#right now im attempting that with. something else. a silent film idea from a few years ago

[bisclavret]

compiling some story vibes

[decaytown]

Kat has started a new group: movie night next saturday!!!

Kat has added Sunny to the group!

Kat has added Jenny to the group!

Kat has added Lewis to the group!

Kat has added Noah to the group!

Kat: so… who's in?

Sunny: ya i don't have anything better to do

Kat: :)

Sunny has changed the group title to movie night next saturday!!!! be there or ur a bitch

Lewis: Unfortunately, I believe I have several tasks to attend to Saturday night. The shop has been closed far too often as of late.

Sunny: lol confirmed

Sunny has changed Lewis's name to Bookfucker69!

Bookfucker69: How did you do that? I would appreciate it if you changed my name back.

Sunny: admin rights bitch

Sunny: get some

Jenny: wait

Jenny: how'd you get admin

Jenny: admined?

Jenny: i wanna be one!!

Sunny: ask kat nicely :)

Jenny: ??

Kat has made Jenny an admin of the group!

Jenny: oh

Jenny: FUCK yes

Sunny: youre green now

Jenny: im green now

Kat: okay! jenny do you know if you're free saturday?

Jenny: um maybe! i really wanna!!!!

Sunny: can you type in something like

Sunny: less eye-searing

Noah: hey jenny

Noah: so there's a web comic I think you'll enjoy

Jenny: oh?

  Watching movies with Jenny is easy, because she has, like, twenty years of film to catch up on, so you wind up with a bunch of ‘90s classics that she and Kat have been curating, which is cool. But she has to leave sometime around midnight which leaves you and Kat sitting on opposite sides of the couch that's technically her bed, which is weird enough in itself, but like, man, this sucks. This sucks so much.

“What do you want to watch next?” Kat asks, which is the first thing she's said since you waved goodbye to Jenny. You've just been idly flipping through channels, glancing at Kat out of the corner of your eye, watching as blue light steadily flickers across her face. She isn't looking at you.

“I don't really care,” you say. “I don't wanna watch any more Disney, though. If I have to listen to another princess singing I'll die.”

“Oh,” Kat says. “Um, okay. I'll see what we have, then!”

The door swings open, and you silently thank Jenny for coming back to interrupt whatever the fuck this is, but when you turn around, it's Noah who walks through the entrance.

“Thought you weren't coming,” you say, and he shrugs.

“I had work, but it's not like I was gonna miss movie night with y’all.”

“Get in here,” you say, and you toss a piece of popcorn at him.

“So,” Noah says, planting his hands on the back of the couch, “what're we watching?”

“Um,” you say, and Kat says, “We haven't really decided yet!”

“Cool, great,” Noah says. “I wanna watch a horror movie.”

“Um, I don't know,” Kat says, and Noah sighs and comes around to sit cross-legged on the floor in front of the couch.

“Gimme the remote,” he demands, and Kat hands it down. “We’re gonna be adults about this and scroll through Netflix for the next three hours until we all agree. Also, I want a pillow.”

You throw the pillow at his head, and he's like, ow, fuck, that was uncalled for, and then Kat sits up straighter and says, “What about that one? I hear it's good, it has that one guy in it?”

She’s stopped Noah on a generic-looking romance movie, and you're like, “If I have to see one more heterosexual couple trying to eat each others’ faces I'll leave. Like, really.”

“Okay, that's fine!” Kat says at the same time that Noah says, “I hear it has vampires in it, though?”

“Okay,” you say, because Kat sounds super disappointed and you kind of hate that? “I can do vampires.”

Noah snorts, and he's like, “I bet,” and you throw another pillow at his face as he queues up the movie. It's super generic, actually, and as it turns out, the vampire in question is a dude, so you can't even be interested in a set of sharp teeth. You resign yourself to flicking through your phone and, like, browsing Facebook or something.

The plot is kinda confusing and not that great, from what you can gather through the osmosis of half-watching. The next time you look up, some semblance of a love scene is playing, and you open your mouth to make some kind of joke about how absolutely horny the producers were. Onscreen, the male lead drags his hand down his love interest’s pale throat, and your throat closes up and –

and you can't breathe.

Your heart is pounding so loud that you can't hear the next few lines of dialogue. Kat says something and Noah laughs loudly in response, the sound muffled in your ears. You're nauseous and dizzy, and you clench your fists in your lap, ragged nails digging into your palms hard enough to draw blood, hard enough to hurt, and you need to get out of here, you need to leave, but you're stuck, frozen in place on the couch.

You can't move. You can't move, and then something brushes against your leg, and Kat says, “Sunny? Noah asked if you want more popcorn.”

You must have managed to make some sort of noise in response, because. Kat says, “Sunny?” again, and then: “Are you okay?”

“No,” you grind out in-between gasping breaths.

“Shit,” Noah says, and then things are suddenly very bright. He's standing next to the lamp on the side table, which is way too close and also not helping with the fact that you can't breathe and you're gonna die. The noise of the television has stopped for now, the picture frozen.

“What's wrong?” Kat asks. Your vision is blurry, wavering in and out, but you can imagine the worried crease between her brows.

“I don't know,” you manage. “I don't – I –”

“Aw, dude,” Noah says. “You're having a panic attack.”

“Feels like I'm dying.” Your voice sounds tinny and far away. Nothing is real. Your hands belong to someone else, probably?

“Yeah, um, that happens!” Kat says. “It'll pass, I promise.” There's the sudden pressure of a hand on your shoulder and you flinch away, pressing into the side of the couch cushions. “Alright, that's fine! I won't touch you.”

“Hey,” Noah says. “Hey, look at me for a. minute.” You raise your eyes to meet his. “Do me a favor and try to breathe, okay?”

“I can't, I – it’s like –” You loosely grip the fabric of your shirt, like it'll ease the band of pressure around your chest. “I can't.”

“Okay, what do you need? We can give you some more space.”

“I need, I – I need to leave. I want to be alone,” you manage, clenching your fists harder. Ten bright spots of pain. “Please.”

“Yeah, no problem,” Noah says at the same time that Kat says, “I really don't think that's a good idea?” They have some sort of quiet, whispered exchange above you as you curl farther into yourself, squeezing your eyes shut in an attempt to banish the images flooding your mind. You don't want to think about it. You don't want to think about it.

You don't –

You don't know when, or if it stops. The buzzing in your head doesn't subside, just gets quieter and quieter, leaving you shivering in a ball on the couch. Uncurling yourself from the tense ball you'd formed takes more energy than it should, and your muscles ache as if you've been in a fight, so you kind of shakily drag yourself back into a sitting position.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” That's Kat. Oh, fuck, that's Kat.

You try really hard to say that you're fine, you're super great now actually and you would love if you could leave right now immediately, but that's clearly not happening, because you. open your mouth and immediately double over with a choked half-sob. You hate this. You hate this, you hate this, you hate this.

“Um, not good, then?” You shake your head no, like, what does it look like? “It's okay! That was probably, um, pretty intense? So it might take a second for you to start feeling better.”

Clearly it's taking more than a second, but you take a shaky breath, try to steady your hands. “God. Okay.” Your voice wavers on the last word, and you press the heels of your palms against your eyes, rub so hard that you see stars. When the fuck did were you crying this much? “God. Sorry. I just – I don't really know –” Your voice cracks again, and you bite your lower lip to keep it from wobbling. You hate this.

“Well, you don't have to apologize, dude.” Noah emerges from – you guess the kitchen? You really have not explored enough of the house to know where shit is. He's walking towards you like a normal person, at a normal pace, but your heart skips a beat anyways, because apparently you're being anxious about this now! Why the fuck not?

If Noah notices, he doesn't say anything, just awkwardly pats you on the shoulder and tries to hand you something. It's only after he says, “Here, you should probably drink this,” that it registers that he's offering you a mug.

You take it with both hands, since you're not feeling incredibly steady at the moment. “What is it?”

“Just water.” There's a pause, and then he adds, “We're out of clean cups. Also, if you want anything else to drink, let me know. We have… hotttt water?” He sits cross-legged on the floor beneath you again, leaning back on his arms. “Also probably coffee, but you can't have that because it's mine, and also because I don't want to be responsible for killing you.”

That's, like, a lot of information at once, so you cautiously sip at the water. It's shockingly cold – Noah put in a few ice cubes, and you're not sure why that touches you so much – and it doesn't bring you all the way back down, but it helps. You only kind of want to peel all the skin off your body now.

“Thanks,” you remember to say as you set the mug down with still-trembling hands. “I'm – I didn’t mean to, I don't know what – That sort of came out of nowhere?” You scrub at your face, suddenly exhausted.

“Have you had panic attacks before?” Noah asks.

“No,” you say, and then amend it to, “Not that I can remember.” Noah’s like, the fuck? and you shrug. “The past few years have been really fuzzy? I mean, there were – after I escaped, I had – similar things,” you say hesitantly. “But that was, like, it was a clarity issue? And my clarity is – it's fine.”

“Really,” Noah says skeptically, and you curl the fingers of your left hand into a fist, hiding the healing puncture wound from that one time where you stabbed yourself and then killed a guy and your clarity was just so good.

“Really,” you say.

“Can I ask,” Kat says. The beginnings of a headache are throbbing painfully at your temples, but you turn to look at her anyways. “Did something, um… Was there a particular trigger? Like, something we can avoid next time?”

You –

(you can't move you are frozen in place / His hand trailing down your neck / thumb resting on your windpipe long talons curling around your throat / precious you are precious do you see how delicate you are? how beautiful it is to be so delicate / you choke on flowers.)

“No,” you say tersely. You swallow back bile.

Kat's going on about, like, okay if you're sure but just know that we'll accommodate anything it really isn't a problem just let us know! and, unbidden, tears spring to your eyes. You feel like shit, still shaky and nauseous and awful, shivering under a cold sweat. It's too cold suddenly, and you fold inward on yourself, rocking back and forth, arms wrapped around your churning stomach as Kat speaks. You want –

Well, what you want has never mattered.

Kat actually notices and stops mid-sentence, touches your shoulder lightly to get your attention. “Um, are you cold? I can get a blanket.”

The thought of being trapped under a heavy blanket is very unappealing right now, so you just shake your head miserably.

“You sure? I'm, like, the king of pillow mountain down here, I'm sure I can spare a few if you want,” Noah says.

Kat’s half-kneeling next to you, her hand hovering just above your shoulder, and you unconsciously lean into the touch, then jerk back, because she 0% wanted that, what the fuck were you thinking?

Kat's silent for a long second, and then she says, “Do you want… Is it okay if I touch you?”

If you open your mouth, you're gonna say something embarrassing, like oh my God please, so you just shrug listlessly. Kat waits another beat before wrapping an arm around your shoulders, tugging you towards her so you're kind of leaning against her side, knees drawn up to your chest.

“Is this okay?” she asks.

“Yeah,” you say hoarsely, your head coming down to rest against her shoulder. She’s very, very still, her thumb rubbing tiny circles into your upper arm, and the tension slowly begins to bleed out of your body. It's easier to think about it now, listening to Kat’s rhythmic breathing with your eyes squeezed tightly shut.

“Um,” you say, and Kat’s motions pause for a second. “I don't – In general, I don't really have – like, these things don't bother me anymore, you know?”

“That is… not how any of this works,” Noah says.

It's easier to talk about it when you don't have to look at either of them, and the words just keep tumbling out. “And it's stupid, it's so completely stupid, because, like – there's worse shit, you know? I've done worse shit, I do it so that this doesn't happen, yknow?”

“I really don't.”

“Like.” Your hands curl into fists. “Like, in the movie. When he touched her. I – my keeper –”

“You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to,” Kat says.

You shrug minutely. “I don't really care? Like – I used to let shit happen to me so it wouldn't bother me anymore, and it shouldn't, right? Everyone's all, Sunny, why do you fuck men if you’re a lesbian? And it's like, glamour, yeah, but also so I'm not scared anymore? Like, if I can show my brain that I'm in control, then – then…” You swallow hard. “At this point, it's just fucking stupid.”

“Hey,” Noah says. “What the actual fuck? Didn't anybody tell you that exposure therapy is bullshit?”

“I wouldn't say that it's stupid,” Kat says. “It sounds like you have legitimate triggers that you need to work around, because, um, what I think Noah is trying to say is that constantly exposing yourself to triggering things isn't exactly a healthy coping mechanism?”

That's super not what you want to hear, actually! You don't want to be like this forever. It's been two fucking years; you should be at least semi-functional now, but you're not. You don't want this.

You don't even realize what you're doing until Kat says, “Hey, maybe don't do that?” and kind of prizes open your right hand. Your fingers have been clenched so tightly that the cuts in your palms are bleeding again, little dots of red. You brace for the inevitable lecture, but Kat just slides her hand inside yours, preventing you from doing any more damage.

“Dude, we need to get you better methods to ground yourself.”

“Methods to what?”

“Wow, you really did get dumped out here with, like, no coping mechanisms, huh?” Noah says, and Kat is like, Yeah, we live in a society as he jumps to his feet. “Oh! Wait right here, don't move, I'm gonna go get something!”

“Don't think I'm going anywhere,” you say, nestling your head into the crook of Kat’s shoulder. You don't feel like you're gonna pass out and die anymore, which is great, but the panic has been replaced by a bone-deep exhaustion.

Noah skids back into the room a second later, holding a cardboard box of something that rattles in both hands. “Okay! Okay, so, when I used to have panic attacks, back when I was a kid – Scoot over, by the way.” It takes you a second to comprehend the request before you comply; Kat shifts over but doesn't move her arm from your shoulders. You're glad. It's a comforting pressure.

Noah wedges himself between your left arm and the couch cushions. “Anyways. Back then, my therapist taught me how to, like, deal with shit. So when I got anxious –” He produces a black sharpie from the box. “– I drew dicks on myself.”

“Do not draw dicks on me.”

“No, listen! It's a grounding exercise, right? Instead of focusing on what's making you anxious, you have to focus on how you're feeling, what you're feeling. It's a thing!”

“I don't wanna think about what I'm feeling,” you mumble, words muffled into Kat’s shoulder.

“Well, there's your problem, then!” Noah uncaps the marker, but doesn't move, and you realize that he's waiting for your go-ahead.

“Just don't draw any dicks on me.”

“But that's the best part!” Noah whines.

“You may draw a dick… once,” you say.

Noah’s like, “Sick!” and passes a green marker over to Kat, which, like, at least that one's washable? Small mercies.

The marker vaguely tickles as Noah starts drawing something with broad, sweeping lines on the inside of your left forearm. Kat has your right hand, and she's drawing something detailed across your palm. You keep your eyes closed, like, maybe if you try hard enough Noah's thing will work. Also, maybe if you try hard enough, you can take a nap. You're very comfortable right now.

“Wow,” you say. “I'm cured forever. Who knew a magic marker was all I needed?”

“Shut up,” Noah says, the hint of a smile in his voice.

Noah was like, you have to focus on how you're feeeeling, but you don't want to do that, ever, in your life, so you just try to focus on the pressure of your friends’ bodies against yours, try to match Kat’s even breathing. She's warm and solid beneath you, and from where your head is nestled between her neck and shoulder, you can hear her heart beating, way faster than yours.

You're not sure that this is what Noah meant. You don't feel, like, calmer, or less likely to panic, but between the two of them, their touch is solid and real. It's not much, but it's enough to hold onto.

[ofscavenging]

ben/rey/kyle chatzy

Rey the darkness was creeping up in her again. though the light had been dominant within her, she’d lately been feeling the aggression overpower the compassion. ben, ravana, snoke, everyone was taking part in her descent. when she entered her suite, she knew ben would be there. but she couldn’t find it within her to be nervous or afraid. just... empty. along with her emptiness came a longing for her old life, of isolation. she was wearing her beige-colored scavenger rags, hair tied up into three buns, and tears staining her cheeks. she looked just as she did when strapped to that interrogation bench on starkiller base. her lightsaber fell harshly to the ground, slipping from her loosened grip, as she slowly closed the door behind her. she stood in the middle of the living room, face streaked with grease from repairing the falcon, and awaited her chastisement.

Ben it seemed as if every conversation ben had with rey lately had become an argument of some sorts, an attempt at a negotiation that went wrong or one of them confronting the other about an issue. they hadn't been peaceful and loving with each other the way they had before the masquerade ball, and it brought a heavy amount of weight to rest on ben's shoulders while he also tried to find it within him to continue progress with the attack on snoke. he still hadn't mentioned it to rey, but sensed that she knew about it, and it only brought another layer of guilt to his tired state of mind. today, however, ravana had informed him that rey had tried to attack her yet again, even after he'd stopped her just days before. he was exhausted at having to play mediator between the two - it took quite a bit out of him. ben sat at his desk, resting his head in his hands when he heard the thud, and he turned around immediately to see her lightsaber on the ground and rey standing there, silent and with a deadpanned expression. he rose slowly, his arms moving to cross over his chest as he frowned. "what did you do today?"

Rey: i’m almost to the dentist so i might take a bit to reply hahahahhaha

Rey: nsnsnwhsjsns*

Ben: no worries good luck!!

Rey: i’m all done yeet

Rey: on my way home

Ben: nICE

Rey joined the chat 77 days ago

Rey: AY im here

Rey the disappointment was almost tangible in the air as she heard him rise to his feet. she stood there like a criminal who was awaiting a death sentence from a judge. empty eyes were still on the floor, hands loosely to her sides. he spoke to her like a schoolmaster would chide a student. asking her what she did even though it was obvious he already knew. finally, her gaze moved to the side, rather than directly below her, even if her expression did not waver. she couldn't even think to formulate a reply in her mind. rather than responding, she just turned and began slowly sulking towards the spare bedroom, head hanging once again. ignoring him seemed, in her head, better than facing him and dealing with his anger. there was no doubt he was, anyway. she was sure it was as bad as it looked; her purposefully evading him and his question, and instead moving to hide away in her room. it was technically true. she just knew that if he yelled, or reprimanded her in any way, she would not react with the fear or frustration that she usually would. she didn't have the emotional strength for it.

Ben: sorry i had to eat bagel bites and watch more of the film ugh

Rey: LOL i feel

Rey: im still tryin to think of an idea

Rey: apparently its only has to be 5-8 minutes

Ben: oh good hmmm channeling rp stuff works for me sometimes! like expanding on a mini plot or something like that

Rey: tru

Ben ben waited for a moment for her to respond, but when she didn't, he let his arms fall to his sides. his eyebrows furrowed as he watched her sulk away, as if she were a child arriving home from a tedious day of school, and he let out an exasperated sigh. he hated how this had become the new normal for them; speaking to each other as if they were coworkers or even more simply, roommates. hesitantly, ben sat back down at his desk, remaining silent and turning to give her space for a few minutes. he didn't want to bring up yet another conflict, though he knew he had to. the silence and tension in the suite was becoming unbearable, and finally he rose again, following her into the spare bedroom that was barely even touched by either of them. leaning against the doorway, he lifted an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to speak. when she didn't, he gave in. "rey," ben began, his voice stern and monotone, "i'm holding your word above hers. but did you attack ravana? today?"

Rey perching herself on the edge of the bed, rey rested her hands on her thighs and simply stared at the floor again. her eyes took notice of her scraggly boots, which had been worn from years of scavenging on jakku. the wraps that made up her outfit were dirtied, yet familiar. she wondered how it would be to fade back into that life. probably easier. there was no one to let down. she heard him enter the threshold, and her chest clenched slightly in nervousness, but she still didn't move, keeping her gaze down. it was silent for a bit, knowing he was expecting her to speak, but still not bringing herself to. his question struck a nerve in her, yet she was still frozen solid, breathing steadily in and out. a full minute or so passed before she nodded slightly then turned her head away.

Ben he could feel himself growing impatient, but he forced himself to think calmly and rationally, not wanting to lash out at her anymore. he was tired of it, surely she was tired of it, and it clearly wasn't getting them anywhere. so he waited for her response, and when she finally nodded, he let his gaze fall to the ground. he was disappointed, yes, but oddly not surprised. after her reaction the other day, he was sure that the two were bound to collide in one way or another the next time they crossed paths, and inevitably it had happened. he wouldn't have been surprised if ravana had somehow provoked her, but he couldn't be sure. "please," ben spoke desperately, his voice strained and tired now, "please stay away from each other. it will be much easier once you do, i promise - i can't be watching you two constantly and having to act as a mediator! i proposed a solution to this problem and it simply won't work if you keep ending up at each other's throats." he let out yet another sigh, holding back from scolding her any further. "i just want things to be the way they were again, rey. with us, as a team. not at odds every moment of the day."

Rey he sounded just as exhausted as she felt. his voice became firmer, to the point where he shouted, but even still, not a single reaction was seen from rey. nothing, not even a blink. she wanted that too. more than anything. she was just afraid that, with everything going on, it wouldn't be possible to rediscover that bond with him again. would ravana still be in the way? would ben continue formulating plans behind her back? would snoke kill one of them before they could even try to reconnect? it was all too much. for a girl who had nothing her whole life, she had been spoiled. she'd been given everything. a father, a mother, many friends. and a man who loved her immensely. now it was all being ripped away from her in an instant and she had no idea to react to it. which is why she'd just... shut down. finally her eyelids slowly fell shut for a long few seconds before opening again. when they did, tears shone in her eyes. she was not hurt. she was not angry, or sad. she was terrified. terrified of losing him, of never being able to be the same.

Rey joined the chat 77 days ago

Ben when he'd finally managed to finish his spiel of thoughts, he simply stared at her, waiting for any sort of remark or response from her. but she remained still, and for a moment he wondered if she'd completely tuned out everything he had said, which caused him to become more frustrated. but no, he could tell that she had heard him. and since she seemingly didn't have anything to say back to him, ben groaned in annoyance, half-tempted to walk away and let her be. but he wanted to resolve this. he wouldn't be able to focus on anything else if they didn't. so instead he stepped towards her, kneeling down in front of her seat on the bed and staring up at her. ben noticed her tears, and he let out a breath before speaking. "i'm not going anywhere until you talk to me." his tone was softer, yet still firm. "i'll stay here all night if i have to, i don't care."

Rey rey had been fully expecting him to turn and walk away, to leave her alone and only deepen the crevices in their relationship. it was only fitting that she was wearing her desert garbs again, looking just as she'd appeared when he'd first encountered her. but oh, how they had both changed. infinitely. when he moved to kneel in front of her, though, her breathing quickened slightly, quiet inhales and exhales leaving her parted lips. she could feel him beckoning her to meet his eyes, to give some sort of a response. a million thoughts jumbled in her head, though. how could she explain what was happening? but then she realized she didn't need to. the true way for him to understand her emotions was to feel it himself. her eyes lifted to his, expression weary, then slowly reached for his hand before lifting it to her chest, pressing it right above where her heart was. then she opened up her every emotion to him. now he would feel the resounding fear, the horror that rang through her mind when it came to losing him. he would see it was why she had attacked ravana, why she was so desperate for her to be gone. she wouldn't be apart from him; never.

Ben ben waited patiently this time, hoping she'd finally give him something to work with. but instead she took his hand, and he grew confused when she placed it on her chest until he realized what she was doing. he allowed in her emotions; the worry, the pain, the hurt, everything that showed in her eyes. a shiver ran down his spine as he took them in himself, and he found it hard not to let any tears fall from his own eyes. she was terrified of losing him just as he couldn't bear to lose her. she truly had become his light; without her, there was no doubt that he would slip back into the dark side fully, possibly even laying himself back at snoke's feet as there would be no reason for him to continue pushing forward. she had been the first to believe in him, or so it seemed, and he refused to let her go because of some obstacles in their way. "rey," he spoke her name again, bringing his free hand to cup her cheek. "you could never lose me, okay? i'm not going anywhere...i'll always be here...i l-lo-" the words were slow to come out due to his trembling voice, double the emotions filling him as he looked into her eyes. of course he'd said the words before, but now they held more meaning than ever. "i love you. i won't lose you no matter what."

Rey now he would finally feel all the doubts, all the fears she had been keeping inside her about their relationship. it wasn't that she was pulling away from him; it was that she felt too close to him. to where everything else that was possibly in the way would tear them apart, even little things such as ravana holding his hand or snoke talking down on him. she was sobbing by the time he said her name, nestling her cheek into his hand with a few sniffs. the words, when he'd said them before, had always just felt like filler, something he could blindly promise but not defend. but now... now it felt real. like nothing would be able to penetrate the truth behind them. slowly, she sunk down onto the floor, on his lap, and wrapped her arms around his neck, staring up into his eyes with love and desperation. "i-i love you too..." she cried, finally speaking at last. it was the only thing in her mind that was making sense. her small body trembled in his arms. it was obvious then how much she loved him, and how it was truly scaring her to feel so deeply for another. that whenever he left the house, whenever he spoke to others, whenever he did anything besides be with her... she had to fear for his disappearance. "p-please don't let her... don't let her..." she cried, unable to finish her sentence. but he would know what she meant.

Ben when she moved into his lap finally, he cradled her close, moving his hand to stroke the back of her head gently. as he felt the familiar three buns she'd had when he'd first seen her, a small smile formed on his lips. he'd been intrigued by her, completely fascinated from the beginning, but it had developed into so much more. never that day had he thought they would be here, now, like this. hearing her voice as soon as her eyes met his caused his smile to grow, a few stray tears leaving his eyes as he leaned his forehead against hers. she was the only one he could cry in front of; he refused to allow it with anyone else. when she began to plead shakily, ben moved a hand to her chin, holding her face steady. "i won't," he affirmed, his eyes locked on hers with strong determination. "no one will. no one. it's just you and me."

Rey just the two of them. the sound of that was like music to her ears. she sobbed again and nodded her head, eyes falling shut. but now the tears were not sad, or fearful. they were joyous. relieved. she reached up to stroke away his own with her thumbs then leaned up and kissed him passionately, arms wrapping around his neck again. it was selfish to still want more, to need more. he was already promising her his everything, vowing he would never leave. yet she felt envious as she pictured the couples she saw in the palace plaza. the husband and wife with small children, who looked overwhelmingly happy all together. she wanted that. for both of them. but he didn't. maybe never. however... it didn't pull her away from him in any way. whatever he wanted... she would accept. finally pulling away, she sniffed and readjusted herself on his lap then brought his hands down and removed his gloves gently, her hands shaking. there was nothing else that compared to feeling his bare touch. once his hands were freed, she played with his fingers for a moment then brought them to her lips, eyes meeting his again as she smiled lovingly against his hand.

Ben ben kissed her back with equal fervor, overjoyed and relieved that it wasn't out of boiling tensions or frustrations, but pure love instead. when had they last truly been like this? it seemed like not since that day after the doctor, when they'd vowed to stand by each other no matter what happened. but now they could finally move past all of the troubles that they'd been faced with lately and focus on everything together. that reminded him - the plans. he didn't want to risk upsetting rey any further, so he would tell her about the plans - he would include her even if she protested. but he didn't want her to be uninformed and in the dark. allowing her to remove his gloves, a soft smile formed as she kissed his fingers, which rubbed her bottom lip gently. ben wanted to ease her into the details, and he could tell that she'd had a long, stressful day. "why don't i draw you a bath?" he suggested, tilting his head slightly as he leveled his gaze with her. "i'm sure you'll feel good once you're all cleaned up."

Rey when his fingers stroked over her full bottom lip, rey gently bit down on the tip of one, smiling yet again then finally releasing it to take his hands in hers again. his suggestion was new, but definitely not unwelcome. plus, she knew she needed one badly; after a long day of working on the falcon in the heat, she had gotten somewhat dirty from it. not to mention the grease stains that still lined her cheeks and forehead. "okay..." she whispered, blushing and smiling shyly as he tilted his head to level his gaze with her. she loved when he did that, lowering his larger stature down to capture her attention further. she nodded in agreement, knowing she would, then wrapped her legs around him, keeping her arms linked around his neck. a clear sign that she wanted him to carry her. her head nestled on his shoulder, and she kept her eyes locked on his, a small smile tugging at her lips as her final tears dried on her cheeks. he was perfect. everything he was, everything he would be... she would never stop loving him until the day she died.

Ben at her agreement, ben felt her wrap herself around him even tighter, and he let out a soft chuckle. he knew she didn't want to get up on her own, and as usual he didn't mind carrying her. wrapping his arms underneath her legs, he lifted her easily, rising to stand up himself as he led them both into the master bathroom. neither of them had had much time for baths, usually opting for a quick shower instead, but the suite had provided them with a deluxe jacuzzi bathtub that could finally get put to use. he set her down gently on the edge of the tub, reaching towards the faucet and beginning to draw the warm water. carefully, he helped her remove the rags from her arms, unwrapping them as his eyes darted to hers again. "no more bandage?" he questioned, noticing that it had been removed. "all healed up?" ben examined her arm carefully, relieved to see that the small wound had been healing quite well.

Rey it felt so natural, so soothing to be held by him like this. it was like their bodies were sculpted to fit perfectly against one another's, even in this positioning. she was sad when he finally had to set her down, but she opted to keep one of his hands to hold onto with both of hers, letting him use one to draw the water. she'd never had a proper bath before, and she knew it would feel good. she allowed him to unwrap her arms with the bandages she'd used for years on jakku, to protect herself from the sun, smiling softly at how cautious and gentle he was being. his question made her tilt her head in confusion, but she looked down at her arm, realizing what he was referring to. "yeah," she whispered, nodding and smiling again as she met his eyes. she turned her arm so he could see that the stitches were removed, and only a small scar remained. there was still the issue of the bruises lining her chest and neck, from phasma's attack, but she assumed he would recall the situation once he saw them. but it only made her remember more, and guilt hit her hard as she looked up at him. "ben, i have to tell you something else..." she admitted, sighing slightly. "i... attacked phasma again too... earlier today... i just felt..." she shook her head and closed her eyes, ducking her head down shamefully. now she was fully expecting reprimanding, and wouldn't be mad if he had to get firm.

Ben "i'm glad," he spoke softly in response, setting the rags in a pile before preparing to remove her boots. before he did, he noticed the small scar she was referring to, and remembered how much worse it had seemed when the procedure had taken place. "wow, the doctors on this planet are really on top of things," he commented, pulling the boots off of her feet and setting them next to the arm rags. but hearing her words again made the familiar anxious feeling return, and ben met her gaze again, his eyes filling with concern. hearing her admit that she'd attacked phasma struck him by surprise, as he hadn't even been aware that the two had officially crossed paths. "rey...ravana i can understand because of circumstances, but...why phasma? if she's threatened you, i'll speak with her as well, just..." suddenly his eyes moved to her chest, her lower neckline revealing a few bruises that he'd previously assumed were from ravana. "did she...?" he questioned worriedly, moving to run a finger along her skin carefully. they were healing, but still visible. "kriff, rey...the next time you find yourself in a situation like that, summon me. i'll take care of it. just...don't try to fight them on your own." ben sighed again, wishing there wasn't such harsh relations between his comrades and the woman he loved. but until tensions with the government were improved, it was unlikely that the two would get along anytime soon. "just...please, don't do it again. i don't want you getting hurt any more."

Rey her eyes had been locked on his hands as they gently eased her boots off of her feet, but they drifted cautiously back up to his after she had made her confession. he wasn't happy, she could already tell. but he had every right to be upset. she knew she had done him wrong, even if her emotions hadn't exactly been balanced at the time. the guilt still hit her heavily. "...she... she didn't, but she..." she trailed off with a small sigh, closing her eyes in relaxation as his finger ran along her upper chest, where the tops of the bruises peeked out. rey frowned slightly as he told her to call for him instead next time. she had wanted to prove to phasma and ravana that she could hold her own against them, that she didn't need to have ben fight for her. "i'm sorry..." she whispered gently, feeling horrible for worrying him so much. she knew that if he came home with bruises like these, she would hunt down his attacker without a second thought; it must be torturous for him to go through this. but something poked at the back of her mind that she just couldn't ignore. "but ben..." she added, sitting up straighter so he could undo her belt and dress wrap next. she looked hesitantly into his gentle eyes, dark like his hair. "i fought phasma because... because she told me something i didn't want to believe... b-but now i'm terrified it's true..." she bit her lip nervously and finally asked. "are you and general hux planning without me...? with her...?"

Ben he glanced up at her when she apologized, his eyes still sad, but they assured her gently that she was forgiven. he would always forgive her, no matter what. and he made a mental note to speak to phasma about the incident, as he knew the captain could be quite aggressive when she sensed an enemy. but rey wasn't an enemy. when she sat up, ben moved his hands to work at her belt, but his actions slowed as her eyes met his yet again. the words that followed brought back the familiar feeling of guilt - so she had heard. he'd hoped to be able to tell her before she could bring it up, but now, he had no choice. glancing back to her belt as he released a defeated sigh, ben nodded slowly, finally managing to remove the leather from her waist. "i've been meaning to fill you in, rey, i promise you...originally, it was intended to be kept secret. we were aware that you didn't want me involved in any way, and phasma - she was the only one of us who wasn't under direct suspicion from snoke. so we figured she could be possibly be used as a pawn, a spy in some sorts to gain information from him." setting the belt with the growing pile of garments, ben lifted his eyes again, hoping that rey would not become too upset. "but now that i've told you, yes, i would like to have you involved...that is, if you would still prefer to be. i just want to keep you safe...in one way or another."

Ben joined the chat 77 days ago

Ben was timed out 77 days ago

Ben joined the chat 77 days ago

Ben was timed out 77 days ago

Rey when he nodded, she felt a pain run through her, but she didn't pull away from him, didn't get frustrated with him. instead... she listened. she knew he had to have good reasoning for doing so. phasma had claimed it was because they didn't want her to be a part of it. the plans to take down snoke as well as the new order that would rise after his defeat. she didn't know how to react exactly, until he told her he wanted her to be a part of it. her eyes filled with guilt and adoration at the same time, hands sliding up his arms to cradle his cheeks. after a moment, she leaned down and kissed him softly, pushing some of his hair out of his face as she did so. when she pulled away, she rested her forehead against his and kept her eyes closed. "i want to help... w-we can protect each other... you need me, you know you do..." she whispered. when she opened her eyes, her gaze landed on her outfit, her ragged clothes from when she was a scavenger. this was who she truly was. she bit her lip lightly. "maybe she's right... maybe there is no place for me in the new order... whatever it will be..."

Ben joined the chat 77 days ago

Ben he had expected her to question him further, asking why he didn't tell her from the beginning, but he was pleasantly surprised when she took his face in her hands and kissed him instead. his eyes fluttered open slightly as she remained close, speaking to him intimately as if they were not the only two in the room, but it only made them feel closer. her words caused a small smirk to form on his lips - he wasn't one to typically admit that he needed anyone, but he knew it was true. he did need her, in more ways than one, and he didn't mind admitting that to her. "i do," he agreed, leaning forward to peck her lips again. "we don't have an actual plan completely put together just yet, but we're working on it. it's coming along." ben leaned back slowly, reaching to turn off the water as the tub had fully filled up. he helped her with the rest of her clothing, listening as she spoke before frowning. as much as he wanted her to be involved if she wanted to, part of him didn't want her to have to deal with all of the stress and turmoil that came with politics, specifically rebuilding the government after everything that had already gone wrong. "we'll figure it out when the time comes, don't worry about that yet," he assured her, though if their plan worked, he knew they'd be dealing with it sooner than later. "don't worry about any of it just yet. just relax, put your mind at ease for now."

Rey: i’m in class but i’ll reply soon !!!!

Ben: ok no worries!

Rey was timed out 77 days ago

Rey rey closed her eyes and nodded slightly, shoulders relaxing. he was right; there was no point in worrying about the future just yet. right now they had to focus on killing snoke; that was the most important thing. “you’re right...” she whispered, finally opening her eyes again and giving him a tired smile. she let him remove her undergarments, the last parts of her outfit to be taken off, then slowly rose to her feet. as she used his help to step into the tub, she told him, “by the way, i visited a doctor. kind of. he helped me with my bruises.” she omitted the part about accidentally kissing him, thinking he was ben; she still felt horrible for it, and it would just be better if he didn’t know. “i’m going to go see him again soon.”

Ben was timed out 76 days ago

Ben joined the chat 76 days ago

Rey: OMG OK S O

Rey: RAVANA JUST STABBED REY W HER LIGHTSABER SO

Rey: we can say she’s been hiding it with her hair or something omg ?

Ben: yIKES uh oh

Ben: but yeah should i have him notice it now??

Rey: yeah go for it !!

Ben: ok i have to finish something up but i'll be back to reply soon!

Rey: totally fine i’m driving home rn

Rey: btw you can just say that she’s been kind of acting weird like trying to keep her hair curtained over her shoulder or wincing bc she stretched it too much or smth

Rey: say whatever u want that she’s doing to make him realize

Rey joined the chat 76 days ago

Ben: ok perf

Ben ben was glad that she agreed with him; it felt wonderful to be speaking with her calmly and rationally again, not arguing so much as they'd done over the past couple of days. he set the rest of her clothing in the pile next to the tub and held her arm gently as she stepped into the water, watching her carefully. the many bruises on her body made him concerned, but despite that, she was still so beautiful. "a doctor?" he repeated, though his eyebrows furrowed when she mentioned "he". why had she gone to a male doctor? why didn't she just go back to the woman who had helped them with the birth control procedure? ben felt himself tense up a bit, not wanting to come across as upset, but still feeling wary about the situation. "what else does he have to do? is there a medicine or something he can give you?" he was feeling extra protective over rey, and didn't like someone else stepping in to do his job for him. "i'll come with you, then, if you insist on going back."

Rey joined the chat 76 days ago

Ben: i just realized he didnt notice it yet rip

Ben: i'll put it in the next reply lol

Rey: LMAO its ok

Rey: ya thats perf

Rey "mhmm," rey replied casually as ben repeated her words, not catching the slight annoyance in them. she flinched slightly when he grabbed her arm, still keeping her hair over the wound, then slowly sat down in the water, sinking in with a soft sigh. hot water never bothered her; it could be on the highest setting, and she would find it comfortable. she supposed it came from years of scorching temperatures on jakku. she looked up at him again when he asked his questions, readjusting her hair to cover the lightsaber wound once more. she stopped when he asked what else he had to do, looking down at the water. she couldn't tell him the truth; not yet. "i don't know. he didn't say," she replied, looking up again. she smiled gently and shook her head. "ben, you don't have to. it'll be boring for you. don't worry, he's really nice. and when he checked my chest, he was very gentle."

Ben as she brushed it off, ben shook his head quickly. "no, it's fine. i insist," he responded, though her final words caused a wave of frustration to wash over him. "he checked your chest?" ben repeated again, his expression fading to a frown. he didn't like the idea of another man examining rey's chest; it made him extremely uncomfortable. "where else did he touch you?" ben demanded, aware that his voice was becoming sharp now. noticing rey wince at his tone, his eyes moved towards her neck, which was mostly covered by her hair falling from her buns. he noticed a fresh red mark, and suddenly dropped his intense demeanor, instead becoming concerned again. "what's that from?" he asked quietly, not recognizing the new wound. "that wasn't there before..."

Rey: o h my fuck i forgot her hair was in the buns thank u for saving it

Ben: LOL i figured they were just like falling out or something

Rey "yeah," rey replied easily, furrowing her eyebrows at his reaction. but then she realized why, that his jealousy was coming in swiftly, and she shook her head. "ben, it was to make sure my ribs weren't broken. it was completely professional," she promised, placing her hand over his. she decided to answer whatever question he had, wanting him to feel more reassured now. "he had to feel my back, i think to check my breathing. and i showed him the bruises on my neck. he'd pet my hair whenever i did something that hurt. it was nice." she smiled softly, to herself now, and grabbed the washing sponge as well as one of the bath gels. scented like the forest; her favorite. but his words made her freeze, and she realized that when she'd turned, her hair had moved. the lowest of the three buns had fallen out, luckily blocking the wound and becoming her new shield for it, but now, with it aside, he could see it easier. she pushed it over the wound again and shook her head. "it's fine. it's nothing," she answered quickly, lathering the sponge up with the gel and biting her lip.

Rey: i love jealous ben

Rey: the Best ben

Ben: he gets jealous at anything tbh he's so petty

Ben ben remained silent at her explanation, still not fully convinced. he didn't trust the doctor, considering he didn't even know the man, and he didn't like the idea of rey returning to see him again. wasn't she healing just fine on her own? he could take care of her and that would be all she needed. as she continued, he rolled his eyes briefly, turning away so she wouldn't notice as much. petting her head? why was that even necessary? maybe he could get her doctor switched to a female if he talked to the people at the clinic. when she dismissed the wound quickly, ben leaned closer, examining it better. "it's not nothing, that's new, and it looks painful," he commented, the worry evident in his voice. "what is it from, rey? you didn't have that yesterday. who did that to you? how did it happen?"

Rey "hey," rey murmured gently when she caught him rolling his eyes, gently taking his chin in her hand so she could turn his head back to her. she pushed some hair out of his eyes with a small smile. "it'll be okay. it's really, really low key. he doesn't work at the hospital. i don't think he's technically licensed, so it's okay, it's nothing too serious," she added, attempting to reassure him without realizing that it would only worry him further. she felt selfish for letting him go on stressing about her new wound, so she sighed softly and finally moved her hair out of the way, letting him see it fully. "in the fight... with ravana... just a lightsaber wound," she whispered. thankfully, it had cauterized instantly, so bleeding out hadn't been a concern. however, it hurt pretty bad still. "kyle can fix it up when i see him, it'll be okay."

Ben her reassurance calmed him a bit as he looked into her honest eyes, but still, it wasn't her who he distrusted. it was this other man that he did not know of. her explanation only caused his eyes to widen, and his brows furrowed once again, even more appalled at the idea. "he's not even a real doctor?!" ben exclaimed incredulously, moving out of her grip once again as he threw his hands up in the air. "rey, don't be naive! why would he do that without ulterior motives? why don't you go see a real doctor?" he knew he was being slightly irrational, but he didn't care. if this man was not even a professional, it only made ben trust him less. "i'm going with you next time," he affirmed strictly, not leaving room open for debate. "i want to meet him myself." when he'd calmed down enough to properly analyze her wound, he frowned at her words. so ravana had indeed struck back, which was unsurprising to him, but it still disappointed him. though his attention quickly went back to their previous conversation when she mentioned a name. "kyle?" he repeated yet again, his teeth clenched in annoyance now. "we're going together. it's settled."

Rey "he is, he is a real doctor, but he just doesn't work anywhere or have a license!" rey replied, raising her voice only to try to get his attention, but keeping her tone gentle and attempting to calm him down. she let him move out of her hold, lightly holding onto the edge of the tub as she stared up at him desperately. "he doesn't have ulterior motives, he was just trying to help. he saw i was in pain," she explained swiftly, hoping he would understand at least a little more. "ben, you really, really don't have to, really." she knew it wouldn't go well, and she really wanted to be friends with kyle. she didn't want ben scaring him away. she let him inspect the wound, still refusing to look at it herself. pretending like it wasn't even there. it had helped thus far. "ben..." she sighed, but hesitantly looked up at him again. "do you really want to be there? will you be that unhappy if you don't come?" she placed her hand on his knee, eyes gentle. if he really would be that unhappy, then she would allow him to come. "i'll let you if you'll feel better..."

Ben despite her protests, ben was still skeptical, and it only frustrated him more than rey was defending him so much. she had only just met the doctor, or so he called himself - why was she so keen on seeing him again? the more she assured him that he didn’t need to come along, the more that he felt that he needed to. turning to face her again, his lips were twisted into a frown still, and he crossed his arms over his chest. “you reallydon’t want me to come,” he gathered, his tone slightly offended. with the way she usually was, he assumed she’d be glad when he’d offered to go with her, but her denials only made him more suspicious and anxious. “if it’s not a big deal, then why wouldn’t you want me to come?”

Rey: sorry im here !!

Ben was timed out 76 days ago

Rey rey grimaced slightly, terrified of making him more upset. but she wanted to be honest with him. he, at least, deserved that. "i just..." she murmured, already feeling guilty. she tucked her knees tightly to her chest and buried the bottom half of her face in them, sighing silently. keeping her eyes down, she explained quietly. "i'm scared you're gonna make him afraid to be near me... i-i like making new friends, w-with people who don't know all the mistakes i've made... it gives me a chance to start over..." she sounded smaller than she would have liked, but it was sad to say the words. "if you want to come, then i want you to come... it was just nice to have a new friend who knew me for me... not for who i'm seeing or what i've done in the past..."

Rey was timed out 76 days ago

Ben joined the chat 76 days ago

Ben joined the chat 76 days ago

Ben was timed out 76 days ago

Ben joined the chat 76 days ago

Rey: http://ofmonstersywomans.tumblr.com/post...

Rey: omf

Ben: tHATS SO GOOD and PRETTY omg

Rey: when they find out she’s prefnant

Rey: pregnant

Rey: :)))))))

Ben: cryin in the club RN!

Rey: mood

Ben her explanation caused him to relax slightly, his expression of frustration turning to one of concern. of course he didn't mind her having friends; she was quite the social butterfly as he'd come to know, but this particular situation still seemed sketchy. though at the same time he understood what she meant; he knew his personality tended to be a bit intimidating with others, at least when he kept his guard up. he chewed his lower lip silently for a moment, staring at the ground. he still wanted to go with her, but maybe he could attempt to make himself more presentable, less intimidating...just in case this man was actually someone that he'd be able to respect rey spending time with. he looked back at her in defeat, letting out a sigh. "i'll do my best to behave," he assured her, placing his hand over hers again. "i'll...be polite. and i won't scare him off...unless i find that his intentions are not ideal. okay?"

Rey the silence was lengthy, but it reassured rey more than anything. always, he would argue right away if he wasn’t going to give in. but he seemed to really be considering her words, thinking that maybe he could believe in her. his words made her smile softly in appreciation, holding onto one of his hands with both of hers. “okay...” she whispered, nodding swiftly in agreement then leaning up to kiss him gently. once she’d pulled away, she leaned back again in the tub, letting herself relax in the water. then she smiled to herself before pulling at his hand. “join me,” she requested, echoing his words in the throne room of the supremacy, although the context was now entirely different. ruling the galaxy and bathing together were not exactly similar. rey tilted her chin down, giving a small pout of her lip even though she was still smiling. “please...”

Ben he smiled softly at her acceptance, kissing her back gently as he thought of how to act during the encounter. of course he would establish his dominance, but that didn't necessarily have to be an act of aggression. he could be cordial; he'd been that way with amalie, as well as other officials and the doctor at the clinic and the people of naboo who he'd encountered when he was buying things or taking care of business. he just had to treat this the same way. it was no big deal; she'd assured him of that, and he trusted her. ben was shaken from his own thoughts by the tug at his hand, and he snapped back to focus on her again. her request caused him to raise an eyebrow, but he bit his lip again, considering it. he hadn't taken a bath in years, as he rarely had the time or desire for it. but now, the offer seemed hard to refuse. besides, he'd had a stressful day as well; it didseem relaxing. her pout caused him to chuckle, and he nodded. "alright," he agreed, leaning forward to remove his own combat boots. he then stood up briefly, undoing his waist band and lifting his black fitted shirt over his head. his eyes caught sight of his reflection in the mirror, and he paused, analyzing the scar that streamed down across his chest. for the longest time it had being a painful reminder of his failure, but now, with the circumstances so different, he was almost proud of it.

Rey giggling giddily when he finally agreed, rey set the sponge aside for now, watching him as he undressed with nothing but admiration and doting in her eyes. wow, how she loved him. her smile faded into a confused look when he stopped to look in the mirror, and her gaze landed on where he was looking. guilt hit her like a speeder. she had been the cause of that. she had wanted him dead. at first she grimaced, assuming he would get mad at the sight of it, but his expression, and the emotions she gathered through their bond, told her otherwise. it wasn’t shame or anger or betrayal. it was pride. “...you’re so perfect...” she whispered in awe, unable to help herself. everything from his physique to his gentleness to his bravery... she was obsessed with every part of him. smiling lovingly, her hand reached up to gently take his again, bringing it to her lips and trailing kisses over his fingers. “i love you with all m heart...” she pressed one final kiss to his palm, then released it so he could finish undressing. she only hoped he knew how incredible he truly was in her eyes.

Ben rey's words shook him from his thoughts again, and as he processed what she'd said, he felt his cheeks flush, his glance turning downward to the ground once again. but again an almost bashful smile appeared on his lips, and he looked back at her, waving his hand to brush off her comment. "i'm not," he disregarded, as he'd never been able to think of himself that way. he still had pieces of himself that he hated, parts that he tried his hardest to suppress, but it was difficult. however, somehow, knowing that she thought so highly of him warmed his heart and made him a bit more confident in himself. truly confident, not just the false guard he put up as kylo ren. his smile grew as she kissed his hand, and he chuckled again, looking at her lovingly. "you're the perfect one...you're amazing," he breathed, brushing across her jaw with his finger softly before she released his hand. when she did, he set his own garments in a pile, undoing his pants and removing them along with his undergarments. he felt another blush appear on his cheeks before he stepped into the tub, the water warming his body immediately as he sat on the opposite end to face her. "wow, this is nice," he commented, letting himself sink in deeper.

Rey “are you really still blushing when you’re undressed around me?” rey teased, accent somewhat thicker as she attempted not to laugh. but she giggled and watched as he moved into the tub, furrowing her eyebrows as he sat down across from her. after a few seconds of pause, she launched forward and sprawled herself out on top of him, the water lapping around them in waves at her sudden movement. their chests pressed against one another as she closed her eyes, smiling contently to herself. but wait. it could be better. she took his large arms and wrapped them around her own small body, her smile widening once she felt his embrace. “better...” she sighed out, pressing her lips to his upper chest where her head lay. but soon after she tilted her chin up to rest it where she had just kissed, staring up into his eyes. “i love you... i love you so much...” she whispered, just loud enough for him to hear, as if it was some big secret. but he knew more than well enough by now. after staring into his eyes for a few more moments, she bit her lip, telling him something that had been on her mind more and more as of late. “ben...” she breathed out, waiting a few moments before continuing. “i wanna marry you...”

Ben at her sudden moment, ben let out a chuckle, adjusting himself as she shifted on top of him. he felt the familiar mixture of comfort and arousal that came from being this close to her, and it felt natural, good. there was nothing compared to it. he cradled her as soon as she moved his arms around her, allowing his own eyes to flutter shut briefly as he savored the moment. no war, no responsibility, just the two of them. together. “i love you too,” ben mumbled, his hand running along the small of her back soothingly. his eyes opened to meet her dreamy gaze, staring back into her eyes as she spoke. her words evoked a slight gulp, and immediately he was reminded of his drunk escapade with hux. fuck. he remembered what they’d discussed, what he’d gotten for her...in the moment he was fully open to the idea, but now that he was sober...was he truly ready? even if he was, she deserved more than a simple agreement. he would need to prepare something special, and he hadn’t expected this conversation. after a moment of thought, a small smile formed on his lips, and he leaned forward to kiss her slowly. “one day,” he whispered against her lips.

Ben: *movement

Rey rey knew her words would catch him off guard, so it didn't bother her at all when he visibly reacted with surprise. there was some other thought in his head, maybe about a recent memory, but she didn't focus on it, instead zeroing in on what he would say to her in this moment. when the smile formed on his lips, she mirrored it on her own face and kissed him back gently. but his words made her frown stubbornly. "why not soon?" she complained in a whisper, a soft whine to her tone. she pulled back enough to look up into his eyes, pouting her lip yet again, but more so this time than she had before. a crease formed between her eyebrows as well. "why not... why not tomorrow or the next day?" she wasn't expecting anything special for her, as she, in her eyes, felt she didn't deserve one. she had never earned lavish things in her life; why should this be any different? "if we're married, you won't have to worry about kyle flirting with me," she offered, raising her eyebrows, even though she couldn't help but smile afterwards. to do it on that sole reason was ridiculous, but she really was just so ready to be eternally his.

Ben joined the chat 75 days ago

Rey: oh my god i have to make this room premium bc i didnt start logging yet and i didnt get the whole first part fml

Rey joined the chat 75 days ago

Rey: it is done

Ben: oh no but bLESS I’m glad it was saved!

Ben: just got out of black panther I’m shook

Rey: ISNT IT GREAT

Ben: yES AMXING

Ben: *AMAZING

Rey: IM OBSESSED

Ben joined the chat 75 days ago

Ben: just got home gotta shower and then i'll be on for a lil bit to reply!

Rey: kk !!!

Rey: https://78.media.tumblr.com/e016ce56426d...

Rey: whY DOES IT LOOK LIK E THEM

Ben: OMG IT DOES

Rey: I HAVE THE POST IM DYIN TO REBLOG I T

Ben: do IT

Ben: their make up sex tbh

Rey: yA

Rey: i did it i had to

Ben: it's v quality omg

Rey: fr tho

Ben he had a feeling she wouldn't be content with such a vague response, as much as he'd hoped she would be. but he still needed to process things. they'd only just made their relationship public a few days ago, and most of the past few days had been spent fighting and arguing. even if things had improved greatly now, he was worried about what would happen in the near future. would they be able to take down snoke successfully? and if they did, what would become of the new first order and the long lasting battle against the resistance? it worried him, even though he knew for certain that he wanted to be with rey through all of it. no matter what. he just wanted the right timing, but he didn't know when that would be. "that's not enough time to plan," ben responded with a light, nervous chuckle, hoping she couldn't see through him. her next comment made his expression fall, and he narrowed his eyes at her. "i shouldn't have to be worried about that either way," he mumbled as a means of caution, though he knew that rey had only been teasing him. allowing the small smirk to return, he lowered his chin to level his gaze with her, his eyes assuring and promising. "when the time is right...maybe the time will be right soon, if we're lucky..." he moved his hands to caress her face, moving her wet hair out of her face as he gave her an encouraging smile.

Rey rey shrugged playfully again, letting her gaze drift aside as she bit her lip lightly. "i don't know... his hands did travel around..." she trailed off, eyes darting back to his. before he could get too mad, she reached behind her and moved his hands to her behind, letting him squeeze or smack or whatever he wanted to do in his jealousy. she still loved that part of him so much. but she softened again with a small sigh, still pouting at his answer. "the time will never be right..." she groaned in complaint, burying her face in his chest for a few moments and tightening her grip on him. although her whining was almost entirely teasing, she still knew her words were true. would they ever find peace? would they ever be able to settle down somewhere, and live as a happy married couple, with children and all? it was what she assumed would happen for them, but... could it? she peeked her head up again, smiling sadly. she took one of his hands and brought his fingers to her mouth, nibbling and playing with them, as she often liked to do. she took his pointer finger and pressed it gently to the small tip of her nose, giggling to herself. "one day soon..." she sighed, playing with his fingers again.

Rey: im legit obsessed w her putting her mouth on his hand tbh like its just fun for her

Ben: it's sO CUTE she's adorable

Ben ben felt his frustration arising again at her words, his light expression fading into a darker one. was she messing with him again or did she mean it? when she moved his hands to her rear, he gripped her cheeks tightly, bringing his nose to brush across hers as he glared into her eyes. "do i have to remind you that you're mine? no one else touches you like i do," he growled, slowly releasing her and letting his hands run over her smooth skin. he could tell that she was trying to get a rise out of him, and to his dismay, it had worked. letting out a quick sigh, he did his best to relax again, his expression softening at her pout. her words were unfortunately true; it was unlikely that there would ever be a perfect time for them to get married, as there would always be so much happening around them no matter what. but ben wanted to make sure he was absolutely in the right head space at the time, not having to worry about other issues and being able to focus solely on her. like right now. he watched as she played with his fingers like a fascinated child, and another soft chuckle escaped him at the sight. he could never fathom what made her so interested in him, but he found it adorable nonetheless. "one day soon. in the meantime..." ben moved his chin down to swoop in to her lips, capturing them slowly with his own as his fingers stroked over her jaw.

Rey her grin widened as he squeezed her rear, and her nose scrunched up once his own was pressing to it. even though he spoke with poison in his tone, she couldn't keep the giggle of admiration from escaping. she relaxed again when his grip loosened, and his hands ran over it. "more, more..." she whispered, bouncing slightly on top of him and leaning up to find his lips again, pecking them playfully. kriff, did she love when he got like that. now that they knew their limits, she had no apprehension about him acting that way; in fact, she craved it. she was in the midst of pressing his finger to her two front teeth now when he leaned down to her, and she released his hand. she gladly let his mouth take place of it, and kissed him back with no hesitance, scooting up his body just slightly. her tongue slipped between his lips after some time, deepening the kiss gradually. eventually, she let out a soft whimper against his lips. "touch me..." she pleaded quietly, her breath already starting to shorten. she didn't care if her shoulder wound was still untreated, or if they weren't planning on the moment turning into this. she wasn't sure if he would oblige or not, but she squirmed slightly and begged once more. "please..."

Ben her whispers and sneaky movements caused a breath to catch in ben's throat, already feeling himself becoming more aroused. he was sure it was becoming obvious to her as well, and of course she only made it more difficult to ignore. as their tongues met through the kiss, he allowed his to roll over her own, sinking deeper into the water as he let her control the moment on top of him. as dominant as he was, he found himself turned on by the moments when she took over as well. her soft request caused him to lift his eyebrows, his eyes half-open as they looked into hers. he hadn't expected this earlier on, but he surely wasn't opposed to it. "is that what you want?" ben asked teasingly, moving his hands slowly up the sides of her waist. starting to move even slower, he dragged them up her abdomen before he finally reached her breasts, and his thumbs stroked over her nipples in a steady, rotating motion. "how am i making you feel?" he whispered against her lips, another smirk forming.

Rey nodding swiftly, rey bit her lip again, letting him adjust her so she was practically sitting up on top of him, her hands planted on his solid chest. she whined impatiently and bounced in the water when he moved at a tantalizingly slow pace, eyes locked on his hands in anxiousness. she leaned down over him again, forearms now resting on his chest, and whimpered when he began rolling her nipples with his thumbs, pressing her core down onto his thigh and rubbing gently for a moment as the arousal only grew inside her. but only made her want him more. "s-so good..." she whispered shakily, her voice still containing that whine to it. she may have been the one on top of him, but he still had a power over her that would never be forfeited. she grinned as she continued biting her lip, eyes falling shut. he was giving her exactly what she wanted, which made her feel slightly more smug and, therefore, rebellious. "reminds me of kyle..." she whispered teasingly, turning her head swiftly to the side after so she could smile proudly to herself, letting her hair hide her reaction from him, although he would probably be able to tell.

Ben his smirk widened at her pleased reaction, moving his hands to massage her breasts when he felt her rubbing against his thigh. he breathed out heavily, his boner now ever-present, though it was difficult for it not to be with the girl he loved lying naked and wet on top of him. however, hearing her mention kyle’s name again in reference to how he was touching her made him scowl. he was fully aware of what she was doing at this point, purposefully riling him up, and it started to bother him. but he could sense that it was all a game in her mind - so he decided to mess with her a bit. “maybe he’s not a bad doctor after all,” ben mumbled nonchalantly, slowing his movements even more before giving her breasts a gentle squeeze. “tender, careful...what more could you ask for?” a daring grin formed on his lips before he lifted her up partially, bringing his lips to wrap around her left nipple and sucking incredibly slowly on the pink bud.

Rey joined the chat 75 days ago

Rey: omg i had a whole thing written and my chrome just decided to crash im so pissed

Rey what? had he really just said that? snapping her head quickly back to look at him again, rey pulled back slightly to look down at him in shock. there was no way that was how he truly felt; was it? she flinched slightly when he squeezed her breasts, his words leaving her with even more bewilderment. "but- w-" she stuttered, although he moved her up slightly before she could form a coherent thought, hand reaching up to grip onto the back of the tub. her mind flipped between arousal and astonishment at his words. she felt strapped to a table, her usual mechanisms for escape useless against his methods. a groan escaped her as her eyes fell shut, feeling him suck on her breast with the same agonizing pace. she was stubbornly angry that she was not getting her way, that she was not in control, and her jaw set even as she whined again.

Ben was timed out 75 days ago

Ben joined the chat 75 days ago

Ben as soon as he caught her stunned expression, ben gave her a dark grin, amused and satisfied that he’d successfully thrown her off. it only further confirmed that she had been messing with him. however, he could sense that she wanted to play a game - so he decided to oblige, in his own way. “right now, i’m your doctor...so be a good girl and relax for me.” with another grin, he moved his lips to her other breast, sucking playfully before circling his tongue around the bud. his hands steadied her before running down her waist and around her thighs, beginning to drum his fingers against them. he knew she liked that. “i’m going to have to examine you thoroughly...tell me, where does it hurt?”

Ben joined the chat 75 days ago

Ben: sorry that would've been longer but writing on mobile always tricks me tbh

Rey: i feel dw

Rey rey grinned at his words and looked down at him again, tightening her grip on the edge of the tub. she nodded slowly and innocently smiled, a small blush forming on her cheeks. when his mouth connected with her other breast, she gasped softly again, the arousal only peaking in her core more. she whimpered and squirmed more, but let him steady her, taking deep breaths. she felt his hands begin to slide down her body, and her heart began racing in anticipation; he knew how much it electrified her when he moved so slow, given the fact that she was so easily overwhelmed. another gasp and a small jump came as his fingers drummed against her inner thighs, which she pressed together for a few moments. but then she parted her legs more, practically begging in just that action alone for him to touch her. his words made her moan lowly, but without hesitation, she crawled down to press her bare core against where his hands were, craving for them to play with her. her chest pressed to his again. "please, please..." she whispered, bouncing yet again in the tub. the feeling was only getting stronger now, and the slower he took it, the harder it was to get relief.

Rey joined the chat 75 days ago

Rey joined the chat 75 days ago

Ben was timed out 75 days ago

Rey was timed out 75 days ago

Rey joined the chat 75 days ago

Ben joined the chat 75 days ago

Rey: dAmn that timing tho

Ben: LOL i juST noticed

Rey: that was hilarious

Ben: finishing bagel then back to ze smut

Rey: ni ce

Ben: which i swear happens with these two all the times LMAO

Rey: I KNOW i wasnt even planning on having smut happen but fuck it

Ben: sAme LOL but i guess bath smut is something new for them

Rey: tru they gettin kinky

Ben: these two are something else

Rey: AHHHGHBFJNSKDL

Ben roleplay was not something that ben had ever truly considered finding an interest in, but now that he found rey enjoying it, he was starting to enjoy it too. it was something new, and her reactions to his words and slow movements were so good. he could tell that she was growing impatient, as she usually did, but her whimpers and pleas only made him desire to tease her more. finally he moved his mouth to place steady kisses along her chest, over her bruises and down her stomach. when he felt her core rub against his hand eagerly, he pulled it away, giving her a daring smirk. "patience, dear. we'll get to that part of your examination soon enough." he allowed his hands to knead her inner thighs again, moving closer and closer as she parted her legs further. finally he brushed his thumbs over her folds, massaging gently before he moved his fingers to circulate her spot of highest stimulation. "just relax for me," he instructed in a deep tone, giving her another devious grin. after a moment, he moved his hands to her waist to adjust her, bringing her legs to wrap around his neck. his eyes met hers just briefly before he moved his head forward, leaning in to capture her center with his mouth, his tongue teasing and rolling over her as his hands gripped her hips.

Rey "no," rey whined in complaint when he moved his hand away, furrowing her eyebrows impatiently up at him, but quieting down once again when he told her to wait. she was still frustrated, craving for him to touch her in that spot, but moaned loudly as he finally massaged his fingers around her center. she pushed herself further against his hands, wanting him to be firmer and quicker in her moment of need. then his hands were gone again and she lightly hit her fist against the side of the tub with another whine of agitation. but just as she was ready to complain, he was adjusting her so that her legs were now around his neck. before she could beg for him, his tongue was touching her sensitive area, and she shouted out gently, bucking her hips against his mouth. "y-you might need to check more..." she breathed out, pleading for him to touch her in more places.

Ben her words of encouragement fueled him further, though he still wanted to tease her, getting as many noises and reactions out of her as possible. his hands slid up her waist and to her breasts once again, gripping them now as his tongue continued massaging her core. he then slid his right hand back down her body, running it over her folds before he pushed two fingers inside of her. pumping in and out at an incredibly slow pace, he kissed her core gently before lifting his head up to grin at her again. "you taste so good...a sign of good health," ben whispered, loving her expressions more than anything. gradually he moved his fingers a bit faster before he inserted a third, then he finally allowed himself to speed up, hoping to bring her the pleasure that she'd waited so patiently for. his thumb moved to massage her core again as he did so, watching her face with a prideful expression.

Rey: soRRY i had to drop my mom off

Rey as soon as she felt his fingers inside her, rey jerked in the water, the small waves sloshing around both of their bodies, as she panted heavily and tossed her head back. "please, faster... please," she begged, her tone drifting in and out as a whine accompanied it. feeling his lips on her center was unlike anything else, and she pushed her hips further forward after he did so. "more," she pleaded, bouncing slightly, causing her breasts to move up and down, but stilled as soon as he added yet another finger, stretching her walls more so. finally she melted completely in his hold, under his power, letting out sharp gasps and groans as he pumped them at the speed which she had been waiting for. her hands reached down to grip onto his wrist, nails digging into his skin, and finally shook her head quickly. "ben, i-i can't- i-" she grunted. but her back arched up and she let out a loud groan as she hit her climax. she was lasting longer and longer each time, but still he could manage to exhilarate her with just the slightest breath. but she enjoyed this setting too much; so she kept the act going. "i think..." she breathed out. "i think there's somewhere else that's been... aching." slowly, she turned over in the tub onto her stomach and pressed her ass into his palms, grinning slyly at him over her shoulder.

Ben joined the chat 74 days ago

Ben ben continued moving his fingers in and out of her, proud of the immense satisfaction he was able to bring her simply with his hands. he continued to watch her, turned on more by the sight of her squirming and shaking at his mercy. "fuck...good girl," he mumbled, grinning wider when he heard her loud groan and felt her walls tighten around his fingers. he pulled out them out slowly, bringing his head in between her legs once again to lick her clean. he assumed she'd be attempting to catch her breath and rest after her climax, but instead she continued pressing for more, and ben gladly welcomed her ass in his hands, gripping and squeezing her cheeks roughly. "you were such a good patient...but now you'll have to pay up," he spoke deeply before wrapping his arms around her waist once again. he moved her body to lie face up in the water, pulling her ass to meet his crotch. moving them so that he was able to lean his head against the edge of the bathtub, ben began grinding his hips slowly against her ass, his hands wandering over her abdomen and eventually back to her breasts. "mmmm, good," he whispered into her ear before nibbling it, leaving another small mark.

Ben joined the chat 74 days ago

Rey it was obvious he knew how much she thrived off of his voice when it was so deep. him speaking like that alone could turn her on in a heartbeat. when they woke up in the mornings, and his voice was lower and raspier than usual, she felt the telltale sign of arousal begin to burn inside her. when he slid her up the tub so that the shaft of his length could press to her behind, she gasped at the new feeling, but welcomed it. she moved her legs so that they could lay over his shoulders, ankles crossing in an 'x' behind his neck. whenever she laid like this, she felt so open and vulnerable to him, but it felt familiar and good. her hands went to rest above her head, arms leaning against the tub, as he ground his hips against her, causing her to groan louder now. "feels so good..." she whimpered, enjoying this new area they'd discovered together. she brought one hand to the back of his head and gently gripped his hair before moving him so his mouth was on her breasts again, enjoying too much when he played with that area. "am i being good...?" she whispered sweetly, biting her lip and closing ehr eyes.

Rey: her*

Ben was timed out 74 days ago

Ben joined the chat 74 days ago

Ben when she moved his head to find her breasts once again, he returned his lips to her nipple, kissing and sucking it a bit rougher now while his other hand kneaded her other breast. he felt himself craving more and more from her, as he still hadn't been relieved just yet, and he let out a hungry grunt. "you're amazing...but you're lacking something," he mumbled against her nipple, moving his hands now to push her legs further apart. "open wide. i'm going to fuck you now...hard." he pulled her hips to his, sliding his length inside of her and letting out another louder grunt as he did so. the water made it smoother, and he pulled her body to press against his as his hips rolled slowly against hers. "mmm, how does that feel?" he teased again, his own breath shortening as he felt the sensations beginning to flow throughout his body.

Rey the vibrations from his voice as he spoke around her nipple made shivers run up her spine, only further stimulating her arousal. "i think i agree..." she whispered, laughing in anticipation when he spread her legs further, completely open and vulnerable to him. she kept them in the spread position, closing her eyes and grinning in wicked excitement at his words. "hard as you can..." she managed to breathe out. she gasped lowly as he finally filled her up with himself, finding taking him in becoming easier and easier with each session they shared. the water also played its part in smoothening the process. she grunted lightly as he began pumping slowly, but opened her eyes and quirked a playful eyebrow, smirking slightly. "offensive," she whispered. she wanted more; she needed more. it was her way of consenting to him to go rough if he wanted. she knew she wanted it, anyway. "challenge me..."

Ben at her encouragement, ben let out a shaky breath, managing a smirk as he continued to roll his hips into hers. he increased his pace gradually, still teasing her, though he was becoming impatient himself. finally he sped up, beginning to pant and grunt as he lifted her ass, allowing for easier movement. his face fell against her chest as he rammed into her now, moving in and out feverishly. the warmth of the water only made the sweat beading on his forehead double, and his mouth found her nipple again, groaning against it before biting it gently. "shit, rey...you're so t-tight," he muttered against her breast again before his head jolted up and a rush of pleasure ran up his spine. he hit his climax roughly, yelling out "fuck!" before collapsing against her chest once again. the feeling of her walls tightening around his length was mind numbing, and he loved it more and more every time. finally he pulled out, sighing heavily and letting his head rest comfortably against her chest as his eyes closed for a moment, gathering his breath. "i love you so fucking much. fuck."

Rey his pace quickened to their usual routine... but then he took it further. her shouts and whines increased in volume more and more, the water splashing around them now. his rough movements combined with the feeling of his lips and teeth on her breast overwhelmed her quicker than usual, back slowly arching up more and more as she neared her climax point. they hit it simultaneously, and she shouted out loudly as he let out the expletive, her eyes squeezing shut. she fell gently back down in the tub, panting heavily with sweat beading down her face, and winced as he pulled out of her. it was the most intense he's ever gone, but she found herself loving every moment. "i love you..." she laughed breathily, hand caressing the back of his head. it seemed the moments they felt closest were always after sex, after they'd bonded together quite literally. her hair was soaking wet now, and the water soaked into her lightsaber wound, enflaming the pain. but she didn't care. as long as she had him. with a few small grunts, she moved them so she was sitting atop him once more, curled up into a small ball against his strong chest. she was his, and only his. small gestures such as this only proved that further. "m'tired..." she whispered.

Rey: yooo after they fall asleep or w/e lets time lapse to them going to kyle

Kyle entered for the first time 74 days ago

Rey: kYLEEEE

Kyle: kyle bustin thru

Ben: omg i was typing but had to backspace bc shame

Ben: KYLE SHIELD UR EYES

Rey: HAHAAHAHAHAHAH

Rey: 'rey you're walking kind of funny, are you okay?'

Rey: jfc

Ben: AH MAN

Kyle: 'you were such a good patient...but now you'll have to pay up' iM CRYINGRJNFH

Kyle: rey got no health insurance

Rey: i hope kyle says that

Rey: then just hands them a bill

Ben: they would both actually spit out their drinks

Kyle: fbhrkfvghdeads

Ben: like they would have drinks just for that reaction

Rey: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Rey: lizzie we can lapse after ur next one if ur down

Ben: ok yeah now i just have to focus for long enough to write it lOL

Rey: bood

Ben: i'm listenin to a LIT kylo/ben playlist and every single song is o n p o i n t

Ben: i need an emo boy rip

Rey: mE

Ben as he managed to catch his breath finally, ben felt her climb into his lap, and he lazily wrapped his arms around her small frame. he caressed her head against his chest, planting a small kiss atop her head as a goofy grin formed on his lips. kriff, he was happy. for once he wasn't thinking of anything else but her with him in that moment, both of them coming down from their ecstasy. he could feel that she had become just as tired as he had, and her words only confirmed it. letting out another breathy sigh, he moved his hand to drain the tub, letting the water sink around them gradually. he moved so that he was carrying her bridal style, and he stood and lifted her out of the tub, reaching for a towel with his free hand. he draped it over both of them, running it over her before drying his own body and letting it fall back to the floor. disregarding the piles of clothing on the floor, he shut off the light and carried her to the bed, placing her on the mattress gently before he climbed in beside her. "goodnight, my perfect little patient," he teased her with a smirk, kissing her cheek softly before pulling the sheets over both of them and pulling her close once again. "sleep tight."

Kyle

What the fuck is up Kyle.YouTube · · 1M · 99%Hope you enjoyed. Please like and subscribe.

Kyle: ben @ the appointment

Ben: LMAO WHRES THE LIE

Kyle: ben: hey GLENN hows it going GLENN you fake bitch

Ben: HE DIDN'T MAKE THE CONNECTION YET

Kyle: WHA T

Ben: AND HE KNOWS REY ACCIDNETALLY KSED REY AHA

Ben: he's gonna flipppa shit

Kyle: oh no

Ben: did i just say that

Ben: rey accidnetlaly ksed rey

Kyle: self love

Ben: KYLE U KNOW WHA TI MANET

Ben: why cani tnot type

Rey rey and ben had decided together that they would visit kyle the next day. she had to get her wound bandaged, as well as her bruises re-checked to make sure they were healing correctly. at her last visit, her ribs had been hurting when she turned, and she had been afraid that they were more than just simply bruised, but something worse. she put on a simple dress and flat shoes, leaving her hair down and natural, and held ben's gloved hand with both of hers as they walked down the palace halls. "it'll be fine, he's really very nice," she whispered, squeezing his fingers gently but biting her lip lightly. she turned him down the halls to where she remembered kyle's suite being, from her last visit. "be nice to him," she warned ben quietly, raising her eyebrows, then knocked on the door. "kyle? it's me, rey."

Rey: HAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Rey: i was just writing my reply and laughing at everythig that was happening

Rey: ok stina u go next then lizzie can go and we'll go like tht

Kyle Ever since Kyle's first meeting with Kylo, he was more vigilant then ever. The last thing he expected from the man was the fact that he was some sort of sith lord ( red lightsabers are only used by the sith, right? ), but even if he listened to his warning, he never really made an effort to stop Rey from meeting with him. As far as he could tell, her boyfriend was not medically trained in the slightest and she was littered with injuries. He'd still help, because that's what he did best. As he heard a knock on the door and his name being called, he placed the set of bacta patches down ( he had gone off to acquire more medical supplies, though not legally ) and made his way towards the door. As he opened it, he first saw Rey and gave her a friendly smile and greeted her, "Hey! Are you..." his eyes drifted down to the gloved hand she was holding, then upwards to see -- Oh. He stood frozen for a few moments, like a deer in headlights as his eyes met the other's. "...Hi, Kylo." He greeted softly, backing up the slightest bit in defense as a twinge of fear sped up his heartbeat.

Rey: aW poor kyle

Rey: so happy to see his friend only to realize hes about to fucking die

Kyle: kyle: its him..,,,,,evil twin

Kyle: hmmm this hux/rey thread got me.....how do you say....Èmø

Rey: A MOOD

Rey

Girls HBO - Maroon 5 & car scene-YouTube · 2:2 · 591K · 99%Girls s3ep2 -i do not own copyright-

Rey: if the first 30 seconds of this isnt reylo....,,,,,,

Kyle: kyle is in the backseat

Rey: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ben: ACCURATE

Rey

Mimi-Rose tells Adam about her abortion - GIRLSYouTube · 3:7 · 250K · 93%no my first name is mimi-rose my middle name is Eleanor ! girls s04e06

Rey: during the bathtub sex

Rey: the part where he says 'i like to watch your boobs bounce'

Rey: still tru

Ben: i'm screaming i just thought of a perfect edit for that part

Rey: omf what is it

Ben: nOW I HAVE TO EDIT IT

Ben: let me see how quickly i can do it lol

Rey: giVE ME A REPLY FIRST

Ben: LOL OK HANG ON

Ben: ok i can't edit it easily lol but it made me think of this song LMAO

Ben

Iggy Azalea - Mo BounceYouTube · 3:24 · 56M · 78%Download / Stream Iggy Azalea "Mo Bounce" here: http://smarturl.it/MoBounce?iqid=yt Music video by Iggy Azalea performing Mo Bounce. (C) 2017 Def Jam Recordings, a division of UMG Recordings, Inc. http://vevo.ly/KZ09sg

Rey: omF G RGEUIFNJDKLM

Rey: HAAHAHAHAHAHA

Kyle: FHEKRUFGHJEKAURGDHJS

Ben: ok i swear i'll reply after i finish this thing lolol

Ben: but in the meantime

Ben

HBO Girls 3x08 "Bathtub Scene" + English accent - Lena Dunham, Adam DriverYouTube · 2:2 · 919K · 94%HBO Girls Season 3 Episode 8

Rey: I K NOW I LOVE THAT PART

Rey: THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS PICTURING WHEN YOU FIRST HAD BEN SIT IN THE TUB ACROSS FROM HER

Ben: LOL so awk that he had to bathe with Lena Dunham tho

Rey: oh ik

Rey

Adam Driver Points Himself Out in Star Wars StillsYouTube · 1:42 · 2M · 99%Adam Driver chats as much about his Star Wars: The Force Awakens character, Kylo Ren, as he can, and Jimmy has him point out exactly who he is in some teaser stills. Subscribe NOW to The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: http://bit.ly/1nwT1aN Watch The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Weeknights 11:35/10:35c Get more Jimmy Fallon: Follow Jimmy: http://Twitter.com/JimmyFallon Like Jimmy: https://Facebook.com/JimmyFallon Get more The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Follow The Tonight Show: http://Twitter.com/FallonTonight Like The Tonight Show: https://Facebook.com/FallonTonight The Tonight Show Tumblr: http://fallontonight.tumblr.com/ Get more NBC: NBC YouTube: http://bit.ly/1dM1qBH Like NBC: http://Facebook.com/NBC Follow NBC: http://Twitter.com/NBC NBC Tumblr: http://nbctv.tumblr.com/ NBC Google+: https://plus.google.com/+NBC/posts The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon features hilarious highlights from the show including: comedy sketches, music parodies, celebrity interviews, ridiculous games, and, of course, Jimmy's Thank You Notes and hashtags! You'll also find behind the scenes videos and other great web exclusives. Adam Driver Points Himself Out in Star Wars Stills http://www.youtube.com/fallontonight

Rey: iM DYING AT HTI S

Rey: LIKE LITERALLY LAUGHIGN SO HARD

Ben: HE'S SO PURE i love it

Ben after the previous evening, ben was feeling a bit better about going with rey to the doctor; maybe this guy actually knew what he was doing and was just helping her out of courtesy. it still annoyed him slightly that she had used his name to try to spark jealousy within him even if she had just been teasing, but he trusted her and planned to act cordial with the other, for her sake. he rolled his eyes with a small smirk at her words, but when the door opened and he saw the man standing in the doorframe, his smirk immediately faded. this wasn't kyle, this was glenn. just then, ben remembered what he'd noticed - how he'd sensed that glenn was a false identity. his suspicions were now confirmed, and he remembered what kyle had told him...he clenched rey's hand tighter, his eyes widening in frustration as he glared at the doctor. or so he called himself. "glenn," ben snapped in return, exchanging a knowing glance with him. "so you're kyle, huh?"

Rey: oh MY GOD I FORGOT THAT BEN KNOWS THAT THEY KISSED

Ben: NOW HE DOES

Kyle: rip kyle

Rey her smile faded immediately at his frightened expression. sure, ben had an intimidating appearance, but this man acted as if he had met him already. which it became obvious that they had as soon as he greeted him as well and backed up. she began to tell him it was alright, that he could relax, but she stopped when she felt ben's hand squeeze hers tightly. she let out a quiet wince and looked up at him, lips parting slightly in shock at his reaction now. he looked angry. more than angry. he looked infuriated. "...what...?" she asked in confusion as ben called him by a different name, looking between them both. "y-you've met?" that meant kyle already had a skewed image of him in his head. she sighed slightly and let go of ben's hand so she could step towards kyle, gently placing her hands on his arms. "it's alright. he just came because he wanted to be here for me. i promise it's fine," she reassured him gently, her smile warm, but slightly forced in her apprehension. what had happened between them...?

Rey: rip rey too tbh

Rey: never thought a rey/hux thread would make me so emo but here w are

Kyle: bood

Kyle Kriff, he looked infuriated to see him. Kyle clenched his jaw when Kylo spoke of his alias. "...Surpriiiiise." He joked quietly, nervously waving his hands a little in some attempt at jazz hands. He bit his lip slightly as her question, nodding a little. Kylo looks like he's ready to kill him. He glanced down at his arms when Rey placed her arms on him, yanking them away from her touch, knowing that it would only fuel the other man's anger. "I'm WELL aware that he wants to be here for you, he's shown me how... protective, he is." His voice dropped down to a quick whisper, pausing once to sigh before continuing. "...Rey, I told him about the accident."

Rey: oh its gonna break reys heart that he did that

Rey: https://img.ifcdn.com/images/bee9e596f8c...

Rey: reylo

Kyle: jfc

Ben: two chatzys this is trippy

Ben: bUT OMG YIKES NOOOOO

Rey: ikr

Ben: that photo i a ms cared

Rey: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Ben he could tell that rey was surprised to find out that they'd already met, but he hardly noticed her reaction, instead focusing his frustration on the doctor who'd clearly lied to him. what else had he lied about? he could easily find out by looking into his mind, but still, ben knew rey wouldn't want him to do that. his eyes moved briefly to notice her release his hand and step towards kyle, and his scowl grew, his hand instinctively darting to grip his lightsaber on his belt. he knew he couldn't whip it out all the time now, but it was something he became used to when he was angry. "the accident," he repeated with a scoff, turning his glare towards rey now before looking between the both of them. "was it really an accident? is there more i should know of?!" ben knew his tone was growing louder, but he didn't care. they'd both lied to him, in different ways, but he wasn't happy about it.

Rey when he stepped away, rey stared at him sadly, face paling a bit. already this was happening. exactly what she'd told ben her fears had been about bringing him. there was no doubt she would lose kyle as a close friend and confidant after this incident. but nothing could have prepared her for the words he said, her jaw dropping slowly and shakily. she flinched slightly as she heard ben repeat what he said, tears pricking the backs of her eyes in fear. slowly, she turned to look up at him, his stature overpowering and intimidating more than ever in that moment. when he yelled, she stepped back slightly, terrified of how he was being, and sobbed softly, shaking her head. "n-no..." she cried, taking small gasps of breath and clutching onto the skirt of her dress. again she stepped backwards, truly fearful of him in that moment. "b-ben..."

Kyle Concern flashed over his features as soon as he saw her reaction to his final words. Why didn't she tell him? Such communication was needed in their relationship, surley. But he didn't know any detail of their relationship, and at the moment he could only assume that Kylo had harmed her before with his anger. Quickly, he reached over to her and gently pulled her into a hug, turning her away from Kylo and hiding her face in his chest. "You're scaring her." He snapped, despite his own growing fear. "/Yes/, it was an accident. I told you so you wouldn't get mad at her for it, and I thought she would tell you too but..." Now he understood why. He rage truly was frightening. "She's scared of you. She's scared of your anger. Please try to calm down for her sake." He tried to keep his tone steady, calm and non-accusatory.

Rey: EIFNSDKLM MY HEART

Kyle: hes a good boi but too bad bens gonna kill him

Rey: kyle dont die ur too good

Ben: ok i'm cryin in the club too here

Rey: M E

Ben the frightened look on rey's face only broke him more - he was becoming a monster again, the part of him that always came out when he became upset. the part that he was never able to easily suppress, as much as he needed to at times. but it was true - the two had kissed, and how was he to know nothing else had happened? rey hadn't told him of any of it, yet she'd still brought up kyle the previous night in a way that ben disliked, and knowing there was more to that story now brought out his fury. plus the fact that kyle was the one treating rey, and the fact that he was now hugging her as if he were the one to protect her. the sight of it made ben nauseous, but he glared at the two, attempting briefly to calm himself but failing at it. kyle's words felt like a punch to the stomach. who gave him the right to say how rey felt towards him? "don't tell me what to do!" ben snapped again, fighting the urge to draw his lightsaber but knowing it would only make rey more upset. even though he was upset with her, he didn't want kyle's words to be true. he didn't want to scare her. "let her go," he demanded, a bit quieter than before, but his voice still firm.

Rey as soon as kyle pulled her into a hug, rey curled against his chest and sobbed into his shirt, trembling lightly in fear. this wasn't ben; this was kylo ren. and she didn't want any part of kylo. she wanted ben back. she flinched again in fear as he yelled at kyle, her sobs only increasing as well as her shaking. her breathing was swift and uneven now, wheezes beginning to join them, and her heart was racing with her fear. when he ordered kyle to let her go, rey backed away i an instant, not wanting to risk upsetting ben more, as much as she needed kyle's comfort. but it was also for her own sake, as she pressed her hand to her chest and continued breathing heavily, though her tears didn't stop streaming down her cheeks. just as it had hurt when she'd been laughing with kyle, it was hurtng now from her sobs, and she stumbled aside, still holding her chest as she keeled over slightly and began whining in pain.

Kyle When he snapped at him he flinched, his grip on Rey tightening a moment before loosening again. He took in a shaky breath before speaking again, keeping his tone calm. "I'm not telling you what to do, I'm just asking you to try." Kyle took note of the quieter tone the other took on with his last words and nodded quickly as Rey backed away from him. "Look, it's hurting her. She needs to calm down so she can breathe easier, and she won't stop crying until you stop." He gestured to Rey with a hand, trying to force Kylo to watch her current state, until she stumbled and began to whine in pain. He rushed over, careful not to touch her as he quickly commented to Kylo on the side. "You can yell at me all you want later." He turned his attention to her once more before taking on a softer tone in an attempt to comfort her quietly. "Rey? It's alright, he's not going to hurt you... I need you to take a couple deep breaths for me, okay? I know it hurts, but you'll feel better, I promise." He gently whispered to her, instructing her when to inhale and exhale, casting glances to the other man out of worry, hoping that he would be calm enough to stop Rey from cowering in fear.

Rey: i love one (1) kyle

Kyle: hes trying his bes t

Rey joined the chat 74 days ago

Ben: hi sorry i am here hello and yikes

Ben: ok i'm distracted af bUT THIS REMINDS ME OF A SCENE FROM GATSBY IM YELLIN

Ben

The Great Gatsby - Gatsby loses his temper sceneYouTube · 2:37 · 196K · 99%

Ben: at 1:40

Ben when rey moved away from kyle, ben watched her, his anger mixing with concern at her fractured state. if it weren't for her heavy breaths and wheezes, he would've likely either punched kyle or stormed out in a preventative notion, but he couldn't leave her like this. when he kept hearing kyle speaking, he shot him another glare, a signal for him to shut up before he ended up yelling at him again. the urge to erupt was bubbling inside of him, now due to both rage and extreme worry, but he did his absolute best to keep it down. "i would never hurt her," ben snarled under his breath, attempting to focus on rey and block out kyle, but it was difficult when he was now speaking to her. as saw her frightened expression once again, his jaw twitched, hating how he had suddenly become the bad guy again. swallowing roughly and glancing at the ground briefly to calm his thinking, he finally managed to take a few breaths before returning his glare to kyle. "if you're really a doctor...then help her. now. treat her or whatever it is you need to do to make her better. but that's it."

Kyle: FBHEKUBFHJEK UR RIGHT

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Rey: OH MY GOD IT IS

Rey hurt her. rey visibly shuddered harder at those words. he hadn’t since they began their relationship, but he had before. she knew he would never do it now; right? when ben swore he wouldn’t, she managed to wince just slightly to acknowledge it, even if her sobs continued. her distraught gaze stayed locked on the ground, face pale. she could hear kyle telling her to take deep breaths, but she just shook her head swiftly, refusing to try. it hurt too bad. along with the bruises on her throat, which still affected her breathing heavily, the injuries to her chest were flaring up as her sobs continued. but she had to keep crying, both for the fear of having made ben upset and because the pain was only getting worse. not to mention how the panic was making her sweat heavily, heart pounding against her chest.

Rey: remember when anakin turned all dark on padme and she lost the will to live

Rey: this is like a less hardcore version of that

Ben: omg rey don't die

Rey: she ain’t gonna die

Rey: they’re not that hardcore

Rey: yet

Rey: remember when yoda felt the pain as order 66 was happening

Rey: thts ben as reys being tortured rip

Ben: omg tru she could summon the force bond to kick in

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Rey: god he would be terrified

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Kyle: that mood when ur not a med student or anything so you just hope webmd knows their shit

Ben: me i nthe other chatzy with the political stuff tbh

Kyle: sAME i had to google how an impeachment works bc i fukin forgo t

Kyle: also big warning but i might............put kyle on haitus bc i might bring in another oc and muse for kyle is diminishing but i will keep rping him in this chatzy do not fear

Ben: no worries i feel u

Kyle: but the new oc's fc is leonardo dicaprio.......so im excite

Ben: OMGGGG YES

Ben: FRICKIN GATSBY IN T A H FLESH

Kyle: YES HES A RLLY POPULAR AND RICH GAMBLER SO HE DEF WOULD THROW BANGIN PARTIES

Ben: DOWN AF FOR THIS

Ben: can he take ben under his wing and give him a fresh new style and makeover

Ben: and call him old sport

Kyle: oh FUCK yeah, i feel like he'd be the type to just see interesting ppl and b like "i think they'd be fun" and send them an invite to one of his parties

Ben: ben becomes the new nick

Kyle Kyle shot him a murderous glare of his own at the accusatory tone that accompanied 'if you're really a doctor'. Sure, he wasn't licensed but he was certain that he knew much more about medical care than he did; if not, then Rey wouldn't need his help in the first place. He stayed quiet, however, still fearing another outburst from the man before gently placing his hands on Rey's shoulders and directing her to the nearest chair. "Lean forward and rest your forearms on your knees, just try to breath as much as you can but as slow as you can." He tried to sooth her, gently rubbing the top of her back before giving five, firm pats -- not enough to hurt, but with enough pressure to force breaths out of her and to give her a little bit of a shock to distract her from crying momentarily in confusion. He quickly jogged to his own conservator in the kitchen, pulling out ice cubes and wrapping them in a towel before going over to the mass amounts of medical supplies that had now accumulated on his desk, picking out an Acetaminophen. Without warning, he strode over and pressed the compression to her chest, hoping that the additional shock would momentarily distract her from her tears. "You don't have to speak, just try to breathe." He knew that she was panicking, so with caution, he looked over his shoulder back to Kylo, quietly speaking to him with slight fear lacing his voice. "She's... she's on the brink of a panic attack, so if you could... try to comfort her..." He wasn't even sure if the other had calmed down enough to do so, but he had to at least try and ask for his assistance.

Rey: dude i love kyle

Rey: tbh this whole time i just thought you were a genius w medical stuff i would’ve never known u were looking it up stina

Kyle: whfjerubhjfksbhrj no i am just a local dumbass w internet access

Rey: HAHAHHAHAHHA MOOD

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Rey: wtf chatzy i’m here hoe

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Ben ben watched in concern as kyle led rey to the chair, trying to suppress his frustration for her sake and letting him help her. of course he would do whatever he could to help her himself, but truthfully seeing her like this worried him when he didn't know how to heal her wounds. perhaps he could use the force in some way, but he'd never been able to heal his own wounds that way, so now might not be the best time to try it out on her. he listened to kyle's instructions, keeping his gaze on rey and checking to see if his methods were helping her in any way, but she still seemed to be in pain. ben still felt cautious of the man touching her, but he tried his best to think of it as professionally as possible, as he cared more about rey's health than his jealousy at the moment. even if they had both kept things from him. he pushed the thoughts of hostility out of his mind when kyle addressed him again, and he let out a sigh of exasperation before moving to kneel in front of rey. he placed his hands on her knees, looking up into her eyes as calmly as he could. "it's okay, i'm here, you're okay," ben spoke to her softly, relieved that he'd managed to tame his temper for the time being and hoping that he could coax her back to relaxation. he took a deep breath, sending calm and soothing vibrations to her through their bond. "we're not fighting, we'll...work things out...in a...civil manner." he shot another glare at kyle, but his eyes softened slightly to let the man know he was willing to cooperate for rey's sake.

Rey rey let out more whines of pain as kyle took her by her shoulders to sit her down, her left one flaring up due to the still untreated lightsaber wound she had received from ravana. but she kept the sleeve of her dress over it, still, not wanting him to see it now. she did what he asked, trembling arms pressed to trembling knees, and still kept sobbing heavily as he told her to breathe. it seemed almost impossible at this point, but she was forced to gasp sharply when he hit her back. each time he did brought a jolt and a gasp from her, causing her to cough after. but still her tears fell, her thoughts only on ben. she had hid the truth from him to avoid this type of reaction, but it happened anyway. maybe he hated her. her heart sped faster as a terrified whimper escaped her, completely horrified at the idea of him detesting her. but then a sharp rush of coldness hit her chest, and she shouted out, squeezing her eyes shut. years of adjusting to the scorching jakku sun made her more sensitive to anything cold. only ben really knew that. she squirmed and moved even now, at the ice pack, but froze instantly as ben knelt before her. her still teary eyes locked onto his, finding herself unable to look away, no matter how scared she was. she took a deep breath at the same time as he did, their bond strengthening again, and calmed more and more as the artificial feelings hit her. they weren't fighting. he wasn't mad ( or so he said ). her panicking slowed more and more, although her heart rate was taking longer to settle. she wasn't anywhere near her normal self, but she was calmer now. however, the pain lingered, and she tugged at the collar of her dress as her chest ached. but she winced and looked aside, down at her shoulder, quickly, finding that the material of her dress had stuck to the wound. not thinking about the repercussions, and only wanting to not be in pain anymore, rey sniffed and began to remove her dress shakily, just wanting to be relieved of the pain.

Rey: sry bean

Ben: ben @ kyle rn

Ben: https://goo.gl/images/pHq4Z2

Rey: UFIDHSJNLZJFJIOR

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Rey: hello i am here

Ben: 👀

Rey: oH unexpected arrival whaddup

Ben: gonna eat some japanese so feeling glorious

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Rey: a mood

Kyle A breath of relief left him as Kylo moved forward to comfort, quickly nodding to what he said and ignoring the glare, even if he wasn't really listening. He was too focused on the task at hand. His brows furrowed when Rey began to squirm, pulling away the ice pack as she peeled off the top of her dress. Her bare state didn't affect him in the slightest; he's seen and worked on a multitude bare and mutilated bodies before and, to be frank, he was a professional. "What caused this? How old is the wound?" He asked quickly as soon as the burn came into view, putting the Acetaminophen and ice pack to the side before rushing over to the desk again, grabbing a stronger anti-inflammatory drug to ease her pain, then took alcoholic wipes, anti-biotic, and two bacta patches before returning, already ripping open an wipe and gently dabbing at wound. After cleaning it to the best of his ability, he lightly jogged back to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and returned, holding the two pills and glass out for her. "Rey, you need to swallow these pills. They're pain-killers and you'll feel a lot better after you take them."

Rey: 'bad day not to wear a bra' - mike hannigan

Ben joined the chat 72 days ago

Ben ben was relieved to see that his words and vibrations were beginning to calm rey down, noticing how her panic was decreasing and feeling her beginning to relax ever so slightly. however, he could tell she was still in pain, and he wished he was able to heal her bruises the same way he could calm her emotions. but when the pain became too much for her that she started taking off her dress, ben's eyes widened, immediately feeling uncomfortable. he didn't like this situation one bit, and it was only getting more awkward with the other man in the room as well, but he tried to focus on helping her feel better. "you'll feel better, don't worry," he whispered to her, but still found his jaw twitching at the discomfort he now felt. he was the only one who had supposedly seen her like this, even if it had been in an entirely different context, but still. letting out a quick huff, he reluctantly allowed kyle to continue the treatment, relieved that the man didn't seem at all phased by the awkward situation. maybe it was possible that ben truly had overreacted. adjusting his mindset to the best of his ability to convince himself that this was completely professional, he rubbed her knees gently, nodding at the medicine the doctor was giving her. for some reason, he trusted that it would help. "go ahead, it's okay."

Rey unable to answer any of his questions in that moment, rey just winced and closed her eyes tightly, letting her dress fall to the floor at her feet. all she had on was her underwear, but she had chosen to go without a bra that day, for ease. it was better, though, since she finally felt comfortable enough to let kyle look at the bruises themselves now. they were bad, and ben knew it too. she just wanted to be sure there were no serious problems. she looked down at ben again when he spoke to her, his reassuring tone sending more calmness through her body, though it was more genuine now. she clutched onto his shirt gently and managed to take one swift deep breath before yelping in pain when kyle began cleaning her wound. she whimpered and tried to tug away from him, eyes pleading for him to stop. a few more tears fell as he finally pulled the wipe away, and rey let out a gentle sob of pain as she rested her forehead against ben's, though she peeked up again as kyle returned. after he offered the pills, she immediately looked to ben for his approval and allowance. he seemed to think it was okay, so she shakily accepted the pills. never had she taken any before, but she let kyle guide her into putting them in her mouth and not chewing, but swallowing them down with water. she coughed afterwards and handed back the water glass, returning her forehead to rest against ben's. still, small whines left her lips, but gradually, over the course of a minute, they slowed to a stop, and she was just breathing shakily. not wanting to endure anymore pain of the healing process, rey shied away from kyle and slid out of the chair into ben's arms, hiding her face, and consequently her shoulder, in his chest.

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Rey: getting my costume i’m about to cry

Ben: EXCITING send a pic!

Rey joined the chat 71 days ago

Rey: I WILL

Rey: it’s in my front seat

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Kyle His features contorted into an apologetic look at her winces and whines, trying to get through the process quickly for her sake. However, he looked to her with concern once more as he saw the bruises across her chest. He was sure that she didn't have a broken rib, but it would still be a painful couple of weeks for her. Kyle sighed as she took the pill and handed back the water, content with her compliance. When Rey moved to Kylo's arms, he chewed the inside of his cheek in thought before grabbing two medical supplies and kneeling down to their level. "She needs to dress her wound with these to prevent infection." He spoke directly to Kylo now, seeing that Rey wont allow any treatment to be done to her without his approval ( which he found to be little absurd, but that was an issue for another day ). "You can put it on her, if that's more comfortable for the both of you. Just apply a tiny bit of this on the wound," He held out the tube of anti-biotic, "and then patch it up with this." Then held out the bacta patch in the other hand, presenting them both to him. No one needs a medical degree to preform the very basic form of first aid.

Rey: i see ur lil bit of sass kyle

Rey: i see u

Rey joined the chat 71 days ago

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Ben he watched her take the pills, carefully making sure that she was able to get them down properly. hopefully they would do the job, and surprisingly enough kyle's quick and professional steps were making it much easier to view him as simply any other doctor, helping him to push his earlier thoughts of anger and frustration out of his mind almost completely. it didn't mean he liked the man personally, but he had a bit more respect for him now. as she rested her forehead against his, ben tapped his fingers on her knees reassuringly, eyes gazing into hers. "you're doing good." when she moved into his arms, he held her protectively, glancing at kyle briefly. he listened to the man's description of how to treat her wounds, and paused before nodding slowly. "alright," he responded, taking the anti-biotic and bacta patch from him. the explanation seemed easy enough; surely he would be able to treat rey on his own. turning his attention to her again, he spoke quietly to her, still trying to relax her. "do you want me to put it on now? or when we get back to the suite?"

Rey his praise meant more to her than he probably knew. she had never received medical help in her life, and right now, it was all overwhelming for her. but she trusted him and she trusted kyle, and their reassuring words were easing her panic. as he held her, rey felt her eyes get heavy and her body relax, becoming comfortable in his embrace. she was about ready to fall asleep, the pills hitting her hard, when he spoke to her again. slowly, she pulled her face back from his shoulder, looking up into his eyes but coughing softly and placing her hand on her throat. still those bruises affected her breathing, and her heavy crying had only made it worse. she coughed again, shutting her eyes tightly, then took an uneven deep breath, her throat feeling tight. but she turned towards ben slightly and gave a slight nod, wordlessly letting him know he could do it now. she wanted to tell kyle about the struggle with her breathing, as well as how much her chest was aching. she still had to tell him the whole truth about her wound. coughing one more time then clearing her throat, she managed to point to her shoulder then whisper, "lightsaber wound... f-from a day ago..."

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Kyle: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Rey: HAHAHAHAHAH

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Kyle "...A lightsaber wound." He repeated to himself, in slight disbelief. He's never treated one; he's never had to treat one before. He brought a hand to hover over his lips in thought as he tried to think of a proper treatment. However, there really wasn't much he could do. The wound was already cauterized, bleeding slightly, but it was a closed wound. It was too late to apply something to prevent the wound from scarring, but it was only a defined spot with a small diameter. She should be fine with this. Though, he couldn't stop himself from letting his thoughts wander. The weapon Kylo had brandished and used against the wall was a lightsaber, wasn't it ( even if it looked a little funky )? Could he have done this to her? There was a small possibility, but judging by how protective he was of her, and how she looked to him for guidance, it was most likely not the case. "Thank you for telling me, but the would will heal just fine, Rey." Since she was speaking once more, he decided to take the opportunity to question her further. "Is the bruise on your chest from the fight too? From being stepped on?"

Hux: fuckking

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Rey: bood

Ben joined the chat 68 days ago

Ben seeing her in pain only made him feel more uneasy, but her nod of approval reassured him, as they were making progress if she was allowing him to treat her. carefully he positioned her in his lap, then removed his glove before squeezing a bit of the anti-biotic onto his index finger. he turned back to her chest, rubbing the cream over her bruises gently, then removed the backing on the bacta patch before pressing it over the area. "all done," he promised softly, bringing his arm to wrap around her shoulder soothingly. as soon as she pointed to it, however, he noticed the wound again, leaning forward to examine it better. the way the other man repeated her words made it seem like he'd never heard of the weapon before, which caused ben to raise an eyebrow in disbelief. but still he watched as the doctor seemed to consider another treatment, only to suggest that it wasn't necessary in this case. for rey's sake, ben hoped he was right, but he figured the wound would eventually heal on its own. he'd suffered from a fair share of lightsaber and blaster wounds himself, and none had been anything to hold him down for long. when kyle mentioned that she'd been stepped on, ben turned to rey incredulously, his eyes widening. "stepped on? what is he talking about? who stepped on you?!"

Rey rey nodded shakily, running her hand down her face. she still felt clammy, but she decided not to tell either of them, and hoped they wouldn’t take notice. her eyes followed ben’s hands as they treated her wounds, and she gave occasional whimpers whenever he hit a sensitive area, but she looked down at herself when he finally finished. by the time he had told her he was all done, she’d realized she’d had tears of pain in her eyes, and she wiped them away with a small sniff. she watched kyle as ben inspected her wound, though she remained in his lap. she felt the most comfortable there, after all. however, as soon as kyle mentioned how she’d received the bruises, rey’s eyes widened and she began to shake her head discreetly. but ben had already reacted, and she sighed in defeat, her gaze moving downwards. after a long few seconds, she murmured, “it was when phasma and i fought... she kicked me in the face and stepped on my chest...” she took a deep breath, but winced and pressed a few trembling fingers to her ribcage, where her chest was still dully aching. “the lightsaber wound was from another fight... a-and these are from a third fight.” she pointed lamely to the bruises on her neck, remembering hers and ravana’s first encounter. still her breathing wasn’t solid. “i-i know it’s only gonna get worse too...” slowly, she looked from kyle to ben, her eyes sad and exhausted. all of her attackers were people he was civil with. it still hurt her to think about that. gently, she grabbed kyle’s hand and pressed it to the center of her chest. “it-it feels like something’s out of place, m-maybe something’s broken,” she guessed quietly, desperate for him to think of any treatment to make them heal up sooner. she didn’t want anymore pain.

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Kyle: im so sorry feel free to execute me

Rey: HAHAHAHHAHAHA

Rey: ur fine omg

Kyle When Kyle had noticed Rey shaking her head, the words had already left his lips, and all he could do was give an apologetic look, now watching as Kylo reacted to the news. When she grabbed his hand to place on her chest, his brows furrowed, lightly pressing the swelling area. "...Nothing should be broken, unless the pain is sharp." He thought to himself before sighing and looking to the side in thought again. There was a chance that the sternum could of been fractured due to the impact, but the only treatment needed for that would be rest and icing the area occasionally. But she had said that something felt out of place and that confused him. After a moment he spoke again, looking between Rey and Kylo to address them both. "There's a chance you could of fractured a bone, but for that, all you'd need is to rest for a few weeks. Take pain medication as needed. Bacta might help, but since it's internal, it wouldn't do much." He looked to her neck then, and pulled his hand away, getting up to retrieve strips of longer bacta patches before returning. "Do you taste any blood when you wake up? Or when you cough?" He questioned to make sure there was no internal bleeding in the neck, in case any capillaries was ruptured in the fight.

Rey joined the chat 67 days ago

Ben joined the chat 67 days ago

Ben ben's anger grew at rey's explanation, his fist now clenching in fury again. he'd known that phasma was not fond of rey and that they had an unfortunate encounter, but he did not know that the captain had physically kicked and stepped on rey's chest, and it only pained him more now as he thought of the bruises he'd seen being from such a harsh attack. his rage towards the captain was stronger than it had been before, but right now the most important matter was rey; ben would deal with phasma later on. instinctively he coddled her into his grasp, bringing a steady hand to the back of her head. he hated the image of anyone hurting her like that, especially someone he considered a comrade, almost even a friend at times. as she continued speaking, he pulled back gently, examining the other wounds as she pointed to them. ben hated that she had managed to get involved in so many physical fights lately, and part of him wanted to keep her stowed away in their suite so that no one else could attempt to harm her. but he knew he couldn't do that. he frowned when rey pressed kyle's hand to her chest, still annoyed by the other man's presence, but he remained professional. "i'll help you take your medicine every day," ben assured her, rubbing her back comfortingly. "and we can halt training and other physical activities for a little while. you can stay at home and rest, i'll take care of things."

Rey fractured a bone. the idea of that made her shudder, but rey swallowed thickly and nodded her head. a few weeks. that sounded like forever, in her mind. they were still developing the plan regarding the takedown of snoke. she needed to be at her fullest potential for that. when ben caressed the back of her head, rey bit her lip and relaxed even more, feeling calmer in his hold. but she looked up at him when he said he would help her through this, smiling just a bit in appreciation. at the mention of no physical activity, though, she frowned. that meant no more training. and less... other physical things she did with ben. there was no way that was going to stop, no matter what she was going through. she rested her forehead against his lips for a few moments then pulled away to look over at kyle, noting the patches in his hands. she shook her head slightly. "no..." she whispered. "but i get out of breath really easily... when ben and i train, i'll start wheezing quickly. when... when i was crying, it felt harder to breathe... but my chest was also hurting..." she sighed sadly, glancing downwards. life was so much easier when it was just her on jakku. sure, she had fights with other scavengers sometimes, but it was never anything personal. it was just over them trying to steal from her, and rey defending herself. now that she had a family, a man to love, and everything she ever wanted... it was only affecting her physically for the worse. she buried her face in her hands for a few moments, sniffing softly. she knew it would only get worse from here, too.

Kyle: i cant believe rey would die for the dick

Rey: for adam driver dick, yeah

Rey: i would too

Ben: LMAO REY U NEEDA HEAL THO

Rey: 'buT UR DICK IS MEDICINE TOO IT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER'

Kyle Kyle nodded, "It's just swelling, then. Nothing big." He smiled softly to reassure her, kneeling down and peeling off the protective backing of the bacta strips. Now that Kylo seemed much calmer, he took the chance to quickly apply the strips, gently nudging Rey to tilt her head upwards by tapping the underside of her chin with his fingers. "I can give you a bottle of anti-inflammatory pills for the swelling. If it flares up just put some ice on it for a little while and it should ease away." Swiftly, he placed the strips on her neck, never directly touching her skin. "I can give you a container of bacta for the rest of your bruises, too. All you need to do is rub some on twice a day." He offered a reassuring smile again to Rey, and turned to Kylo with the same smile until he realized what he was doing and coughed awkwardly, turning away and standing up to retrieve the other pills and bacta.

Ben at her words, he recalled how she'd grown tired faster after training, usually opting for a short break or a drink of water, which he had of course granted her. but he hadn't quite connected it to being a sure sign of her injuries. now, however, it made much more sense, and he felt guilty for encouraging her to fight and train harder. he thought to their previous evening as well, wondering if the activity had put an additional strain on her healing. looking down for a moment shamefully, he bit his lip, wishing there were a way to instantly alleviate her wounds and take away the pain. if only the force worked in such ways. but he felt surprisingly a bit relieved at kyle's words, especially knowing that none of her bones had been broken. he allowed the other to put the bacta strips on her neck, holding her hand as he did so. "it'll be okay," ben promised again, knowing she was still worried despite their reassurance. "a bit of rest and the pain will go away soon enough." when kyle spoke once again, ben noticed his awkward smile and frowned in return. though truthfully, he had started to feel grateful towards the doctor for helping rey. he wouldn't have known to treat her with the anti-biotics, or how to properly care for the wounds afterwards. so hesitantly, he nodded, managing the words, "thank you."

Rey when kyle tapped under her chin with two fingers, rey jumped slightly, her hands falling from her face, but realized he wanted her to tilt her chin back so he could apply the strips. she swallowed nervously but did so, her breathing already hoarser from being in this position. she winced softly when he applied the strips, and it took everything in her ( plus the comfort of ben's hand in her own ) to not yank herself away. she was glad when it was over and backed up quickly, giving kyle a tentative look. but he was no enemy, she knew that. they both spoke so simply of her injuries, but she couldn't push away the truths she knew in her head. there would be no way that ravana and phasma, or even snoke, would suddenly not do anything to her, if given the chance. in fact, she assumed she might only return to kyle's place the following week for a new set of injuries. it would surely only get worse. as ben thanked kyle, rey slowly pushed herself up to her feet, still unsteady following her panic, but made her way to the mirror near the front door, inspecting her ( almost ) entirely bare body with a sad look. just nineteen years old and covered with bruises and bacta patches and other wounds. how could it be that her first real relationship of any kind with a human in years had only been mere weeks ago? she brought her fingers to the patch on her chest and tugged at the corner slightly before looking over at them and trying to keep the sorrow out of her eyes. she parted her lips to say something, but no words came out, and she instead just rubbed at her eyes with a quiet exhale, feeling utterly exhausted and stressed. far too much so for a girl her age.

[melodymishahiddlestan]

Summers in Scotland

Authors Notes: I became inspired to write this after I had finished reading a marvellous Tom Hiddleston AU fic. I just had a thought what if you met your soulmate but they were too old for you? Say they were over 18 when you were under 16, how would both react and how would you both cope? Would you even like the fact you were soul-marked to each other? How would your family and your soul-marks react to this news… Set first in 2001 then jumps ahead few years every so often and then ends up in 2018 during the filming for infinity wars (Soul-Mark AU) Summary: 15 year old Abigail Matthews visits her father and step family in Scotland and get roped into helping out at the local amateur dramatics group where she meets her soul mark ‘Tom’ Pairing: OFC x Tom Hiddleston Word Count: 2,162 NO WARNING ~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 1 It is universally known that soul-marks appear on the body when a child comes into their 12th year. Now it doesn't always happen but that may come down the fact the other words have yet to be born/turn 12, in which case the older individual would have to wait. Now should you turn 12 and your words appear that means your mate is older... this happened to me… My Name is Abi Matthews. As soon as I turned 12 the words "Hello, I'm Tom, nice to you meet you, so Shannen said you can Draw?" appeared on the inside of my right lower arm, in what I can only assume was 'Tom' very neat handwriting. Now the only person I showed these words too were my mum and she instantly recommended I cover them up to avoid jealousy from others as not everyone gets their soul mark straight away and not everyone knows their name. She gave me a Holo-Sleeve and I’ve worn it ever since, occasionally taking off during my baths to admire the beauty of my Soul-marks handwriting and wondering if he was doing the same to mine and hoping he can read it… Now just before my 12th Birthday my parents, David and Maria (who weren't soul-marked together), Split-up after my dad had met his words and had moved to Scotland to be with Rowena and her two kids, Gavin & Susan, my step siblings, (Gavin is 2 years older than me and Susan who is 2 years younger) their father had died when Susan was just a baby. Now I didn't get to meet my 'Tom' as I referred to him as for another 3 years after the initial appearance on my 12th Birthday, and in the summer of 2001 I did and this is the story. Now every year after my parents split up I would go visit him and my new family in Edinburgh in the summers and half terms, it was lovely and I thoroughly enjoyed my time there, Rowena was a lovely lady, she didn’t treat me any differently to her own children and even suggested to my dad they find a bigger house so I had my own room instead of having to share with Susan whenever I visited. Now my dad worked as a Eduactional advisor, helping to improve schools, and because of this he was asked if he would be willing to go to another School somewhere else in Scotland and work his magic there, he accepted and that’s why they moved to Greenock from Edinburgh. Now on the fateful summer I met my soul-mark after just arriving to Greenock, Rowana announced she was getting involved in helping out the local Junior amateur dramatics group her friend Morag ran and as it was a Junior that Gavin, Susan and I must join in as it would be a great way for us to meet other kids our age, now Gavin and Susan had already met the kids in the area having already been living in Greenock for a term, this I suspected was a ploy on Rowena’s part to include me more, now I didn’t mind as much cause it beat me staying in all the time but it would mean I would not get to spend as much time with my dad while I was up in Scotland. Rowena assured me it would not take up too much of my time and knowing I was a shy thing assured me I wouldn’t have to be on stage, instead I could maybe work backstage, but said I could go for the first meeting and that if it wasn't my cup-of-tea I didn't have to go again. I said I would think about it. I did and I was kind of curious to see what they would do at this ‘amateur dramatics group’ and three days later, I’m walking into the hall where the production would eventually take place was daunting, it was huge and there were a lot of kids around my age, some younger like Susan, some older like Gavin and I didn't know anyone. As soon as we arrived Gavin and Susan went off to hang out with their friends whilst I stood with Rowena, she informed me she was just going to have ‘a wee chat’ with her friend and I was to wait here, I said that was fine. I sat on my own, I was sitting at the window and looked out at the view which was beautiful and not realising I was even doing it, got out my art book (that I carry everywhere) and the pencil that was always stuck behind my ear, and started sketching away at the landscape, I must have only been at it for a few minutes when a voice came up behind me and shocked me out of my daze, “Bloody hell you’re good” I looked up to see a small red headed girl with glasses wearing an oversized zipped coat which was fastened up to her neck, which I though was odd for the warm weather Greenock was currently having. She was looking down at me smiling, “you gonna help with the scenery?” she asked in her Scottish accent, but she continued before she gives me a chance to respond, “oooh I do hope so, we need your kinda talent, the last guy, Robbie, he upped and disappeared half way the post production last year, left me and Morag in a sticky situation I tell you,” “I don’t know, I’m not sure my mum, I mean Step-mum said I could think about it,” I replied quietly, the red headed girl sat down next to me, “Ah you’re English, I do love your accents, their so quaint,” she smiled at me again, and she looked like she was hiding something a small bit of desperation and I knew I couldn’t leave this girl alone, “please say you will, I don’t think I can do it all on my own,” she looked over at Morag who was still busy chatting away with Rowena, “keep this on the down low okay? but Morag? she told me we’re doing a Shakespeare production of a Midsummer Night Dream, and I can’t draw for shit, I’m more a painter, and well im sure you’ll be able to draw a fairy world,” “I think I could, Midsummer is actually one of my favourite of Shakespeare plays,” I admit to my new friend, “'Set your heart at rest, The fairy land buys not the child of me'” “Ya wha?” asks my Red headed acquaintance looking lost, “Sorry, it’s a quote from the play? The Fairy Queen Titania says it in Act II, scene 1, I told you it was my favourite,” I shy apologise after exposing my geekiness, “She’s my favourite character” “oh” she says looking more interested, “You should audition, if you know the part so well,” “Oh no, I tend to stay out of the limelight, that’s more suited to my sister Susan,” “Susan?” my bespectacled friend asks, “Yes, Susan MacLeod” I confirm as I point over to my blond haired step sister who was busy chattering away with her friends, “Susan MacLeod? Is your sister? So that makes Gavin…?” “Yup, my older brother, well step-brother, he’s cool, their mum, Rowena, is my dad’s soul-mark, she’s alright too, she’s making a real effort, so is Gavin to include me, Susan not so much, if ya ask me she’s a bit stuck up,” “Aye, you can say that again,” smirks my new friend, “Oh by the way, I’m Shannen,” I raise my eyebrows, surely not… she puts her hand out for me to take of which I politely accept, “Shannen McManon, but you can call me Ginge,” she winks, “Ooh, hello… I’m Abigail Matthews… but please call me Abi, only my dad gets to call me Abigail,” I awkwardly laugh, grinning at our new budding friendship, “So you’ll help me? With the scenery? I could really do with the help this year,” she pleads “You know what? I will, I’ll help you, I already have some sketch ideas we can use,” I show her my art book, “I have more back home,” her eyes widen at them, “Their brilliant Abi!” she asks to look closer, I nod and she takes the book looing through, “These are beautiful Abi, you’re amazing,” “Thanks, I’m going to get into art school when I finish school next year,” I inform her “Same here, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that now,” “How come?” I ask but Shannen, sorry Ginge, doesn’t answer, instead she passes my art book back and looks me in the eye, “I’m gonna tell Morag you’re on board,” she gets up slowly and walks over to where Morag was talking to Rowena, not before she gives me a Hug, “Thank you,” I sit back and watch as Ginge, walks off, and I ponder, rubbing my arm where my soul-mark is hidden under my holo-sleeve, surely the ‘Shannen’ my Tom mentions in his words isn’t the one I’ve just met… surely not, that’s too much of a coincidence. I look up again at where Ginge had gone and noticed another woman had joined Morag and Rowena, and there was a young man standing with them aswell, the trio were talking animatly, the young man stood silently by the woman’s side, I assume she’s his mother due to similarities in their facial features and the blond hair. Ginge approaches Morag, politely interrupting the three ladies conversation, Morag turns towards her with a smile which opens out to a bigger smile, Ginge continues to talk to the ladies and I’m drawn to the young man. I was instantly knocked back by just how handsome and cute the young man was, and how tall he was too, he had blond curly hair which looked like he had attempted to brush it but lost and he was wearing a green short sleeve shirt over a white sleeve top and jeans, he turned to look towards me and It was then I got to see he had really nice eyes, like two sapphires, how I’d love to get hold of him and ask if he’ll let me draw him, he obviously noticed me staring and smiles, I blush having been caught and its then his face snaps towards something Ginge says and then he looks back at me in surprise, I smile at him, that’s when I see Morag and Rowena walking over towards me, Ginge looking from me to the young blond and grinning, I snap out of it when I hear my name, “Abi, Shannen tells me you’re on board with helping out backstage with the set design and back drops, is that correct?” asks Morag, a large Scottish lady with a jet black hair and a happy face, I slowly nod, “That’s fantastic news, so glad to have you on board, now if you’ll excuse me I shall rally the troops and introduce everyone,” Rowena gives me a huge smile and brief hug and winks at me and follows Morag on stage, along with the woman who was talking to them earlier, the young man now having disappeared. I get up out my seat and start to walk over to Ginge, but like the cute blond she too has disappeared, I decide to sit on the window sill high up so to find Shannen’s Ginger hair in the crowd only to discover most of the people here had red hair, I sit back and ponder, but not for long. Morag is on the stage and I vaguely hear her talk about how this year’s production was going to be more professional and that they had go more funding and that the lady; a Diana Hiddleston, who was an arts administrator and stage manager would be assisting in this year’s production of ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’ and that her son would be helping due to him currently studying the classics at Cambridge and was here on an advisory capacity due to his vast knowledge of Shakespeare. So the cutie knew his Bill eh? I bet he don’t know as much as me about this play, I laugh at my obnoxious thought, he goes to Cambridge Abi, of course he’ll knows more than me! And I shake my head of that silly thought. I don’t notice the unruling blond head of hair in front of me, lean against the window ledge I was sitting on till Morag finished her introduction, he turns around and looks at me, we’re about face to face now I’m higher up, he smiles at me and I’m almost knocked out by the beauty of it, he is really rather handsome, he places his hand out in front of himself, I instantly take it, "Hello, I'm Tom, nice to you meet you, so Shannen said you can Draw?" TO BE CONTINUED -------------- Please tell me if you wish me to remove you from the tag list and if you want me to add you. Please be kind. Tag List: @srj1990 @this-ginger-has-no-soul @thatawkwardtinyperson @mar-gega @wayward-mirage @faith-in-dean @rowdyhooliganism @thewhiterabbit42 @emilyevanston @stephkfay @angryschnauzer @bovaria @nuggsmum @rosereidgibbshotch @deannathegeek @vampiechelle @peaceloveancolor @sammy-moo @m1sund3rst0od @memoirsofamessybitch @mummabro @deezyd19 @phoenixfire2912