#right now just anxiously awaiting being able to code again

[logicpng]

I'm Still working on the ukagaka it's just a lot of code work so I don't have as much to show yet

and doing some ridiculous things along the way like testing some line picks on windows xp so that aster doesn't say things that are relevant to windows 11 instead

[First image ID:

Gif demonstrating Rigel being petted and becoming progressively shaky about it

End image ID]

[Second image ID:

Gif demonstrating Rigel commenting on a feature specific to Windows 11. He says "Right Mouse button is your best friend! Simply click anywhere and select what you need…? (Is that..? Why is the menu expandable??)"

End image ID]

[Third image ID:

Aster ukagaka WIP working on a Windows XP virtual machine, which reflects in Rigel's speech: His intro speech mentions Windows XP Professional instead of Windows 11 2H22

End image ID]

[isolemnlyswear]

hello! can i request a modern marauder (you pick) x popstar!fem!reader (while they're still in hogwarts) to the song breathin by ariana grande as if it were the reader's song? <3 <3

breathin

a/n : this is the most specified request i've ever gotten, so it's kinda shitty ! i really have never wrote anything like this - at all - and i didn’t know if the reader was meant to be a muggle or not ????????? so i made them not one. bc you’re anon i cant ask you questions abt your request, so next time please specify!

continued a/n : wow, this is interesting. i dont like it, but !!! hope u enjoy????

warnings : swearing, bad writing

taglist : @oldschoolkiddo @amourtentiaa @anchoeritic @faeinorbit @tomriddleswifey @inks-and-jinx @jxsperhxle @punkrific @the-gazette-of-tea @krasivayadarling @orifortheweeknd @fallin-4-ya @incxndio @daisyyy2516 @hoe4cedricdiggory @vsawyer1989

Remus sighed, glaring at the raven-haired boy beside him.

“What, s’gonna be fun!” Sirius grins, and the lycanthrope who’s refuting him simply laughs.

“Fun? Your idea of fun is a packed concert - full of muggles, nonetheless - for this...popstar woman?” Remus says incredulously, and Sirius raises an eyebrow.

“Oh, ho, ho, this is not any popstar, Moony. Plus, what else are we gonna do over the summer? Sulk around at your parents’ house?” Sirius grins again, and Remus lets out a sigh.

“The latter I can agree with. But who is this girl, anyway?” Remus inquires, and Sirius reaches into his back pocket to acquire his phone. Although Hogwarts doesn't allow modern technology, both Sirius and Remus have their own each for the summers. With how phone-centered the modern world is, they couldn't not.

He swipes through to find a picture of you - one obtained from your Instagram, which has over four million followers - and holds it up to Remus.

“Merlin,” he breathes, eyes scanning the image.

You're wearing a brown leather dress, the shoulders poking up just barely. Your hair is framing your face, legs tucked under you in a half-crouch, and you're looking into the camera with lips perfectly parted. It was one you took for the shoot of your newest album, and a particular favorite of yours.

“Gorgeous, right? She’s really talented, as well.” Sirius grins, looking at his best friend, who is unresponsive, with eyes glued on the screen. “Moony?” he waves a hand over the brunette’s face, who snaps out of his trance.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. Sure.” Remus says, blinking a few too many times.

“So, you up for it now?”

“Alright,” Remus replies, nodding at Sirius, who pumps his fists into the air with a grin.

“She's American, but doing a show in London in a few weeks,” Sirius informs, smiling.

“American, huh? How old is she?” Remus asks, settling back into the couch they're perched on.

“That's the best part. She's our age - just turned eighteen.” Sirius grins again, putting his phone away.

“Oh yeah? You say that like she'd notice us. Never gonna happen, Pads.” Remus smiles, shaking his head.

“Expect the unexpected, mon amie.”

---

You're fiddling anxiously with your fingers, hands out of use as someone else is doing your makeup, rather than yourself.

“Almost done, Miss L/N,” Madelyn, your makeup artist, says, brushing a soft highlighter over your cheekbones.

“Mads, I told you that you can call me Y/N. You only do my makeup every day,” you say, closing your eyes as the woman pats highlighter into your inner corner.

“And...” she mists your face with setting spray, “...Done!”

---

About four hours later, your back is facing the crowd that's piled into the venue, stage lights shut off as only the sounds of quiet murmurs and shuffling feet hit your ears.

And then, the lights come on with a thumping click, and you begin the routine that you've practiced time and time again.

The music to your first song, the least vocally challenging of the set, begins, and you turn around with a sway of your hips.

Holding the mic to your mouth, you begin a one-step, two-step rhythm, one that's second nature to you; your eyes survey the crowd, left hand reaching to flip your hair.

The tune changes, and the beat is faster, now, as the lights begin to flash and your voice, in a habitual fashion, changes to match. You stride out rhythmically to the center of the stage.

You crouch in a fluid movement, thankful for the coverage your outfit gives you. It's a black sparkling jumpsuit, bottoms being a high-waisted, glimmering fabric with two side flaps, connected at your stomach to a matching corset-like top.

After a few minutes of usual song/dance routines, followed by cheers from the crowd, you decide it's time for a crowd interaction. It's difficult, resisting the urge to pull out your wand and cast a silencing charm to get the group's attention, but you opt for speech, instead.

"Alright, alright, everybody," you say into the mic with a laugh, eyes scanning the crowd for someone to converse with.

There's one man - his ebony hair is swishing as he speaks - who's bouncing up and down like an eager dog, and you laugh.

"We all excited to be here? In London!" you say, garnering numerous cheers and screams from the group.

"I can tell you are." You walk over to the raven-haired boy, who's in front row, and crouch down. He'd previously cheered extremely loud, confirming his excitement.

The boy makes a loud whoop'ing noise, getting a laugh from his friend.

His friend.

You continue to speak, walking over to someone else, but now your eyes are glued on him.

He looks about your age, with beautifully disheveled sandy brown hair and chocolate eyes. He has numerous scars littering his face, some new and red, some older and whitening.

You can't help but wonder what the scars are from, and you feel a strange attachment to the boy, though you've never spoken before.

And after a while, it's time for your final song. About a thirds of the way through, at your favorite part, you meander back over to the boys.

You lean over, disguising your position as a simple concert move, but you're really staring into the brunette's eyes.

"You remind me of a time when things weren't so complicated." The words fall from your mouth effortlessly, and you're able to search the boy's eyes as you sing. There's a spark in them, a glimmer of light that pulls you in.

"All I need is to see your face." You sing, still singing almost directly to the brunette.

You need to see more of him, you suddenly think. And you continue to sing the song, but all that swims around in your brain is a plan. A plan to erase the mystery behind the boy.

The show comes to a close, but before everyone has left, you pull your manager aside.

"Hey, Martin, this- this is an odd request, but could you ask these two boys to come backstage? That sounds, um, interesting, but would y'mind-"

"What do they look like?" Martin interrupts you, and you sigh in relief.

"One has longer black hair, and the other... sorta sandy brown hair, and some scars on his face. Can you find them from that?"

"I'll try."

You nod and thank him, running backstage to your small lounge and bathroom to await your mysterious visitors, changing quickly into clothes that are more comfortable; a simple silk dress, in a y/f/c hue, and a sweater to go over it.

You fiddle with your wand in your hands, mentally berating yourself.

It was quite a reckless decision, really. It's not like you had a valid reason for inviting these people to such a VIP space such as this. Just because you feel some weird connection to one of them didn't mean you could disregard everything. These boys are probably muggles, and you are not. Merlin, you're getting shipped off to Scotland next year after being home-schooled by your magical parents for eighteen years - just in time for your last year of school -going to a boarding school called Hogwarts (which would be a PR nightmare, but your parents insisted you needed some 'real-life experience').

But amidst your train of thought, you hear a knock at your door - two taps, three taps, your manager's code that it's okay to open the door - and you shove your wand into your (enlarged via Engorgio charm) pocket.

You stride over to the door, fiddling with the hem of your sweater, and open it to see Martin.

"Here they are, Miss L/N." He steps to the side to reveal the two boys, the darker-haired male standing in front, and you refrain from gasping when he steps forward, allowing you full view of the other boy.

The scars on his face are glimmering in the light, and his eyes are warm, pulling you in with every glance. His hair is perfectly tousled, and he's tall, over six foot two, or so you'd guess.

"Come in," you say, stepping aside to allow them entrance. You nod to Martin, signalling him to leave, and he does so, shutting the door and leaving you with the pair.

"Holy shit," the raven-haired boy says, and you realize he's only slightly shorter, about an inch less.

You laugh slightly, gesturing for them to sit down.

"Why are we back here?" the shorter one says, and you smile. He's made himself comfortable, seemingly the more outgoing, but the other one is still standing awkwardly beside you.

"You can relax, I'm not interrogating you," you say, smiling at the taller boy, who seems to let out a breath. "Why don't you introduce yourselves, and then we can talk, okay?"

"I'm Sirius, Sirius Black." The boy runs a hand through his dark hair, grinning.

"Ah, like the constellation? Brightest star in the sky," you say, and he nods.

"I'm, um, Remus. Remus Lupin," the other boy says tentatively, offering a smile.

"Hi, Remus," you say, nodding. "I don't want to assume you know my name, I'm aware you're not American, but considering you're at this concert-"

"Of course, we know your name, we're British, not daft," Sirius says with a playful scoff, and you laugh. "You're Y/N."

"That I am," you say with a giggle, and Remus grins. Your heart stops for a moment, the world coming to a halt as his eyes meet yours.

Sirius clears his throat, and a blush spreads onto the apples of your cheeks. You gulp, looking down.

"So, you didn't answer my question," Sirius starts, tilting his head, but Remus kicks his shin.

"Pads, chill," he whispers, shaking his head. Sirius shakes his head, looking at you.

"It's fine, really. 'M not that interesting, no need to be uptight," you say, smiling again.

"I'd beg to differ," Remus breathes.

After what feels like no time at all, but is really three hours, you've gotten any and all formalities out of the way. Well, all but one - you're still unsure if they're muggles, and they don't know that you're a witch, either.

That is, until Remus gets up to go to the restroom, and something tumbles out of his pocket.

Your first thought is how did something that long fit in a jean pocket, but then you see what it is.

It's a wand, about ten inches, cypress wood, with a small bulb at the end of it. You gasp, and Remus goes pale, stumbling to pick it up.

"Is that-" you start, but Sirius cuts you off.

"It's nothing," he says quickly, but you shake your head.

"That's a wand," you say slowly, and Remus is wide-eyed, nervously fidgeting.

"It-"

"No, no, no," you say, reaching into the pocket of your sweater and pulling out your own. Sirius and Remus simultaneously gasp as you brandish it in your hands, and you grin.

"You're a witch?" Remus asks, jaw slack.

"You're a wizard?" you return, raising an eyebrow.

"Fuck yeah we are!" Sirius says, and you grin.

"What school?" Remus inquires, and you purse your lips.

"I was home-schooled, but this year - for my last one - I'm going to this school called Hogwarts? D'you know it?" you explain, garnering another gasp from the pair.

"That's where we go," Remus says, and your eyes light up.

"Really?!" you ask excitedly.

"Yeah! I guess you'll have some friends when you get there, at least," Remus assures, grinning.

"I bet Remus wishes you had a boyfriend to greet you," Sirius says, disguised with some coughs, and you blush. Remus kicks his friend in the shin again, and turns to you with a sigh.

"Sorry, he doesn't know what he's talking about," he says, and you raise an eyebrow.

"Does he not?" you ask flirtatiously, and it's Remus's turn to blush.

"Uh-"

"We'll just have to see, won't we?" you say with a mischievous grin, one returned by the sandy-haired boy in front of you.

[crimsonandcloverwrites]

bhah ch6 it’s go time

excitable bby carson is so cute I love that kid

Dani uuuhhh being so in tune w Jamie always is so lovely. and Jamie almost being a bit scared of accepting her kindness when she’s truly hurting is so interesting like I think Dani really is her person but she still can’t fully let down all her walls around her. or tbh probably doesn’t have the emotional capacity to understand how she’s feeling and communicate that properly gah someone pls give her unending emotional support she makes my heart hurt so much

“There was an odd expression on her face that Dani couldn’t place” that’s love babey (i feel like there are a lot of moments like this lol I love seeing this all from Dani’s POV)

oof Dani trying to figure out where she’d ‘misstepped’ bc of a look Karen gave her god she doesn’t deserve this

the way she can make Dani have a fucking panic attack just by being near her ummmmmm I hate her. like i can’t even comment on this bit bc I’m mostly just trying to read it really fast and not reflect too hard

ah sweet Jamie

hmmmm is this the moment Dani falls in love with Jamie please it’s so sweet and casual and literally just Jamie being herself and caring about Dani with her whole heart. no wonder. also the contrast of this with her realising as an adult is beautiful. Dani u poor  little confused gay angel

the dirty paperback a staple of all good plotlines

dsfjhdfkjghkjfh when Dani straddles her and Jamie just fucking freezes oh my god this part makes me laugh so much you poor little lesbian

““As you wish,” Jamie said softly.” oh god oh no not the princess bride rn this whole bit is too soft

“Twenty-four hours alone with Jamie in her house, and it was like Dani had suddenly forgotten what the emptiness of it felt like.” oof just. Jamie is her home I can’t even think about that concept too hard it is too beautiful and all-encompassing

Milkshake Monday is so cute I’m gonna make a milkshake on Monday in honour of the O’Mara/Clayton/Taylor gang

Eddie’s “he rested his hand oddly on the ground between them, his palm up and hands loose“ is giving me flashbacks to the only date I ever went on with a man  please not this move

aww poor Jamie is jealous (and probably very sadly realising she will never get to be where Eddie is with the handholding and blossoming relationship ouch) (this is also giving me flashbacks stop living inside my brain)

oh my god Jamie sprinting away from David w the paperback i’m dying

aww lil D&D bebes

dfgdjfh “I cast: slap you in the face.” i think he has some points

Eddie and his endless sheets of notes and plans is actually super cute.

Carson wanting to be evil there is somethin to be said abt queer-coded villians and that is that I love them and the gravitational forces they apply to baby gays

god the sibling banter in this is so perfect this is exactly how this wld have gone down w me n my siblings

lmao eddie really is in his element this is so good

god Jamie just... so anxiously awaiting for the only source of stability she’s ever had in her life to return I am emotional

teeny baby mikey. Jamie’s parents are the fucking worst for the ways they treated their kids but I’m so glad Nan can be here for them

why is... jamie so upset?? is this like. it kinda puts the nail in the coffin of the idea of her family being whole again?? is it just because Jamie wasn’t told what’s happening and she feels out of control?? let me see inside ur brain jamie u poor confused angry little bird

ugh now I am thinking about the idea of family and building ur own and getting to choose the people that mean the most to you and it sucks that for some people the families they were born into can’t be that and this is too much for a Sunday afternoon

oh she’s upset by the change of it all (tho like... that’s probably just the easiest part to talk about rn I’m sure it’s a lot of complicated emotions)

the foreshadowing of “I’ll be the one to take care of him”

"She isn't going to just up and leave you alone with a baby, Jamie." genuinely too fragile for this rn

fuck i can just picture extremely sullen teenage Jamie with feelings too big to process properly trying to just survive and sweet understanding Dani giving her a really gentle place to kind of... reflect a bit and work through them. I am. also having feelings too big to process properly. i love that Nan knows Dani is this for her too and probably sent her after her for that exact reason

hhhmnngfhgh washing her hands for her the intricate rituals of it all

“Can just call him ‘Bawbag’ and be done with it.” jesus christ Jamie sdkjfhdkjdghk I am wheezing

Dani giving Mikey the nickname literally means everything to meeeeeeee

Dani picking up pamphlets for Ed and Jamie too is so cute

lmao Dani is like. a boy??? asking me to homecoming???? panic time

Roger’s lil crush on Jamie is so funny bro ur barking up the wrong tree... in the wrong forest... in the wrong hemisphere... lost in space somewhere

Jamie getting to grow her own flowers is so wonderful and Dani recognising this is where she’s the most fulfilled is so lovely (and I finally know where the pressed morning glory from the box is yus)

god Karen is so relentlessly mean to Dani why are u like this

Jesus christ the thought of Dani asking Nan what sodomy is. the heartattack she wld have

woof this like subtle ‘you’ll never be accepted bc it’s just not right’ vibe from Karen in this whole conversation w Judy this is tooooo familiar. no wonder she just keeps repressing it all (should i be using this fic to process my own life probably not)

Jamie taking them to an outdoor picture theatre because Dani mentioned wanting to go one time ow my heart. this is basically their first date no?? flip that’s cute. oh god a horror movie tho sdkjfhdjf Jamie

i think there’s such an interesting thing of Dani and Jamie just... falling into each other in this really uneventful way and their whole relationship being this really full thing without a big realisation of ‘this is what love/romance is’ and is probably half the reason Dani isn’t really able to name it as that?? like i love it and i think it’s so sweet but I wonder if Jamie was ever able to actually say something if that would have finally tipped her tiny lil repressed brain over into realisation???

this whole bit is so sweetly innocent I love it

another day 3 days another emotional rollercoaster of a chapter gbless

[whitecatindisguise]

Let Me Make You Proud 6

Wohoo! Another chapter is here!

I had a bad day, but if you were the same, at least maybe I can make you feel better with a new chapter. Enjoy~

-------

Chapter 6: The Way That You Want Me To

Varian was doing his best not to tremble. He lowered his head but his gaze still followed the man in the room. He almost felt like he forgot how to breathe. The man picked up one of the bombs from the desk and examined it. Varian’s hands turned into fists, as he awaited the result. The man slowly put the bomb back to its original place. 

“Well…” He said without turning around, and the alchemist felt his pulse quickening. The man’s voice didn’t show his real thoughts. “It seems like you’ve been quite busy.”

“Yeah…” Varian muttered in response, not quite sure how should he answer. There was a moment of silence, as neither of them talked. The alchemist wondered, should he say something but decided otherwise. He didn’t want to anger the man for speaking without being asked. 

“So, you’ve finally decided to stay on the right side of the history.” The man commented as he turned around, his green eyes staring into the boy, who shifted uncomfortably. “Can’t say I’m surprised. You’ve always been clever.”

“B-better stick to the winners, right?” Varian answered, the joke being an attempt at masking his nervousness. 

Andrew nodded approvingly and moved towards the door, stopping for a moment to pat the boy on the shoulder. 

“Keep it up, kid.” He said. “And maybe we won’t treat you as a traitor anymore.”

The door closed with a metallic clang and Varian let himself finally relax. He leaned by the wall and let his body slide down to the floor. Ruddiger got out from his hiding place under the desk and approached the boy. 

“We… We did it, Ruddiger!” Varian said to the raccoon, petting its head. “He believed it!”

Ruddiger chittered and stared at his face, tilting his head a little. 

“Don’t worry, I’m not really working for them.” The boy assured as he continued to pet the animal. “It’s only so that they leave us alone. If they believe I’m on their side, it will be easier for us to figure out a solid escape plan.”

The raccoon didn’t seem much convinced but decided to trust his master. Sure enough, he was clever. Besides, Ruddiger knew he didn’t want to go back to being a villain again. Not after the last time, anyway. 

Varian took one more calming breath and stood up. 

“Okay, bud. Better get back to work, so they don’t suspect anything.” He said as he approached the work desk. For a short moment his gaze looked pained but he quickly shook his head to focus on the task. 

Hours flew by, and before he knew it, there were already tons of various alchemical bombs laid out on the desk. Once he started, it was really easy for him to get lost in the work. Despite the situation, he still was doing what he loved. Alchemy was also his escape from the reality. When he focused on mixing the ingredients and getting the right proportions, he could pretend he was back at home, in Old Corona. He was so enthralled by the beloved science, he didn’t even notice the door to his lab opening. 

An angry clearing of the throat scared him. He yelped in surprise and turned around in a flash, his eyes wide in terror. Juniper stood in the doorway, a scowl on her face and her arms crossed on her chest. 

“You done?” She asked, looking clearly irritated. 

“Huh? Oh, yeah.” Varian quickly put back the vial he was holding and turned off the fire he used to boil his mixtures. “Sorry, didn’t hear you come in.”

“Noticed.” The woman grumbled, visibly angry. The alchemist chuckled nervously and scratched his neck in embarrassment. 

“I’m sorry. I always lose the track of real world when I focus on alchemy.” He tried to explain but that earned him only another scowl from the Saporian. 

“Whatever, it’s time you finish anyway.” She said as she turned, ready to leave. “Come on, or you’ll sleep in the corridor.”

Varian quickly scrambled after her, Ruddiger climbing up to his shoulders. She was already in the middle of the corridor when he finally caught up. They walked in silence, and Varian wondered about the woman’s attitude. 

“E-Everything okay?” He started. “You seem… irritated.”

“Maybe that’s because I have to babysit a traitorous kid because he can’t get to his room on his own?” She scowled and Varian grunted. 

“Hey, I know the way. I’ve been back and forth enough times to learn it by now.” He countered, feeling offended. “Besides, where else would I go? The cafeteria?” He joked. Juniper suddenly stopped and he collided with her back. 

“Listen, brat!” She muttered through the clenched teeth. “I don’t care WHAT you do to earn our trust. You can make as many bombs, or whatever else you are doing there, but you won’t trick me. You might have fooled Andrew but not me. For me you are and always will be a traitor! And if it wasn’t for Andrew’s orders, I would have killed you myself before you could even think what’s going on!”

Varian backed up to the wall, his back pressed to the cold wall. He put up his hands defensively, as the woman came closer with every word she said. He felt truly terrified, the raccoon on his shoulders trembling. 

“I-I don’t know what you’re-” He tried to explain but she grabbed him by the shirt and picked him up, his legs swinging helplessly mid-air. 

“You know EXACTLY what I’m talking about!” She shouted into his face. “I don’t know what are your plans, yet. But I’ll be watching you, brat!”

With that words she let go of his shirt and let him drop to the floor. He coughed a few times and stood up, his hand on the wall. Juniper didn’t spare him a look, as she turned around and continued down the hall. Varian followed her in silence, his heart still beating fast from her threats. They soon reached the door to his bedroom and he waited quietly as she unlocked it. He quickly walked in, not wanting to spend anymore time with the terrifying woman. Just before she closed the door, she shuffled in the bag she was holding.

“Catch.” She said as she threw an object in the boy’s direction. He held up his hands and caught it, surprised to find it a notebook, with a pencil tied to it. He gave the woman a puzzled look, to which she sighed in irritation. “Andrew said to get it to you. Apparently, you wanted something to write down your thoughts when you’re not in the lab.”

Varian stared at the notebook and remembered the conversation he had with the Saporian leader few days ago. From the scowl he got back then, he figured he wouldn’t be so keen to help. But there he was, a notebook in his hands, a gift from the man. 

“Thank you.” He smiled lightly, but Juniper only grunted angrily. 

“I only hope we won’t regret this.” She said. The door closed and there was a familiar locking sound. 

Varian waited until her furious footsteps faded to finally focus on the object he was holding. He sat at the top of his bed, Ruddiger joining him, curiously peering over his arm. The alchemist slowly opened the notebook and let his hand touch the blank pages. He smiled as his fingers felt the paper. 

“This is it, Ruddiger. We’re one step closer to escaping!” He exclaimed to the puzzled raccoon. “With this notebook we can figure out and write down any essential information needed for the escape!”

Ruddiger chittered anxiously, eyeing the notebook. He seemed unconvinced, and Varian could understand his worry. What if anyone found this notebook and see what’s inside? The teenager smirked.

“Don’t worry, they won’t understand a thing.” He reassured. “When I translated Demanitus’ Scroll, I got the translation key fully remembered. I will be able to use it to code everything that we don’t want them to find out.”

The raccoon chittered nervously but seemed more convinced, even if a little fear still remained. Varian put away the notebook and picked him up, setting him on his laps. 

“But I can’t do all that alone, buddy. I’m gonna need your help.” He said, looking the animal in the eyes. Ruddiger tensed and saluted. No way he was gonna let Varian take all work to himself. The boy smiled and patted his friend’s head. “I knew I could count on you. We’re in this together, pal.” 

[monstaxperiments]

Monsta X reaction to being jealous of your male friend (pt. 2)..~

Wonho:

..~ You and Wonho loved the club. Even though it was always filled with dozens of people you two always ffelt that you were the only two people in the room. Wonho loved it because he loves showing you off and loves grinding and feeling on you where others can see. You loved it for the same reason but reversed, you loved to show Wonho off and you loved when you grind on each other ina room full of people who wish they could either be you or with you. In this case, someone wished to be with you. Badly. He was sitting upstairs in one of the VIP sections getting a lap dance from one of his groupies. He was a well known up and coming idol named X and noticed you as soon as you walked in. He had to have you. He wasn’t going to let you go again. Wonho excused himself to the restroom and you decided to wait for him at the bar. X saw his chance, you were alone. You were sipping on your drink when you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turn around to see a tall, bulky guy with a serious look on his face. “Yes?” you ask nervously. “Mr. X has taken a liking to you and would like to invite you to his VIP section.” The guy sounded like a robot. “Whose Mr. X?” You asked confused. The bulky guy gestures upstairs towards one of the balconies. You see a handsome young man raise his glass to you and you immediately recognized him. “Oh my gosh! Xavier!” You excitedly following the bulky guy upstairs. You knew Xavier from college and was one of the few people who supported him when he wanted to become an idol. His parents did not approve and some of his friends turned their backs on him for wanting to pursue the idol life. You follow each other on Instagram and Twitter and text occasionally but lost touch as his life became more hectic with the idol life. Xavier never stopped thinking about you though. When he finishes his schedule for the day he scrolls through your feed for hours. Even when you haven’t posted anything new. One night he sees another man on your feed. Then the man kept appearing on your feed as time went on. He later learned the man’s name was Wonho. Now seeing the both of you in the club, he felt it was the universe giving him a sign, that you should leave Wonho and be with him. “Wow I can’t believe this is happening right now!” You say as you finally reach Xavier’s section. “I know it must be fate” X says as he outstretches his arms to hug you. You two sit and catch up when you felt your phone buzz in your purse. It was Wonho, ‘where r u?’ You completely forgot about your poor boyfriend, he was probably so lost like a puppy when he couldn’t find you. You message him to look upstairs and you flash the flashlight on your phone to get his attention. He spots you leaning over the balcony with a stranger standing next to you. A handsome young man, but definitely not as handsome as me Wonho thinks to himself as he makes his way up the stairs. You introduce them to each other and explain to Wonho how you know X. “Hey lets get this party started shall we?” X suddenly says getting up out of his seat. He bends down to your ear and asks you what song do you want the DJ to play. Wonho sitting on the opposite side of you watches as X whispers something in your ear. Don’t get too close pretty boy Wonho thinks as he subtly tries to lean in closer to hear what X was saying. X gestures to the DJ to change to the song you suggested. You stand up and start to dance. Wonho is entranced by your body and gets up to dance behind you but X swiftly cuts in front of him and dances with you instead. Wonho scoffs and moves around X to dance in front of you. You smile at each other and dance until the next song comes on. “Shots!” You hear someone yell as trays of shot glasses are set down on the bar counters. “Y/n lets do shots together” X says handing you a glass. “Maybe just one” you say taking the glass. X wraps his arm around yours and you both down the shots. “Whooooooo!” X yells while grabbing two more. “Another!” X says handing you the glass. “Nooo! I’m good! I’m a light weight remember!” You yell back. “C’mon y/n! Don’t be a party pooper!” X yells insisting you take the glass. Wonho steps in front of you  “She said no. Don’t make her have to say it again.” Wonho says firmly. X decides to back off, for now. A few songs and people taking more shots later someone yells “Jello shots!” and trays of jello shots are on the bar counters now. Wonho flashes you a sexy smile as he takes a jello shot. “Body shot?” He wiggles his eyebrows at you. “Why are you so bad?” You ask as Wonho places the shot glass between your breasts. You’re not worried about your white dress getting ruined since you knew Wonho was an expert with his mouth. He takes the shot from your breasts with his mouth and downs the drink. He turns to get another glass and places it between your breasts. Just as he’s about to go down he’s shoved to the side by X. You feel yourself stumble back in surprise but feel a hand behind your back keeping you balanced then you see a mop of bleached blond hair dive into your chest. It couldn’t have been Wonho since his hair was currently black. The only person that was in the VIP section that had that color hair was... the person lifted their head, shot glass in their mouth, it was X. He spits the shot glass out to God knows where and looks back at you with a slimy smile. Before you could do anything, as if in slow motion you see a fist connect right to X’s cheek and he goes down to the ground. The VIP section is in chaos for a few moments as onlookers witness the scene. Wonho climbs on top of X and starts to punch him some more. The bulky guy, whose name you learned was Rick, grabs Wonho and starts to drag him towards the exit. You hastily follow behind them. You hear X yelling after you about how he’s always been in love with you and for you to come back to him. Once outside, Rick tosses Wonho onto the street and he stumbles a bit but doesn’t fall. You run up beside him and grab his arm, “Are you ok?” You ask looking him up and down to make sure he wasn’t hurt. “I’m fine babe. I just wish I could’ve punched that guy some more before getting thrown out. No one touches my girl like that” He says as he wraps his arm around your waist. “C’mon the night is still young. What do you want to do next baby?” You take a few moments to think “Let’s go get ramen.” Wonho looks down at you and gives you the biggest smile “I love the way you think”

Kihyun:

..~ Thursday afternoons have become Kihyun’s favorite. Lately that was the only time out of the whole week he was able to see you. His schedule had become so hectic with the group promotions he had to go to your workplace during lunch breaks. Kihyun tapped the steering wheel of his car as he happily hummed to the song playing on the radio, excited to see you. The days couldn’t go by quick enough. He’d always rush to get his work done so he could arrive at your work on time and spend as much time as possible with you. 

Finally reaching your workplace Kihyun pulls into the parking lot, grabs the food from the passenger seat, and heads for the side door. He punches in your key code that you’ve given him months ago and enters the building. You worked for a very popular online fashion magazine. The building was huge and was like a maze. It took Kihyun around 10 times to navigate his way to your office without having to look at the cute little hand drawn map that you had made for him. Getting off of the elevator Kihyun went through more twists and turns until he finally reached your office. The wide smile on his face quickly disappeared as he sees that you’re not in there. Strange. Normally when he came he’d often find you staring out the window looking down towards the parking lot, anxiously awaiting his arrival as if you could see him from this height. Kihyun enters your office and sets the food down on your desk, looking around confused. He finally decides to pull out his to call you until he started hearing loud yelling from down the hallway. Even more confused Kihyun pokes his head out and listens to weird noises and realizes that it’s laughter. Coming from the shared break room. Curiosity overcomes Kihyun and he makes his way to the break room to see what’s all the commotion about. Turning the corner he sees a bunch of employees gathered around with loads of food and drinks and a cake. Scanning the crowd he locates you, cheering along with the crowd. Only now was Kihyun realizing what the cheering about. It was a welcome back party for one of your coworkers. The assistant manager to be exact. Your face lights up when you see Kihyun walking towards you. You two hug as you greet each other. “I’m so sorry I completely forgot about lunch. Forgive me?” You bat your eyes sweetly at him and he smiles back. “Fine. But just this once.” Kihyun sits at the table you were standing by and watches as everyone mingles with each other with small plates of food and plastic cups. After some time Kihyun got up to go get the food he brought along with them to eat in the break room. Returning from your office his pace slows significantly as he sees the assistant manager sitting in his chair, feeding you cake. Kihyun stares at the scene completely dumbfounded. He stood there, mouth agape for sometime until someone accidentally bumps into him, knocking him out of his daze. You two were laughing and talking as Kihyun walks up to the table. You stand to introduce the two and Kihyun learns that his name is Terrance. Kihyun shakes his hand, a bit too firm as Terrance winces and gives him a strange look. “Sorry. I don’t know my own strength sometimes.” Kihyun says with an exaggerated laugh. Before Terrance could respond, one of the coworkers start to rapidly bang a plastic fork against his plastic cup so he could grab everyone’s attention. Rolling his eyes, Kihyun took the seat next to Terrance, since Terrance sat back down in Kihyun’s original seat. “I have a few words I’d like to say in regards to how happy and relieved everyone is thanks to Terrance’s return.” As the coworker and several others shared a word or two, Kihyun learns that the assistant manager had been on leave for a few months due to contracting an illness and have just been cleared by the hospital last week. Upon learning about the assistant manager’s hardships Kihyun felt bad about being slightly rude earlier, but only for a moment. Terrance stands up to thank everyone for their kind words. “I’d also like to thank y/n for stepping up and taking my place while I was out. I know without her this place would’ve probably burned to the ground.” He got a a lot of laughter for that one. “And that is way I’d like to give y/n this.” The crowd waits in anticipation as Terrance rounds one of the corners of the break room. Kihyun squirms in his seat as he watches everything unfold, the way Terrance walks with unwavering confidence, the way your face showed excited and curiosity. Terrance returns with a huge bouquet of flowers, a huge teddy bear, and a huge box of chocolates in the shape of a heart. What the fuck is this? Valentine’s day? Kihyun thinks to himself as he watches with a calm look on his face but on the inside he is completely disgusted by this guy lack of shame. Everyone in the office knows that y/n has a boyfriend and this was rubbing Kihyun the wrong way. Deep down he knows he shouldn’t feel this way. It was a kind gesture of appreciation, but he just couldn’t help but feel a bit of jealousy looking at how your face lit up at all the gifts. “Tulips! My favorite!” You said sniffing the flowers. “I thought daisies were your favorite?” Kihyun asks bewildered. “No, no. It’s tulips.” Terrance responses before you could. Before Kihyun could reply the crowd of coworkers start to gather around to take a closer look at your gifts, pushing and bumping Kihyun until he was the only one of on the outskirts of the group. 

An hour or so later when lunch break is over, you realize that you haven’t seen Kihyun in a while. The bag of food was still on the table were he left them, so where did he go? You take the bag of food to place in your office. Opening you see a figure standing by the window. “Kihyun there you are! I was wondering where you ran off to.” Kihyun doesn’t respond. He looks down at his wrist watch and shakes his head slightly. “I may have a little time to stop at a drive through or something”, he mumbles to himself. “Why didn’t you eat the food you brought us?” You ask setting the food on your desk. Kihyun turns to look at you. “Because I wanted us to eat together like we always do but you were too busy with your little friend and his obnoxious gifts.” You look at him confused. “Obnoxious gifts? They were nice gifts of gratitude.” Kihyun chuckles dryly, “Gifts of gratitude? He wants to go to bed with you y/n. You’re so cute when you’re naive.” You feel yourself getting annoyed “Wow I didn’t know you were the jealous type. It’s not a good look on you.” Kihyun lets out a another chuckle but this one was more genuine “Jealous? Of that head of hair grease? That obvious clip on tie? Those clear lenses that are too small for his face? Those mix matched socks that he probably thinks make him edgy? I have absolutely nothing to be jealous of.” You smile and tilt your head at him. “No not jealous of his looks. Jealous that I was giving someone else attention instead of you.” Kihyun fixes his face after that statement. An ever so subtle tint appears on his cheeks, but of course you notice. “Tulips aren’t your favorite flower right?” “They’re nice but daisies are my favorite.” Kihyun couldn’t help but smile widely at your answer, “I knew it. So not only does that guy have no sense of style he’s also an idiot.” You couldn’t help but laugh at his statement. “Yeah he can come on a little strong sometimes. He also got me dark chocolate. I hate dark chocolate.” You said with a disgusted face. “You love white chocolate.” Kihyun says with a self assured smile. “Bingo.” Kihyun wraps his arms around your waist and kisses your forehead. “Sorry. I was being a jerk earlier. Maybe I was just a tiny bit jealous. I just want all of your attention is that so wrong?” Kihyun says pouting like a baby. You wrap your arms around him, “Just a tiny bit? And of course it’s not wrong baby.” Kihyun giggles, “Ok. Maybe a little bit more than a tiny bit jealous.”

Minhyuk and Shownu coming soon..~

[iwriteficsnottragediesladies]

Search and Seizure pt 9

Request from @x-justtheletter-x: For Search and Seizure, could you do a part where Brendon is in the studio and the reader is inside their house reading/watching TV they don't have enough time to call Brendon or Zach to help, but then Brendon walks after the seizure or something like that please and thank you.

Pre-read Epilepsy Disclaimer

Brendon was having a dry spell in his songwriting. It’s happened before, it usually just takes a few weeks and he’s back at it. Today he woke up ready to go and you love the little glint in his eye when he’s excited. He went out back to the studio.

You didn’t feel great, still sleepy and groggy, so you decided to flick on the tv. You drift back off to sleep.

You woke up and your stomach was tied in knots, being pulled tighter.

Fuck fuck fuck

Your arm started to disappear.

“Bren?!” you tried and your voice weakened, “Bren?”

He’s still in the studio. You struggled and got your phone from the coffee table, fumbling to get to Brendon’s number. He doesn’t usually bring his phone into the studio, but it was worth a try.

You hear his phone ringing in the next room.

Fuck

Your panic spins out of control. You get down on the floor, stepping on poor Bogart in the process. You know you’re way too close to the coffee table but you don’t have the strength to push it out of the way. You were too weak to get anywhere else, so you resigned yourself to this dangerous spot, laying on your side.

Your thoughts were becoming progressively less clear. You have a last minute thought to call Zack but it’s too late. The world dropped away.

It turns out Brendon was not as successful as he had hoped. Everything he recorded just sounded wrong. He decided to take a break, get some water and clear his head.

He walked out of the studio and saw Bogart inside the house, clawing at the glass door, anxiously awaiting his arrival.

“Jesus bud, you gotta go that bad?” Brendon laughed as he opened the door, expecting Bogart to run out into the grass, but he didn’t go anywhere. He just stayed at Brendon’s feet, looking up at him. “Okay, suit yourself,” Brendon shrugged and closed the door.

Brendon walked into the living room and saw the tv on, but the couch unoccupied. He wondered where you were. Probably in the bathroom or getting changed. Bogart jumped up on Brendon, scratching him down his legs.

“Ow, what is your problem?” He said, shaking him off. He strolled towards the kitchen and did a double take.

He saw you on the floor, flat on your back.

“Y/n?” Brendon said in shock as he ran over to you. “Shit shit shit,” he muttered as he threw the coffee table aside to get next to you.

“Y/n?!” he called to you, dropping to his knees. Your body was relaxed and your eyes were open but looking nowhere in particular. He saw blood and spit dripping from each corner of your mouth and quickly rolled you onto your side. Barely anything came out. Something felt wrong to him, like you were barely even breathing at all.

He followed his instincts and places a hand on your chin, gently opening your mouth. Brendon’s glad he did--you were then able to gag and clear the significant amount of blood from your mouth. Your breathing sounded muffled and labored, but at least you were breathing.

“Fuck,” he said quietly. He saw your phone next to you and snatched it up, quickly dialing 911, smudging blood across the screen. He wiped your mouth so it could remain clear as he waited for someone to pick up. None of the blood on your face was dried, so he was hopeful that you hadn’t been lying there long. Why were you on your back? he cursed himself. 

A calm voice answered. Brendon rattles off the answers to all the questions the dispatcher asks, never taking his eyes off of you.

He can’t tell if you’re not waking up as quickly as usual or if time was moving in slow motion. He puts the phone on speaker and texts Zack:

Sos home seizure

That’s the unspoken code of how the band members talk to Zack when they were in a bad situation: importance, where you are, and what’s happening.

Within 10 seconds, he replied:

On my way

Your breathing starts to change and you cough a little.

You concentrate on your surroundings and see that you’re laying on a soft rug. You feel like you need to cough, like you had swallowed water the wrong way. Why? A few feet away you saw a small blob... a figure... a creature... Bogart? Your eyes focus on what’s directly in front of you--there is a person just inches from you. It’s so difficult to move, but you just want to get away. God, why was it so hard to breathe?

You feel a hand on you and you can’t stand lying there defenseless anymore. You do your absolute best to move away, barely able to breathe.

You start to struggle on the ground and Brendon tries to comfort you.

“Y/n, you’re okay,” he says quickly, “It’s okay, baby.”

You end up coughing and gagging, trying to get air in between.

“It’s alright,” he said, “get it all out.”

It finally ends but you are still quietly gasping. You hear a voice.

“Just breathe,” the voice sings, “It’s okay.”

You try to follow the sound of the voice.

Brendon notices, getting lower and putting himself in your line of sight so you can see him.

“Y/n, it’s Brendon,” He informs you sweetly, “I’m right here, you’re safe.”

Your eyes find his face and his expression softens a bit.

“Hi Y/n,” He coos. You are momentarily comforted before being interrupted by a choking sensation that you swallow down. He notices that you are much drowsier than usual. You can barely keep your eyes open.

“C’breathe,” you tried to say. You were so confused that you weren’t sure if Brendon could tell or not. Brendon nodded in understanding.

“I know it’s hard to breathe,” he replied, taking the child-like tone you needed, “The paramedics are coming so they can help you breathe better, okay?”

Normally you’d be pissed that he called 911, but you were too out of it and scared to care.

“Bren,” you gasp.

“I’m right here, Y/n,” He strokes your shoulder.

You notice his hand is covered in blood and so is the phone beside you. You cough out some foamy spit and Brendon wipes it away. The weakness you felt was overwhelming.

“Hey, Y/n, look at me baby,” He said slowly.

You realized you were starting to close your eyes so you open them and do as you’re told. There was something so calming about his eyes.

“Hi Y/n,” he said as he pushed some hair from your face, “Keep looking right at me, baby.”

There’s a loud knock at the door and a voice called out: “Paramedics”

“In here!” Brendon yelled back. The door opened and the team of medics came in, navigating to the living room. You could hear the loud steps of heavy boots entering and the rustling of bags.

“Scared,” you looked at Brendon and squeaked simply. His heart ached.

“I know darlin, I know,” he reassured you as he moved down to your feet, out of the way, “But I’ll be right here, okay?” He places his hand gently on your leg so you know he is there. You nodded.

The medics were obviously concerned with how you’re breathing and quickly began to treat you with an amount of urgency that worried Brendon.

Zack had just pulled up to the house. He saw the ambulance in the driveway and knew it must be bad. He hustled to the door and was stopped.

“Sir, you can’t--”

“That’s my sister!” He asserted and they let him through. He lied about being related to you in medical emergencies--it was easier that way.

You were panicking on the floor as the paramedics put an oxygen mask on you.

“You’re okay,” Brendon reminded you as he rubbed your leg from where he was sitting. Brendon realizes your legs were covered in fresh bruises, probably from hitting the table during your seizure. He felt so guilty that he wasn’t there to protect you.

You hear another pair of footsteps enter the room and make an attempt to look. Brendon looks up as well, feeling relieved to see it’s Zack who gives him a little nod.

“That’s Zack,” Brendon told you sweetly, “He’s here too, okay?”

Zack took note of your difficulty breathing and the sizeable amount of blood on the floor. Fuck. This definitely was not good.

The medics made quick work of getting you loaded into the ambulance.

As they started driving, the paramedic was saying things to his partner, words Brendon had never even heard before.

Tachycardic. Satting. Tachypnea. Stridor.

It heightened his anxiety but he tried to remain focused on you.

Halfway through the ride, you pick your head up to lean over more and start gagging again. The paramedics quickly jump into action, one pulling the oxygen mask to the side while the other is ready with a suction device, pulling the fluid away from you. Brendon makes sure he is out of their way and holds your hair.

“There you go,” one of the paramedics said kindly, “You’re doing great, Y/n.”

Brendon stroked your arm in agreement. It was over relatively quickly and you rest your head back down, returning to your quiet gasps. Your eyes wander over to Brendon in defeat.

“It’s okay, darlin,” Brendon said softly, “It’s okay.”

Once you arrived at the hospital, the medical team continued to treat you hastily. You remained on the oxygen and medication was given to you. It was getting so much easier to breathe, no longer a need to cough and gasp for air.

As Brendon was guessing, you had aspirated on your blood--because you were on your back during the seizure, the blood had nowhere to go and you inhaled it instead. Having that much fluid in your lungs can be incredibly dangerous, even after the fact. The doctor admitted you to the hospital for 24 hours.

Now that you were stable and staying the night, Zack went back to the house to pick up things for you and Brendon.

“Thanks man,” Brendon says as Zack hands over the bag.

“Yeah, ‘course,” Zack replied with a nod, “Do you guys need anything else?”

You looked to Brendon and he shook his head.

“No, I think we’re all set,” You replied with a tired smile.

“Alright,” Zack said, “Call me if you need anything.”

“Thanks Zack,” you coughed and he left.

Brendon turned back to you and your eyes were already heavy with sleep.

“Wanna sleep for a little while?” He suggested.

You just nod and curl up.

“Okay,” he agreed softly.

He sits there just watching you sleep for a few minutes. It brought a smile to his face, feeling so grateful to see you at peace. After a while, he reached into the backpack Zack had dropped off and retrieved his phone. He looked at the screen.

1 missed call Y/n

He felt like he had been punched in the stomach. Guilt sat so deeply in his stomach it made him sick. He should have had his phone. He should have been there for you. He should have prevented all of this.

Instead, you were all alone, terrified and in danger. He sees that your arm strewn over the pillow is covered in bruises. You could have died if he hadn’t found you when he did. God, what if he lost you? It would have been all his fault.

His throat was being held in a vice grip by the sobs he was trying to withhold. Tears streamed down his face as he sniffled, putting his head in his hands. He tried to keep it together, but he started to choke on silent sobs.

He could have lost you and it would have been all his fault.

He’s pulled from his thoughts.

“Bren?” you question in a small voice.

He quickly wiped his tears and smiled, trying to laugh off being caught.

“Hi baby,” he said sweetly, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“‘s okay,” you replied, rolling over. You reached out to him so he sat down on the bed. You happily cuddle up to him and he holds you, endlessly grateful that you were in his arms, safe. You feel him starting to shake and he finally can’t hold in the sob anymore.

“I’m so sorry baby,” he sputtered.

“Brendon--” You try.

“I should have been there,” he continued, “I’m so, so sorry.”

“This isn’t your fault,” you reassured him, “This was completely unexpected. You did nothing wrong. ”

“I could have lost you,” He sobbed, “I can’t--I don’t--”

“I know, I know,” you reply, beginning to cry too, “It was so scary, but now we’re right here. Together. We’re okay. That’s all that matters now, okay?”

He nodded and you buried your face into his side as you both cried.

“I’m so glad you found me when you did,” you whispered with solemn gratitude.

“Wish it was sooner,” He shook his head in disappointment.

“Doesn’t matter, remember?” you reminded him, “We’re here and safe. That’s what matters.”

He sighed with a nod, pulling you closer.

“I love you Bren,” You said softly.

“I love you too, Y/n,” He replied, “So much.”

Gees reader, way to scare the shit out of Brendon! lol. In the comments I will explain each medical term in case you’re curious. Hopefully, you liked this chapter. I have another in the works. Like/reblog if you’re feelin’ it!

@ray—-toro @charliecynthiaa @msbeliever-prettyweeper @darkmoon707 @marine482 @ladevoteeshirts @itsdangerousblues @kenziepayne33 @lizzrossstories @un-surpassable @lolisded @itsdangerousblues @kyky9103 @lizzrossstories @j2minion @graceaudreyjudy

@savannah-m-99

[3kw3dogs]

Home Building Observations

Here we are, years in the making, and we’re actually doing it. Not too far away at all from being able to live in it. I guess really we could live in it now, but I’d really prefer for the insulation to be done first, at the least. Once building started, it’s been a total whirlwind. It feels like we’ve been working on plumbing and electrical for ages, and really it’s only been 2.5 weeks. Holy. Cow. No time at all, and we’re really on the finishing touches at this point.

I wanted to document everything, absolutely every piece of the process. And I think I’ve done alright at that so far. But it’s definitely a balancing act. And sometimes, I’m in total work mode, and don’t even think to pull my phone out of my pocket, much less take pictures or videos of things.

So while I’m thinking about it, I will try to sum up some of the things I’m thinking about, albeit in words and not pictures.

Holden had some quote gems this weekend, which seems a good place to start. 1: “Building a house is like having too many Chrome tabs open at a time." I cannot even begin to explain how true this is. My brain is constantly running through lists of... something. What’s left to do, where’s did I leave that one piece I need, which outlets are tested and good, which wires did I need to tack, what did I need at the store this time, what’s the thing I’m missing..... And on, and on and on. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve woken out of a dead sleep and noted something on my phone, or sent a quick text to Holden to remember and deal with in the morning. We have talked through “next steps” countless times at this point. Always refining the list, making sure we don’t miss anything. It’s not like we can’t go back and do it, if we do miss something. But it’s just so much easier to get everything done in/through the walls before the insulation goes in. 

Thankfully, with most of the larger things done at this point, I’m able to close the tabs such as “what did code say about this particular outlet, how do I need to set this vent stack to be correct”, etc.

2: “I wish I didn’t know so much about houses.” Kind of in line with the first one, I can’t look at a wall now without knowing what’s behind it. Thinking, “huh, why did they do it that way”, or trying to trace the wires. We have an outlet in our unfinished apartment now that’s wiggly and a little sideways, and I laugh at it every single time. Even the pro’s don’t always get them perfectly centered and tight sometimes, I guess. It so happens to be the outlet I plug my laptop in to work, so I start every day thinking about electrical these days.

We marvel at the way things used to be set up, in the houses we grew up in. Cast iron plumbing, for example. In many cases, it eventually rots out, and well, tons of leaking water. Meanwhile, we used PEX for our house. Which lasts, pretty much forever. The fittings can fail, but it’s rare that the PEX itself ever does. It also has some flexibility, can expand and contract, and doesn’t freeze as easily. I think I’m blurring the line now between #1 and #2....

3:  "I've never been simultaneously so close to owning a home mortgage-free and being homeless before." This one... well, it speaks for itself. Renting an unfinished apartment, that is really a drywalled half of a garage is... well, exhausting. We’re so, so close to making the dream a reality and getting done enough to move in. And I have that to look forward to, so being here is a little less exhausting these days. But, still, I anxiously await the day that we actually move our stuff and sleep in OUR house. 

But on the flip side of that, OUR house. Not the bank’s house. OURS. This certainly wasn’t our first plan. Or our second, third, or fourth plans! HA! But, here we are, buy supplies, add them to the budget. Re-calculate. And so on. For sure a construction loan would be more stressful in a lot of ways. And a mortgage would be too. Since we’re building with money we’ve saved though, it really frees us up for lots of things in the future. I have dreams of never, ever needing a loan for anything ever again. Need a new car? Cash. Want an ATV (snow plowing, trail making on our land, etc)? Cash. Build a deck? Cash. I mean, we can always loan against the equity we have. Which, thanks to lumber prices, we have a TON of equity in the house right off the bat. But also, we don’t HAVE to. We can turn the bank down if we don’t like their terms, not the other way around. Financial freedom. I’m looking forward to that.