#rodys perspective of the hug

[i-write-shakespeare-not-disney]

you weren't mine to lose

[kyberled]

extra sad part in Braig's story the entirety of the fact that his mentor is someone he clearly has an attachment too and yet,,,,No Attachments my dude

 Point out sad parts about my character’s story. || Accepting

Okay this is actually horrible because it seriously messed up his ability to form positive healthy relationships without feeling some sort of remorse or guilt or self-loathing, but tbh Obi’s one of the only relationships he doesn’t really feel those things with like at all (unless it’s a Really Bad Day, but this is one of the better ones) and might be the only one he doesn’t have hang-ups about. This is in part because that’s just how it’s always been. It’s the same reason he accepts the whole ‘no attachments’ thing to begin with, or any of the messed up stuff the Jedi believe - it’s always been that way, why bother questioning it? But there’s also the fact that Obi reciprocates and encourages, in his own way, the family bond, and this is a Jedi Master we’re talking about. Not just any master, too - it’s acknowledged, at least in the novels, that Obi-Wan is held up as one of the best Jedi in the Order - ‘a paragon’, I believe he’s called. It’s canon that other Jedi use Obi-Wan as an example for what their padawans should be, so, when he acts in an affectionate/familial way towards Braig, kiddo’s like, ‘oh, this must be okay, then’. I mean, he’s aware it’s against the Code, but he sees having a close bond with his mentor as a minor violation. Sort of like how getting a parking ticket is still breaking the law, but it’s not as bad as, say, stealing a car or murder. Falling in any sort of love, however, is right out (even though it happens a lot in real life; he just feels like it shouldn’t, and feels horrible when he does.)

So, it’s a pretty healthy relationship, ESPECIALLY as far as Jedi go. I mean, there is a bit of a problem as far as dependency goes, especially, I think, on Braig’s end - As Rodi said, ‘They’re so entwined. They literally need each other.’ But, you’ve seen how Braig’s biological dad is - I think we can both agree a bit of mutual clinginess is better than Eadric as a whole.

Tl;dr the principle itself messes with him a lot, and he really wishes he could be more open about having a father, but all things considered it’s arguably the best relationship he has with anyone, so. It’s actually the only thing that keeps him sane, most times.

AND FOR THE BONUS ROUND, I got the okay from Rodi to post some of my favourite bits from our IM/Skype threads, so, here’s proof that these two have been flagrantly breaking the Code basically since Braig was born (note most of these are gonna be from Obi’s perspective, and therefore were written by Rodi, not myself, since Braig’s already president of the Obinobi fanclub, and quite publicly so. Also, putting this under a cut because there are a lot them.)

“I just… I’m… I thought I was going to lose you.” He mumbles into Braig’s hair as he holds on for dear life. “I’m so glad you’re safe, that we’re both safe.”

(following a dangerous rescue mission that nearly went really wrong)

“I would never leave you.” Comes the stalwart response, quiet but firm in its delivery. He means it. He would have clung to life until the bitter end, and refused to leave Braig.

(same mission, after Braig voices his fears of almost losing Obi)

“I’m quick to get back on my feet,“ he replies, carding a hand idly through Braig’s hair.

(just frickin. Pet the child while having a completely unrelated conversation with someone else)

"That’s my boy.” He says softly, with a smile.

(!!!!!

Obi-Wan takes a moment in shock, before he returns the hug, chest aching as he holds his son. The boy he thought he’d failed. Lost forever.He doesn’t know how, but at some point they’ve crumpled to the floor. Did his knees give out? Either way, he’s clinging and holding on and weeping into Braig’s shoulder openly. His hands tremble and he can hardly believe it’s real. It is, though. Isn’t it? Braig’s here. Braig’s alive.

(THIS WAS FROM A REUNION VERSE WE DID WHERE BRAIG FINDS OBI ON TATOOINE AFTER O66 AND IF YOU EVER WANNA MAKE ME CRY HAPPY TEARS!!! HERE’S!!! HOW!!!!!!)

saggitariisms(PLS CONSIDER OBI TEACHING BABY BRAIG HOW TO WALK)chosenliar(o h my god)(walking along with tiny baby braig on his feet and holding onto his handssaggitariisms(Braig just looking at his own lil legs in absolute fascination. Looks wide-eyed up at Obi and just. Tiny curious baby sounds. This is new and he is confused)chosenliar(ohhh my gosh that is so cute i’m gonna cry _( obi probably is too g od)saggitariisms( w h enever he takes really big steps Braig just gasps because !! h e is flying!! maybe tiny little ‘whee’ noises)chosenliar(SOBS THAT’S RLY CUTE. Obi-Wan just grinning from ear to ear with this tiny baby on his feet.)saggitariisms(Braig just clinging to his hands and looking around at all the places they’re goin. New things to see. At one point he totally defeats the purpose to the exercise by pulling his feet up so he’s just swinging from obi’s hands)chosenliar(that just makes obi-wan laugh and he scoops braig up into his arms)saggitariismsBRAIG JUST BEAMING AND SMOOCHING A TINY BABY KISS ON HIS DADDY’S NOSE)chosenliar(OBI-WAN JUST NEARLY TEARING UP AND JUST LAVISHING TINY BBY BRAIG WITH KISSES(

(THIS ENTIRE EXCHANGE. It turned into a thread but this was the start and it was too pure)

Obi-Wan just sheepishly brushes them off and shrugs, holding Braig close. "If I can help settle him down for you, wouldn’t you prefer the help?”

(In response to nursery staff trying to get padawan Obi to hand Baby Braig over so they can put him to bed)

[4:02:17 PM] daddy-wan kenobi: learnin to walk[4:02:55 PM] Thirteen and a Half Screaming Frogs: om g[4:03:09 PM] Thirteen and a Half Screaming Frogs: When baby braig started walkin on his own he’d always hold his hands over his head[4:03:19 PM] Thirteen and a Half Screaming Frogs: cause he learned the basic idea by holding on to Obi’s hands[4:03:23 PM] daddy-wan kenobi: AW[4:03:44 PM] Thirteen and a Half Screaming Frogs: so clearly he had to pretend he was still holding on or he’d fall[4:03:52 PM] daddy-wan kenobi: that’s. so cute omg[4:04:41 PM] Thirteen and a Half Screaming Frogs: just the most concentrated look. Starin down at his lil feet and pouting as he held on to the air[4:05:45 PM] daddy-wan kenobi: obi-wan just chuckles and watches him go, so proud[4:06:41 PM] Thirteen and a Half Screaming Frogs: He probably only makes it a few steps the first time and then just plunks down[4:07:17 PM] daddy-wan kenobi: and obi-wan just grins and lifts him up again, SO proud.“look at you! you did so well!”[4:10:21 PM] Thirteen and a Half Screaming Frogs: Braig just lookin around wide-eyed, hanging on to Obi-s sleeves, then flaps his arms a bit.“Bwan!” He’s very excited.[4:11:03 PM] daddy-wan kenobi: “Yes, Braig. Very well done! Here, why don’t you give it another try?” Gently smiles as he sets him down, and then kneels in front of him, beckoning. “Come on, little one.”[4:13:21 PM] Thirteen and a Half Screaming Frogs: Braig just looks at his feet, then looks at Obi-Wan, looking almost concerned, but manages a few steps on wobbly little legs. Almost falls, but reaches out and grabs on to Obi as soon as he can.[4:14:45 PM] daddy-wan kenobi: He chuckles and holds Braig up gently, taking his hands and holding them, while crouching in front of him.“alright, let’s try again.”[4:17:46 PM] Thirteen and a Half Screaming Frogs: Braig holds on tight, curling little fists around Obi-Wan’s fingers, and frowns at the floor for a second. It always looks so easy when the grown-ups do it. Maybe he needs bigger shoes. However, that thought lasts about as long as any of his do, and he takes a few more slow steps, never letting go.[4:18:57 PM] daddy-wan kenobi: “there we go. one step at a time.” Obi-Wan practically coos at Braig as he leads him along gently, smiling. Eventually, he loosens his grip on Braig’s hands, allowing him to do all the holding and let go if he feels like it.

(ANOTHER BABBU THING THAT WENT ON FOREVER BUT F RICK DADAWAN AND BABBU WERE THE SWEETEST)

“Don’t!” He’s been trying to stand the whole time. Even with the wound in his side forcing him down, he fights it and forces himself back up. Finally, as Anakin gets the upper hand, Obi-Wan manages to stay on his feet and pulls his Saber. Anakin over Braig, Obi-Wan under Anakin, his own saber a barrier against his former student’s to protect Braig. Even so, his legs are trembling with the effort.

(AltSith!Braig hurt Obi in a fight. Anakin got protective even while Braig/Novius was just kinda stunned. Obi is still a dad.)

Just keeps smiling and reaches up to run a hand through Braig’s hair.  “I knew my padawan was still in there somewhere.” Just heaves a soft sigh and closes his eyes, breathing shallow.

(from the same thread as above where LITERALLY NOTHING WAS OKAY)

“Braig has been in custody of the Separatists and, quite clearly, Sith. When the report of his capture was made, I requested permission to mount a search. My request was denied, and I disobeyed the council and searched anyway. I tracked him down after he was kidnapped and intended to bring him back, not to be prosecuted, but to be aided. I will not allow anyone to lay a hand on him in harm.”

(Alt!Sith/Redeemed Braig ACTUALLY BEING LOOKED AFTER FOR ONCE)

In that moment, Obi-Wan /raises his voice/ as he turns around.  "He will /not/ be going to a cell!”

(more Obidad looking out for his ex-Sith son)

Omg Obi coming back with more than just rations, but a full meal. He called in a favour with the kitchen staff (some of which remember that little precious child who used to come see them) and got them to make Braig’s favorites

(upon hearing Braig hadn’t been eating well on the dark side)

Obi-Wan moves across the room and stands beside him. One hand on his shoulder. He’s not about to just sit in a chair while Braig stands in front of the council trying to defend himself.

(Trying to make Braig feel safe during the trial. Keep in mind this is after Obi already arguing for literal hours for Braig to be rehabilitated instead of punished)

"I love you too, Braig. I always will. No matter what side wefind ourselves on.”

(Obi-Wan to a slightly different Alt!Sith after a rather emotional conversation in the middle of an abandoned battlefield while hugs happened)

Gentle hushes follow the coughing, Obi-Wan placing his other handatop Braig’s head gently, smoothing his hair. “I wasn’t going tolet you die. I could never. Hush, now.”

(After taking a grievously injured Alt!Sith to a medstation and Braig being very confused)

Carefully, so as not to jostle and hopefully not to awaken, helifts Braig from the bed, taking a moment to settle him beforeheading for the door. He’s not letting this escalate further,especially with how assertive the med staff have gotten.

(In which Obi-Wan literally picks up a healing Alt!Sith and fuckin ditches the Temple because he doesn’t think the Order is handling this right and they get an apartment on Mandalore)

“I’m proud of you.”

(BRAIG ALMOST TEARED UP THIS IS LITERALLY HIS!!! FAVOURITE THING FOR OBI-WAN TO SAY TO HIM)

Hestarts at the rough treatment of his padawan, reading Braig’s fearand discomfort. His gaze moves from Braig, back to Maul, and backagain. “I… Y-You…” There’s a moment of silence, beforehe hangs his head. “I’ll give them to you… Just-just let himgo. Don’t harm him…”

(When Maul demanded the locations/coordinates of an entire system’s worth of medical stations in exchange for Braig’s life)

Hecan’t match Braig’s gaze, and he’s ashamed. He remembers, vaguely,hearing Anakin ranting about someone’s philosophy. ‘I know when it’stime to let my Padawan go’, he had said mockingly, making a talkingmotion with his hand, ‘Can you believe how ridiculous it is?’ Yes, hethinks. Utterly ridiculous, now that he’s living it. He /can’t/ letBraig go, and for once, the needs of the greater can’t outweigh thelife of this one small, wiry boy that he loves so much. He crops fromthe cuffs, knees giving out under him almost immediately, after hoursof disuse. He doesn’t make an effort to stand.

(same as above.)

“Y-You’vealways been my son. I love you, Braig. S-So much. I’m sorry… I’msorry.”

(GUESS WHO KILLED BRAIG ANYWAY) (IT WAS MEEEEEEE)

Thetears don’t stop as Braig reaches up, but Obi-Wan does draw backenough to look down at him, cupping the hand on his cheek with hisown to hold it there, thumb soothing back and forth against Braig’sknuckles. He leans forward and presses a kiss to his crown, and thento his temple, then his forehead, soft, feather-like, so very afraidthat one wrong move will break him. He’s slipping away. He can feelit, like threads snapping all around him, the Force already lettinghim go. “I love you, Braig. E-Everything’s okay.”Everything’s not okay. “You’re going to be just fine…”

(HAHAHAHHAHAHAH I was sobbing.)

Hepauses, then nods, taking the book gently from her grip. “Thankyou.” His voice cracks as he glances down at the page. Hedoesn’t even need to look at it to say what’s there. It’s beenrunning through his mind since the moment Braig went cold in hisarms. “Braig, I loved you from the moment I met you. You were soimpossibly small, and I couldn’t believe you would… ever grow up.Even as you grew, I couldn’t believe what an extraordinary person youwere. Bright and inquisitive, never satisfied with what you knew,what you could do, you always hungered for more. When I took you as aPadawan, I was so afraid. What if you grew to resent me? What if thisyoung boy that I watched grow decides that he doesn’t like me as muchas he did when he was little? And yet, our bond was stronger than Iever dreamed. I loved you, with all my heart, and together, we grew.And now, you’re nearly grown and I’ve never been prouder of you.You’ve changed the lives of so many…  s-so many people, butmost of all, you changed mine. You taught me so many things, athousand more than I could have ever taught you. Most of all, youtaught me family and love, you taught me what it’s like to be afather, and a proud one at that.” There are tears on his cheeks,but he keeps reading, swiping a hand across his eyes defiantly.“You’ve always been my son. You always will be. And I’ll neverstop being proud of that. I love you… so much.” He breaks, hisvoice cracking to the point where he can’t speak. He has to turn awayand mop at his eyes with his sleeve, clutching Braig tightly in hisother hand.

(RODI/OBI WROTE A FUCKING EULOGY I WAS ACTUALLY IN REAL TEARS)

Absolutely nobody is getting close to Braig as long as he stillhas breath and life in his body.

(Best dad ever tbh)

“You will not lay a finger on my son.” He growls.

“Do not speak of him that way.” He hisses, clenching hisfist and constricting the Force around Maul. “I will never allowyou to harm him, ever again.”

He hesitates, the grip on Maul barely faltering as he considershis actions. Is this anger? Is this rage? He frowns, before makinghis decision. No. It isn’t. “I’m afraid you’re mistaken, Maul.I’m not doing this to you out of hate or anger.” He steps alittle closer, expression calm, even as he keeps the vice grip on theSith rigid and unforgiving. “I am a Jedi Master, yes, but I amalso father to that boy in there.” He stops just out of arm’sreach. “And this isn’t hate. It’s love.” He smiles, browslifting on his forehead. “I love him with every fibre of mybeing, so much so that I would fight with the ferocity of a thousandsuns to keep him safe. And you? You are not going to interfere. Iwill hold you here,” his grip on Maul tightens around the legs,trying to pop plating, to rend circuitry, “until his recovery iscomplete.”

(Obi at Maul, from various replies, after I decided some bullshit Force way to bring Braig back because I was not going to sleep heartbroken)

“I… Thank you. Thank you so much. I know it’s notappropriate, according to the council, but… he means the world tome. I love him with all my heart.” […] "Maul ridiculed me when I called him my son… but I love himlike one. If the council knew…“

(Obi TO ANOTHER JEDI MASTER. Like when I say these two aren’t subtle I mean there came a point they didn’t even bother trying to hide it any more)

He hushes softly, making comforting noises and petting his hairsoothingly. "I know, I know, but it’s okay. We all came out ofthis okay.” Obi-Wan hums, rocking Braig gently back and forth.“We’re both okay, and everything is fine. I’m here, I love you,and I’m so glad you’re safe.”

(Braig was a bit shaken after literally dying.)

“I would do anything to make sure you’re healthy, happy andsafe.” He assures gently, resting a hand on the back of Braig’shead a moment. “That’s what family does.”

(It got mushy but it was needed)

He hangs saber back on his belt before pulling Braig into acrushing hug. “I promise I won’t let anyone hurt you. It’sokay.” He whispers, holding him tightly to his chest. “You’reokay. I’m here.”

(More shenanigans and Space Dad making sure Braig feels safe)

He’s about tocontinue speaking, before he pauses, the words clicking in his headand hitting something tender. “… I beg your pardon?” Hekeeps his tone even, despite his expression hardening ever soslightly as he folds his hands in his lap and certainly does notclench them, hidden in the folds of his tunic.

[…]

“A danger…”He repeats softly, frown a little more prominent on his brow.“Master, Braig is a free-spirited child. He respects me. To takehim away from my guidance and place him with another not so equippedto deal with his… independence… would be a mistake.” He’lltry to be civil, at least.

[…]

He grips the fabricof his tunic even tighter for a moment before relinquishing it. “Andwho would you choose to place him with? Master Fisto has refusedanother Padawan, Master Ti is at Kamino full time…” He frowns,trying to find reasons why Braig should stay with him that aren’t ‘Ilove him too much to let him go’.

[…]

He sighs, looksaway, looks back. “No.” It’s abrupt and firm, and eventhough Obi-Wan looks momentarily surprised at himself for saying it,he crosses his arms and refuses to budge. “I will not entrusthis safety to anyone else. He has trained with me for two years, andhe will stay with me. The boy was just plucked from the maw of death.Making such an abrupt change now of all times would absolutelyunbalance him, foster resent, rebelliousness… I won’t stand forit.”

[…]

That’s done it. Hestands, irritated, and sets to pacing. “/With all due respect/,/Master/.” It’s bit out through clenched teeth. “But thereare far larger and more /pressing/ issues at hand than what /you/intend to do with /my/ padawan. A criminal was apprehended on the wayback to Coruscant. One who set a clone trooper into a murderousrampage with only three words. I’d figure that’s a larger issue thanBraig’s placement, and actually the issue I came to bring to yourattention.”

(Obi’s response(s) to being told the Council is now worried he’s too attached to Braig and it’s getting in the way of his duties so they think Braig might be assigned. This was, mind, a private conversation with Yoda.)

Like again. I just. Frick I love these two so much they’re literally the reason I made this blog I’m gonna c r y