#rn i only feel poorly bc im a weak person who whines over small issues and minor pains
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#shits hard. its weird. every day things feel so foreign to me i feel like ive just been born#im struggling so hard with depth perception and i get these multiple day long migraines#my motor skills have been shit. ive had almost constant fuzziness around my vision#im always confused now. i keep mixing my coworkers up and i feel in a state of fight or flight always#i keep wanting to go back to the trauma. i keep imagining experiencing it worse and worse and it feels comforting#idk why ik thats wrong of me. but i feel like i need the pain to ground me and set my head straight#i feel like the vod'e probably think im crazy and stupid and weak even tho they tell me no#im just a fucking child in comparison and i feel so ashamed i let myself be this weak and sink so low over#nothing#i want to get retraumatized bc i feel like if its worse then id at least be justified in feeling poorly#rn i only feel poorly bc im a weak person who whines over small issues and minor pains#im always demanding reassurance and guidance and im so guilty for it.#i need to be punished again for my failures. fix me i need to be fixed
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