#rip Teldryn i like you a lot

[skyrim-forever]

See I’ve had an idea for a longer fic with a new LDB and Teldyrn which has a lot of themes I wanted to tackle but there are two things in the way:

1) it would be a slow-burn (ish, like not 200k but maybe 50k before they have feelings then slowly deal with it)

2) it would require that I put the Altmer men down and seeing as every time I put one down, I pick up another instead… this is very difficult 😔 Rotating Vingalmo in my head, want a lady to manipulate him while he thinks he’s manipulating her. I wanna be toxic, I wanna be cool like @dirty-bosmer and @theoneandonlysemla 😍

[thana-topsy]

1,6,8,11,17 for the ask thing!

Answered #6 in this post, and #8 in this post!

A fanon characterisation that you love

Oh, this took some thought. I went scrolling through my AO3 bookmarks for this one. But at the end of the day I have to go with my good friend @nientedenada's interpretations of Elenwen and Ondolemar in her Q&A style fic: "The Dominion is Here and They're Answering Your Questions" - her take deeply influenced the way I wrote both of these characters in "Hollow Men" as well as just helped to shape the Thalmor into people in my mind, as opposed to stick man villains.

11. Recommend a fic with an unusual/original headcanon or characterisation that you loved

Accidental Double Thalmor Post, but I'm going to have to recommend "Evil is Made of Us" by LeviathansEyes on AO3 for their masterful interpretation of the Thalmor. It's a purely OC-driven fic that's technically a sequel to a much longer fic, but I think it can be enjoyed on it's own easily enough. I had already finished up my own Thalmor-centric fic (Hollow Men) by the time I was reading their work, but I was still SHOOKETH by the end of that story. It was an unflinching look at how "evil" manifests itself, but also how, at the end of the day, people are just people. "Evil" is a concept within the framework of an institution.

17. Something you love that you don’t often share because you’re worried what others will think

Hmm... well, for the most part I'm pretty shameless with most of the stuff I share. I put myself out there in good faith, and generally expect that my work will be taked in good faith in return.

I think, maybe, if I want to be vulnerable for a minute, I'll admit that I tend to meme on Neloth publicly a lot to cover up just how deeply I've been impacted by writing his character. More below the cut, because this turned into a bit of a ramble...

I write Neloth as a low-empathy individual who arguably has a personality disorder (I won't throw around specific labels, as I don't think there is a specific one that I had in mind when going into his stories). My love for Neloth runs incredibly deep because I've been working with this fatally flawed, deeply damaged character who has built his own defences up so impossibly high over hundreds of years that even he is unsure of where his own walls end and the core of himself begins.

And then, to pair him with Teldryn, (which I think most people who only see the ship art or the memes think I just picked two characters and smashed them together for fun or because Hee Hoo Gay, which... isn't a lie, but it isn't the whole truth either). I write Teldryn as an endlessly compassionate person beneath the armor he's been forced to wear (literally and figuratively) over the years. The Nerevarine Prophecy left him questioning his own place in the world with a terrible case of impostor syndrome, and then the Red Year absolutely ripped out his heart (no pun intended??) and left him feeling that everything he did amounted to nothing. So he's cynical and jaded, he's hiring himself out as a merc, he has every reason to hate the gods and the life that's been thrust upon him. And then, for whatever reason, when I put him and Neloth in a room together for long enough, they somehow managed to crack through each others' shells. And it wasn't pretty at first, and, hell, it wasn't even romantic. But it happened. And sometimes, writing can be magic like that.

So here's Teldryn, a literal hero, giving this (by all accounts) terrible person a chance to show that he's capable of both receiving and giving love, actually. And that love can look a little different in everyone. And augH GOD, I HAVE A FUCKING CHARACTER TYPE, OK???

Anyways, tl;dr -- Neloth is actually more than just my special little meow meow babygirl blorbo, he is my shadow self, my darkest reflection, the opposite of everything I strive to be and everything I fear becoming. And I think, by writing him as still being worthy of love and companionship and joy, I'm writing to let myself know that I am also worthy of such things.

[changelingsandothernonsense]

HELLO :D

Can you share a link to a song and a snippet of your fic or a drawing/painting that fit perfectly together? ie -- every time this song shows up on shuffle, it reminds you of the scene you've written or a piece you've painted? (Can be Sydari or any of your other work!)

Feel free to tell us why these two things work so well!

HI! @paraparadigm also tagged me for this so we're answering for two!

So I like to turn on albums for drawing, listen to them loud and sometimes when I'm painting a song will match a work perfectly. I also start associating certain bands etc. with particular characters (they give of the same general vibes for lack of a better term). Under the cut, because it's long, there are pictures and track links.

So for Vivec's piece, I've been listening to a lot of Live.

Probably because they both like to rip from the Vedas at every opportunity.

For the last finished Teldryn piece I did I listened to a lot of Seether.

Both of these fit the piece and were listened to whilst drawing and painting.

Nerevar had a shit ton of Nirvana playing in the background.

The most recent Teldryn art in the works is just me listening to too much Rammstein again.

And if I keep up with this you'll get a whole playlist for every artwork since I started getting creative again XD

But generally speaking, I'll listen to one band over and over and over until I'm finished. I also like to blow out my ears when I do this so um....LOUD.

[venacoeurva]

For the couples prompt thingy-

3. What's their favourite thing to tease about each other?

10. What was their last big fight? Did they learn anythin from it?

14. What little things remind them of each other?

For either Teldryn/Wren or Dusk/Kharjo. Also no pressure to do/draw/write all of these! Whatever you want to do is fine.

HOW ABOUT BOTH! This is decently long due to my overly verbose ass so rip

3. Teasing

TeldWren: Did this on a prior ask.

DusKharjo: Dusk is first and foremost a mage, despite his build for a two-handed heavy armor setup, and Kharjo loves to claim people will see Dusk coming due to how huge he is, but they won’t see the magic part—because they’ll be incinerated while waiting for him to whip out a battleaxe. Kharjo is a bit of a scaredy-cat when not prepared for combat to go down sometimes (pun intended), and Dusk's sister sneaks up on him a lot and scares him because the last thing you expect to see in Skyrim is an Alfiq of all people and she loves a good prank. Dusk doesn't have much of a sense of humor, though and tends to take things literally and seriously, so his teasing is at a minimum.

10. Fights

TeldWren: I don’t think they fight so much as bicker featuring above mentioned teasing (specified in another ask) as a way to feel out a situation with each other while making their stances known, on top of them probably not voicing vulnerable feelings very often in a non-jokey/teasing/snarky way. If they don't bring whatever it is up, they most likely sit on it and mull it over. It's definitely come to a head before, most likely regarding how hands-on Wren can be in combat and makes a lot of risky moves and is willing to test new spells and potions on himself (lack of fear doesn't help this) as well as the danger of going out hunting as a werewolf, especially with werebears being an issue. Teldryn is also a very aggressive fighter in battle, so it's like the pot calling the kettle black. Eventually they decided they'd both calm tf down in battle a little unless absolutely necessary but that could have came to a head. Having Miraak as some additional help in fights also helped.

That said, I’m sure Teldryn doesn’t exactly appreciate Wren’s casualness surrounding his role as Nerevarine and all it entailed, though Teldryn doesn't take the prophecy and his role as the literal reincarnation and more a figure of convenience for everyone who fit the qualifications like Wren does, and probably has questions about how Wren really feels about the prophecy, role, ordeal, the gods, and experience and so on and likely doubts Wren is fully honest concerning it to himself or others. Teldryn is aware there's baggage and unprocessed feelings about the matter, it is extremely obvious, but he also knows it's not his place to try to push the issue despite it occasionally frustrating him with how much Wren is avoidant of thinking about it, especially when Wren gets cagey and sulky about it when asked.

DusKharjo: I don't think they'd have fights too much, either. Dusk is very patient and somewhat submissive on a verbal front, so he'd concede pretty quickly without changing his mind. That's not to say he doesn't stand up for himself, but odds are he won't find most things worth it to get his hackles raised over. I'd imagine they probably disagreed a lot about what should be done regarding the whole Dragonborn thing--shit's dangerous! Dusk might not come back and sometimes Kharjo can't come with! Sometimes Kharjo doesn't consider the high risk to be worth it for a land that doesn't like them and actively shuts Khajiit out. Once it was all over and the emotional highs settled he felt bad about being so dismissive over other people, but he's been in an Us vs. Them situation for a hot minute, and knows they'll continue to be.

14. Reminders

TeldWren: The obvious ones are daggers and chitin armor (and crustaceans of any kind), but they also reached a point that they'll see completely mundane things that reminds them of each other, especially the pale dusty blue Wren's robe is nowadays; Teldryn is sort of accidentally conditioned to have a split second of going "oh there he is" if he sees it on something Wren-sized. Wren also makes and uses superior mountain flower soap (based on keep it clean mod), so that and similar smells reminds him of him as well.

DusKharjo: Anything with mages, especially mages guild, brings Dusk to mind. He's arch-mage, so he kind of has that as an automatic association. Dawnstar reminds Dusk of Kharjo since that's where they first met each other (and Kharjo commented on how lucky he was to have such long fur). On the more mundane level like mentioned above, Dusk has an affection for somewhat minimalist gold jewelry, just very simple but sticks out really nicely against his fur. He also has a habit of stacking books in a sort of spiraling way instead of a clean stack, he’s not sure why, but Kharjo started noticing it everywhere now. Meanwhile, The smell of smoke has gotten an association with Kharjo, mostly as a result of them camping out a lot as well as encountering him with the merchants when he was guarding them.

[changelingsandothernonsense]

Arting ask on this round because I love hearing about the nuts and bolts behind your work. What styles and/or real world elements do you take inspiration from when you make fantasy art, and how do you put them in dialogue (this is totally where I'm fishing for an excuse to ask you about the Central Asian inspo for your Dunmer character design, but anything else you want to bring up too!) Is there a specific feeling you hope the viewer to get from your paintings? And finally, are your writing and your art in dialogue in some way, or are they totally separate processes?

Bonus: What do you not enjoy drawing/painting (if anything)?

Yes, an excuse for me to waffle on about process! Under a cut because this is long and full of pictures!

Stylistically I'm heavily influenced by Baroque, Roccoco, Pre-Raphaelite, and Romanticism. I rely quite heavily on chiaroscuro, I really love that luminous look that high-contrast darks and lights give to a work.

Girl with a Pearl Earring, Johannes Vermeer

Throwing in a well-known Vermeer because the contrast in this painting is what I want to achieve in my own.

Luminous, I really feel that coming through in this particular piece. I really love the contrast between dark and light. Plus it means I don't have to detail that damn back wall.

I also really love the movement in this painting.

The Swing, Jean-Honoré Fragonard.

Probably one of my favourite artworks!

Emma Hart as Circe, George Romney

I take a lot of portrait inspo from Rococo and classical court painters as well as a lot of influence from John Singer Sargent.

Portrait of Madame X and Lady Agnew of Lochnaw, John Singer Sargent.

I just like to play with light a lot! I ran into a problem when I was designing Sydari, I didn't want her wearing half the clothes that you find in vanilla. She's from Skyrim but doesn't feel like she belongs there. I wanted to give her a more dunmer-influenced style (this was like a year ago now when I got back into TES, also pre-including Teldryn in like everything).

Playing around in Morrowind and modding the heck out of Solstheim so that it looks like it's actually a part of Morrowind made me think about clothes...yep, I do that.

I noticed a lot of influences from Central Asia, East Asia, Sumer, Neo-Assyria and Akkad in the visual language of the game, as well as influencing a lot of the language, names etc. I decided to go with a general mix of these but most of my focus went towards a more Central Asian/Eurasian Steppe feel. The reason was these.

And this outfit

I loved those shoes, they were perfect in every way. The outfit was a good starting point too. Though this is costuming from a movie so I wanted to look for more traditional versions.

Fantastic!

And congratulations, I have a colour scheme!

More costuming but I fell in love with this one and have used it a few times.

I fully plan on utilising this style for Sydari's Skyrim arts.

I just sorta fish around for influences when I'm not working or painting. I use a lot of Bronze Age Levantine and Mesopotamian influences too, Vivec's jewellery is ripped from the Royal Cemetery of Ur.

Beads are murder! XD

So, my art is influenced by what I'm writing, or what I plan to write.

This one should take place towards the end of Part 1 of the fic. I made this way before I decided to bite the bullet and actually write anything.

And this should occur right before Diplomatic Immunity. Which is in Part 2.

I also create art for an upcoming tabletop game which is influenced by Bronze Age Mediterranean history (can't show it) but a lot of it is influenced by both historical dress and mythology from that time period.

As for feelings, I like to put a lot of small character-specific details in my art. I get a kick out of people commenting about what they notice. For example, I intend the Moon and Star ring to not actually fit Teldryn's finger (it's stuck) and I love that people have picked up on his vein attitude. I'm waiting on people to notice that the eyes move if you move your head. I do like that my art makes people happy. That makes me happy as well.

Bonus! I have a love/hate relationship with painting metal and jewellery in general. I get impatient with it and always leave it to last.

[changelingsandothernonsense]

Wip but it's my Thursday

Tagged by @saltymaplesyrup tagging @mareenavee ( I know you're getting space but I said I was still tagging) @thequeenofthewinter @archangelsunited @snippetsrus @gilgamish @tallmatcha @kookaburra1701 @thana-topsy @orfeolookback @caliblorn Low effort 0 expectation, I know there's a lot of chaos running around but feel free to join in if you like. I have been procrastinating on study because I'm changing my major so I am out of steam on that. So I have um...too many wips in both the art section and the writing section. We have been doing SAD WARS and that means a lot of art and a lot of writing. Like I think I wrote 30K in a month XD ART First I have the Erra render that I've been working on. He's coming along.

Some Josh about to fuck up some Reavers. IDK I kinda just wanted to draw the Dwarven toe prosthesis which will be more visible if I ever line this lol. under the cut for the rest!

Pic of Yani too idk. Okay, Writing!

Going to post 3 snips because I've been jumping around wips. First is a section from Mortal Chill

Corprus? But…how? I stood and moved to try to pull the covers off of him, I don’t know what I was really trying to do here. I could not remove them myself. I- I guess I wanted those bandages removed so that I could see for myself. The tumours, the growths that twisted and deformed the body. The broken bones the-

Maera he was so thin, was it the wasting kind? All I could remember were stories of mad creatures that would come screaming out of the southern ash wastes at night. That they had a madness, that they ate the cursed flesh of their brethren. The Urshilaku would warn us every few years of another outbreak of blight. That it had started breaching the Ghostfence.  My tribe did not much care for such things. The lore of our ancestors meant little amongst the Erabenimsun. Our Ashkhans were absolute rulers, our focus war and glory. The news of blight usually fell on deaf ears. Our Wise Woman’s warnings would often go unheeded. It was why my father had made that attempt on old Ulath-Pal’s life after all. Some sort of pact between my kin, the Ensirhaddon who bore most of the tribe’s farseers and mages and the Urshilaku and the Ilaba'andul-Sul family, who were the ruling clan of the northern wastes. It failed, and my kin were systematically executed one by one. I had fled the night my twin sister had her throat cut in her sleep. I was fifteen and utterly alone.

I had run into someone afflicted with blight somewhere around Piran. The wasting the growths. She was practically mad as she lashed out at me. I still have no idea how I had gotten away in the end. Maybe it is because I am forgetting so many things but I know that creature haunts me, Kiang.

Is this really to be my son’s fate?

You shuddered, turning to stroke our son’s cheek. Forty-six years since he was twelve. I guess I was trying to do the sum in my head, had never been good at that, resorting to counting the individual sections of my fingers instead. Three, six, twelve-

“Fifty-eight, Yani. He turned fifty-eight yesterday-I,” you let out a breath, shuddering once again, “I tried to summon you yesterday but- I don’t know why it didn’t work or-“

I couldn’t believe it, the last time I had heard your call and walked through the flames he was still a child, barely twenty-two! You reached for me, your hands on either side of my ruined face. Torn and beaten from the rubble that had entombed me. My ear missing, torn at some point. My face ripped from the razor edge of debris that I had not seen. My throat slashed to such a point that the grizzled meat was visible. It is why I cannot speak.

I was only thirty-one when I had died, barely grown myself. Maera I’ve missed so much.

The second is from Ahzidal's Descent

“Greave,” she held out her hand again, “Teldryn I need it to keep the splint in place.”

He grumbled a little as he reached out behind him, handing her the light, chitinous plate. The surface was a marbled green and beige that dully reflected the sunlight. It had something carved into its underside. Something in what looked like Dunmeris but she honestly couldn’t tell. Sydari untangled the netch leather straps and placed the chitin on top of his shin.

“Tel, I’m going to have to lift this again,” she said as she lightly prodded his shin.

“Do I have to wear it?” He groaned, scratching the back of his head, “I’m pretty sure that’s what irritated it in the first place. Thing was fine this morning.” He shrugged.

Sydari exhaled slowly. Of course, he’d blame the only thing that was supporting his leg! It couldn’t possibly be the fact that he chose to scale this dune! She lifted his leg and started securing the chitin greave to his shin, maybe a little too roughly.

“N'chow! Now I know you did that on purpose!” Teldryn protested, he began to fiddle with the leather strap of his goggles.

“You don’t think that maybe you aggravated your leg by climbing up a cliff?” Sydari pinched the bridge of her nose, “You didn’t even bother to properly brace it!”

“It was fine this morning when I took it off,” Teldryn hunched over his left knee and exhaled sharply, “Thing interferes with my prosthesis, I told you. Plus, I really felt fine this morning, Sydari.”

“You’re not supposed to be taking it off yet Teldryn,” Sydari began to search her pack again, pulling out another small vial, this one filled with a red viscous liquid that leaned violet in the sunlight. Tinged by the minuscule edition of Sleeping Tree Sap. It would dull the pain but make his comedown from the stamina tonic a lot harsher.

“What’s that?” Teldryn asked.

Sydari shook the bottle a little, “It dulls pain.”

Teldryn tilted his head, “Didn’t I just take one of those?”

Sydari shook her head, “No, this one is a bit different, stronger,” she handed him the glass vial, “Just don’t drink all of it, it contains a sedative.”

Teldryn raised an eyebrow, “What kind of sedative?”

Sydari sighed, “It’s a type of sap from this tree in Whiterun Hold, it’s um…”

Teldryn chortled, “Say no more hla’Miluth, say no more,” he raised the small bottle to his lips and took a small sip, “tastes like shit though,” he smiled and handed the mostly full vial back to her.

“You think everything does,” Sydari replied as she replaced the stopped and returned the vial to her pack.

She stood up and offered Teldryn her hand, “Come on, let's get you back to the Netch.”

“Aww come on Miluth!” Teldryn frowned, “It’s just over this ridge, we’re so close. Why go back now?”

Sydari pulled her pack over her shoulder and offered him her hand again, “Because you’re not making it up that hill, not in your wildest dreams.”

And finally a bit from Kagrumez Gauntlet

I took a few steps back, dagger still readied…just in case. The specter reached out.

“It is okay, Dumu, I mean you no harm,” there was an echo to his voice as well, as if he was both far away and far too close. I wonder if that is why he never spoke last time.

“Wha-“I stammered, I had no idea what any of this was.

He held up a hand and shook his head, “Does your Ata know you have that?”

I slowly lowered your dagger, putting it away. I shook my head at the ghost.

He sighed, “Nervyna, these places are death traps for the best of us. You cannot be messing around in here.”

I pouted, “Ata said he’d take me down here to help with his research. We were supposed to be here together but he ditched me with my cousins and came here himself,” I folded my arms, “It’s not fair!”

The ghost shook his head, his hair almost floating around him, “Oh Dumu, I am sure he had good reason. It is a new place, yes?”

I nodded, “That’s why we were going to come down here together,” I told the ghost, “then all of a sudden he decides ‘No! It’s time to go visit your cousins!’” I mimicked your gruff tone as best as I could. It made the ghost laugh.

“Ah, I think I know what is wrong, Nervyna,” the ghost smiled, “Your Ata found that down here, I do not think he wants one of these ambushing the two of you.”

I looked back at the metal mer that lay battered and broken, melted to the floor. Did he see this thing and run? I sighed, “So he saw this thing and ran away? It’s dead. Creepy but it’s dead.”

The ghost approached the broken hunk of metal and knelt over it, “Nervyna, your Ata does not run from these things. This is his doing.”

I walked over to where the ghost was kneeling, standing on the opposite side of the twisted metal mer, “how would you know that? I don’t even know who you are?”

The ghost furrowed his brow or tried to, the long scar that cut across his face seemed to make it hard, even in this form, “Nervyna, I have known your Ata for a very long time. More than he would probably care to admit. I know how he attacks these things. I have seen him do it many times. Dumu I know your Ata took down this metal mer because I do not know anyone else who can melt this kind of metal.”

I stared at the thing’s melted surface. It reminded me a little too much of how an ice mer melts during the early spring thaw. Like the ones that you would build with me whenever snow fell on the mountains to the north of the island. You hated the cold but you would take me up there every year so that we could make one. This wasn’t making any sense.

“I haven't seen Ata so much as take down a slaughterfish let alone whatever this thing is,” I stood and stomped back towards the stairs that lead further into the ruin.

“Nervyna! Wait!” the ghost called back as I descended the stairs. I replenished the light I had summoned with some of my magicka, just like you showed me. ‘Imagine you can make the light stronger with just one touch,’ I had finally started getting the hang of doing that.

The ghost reformed in front of me as I entered a colossal chamber. The whole place buzzing and whirring with that magical steam you always talked about. He frowned at me, bow gripped tightly in his ethereal fist. 

“Please do not run off like that. I can not protect you if you move too far away from me,” he cautioned, though his tone was even and calm, I could tell there was a slight hint of annoyance there.

“I never asked for your protection, ghost. I don’t even know who you are,” I grit my teeth, I never summoned any ancestor ghost. I don’t even know that spell yet!

The ghost blinked at me before sighing, “That is my fault, I forget that you do know what I look like. I am Erra, I was-“

“You’re Aya’s uncle!” I interrupted, I had heard of him before. I had heard of him a lot, in fact. You had called him by the same words that you used for Alma.

For a brief moment, I thought I saw the ghost frown. He smiled again and nodded, “Yes, that is it.”