#rip online footprint

[kitttenteeth]

just had a v upsetting realization that sexual encounters should b a “yes !!!!!!” nd not “um i can if u want” or “okay i guess”

[shady-tavern]

Preview for "Haunted House" the November Short Story

(warnings ahead for implied/mentioned domestic and child abuse, please be sure to take care of yourselves)

*.*.*

The building looked just like the rumors said it would, haunted and decrepit. Like a prop for a horror movie. 

The tooth of time had clearly found it's favorite chew toy and while you could see attempts at repairing things here and there, it hadn't been enough to combat the building's slow decay or to chase away the strangely unsettling feeling that surrounded this place.

The only upside was that it was so cheap it was ridiculous and after getting away from your old home, leaving a terrible relationship behind, you could not afford to be picky. 

It was just for a little while, you told yourself as you dragged your suitcase up the stairs, your duffle bag so heavy it's strap across your shoulder dug in painfully. 

The stairs had chipped edges and stains you didn't even want an explanation for and the same went for the hallway, the floor there looking like it had sustained some sort of damage over the years and was in dire need of some professional cleaning and renovating.

You'd just stay here long enough until you got back on your feet so you could move on to a home that didn't look like it might carry diseases from forgotten times.

You had read plenty of rumors online about this place, on the site where you had seen the ad for available apartments. People had ripped this building to shreds in the comment section, talking about moaning and screeching at night, at feeling stalked and watched, at things vanishing and reappearing elsewhere.

They talked about bloody footprints left outside in the hallways, a neighbor gone, never to be seen again while all their belongings were left behind. Some also complained that the landlord didn't bother to fix anything unless someone hounded him relentlessly beforehand.

When you had called the man, asking if any apartments were still available, the landlord had been downright ecstatic, reassuring you that you had numerous apartments to choose from, since there were almost no residents. 

It seemed people only came here if they were down on their luck and even the desperate ones didn't stay long.

There also wasn't an elevator, because this building was really damn old and had never gotten any sort of significant overhaul. Those who couldn't take the stairs chose one of the apartments on the first floor.

You reached your apartment and dug out the key your landlord had given you upon arrival. It looked a little bit rusted around the edges, faint scratches covering the surface. It smelled strongly of wet iron despite being dry. 

Unlocking the door, you were braced for mold in the corners and for the smell of damp oldness or something worse, only to pause.

The inside looked surprisingly...fine. Nothing fancy and there were discolorations along the walls where clearly no one had bothered to give it a new coat of paint in a couple of years at the very least, but there was no mold, no rot, no water damage and it didn't smell bad. You had expected far worse, if you were being honest.

The floorboards creaked under your feet as you set down your luggage by the door, but as you cautiously explored your new home you were pleasantly surprised to find that everything worked as intended. Sure the faucet squeaked like it had never gotten oiled and the water rushing through the pipes was loud, but the light bulbs didn't flicker and the little oven and stove in the kitchen worked just fine. 

It was, all in all, not as bad as you had expected.

It didn't take long at all, however, until you felt it. A presence in the air, invisible and unseen and yet you swore someone, something, was there. You stood still, your suitcase and duffle bag just set down in the empty living room and you downright held your breath as you waited.

But nothing happened and so you slowly started to move again, cautiously and stiffly, like you were trying to avoid provoking something bigger and far, far more dangerous than anyone could ever hope to be. It felt like razor sharp teeth were holding your entire apartment between their jaws, debating if you should be crushed or not.

Before long you started to play some music over your phone, trying to combat the oppressive silence.

It worked, to a degree. The presence didn't vanish, but it seemed to...settle, for lack of a better word, like it was listening. It almost felt like having someone in the apartment with you, in another room and neither of you were speaking. Someone who, you knew down to your very core, could shred you like flimsy paper.

It wasn't quite as...bad, after a while. Unsettling and creepy, sure, but you'd rather endure this chilling presence than go back to your ex. Your life would only turn into a guaranteed hell if you did.

Since this place had a small if very old kitchen installed, you left briefly to get some groceries and you bought an air mattress on a discounter a few streets away, along with some blankets and paper plates to tide you over. You had left only with your most important possessions and savings, your life squished into your luggage until nothing else had fit inside anymore.

You ate a cold, quick dinner, eyeing the sinking sun worriedly. In the slowly spreading darkness of the approaching night the creepiness of the whole building grew, like dark paint getting poured over an untouched canvas.

At night things really did get worse. You could hear it, the scratching and moaning outside your apartment, the creaking as doors opened and then slammed closed and you swore you heard something move in the hallway right outside your bedroom door.

You curled up tight under your blankets and you played the music on your phone a little louder and slowly, as the hours passed, the apartment building seemed to settle again, the noise growing softer until you could pretend it was just an annoying neighbor banging around their cabinets and generally being noisy.

Your sleep was fitful and restless as you barely dared to doze off. You were exhausted when your alarm rang and you dragged yourself out of bed, your head aching. You blearily got ready for the job interview you had today and by the time you were good to go you had managed to wake yourself up enough that you felt as ready as you could be.

You took a calming breath and then you felt it again, a little bit of a chill in the air and that presence creeping through your apartment once more. 

You stared at yourself in the spotty mirror left behind by a previous tenant and you told yourself that you hadn't gotten away from one horror only to cower at the feet of another. However, you also weren't foolish enough to think that you could actually chase away whatever lived here. 

This thing had been here before you and it was something...otherworldly. You had no idea if it was a ghost or some kind of eldritch creature or whatever else.

"There's crackers in the cupboard if you want any," you said, putting on a brave facade as you talked to the air around you. "I'd appreciate it if we could get along, if you don't mind. I'll be off to find work now, wish me luck."

It felt like the presence had paused and you felt watched all the way out of the apartment and that sensation only vanished when you walked down the street and around a corner, disappearing from sight.

You were indeed lucky, for the interview went very well and to your relieved surprise, you were hired right away. Not many people moved into this area, however, and you were willing to bet that it had to do with the creepy apartment building that seemed to drench the entire street with it's presence, spine chilling and shiver inducing.

You were very relieved about your success when you returned to your new home, a small, celebratory dinner bought with some of your savings.

As you entered the apartment, that presence was in the air once more, almost anticipatory, lurking above and around you all at once.

"I got lucky," you told your apartment and a small, hesitant smile appeared at your face despite the prickle of unease that tickled at your neck. "You must be my good luck charm."

As you entered the kitchen you saw the empty cracker box in the trash and blinked in surprise. Huh, whatever was here it already had more manners than your rotten ex did.

"Thanks for cleaning up after yourself," you told the apartment and you started to get your dinner ready. You hesitated for a moment, before setting aside an extra serving. "For you, if you like."

By the time you finished eating, the extra food had vanished and you blinked when you saw the paper plate in the trash. You hadn't even heard anything. You cleaned up after yourself, talking to the air about your day, both to combat the unease that still clung to you, that made you feel small and squishy and like prey and because you hadn't really had anyone listen to you for a long while.

Your ex boyfriend had managed to isolate you completely from your friends and family and you were too ashamed to try and reach out to them again. A part of you was also convinced that they wouldn't want to hear from you again, that you had caused them enough grief already.

You fell quiet at that thought and you silently went into the bathroom to wash the stress of the day and night away, the stress of leaving your old life behind, only to immediately decide that there was no way you were going to take a bath without thoroughly cleaning everything.

"Be back in a bit," you told the apartment as you left, heading to the very same store that had just hired you to buy cleaning products. Returning with your small haul, you set to scrubbing every inch of the bathroom and you felt the presence hover over your shoulder all the while.

"I will not risk getting sick," you told the air as you scrubbed the bathtub. "Do you know how long it takes to get rid of foot fungus? I am absolutely not risking that."

Once you were done cleaning to your satisfaction, you were covered in sweat and exhausted and you realized that you'd have to ask the presence to leave. You did not want to bathe while feeling watched.

"Would you mind waiting outside?" you asked the air. "I want to do this in private."

There was a long, heavy second of stillness, as though something around you was thinking and then you felt the presence pull back and you only realized how tense you had been when your breath rushed out of you with relief.

"Thank you," you called with a raised voice, only to jump when you heard scratching down the outside of the bathroom door.

You scrubbed down swiftly only to realize that you hadn't brought a change of clothes.

"Uh, would you mind not looking as I get dressed?" you called out into the hallway and weirdly enough, you got the impression that something was turning away from you. Still there but not paying you any attention.

You scurried down the hall to get dressed and as soon as you called out that you were done, the feeling of something looming over your shoulder was back.

"Want to watch something on my phone with me?" you asked after a long moment of heavy silence that ended up feeling a little awkward and quiet tense.

You settled down on the air mattress and you swore the shadows around you darkened and when, from the corner of your eye, it looked like some sort of large, clawed shadow hand was creeping over the edge of your mattress, you resolutely ignored it, even as your stomach clenched uneasily.

Your exhaustion caught up to you halfway through the third movie and you woke up to moaning and scratching and doors creaking open and banging closed again.

"What's wrong?" you blearily asked the air around you, still hazy with sleep and the noise quieted for a moment, before it felt like something was leaning over you, all darkness and numerous eyes and razor sharp teeth and you didn't dare open your own eyes to look back at it.

It seemed to stare and wait until you fitfully fell asleep again and while you jerked awake a few times throughout the night, the unsettling noise was distant, like a drunk neighbor two doors down acting like a dick.

In the morning you got ready for your first shift and you told the creature, that this place absolutely belonged to more than the landlord, that you'd be gone for a while and you'd bring back dinner.

While you had hoped to find distraction at work, it seemed as though everyone knew you lived in the haunted building and everyone wanted to talk about it. It seemed you couldn't get away from the thing you shared your home with even now.

Where you had been unsettled but not completely frightened before, now you heard more stories about people turning up dead in that building. Most died in very bloody, gruesome ways.

"A man was torn to shreds just last month," an older woman told you as you bagged her purchase and she sighed, "You look after yourself, that's no way to die."

Indeed not, but it wasn't like you could go anywhere else either. Your savings wouldn't allow for anything better and you were not going to go back. In the end, that thing in your new home wasn't worse than your ex. Not yet, at least.

You bought the food you had promised to bring after your shift and you grabbed one of the cheap books set up on the side as well. The kind that your grandpa had referred to as dime novels, smiling in victory whenever he had found something for your grandma, who loved them to bits. The cheesier the better.

You really missed them.

You felt the presence settle around you the moment you set foot onto the property, the apartment building looming ahead and you returned to your dingy little flat, finding it undisturbed. Nothing had vanished and nothing had gotten broken.

You cooked another meal for yourself and whatever monster lived here and you set down the novel beside the extra serving you had plated. 

"In case you get bored," you told it and you looked away for just a moment, but the food and novel were both gone when you glanced back, the paper plate once more neatly put into the trash.

As you ate you thought that your unexpected companion was a bearable houseguest. Sure, it's night time manners were atrocious, but otherwise...it could have been worse.

Especially since you couldn't get rid of it anyway, you might as well figure out how to live with it instead.

*.*.*

If you want to read more, be sure to check out my patreon, my ko-fi or give the masterpost a whirl!

[lostlavenderer]

Every few years I have this urge to delete every trace of my online (and tbh offline in a very 'I wanna stride off into the sunset and start over somewhere else' way) footprint and I am immediately reminded of the old pink glitter diaries in the back of my closet that have dozens of pages ripped out bc 8 year old me hated what 7 year old me wrote and then 9 year old me hated last year's writing and so on, causing older me to sadly wonder what child me used to think about. Don't be afraid of the progress you've made!! Even if it's cringe!!! Especially if it's cringe!!!!! Don't burn down the library of Alexandria

[shadowqnights]

I have never been so heartbroken over a fanfic. It has ripped my heart heart out and stopped on it, but I am going to continue to let it. Your writing style is GORGEOUS. I can't fathom how you string words together so wonderfully. (And I thought I was good at metaphors, pfft.) And the transissions from past to present are gorgeous. I need more. It's probably a bit of an unhealthy obsession at this point.

- lots of love, someone who has quietly been following ever since discovering the fiction but is too scared to say anything because having an online footprint is terrifying. <3

raugh THANK YOU SM ANON. that means a lot

you guys don't know sincerely how much stuff like this means to me and keeps me going with writing. your interactions and like. finding out what people like and are enjoying about my fics make me so happy and inspire me to make more stuff! sorry the angst got ya :P but I'm so glad you're enjoying it!!!

[foundationhq]

EMPLOYEE ID 2099-8114-3; 𝑄𝑈𝑂𝑇𝐸 𝑈𝑁𝑄𝑈𝑂𝑇𝐸.

𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 Matias “Loch” Rojas 𝐀𝐠𝐞 47 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫/𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬 cis man, he/him 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 Pedro Pascal 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬 retired

PROFILE.

The lively and gregarious [𝑄𝑈𝑂𝑇𝐸 𝑈𝑁𝑄𝑈𝑂𝑇𝐸] is a grassroot talent poached from the Dark Web after their electronic footprint was detected by our Foundation AIC personnel in the Infotech Department. The motives behind their cybercrimes to this day are unclear. They were purported to be a “microinfluencer” among cryptid conspiracy theorists online, though the account in question has never been confirmed. What started as a small investigation evolved into a game of cat-and-mouse trying to outplay [𝑄𝑈𝑂𝑇𝐸 𝑈𝑁𝑄𝑈𝑂𝑇𝐸], who at the height of their digital heist attempted to create an unauthorized backup of all SCP files on SCiPnet and replace them with various AI-generated images of “Mothman and Dracula at Prom.” However, [𝑄𝑈𝑂𝑇𝐸 𝑈𝑁𝑄𝑈𝑂𝑇𝐸]’s grand scheme came to an end, largely in part of our AIC personnel’s efforts. When detained and faced with punishment, they surprised the Foundation by begging to join the ranks. Due to their undeniable talent in breaching Foundation security, officials overseeing their case accepted. Now a reformed hacker on the side of good, we believe their first Foundation appointment to the… analog environment of Site-φ can keep them on the right side of the Veil. A note will be made to the MTF Commander to mind [𝑄𝑈𝑂𝑇𝐸 𝑈𝑁𝑄𝑈𝑂𝑇𝐸]’s chatty personality, however. Any leak of MTF Chi-00 can be fatal. — Internal Memo from the Ethics Committee.

LAST ASSIGNMENT.

FREELANCER;   an   independent   hacker involved with the  Serpent’s   Hand. Caught by the Foundation following a cybercrime spree of unknown motivations; previously taught an online computer science course called ‘Unlocking with Loch.’

INTERRELATIONS OF NOTE.

𝐷𝑌𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝐵𝑅𝐸𝐸𝐷. You hate military, but there’s something about this teammate that has piqued your interest. Maybe it’s all the crazy rumors — they’re practically a cryptid in your head. Is it true they once ripped a dude’s head off?! But you’re pretty sure they won’t take the question all too well. Doesn’t matter! You’ll probably figure it out one way or another. Those types are so bad with tech security...

𝑃𝐸𝑅𝐹𝐸𝐶𝑇 𝑆𝑇𝑅𝐴𝑁𝐺𝐸𝑅. They’re just so adorable — like a lost kitten mewing on the side of the road. They definitely don’t fully understand just how over their head they are. But, hey, all good! You have a wealth of information to share, obviously, and you’re giddy to give them the rundown on everything, as long as they give you the 411 on the things they’ve seen and heard, as well.

52 𝑃𝐼𝐶𝐾𝑈𝑃. You can’t tell what's triggering your spidey-sense, but this teammate is definitely shady. You’re sure that sniffing around too closely won’t end well for you. Still… if they are hiding something, who else would be able to dig it up but you? Everyone loves a good exposé. You know what they say: Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

[thebananwithaplan]

Well. No more frogs. All that remained was the mess that they left in the short yet long time they were here, webbed footprint tracks all over the floors and even on some of the walls.

Most of the living room was trashed and reeking of pond smell. The TV? Shattered, as he had worried was what made that noise earlier. Some of the family photos that were hanging were also knocked off the walls as a result, the glass parts of the frames also shattering. Guess those need replacing, too....

The kitchen was no better with shattered plates and cups, and most of the fridge and pantry having been emptied or haphazardly tossed aside to the point of inedibility - but at least Banana had been able to stop them from turning on the oven.

The pond smell was only stronger with the bathroom's tub having been filled to the top with water and mud. How they even bring in the mud in the first place, he'd never know.

His bedroom? Don't get him started. His hammock? Stained with pond and mud, and ripped from the ceiling where it originally hung from. Eugh. He dreaded having to even attempt to replace it; it was hard trying to search online for a hammock fit for a banana to begin with. Mainly because the results are NOT the ones he had in mind, let's just keep it at that. The spare bed? Ehhh.... Remove the mud-stained blankets and pillows, and he guesses the mattress is still usable, as everything else had absorbed most of the stains. Not his preferred way of sleeping, but it's at least something...

...Oh, look at that. His poor N64 and copy of Super Mario 64 and both lying on the ground. And guess what both were full of? That's right - even more pond and mud... and maybe some cheese and tomato, too? Goddamn it. That N64 got him through a lot of his lowest times...

...At least his iconic pom-poms were somehow left untouched. There's that.

...And the only room that had been spared completely? The nephews'; remarkably, their uncle made sure to do whatever it took to not let a single frog clone make their way inside. A sigh of relief; at least the boys still have their beds and their stuff safe.

..........Well. Time to find the broom and get started on the hours-long clean up. 'Cartoon logic' won't help him on this one... Not really feeling the urge to 'dance', either....

[jeanspepe12]

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[benefits1986]

arbi_eff homebuddy 4.0

This is but another thought fart and thought shit post.

Starting to miss my tiny MNL home because this szn is a szn outside MNL really, really soon. Gah. Still have a lot of decluttering to do, but very excited to buy beef that's so fresh on weekends among other things like biking with the new breed in the hood.

Food is the love language that calms me and keeps me going. Really, really good and authentic Asian food and well-made drinks. I'm indeed a Tamagotchi housed in a kid's body who is kinda growing up to the tune of Caterpie. Plus, common and uncommon sense paired with me laughing even when my default RBF usually doesn't give a fuck at all to all. GAH. No more TMI because we're a gentlewoman, after all. Stay tuned, I guess? Side Note: See? I'm but a super basic bitch. Nothing fancy, contrary to popular belief and well-dressed myths. LOL. Lagot na talaga YATA meee, mhieeemahhhh!

The saddle dad and I fought so passionately about is ripping it well. Boogsh. Period. Time to bike more and more, but first, let's do the things all for the greater good. Enough said.

Prompts are popping and I'm loving it, honestly. The bots are really very interesting. Training the bots make me feel like I'm part of the whole Deus ex Machina era, officially. However, a lot to learn... a lot to earn... and a lot to unlearn. Just keep trusting the process, always.

I really need to go back to mya SRA days wherein I try my best to unfuck my dyslexia. UGH. I don't know if I still have that side of me as it has been part of my un-core memories. However, we're here and now, baby. There's no turning back. I'll try to start practicing my core muscles in this department via this thought shit and fart space. UGH.

I guess, it's also time for me to go back to my training days that involve answering quiz books that focus on the basics of grammar and style. Here's a funny story. I'm checking some documents that I need to file for something important. I then chanced upon my papers in grad school. Of course, I chuckled and shook my head. Damn, girl! Those days inspire the delulu solulu me to give things another try. On top of that, I'll just have to tweak my perspective and see everything as a series of games to be won.

This time around though, these series of games are more than just winning, always. Let this be a reminder that not winning is not losing. Instead, not winning is a learning experience a la Mamba, baby! There goes a tiny shift in my fucked up worldview. Let's see how this social experiment pans out. Hmm...

My dad has been very specific in reminding me to eat and rest. LOL. This is so out of his usual, his character, honestly. But, yeah. Since he sees me on the prowl in the name of taxes and the life after taxes more and more, he's kind of concerned and proud. By proud, I mean, now he gets what my grind is all about after more than a decade of knitting his brows whenever he comes across stuff about what I do and what I try to do.

In fairness, in spite his attacks, now he's more subdued, caring even. And this is game-changing right before my very beady eyes. LOL. Kidding aside, I guess we're actually on track to heal together. Perhaps, here's how the universe is showing me and my dad that we can nurse each other's loss of our moms. LUH. Let's see! Or is it but another mood swing from both sides of the boxing ring?

Small Win: In the name of learning and unlearning life lessons, for the past weeks, I always say I NEED YOU, DAD. Of course, I feel like I'm choking and faking it. But, we don't spit. We swallow, so there you go. Got this from DOAC's podcast that talks about the loneliness that men have in this era. DUH. I talked about this in-depth previously, but, yeah. Let's rock and roll! Really digging people who are not searchable online. Oh, those rare and non-existent digital footprints are really making me curious. The fact that I can't "see" stories and frames is a breath of fresh air. I have to validate the root cause of the absence of such digital stats, though. Just so we're super sure, but, so far, all good. Approved. LUH.

September is almost here, so I'd really have to step on the gas and slay, even when I'm on a foldie. WHEW! Let's go, weekend! Shall we?

[beadear]

@ = How the character appears online

(≧∇≦) = What makes the character happy

｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡ = What makes the character laugh

@ = How the character appears online

Beatrice has always been the kind of person that enjoys observing drama rather than being part of it, so her socials are pretty low key typicial white girl instagram but make it goth. This is also to keep her safe from hunters, her social media footprint is nothing you'd look twice at.

However her main source of income is her online sex work, so she puts far more effort into uploading to and promoting her Onlyfans. Her style is playful, relaxed, and will often stream videogames nude or in lingerie as part of her channel.

(≧∇≦) = What makes the character happy

She is happiest when she feels safe to be herself. She has always been a strange and solitary creature, but that doesn't mean she doesn't feel loneliness. After she had to flee thinblood persecution she felt completely isolated, and it was only when she met other thinbloods that were open and proud that she found herself genuinely smiling again. Spending time with BJ brings her joy because there is no need for pretense, she is free to be her weird little self.

｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡ = What makes the character laugh

Chaos, carnage, and dash discourse. Beatrice doesn't really do drama, or moral arguments, or politics, but she loves when it breaks out on dash. Sometimes she'll stir the pot by throwing out some batshit takes to see the reaction. She finds genuine joy in watching the thickbloods ripping into one another.

[airlesscastle]

Forbidden snacc ratings

(RIP Online footprint, my future employers will think I’m a psychopath)

Bunnies: 10/10 Soft marshmallow bunnies or maybe chewy gummy bunnies, or could be a small fun bunny candy that melts in your mouth. Idk why it looks so delicious

Fish: 7.9/10 I want to eat it. Kinda like orange gummy fish but it gets less and less edible looking every time I see it, like the orange gummy turns less into orange gummy and more into meh expired orange gummy the more I look at it.

Lanterns: 9/10 are on the same consensus as bunnies, yummy sugar candy or marshmallow, but it could be a nice warm orange oozing gummy. Much more edible than fish, like it looks like a candy (except the other colored spoiled ones)

Guy making food: FOOD FOOD YUM YUM (it’s real too!) 11/10 It’s steaming and it looks tasty. I considered the bright sign but it might be poisonous, so no. Don’t drink the body of water near him.

Water Bridge Sunset: 10/10 SCENERY. 1/10 ten water edibility. I want to be there, it looks warm and like the first town-like home in a videogame, and not a homely town that’s canon fodder but a nice nostalgic place to hang out, chill and unwind in. Because it feels so nice. Water edibility score is no, I’d not drink that 1/10. Absolutely not. Bridge looks too burnt and charry for my taste.

Bunny with Lantern: 7/10 I would want to eat the bunny. Maybe it’s made out of those pretzel sticks with a yummy yogurt on them. But it also looks like eating it might kill me. But then look on its cute expression aww. I cannot tell if the water is clean.

Lake house with scenery: 8/10 Very edible but broccoli tree is not my cup of tea. Though I kinda want to eat the roof because it just looks sweet, yummy, and crunchy. Some of the boat looks edible, but like don’t touch the water. I don’t think you can digest that.

Lanterns around that one girl: 10/10 GUMDROPS AND SWEDISH FISH. Red things on bridge look yummy but not the tail the red thing has. Eating the red thing’s cape is like eating an orange with the skin. Roof is crunchy, but it looks stale. Water do not touch. It’s one of the cleanest ones in this selection but I wouldn’t recommend it. 2/10 water.

city in chinese new year by 卡斯LV

[thoughtsofadyingsoftwaredev]

Hello, Tumblr world! For some reason I am drawn to you in the Fall season. My last post was just over a year ago… sorry about that. Not that you, my lovely reader, care - and that is IF anyone reads this! I won't lie I don't care if people read these or not, this is essentially an online journal for me at this point, ha.

So, what's new with me lately, you might ask? Well, I'll break it down:

Still happy with our house. We've made gradual updates to it since moving in, including redoing some old flooring with some new vinyl faux-wood looking stuff. Super nice. Also replaced an old toilet in the process. Next we're eyeballing a bathtub upgrade for one of the bathrooms and big landscaping changes to our back yard.

Got promoted at work to Senior Software Engineer after 3 years. Not bad turnaround time for that title change, in my opinion. My responsibilities shifted from managing the IAM software to managing our search experience for the many different applications we provide.

This primarily means I'm responsible for drafting search document schemas, working with these other teams to get answers on questions they refuse to provide answers to without me having to ask first, and handling the logic for ingesting hundreds of thousands of items of varying types to different search engines. In my 3.5 years of working here, I have enjoyed the challenges of the job. Of course, it's not without it's awful days or days where my head is screeching, but the good days outweigh the bad for me.

Wife and I are still on speaking terms. That's my way of saying we're both as good and happy with each other as ever lol she's my best friend. We both got super interested in NFL this season and watch every Monday and Thursday game and watch Minnesota (wife's favorite team) on Sundays. RIP Vikings post-Cousins injury.

That's about all I can think of life-wise. My 31st birthday was a few weeks ago, and I feel old as shit sometimes LOL I look in the mirror and I see what seems like new wrinkles in new places, my hair is graying in small parts, and I find it hard to stay up late. It's 1:04AM right now and I find this to be the upper range of my limits lol

I had a dream recently that my wife and I died in a freak accident at some theme park (not a specific one, just some weird abstract dreamy one) - from what I can remember we were on what we thought was part of a ride, but what ended up happening is we both fell to our deaths.

After we died, we both were floating over family and friends as spirits, watching our bodies get carried in open caskets. For some reason, I had two huge pieces of hair that went down both sides of my face (this is nowhere near what my hair looks like so no idea why this was).

At first, when I woke up, I kinda had to laugh at it. The overall sequence of events was a bit silly. But I found myself thinking more and more about it throughout today. Who will care if I die? Not in a "bad thoughts" kinda way, but genuinely - what kind of footprint am I leaving in this world? Will people know or care that I die? Probably not, and I think ultimately I'm fine with that, but the dream gave me pause and kinda fucked with me today haha.

Can I tell you a secret Tumblr? I have a burner Facebook account that I use to see how my old friends are doing. I am very anti-social media, and as part of that, have no real ways of keeping up with people from previous parts of my life aside from those who have my cell or email, so this gives me an outlet to see how friends I've made over the years are doing now.

Some of them never left my hometown, which kinda bums me out, because when I think of my time there, I couldn't imagine having stayed. But I have to consider that they may really love the place and have strong ties to it. I don't want to sound mean when I say that, but it's just a very small, quiet town that seems like a place you'd stay if you decided not to attend university or a trade school. And that's perfectly okay, too.

Some are thriving, too! A very good friend of mine recently got married, and I'm thrilled for him. I remember late nights at college talking with him outside of his dorm in the night air, rocking back and forth in a rocking chair, like the ones you see at Cracker Barrel. We'd talk philosophy, religion, girls, music, and much more. He's an awesome, genuinely kind hearted person and I'm glad to see he's doing well. He's not the only one, there are others who are all out there doing their thing, so to speak. I can't say why, but seeing these people I've known at some points in their lives doing well makes me incredibly happy.

Music is always a wonderful memory and hobby for me. Music is what brought most of my friends I've made and I together. I recently started playing guitar again (thank you Rocksmith 2014) and it has been a blast! I recently acquired a dream guitar of mine for awhile now: a Surf Green Fender MIM Strat. I fucking love it.

Piano is still on hiatus and has been for many, many years. I think it might intimidate me a bit. I eventually will have to bite the bullet and revisit it. I plan on using ABRSM resources to find some appropriate pieces for where I'm currently at. I'm hoping I can ramp back up to SOMEWHERE close to where I was when I went to school for music. I realize it may take years, but I think if I devote myself to it, I can achieve it. Honestly the hardest thing will be getting that dexterity back and remembering scales/fingerings/etc. Hopefully by the time I post next, I can report back with some success on that front!

Hobby coding-wise, I'm starting a new project using a new stack (for me): Java (Spring), Vue, and Postgres. My goal is to create a web application for Veterinarians offices for administrative use. This app will handle invoicing, communications with patients, store pet/owner data, store data regarding prescriptions, surgeries, etc., and probably more I'm forgetting. It's a lot of moving pieces, but it presents a fun challenge on both front-end and back-end, and frankly I've seen the most popular competition (Avimark) and it looks like dogshit. So my plan is to work on this for the foreseeable future, get an MVP up, snoop around my local area and see if anyone is interested in testing it out. This will be a long-term project, though. I have some ramping up to do with Vue as I have not used it since it was still in v1.0, so many things have changed!

Started watching Frieren and that shit kicks ass! The music, the animation, the art style. Only 4 episodes in, but it is easily top 5 anime.

JJK Season 2 has been fucking insane. It started off so crazy, I ended up binge reading the manga up until the end of the Shibuya Incident and holy shit. Seeing the Yuuji vs Choso fight animated was a fucking masterpiece!

Games-wise, I've been deep into WoW classic and FFXIV. FFXIV has always been my go-to, but lately I've been doing WoW and I love the customization that is possible within a class (priests, wars, etc builds can vary wildly and that's awesome!).

And I think that's all I've got! I've been drafting this post for the past 20 minutes-ish. I have to start winding down for today. This may be my longest post so far? Not sure, I'll compare it to my others word count-wise after this and confirm!

[c-40]

A-T-3 204 SunPalace - Rude Movements

We're rolling! Enduring British jazz-funk instrumental which is essentially two musicians improvising over a Roland CR78

Keyboard-player and producer Keith O'Connell and Burnley DJ turned studiogeek Mike Collins (Sun Palace) were unofficial members of Light Of The World. It's a shame I can't find more about Keith O'Connell, in the 1970s and 80s Collins and O'Connell seemed to have been thick as thieves playing and producing together. Mike Collins is different, before his death in 2018 he had had an online footprint, Collins had become a writer of music production books so, as a writer, to see he was blogging isn't that surprising. I love Rude Movements and I'd periodically search online for information about it, in 2011 Mike Collins wrote a blog post about it. He described the recording the track and sprinkled this with little tidbits like SunPalace had originally been called Rude Note and renamed by britfunk label Passion - I'm a record obsessive I lap this shit up. Before this blog post appeared I saw SunPalace as a faceless studio group, now they have names and are a little less obscure. I've just read a line saying Rude Movements came from outer space - it didn't, like all art it came from hard work and dedication, this gets missed from art and contributes to the work put into making the stuff being undervalued

Rude Movements is popular with a whole variety of DJs, and it's a 'what's this?' kinda track, so when it is included on the Nuphonic compilation David Mancuso Presents The Loft in 1999 it was a record I had been looking for. In Mike Collins blog post he lists appearances and remixes, Collins misses a few, Rude Movements is the basis for Groove Committee track Just Play The Music on NuGroove highlighting its proto-houseness. If anyone knows the vocal sample used on Just Play The Music Gert in touch, it's been driving me made for almost two decades

Kenny Dope included Rude Movements on Stop And Listen Volume 5 that he compiled for BBE. Sixteen years later in 2016 BBE put out a compilation of unreleased SunPalace/Mike Collins material. This is followed by The Lost Tapes EP on Chuwanaga, released just before Mike Collins' death. RIP

Fortunately for us Mike Collins did a few interviews promoting these recent releases. Here's an excellent interview in Music Is My Sanctuary https://www.musicismysanctuary.com/back-raw-lost-tapes-legendary-sunpalace-project

and another for Vinyl Factory https://www.musicismysanctuary.com/back-raw-lost-tapes-legendary-sunpalace-project

[eerna]

Just found out this fanfic I've been looking forward to rereading has been deleted ✌😟

[astralnexus]

I'm telling yous about it anyways. (I didn't expect this to turn into so much text, RIP) Saturday, we wake up, nothing seems to be out of the ordinary. In fact, we're excited because it snowed! Mum lets the dogs out to the garden to let them do their business when she noticed something was up about the cable that's supposed to like, I guess supply our router with an actual internet connection. It's been stretched/damaged to the point that some part of it looks slashed/cut through, and a wire has been exposed. The snow becomes relevant here because my mum didn't see any footprints in the snow, other than that of at least one cat's. Which makes sense, we have (unfortunately) a good number of roaming outdoor cats on my street. But the cable/wire itself, while outside, was too high for a cat to get caught in while just roaming our garden. However, despite the lack of human footprints in the snow (ignoring my mum's own footprints, of course), the cable/wire looks as if it's been deliberately tampered with just judging by the damage to it.

Interestingly, despite the damage, we still had functioning internet.

So of course, mum starts to fiddle about with the cable, seeing if she can get it back in place, and that's when we lose internet, with no way of getting it back. No putting the wire back in place nor resetting the router fixes it.

Next logical step is to phone our internet providers to see if we can get this fixed. My mum's a disabled woman with chronic pain, and I'm her carer. We both spend the majority of our time at home (when I'm not running the errands I need to for her such as getting our shopping done), and we both rely on the internet in our daily lives (I mean, this shouldn't surprise you guys with reference to me specifically, I'm on here for fuck's sake sdhjgfjhsd).

After a short time of being on hold, someone from our internet provider picks up and mum explains the situation, and the damage done to the cable. So the person on the other end says that they'll be "escalating our case" to ensure that they'll have an engineer sent out within the next 72 hours. (Given that it's now Tuesday as of writing this, you can probably imagine where this is going. But I'll get to that in a moment.) So we're like "okay, chances of them arriving at any point during a fucking weekend is. slim. especially when we live effectively so far out". (Hooray for Scottish countryside </3) which means we've got to have some sort of temporary solution to tide us over, since I'm on my PC a lot and my mum loves watching shows on like, Netflix or whatever on our TV. My aunt immediately rushes out to get us one of those portable 4G wifi things, and while it's slow as hell, it's mostly manageable.

Sure, we can't do nearly as much as we'd like (I just cannot play online games anymore; and both of us suffer trying to get videos/shows to load), but it's a solution.

Sunday arrives. No word from our provider or an engineer. Okay, we can excuse that, Sundays tend to just be One Of Those Days where businesses tend to take things slow & not prioritize anything. Another day of slow temporary internet.

Monday arrives. Still no word from provider or engineer. Annoying, but they did say "up to 72 hours", and there might be more dire cases out and about that require engineers elsewhere, which is understandable!

Which brings us to today, Tuesday. As of writing this it's been... Maybe roughly 78, 79 hours since the phone call? Still no word from our provider or an engineer.

I have... Issues with times being set and them not being upheld (*waves in very early-age autism diagnosis*), so I'm more than a little irked that absolutely nothing has been said or done.

Rightfully so, we're chasing the company up about it tomorrow since today's been an exhausting day.

The irritation on my part is just the fact that we were outright told by an actual human being on the phone that our case was being escalated so that it would be resolved within 72 hours... And that just did not happen. I would like to think that it was just a case of someone down the chain forgetting that we'd even phoned up in the first place, or them not noting down whatsoever that our case was supposed to escalate.

So yeah. Fingers crossed that phoning them up tomorrow prompts them to get an engineer out pronto, or they just so happen to send one out before we can phone them.

holy shit do you guys want to know the fucking time we (my mum and I) have been having, regarding our internet connection, since Saturday?

[senatushq]

NAME. Lain Solus AGE & BIRTH DATE. 30  & September 9th, 1991 GENDER & PRONOUNS. Male & He/Him SPECIES. Lycan PACK. Arno OCCUPATION. Unemployed FACE CLAIM. Rami Malek

BIOGRAPHY

( tw: abuse, drugs, needles, abduction, violence )  Was he born fucked up? Or was it the years of unrelenting abuse from both parents that caused his mind to fracture and break down? From the outside looking in, the Solus family was perfect. Lain's father was the chief of police in their small town just outside the big city, while his mother worked as a corporate lawyer in New York City. Maybe being raised by these two demons is what caused Lain to grow up resenting the so called criminal justice system, fueled by corruption and greed.  Lain saw himself as a shield, protecting his younger sister by always making himself the target of his parents' anger. 

  He was never meant to stay in Rome, but now he is trapped here. A holiday that was meant to be a break from his soul crushing office job at a company he hated. His ever present urge to turn to drugs as an escape did not stop when he made it to Italy, two days in and he was already sick from withdrawals. Lain had wandered to the bad side of Rome where he was approached on the street by three men. They looked like they belonged to the shady part of the city, perhaps a gang. 'You look rough, man. How 'bout you come with us, we'll fix you up,' One of them said as he was ushered towards a black SUV parked in a nearby alleyway. He felt a needle jab into his arm as he was pushed into the backseat. The ketamine they had injected into him caused him to fall unconscious.  When he awoke he was tied to a chair in a poorly lit basement, surrounded by hooded figures wearing ski masks. The contents of the backpack he was carrying was strewn out on the dirty floor: his wallet, phone, laptop, and knife.  They knew who he was. The room felt like it was spinning, panic was setting in as he heard one of them turn to the others and say, 'This guy's too valuable to let go. Turn him.'

The sound of a skeleton elongating, rearranging itself filled the damp basement that he was locked in. One of his abductors had begun to transform into some sort of creature. The last thing he remembered is screaming in agony as the creature’s fangs pierced the flesh of his right bicep before he blacked out from shock.  When he finally came to he had been dumped in the alleyway behind his hotel, the sun had just begun to rise.  He stumbled inside, his mind racing as he tried to recall the events from the night before.  The strange men that drugged him, took him away.  The creature and the sensation of its fangs piercing his flesh. Lain shattered the mirror in the bathroom with his fist when he saw the still bloodied animal bite on his arm. Fuck, it actually happened. Wait…what happened? What the fuck is happening? 

His recollection of the first time he transformed is fragmented at best. The same shady figures that had abducted him and robbed him of his humanity were there. Lain recalls them beating him, bloody knuckles becoming hardened claws as the moon hung full in the night sky. They were changing and so was he. His own creature was taking over, bodying the incoming assault before lashing out. The sleeping entity within him had awakened, distorted screams erupting from a bloodied maw. When the sun finally came up, Lain found himself amongst a pile of blood streaked, nude bodies. A man was speaking to him, from the way the others looked to him it was clear he was their leader. An ultimatum was delivered to Lain: join us or die. 

Enigmatic by nature, very few can say that they know the real Lain. A broker of stolen secrets, ripped from hard drives and from following online footprints. While he tries to convince himself what he is doing is for the greater good, however, there are times when he doesn't believe his own lie. A program running unsupervised in the background, executing commands to ensure the safety of the few he gives a fuck about. He's been with the Arno Pack for four years now, but still feels like a stranger just passing through. This is what Lain prefers, distance. Becoming a lycan only made his previously existing anger issues more difficult to maintain. The years he's spent in this city have done nothing but fuel the ever consuming rage within him.  Everyday he fights to control the darkness festering deep within him, an evil entity that craves violence and destruction. And sometimes, he loses. 

PERSONALITY

+ intelligent, courageous, resolute – detached, paranoid, apathetic

PLAYED BY CHLOE. CST. She/Her.

[going-green-ish]

Trying to live more eco-aware is all about trying to find the fixes that work for your life and your situation. A lot of the time, it comes down to compromise, especially when it comes to food. You have to eat and not everyone’s options are the same due to various reasons (health, finances, location, religion). Please take my posts with the pinch of salt (pun intended) required, they’re suggestive, not prescriptive. I’m aware that even though I try to make them accessible to the most people possible, they aren’t! More on this on my About page if you’re interested.

With that being said, continuing on the ✨f o o d✨ post, I’m going to focus on non-perishables in this one 🍝

Our current situation:

Non-perishables: We are now in the fortunate position of having two refill stores in town. Both of these are stores, cafes and community hubs wrapped up into one building, doing outreach talks, classes and more. One is a Terracycle drop-off point which has been infinitely useful for things like cheese packaging. Pasta, sugar, rice, granola, grains, oils, spices, herbs, nuts, even chocolate and sweets (though none of my personal favourites, RIP drumstick squashies) - these are all the things we can get from the refill stores and have made the biggest impact on our plastic consumption. Please feel free to zoom in on the photos to see all the goods available.

We still use supermarkets for most jars and tins and we still tend to get flour from the supermarket too, as it comes in a paper bag.

You can see our containers in one of the photos - it’s important to note that we have built up this collection of aesthetically pleasing jars over the last two years. It is an expensive and totally unnecessary route to go. Any container will work, some of ours are just jam jars that we have re-used. You can use Tupperware tubs, paper bags, anything that will hold whatever food it is you’re putting into it. We are in the position where we could afford to chip away at something we wanted aesthetically over the course of two years, but if you aren’t in a position to make it “look pretty” then that’s okay. It is a personal choice that we were lucky to be able to make, not a necessity.

Crisps and sweets are some things that are hard to come by in plastic-free packaging, though some brands are up and coming. I personally boycott them both due to this.

Our previous situation:

The refill stores have only opened up in the last 6 months so we were only able to buy from the supermarkets up until then. We tried to bulk buy online in large bags as well which seemed better on the one hand, for using less plastic. On the other, the carbon footprint associated with the delivery and shipping and all made it a decision that felt like it made no big impact at all. I am still working through a bag of bulgar wheat that I bought over a year ago though, so maybe it wasn’t the worst call in the world.

Things you can start doing today:

I’m going to post these hacks again here for those who won’t have seen my post on perishable foods. These have been spoken about a million times before, but here are some tips on what to do if you have no markets and no refill stores or are unable to access them for whatever reason.

1. Bring your own bags.

2. Buy the fruit and veg that isn’t in plastic whenever possible. Support your local greengrocer if you have one. Find substitutes for the ingredients that you can’t find plastic-free where possible.

3. Buy bigger bags of things you know you’ll use. Getting pasta? Grab the biggest bag they have. You use less plastic buying one 3kg bag than you do buying 6 x 500g bags. This obviously assumes you will be able to transport the bag and also store it at home. Not all supermarkets do large bags of less used staples, but rice, pasta and oats tend to be available in bigger batches.

4. Explore your options. Different supermarkets sell different sized bags of staples. Look around the shops near you.

5. Check the reduced section at the supermarket. These are items that will be going off soon according to their Best Buy dates. They will be disposed of in a huge food waste heap of plastic if they aren’t bought. A lot of things can survive a day or two or more past their Best Buy dates. For foods like meat, freeze whatever you won’t eat on the day you buy it and it should be fine.

6. Boycott what you can. Make substitutes where you can.

7. Buy glass, cardboard, paper or metal over plastic where you can.

8. If you’re veggie or vegan (or just cutting down on meat), avoid the ultra-processed stuff like Quorn etc. It’s not great for your health and it adds plastic. A lot of meat substitutes are soy based, which isn't planet friendly. Force yourself to think about what you’re cooking for yourself and see what alternatives you can do.

9. Frozen veg in plastic bags can be better than fresh veg in some situations. My example of peas from earlier is one. If I was to source fresh peas right now, they would likely be grown abroad with a large footprint behind them. Frozen peas I can buy in big bags and they’re British peas which were grown in the summer and frozen. In the summer, when local peas hit the market, I plan to bulk buy and freeze them myself, but in the meantime, this is the compromise.

10. Say no to the receipt whenever you can. The paper isn’t recyclable.

11. Buy bigger pots of things you know you’ll use before they go off. If you can’t find milk, yoghurts, cream and custard etc. in glass (very rare and often very expensive), then buy the biggest bottle or tub you think you’ll get through. Get one big tub of yoghurt and portion it out into smaller containers at home rather than a 6 pack of snap-pots. Get the big block of cheese.

12. See if you can re-use or up-cycle any of the plastic you do buy. Growing up, my sister was obsessed with coleslaw, and we had millions of little tubs lying around the house. My mum would use them to store dog treats in, little bits of electronics like spare fuses or small light bulbs, she’d use them to portion out treats to us in our school lunches, we used them as tubs for mixing paints in when getting artsy, she used them as starter pots for growing seeds etc. etc. There are lots of ideas out there if you look.