#right under the ads for student sobriety

[scientistswishingwell]

I want to be able to enjoy something as purely and unapologetically as all the nice moms on the train playing candy crush on their iPads.

[songtoyou]

Epiphany - Part Four

Paring: Luke Crain x Female Reader

Chapter Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 3,080

Warnings: Talks of drug use and recovery. Swearing and self-doubt.

Description: Life has never been easy for Luke Crain. After the death of Nell, Luke realizes that he needs to make some changes. He decided to stay in Massachusetts and attend rehab. He was determined to remain on his path of sobriety. When you get assigned to be Luke’s sponsor, it opens a new door of possibilities that neither you nor Luke expected.  

A/N: I am sorry that it has taken me so long to write and upload this chapter. I have not been feeling so good since I posted that last chapter. Lots of anxiety keeping me from doing things such as write. Anyway, here is the new chapter. I wanted to write about Aunt Janet. I felt that the show didn’t really tell us much about her except that she took care of the kids after the events of Hill House in 1992. 

Note: Italics represent the past or past conversations.

Feedback is wonderful. It is nice knowing if people are actually liking this fic.

I do not permit my work to be posted on any other site without my permission.

Tag list: @morningstar09

~Aunt Janet’s House – 2002 ~

“Luke! Hurry up, or you’re going to be late for school!” Aunt Janet yelled up the stairs.

“Luke! Come on!” exclaimed Nellie. “I’ll go check on him.”

“Thanks, sweetie,” said Janet. Her youngest nephew often worried her, especially since it was the tenth anniversary of Olivia’s death this past summer. Janet started to notice that Luke became more recluse and stayed up in his room. The only person Luke would interact with was Nell, which was not surprising to Janet. The twins only managed to become closer as they got older.

What really began to cause Janet to worry was catching Luke steal money from her purse. She asked him what he was doing and why he was stealing. However, Luke could come up with a pretty decent lie about needing money to buy flowers for Olivia’s grave.

In truth, it was to buy beer. Luke had taken a liking to the barley and hops beverage. It helped him feel numb and not worry about anything. Unfortunately, Luke had one too many beers last night and was paying for it. Nellie found him headfirst in the toilet regurgitating the contents of his late-night beer binge.

“Eww, gross. What is wrong with you?” asked Nellie. She pinched her nose as the stench of Luke’s puke was overwhelming.

“What does it look like! I’m sick! Tell Aunt Janet that I can’t go to school.”

“Luke, come on. You have missed too many days already. They’re going to hold you back another year if you miss any more school,” Nellie argued while searching through Luke’s drawers and closet for clothes.

Luke managed to get up from the bathroom floor when he felt it was safe. He rinsed out his mouth to relieve it from the after taste of throw-up.

“Come on! Get cleaned up and put these on,” ordered Nell and shoved Luke’s clothes in his arms.

Luke groaned and plopped down on his bed. “Nellie…I can’t go to school today. I’m too sick.”

“Well, your sickness is also making me sick, but I managed to get up and ready for school today. Now move it! I’ll keep bugging you if you don’t move. I’m not going to let you fall to the waste side. Do you hear me, Luke?”

“Fine! I’m getting dressed!” Luke yelled to get Nellie off of his back.

No matter what occurred between them, neither twin could ever hate the other. They were each other’s best friends and closest confidante. They had to be. Especially now that they were the last two left in Aunt Janet’s care. As soon as their eldest siblings turned eighteen, they hightailed it out of Janet’s house for college.

Luke slowly trudges down the stairs with his backpack slumped on his shoulders.

“Hey, there he is,” greeted Aunt Janet. “Would you like some breakfast, sweetie?”

“No! No breakfast,” Luke replied with his head on the table.

However, Nellie pushed a plate of dry toast in front of him and told him to at least nibble some bites. “Here’s some orange juice. Take slow sips. The last thing we need is you spewing junks in the toilet again,” whispered Nellie while Aunt Janet was in the kitchen. She would not out that her brother was hungover. That last thing Nell wanted was to cause any more trouble for Luke.

She knew why Luke did not want to go to school, and it had to do with, what else, their family. Some of the kids at school saw Luke as an easy target to bully and terrorize. The topic of their “messed-up” family was their go-to whenever they wanted to antagonize Luke. Nell often found herself a target for bullies but could stand up for herself a lot better than Luke.

With the anniversary of Olivia’s death, the bullies made it their mission to torment Luke about growing up without a mother or father. They would push him against the lockers, knocking his glasses off his face, and trip him in the hallways. It was too much to handle, and Luke was tired.

Leaning back in his chair, Luke re-read the words on the computer screen. His instructor loved the essay he turned in and advised him to expand upon it. Luke pushed aside his reservations about exploring his past traumas through writing. It was a better outlet for Luke to help cope and tackle past stressful life experiences.  Not only did Luke have support from his instructor and you, but his counselor at Banyan Treatment Center, Rob, also supported the idea of using expressive writing as a way to heal.

Luke could not deny that writing helped clear his head. Something he learned while being in rehab back in Los Angeles. It allowed him to face things from his past that he had pushed aside. However, Luke had some reservations about how much he should…open himself up when it comes to sorting out his past events. There were still things that Luke was not quite ready to face.  

Oh my God!" exclaimed Luke. "It has been a month and a half since we have seen that movie. It would be best if you got over the ending. It happened. There is nothing you can do about it."

"I can't, Luke. It was total bullshit!" you yelled back furiously.

Luke calmly said your name to get your attention. "Listen to me; we don't even know if Steve Rogers actually stayed back in time to be with Peggy. He may have…"

"Then where did he go? Huh? He just up and left his friends who he just got back. Steve and Peggy never even dated! They kissed, that is it. Yes, there was an attraction that each had for one another, but that was all it ever way…an attraction. They are a 'what could have been' type of couple—the movie completely throughout all of Steve's character development…right out the window. Whatever, I'm over it," you stated, throwing your hands up in defeat.

You and Luke were driving to his Aunt Janet's house for a visit. He mentioned to you about wanting to visit his aunt for some time but had not gotten around to it. You were surprised that he asked you to come along.

Luke mentioned that Shirley and Theo were too busy to come with him and did not want to go alone. You agreed on the condition that he drive since Aunt Janet lived an hour and a half away from Wilmington. Lately, your anxiety has been going up and down, so you were not comfortable being at the hands of the wheel, especially on the freeway. You did not understand why you had such anxiety these past few days. You chalked it up to being nervous about your final project at school. The assignment was to create a self-portrait. It should be simple enough, but of course, the art instructor wanted students to "think outside of the box" and not have it be a regular standard portrait of themselves.

Each draft you came up with was of you in some state of turmoil, whether it be you depicted on a gurney getting resuscitated from your heroin overdose or lying in a pool of your own vomit. You could not understand why this particular project was giving you such a hard time. You were three-years sober. You had a steady job and gone back to school. Your relationship with your parents was better than ever. So, why the thought of a self-portrait brought upon negative thoughts about oneself?

You mentioned your troubles to Luke, and he was very sympathetic. While he was now 206 days sober, there were times where he felt…like the achievement did not mean much.

"What do you mean by that?" you asked him while on the way to Aunt Janet's house.

"It's just…this isn't my first rodeo when it comes to recovery," Luke began to say. "There is always this little voice in the back of my head that…"

"That it is only temporary. I have that little voice too. I'm not too fond of that little voice. Three years sober, and there are times where I still feel like a total failure. I shouldn't, but…I can't help it," you revealed to Luke honestly.

"Thankfully, there is another little voice in the back of my head that gives tells me that I'm doing a good job now and then. It's just that positive little voice has been a tad quiet lately," you added.

Luke could pick up on the little defeatist tone in your voice, and he did not like it. You immediately felt his worry about you. "Hey," you said to get his attention and placed a hand on his arm. "Don't worry about me, okay. I'm fine. I have my fears like every recovering addict. It is nice to talk to someone about it, particularly someone who understands, you know. That helps."

Silence soon filled the car, but it was not awkward. You never had awkward or uncomfortable silences with Luke. For some reason, Luke was one of the few comforting presences in your life. Regardless of all of the hardships he has gone through in his life, he offered a sense of hopefulness. With his 6'3 stature, Luke really came off more like a gentle giant. It was like he did not view himself as this grown tall man, but probably still felt like that little kid hiding under the bed from the "Tall Man" at Hill House.

"Luke," you said to get his attention. "Are you happy?"

"No," he replied immediately, then clarified when he saw the look you gave him. "I mean, am I happy that I am over 200 days clean, then yes I am, very much so. But…I don't know, there is a small part of me that is scared to be happy…to be content in fear of something going wrong."

When Luke pulled the car into Aunt Janet's driveway, the older woman immediately came out of the house to greet her youngest nephew.

"There he is, my little boy," she said and wrapped her arms around Luke, which he reciprocated.

"Hi Aunt Janet, how are you?"

"I'm fine, darling. How have you been?" Aunt Janet asked, pulling away to get a good look at Luke. He looked much better than he did at Nell's funeral.

"Good. I'm doing good. Everyone is doing…fine," Luke replied, then turned towards you. He introduced you as his friend and not his sponsor to his Aunt, which kind of surprised you.

"So nice to meet you," said Aunt Janet taking your hand. She motioned for you both to follow her into the house. "I hope you both are hungry. I made an array of sandwiches and salads for lunch. Luke, I also made your favorite…chocolate pecan pie bars."

"Thank the Lord because he was hoping you would make them on the car ride here. It was all he talked about?" you teased.

"Once you have one, then you will know what I am talking about," Luke responded with a smile.

Aunt Janet lead you both into the kitchen.

"Can I use the bathroom to freshen up?" you asked her.

"Oh yes, dear. It is down that hallway, the first door to the right," told Aunt Janet as she showed you where to go. "Luke, you should probably wash your hands first," she added.

"Yes, Aunt Janet," he said and went to the sink to wash his hands.

When you were no longer in earshot, Aunt Janet stood beside her nephew and said, "Your friend seems really sweet."

Luke could not hold back his smile, "Yeah, she is genuinely nice. She's fun to hang out with. We have a lot of the same interests. Shirley and Theo have met her as well," he mentioned and shared that both of his sisters really liked you.

Aunt Janet turned her head to see if you came if you were around the corner. When you were not, she leaned over to Luke and said, "Very pretty too. She'd make a lovely…"

"Aunt Janet, she is just a friend. I can't date her anyway. She's…they say you shouldn't date anyone while still in recovery."

"I'm so proud of you," Aunt Janet said as she placed the food on the kitchen table. "You are becoming the man I always knew you could be."

Luke would be lying to himself if he denied that there was some form of attraction that he had for you, both physically and emotionally. He knew that the feelings that he was slowly developing towards you could be considered wrong. You were his sponsor…a dedicated one at that too. It would not be right for him to act on any attraction he may have for you—no doubt, that you would not reciprocate them, which would be disappointing to Luke.

"Better to just suffer in silence," Luke thought to himself.

"Don't you want a girlfriend? A family of your own someday?" asked Aunt Janet.

"Yeah…maybe. Someday. I'm just learning to take care of myself without drugs in my system. There is no way I can be a dedicated father or husband to anyone… at least not right now. I am still a work in progress," Luke admitted to his aunt. "I do like…" But Luke stopped when he heard your footsteps approaching.

"Oh, my goodness. The pictures on the wall… I'm assuming the little kid with glasses is you, Luke."

The three of you sat around the kitchen table with your plates stacked with delicious food.

"Luke was the absolute cutest kid. He had a little lisp as well," Aunt Janet shared. "I have more pictures of the kids if you would like to see them?"

"Yes," you replied ecstatically.

"No," Luke disputed, "We are in the middle of eating."

"We can multitask. Let's see those pictures," you asserted gleefully while Aunt Janet got up from the table.

With a belly full of food, the three you were now sitting outside on the patio, drinking tea, and eating Aunt Janet's yummy chocolate pecan pie bars. You already looked through three photo albums that showed Luke and his siblings' younger years.

"I wanted to take as many pictures as I could of the kids. They hated it, but I told 'em they would appreciate it when they got older," expressed Aunt Janet. "Here's a picture of Nell on her wedding day. That's her husband, Arthur. Sadly, he passed away a couple of months after they got married. But…they are together now."

You looked at the photo of the young couple. Nell looked very much like her older sisters and her mother. You could tell that there was a kindness about Nell just by looking at the picture. She was the type of person to go above and beyond for her family and even strangers. Luke would say that Nell was just that type of person to care about everyone, no matter who they were or where they came from.

Luke did share with you that one of his biggest regrets was not going to Nell's wedding. He said that he tried, but Shirley told him to leave. Luke said that it was for the best and that he was in no right state of mind to support his twin the way she deserved on her wedding day.

Thankfully for Luke, Nell understood and held no hard feelings. She never did when it came to her other half.

Aunt Janet began to sniffle, and when you looked up from the photo, you saw the older woman dab her eyes with a napkin. Out of instinct, Luke grabbed his Aunt's tiny hand and squeezed it with his as a way to show support. Just as he was Aunt Janet's little boy, Nell was her little girl. She was the one to raise them, take care of them, and guide them into adulthood.

None of the Crain children were perfect; they were far beyond that notion. However, there is no denying that if they did not have Aunt Janet take care of them and love them, they could have been worse off. Luke had the overwhelming feeling of guilt encompassing him at the moment as Aunt Janet tried to hold back her tears.

You instantly looked up at Luke. You could feel his sense of guilt towards the way he treated his aunt while growing up. He looked over at you. It was a silent conversation you both were having between one another. You mouthed, "Do you want me to go?" so he could have this moment alone.

With a shake of his head, 'No,' Luke spoke up to get his aunt's attention. "Aunt Janet…I'm sorry. I'm sorry for…for all the Hell I put you through while living here. You did so much for Nell and me, and the others that I…shit all over it. I stole and lied to you like it was my job. You deserved better. I just want you to know that…me getting hooked on drugs…well…that was…no matter what had happened…it was my choice to go down that path of destruction. I love you, Aunt Janet, and I am so appreciative of the sacrifices you made for my siblings and me. I wish that I weren't such a fuck up…"

"Oh sweetheart, no, you are not a…fuck up," Aunt Janet interjected and continued, "Not at all. I love you so much that…I would do anything for you, you know that, right? Your childhood is in the past. It happened. It is a part of you. The fact that you are continuing to remain clean after all that has occurred…well, that is something you should be most proud of. It shows that you are dedicated to your sobriety and turning your life around. No one said this process was easy, but you stayed the course and continued to make good decisions. As I told you earlier, you are becoming the man I always knew you could be."

"Now, I'm going to cry," Luke giggled as he dabbed his eyes with a napkin. "I didn't mean to turn this into a sob fest, but I wanted you to know that I'm sorry for what I put you through and that I love you very much, Aunt Janet."

Aunt Janet emerged from her seat to wrap her arms around her nephew and kiss the top of his head. It was a sweet moment to witness.

[cupidmarwani-archive]

Noah

crickett: so i know were all having a rough time but

crickett: i was going over noahs chart on morning rounds and had a thot

crickett: pneumo-noah

Nat: Do you realize how not funny that is when he can’t breathe on his own right now?

crickett: noah would think its funny

crickett: @April tell him what i said hell think its funny

April: I’m not waking him up for that. He needs his rest. 

FreeWilly: How is he doing btw

April: He’s been on a nebulizer since he was admitted and he mostly sleeps. They’re working on a cocktail for his pneumonia and they haven’t found something that works, but it’s only been a few days so I have hope. They’re talking about draining the fluid manually if they don’t make progress soon because he’s having a hard time keeping sats up.

connor: yeah update on that? we’re planning on draining his lungs in a few hours

April: No one told me that.

connor: i told you

connor: and ava was just on her way to talk to you about it

Other Bekker: it feels weird to talk about a patient

April: He’s my brother

Other Bekker: fair point

crickett: is he using a feeding tube rn

April: Not yet, but probably soon.

April: @crickett Do not cook for him he won’t be able to eat cajun

crickett: cajun is the perfect food for all occasions coward

Ethan Choi: @crickett We all know you’re aware he can’t eat it and I understand that you’re having a hard time with this, but there are other ways to show him (and April) support. Right now, the joking isn’t helping anyone. This is a serious situation and you need to treat it as such.

[crickett has left the chat]

Other Bekker: @EthanChoi that was really harsh.

-

Nat: Have you eaten today?

April Sexton <3: We had breakfast together this morning

Nat: That was yesterday hon

April Sexton <3: Are you sure?

Nat: I’ll bring by takeout from that place you like down the block, and Owen made cookies for you and Noah. See you in an hour?

April Sexton <3: You’re the best.

-

Bekker: Great news everyone, we’ve managed to drain some of the fluid from Noah’s lungs! We are however still concerned with the initial infection and the fact that it could build up again. As of right now, he’s still on the neb but his sats are looking really good!

FreeWilly: !! 

Ethan Choi: That’s really good!

April: He’s awake rn and probably will be for a few minutes if anyone wants to visit

connor: ill send up crockett

Dr. Lanik: Speaking of, why did he leave the chat?

Other Bekker: bc Ethan was an asshole to him in front of all the people he cares about

Other Bekker: lmao

Queen Elsa: Why can’t we all just be nice to each other?

Maggie<3: ^

[Dr. Lanik has added “crickett” to the chat]

crickett: the band is back together

April: Noah thinks your joke was funny

crickett: VINDICATION

April: Come see him before he’s out again?

crickett: already in the elevator

crickett: ill stay with him. go home and get some rest in a real bed

Maggie<3: He has a point, you’ve been here for days. I’ll drive you

Nat: I’ve got it @Maggie<3

April: I’m an adult you know

Nat: Let me take care of you

-

Connor Rhodes: so crockett’s really upset with you

Connor Rhodes: he’s not planning on coming home tonight. he’s staying with noah

Ethan Choi: I don’t get why he’s so upset.

Connor Rhodes: you got mad at him in front of everyone important to him

Ethan Choi: I wasn’t mad at him

Ethan Choi: I’m not mad at him

Connor Rhodes: that’s not how he perceives it. hes hurt and hes allowed to be 

Ethan Choi: Should we be worried about his sobriety?

Connor Rhodes: i dont think so. hes not gonna be leaving the hospital room and he doesnt have anything on him. plus we both know its really important to him and you acting like this is why hes upset.

-

Bekker: Not to alarm anyone, but we just had to intubate Noah.

April: Nat and I will be there in a few minutes. Crockett’s still with him?

Bekker: Yes, and Connor

Maggie<3: What about Ethan?

connor: he went home an hour ago

Other Bekker: such an eventful and overwhelmingly negative day

April: When I left, wasn’t he doing better? Why intubate?

connor: we left the chest tube in with a valve in case we had to drain again, but the painkiller dose wasn’t as effective as we expected and he shifted during and after the procedure, which caused a bleed

April: Did you let a fucking med student do it?

connor: first of all, the procedure was done properly. second he gave consent when we admitted him for med students to assist

April: You let a med student put a fucking chest tube in my brother, undermedicated him, and now he’s intubated because of it?

Bekker: I know this is difficult, and you’re upset. We’ll talk more in person when we get here, but in the meanwhile, know that we are doing everything we can for Noah and he will get through this.

Other Bekker: no one here would ever endanger any patient, let alone your brother @April

Nat: We just parked we’re on our way up

crickett: they put noah under just an fyi

Maggie<3: Let’s all remember to be calm about this. Noah is going to recover. He’s young and healthy and a fighter

crickett: hes immunocompromised

Maggie<3: @crickett Not helping.

crickett: yoinks

Nat: @FreeWilly @Dr.Lanik would you guys mind relieving the babysitter? April and I are going to be here all night.

FreeWilly: I’ll go pick owen up and we’ll keep an eye on him for you. We’ll take him to school in the morning too

Nat: You’re a lifesaver

Dr. Lanik: Parents have to stick together.

[philanddanxreader]

Not So Sober Secrets

Hello, Love Bugs!!

Phil X Reader

Warnings- drinking, smut.  I made this a smut because I make the rules.

Can you write about how like the reader got really wasted bc she decided to just have a little fun one night after studying hard for college and her friend calls d/p (whichever) and they pick her up (bc they're like best friends or something) and drive her home and she starts telling them about how she likes them but doesn't remember any of it in the morning, thanks ^^

“I’m not drunk! You’re the drunk one!” your friend was holding your hair back as you announced this from the bush you had been throwing up in only moments ago. Midterms are hard. No one would ever disagree with you on that. What some may disagree with you on was your method of celebrating. It was a Thursday night when you showed up at your friends with a few mismatched bottles of random liquor you had found around your dorm room. If you were being honest with yourself you knew you should probably wait one more day before getting shit faced. But in Uni there are no real rules as to when it is and isn't acceptable to drink.

When you first arrived you had to try really hard to convince your friend to have a few drinks with you. She has a midterm on Monday so you told her that is more than enough time to study and that she needed a well-deserved break from studying. After the first few drinks, your mind went to that fuzzy place where you feel all warm and giggly but not too drunk that you can walk straight or you are spilling your guts to anyone willing to listen. The plan was originally only to get to this point and stop after that. Get on a bus and go to sleep in your tiny little dorm bed. That was the intended plan. What actually happened was your best friends boyfriend coming home after a long evening at work to find the two of you giggling on the couch. This to him was the perfect excuse to have a mini party with the three of you in the tiny apartment and the night had taken off from there. It was all a blur of drinks and singing to weird 2000’s songs from a band that never lasted past their two hits. The clock had hit about three when you realized that not only do you have class tomorrow but also that you couldn't take a bus anywhere at this time of night.

That's when you got the idea for your friend to call Phil to come pick you up. He owed you a ride from the last time you saved him so it only seemed fair that he return the favour. In both your own and your friend's drunken state this was a perfect idea. Sooner than you even realized you were being drugged outside by your friend as she announced to Phil down the drive how happy she was that he came to get you because in her own words. “I'm getting laid tonight take this lovely bitch home.”

You gave your friend one more hug goodbye before you let Phil practically push you into the passenger seat of his roommate's car. Unfortunately, this wasn't the first time that both Phil and yourself had been in this car with one of you drunk. Last time, however, Phil was the drunk one getting into the passenger. He had gone out with a bunch of the boys to a strip club for one of the boys birthdays and ended up calling you from outside in the alley begging for you to go to his dorm and steal his roommate's keys to pick him up and take him home. When you arrived he was a lot more drunk then one would have expected. Phil was in all the sense of the term a hot mess. The first clue was when he tried to get in the wrong side of the car. Once you had him a bit more situated and buckled in Phil’s weird drunk demands started to roll in. He couldn't pick between McDonald's or making a frozen pizza back at his place. You had ended up staying the night on the couch in the common area instead of walking back to your own dorm.

Once back inside the car, Phil tried to lean over and buckle you in before you swatted his hand away. “I can do it myselfs” you announced as you kept searching for the seatbelt repeatedly. Phil stayed patient as he watched you struggle before you finally got yourself safely strapped in. Phil started to drive the little car down the street as you let the warm air wash over you from the open window. It had been rather quiet in the car with only the light music coming from the radio to kill the silence. Your eyes were already feeling heavy and the mixture of the breeze and the music put you to sleep nearly instantly. fifteen minutes you work to a voice that seemed almost far away but familiar.

“Y/N were almost back to the dorms. Where is your student ID so we can get in?” You pulled out your bag from near your feet and started to search for the bit of plastic that had your face on it. Once you found it you tossed it into the cup holder before resting back in the seat. Your mind started to wonder as the silence between the two of you felt almost defining. Well, at least it did to you in that moment so you decided to fill in the space.

“So Philly? Tell me what's your favourite colour?” Phil paused for a moment before responding.

“I think blue.” your filter had somehow seemed to disappear along with your sobriety.

“How do you think you know your favourite colour? Silly boy. Well, you’re not a boy. You, sir, are a man.” Did you even recognize what was coming out of your mouth? “Hmmm, you know Phil I like you. I always say that Phil is the type of guy I would have no problem calling daddy all night long.” That just actually happened. “It's not just your face either. You are so sweet and funny. Man, I would do you. And that’s not just the drunk girl in me talking.” Oh hell yes it is the drunk girl in your talking. SOber you would have duct tape over your mouth so quick people would think you were in a hostage situation. Phil didn't end up adding more to the conversation and let you fall asleep again as he rounded the corner towards the university dorms.

The sun streaming in through the curtains was possibly the most annoying thing you have ever witnessed in recent memory. Usually, the sun doesn't shine into your window in the morning so you figured you must have really slept in. Trying to stretch you quickly noticed a hand resting on your hip. You tried your hardest to think of what the hell happened last night. Sure things were blurry but you don't remember picking anyone up. You were at a friends. Where would you find someone from there? Rubbing your eyes you decided to try and access the situation that you have found yourself in. The room seemed oddly familiar but you couldn't quite remember why. Stupid hangover headaches. Trying to think a bit harder a terrible thought came to mind. What if you had fucked one of your roommates.Peeking under the covers you were happy to see you were fully clothed and the only thing that was missing were your socks. So that ruled out that you made yourself a complete fool last night so your only option was to turn over and see who it was that was keeping you warm.

You counted to three in your head before slowly flipping over to find a pleasant surprise. Phil’s cute sleepy little face was smushed close to yours to be sure that the two of you could share the only pillow that fit on the tiny bed. Flipping completely over you watched Phil slowly wake up with a little smile on his face. He gave a quick little yawn before looking at you with his soft sleepy eyes.

“How are you feeling? I’m honestly surprised you didn't get sick last night. You were a pretty hot mess. I tried to take you to your dorm but you insisted that you come to mine. Something about freezing to death in your room.” You couldn't help the pink tones that were creeping on your cheeks. Good God, what did you say or even do last night? You don't even remember how you got here.

“Did I walk here?” Phil gave a little giggle as he gave a little stretch in the air.

“Wow I knew you were drunk but I didn't think you would forget that I came to get you in my roommate's car.” You honestly tried but even after being told Phil came and got you from your friends you still couldn't remember a thing.

“I'm sorry I insisted on staying in your bed last night. Also, I'm sorry you had to come and get my really drunk ass home.Did I… Did I say anything too embarrassing.” Suddenly Phil became a lot more quiet than usual. “Oh God, what did I say? If I told you my credit card number please just try and forget it.” This made Phil crack a smile before putting his serious face on.

“It was probably just the liquor talking but you were pretty admitted last night that you have a crush on me. I tried to reason with you but you insisted and would only call me. Well. You said that I should change my name to daddy because that's all you would be calling me if we were a couple.” You didn't think your eyes could become bigger but boy were you wrong. Only three people knew that you have a crush on Phil and Phil was not meant to be one of those people.

“I'm so sorry I will just leave thank you for saving me. Please just forget anything happened, you are too sweet.” As you went to crawl out of the little bed Phil grabbed your wrist making you turn around in a bit of shock.

“Y/N. Please. I wanted to wait until this morning until you were sober to admit that I really like you as well. I won't be calling you daddy anytime soon but I really like you as well.” You couldn't tell if it was the mix of liquor still in your system or if it was because you had been dreaming about this moment forever but for once you didn't think with your head about what if’s and just went with what felt right in the moment and pressed a kiss to Phil’s surprised lips. Thankfully it took Phil only seconds to start kissing you back as he pulled you back into bed to have you sit on his lap. If this was a dream you never wanted it to stop.

The heavy makeout session quickly turned into a heavy petting session filled with desire and pent-up feelings that were begging to get out. The next few minutes were a blur of clothes being shed and moans being mixed with named filling the air of the little room. Soon enough you had found yourself laid on your back with Phil hovering over you as he kissed his way down your hips.

You couldn't help the shiver that ran through you as Phil's fingers traced there way over your thighs and down your legs. He was rested comfortably at the end of the bed looking down at you with a look that screamed I want to fuck you. Almost without realizing you were nodding at Phil almost pleading for him to touch you. Phil gave a quick smirk before pulling your knees apart to reveal your still clothed core. Phil's hands slipped into the waistband of your panties to remove them in one quick motion.

You didn't even try to hide your smile as you watched the article get tossed across the room to land God knows where. Phil’s breath was tickling your inner thigh as he slowly leaned into run kisses along your skin before he reached where you so desperately needed him to be. You had imagined this over million times but even your imagination couldn't compare even fifty percent to the real thing that's happening now. Phil looked up at you from your waist waiting patiently for you to give him permission to continue. Reaching down you ran a hand through his hair looking down at the beautiful boy you had been pinning over forever. Even if this was just a dream you wanted to have this sight burned into your memory for as long as possible.

Taking a deep breath you gave Phil one more smile as you nodded and let almost a whimper of a yes escape your lips. Phil gave a few more kisses to the sensitive skin on your legs before pressing one of his kisses on your clit. You didn't even notice Phil move your legs so they were spread more as he wrapped his arms around the back of your thighs to hold you still. Even though you were expecting it the sensation of Phil’s tongue running over your clit was enough of a shock to the system he had to tighten his grip so you wouldn't be able to squirm away from him. Phil repeated this making sure to only run his tongue over your clit once then wait a moment before doing it again. It was almost agony to have this repeated over and over again. You had to beg Phil to stop. Not because it didn't feel good. But because the teasing was going to make you implode. Phil gave a little giggle at this before he started to suck at the little bundle of nerves. Was this worse than the teasing? You honestly couldn't tell from the lack of any thought besides trying not to scream so loud that every single one of Phil’s roommates would be able to hear you screaming his name. Your one hand was between your teeth trying to muffle your sounds while the other was in Phil’s hair pushing and pulling at the sensations you were feeling. Your brain was buzzing from everything making the question Phil was asking to go in one ear and out the other.

“Y/N? Love. Come back to me for a moment.”  Phil’s voice brought you back to look down at him to only find him looking back at you.

“Sorry. Yes?” Phil smiled kissing your thigh with a little giggle.

“Do you mind if I finger you?” You actually let out a laugh before you realized he was being serious.

“Oh god, Phil you are adorable. You don't have to ask me every time you want to do something. I have and still do give my consent to you. If I wasn't comfortable with something I would let you know. Trust me. I’m beyond enjoying myself.” Phil shined a bright smile at you from where he was laying at the end of his bed. Leaning down you pulled Phil closer so you could give him a proper kiss. The mix of the taste of Phil and yourself on his lips was, in all honesty, a bit weird but you really didn't mind. Phil was the one to pull away first only to return his lips back to kissing other things.

His tongue slowly made its way down further to your entrance before you could feel him start to suck and lick making you feel like you were melting into the little bed. Phil’s mouth moved back to your clit making you release a sad little moan until one of his fingers slipped into you. That sad moan quickly turned into a happy one as Phil pushed his second finger into you. It wasn't very long that you were turning into an even bigger mess than before. Phil was quickly pushing you faster to the edge of orgasm then you thought was possible. Your hands moved away from Phil's hair and onto the sheets under you. It didn't take long before you could feel the complete build-up of your orgasm right before toppling over the edge. You meant to tell Phil or even say something but you didn't get much out past a few swears and the moans of Phil’s name mixed with sounds you didn't even know you made. Phil continued to suck and curl his fingers inside of you as your orgasm finally toppled over the edge letting the waves of actual bliss run through you from your toes up to your burning ears. Phil stayed in tune with your body as he continued to help your ride out your orgasm to get every second out of it.

Once the jolts stopped running through your body Phil crawled up beside you kissing your burning cheek before laying beside the best he could in the small single bed. Phil was reaching for the blankets to cover your naked body before you stopped him.

“Wait. What about you?” Phil gave you a small smile as he kissed your cheek again.

“I'm fine Love. Really. It was enough watching you. Besides I'm sure you are still exhausted from last night. I have a feeling we will be fooling around more times than this.” Cuddling into Phil’s chest you had finally felt safe and comfortable for the first time in a long time maybe you should confess your drunken love more often.

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Tempest’s intensive Sloth You Smell Like Drama And A Headache Please Get Away From Me shirt .  educational program, which hinges on peer support and evidence-based practices, is meant to be empowering above all else, says Whitaker. In addition to the core curriculum, the program releases a new lecture focused on recovery each week, as well as guided meditation and Q&As with Whitaker. Sloth You Smell Like Drama And A Headache Please Get Away From Me shirt, hoodie, sweater, longsleeve and ladies t-shirt

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