#rlsimself+

[aleksa-sims]

🌸🩵🌸

CW: drugs, pregnancy

The holidays were over and I had to go back to work. Today was my first day in the new office. New people, new challenges. That’s why I was so nervous. 😰I expected the worst. I always had bad luck with these annoying department changes. I only liked it in the social office, where I had nice work mates and also working with them and helping other people made me happy. And that’s exactly where I wanted to go back, after I finished the remaining 2 years of my training.

I was glad that I didn’t have to go back to that asylum, where I worked before. This was really one of the worst offices I’ve ever worked in.

Later that day, I will study with Dilek for our next big exam. That's what we planned but... well, let's see. N. accompanied me to my new office in the morning.  I was so scared that someone had to take me there. Not just because of my new job! What happend 6 months ago... started to torture me again. I guess that's bcs I stopped taking my antidepressants. I am pregnant. Every drug, every pill I take (in addition to that drug substitute) ..... can cause risks for my Baby. That’s what my Mom's gynecologist said to me. Her doctor did not examine me. He only briefly informed me about the options, if I don’t want a pregnancy. And he also made me an appointment for an abortion. I wanted that.😞This was 2 days ago, I wasn’t sure what to do? But yesterday my other doctor, Daniel’s doc, who prescribes me my drugs, told me I could keep my Baby. And this doctor, I could tell by his face, how happy he was for me, because I was so happy about that good news. He really enlightened and informed me well! Our conversation lasted almost 40 minutes. This doctor wanted to help me and my Baby. I could see and feel that. So for now, I decided to trust his opinion.

Nico tried to calm me down and encouraged me about my new job. I would have liked to take N. with me as support. I told him, if I had magic powers, I’d shrink him, so he could fit in my bag, to accompany me without anyone noticing anything. Like.... a tiny, hidden helper doing my job for me. 🤣 ... Nico said, "But you’re not alone! You actually have someone tiny with you." Aw, this was so cute. 🩵 ... Knowing that I wasn’t alone, really helped me that day. 

Previous/Next

[aleksa-sims]

🦉🦇

I went out into the snow to take a little walk around the house before my parents came here in the evening. After a short while I noticed Irma 😨, that crazy woman. I was thinking what to do? Should I talk to her? Or at least wave to her? I risked a brief look to the side, to... smirk at her.😬 You know the old saying? "Treat others the way you want to be treated."...

My grams used to recite this sentence to Ana & me (all the time) when we were little girls and this stuck in my mind. But she did that because of Ana! Ana was a pretty naughty, sassy kid 🤨, you know? I was the complete opposite, quiet & unobtrusive. Adults who dealt with me, like some of my stupid teachers, sometimes even forgot me. They said I was like a ghost. And Irma reminded me of my... "little self." Just with the difference, that she was really a bit scary. And I wasn’t a peeper of course!🤨

How ever, I got no reaction back from Irma, but her evil eyes scared me! Slowly I regretted that I left the house alone. So I... RUN!....

[aleksa-sims]

😒..... 🌼🌻

[aleksa-sims]

Two morons (😉) & a Baby

Previous

[aleksa-sims]

CW: addiction

Let’s see if I will find a wedding dress for me? 👗😕 I chose 4 dresses that Daniel’s mom put aside for me. I wanted something more.... simple! Nothing exaggerated. I mean, it shouldn’t look too..... bridal? You know? I didn’t even want a wedding, I just wanted to marry D. and that’s it! But my sister & my mom accompanied me 😩🤯and.... I HATE shopping! Especially with my mother, who constantly wants to determine, how I should look! 😡