#right now im that elmo in hellfire meme

[blue-dream-rhapsody]

cfyow and kugo come on you know me by now

Pages 381-387.

I hope you appreciate I had to carry this like a weight tied around my neck all through work last night before I could write my feelings down

[for today’s installment, moments where I whisper-screamed will feature a *]

Pfft Giriko tells Ganju the best way to deal with Yukio is to just put up with being insulted

But shit man Yukio’s taking on the members of Aura’s cult now, too. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it a million more times, but Yukio has grown so much and chosen to follow in Kugo’s footsteps when it comes to gathering under his watch the people who most need it. And just another little thing too, when Kugo cracks that it’ll be tough for him to do while so young, rather than keep complaining or even make a final passing gripe like we’d expect him to, he just bucks up and says he’s got it.

“Want me to tell Jackie and Riruka anything from you?” “Nah as long as they’re doing well it’s better I stay out of their way.” “Okay cool I’ll tell them you said that.” “Why are you such an unpleasant child.”

Seriously though, I think Kugo sees the damage he’s done to them and he cares about them, so he’s trying to set them free from him. But Yukio knows that’s not what they want, they don’t just think of Kugo that way and care about him back, and they’d be happy to hear from him and especially to hear that everything he’s been through is settled and over. So fuck you and your “it’s better this way” bullshit boy you made this bed called found family and now you’re gonna lie in it bitch!!!

SHISHIGAWARA HAS NOT BEEN FORGOTTEN*

HE GOES TO TSUKISHIMA’S GRAVE*

TSUKISHIMA HAS... A GRAVE? As in a place to be remembered. A permanent fixture so people know he was there, that he lived and bled and died and that someone knew his name. I’m as surprised as he is that he has one and I’m hurting that he’s surprised he has one (for probably the same reasons I was).*

Also hurting that he’s now able to say he wants Moe to forget about him when it’s Moe’s unyielding devotion to him that gave him peace as he died. It means he’s in a place now where he’s not afraid of being alone the way he used to be. And also in a place where he can want better for this kid too, even if it isn’t advantageous for himself. Tsukishima has become capable of caring about someone else.

Also he’s protective apparently because Kugo jokes that Moe is annoying and Tsukishima replies with a look that says “try me bitch” because the last time Kugo said anything about him it was “kill him once he’s useless” (but Kugo absolutely feels good about getting that response out of him, because it means he’s changed)

Also can we make memes about Tsukishima 1) wanting everybody to read more books constantly like he’s some kind of library mascot with a catchphrase and 2) being entirely indiscriminate about what he’s reading by replacing the book he’s holding with every terribly rated book ever including 50 Shades and YA slush

Here come Kyoraku to talk to Kugo on Ukitake’s behalf oH BOY MY HEART’S ALREADY STOPPIN

Wait are they opening up the Seireitei to like everybody?? The whole Rukongai??? Holy shit I love it. Trash the nobles’ yards guys do it make Byakuya c r y

HE GIVES KUGO VOLUME ONE OF UKITAKE’S STORY HOLY FUCK*

Okay the book thing is gonna be its own subsection here

Kugo: this sounds like a cheesy romance drama Kyoraku, standing right there, author of the literal worst-rated serialization in the Bulletin which is in fact a cheesy romance drama: *sweats*

aw but it’s touching, Kyoraku trying to show Kugo a different side of Ukitake in case it would help with his healing—

Tsukishima: oh I’ve read that whole thing

Kugo:

Me:

Tsukishima: it’s really good for a children’s series. By the way I read this before you knew the author wasn’t personally responsible for your lifetime of suffering

Tsukishima: also it’s probably based on your whole deal with each other

Kugo:

Tsukishima: so, book club?

Seriously I don’t even know how that works being based on their relationship like who the FUCK IS THE SHRINE MAIDEN IN THIS SCENARIO

But even so I’m losing my fucking mind that THE MOST BELOVED BULLETIN SERIALIZATION was directly influenced by KUGO FUCKING GINJO, WANTED CRIMINAL EXTRAORDINAIRE

UKITAKE I LOVE YOU i mean it’s super touching and sobering yeah but it’s also just really fucking funny iM SORRY

When it gets down to their real conversation though, Kugo’s got no use for all these pleasantries and he’s not going to pretend he didn’t do anything wrong, even if he regrets it now. He even preempts that he’s still going to be punished for defecting, and can’t understand how Kyoraku can just throw around letting it go so readily. Honestly, I don’t think the possibility of being vindicated ever crossed his mind. Or of anyone apologizing or feeling bad for his side of things. The fact that he’s so reactive to Kyoraku’s sentiments says that he still very much has a lot of this inside him—if they hadn’t had this conversation, or if Kyoraku had been any less sincere and patient, I don’t think Kugo would’ve ever gained real closure. Like it’s one thing to no longer blame Ukitake, but it’s another to have the Court Guards finally and officially acknowledge that what happened to him was wrong.

I knew Ukitake would’ve definitely appealed to both Captain Generals about letting Kugo be, but glad it’s confirmed both to us and to him.

Wait so I guess they did meet in person at some point? Ukitake came in to defend his men and actually tried to strike back at Kugo apparently. I guess this might be part of the explanation for why he put everything on Ukitake specifically, on top of the badge being his responsibility. Also, Ukitake was prepared to die at Kugo’s hand during that attack. If it weren’t for his duty to his soldiers, he might’ve just let him kill him.*

I think Ukitake’s grave was the only place for Kugo’s arc in the novel to end (be it the figurative or literal sense). It’s the ultimate sign of respect, and of him being ready to let go. I’d been expecting that Kyoraku would have to bring/invite him out there to ever see him go, but the fact that he’s the one to ask where it is shows that he sincerely believes everything Kyoraku has told him.*

His march is finally over.

And y’all, I think this is it. I think he gets briefly mentioned again before the novel closes out, so I’ll hold off a bit longer to air my final thoughts on everything and make sure there’s nothing else to cover.

But I will say right now that, if this is his last appearance here, as a conclusion to his character arc I am not disappointed with it.