#righteous hand of god ⚔️

[beepbeepdespair]

visiting the izzy hands tag every morning is like walking across a battlefield with a smoothie and just watching shit go down as bullets whizz past your head

[out-of-heaven-and-hell]

Abelia tag dump

[halla-hunts-the-wolf]

Lavellan Tells a Story

On their way to track rogue apostates, Inquisitor Lavellan tells a story to his companions.

Featuring: Mahvir Lavellan, Dorian Pavus, Varric Tethras, and Cole!

Length: Short & Sweet.

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"There is a story among the Dalish," Inquisitor Lavellan says as he walks amongst clefts in the hills. His years of outdoor experience allow him to avoid rock falls and loose stones, while his companions stumble and slip behind him.

"Right." Dorian chides, his foot catching on rough ground and causing him to stumble into the elf's back. "Now seems like the perfect time for stories."

"It's always the perfect time for a story, Sparkler." Varric fires back, clinging to the back of Cole's leathers so the young boy could guide him safely down the path.

Mahvir reaches back with a gloved hand to steady his mage, and Dorian takes it as an opportunity to draw his staff. The Tempest was a dangerous weapon, pillaged from a demon-infested temple within the Western Approach, but today it would be nothing more than a walking stick.

"Very well," he huffs, missing the warmth of his lover's hand as it moves away. "You lot have your fun, while I try not to die."

They continue their descent, creeping amongst the hills in the Hinterlands. This was the first place the Inquisition had gained influence and yet the war continued.

Rogue Templars in the area clashed with apostates who refused to join the Inquisition. Both sides thought they were fighting for a higher cause when in reality, they were putting innocent people out of their homes and killing themselves out of pride.

"So the story," Mahvir continues as his gaze maps out safe routes down the rocks. "The Goddess Andruil catches Fen'harel hunting her Halla in the forest and demands satisfaction. As Fen'harel is tied to a tree to be held hostage for a night, he is sentenced to serve Andruil in bed for a year and a day-"

"That's not as righteous of a punishment as I'd expect from a God." Varric comments.

"I suppose we all have our vices." Dorian agrees.

"While Andruil is setting up her camp for the night, a forgotten one, known as Anais, flew into her camp. He claimed that Fen'harel had also wronged him and he demanded satisfaction as well." 

"This is a violent story," Cole remarks.

"Most of them are." Varric soothes.

"They decide to duel for their right to Fen'harel, while he watches from his place against the tree. He eventually calls out to Anais and tells him of a weak point within Andruil's armor. Anais heeds the wolf's advice, and as Andruil falls to the forest floor, he turns to regard Fen'harel..."

Dorian chuckles lowly, despite himself. "Turning your back on an enemy? A novice mistake for anyone."

"Anais didn't see Andruil rise from her place nor her arrow coming until it protruded from his abdomen. Both now unfit for battle, they sit beside the camp's fire.  As they are forced to tend to their wounds, Fen'harel chews upon his binds, and escapes."

There is a moment after the story ends where the only sound is their footfalls, the soft clanking of Mahvir's armor, and fighting in the distance.

"A lovely story, Amatus." Dorian finally says, skidding down a few feet as his staff dislodges a small boulder. "That Fen'harel is a tricksy bastard."

"You think we are like Fen'harel?" Cole offers, there is something hidden within his voice, but the other three men easily dismiss it as his usual touch of whimsy.

"The Inquisition, yes." Lavellan's voice carries softly and lacks an echo among the the rocks surrounding them. A fresh cloud of smoke, caused by an invasive fire, had caught his attention.

His ears twitch.

After another moment of silent consideration, he continues. "We make enemies on all sides and maneuver our way out of danger. The mages and templars, Celene and Gaspard, The Grey Wardens and Corypheus..."

"We do end up in the middle of things quite a bit, don't we?"

"I'm half afraid I'll start praying to Fen'harel before this business is done," Mahvir says. He seems genuinely bothered by this admittance. A weakness shared among friends. "The Creators know that I could use some of his cunning, in the days to come."

"Why do you need his when you have your own?" Dorian challenges. He knew the Inquisitor well enough by now to recognize when the elf was on the hunt.  He'd already prioritized a plan, by the time the fire's smoke had reached the sky. "The plan?"

"We're going to drive the mages' into their fire and smoke them out. Once it enters their lungs, they'll lose focus, and we can handle them quietly."

"I suppose I'll be dispelling anything they throw at us," Dorian says, already thinking of the smoke and ash that will be clinging to his robes.

"While Cole and I box them in?" Varric finishes off, already pulling Bianca free and fondling her trigger.

"I'm not equipped for stealth," Mahvir announces. Leaning back on his heels just for his armor to creak and his grappling chain to rattle. "I will keep watch and warn you of any reinforcements. Keep an ear out for a robin's call."

"A whistle, amidst flames and fighting?" Dorian sounds dubious.

"I will hear it," Cole says, his face shadowed by the brim of his hat.

"If we can take the mages out quickly, we can take the Templars by surprise. I'll join the battle then, and hopefully, this road can be open for travel and trade within the next few days."

"Ah yes, the Inquisition's most important duty; returning commerce to Thedas one hovel at a time."

They reach the base of the hills just as Dorian finishes speaking, and Mahvir steps out to hide amongst the trees that had not been struck or burnt down by some miracle. "Get the job done here Dorian, and we may see less of Fen'harel in the future."

The mage's staff begins to glow- its decorative skull rattles with ambient magic- as its sunken eyes begin to gleam with a faint purple light. "As you say, Inquisitor."

The apostates do not live long enough to see their fire scourge the Hinterlands, nor do they get the satisfaction of seeing their enemies struck down in their stead.

The first caravan of the season travels down this war-torn road not two days later.

While the Inquisition and Fen'Harel remain, as always, in the middle of things.

[beepbeepdespair]

(we're both dodging spoilers until s2 arrives somewhere we can watch it, no spoilers please <3)

[beepbeepdespair]

breaking news: will anyone help this sexually frustrated man? witnesses say izzy is causing problems and sulking because no one will fuck him. "jesus christ" says ship's crew. more at 11