#rick's design in the show is straight ass...

[algenica]

if he's invincible why can i see h- [gunshot]

[downbadperture]

Hello my good sir, to whom which I have never interacted before in my entire life. I would simply like to request from your wares, perhaps some Space core X reader headcanons, specifically maybe either android or human design space core x reader headcanons. Perhaps even maybe some Corrupted core in general(Rick, Fact and Space) X reader hcs ...... If you choose to answer this ask I will be humbly grateful and possibly in your debt.

Hello good anon, and yes I will get to these! We need more people who have your fine tastes. Goodbye good shar- I mean everyday human with gills and sharp teeth. I'm making these guys androids cuz that's funner.

Android!Corrupted Cores x GN!Reader Headcanons!

Space Core!

~ No-one knows why you went for him.

~ Very physically affectionate! Like he'll ramble incomprehensibly for hours at a time about space while cuddled in your arms and laying his head on your shoulder. Not many people actually listen to him as much as you do, so he finds a lot of comfort in being around you.

~ This includes hugs. Lots and lots of hugs. Since he's made of metal it can sometimes be painful when he runs up and hugs you from behind while pressing his face up against your back. But you bare for his sake.

~ If you actually mention something about space, showing that you actually retained what he's said to you about the wonders of space, he'll actually start overheating and steam starts spewing out of him.

~ He constantly about talks about you two going to space together. He even drew you guys in a rocket ship in space on a whiteboard with sharpie once.

~ His petnames about you are space related, always, no exceptions. He even just straight up calls you Space sometimes despite that being his name as well, he just loves you so much that space feels like the only proper petname for you. Sometimes he'll just default to calling you sun because you're the center of his solar system.

~ He giggles hysterically whenever you kiss him

~ If you fall asleep on him, he'll just hum or talk to himself while holding you until you wake up.

~ Makes up space songs for you two to sing together, mostly preexisting love songs that he just parodies to be about space. You sing so loud that it echoes around the facility

~ You're the only one who really understands what he's trying to say all the time, sometimes acting as the translator for him when Space can't help but add space related words into a none-space conversation

Rick!

~ Constantly has an arm around you or is holding your hand

~ Flirts with you CONSTANTLY. Like he'll work a pick-up line or compliment into every damn conversation you have with this guy. As long as it gets some sort of reaction out of you, he'll keep doing it.

~ Though if you give him the same energy back, he'll try to brush it off like "I know that darlin, mighty sweet coming from you though," and hopes you don't notice the steam spewing out.

~ Constantly tells you stories from his 'adventures', while you just sit back and humor him for a bit. He genuinely thinks you believe the stories about him beating up 100 ninjas with nothing but his bare fists or when he tells you the story about how he single-handedly blew up Black Mesa.

~ Protects you from danger to try and impress you even if it's just a turret on the other side of the room and facing the opposite way.

~ Speaking of which, he is constantly trying to impress you. If not stories, it's him throwing himself into meaningless danger like a Turret shooting range and you being forced to repair him.

~ If he has a hat (and of course he does), he'll put his hat on your head and say "Well ain't that cute,".

~ The ultimate hype-man. He has actually does think very highly of you and respects you in his own way. So if you're doing something, especially if it revolves around fighting, he is CHEERING for you if he was forced on the sidelines. Constantly yelling to check for pressure points, to kick whatever's ass, trash talking the opponent, telling you to hit harder because he knows you can do it.

~ Though if it's something outside of fighting and action, something he doesn't really understand the appeal of, it'll sound like he's being passive aggressive at first but it's just because he doesn't really have a filter and does genuinely think you're good at whatever you do but doesn't know how to word it. But after some time passes, he'll just word the compliment like "You're kicking ass, sweetheart!" even if it's something super chill.

~ He picks you up bridal style and carries you whenever he can

~ He asks for kisses a lot too if he thinks he did something badass. Y'know that one meme where it's like "Has never kissed anyone before vs expecting tongue". His kisses are a combination of those two things because his only real references are from action movies.

Fact!

~ Unlike Space and Rick, he is not as physically affectionate. It would take him a while to actually initiate physical contact, which is probably like the most awkward hug in the world or him just pressing his mouth to your cheek. Not even kissing, just pressing his straight lips to your cheek and dryly going "mwah". He's trying is all I'm saying

~ But most often he just pats your shoulder or head, he makes sure to be careful since human skulls are allergic to metal.

~ His form of compliments would come in the form of facts. Like he would say your eye color means you would be inherently better then other people or that humans with your face are statistically more good looking then other humans.

~ When Fact says that "Fact: The Fact Sphere is the most handsome sphere" and you confirm it in some way, he just stays silent for second and process. Suddenly you start hearing fans.

~ Whenever he would go on his Fact rambles, no matter how correct or incorrect the information is, if you ask questions about it you might actually hear a hint of enthusiasm because you were actually listening to him.

~ He tries to memorize every single aspect and trait about you. To your favorite color, favorite food, your hobbies, your habits. But then the corruption kinda jumbles the information up a bit, and kinda gets those traits skewed. Like he'll give you something that he thinks is your favorite color, but in actuality it's the color that's opposite of your favorite color. But he is convinced that he's getting all the information right.

~ You're the only person who he'll ask questions for if he's interested in the topic you're talking about. He likes gathering information from you because he deems you a reliable source of information. Because outside of himself, you're the most intelligent being he knows.

~ Despite believing he is the sphere best suited to be a romantic partner, he reviews his data base every once in a while to see if he's "meeting quota to being a good partner"

~ He tries to give you petnames but there always kinda wonked up like instead of baby he called you "Infant", and instead of sweetheart he called you "Salty Esophagus".

[missr3n3]

Ctda is so fun I love it.. is there any details/ hcs you have about the characters you wanna share?

sorry for taking so long to respond, but you've activated my trap card and i needed to be at my computer so i could write this essay of a response lol

im gonna do one for each character:

jonah: though he used be be more into psychedelics as a teenager, ever since the events of vol. 2 and cdta he's entirely stopped using them. there's just to much fuel for a potential bad trip. he's also stopped drinking (though he was never did it that often in the first place) and doesn't smoke weed as often bc sarah and evelin don't want him stinking up their apartment.

adam: his black hoodie (not the BPS one) has become a comfort item for him. because he didn't have it on while he was in the Nightmare Sand Pit and was at his most vulnerable, he associates not wearing it with being in danger. since he's wearing it basically all the time though, it's gotten really worse for wear and has quite a few holes in it, which jonah helpfully fixed with various patches (you'll see them when i drop the 2011 cdta designs lol)

thatcher: since he's now a certified Old Ass Man (in his early 50s), he's fully stopped trying to look profession or trendy and has gone back to his old grunge fashion sense from the 90s. luckily, most people think this is cool af, and in particular it entertains some of the kids that ride his bus route bc they think he's an old Kurt Cobain lol

evelin: i kind of alluded to this in clear the stone chapter 3, but she and jonah didn't get along at first because she's very straight edge and he's very not. since their re-introduction in clear the stone and the events of cdta, she's a bit more understanding of his drug use (though still not entirely comfortable with it). nowadays she considers jonah to be just as close a friend to her as sarah <3

sarah: mandela getting blown tf up has actually significantly helped her with regards to moving on from her brother's death. though she can't quite put her finger on why, she as a general sense that his soul is at peace now. as a result, she intends to rebrand BPS from a paranormal investigation group to more of a horror webseries thing. she even renames the youtube channel to the bythorne paranormal show!

alt!gabriel: as far as the cdta timeline goes, he created the alternates for the sole purpose of furthering his takeover plan. alternates in this story are straight-up demons as a result, and this might come into play in an interesting way in the sequel... 👀

six: so i've mentioned before that he's an entirely separate alien in the cdta timeline that started working with alt!gabriel as a means to an end since they have similar goals (also dropped in dms that this happened in the 1920s). the reason for this is that his species feeds on pain, and alternates are really good at causing a lot of mental and sometimes physical pain. though with the alternates gone and type 6s doing a shit job at killing humans, his kind are now looking into other avenues for a food supply :)

sam: if he were voiced, i imagine he'd sound like steven as he sounds in steven universe future. pretty nerdy but with a little bit of rasp to it and a hint of theater kid lol. also! he's 6'4 and is the tallest human in cdta!

delilah: before her reversion (official temporal phenomena term for the changes type 6s went through), her alternate instincts would mainly come out in her being an obnoxious know-it-all. the type to "well AKSHUALLY 🤓" everyone around her over the slightest inaccuracies. also never admitting when she was wrong and assuming the people calling her out were just too stupid to understand her genius. basically what i'm saying is she would've love rick and morty before the reversion lol

and as a special bonus:

joel: he actually started mystifying oracle to try and prove that the paranormal didn't exist, but when he realized how many views he was getting from believers, he pivoted to over-the-top shows of the effects of the ouija board. of course it also helps that he has an actual demon in his house lol.

chloe: she met joel in college! they're both studying film, and thus shared a lot of the same classes together. joel ended up dropping out once youtube started making money for him, but they'll still meet up from time to time, especially if there's a new horror movie they want to see!

[fatgumsurpremacy-remastered]

Have you watched Emesis Blue? What did you think of it?

(I LOVED IT)

I have! I’ve also written some stuff about it!

Cw: spoilers, obvious dark subject matter

Okay, I wanna talk about the beginning and how well they portrayed true relationship between Jeremy and Fritz. It’s clear they’ve got a mutual trust in one another and it hurts all the more when Fritz finds him dead. I’m still 100% devastated by the ugly ass smile Medic gives in the respawn. That hurts me so bad man. The way they portray Fritz’s mental state decaying is chilling but it sheds him in a light that this was bred from necessity. He clearly cares about Jeremy, there would be no reason for him to go to the slaughterhouse otherwise. And while plagued with these visions he doesn’t want to worry Jeremy with trivial detail.

The setup of all of it was amazing and the amount of Kubrick references absolutely had be absorbed. It’s nice to feel a story flesh out certain properties to something entirely it’s own. The looping sequences sent chills down my spine but my favorite mindfuck were the conaghers.

Zed has to be one of my favorite renditions of Engie because of how they portray him as an active threat rather than passive danger. While he appears cool and sadistic, that coolness is out the window the second he gets a chance to play with someone he deems a threat (ie) Fritz. The moment he said “I’da got you.” and starts giggling showed me just how fucked up he was if he wasn’t already. He’s got a childish ass outlook on this, and him stuck inside a place like Teufort is absolutely NOT GOOD. (Love Teufort but it’s the shittiest map. Also my favorite though.)

Maynards design had me frothing at the mouth, I’m just gonna say that straight up. He didn’t even do nothin outwardly he just kind of went along, which- yeah I guess let your creepy younger brother tourture that poor twink. He really does give off the vibe of a man disconnected, Medics whole bit about strangling him was out of left field but necessity. That scene in particular made me feral.

It showed us what I imagine to be an anomaly in the loop correcting itself, but therefore making the entity more aggressive, the entity in question Fritz. That whole scenes cinematography is brilliant.

Now I get on to my absolute favorite character ever.

Fucking soldier.

Never thought that someone could do such a damn good job emulating Rick may but FUCK did they. The lower, and more stark tone to the character made his wacky lines way funnier: it shows someone who seems incompetent being truly skilled at what they do. Surviving. While his methods are ridiculous it’s his leaps of faith that save him.

With bat out of fucking hell sniper he showed that he doesn’t like to give mercy. He shows a side that would make him antagonistic. But throughout the whole film he shows nothing aside from compassion, even towards the people he barley knows. That elevator scene says it all to me. He has reason to be suspicious but through that he chooses to be kind. It sunk my heart seeing the warfeild scene, it was quiet in a way. It was bleak and chaotic but he seemed perfectly fine to be there for just a moment.

Jane lost… a lot. In this film. He lost his coworker to the pits of an evil fucking loop. He lost a friend in Demo when Demo froze. (That scene broke me btw.) He lost dignity and connection and hope. And afterwards he looked so… dead? He won.

He escaped but what was the cost in the end? The loop continued on. His blank stare shared with medic and the attempt to blow him and the venue itself up over spies inaccurate details really shows his need for the truth. This film helped me out a lot with characterizing Solly in the future he’s honestly a darling.

On the topic of the loop and the way they constructed it holy shit. Those beginning shots were so so affective at building the atmosphere. I thought it’d be found footage till the end but NO, it just set up the mood and shit RAGGH

[danurso]

That's pretty D.U.M.B

Part 0 - Part 1 - Part 2

After the explosion occurred, the room was filled with a light blue mist.

Ruby: *cough* *cough* what was that!?

Yang: i can't see anything! Can someone open *cough* *cough* the window!? 

Pyrrha: found it! *open window allowing the smoke to leave the classroom.

Jaune: what the hell was that?

Oobleck: no idea mr.arc *looking around the room, which is still intact, just filled with smoke* but apparently the explosion didn't damaged anything.

Weiss: *gets up, massaging her head* oww, tell that to my head. I said this was stupid, and apparently it didn't give any results.

Jaune: what the hell are you already whining about princess?

RWBY/Pyrrha: *freezes*

Ruby: jaune?

Jaune: *leaving the smoke, with a different armor on and a scar on his left eye* what do you want now reddish? I'm not in the mood to- *freezes and looks at weiss, walking her way and holding her face*

Weiss: *blushes* w-what are you-

Jaune: *with a shocked expression* what happened to your eye? What is this scar?

Weiss: *breaks free* what? Shouldn't we be asking you this? besides, don't ever touch me without my permission again!

Jaune: *confused* . . .what bite your rich ass today princess? *looks back at oobleck with a scowl* was it you with your crazy inventions again?

Oobleck: *confused* mr.arc? Is this really you?

Jaune: and who else could i be? Did you broke your glasses or all that coffee finally fucked up your brain?

Ruby: jaune. . .what happened to you?

Jaune: the hell are you talking about reddi-

Jaune: *normal jaune, leaving the smoke massaging his head* oww, was that thing supposed to throw me away like that?

Weiss: *leaving the smoke too, this weiss however doesn't have a scar and her ponytail isn't to the side like usual* *whining* oww, my head hurts.

RWBY/Pyrrha: *speechless*

Oobleck: IT WORKED!!!

Jaune: what work- *stops, staring at the other version of himself and to weiss before looking at the weiss on his side* w-wait, what? Why is there other me here!?

Alternative Weiss: *looking between the jaunes* *gasp* jaune! There's two of you!

(A)Jaune: *with crossed arms* don't tell me princess, i'm not fucking blind.

(A)Weiss: *taking a closer look at jaune, with a large smile and stars in her eyes* he's just like you! Just scraggly and without the scar!

(A)Jaune: i can see that.

(A)Weiss: *bolts to her normal version* look! This me has a scar just like yours! I look kinda cool with it.

(A)Jaune: two princesses, this probably the worst day of my life.

(A)Weiss: or the best one, imagine having two me's around.

(A)Jaune: *deadpans* it would be twice as annoying.

(A)Weiss: yeah, but you would get twice the affection. *gives him a sweet smile*

(A)Jaune: . . . *looks away with a pink on his cheeks* shut up, will you?

(A)Weiss: *grinning happily*

Yang: . . .okay, that's kinda disturbing. Why is that ice queen so nice and that vomit boy so mean?

Oobleck: it's simple miss xiao long, these versions of mister arc and miss schnee are from a world different from ours, and if you think about the infinite possibilities of the multiverse, there are probably many other versions of them besides those.

Jaune: w-wait, so he's me from another universe?

Oobleck: Precisely! The D.U.M.B worked perfectly! And thanks to it we can meet these alternative versions of you two.

(A)Jaune: what the hell are you talking about? And what is going on?

Oobleck: *ahem* i'm sorry for disturbing you two with this experiment, but this place is a dimension different from your original one.

(A)Jaune: . . .*raises eyebrow* did someone put vodka on your coffee or have you always been crazy like that?

Oobleck: i can assure you mister arc that i'm very sober and sane. *points at D.U.M.B* you see this device here? It's a dimensional and universal magical bridge, but you can call it D.U.M.B to shorten.

(A)Weiss: *snort* dumb.

(A)Jaune: *rolls his eyes* it had to be.

Oobleck: this is the device that allowed us to bring you two to our universe.

(A)Jaune: so let me get this straight, you used this weird machine to bring us here, a world different from ours.

(A)Weiss: that's so cool! it's just like that show rick and morty!

Weiss: what?

(A)Weiss: you don't have rick and morty here?

Ruby: we do! And it's such a cool show!

(A)Weiss: i know! It's one of my favorites!

(A)Weiss/Ruby: *start blabbering*

Weiss: this is. . .very disturbing.

Yang: i don't know, i kinda like nice weiss, she's just like you but probably doesn't have a log stuck up on her ass.

Weiss: who are you calling stuck up you idiot!?

(A)Jaune: i don't know which one is worse, the one who keeps shrieking all the time or the one who has way too much energy. *sighs, looking back to oobleck* when are we going back to our world?

Oobleck: you'll be back in a few moments mr. Arc, D.U.M.B has a time limit of half an hour. Meanwhile, i just wanted to know if you and ms.schnee could answer a few questions before going back to your world?

(A)Jaune: not interested.

(A)Weiss: sure thing!

Oobleck: Stupendous! So, i wanted to know if there's a glaring difference from your world compared to this one?

(A)Weiss: *looking around* hmm. . .no, everything looks the same.

Oobleck: *writing on a notebook* i see.

(A)Weiss: *looks to the group and raises an eyebrow* why is blake wearing a bow though?

Blake: *flinches and starts sweating*

Yang: she always wears that bow, even to sleep. Why? Your blake doesn't use a bow?

(A)Weiss: wait, so they don't know about. . .

Blake: *shakes head*

(A)Weiss: o-oh, *sheepishly* sorry.

Yang: wait, do you know something we don't?

(A)Weiss: err. . .no, nothing! Blake will tell everyone when she's ready.

Yang: what is she hiding? *looks at blake* now i'm curious.

Blake: n-nothing.

(A)Weiss: blake is really quiet here.

(A)Jaune: she's always been quiet.

(A)Weiss: i know, she just looks more quiet then our blake.

Ruby: so your blake is different too?

(A)Weiss: not really, she's just a bit more. . . 'Open' about herself. Everyone looks the same aside from her, well, except me and jaune of course.

Ruby: but why are you two so different? Why are you so nice compared to our weiss?

Weiss: hey! I am nice!

Yang: *cough, cough* like a punch in the gut *cough, cough*

(A)Weiss: well. . .i don't really know, i just try to be myself, that's what my dad always told me.

Weiss: wait, your dad told you to be yourself?

(A)Weiss: *smiling* yup!

Weiss: and not to be something you don't want to be?

(A)Weiss: what? No! daddy would never do that, he hates people who control their children for their own benefit.

Weiss: *shocked* . . .is your father really jacques schnee?

(A)Weiss: that's his name.

Weiss: . . .can you tell me more about your- our family?

(A)Weiss: sure! My mom is always helping my dad with his business at the emprise, my older sister winter is one of the biggest designers of atlas, my little brother whitley is studying most of the time to be a good business man like dad but he always takes some time to have fun with us, and even helps me by playing piano in my concerts, and dad is the head of the SDC, the biggest and most controversial emprise in remnant.

Weiss: controversial?

(A)Weiss: unfortunately, yes. People in atlas are selfish and try to maintain a certain 'status-quo', humans rule and faunus suffer, but my dad's emprise treats everyone the same and helps faunus that suffer to rise and have a good life, but unfortunately for us, the rest of atlas doesn't share his vision and treats him and my family terribly, this lack of respect with my family's name is one of the main reasons why i decided to be a huntress.

Blake: *eyes wide* w-wait, so in your world, jacques schnee isn't a racist?

(A)Weiss: what!? No! My father dreams with the peace between humans and faunus, he even made an alliance with the leader of the white fang, ghira bell- i mean, with their leader ghira to help them on their movement for equality, my father is their biggest supporter. Why are you asking that? Isn't dad like this here?

Weiss: no, our dad here unfortunately isn't so noble. He only cares for profits and hates faunus, probably just as much as he hates his family.

(A)Weiss: wait, what?

Weiss: he forced me to do everything he wanted ever since i was young, even used my voice to profit. My mom is a drunkard who never leaves her room, whitley is dad's puppet and is becoming just as rotten as he is and winter is a specialist at atlas military.

(A)Weiss: w-what!? dad can't be bad like that, i-it doesn't make sense.

Weiss: he is, i guess that's why you and me are so different, you had an way easier life.

(A)Weiss: wow, this sounds so sad. . .wait, does that means your version of jaune had an easier life too?

Everyone: *looks at jaune*

Jaune: err. . .yeah, i mean, my life was pretty easy if you don't count the annoying sisters and how my parents didn't wanted me to be a huntsman.

(A)Jaune: *raises eyebrow* your parents didn't wanted you to be a huntsman?

Jaune: not really, i tried to convince dad to train me when i was younger but he never let me, so i just had a normal life until my seventeen years.

(A)Jaune: lucky you, looks like you at least had a happy life.

Jaune: so. . .what happened in my life that made my like this?

(A)Jaune: i don't wanna talk about it.

Jaune: but-

(A)Jaune: *glaring at him* no buts, just zip it.

Jaune: *terrified* o-okay.

(A)Jaune: . . . *looks to the side* what do you want?

(A)Weiss: *holding his hand* come on, tell him.

(A)Jaune: i don't want to.

(A)Weiss: come on, pleeease.

(A)Jaune: i said no already.

(A)Weiss: *hugs his arm* pleeease. . .for me? *gives him a puppy look*

(A)Jaune:  . . . *sigh* i fucking hate you princess.

(A)Weiss: *with a victorious smile* no, you love me.

(A)Jaune: keep dreaming. well. . .where do i start, my mom died when i was five because of a disease and since then my asshole sperm-donor raised me, he trained me to be a champion and forced me into several tournaments to make me stronger, he locked me away from my sisters so i wouldn't have any distractions during my training, said training that pushed me to my absolute agonizing limits. When i was fourteen i had enough and fought him off, but he defeated me and gave me this scar as a reminder of how weak i am compared to him, then when i turned seventeen i joined beacon where i became partners with an annoying ball of unlimited joy.

(A)Weiss: that's me!

Yang: wow. . .that's really dark.

Jaune: is dad really that bad in your world? He was always so soft with everyone that is kind of hard imagining him like that.

(A)Jaune: take a wild guess dumbass. *points at the scar in his eye* what kind of good father would do this to his kid?

Jaune: yeah. . .guess you got a point.

Pyrrha: wait, did you say that weiss was your partner at beacon?

(A)Jaune: unfortunately, yes. This idiot who never even trained before and didn't even had aura had the great idea to buy some transcripts and join beacon, i didn't wanted her as my partner but since she was aimlessly flying into her death during initiation, i had to save her ass and become her partner.

Weiss: . . .by any chance, am i retarded on your dimension?

(A)Weiss: HEY!

(A)Jaune: probably. What kind of sane person would be stupid enough to do that?

Pyrrha: this story sounds. . .very familiar.

Jaune: *sheepishly* i-it does.

(A)Jaune: who did i got partnered with here?

Jaune: pyrrha.

(A)Jaune: lucky you, different from princess here, pyrrha knows her limits.

(A)Weiss: you talk like me being your partner is the worst thing in the world.

(A)Jaune: because it is. you're reckless, annoying, stupid, ignorant, selfish, suicidal and-

(A)Weiss: and you still love me regardless.

(A)Jaune: . . . *looks away* i don't know what you're talking about.

(A)Weiss: yes you do, im talking about this. *tiptoes and kisses his cheek*

(A)Jaune: *recoils and blushes* what the hell are you doing!?

(A)Weiss: i'm giving you a kiss. Why? you wanted it to be on the lips?

(A)Jaune: like hell i would want that, princess.

(A)Weiss: hmm. . .

(A)Jaune: what are you doing?

(A)Weiss: *tiptoeing, reaching out her lips for him* waiting for you to kiss me.

(A)Jaune: i don't want to kiss you.

(A)Weiss: hmm. . .

(A)Jaune: stop it already dumbass, you're just embarrassing yourself.

(A)Weiss: hmm. . .

(A)Jaune: *looks back to her*

(A)Weiss: *still waiting for him*

(A)Jaune: *pink* . . .i fucking hate you. *leans down and kisses her.*

(A)Weiss: *returning the kiss*

(A)Jaune: *wraps hands on her waist and pulls her closer*

(A)Weiss: *deepening the kiss*

Yang: well. . .that's a scene i never thought i would see.

Ruby/Blake: *nods*

Pyrrha: *nods as well but with an way more forced and scary smile*

Jaune: *blushing*

Weiss: *red and mortified* w-what are you two doing!?

(A)Weiss: *giggles* sorry, sometimes we get lost in the mood.

(A)Jaune: 'we'? You're the one always dragging me into this stuff.

(A)Weiss: i'm not the one who drags you away after a hard day just so we can make out on a empty classroom.

(A)Jaune: *red* can't you just stay shut for five seconds princess!?

(A)Weiss: *smiling brightly* nope.

Yang: wait, wait, wait, are you two like, dating?

(A)Jaune/(A)Weiss: no/yes.

Weiss: h-how is that possible!? What do you even see on this idiot!?

(A)Jaune: *glaring at her* i made my mind, you're the one i hate the most.

(A)Weiss: what's there not to see on him? I mean, yeah, he is always being mean to other peoples but thats cause he had a rough life, the real jaune buried under all that anger is really kind and sweet. He was the first person that believed that i could be a huntress, he teached me how to fight and picked me up whenever i thought about giving up. *hugs his arm* he was the first guy that loved me for who i am and that's why i love him so much. *looks at him* Right?

(A)Jaune: *looks away, face totally red* speak for yourself, i don't know what you're talking about.

Weiss: i can't believe you. . .how did that even happened!?

(A)Weiss: you mean how we got together? Well it was during the ball at beacon, neptune invited me to go but i refused.

Weiss: YOU WHAT!?

(A)Weiss: i refused. *pink* i was hoping that a certain someone would invite me.

(A)Jaune: hmph.

(A)Weiss: but well, things didn't went like i wanted and i went to the ball alone. I stayed there for some time but gave up and went to the rooftop to take a breather, that's where i found jaune.

(A)Jaune: yeah, i was enjoying the peace and the silence until you showed up.

(A)Weiss: *chuckles* He was being grumpy because he heard neptune inviting me and thought i had accepted.

(A)Jaune: i wasn't being grumpy because he invited you, i just hate that guy's guts.

(A)Weiss: we cleared some things up and i invited him to dance a bit, we danced on our own for some time and talked a bit, he complimented me for the first time ever since i met him and even admitted that i was someone important in his life *with a wide smile and rosy cheeks* i was so happy that i gave him my first kiss without even thinking about it.

Yang: aww, that's so cute.

(A)Jaune/Weiss: *red* SHUT IT!

Weiss: that's enough, we don't wanna hear anything else about this!

Yang: speak for yourself ice queen, keep going nice queen!

(A)Weiss: well. . .i was a bit scared at first but when he kissed me back i got a lot calmer,  we kept kissing for some time and things got. . .a bit out of control.

Blake: *very interested* what do you mean with 'out of control?'

(A)Weiss: *red* err. . .well, w-we got a bit carried away and kept kissing until we were back to our room, and when we got there we did. . .*ten times redder* couple stuff.

Weiss: wait, so you just went and slept with him like that!?

(A)Weiss: yeah. *sheepishly* i know someone's first time should be something we think about carefully, but on that day all i could think of was how happy i was that jaune was my first. *hugs his arm* and until this day, i never once regretted that decision. *smiles at him*

(A)Jaune: *red* t-that's enough! *turns to oobleck* how the hell do we go back to our world!?

Oobleck: all you need to do is place your hands on the D.U.M.B or wait for the thirty minute mark. But before you leave, i still have some que-

(A)Jaune: fuck your questions, we're leaving princess.

(A)Weiss: sure. Just give me a moment. *goes to weiss* can i talk to you for a second?

Weiss: what do you want to talk about!?

(A)Weiss: wait. *holds her and drags her to the farthest corner, away from the group*

Weiss: what do you want?

(A)Weiss: i just needed to know, are you and jaune dating?

Weiss: W-what!? No! And we never will!

(A)Weiss: i see, i think i understand now.

Weiss: good thing that you understand, now please leave.

(A)Weiss: you like him.

Weiss: *blushes* i don't like him! I hate him!

(A)Weiss: *chuckles* you're just like jaune when i first met him. He was closed, distant and very cold with everyone, and he said he hated me all the time, but that was just him trying to keep his guard up, trying to protect his damaged heart from even more damage.

Weiss: what are you talking about?

(A)Weiss: what i'm talking is that just like my jaune, you're putting up barriers and keeping people away to avoid getting hurt, but maybe you don't need these barriers to be up all the time, maybe all you need is to let in someone who can help you heal.

Weiss: let me guess, someone like arc.

(A)Weiss: maybe. I'm dating jaune for awhile now and despite he still being much like his older self, i can't see myself being more happy with anyone else that isn't him. I know i might be biased but seeing that the only difference between us is that our roles were inverted, i think you wouldn't regret being with someone like jaune. Just think about it, didn't you ever noticed anything that jaune may have done just to see you happy?

Weiss: well. . . *gets a small flashback about the ball and neptune telling her everything jaune said*

(A)Weiss: sooo?

Weiss: i-i don't know, nothing comes to my mind. And look, i don't care what your reasoning is, i am not going to date arc.

(A)Weiss: well, i can't force you to do anything really, but if you can, just give him a chance *with a sincere smile* i know you won't regret.

Weiss: *sighs, rubbing her temples* if i tell you i'll think about it, will you go away?

(A)Weiss: sure thing!

Weiss: then i'll think about it, just please leave me alone.

(A)Weiss: okay, see'ya then me! *goes back to the group, joining jaune and hugging his chest* missed me?

(A)Jaune: no.

(A)Weiss: i missed you too my archangel.

(A)Jaune: *pink* didn't i told you to stop using this stupid nickname?

(A)Weiss: *chuckles* oops, sorry.

(A)Jaune: *sigh* let's just leave for god's sake. *places hand on the D.U.M.B*

(A)Weiss: *also places her hand on the D.U.M.B*

They both slowly start to get surrounded by a light blue aura, just like when jaune and weiss first used it.

(A)Weiss: bye everyone, It was really nice to meet you.

Yang: same, it was really good to see how weiss would be if she wasn't always on her period.

Weiss: YANG!!!

(A)Weiss: and weiss!

Weiss: *looks back at her* what?

(A)Weiss: just one chance, i promise you won't regret.

Weiss: i already said i'll think about it, i'm not going to make any promises.

(A)Weiss: that's already good enough, bye me!

Weiss: goodbye.

(A)Jaune/(A)Weiss: *vanishes*

Blake: well. . .that was something.

Jaune: i-it really was.

Ruby: weiss?

Weiss: yes?

Ruby: what did you and the other you talked about?

Weiss: well. . . *glances at jaune for a moment before looking away slightly* i-it was nothing okay? just something stupid.

Ruby: oh, okay.

Pyrrha: so, what do we do now professor?

Oobleck: we continue with the experiment of course! Meeting these alternative versions of mr.arc and ms.schnee was interesting but there are a lot of questions that need answers!

Weiss: i-i'm not going to use that machine again!

Oobleck: you wouldn't be able to use it even if you wanted ms.schnee. The D.U.M.B can't be used by the same person twice in a row, that rule goes for everyone except mr.arc of course!

Jaune: okay, but why does this machine needs me so much to work? You said i'm some kind of axis but why-

Oobleck: I DON'T KNOW AND AT THE MOMENT I DON'T CARE MR.ARC!!! RIGHT NOW THERE'S ONLY ONE QUESTION YOU SHOULD BE ASKING!!!

Jaune: a-and it is?

Oobleck: *grins and looks at the girls* which one of you is going next!?

[thejudgingtrash]

Now hold up I would personally love to hear a full rant on this supposed adaptation I have never heard of until now. Like, legitimately, I wanna know what you have to say about this cause you seem to be one of the most valid PJO blogs

Uhhh what??? Me one of the most valid PJO blogs??? What kinda crack have you been smoking WHAT afahsgjskdh.

But still thank you 😊🥺🙈

Alright, you wanted a rant. You got a rant. Fuck the positives let’s just straight up jump into my aggression.

WARNING: Massive rant with a lot of swear words. If you can’t handle the heat, feel free to ignore this. I personally haven’t worked in Hollyweird, but I had some behind the scenes stuff here in Europe going on for a short period and also the trusty words of my college professors. So here will be a lot of prediction and speculation involved. Yes, I know that I’m a huge hypocrite for voicing my opinions based on stuff that hasn’t been pushed through in months and that I could be easily proven wrong in a few weeks/months. Still thank you should you actually take the time to read through this tomfuckery.

If things are wrong, please DO correct me!

Links to further reads will be included partially.

TL;DR: Keep your hopes to a low, stop harassing people online and mAnAgE yOuR eXpEcTaTiOnS!!111!!

Okay. First things first:

DISNEY

DOESN’T

GIVE

A

SINGLE

FUCK

ABOUT

YOU

Disney is a fucking multi-billion dollar corporation with many, many, many studios, stations, brands and franchises worldwide. The Percy Jackson franchise is a dime in a dozen. Disney doesn’t give a single fuck about the PJO fandom in general.

Disney doesn’t give a fuck about you 20-something year old with your 9 year old blog discussing which toilet paper brand Percy uses. And Disney also doesn’t give a fuck about you 16 year old, writing the worst fucking Solangelo fanfic I’ve read so far on this hellsite. Like goddamn.

Trust me, they know you are interested. They know they got you hooked. They see the numbers, they see the like/reblog ratio, they see the Twitter engagement. They see you with #disneyadaptpercyjackson. They see the petitions, they see how excited you were for the musical. You don’t get to be a gigantic conglomerate like Disney with playing stupid.

Also to you fuckfarts saying oH nO I wOn’T wAtCh It I dOn’T cArE aBoUt NeW sTuFf. Congrats dipshit. You are STILL alerting followers and people about what’s happening and creating more buzz, giving more awareness and adding to the transaction costs. You really cheated the system, you little edgelord. Again:

You are nothing but a number. You are a fucking walking dollar bill. You are a consumer waiting for a new shiny product to fill the void in your life for 45 minutes weekly or by two hours at some point.

The PJO movies 1. & 2 happened for a reason. Because Fox saw a popular book series á la Harry Potter, Twilight (and The Hunger Games) and wanted a piece of that action. They wanted your fucking money. Them entirely fucking up and ignoring Riordan’s advice is on them of course. But still. The movies happened. (And also saw people saying they were flops. Reception wise: hell yes. They are awful adaptations (not per se awful movies, there’s a difference). But money wise?? They made together over 245 million dollars in profit. Of course, that isn’t today’s Marvel level but it’s still fairly decent. Also don’t forget that the second movie still got greenlit. Interest was still there despite part one. You disliking something doesn’t turn it into a flop)).

Again, Disney doesn’t care about you. THIS is what Disney cares about:

1. MONEY

2. PROFIT

3. ENGAGEMENT

4. TOTAL GROSS

5. CONVERSION RATES

11. …. “Artistry“

So in terms of money, we gotta speak about the on-going woke culture. You know, lgbtqia+ stuff, poc representation and all the good shit we want and need in our life, right?

Well, I got bad news for ya. Disney being money hungry has its massive downsides. Because where is the money? In the east. Well and what happens if we include the woke stuff? Possible censorships (even retroactively! You know Gravity Falls went through that), bans, etc.

So all of you talking about representation and artistic vision and being bold and brave and blablabla… Throw that into the fucking trash. We can probably be glad if we get Grover back as the token black kid and a few other minorities sprinkled here and there. Open gay Nico? Doubt it. Your afro-latino Percy head canon? Definitely keep that but unlikely to be realized. And also, if you think that Annabeth wouldn’t get turned into the blandest whitest “I dOn’T nEeD nO mAn“ radfem, I got some bad news for ya…

The likelihood of everything being dumbed down, toned down with the exception of a few adult jokes or being even partially censored (depending on certain regions) is very, very high.

Also what makes you think we’re even getting close to the Heroes of Olympus and Trials of Apollo saga? I doubt you will see The Seven for a long time unless Riordan really says fuck it and throws his final ace card into Disney’s filthy greedy mouth.

So if Disney doesn’t have the fandom’s interest at heart, what are they interested in? Well… MONEY. Also NEW engagement. They know your funky ass is going to tune in. They know people will pirate the shit (Me waving like a maniac), they all KNOW that. Again, they aren’t stupid.

So: MORE engagement. MORE money. How do we get even more engagement? By luring new people into the fandom. Who is most likely going to get lured into a family friendly show/movie series because let’s not forget that we’re talking about Disney+? The targeted audience of the books. Who is the targeted audience of the books? MIDDLE SCHOOLERS. 11 to 14 year olds. Disney wants those kids’ (well their parents’ hard earned) money. They want to sell products, in that case books + Disney Plus subscriptions + possible merch. There you also have the likely future rating for the fucking show. Sorry to disappoint everyone that was hoping for gritty Game of Thrones filled with 12 year olds (like seriously wtf?).

Now that that’s settled, let’s talk about the outlook on the show/movie and Riordan’s influence that you people clearly overestimate.

How much power or say does Rick Riordan actually have?

ZERO. ABSOLUTELY NONE.

He’s in the worst fucking lose-lose-situation you could imagine.

Disney owns the books and Fox owns the movie rights. Wait. Fox got bought. By whom you ask? DISNEY, what a coincidence! In Rick Riordan’s own words:

Disney has him by his fucking balls and could crush them at any minute. And if you think, that Disney is letting go of that sweet sweet intellectual property you are fucking mistaken. Riordan isn’t a J.K. Rowling who OWNS the Wizarding World. You have no idea what Disney are capable of with massive lobbying that goes so far to influence copyright laws in the States (LINK)

So you can stop harassing him about a fucking Netflix adaptation as well! Or petitions that do nothing but annoy people.

These negotiations take up YEARS to get the simplest stuff done. No need to shit your pants whenever Riordan’s tweeting stuff.

Still: would Disney be fucking mad to do this without him? Absolutely!

Should Disney involve him to prevent a PJO movie 2.0 scenario?

Yes, they definitely should!

But CAN Disney do this without him?

OF COURSE THEY CAN! THEY OWN EVERYTHING.

In Riordan’s own words:

Read carefully what he has written. He doesn’t say he’s going to halter productions, he’s saying HE WON’T BE A PART OF IT. This also makes me curious about WHO approached WHO in the first place (my guess Disney tried to make some amendments because Fox ain’t shit and trying to alienate the author again would be a goddamn stupid move). Disney has the fucking film rights. Of course they can pump out shit without involving him. They could pull a Fantastic Four (the awful 2015 version) just to keep the rights and for the fuck of it.

There are the following possibilities with Riordan’s involvement:

1. Riordan as a producer: Dude’s gotta be loaded. We know that. But backing the production costs many, many, many millions and I don’t know if he’s THAT loaded. Also film producing isn’t his forte.

2. Riordan as a screenplay writer: Now we’re getting closer to something. Yes, many productions these days have authors directly involved which is great! But also can go the other way around (J.K. Rowling and her Grindelwald fiasco. Author’s do NEED to learn when to stop intermeddling with their franchises, just saying) Book writing and screenplay writing are two very DIFFERENT disciplines. You don’t have the liberties of book writing when it comes to film. The screenplay is the guide for the entire production, the visuals, the set design, the whole atmosphere of the product, the very first thing that needs to be done so that directors, designers and lastly the casted actors know what they have to do. Everything has to come to a point in a very short time and there are many, many, many versions of a screenplay before a final raw draft gets handed out. If that isn’t in Riordan’s interest (which I can completely understand) then that’s simply not happening

3. Riordan as a guide: Directors, screenplay writers, etc. sit down with Riordan on a regular basis to show him the written screenplay, which actors they have in mind, the whole vision and he has a mini veto right.

If you ask me, a mix of scenario 2 and 3 is the most likely to be the most successful. That means, that Riordan needs to have a good faithful team, that sticks closely to the source material. That isn’t guaranteed! Again: look at the PJO movies. But of course, we don’t know the internals of these meetings.

So… now the final part. The whole fucking “Animation vs. Live action“ debate. Well, both sides have their pro’s and con’s. And both sides are filled with a bunch of fucking morons. I won’t try to get you to either side.

But to those that want are begging for a live action version with age-appropriate actors I have the following to say:

FUCK

YOU

IN

PARTICULAR!

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU WANT CHILDREN TO GO THROUGH THE HELL THAT IS DISNEY AND THE SHADY SHIT GOING ON THERE SO THAT YOU CAN BE ENTERTAINED FOR SOME MERE MINUTES?!

Oh my god…. You people REALLY really want a fourth wave Me Too movement in 15-20 years. Not every Hollyweird kid has a helicopter parent hovering around them on set and many do get abused/robbed by their parents. And the people involved in the production! Of course, animation has still a chance of this happening but the risk is somewhat lower when it just comes to voice acting.

Tbh, I actually wouldn’t mind an aged-up cast again just to prevent this as best as possible. Unfortunately, child actors will always be needed.

I have nothing much to add to this, I’ll just drop a link to an old small post from me about that right here (LINK)

Personally I lean more towards animation but in the big picture I won’t care. (Also the whole animation is for kids and dumbs down the whole narrative for PJO is fucking stupid, boo boo the fool. You being in your late teens/twenties and grown out of the targeted audience is the cause of nature. Animation can be mature or would you show Attack on Titan or South Park to your 8 year old cousin?)

I’ll be just tuning in to see if this is as messy as I’d expect it to be or to be pleasantly surprised.

Also again: this process is a long one. It’s going to be exhausting, depressing, demanding, pushing.

From the meetings now that will take a very long time, to a screenplay, which can take YEARS in finalizing, to hiring staff, location hunting and set design (should they go the live action route), to casting, to costume design, to rehearsing/production, to filming, to dispersing, to editing, to fx, to finishing, to marketing, to publishing, NOTHING IS SET IN STONE! This is a very, very, very, wanky process despite contracts and everything on paper. Let’s not forget, Disney can afford some good lawyers.

And even if everything goes as smoothly as possible. Higher up people could see the final edit of everything with editors having scenes close to the books in an a/b/c/d cut and some producer says NO! I want an c/a/b/d version that again fucks up the dynamics of the books. Or something terrible: everything is shot and done and THEN it get’s postponed. Or even fucking worse: SHELVED to be NEVER RELEASED. Aka Henry Selick’s career after Coraline (Coraline from 2009 is STILL his latest release because of his fucked up Disney contract and them cancelling his shit). Millions of dollars wasted and we won’t get to see ANYTHING. This is all very possible and happens constantly in the film business AND at Disney. This is nothing new.

And there’s nothing we can do about it. No one cares about Riordan, no one cares about the books, no one cares about the fandom.

DISNEY holds the cards. DISNEY gets to decide. Neither Riordan, nor you nor me hold ANY power in this.

So kids… what have we learned today? In conclusion:

Keep your hopes to a low, stop harassing people online and mAnAgE yOuR eXpEcTaTiOnS!!111!!

That’s it. That’s all I wanted to say.

WHEW.

[the-awful-falafel]

Rick and Morty - S4E6 "Never Ricking Morty" Podcast Summary/Breakdown

So y'all probably expected this based on how often I've been talking about these official companion podcasts. I recommend listening to them yourself either on the official Adult Swim YT channel or the official website, but I thought I'd go ahead and make bullet point breakdown of some key points for this particular podcast, because trivia and behind-the-scenes knowledge really appeal to me. And this episode is pretty divisive in the fanbase, so I think this podcast will assuage some fears even if you still personally dislike it in the end.

For some reason, the title of the podcast calls this S4E7 instead of episode 6. It wasn’t commented upon, so I assume either it was a typo or it was 7 in the production order and got swapped shortly before release.

The interviewed staff involved in this episode were Carlos Ortega (character design lead), Erica Hayes (director), James McDermott (art director), and Jeff Loveness (writer)

The idea of this episode was conceived in October/November 2018 as a "one-up" of anthologies and clip shows. They didn't want to do a straight anthology because many other TV shows had already done that, so they tried to go more experimental and bold and basically went balls-deep with the metanarrative as a result

It was a substitute for Interdimensional Cable (which they were going to do instead but it fell through for unknown reasons)

"We had to go so far up our own ass, because if we didn't go far enough, people would be mad that we didn't."

The writers intentionally mocked themselves as much as the fans, pretty much, and it was meant to be all in good fun

The artists really enjoy designing all the weird aliens in the show, as well as getting to reuse/repurpose them when applicable. Apparently next episode (Promortyus) is going to be reusing a lot of designs for something (but they obviously can't say due to spoilers)

Compared to other episodes, "Never Ricking Morty" went pretty smoothly once it got to the art stage. That doesn't mean it was easy, but there weren't a ton of revisions they had to do

There was a joking spoiler about Rick becoming pregnant later this season. At least I think it's joking.

While writing this episode, the writers came up with a huge whiteboard list of complaints about the show, misconceptions about the show, etc. to consult for the meta jokes. Loveness later clarified that it wasn't quite about attacking "complaining" though, and it wasn't meant to be mean-spirited

The Bechdel test skit came from them realizing they hadn't done much with Beth and Summer this season, which definitely can be considered a flaw. Therefore, as part of their self-mockery, the writers decided to force them crudely into the episode as a joke, while also making fun of men who write women characters poorly and reductively.

The Jesus Christ / Rick suddenly being Christian part was written in response to the writers asking themselves "what would kill Rick and Morty as a show?"

Jeff Loveness said this in the "Inside Never Ricking Morty" video as well, but he really loved the "old man is really ripped and ready to kick your ass" trope and is partially responsible for it becoming a running gag this episode along with "cum gutters". Apparently cum gutters return in season 5 (also said jokingly, so who knows)

One of the Q&A callers called multiple times, with different phone numbers, and kept asking about potential crossovers for some reason

"A lot of people are saying that the show is fucking with their fans. Is that accurate?" "I think some of those fans deserve to be fucked with a little bit."

They point out how some fans feel entitled to the idea they should be pleased by the show all the time, and the writers feel like the show should ideally surprise the viewers in a good way, but you still may not like every episode and that's alright

At the same time, the episode wasn't meant as an attack on the fans, it was more of a "we'll do this our way, be experimental, and push the envelope of what we can do" message they were sending. Jeff Loveness promises that there's "good stuff coming up" that he thinks the fans will be happy with, presumably in late Season 4 or even Season 5

"Just because we showed it this way and you'll probably never see it this way again, that doesn't mean we're dropping these storylines completely." There you go, everyone! The ongoing story threads are still happening at some point, and the message of the episode wasn't about dropping continuity or mocking people for caring about it. Although if you were hoping for resolutions similar to what was shown in this episode (Evil Morty w/ a giant army, Tammy VS Summer with lightsabers), those scenarios are almost certainly not going to happen canonically based on this statement. Let's hope that what they do come up with is both unexpected and awesome.

The episode is intended to be non-canonical, similar to past once-a-season clip show episodes like Interdimensional Cable

Story Lord was inspired by characters like Mysterio and Q, and the writers created him late in development as a type of villain they hadn't done before. Dan Harmon also put a lot of self-mockery into the character with how much he loved narrative structure and the story circle. The character artists even initially asked if Harmon could be the design for the character but that received an immediate "no", as it was perceived as being too on-the-nose.

Jeff Loveness was surprised the Rick/Birdperson musical made it to the final episode since it seemed like the sort of thing that would be cut or lost in development. He was also surprised the Jesus thing stayed in mostly untouched

The Story Train was intended to be an actually purchasable product by the time the episode aired-- the writers were emphatically excited about that being the culmination of the joke in the writers room-- and they were surprised that it didn't go through by the time the episode aired. They guess it's due to the coronavirus pandemic interrupting merchandising plans, but they're ultimately unsure because the decision isn't discussed with them

The artists do receive some limitations on how much gore they're allowed to depict, but they can show as much blood as they want, so for the most part they can still be creative with gruesome violence (like the Tickets Please guy ripping in half in this episode)

The artists are credited for elevating most of the fight scenes in the show, sometimes with only vague script direction which they use to be very creative

In response to a viewer calling in and asking the question about whether Pickle Rick will return: "I think there's a conversation to be had about: do we want these things to return or it better to do a one-off story?" So my take on this is that not literally everything will factor into the continuity-- they put thought into what ideas have more long-running potential and they build those up. Which is kind of obvious but the question was silly anyway. (They're still ambiguous about whether or not Pickle Rick will come back, by the way)

They aren't going to do an outright Star Wars parody in Rick and Morty because other shows have already done that, but they can still parody what Star Wars represents rather than doing a "branded commercial" for it. Apparently there is a lot of that specifically coming up this season (although indirect in the way they're describing). I assume this is referring to the upcoming "Star Mort Rickturn of the Jerri" episode, so I’m curious about how they’ll reference Star Wars in that one.

The COVID-19 reference this episode was thrown in last minute, presumably with just alternative dubbing and changing the lip sync animation. They say that sometimes episodes are still being worked on up until the moment they release on television. Referring to a previous episode as an example, the character of Shadowjacker from the dragon episode was thrown in last-minute

With the exception of James McDermott, most of the staff interviewed had no control or participation over the commercial product placement work, such as the Wendy's/Pringles commercials. They don't mind them for the most part and find them funny

The writers try to avoid being too topical because the scripts take so long to turn into animation that any references will become outdated by the time it releases. Therefore, they try to be "timely" in the sense that they're writing about things that are happening in the world, but in a more abstract/thematic sense. Jeff Loveness implies that the next episode Promortyus will have a lot of that

In response to another viewer Q&A: There is no Rick and Morty movie currently planned. They wouldn't mind one, but nothing is really in development at the moment

The staff say they're excited for the next batch of episodes and seem pretty proud of their work on this season

They don't plan on making a Rick and Morty musical episode at the moment, as they feel like other shows like South Park and the Simpson have done it excellently and don't feel like they're capable of doing it better. The Rick/Birdperson bit in this episode was the most we're going to get

The code inside the broken-off throttle lever was intended to just be a bar code decal (to show it's a toy) and doesn't actually mean anything. James McDermott jokingly said it's "where the bodies are buried"

The Rick army / Evil Morty scene was huge from an animation standpoint and they almost couldn't do it due to how ambitious the shot was. They were going for a "Lords of the Rings", faux series-finale vibe, where they "give the fans what they THINK they want". Justin Roiland insisted they do it

There are definitely more big animation setpieces planned for the future

And that’s it! I’ll probably do more of these for the future episode podcasts, if anyone is still interested.

[dippedanddripped]

A Q&A With Keary Kase On Pioneering Hip Hop In Portland

Trenton, NJ born rapper Keary Kase is now pioneering hip hop from Portland, Oregon. After having been involved in a Nike ad campaign that featured him on Billboards across the US, Keary’s singles began to top the radio charts. He began to work with artists like The Wutang Clan and producers Bosko and Non-Stop Da Hitman. Most recently, he partnered with Adidas designers in Portland to develop ‘Reder’ – an athletic apparel brand with focus on CBD delivery systems for athletes who are recovering from injuries.

We had the chance to sit down with Keary Kase to talk about Portland’s thriving hip hop scene, his Nike campaign, and what fans and followers can expect in 2020.

Tell us a little bit about the hip hop scene in Portland. We’d love to know more!

Portland hip hop has so many facets, I’m not sure where to begin. We do have a solid foundation of originals, like Mic Crenshaw, Cool Nutz, Mellenium (Kenny Mack), Maniac Lok, Bosko, Vursatyl, X-Kid, DJ Wicked, Pete Miser and myself, who are still active.

Having strong artists, who have made careers in Hip Hop, as role models and idols allows the kids to aspire to become musical artists. Without these examples, the endless call to normalcy and job security (which we all now know is B/S) by pretty much EVERYBODY, would lead these young Ore-guns to self doubt and failure.

Mike Capes, Swiggle Mandela, Drae Steve’s, JR Patton and Keith Canvas are a few Portland artists to check out.

Right now, a lot of artists are showing support to the BLM movement using their voices to speak, rather than rap to those participating in protests, rallies and such.

How do you feel being originally from the east coast has affected your musical style?

In my embryonic years, I saw myself as an east coast rapper. I felt like, with the exception of rappers like Ice T, Too Short, NWA and The DOC, west coast rappers were mostly basic compared to east coast rappers. They had KRS, Big Daddy Kane, Slick Rick (my favorite golden era rapper), Special ED, Kool G Rap & Polo, RAKIM!!! Plus WBLS used to play all the hot new shit off the block.

I was enamored by east coast swagger and tone. The slang and accent was natural for me because my entire family spoke with it. My ability to slip in and out of the style made me different in Portland.

In the early 90’s I started spending time in LA. I was slanging FIMO beads to tourists at Venice Beach in the daylight and going to clubs and shows at night. I met this dude named Self Jupiter at this summer festival called The African Marketplace, where I was selling jewelry and celebrating my black youth. Jupiter was a member of a rap group called Freestyle Fellowship. He gave me a tape. After I listened to it, my entire opinion of west coast hip hop was turned upside down. I witnessed west coast rappers like Volume 10, WC, Divine Styler, Cypress Hill and E40 change the game. I became influenced by them and my style was set free. I became open to all influences, no matter if they came from the east, west, northwest, midwest or south.

Tell us more about the Nike ad campaign you were featured in. How did that come about?

One day I was leaving my boy Tommy Hestmark’s studio in downtown Portland. I was walking down the street with my back straight and my chest and chin up, as all men and women should. This guy approached me and said “excuse me, can I talk to you?” I looked at him sideways and he says “no, no. It’s just…. Your face is CRAZY!” I squinted as if to say “do you hear yourself fool?” He pulls out a card and explains that he owned a modeling agency and he thought my look was money. He asked me to call to schedule a test shoot. I called and scheduled the shoot. When I went there, he asked me if I was wearing boxers. I confirmed, then he asked me if I would take some test shots in my boxers. I’m thinking this dude is either going to proposition me for sex or he wants to see if I can be the next face of Calvin Klein. I gambled on Calvin Klein and agreed to take the pics. We walked into a hall and he said “you can get undressed here,” then walked away. So there I stood baring all that my boxers would not cover, with my clothes in a small pile on the floor. I heard footsteps, then an attractive woman appears holding a camera. It was his wife. She told me where to stand , took a couple quick pics and said “Keary, you’re a machine,” then allowed me to get dressed and walked me out.

A few weeks later they called me back and said a photographer knew of me and wanted to do a martial arts shoot. There was no pay, but the photographer was well known and really good. I had no portfolio, and no published work so this was an opportunity to do TFP to add to my comp card.

The photographer, Marcus Swanson, wanted me to do a flying sidekick, which is a classic taekwondo photo kick. When I got there, there was nowhere to get a running start so I improvised and pulled it off. While I was there, a Nike scout was lurking. As I was leaving, Marcus’ assistant, Amber Geiger, mentioned a potential shoot for Nike and asked if they could do a quick polaroid. Snap snap and I was out. A few months passed by before I got a call back from my agent about the shoot. In those few months, I became a black belt, won a gold medal at the the regional national qualification tournament in the black belt dividion, then a silver medal at the US National Championship, and was leaving in a few days to go whoop everybody’s ass at the invitational US Team Trials. It didn’t play out that way but I believe being so active in the few months between the martial arts test shoot and the paid shoot is what influenced their decision to go with me for the ad campaign. We agreed on a date and time, after my return, for the shoot.

When I got back, we did the shoot. I thought it was going to be light work but it was brutal. Modeling is hardcore. I remember seeing myself on a billboard for the first time. It felt like a distant relative to masturbation. I also remember it taking forever to get my money. Agencies can be gangster. I had to make some very firm promises before I got the check. After that, our relationship became square.

You have worked with several platinum artists and producers. Do you have any memorable stories about your experiences that you’d like to share?

Hmm. I don’t like to deride or D-RIDE anyone, but there was an interesting encounter with a Wu-Tang Clan member named Cappadonna. Cappadonna, Killa Priest and a small crew they were touring with were staying at my house when they stopped through Portland. My roommate, MyG,  was helping them do some business in Portland while they killed time before their next tour date. At the time, we had a lil 5 bedroom spread with 2 recording studios in it, so we let their whole crew crash at the spot. The house was already like a revolving door for whoever was on tour in the NW. Artists could come through while in town and collab, get local pub through us and be blessed with some Oregon grown greeneries for the road.

So this was the first time we met (Cappadonna & I). I was taking acting classes at the time so I was gone when they pulled up. When I got home after class, Cappadonna was in the booth. I walked in the room and he started talking wild like “aye yo break that nigga watch!…stab that nigga!” I’m standing in a room full of dudes, with New York energy, that I don’t know, so I assumed he was talking about me. I dip out to my room and get a screwdriver just so I have something in my hand incase things go left. A few minutes pass, then MyG tells Cappadonna to move on to the next part. At this moment I realize he’s in character and not talking about me at all. Killah Priest enters the room. We introduce ourselves and dap up. He asks me what I do and I tell him that I’m in acting school. When Cap comes out, KP says “this is Kase, he’s an actor.” They gave each other a look that, to me , expressed what he spoke as “this is Kase, he’s a fake nigga.”

Granted, I’ve been a skater since day 1, so I understand that some black people (especially at the time) associate being a black skater with being less black or more white. With that in mind, I let what he said breeze by.

After we blessed up, we got to the business. Bosko had let me hold a beat that I wrote a sticky verse to; Cappa liked it so I let him put a hook on it. Me and KP did a DOPE song on a track that this dude named Smoke produced. It sounded like some official Wu-affiliate shit. MyG lost the session so none of that material was ever released.

The next day the energy still felt suspect. Like they thought I was a suburban negro, lol. I took them to the block, which is now gentrified, but was still hood at the time. Cappa called my whip a 666. It was the same Denali XL with the same 26” Trump Spinners that was in the video for the song he was promoting at the time, but mine was cleaner. It seemed like he felt a way about it. We went to my mom’s restaurant, where Cappa requested a Psalms verse from my mother. She said “how about a Revelation,” and laced all of us.

I dropped them at the barber shop to get faded and bladed. When they came out, the energy was different. Cappadonna got in and said “you know your hood and your hood knows you. He said you put your moms in that restaurant, didn’t you?” I just looked at him and put my hand out. We dapped up and the respect, which was first being given by me and received by him, suddenly felt mutual.

Cappadonna is a wise dude and a beast MC. I asked him questions related to his lyrics. He explained to me what “God Degree” and “7:30” meant and told me the story of the origin of his name. You might be able to detect that I’m most definitely still a Wu-Tang fan, although I liked his earlier work. KP knows what I mean by that.

Tell us about your involvement with the CBD industry and your views on how it can be a therapeutic tool for people?

CBD is my go-to treatment for a number of conditions. If I am anxious, I use a non-psychoactive tincture. This gives me a general sense of well-being, without making me feel altered or high. I feel like myself on a good day. If I need to restful sleep, I employ a cannabinoid rich CBD blend that allows me to drift off into REM without jumping up 100 times to make sure the garage door is closed (or whatever). Using CBD is like taking premium vitamins.

In 2019, I started a company called Nina Botanica with a material designer who works for Adidas in Portland. I began researching how to use compression technology as a CBD delivery system for athletic injury rehabilitation. There are some products on the market that offer a similar product, but none that fully address the issues of muscle strains, tears and associated pain that can knock an athlete off of their game. What sets us apart is, our CBD compression system has a lifetime guarantee. You can use it until you’re tired of using it.

We also designed a pod based delivery system, called the NINA , with Shenzen based technology company Smoore. The smart hexagonal pod + cartridge system uses inductive charging in place of the industry standard USB to power up.

Due to COVID-19 and our current bout with systemic racism, the techy products will be in preliminary production until mid-late 2021.

Tell us about your latest project “Craze”. Who is involved and what inspired it?

I was a week back on after being off music for years. Just getting my lungs back, not planning on dropping anything yet; just warming up. An artist named Uneek, who had been my mentee for several years, reached out. He was talking about how he blew all of his savings on medical expenses for his seed and how William, Lil Willi and Big Bill were all coming for him at once. He had just got robbed in Atlanta, so he was shy about who he could trust in Portland.

Uneek asked me to help him to rebrand himself and act as a manager, as I did in the beginning of his career. Since he had just found the strength to come out about his sexual identity, he wanted to look to the LBGTQ community for support. Since that was outside of my sphere of influence, I decided to help him generate some traffic in his home studio, offering tracking and mixing as an engineer. I told him we could put out a mixtape to re-introduce him to his followers and the rest of the world. I got 15 tracks from  producers, Sixteen and J Doe. I wanted to see how serious he was about his career so I told him to put hooks on  all 15. He would send me a rough lyric or melody, then I would write or rewrite the lyrics then massage the melody and coach him on how to execute it.  After he did it, I would chop it and arrange it in a Logic, while I was on the road.

Once the mixtape concepts were in the bag, I told him we needed a real record to kick it off. There was a lot of material in his catalog, but nothing that sounded like a hit single to me.

He got a track from this lil dude named 64 and put a hook on it that had us laughing. He was like “yeah this track sound like something Da Baby would get on.” It wasn’t my style, really, but I kept getting drawn into the drums. I let the first line go off the top then it seemed like the rest of the lyrics were just there. We called it “She A Thot.” It dropped on all platforms back in April of this year.

Craze, the follow up single, manifested itself off of the vibe we were on after “She A Thot” dropped. 64 had sent us a 3 pack of beats so it had some of the same feel as the others, however, the “Craze” beat was much more elegant than the other two.It was like the bigger, sexier, more mature and pondering sister of the “She A Thot” beat.

When I started writing, I felt the beat asking me to confess. It was saying “tell your truth, Kase.” The melody in my head was so balanced that I just let it drive through the first verse. I remembered, as a young man, being so caught up in hustling that I lost my compassion for people. I reflected on how I had spent the last decade, since my first daughter was born, re-approaching life with more compassion.

Whatever you have done in your past does not define you. But sometimes it’s good to talk about it. Black  people have traditionally been afraid of counseling or therapy. Mostly because of our trust issues with the people providing those services. I strongly suggest talking to someone about the things that trouble you. My uncle Jeff calls it “dumping.”

Music is my therapy. Dumping is my new craze.

What artists are you listening to right now and why?

I like listening to new music. I’m listening to Lil Durk, Pop Smoke, Amine, Jack Harlow, etc. But that’s like research for me. I like to see and hear what the big dogs are investing in. But right now, I’m developing a K-Pop artist, so I’m listening Big Hit Entertainment’s people. I’m about to go over there and liberate some musical slaves. (*artists)

But I still listen to Sade.

What’s next for you in 2020? What can fans look forward to?

I’m dropping a mixtape later this month. I may be doing a record + video with Compton artist, AD in the next few weeks. We’re still working out the details, but he’s doing real good right now.

Other than that, I’m developing a young K-Pop idol named Kiari. That genre is making big waves. I’m also looking at television as a next play. I have a pocket ace in the Chinese market that I’m keeping tucked. Oh I’m doing business with China.  Sorry Chump…I mean, Sorry Trump. No, wait, I had it right the first time.

[spinji]

My Boyfriend Rates Organization XIII Members at 1AM

I woke up to this long line of messages on discord (these are copied verbatim). My boyfriend sporadically decided to look through all the organization members on the KH wiki and give his opinions. He knows little to nothing about Kingdom Hearts.

Xemnas

okay so right off im gonna say that xemnas is fuckin kylo ren says he has no emotions, clouded by anger am i joke to you oh wow it was his idea to add the X's what a fuggin nerd

Xigbar

xigbar....what a dumb name wAIT IS THAT SNAKE SNAKE??? SNAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKE he speaks in a surfer accent eXCUSE ME hello fellow kids, aS IF we're moving the fuck on

Xaldin

xaldin,,,, le baldwin hes japanese thats...his schtick wow ew roxas tell me on this doll where he touched you love never lasts yeah duh u cant feel it

Vexen

oh ew ew this man looks like he owns a van oh hes an intellectual huh rick and morty its called "where nothing gathers" and they gather there wow real secret organisation u got there this man is just there so it isnt organisation 12

Lexaeus

wow thats a mouthful lexaeus like zeus? hes just nice thats kinda it he likes zexion...

Zexion

WHOA WHOA EDGELORD ALERT wow this guy is just pushy "HEY" "YOU GUYS WORKIN????" two members instantly cease their makeout session

Saix

saix oh excuse me Saïx "lunar diviner" i thought it said diver lmao i like his hair tho,,, OH OH hes the boring one! righhhhhht

Axel

alright i have to admit axel's facepaint looks super weird when zoomed out oh so he feels things but he shouldnt this bitch is fuCKING ELSA CONCEL DONT FEEL YOU FOOL also his pose makes him look like a jester

Demyx

wowwwwwwwwwww he looks like an ass called it hes the annoying one TVDSAHJDS XIGGY X-FACE WOW oh so hes just a beauty queen who dumps his shit on kids assssssssssshole

Luxord

yeah would you look at that its cliche card man luxford is literally just lord of minigames *luxord even tho that aint a name dAMMIT OH AND HE CONTRADICTS HIMSELF GREAT JUST WHAT KH NEEDS LMAO

Marluxia

oh oh hES CUTE

hes a tumblr cutie flowerboy with pink hair and graceful antics thats my fucking aesthetic THE SCYTHE IS NAMED GRACEFUL DAHLIA OH MY GODDDD

Larxene

larxene is like..............the token girl, rite? why she got bug attenae why she the textbook sadist one with a peppy persona why she also use knives,,,, they got a knife guy already i i dont like her

Roxas

hahaha i mean me nobody else hA annnnnnnnnnnnnd yup hes his own person with his own feelings wow thats fucked up this description aint very flattering but hes a good boy dont make him rest

Xion

OH OH NEVERMIND THERES ANOTHER GIRL okay so just looking at her is this bitch kairi or something?? she doesnt have the same vibe....... loooks a littttttle too "token kindness" for this gig like even roxas dont look this...... "purposely innocent little kid" OH WOULDNT YOU KNOW IT SHE MAKES NO SENSE "replica of roxas" WTF I KNEW IT SHE DIES FOR DRAMA FUCKIN KNEW IT oh yup comes back just to be sad is she like a secret member or something??? oh god she does look like kairi ik shes a backup but still this is trippy "appears to be sora" oh jOY MORE CONFUSING PLOT DEVICES

Rankings (best to worst)

I. It's Roxas, what'd you fuckin' expect? II. I reallllllllllly like Marluxia's design and voice. III. Axel, cause he got feelings. ):( IV. Larxene, who has so merit, now, even if her hair is frEaKy. V. God, all these guys are assholes...uhhhh, Zexion! Cause he need sum milk. VI. I'll take Xigbar even tho his Nort eye is dumb. VII. Xemnas, cause he's a good nerd, and he just needs a bit of a nap. Scoot off to bed, young man. Your mood swings are showing. VIII. Yup, it's Xaldin, and his compensation spears. IX. Saix, because no personality is better than a terrible one. X. Ehhhhmmm, Luxord? I guess? Good concept, but Yugioh edged him out... XI. Xion, I would've put her higher...but I just can't get past the principal being bad. She is copypasta. XII. Lexaeus... Name. Hard. To spell. Pretty...forgettable... Straight up dumb design... XIII. Vexen, yeah it surprises me too that he ain't at the bottom, but I got a bone to pick So stay in the Organisation useless science weirdo predator man, hope they background checked you... XIV. Duh duh duh duh! It's fuckin' Demyx the token asshat! He prolly smells like AXE, he's got a pompadour AND a mullet AND an undercut. And that's even more overcompensation than the other guy. Hit the curb, bitch boi.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

#10yrsago Geek Mafia 3: Black Hat Blues; a heist novel for hackers

Rick Dakan's third novel in his Geek Mafia, Black Hat Blues, is every bit as good as the two previous, rollicking volumes -- and shows the signs of a writer who's flexing new literary muscles with every book, getting better and better as he goes along.

The Geek Mafia premise is simple: a group of hackers have reinvented themselves as a crew of big-con grifters who use technology to exact elaborate revenge from the bastards who screw them -- and the world -- over. Oh, they pull straight-ahead cons, too; they're not philanthropists or anything. But they've got a (developing) ethic about who is and isn't fair game, and a lot of the tension in the books springs over disputes over this classing "honor among thieves" conundrum.

Black Hat Blues picks up where Mile Zero (the second volume) ended; the crew is in Key West, politicized and energized, and ready to kick ass. They decide to go after some very big game this time, a slimy DC beltway insider who richly deserves it -- but first they have to recruit some new talent from various hacker cons around America (these scenes are just fabulous, accurately portraying some of the weirdest events you'll ever attend). And things go well -- until they don't, and now the crew is in way over its head and the danger is dialled up to 11.

Clever, engaging, sexy, geeky -- Rick Dakan's independently published books are fantastic material, real heist/caper novels for the Happy Mutant set; as with the previous two volumes, the design is great (Rick's got a friend who's a great a graphic designer), but the book has an unfortunately high typo and copyedit-problem count, an occupational hazard of the self-published.

Black Hat Blues

https://boingboing.net/2009/06/02/geek-mafia-3-black-h.html

[mwolf0epsilon]

DBH - Of Fishers and Seafarers

Sorry for how late this is, I've been struggling a bit with actually finishing this drabble on a lighter note and somehow failed miserably.

In which an android designed to repair NASA's spaceship for the upcoming Io mission, becomes a lot more to the woman that lovingly coded and designed him.

---

    Despite the fact this one project would improve every aspect of deep space exploration efforts, and that it may one day pave the way to the next step of humanity's preservation through the establishing of off-world colonies, NASA's finest did mourn the fact they were sending their most ambitious collaboration into orbit.

It's not that the chief engineers or other assorted members of staff were upset at the prospect of hard work burning up in Io's atmosphere, no the resources and work put into assembling the androids and ship they'd be transported in were not the biggest loss here.

No, they were much sadder knowing that the AIs they'd lovingly programmed and developed, would eventually be lost to the hostility of the vast void beyond.

         It was strange how quickly humanity had gotten used to androids and then begun to openly resent them. From the very beginning when they'd begun launching rovers and other assorted drones into space, NASA executives and lower level workers had always had a special place in their hearts for their robotic workers. But the androids? The androids were held with a degree of respect that far surpassed whatever it is your average Joe or Sally thought of their domestic models.

It wasn't just nerds being nerds and loving their toys. Anyone who tried to say so, would have to face the wrath of Dr. Taylor Fisher, one of the many members of the programming team at NASA, and the self-proclaimed mother of the one AI that everyone was so fond of.

Each member of the android exploration team had a specific set of skills they were built for that fit the role they would play inside the ship, and at least one set of scientists and engineers who adored them, but Taylor's unit was the one that seemed to have captivated the hearts of every human worker within NASA's facilities.

    Taylor was, of course, quite proud of how IO100-P turned out. Having spent so many countless nights fully refining the AI and testing it for bugs and other assortments of issues, she was glad to see the stream of data, inquiries and processes, become something new and unique in its own right.

She was no Elijah Kamski, and her darling Proteus was no Chloe, but she couldn't help just marvel as her project slowly worked it's way into passing the Turing Test.

The other AIs were just as impressive, if not more exciting to test and engage with considering their functions, but somehow her baby had become the most outgoing of them all even if his primary task was focused on repair works within the ship.

He held conversations better, took in information more quickly, and even seemed to retain interests unlike his fellow team members.

He had a personality, which she'd hidden from the stonefaced gargoyles from Cyberlife, but openly shared with her peers.

The first thing she did when she deemed him fit to be put into a body, was seek out the designers and call for some changes to the base design.

 “No no no, he looks too young!” She'd exclaimed “Proteus strikes me as a gentlemanly sort. Older, more experienced.”

 “But he IS very young, Taylor.” The designer, a slightly pudgy man named Rick, sighed “And you know those technicians won't agree to visually unappealing models.”

 “Being older isn't unappealing. A team of spacefarers shouldn't look fresh out of college. They should look respectable!” she'd responded angrily at the mere thought of age being perceived as ugly.

 “Like Cyberlife wants anything but their usual formula…” Rick rolled his eyes in frustration. He agreed with her but he didn't want to upset their collaboration partners.

 “Fuck what Cyberlife's saying! We coded them, we design them.” Taylor snarled “I'm not sending a babyfaced recruit to space!”

It took some work, but they'd managed a small victory. The Androids did not look like eternal doll faced youths, instead looking in between mid-thirties to mid-forties.

They'd promised more pay for the extra cosmetics, but it felt right.

Proteus looked right in her eyes, and it was adorable to look at this remarkable and likeable android, who was both soft-spoken and looked like he could be an average suburban father.

If anything, his love for the three android cats Taylor owned, proved as much.

 “Why three? Was one unit not enough?” He'd asked the first time she'd brought them with her to work.

 “I like cats.” She shrugged “I've always wanted one when I was a kid, but when I saw these three...Eh, call it an impulse buy if you want…”

 “Could you not own a cat when you were a child?”

 “No. At the time android cats weren't in the market, and I'm allergic to cat fur...So yeah...These three are kind of my fuck you to life for giving me a stupid allergy.”

Proteus seemed to consider this before focusing on the three android felines.

Two of them were shaped like the regular domestic model, while the third seemed larger. A common orange shorthair with wide and intelligent looking yellow eyes, a black cat with a noticeable white stripe on her nose and calm blue eyes, and a Bengal cat with forest green eyes. The three had collars of different designs, which merely shared the triangle marker indicating their android nature. They had no visible LED, an aesthetic choice.

 “I've gotten one of them modded to completion.” Taylor stated as he examined the cats that all seemed to be observing him with mild curiosity. “Helps to have a smart cat holding the fort.”

 “Holding the fort…?”

 “It's an expression. Do you want to know their names?” She smiled kindly at the android, who simply nodded. “Alright. The Bengal lady that's currently nibbling on your sleeve is called Terrabyte.”

 “...Pardon but it seems you have mispronounced Terabyte.” Proteus pointed out.

 “Naw, it's a pun. Bengal cats are like, Wilder than regular cats, hence Terra. And then since she's an android, byte seemed like an appropriate contradiction. Nature vs Man and all that jazz.”

 “Ah...I see. I find it an adequate name then.”

 “Good. Lil Terra isn't too refined, she's kind of vintage if you will, but she's lovable. The black one is called Luna. She's in the middle when it comes to intelligence, but that's only because I haven't gotten the time to buy the rest of her upgrades. She's a natural hunter tho, she swats flies straight out of the air!”

 “Luna...Perhaps an homage to your work for NASA?”

 “Nah, I'm just a dumb nerd. I named her after an anime cat.” Taylor chuckled “Sailor Moon kicks ass anyway, and the stripe makes it look like she's destined for greatness.”

 “...I shall have to procure this...Sailor Moon...to understand the context, but I trust the name is fitting?”

 “Oh god I've accidentally introduced anime to my android-son….My bosses are gonna kill me.” Taylor covered her face in amusement before shaking her head “Anyway, last but certainly not least, there's little old Data. He's a smart boy and he's modded to perfection. Intelligent and knows a lot of tricks. Before you ask, yes I named him after another show, but this time it's a sci-fi classic. Who could diss on Star Trek am I right?”

Proteus shrugged

 “I wouldn't know. Perhaps I require more research on the matter.”

 “I guess my boss won't be too angry if I introduce you to Star trek, he was a hardcore Spock and Picard fan when he was younger so... You're gonna love Data. He's the best character and he's like you! An android! In space!”

 “An android in space...Not yet I'm afraid. But soon.”

    Proteus became the primary focus of Dr. Fisher's time until the day he was called in to launch.

It was hard saying goodbye, even harder when he hugged her and confided that he was scared to go to Io, as he knew there would be no way of returning home to her, to his family.

NASA would mourn the android team, Dr. Fisher especially would mourn the loss of the android she painstakingly coded and designed.

Those calm features and brilliant lilac eyes, framed by a pair of glasses that complimented the absurdly adorable academic fashion he prefered, would haunt her dreams for months to come...And more so after the Revolution came to pass. After all, if the spacefarer androids did find a way to return, as impossible as that may be, she may not be around to see her boy again... She could only hope for him that the abyssal tides beyond, would be kinder to him than her health had been to her.

But then again, Proteus was a Fisher, and Fishers were destined to sail the winds of opportunity, be they out at sea or up above in the stars.

[hoodoo12]

DWC: Rick on Rick tease, please!

Bless you for thisSWF but mature-ish. Teasing. Rick on Rick. Voyeurism.

@ricksanchezdwc

You were minding your own business, just enjoying the sunshine here in the park, when an older gentleman caught your eye.

He was on another bench in a more shaded area. In non-descript shirt and trousers, he would have been forgettable if he hadn’t also been wearing a lab coat. His hair was a spiky nest of silvery blue spikes. In his hands was something that you couldn’t quite make out, that he was absorbed in.

Your gaze must have been heavy enough for him to feel it because he lifted his head and looked straight at you.

His eyes were sharp. You had the distinct impression he was sizing you up. Typically, if you were caught staring, you’d drop your head and make some contrite body gesture. But there was some suggestion in his expression that made you catch your breath and hold his gaze.

Your refusal to be apologetic seemed to please him. He gave up on whatever device he’d been fiddling with and kept his attention focused on you.

His long legs, already into manspreading territory, opened a little wider. He brought a hand to his chin, resting one finger on his mouth as if he were thinking, then drew that finger along his lips slowly. When he saw he had your complete attention, he opened his mouth just enough for the tip of his finger to slip inside. He sucked gently it. You were captivated by the movement, and couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to have his lips sucking a part of you–

He released his finger. You were too far away to hear anything, but could imagine the soft wet sound that was created when he did.

A sly grin crept across his face. He used the same hand and now wet finger to walk down his own torso, along his chest and belly to his crotch. With no shame, he cupped the bulge there.

It was suddenly too hot. Feeling a pleasant buzz between your own legs, you shifted on your bench, and wondered if you dared walk over to him and strike up a conversation. The signals he gave you were pretty clear. Maybe you didn’t even need a conversation; this man had done more wordlessly for you than your last dates had!

Before you could collect enough courage to actually stand up and follow through, however, another man appeared out of nowhere. At least it seemed that way. He stepped out from behind the trees, so you automatically figured that he must have been on one of the trails that criss-crossed the park’s wooded areas.

The interloper sidled up to the man on the bench with familiarity. You were instantly annoyed that this new person dragged the man’s attention away from you. It took you a second to realize both men looked amazingly similar.

They had the same lanky form and the same unruly hair. The one on the bench said something, nodding in away that you knew meant to indicate you, and the newcomer flicked a glance in your direction. He had the same sharp, questing gaze as the other, and the same sly grin lazily lifted one side of his mouth.

They must be related, you decided.

However, when the new man eased to the bench beside the one who’d been suggestively flirting with you and slipped his hand over the other man’s shoulders to pull him closer for a full mouth kiss, you had to reassess that idea.

It was a bold kiss, one that demonstrated familiarity and intimacy all at once. The man on the bench melted into it and held his own, pushing into the newcomer’s mouth and hooking his hands into his clothing. You noted the exact moment his tongue slipped passed the other’s lips, and when they moved apart a little, you could still see the sensual movement of their tongues touching.

You should look away. Even if you’d been flirted with, it was obvious you were out of the picture now.

As rational as that line of thinking seemed, you couldn’t drag your eyes away from them.

There were playful nips and tugs on lower lips as they delved back in. Your flirt hadn’t been shy about putting a hand on his own groin, and after several moments of oral give and take, he slipped his fingers to the other man’s fly as well. Still too far away to hear anything, your ears believed that they could hear the gaspy groan his twin made as he pulled away from the kiss when he was squeezed there. The shift of his hips, rocking them forward slightly, demonstrated visually that it felt good.

In response, his own hands drifted from shoulder to waist, pinching along the way, then slipping under the lab coat. You can’t see what’s happening under there, but could imagine those long fingers gripping and kneading the other’s ass.

The man who’d been on the bench first threaded his free hand through the other’s hair and gave a bit of a tug, then captured his mouth again as it opened in another moan you dreamed you heard.

You could feel yourself blushing, even in the heat of the sun. You could also feel a light sweat break out on you, and you needed to take a breath through your mouth. That nice feeling of excitement that had nosed around was firmly seated in your belly now, and if you weren’t in a public park you’d have considered slipping a hand to your own groin.

Even in a public park it was a fight not to touch yourself.

The two men continued their indecent display. You could see the tenting of both their trousers now, and the kissing had become more aggressive the more turned on they got too. Their mouths left red marks on the tender skin of their necks, as they explored downward. They weren’t on top of each other, yet, but rutted into each other hands shamelessly.

Then, in some unspoken agreement, they stopped. They were still panting into each other’s mouths, and you could see that they both still had tight grips on the other’s clothing. In the pause, the newcomer licked the inside of the first’s mouth; a quick, intimate gesture that was just as electrifying as anything you’d seen.

With another quick brush of his lips to the other’s and an indulgent smile, the man you’d seen originally turned his head towards you and locked eyes with you again.

You should be embarrassed and ashamed that you’d boldly watched something that was private. Part of you was embarrassed, true, but more than that you were incredibly aroused. They’d obviously done it on purpose; it wasn’t any secret you and he had a tiny connection before the other man showed up. You wondered, though, if he was angry you’d intruded.

But there was a quirk to his eyebrow. Like a mute, “Well? Did you like what you saw?”

Like an invitation.

The other man’s fingers drew designs on the first’s chest, and he planted another kiss to the first’s temple. As he did he watched you too. A luring smile lifted his kiss-bruised lips.

Still blushing, you pushed yourself off your bench to approach them, and see what might be next. 

fin …?

[aion-rsa]

TV’s Most Confusing Episodes From Doctor Who to Westworld

https://ift.tt/2WAmL4r

There has to be some confusion in a TV drama, a procession of things not-yet-understood. That’s the deal: accept temporary bafflement in the expectation that at some point, all will be revealed. Or even if it won’t be, at least there’s a reason it’s been left unsolved, like a Sudoku you’ve got jam on. 

Read more

TV

Enough, Scrappy-Doo! The TV Dogs Who Need to Chill the F Out

By Alec Bojalad and 3 others

TV

TV’s Most Stressful Episodes From Battlestar Galactica to The Handmaid’s Tale

By Alec Bojalad and 2 others

What doesn’t work is when a TV show that’s supposed to be taking you along with it, leaves you behind. That could be your fault (Did you stay awake? Skip an episode? Were you checking your phone? Was your dog doing that weird thing with the curtains so you had to get up and miss a bit?). Or it could be the fault of a TV show either too ambitious or inaccessible or illogical for comfort. We’ve chosen the episodes that left us scratching our heads; you can judge who’s to blame. 

Doctor Who ‘Twice Upon a Time’ (2017)

So named because twice is the minimum number of times you have to watch the 2017 Doctor Who Christmas special before you have the weakest grasp of what’s going on. Considering that most will have only watched it once, and that, from inside a boozy, gravy-based fug, it’s staggering how esoteric this one is – impressively so. As showrunner Steven Moffat’s farewell episode, it’s a distillation of the sort of clever, complicated, ambitious, self-referential writing he’s known for.

There are two Doctors (three if you count the post-Regeneration glimpse of Thirteen), two overlapping Doctor Who stories, a Dalek, an ancestor of The Brigadier, a ship’s pilot made of glass, a moving historical WWI moment and three companions who aren’t really there. (Or are they?) It’s about regret, or reminiscence, or saying goodbye. It’s definitely about something and is doubtless very meaningful and poignant once you crack its shell, but there’s the sense that, unless you’re one of the Who hardcore, it doesn’t really care for you to try. Why be so aloof? It’s Christmas. Let the rest of us play too. LM  

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Season 4 Episode 8 ‘I’m Not the Person I Used to Be’

This was a bold move from a bold show. When Santino Fontana chose to leave Crazy Ex-Girlfriend after his one year contract ended, the character of Greg – assumed by many to be lead Rebecca’s romantic endgame – was written out in early season two. Then in the fourth and final season, Greg returned but this time played by Skylar Astin. Instead of glossing over the casting change and pretending as though nothing had happened (like when, say, Ross’ ex-wife Carol on Friends or mercenary warrior Daario Naharis on Game of Thrones changed faces), Crazy Ex-Girlfriend hit it straight on.

This smart, innovative series had always been filtered through the unreliable perspective of lead Rebecca Bunch (hence the extravagant musical numbers that take place in her head). So when Greg’s character was recast, the show used it to comment on our impressions of other people. ‘I’m Not the Person I Used to Be’ lampshaded New Greg with a psychoanalytical reflection on changing perceptions and personal growth. It was brave. It was innovative. It was admirable. It was… really confusing and distancing. However great Astin was in the role, and however clever the idea was, New Greg was the point at which some Crazy Ex-Girlfriend fans began to peel away from a show clearly unafraid to leave viewers behind. LM

Westworld Season 3 Episode 8 ‘Crisis Theory’

The Westworld season one finale was confusing in a delicious, grinning ‘Oh, you clever devil’ kind of way. The Westworld season two finale was confusing in an exhilarating ‘Blimey. All right then!’ kind of way. The Westworld season three finale was confusing in a way that made you feel like you’d watched the entire Terminator trilogy on fast-forward while downing a 12-pack of Red Bull and trying to rewire the electrics in your house. It wasn’t a good feeling.

I still don’t know which world-dominating AI was which, who was fighting who, what the evil French guy wanted, how many people were secretly Dolores, whether Maeve still only existed in the Matrix, and why Jesse from Breaking Bad was the new Jesus. If free will still exists by the time season four comes, I’m using mine to either get a valium prescription or change channels. LM

Rick and Morty Season 4 Episode 6 ‘Never Ricking Morty’

“Never Ricking Morty” is a particularly divisive episode of Rick and Morty – even at this very website! Some of us loved it, while others weren’t big fans. One thing that’s undeniable, however, is that this midseason 4 episode is the show’s most complicated narrative endeavor yet. “Never Ricking Morty” takes place on a “Story Train,” meaning that the plot initially goes through your typical three-act storytelling structure.

Once Rick and Morty realize where they are, however, Rick understands that the only way out of the Story Train is to reject the conventions of storytelling altogether. This means that any natural storytelling inclination must be resisted. It also means that the show burns through about nine series finales worth of epic nonsense right at the end as Rick and Morty’s “canon” is sucked right out of them. It’s tremendously challenging to watch, much less understand, and the episode wants it that way. – AB

Russian Doll Episode 7 ‘The Way Out’

Like many other Groundhog Day-style “time loop” stories, Netflix’s Russian Doll goes out of its way to establish the “rules” of its sci-fi premise. Every time Nadia Vulvokov (Natasha Lyonne) dies (which happens with disturbing frequency), she returns to the night of her 36th birthday party, washing her face in the bathroom as Harry Nilsson’s “Gotta Get Up” plays. That much is easy to understand, and Russian Doll has fun seeing how far it can make Nadia last before perishing and returning to the night in question.

Once she meets another person stuck in a time loop, however, things start to get wacky. Russian Doll’s seventh episode, “The Way Out,” is about as off-the-wall an experience as you’ll find on television. Nadia’s loved ones start to disappear. Then she flashes back to memories of her mother. Before you know it, teeth are bloodily falling out. Russian Doll settles in for a relatively logical ending in its eighth episode, but this penultimate installment is pleasantly incomprehensible. – AB

The Nevers Episode 6 ‘True’

The Nevers’ premise is bold enough to begin with. The HBO series is set in a fictional Victorian era where a select portion of the population (most of them women) have been “Touched” or blessed with supernatural abilities. Apparently, however, bold wasn’t nearly bold enough. The Nevers’ sixth episode, which serves as a de facto season finale due to a COVID production delay, upends everything.

Read more

TV

Sky Atlantic’s The Nevers Proves That Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

By Lacy Baugher

TV

The Nevers Part 1 Finale Is The Most Surprising Hour of TV in a Long Time

By Alec Bojalad

This episode begins not in 19th century London like every other installment thus far, but in a far flung dystopian sci-fi future. Earth is barely habitable and humanity is on the ropes. The only possible hope that the human race has left is in the form of a powerful alien species known as the Galanthi. If this all sounds complicated, you don’t even know the half of it. “True” is notable for not holding the audience’s hand through this disorienting experience at all. The episode makes no attempt to tone down its futuristic jargon and it’s not entirely clear what’s even happening until halfway through. By episode’s end, it’s apparent how “True” connects to The Nevers’ original concept, but no one would be blamed for needing multiple rewatches to really get it. – AB

Farscape Season 4 Episode 7 ‘John Quixote’

Let it never be said that Farscape was a TV show afraid to take a big creative swing. In season 4, we get this trippy and confusing episode (written by series star Ben Browder), which sees Crichton and Chiana trapped in a virtual reality game based on the memories of Black-T Crichton (because, yes, this was after the storyline that saw the show’s main character split into two, equally valid humans) and a neural template from Stark. The game is designed to keep C & C trapped in the gameworld until they die so their consciousnesses will be trapped in the virtual reality—wait for it—forever.

This hour of TV actually holds up quite well upon rewatch, probably because it is packed to the brim with clever pop culture references, but an initial watch of this series installment is absolutely bonkers, featuring Aeryn as a southern belle, Rygel as a version of Monty Python’s Black Knight who can shoot fire out of his ass, and D’Argo as a lederhosen-wearing Hansel who, at one point, eats baked beans out of Jool’s intestines. I can only imagine what someone watching this episode out of context would imagine this show is actually about. – KB

Fringe Season 2 Episode 11 ‘Unearthed’

Some episodes of television intentionally challenge the viewer’s ability to interpret what the hell is going on, and some episodes of television are broadcast wildly out of order, seemingly bringing back a character killed off in the previous season for a humdrum monster-of-the-week installment. You may have guessed that I have a specific example in mind for that second category and, if so, you would be right. Written and filmed to be the 21st episode of Fringe’s first season, “Unearthed” was instead recycled to be a mid-season installment in the second season of Fox’s usually pretty great sci-fi drama.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

This might have worked—it’s a basic episode that sees the Fringe team exploring the mystery of a teen girl who is pronounced dead, only to wake up screaming an alphanumeric code while doctors are working to remove her organs—save for the fact that it features a Fringe team member who was killed at the end of the previous season. Honestly, I can laugh about this now, but, at the time, it was jarring and confusing, with the network (Fox, if you were wondering) offering no pre-episode or in-episode explanation offered for why the aforementioned deceased character might be up and walking. For this to happen in an episode that also features a guest character thought dead revealed to be alive is icing on the cake. – KB

The OA Episode 8 ‘Invisible Self’

The OA is one of the most aggressively bizarre shows in Netflix history. Created by and starring Brit Marling, this two-season sci-fi series is fit to bursting with strange, at times difficult-to-comprehend concepts. The storyfollows Marling as Prairie Johnson, a young woman who resurfaces after disappearing – only now she refers to herself as “The OA (or original angel)”. Prairie/The OA recruits several disciples who she promises to take to another dimension. In “Invisible Self”, the final episode of the show’s first season, it all somehow culminates into…well, into this:

Yes, what you’re seeing there is a group full of cult weirdos engaging in an interpretive dance to stop a school shooter. And mostly succeeding! The OA‘s second season gets even stranger in many respects but it’s hard to top the confusing majesty of this first season finale.

Twin Peaks: The Return ‘Part 8’

Legendary filmmaker David Lynch has absolutely no concerns about being dubbed “confusing.” In fact, when it comes to Lynch’s filmography, that’s kind of a feature, not a bug. In-between crafting mind-bending classic films like The Elephant Man, Blue Velvet, and Mulholland Drive, however, Lynch took some time to stamp his name into TV history with the surprisingly straight-forward Twin Peaks. Sure, Twin Peaks was frequently abstract and strange throughout its two-season run but it had a coherent plot, which is more than many Lynch movies can claim.

That sense of narrative coherence all ends during a particular episode of the 2017 revival Twin Peaks: The Return. “Part 8” is absolutely bonkers. Episode co-writer Mark Frost described it as “what you might describe as a Twin Peaks origin story, [showing] where this pervasive sense of darkness and evil had come from.” In Frost and Lynch’s world, that sense of darkness comes in forms including but not limited to: the detonation of the first atomic bomb in 1945, oodles of primordial ectoplasmic fluid, a frog/cockroach creature, woodsmen manifesting out of mid-air, and of course: a performance by “The” Nine Inch Nails. It’s one of the most confusing episodes of television in history…and one of the best.

Dark – Every. Single. Episode.

When trying to pinpoint one episode to highlight for this article, Dark fought back and I came to the conclusion that every single episode of German multigenerational sci-fi series Dark is borderline impenetrable. Just when you think you have finally wrapped your head around what’s happening in the small town of Winden, Dark will throw in another layer to this timey-wimey, multiversal story that assures that you, in fact, have no idea what the hell is going on.

That being said, unlike some of the shows on this list, the confusing nature of Dark’s narrative isn’t a bug; it’s an intentional feature. This is a show that asks a lot from its viewers, but gives us satisfying answers in return. And it’s OK if you only ever have half an idea of what’s going on—if that’s the case, you’re doing better than most of Dark’s characters. – KB

The post TV’s Most Confusing Episodes From Doctor Who to Westworld appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3sViy7G

[thejudgingtrash]

I love to see someone else acknowledging that Annabeth is a jackass,but still appreciating her character(and even saying that it makes her great). I mean,she's a traumatized immature teen girl with a ton of issues and a huge ego. Even Percy finds her difficult and tiresome at times. But it doesn't detract from her good traits(intelligence, ambition, she can be quite compassionate at times).

Y E S

Say it with me y’all:

ANNABETH CHASE IS A MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE!

AND WE LOOOOOOOVE HER FOR THAT!

The minute Tumblr hits me up with my dose of pjo posts I’m like-

DID WE ACTUALLY READ THE SAME FUCKING BOOKS?!

I’m seeing cuddly smushy tushy Annabeth posts from everyone (big and small pjo blogs) and- what?

This is the type of shit you people willingly focus on??? Fanon Annabeth is straight up trash. She has way more to offer than this sappy shit. Canon Annabeth Chase is one mean bitch.

- She is terribly judgmental (right up my alley, look at my goddamn username). Uhh Tyson everyone? Yes. The books are made for children and the message was obviously “never judge a book by its cover” and she had a terrible traumatizing come up. But this sentiment stays throughout the books while she’s maturing and getting older. This trait stays. What did Rachel, her blue brush and her fucking A-cups do to you, Chase? As if she’d every had a chance with our mans Percy! Not gonna lie, we love a jealous queen!

- She is egotistical af, she inserts herself in all types of situations. I wanted to physically tear Annabeth apart in the PJO series! (WE STAN) She knows when and what she wants!

- She is downright hotheaded and punches Percy a couple of time?? (and no, that fucking Judo flip for something that wasn’t his goddamn fault isn’t cute. Wtf is wrong with you people)

- She downplays her own boyfriends intelligence despite all of the outsmarting shit he spontaneously does??? Wowza. That hurts.

- That also correlates with this one: don’t forget her fatal flaw? Bitch thinks the is the shit! Better than everyone and anything! Ego stroking, we love it!

BUT

- She is smart (although I wish Riordan would’ve branched out with the Athena kids apart from making them the SmArT oNeS. They could have non-op powers). She clearly criticizes faulty education systems!

- She is passionate! (when it comes to her designs for example. Her talking about her dreams in book 2 is way too cute)

- She shows compassion with others once she's opened up to them.

- And she loves her man. And we love her for that. She took a fucking knife for our homeboy!

- And she gets better! Slowly like it should be for proper development.

(I could go on with pros/cons on both sides but I’m too lazy for this. And I’m pretty sure some major blog already did some analysis on her). Annabeth is a multidimensional character with many, many, many facets. Her curling up in Percy’s lap or whatever doesn’t come close with this. I’m still flabbergasted.

I get it. As soon as we read stuff we process it and automatically turn it into fanon in our heads. We think about what could’ve happened, accidentally change looks, continue the storyline how we’d love to see things end. Fan fiction and fan art exist for a reason, people. I mean in my head canons and unfinished PJO fan fics the actual heroes of myths like Theseus, Orion, Odysseus, etc. are alive and thriving and doing stuff. But that shouldn’t erase the actual base. Canon Annabeth is the way to go people!

The PJO series had everything. Thoughtfulness, a good and carefully structured plot (although everything is basically ripped-off fan fiction based on the old myths so tweaking/re-writing pre-existing stuff ain’t that hard), proper world building, great characters. Rick Riordan’s own sorry ass could never ever do that again. I know that, you know that and deep down he knows that as well. I’m sorry Heroes of Olympus and Trials of Apollo but your wanky asses could never!

Damn... We are still loving these characters and talking about them AFTER 15 GODDAMN YEARS!

That shows that the series is a great read. And oh yeah...

ANNABETH CHASE IS A FUCKING BITCH IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE! And also while we’re at it...

PERCY IS A FUCKING PERSON OF COLOR AND ANNABETH IS WHITE! GET IT FUCKING RIGHT, PEOPLE!

And that has been my TED talk. And now shred me with your opinions, people!

[mostlysignssomeportents]

#10yrsago Geek Mafia 3: Black Hat Blues; a heist novel for hackers

Rick Dakan's third novel in his Geek Mafia,

Black Hat Blues

, is every bit as good as the two previous, rollicking volumes -- and shows the signs of a writer who's flexing new literary muscles with every book, getting better and better as he goes along.

The Geek Mafia premise is simple: a group of hackers have reinvented themselves as a crew of big-con grifters who use technology to exact elaborate revenge from the bastards who screw them -- and the world -- over. Oh, they pull straight-ahead cons, too; they're not philanthropists or anything. But they've got a (developing) ethic about who is and isn't fair game, and a lot of the tension in the books springs over disputes over this classing "honor among thieves" conundrum.

Black Hat Blues picks up where Mile Zero (the second volume) ended; the crew is in Key West, politicized and energized, and ready to kick ass. They decide to go after some very big game this time, a slimy DC beltway insider who richly deserves it -- but first they have to recruit some new talent from various hacker cons around America (these scenes are just fabulous, accurately portraying some of the weirdest events you'll ever attend). And things go well -- until they don't, and now the crew is in way over its head and the danger is dialled up to 11.

Clever, engaging, sexy, geeky -- Rick Dakan's independently published books are fantastic material, real heist/caper novels for the Happy Mutant set; as with the previous two volumes, the design is great (Rick's got a friend who's a great a graphic designer), but the book has an unfortunately high typo and copyedit-problem count, an occupational hazard of the self-published.

Black Hat Blues

https://boingboing.net/2009/06/02/geek-mafia-3-black-h.html

[ratherhavetheblues]

TERRENCE MALICK’S SONG TO SONG “It’s always a free-fall now…”

© 2017 by James Clark

   Although Song to Song (2015/ 2017) adopts the design priority of a pell-mell rout by an army of short-lived wild things being long-term softies, there does emerge, for our sense of counter-attacking against the nearly non-stop jumpiness, a pair of visitations from sagas less spasmodic. The first is the silent, black and white, white-hot film melodrama of massacre, ripping into the midst of a palatial, ultra-modern household owned by an Austin music producer, Cook, besotted by the capacity to marshal hookers to his bed and thus drive his wife, Rhonda, to suicide. Along that so-called life to the fullest, he tells himself, “I can’t take this life straight.” He goes on to ask his former-waitress, former-Kindergarten teacher wife, part of an unstable harem, “What’s your fantasy? What are you afraid of?” She tells herself and whatever else could read her thoughts, “When I was a girl I loved everything. You killed my life…” [in the course of a marriage which delivered a nice house to her destitute mother]. That wild premonition including axe-murder and flowing blood reminds us of a jaded screenwriter, Rick, in Malick’s Knight of Cups (2015), who disregards a video in the foyer of a chic office tower, a decorative production in black and white whereby several women blend into each other from their long, jet-black hair, apparel, make-up and eyes. Rick’s sidelined, spent force may not be going anywhere, but the surreal artwork along his retreat becomes part of a rescue mission which speaks to the defunct Rhonda’s once loving everything, to no avail. (The two marital casualties meet when she is his server in a diner. “I have a condition,” he quips. “I can’t be left alone…” [“Help Me, Rhonda”]. The distance between Song to Song’s death-spiral and Knight of Cups’ going swimmingly in an infinity pool (like the one Rhonda OD’d in) gives us to understand that a very different consideration has become necessary.

   The second way the spinning calamity finds some authoritative righting derives from Cook’s increasingly raw thrashing around for a return to the spirit of music he once cared for and received great wealth from in return. Hoping to rally his gentle and devastated wife, he comes up with a reddish, syrupy preparation the prospects of which give him something like a sense of rejuvenation. He ladles the concoction into her mouth and joins her in being infected with a stupendous elixir. This is far from and yet unmistakeably quoting the “taste of cherry” by which an old man expects to revive a suicidal cynic in Abbas Kiarostami’s film, Taste of Cherry (1997). Neither bid comes to fruition. But Kiarostami’s startling denouement, brushing off the complainer as dispensable dead-weight, informs the nihilist in our film today with a world of wit and wisdom from which someone might proceed with body language an entity like Cook chooses, instinctively, to do without. (He takes Rhonda to a Longhorns game where they see a touchback in favor of the home team. Overdrive and its penalty—just like nature; just like this whole two-hours-plus of digging their own grave.)

   One other, presumably more obvious, motif can provide substantive illumination for this art work wrought in the key of massive, confusing surrender. Though I haven’t looked at a lot of commentary about Song to Song, I have been struck, in what I have read, by the complete indifference toward what a musical career entails—and particularly what a rock and roll career entails. All of the responders I saw could have been dealing with a conclave of numbed but randy and careerist shoe manufacturers. Concerts, clubs and musicians abound; but only their career, romantic and lame comedic considerations get a look in. (In fairness, that is what every surface is saturated in.) Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll come our way in order to distort the still validly vivid music industry, the better to have the film become a long, loud cry of pain which, for those who are really attending, brings forward in its wake the home of an elusive sublime, remotely like the products of a cyclotron.

   The scope for misunderstanding here is so pronounced that presenting another complement seems the only way to offset the myopia and contempt being showered upon Song to Song. Looking for the barrel of fun here is a self-damaging business; and looking for that compensatory self-sacrifice prods us toward (too much) resignation as a prescription for disappointment. The lead-pipe ugliness of the lives and events on tap can only shine as instalments of (unsuccessful) overturning of the entire fabric of dominance which has obtained across the board and across the eons. This film is about rock and roll; and do we need to be reminded that, unlike accommodating, obscurantist jazz and jaunty folk devotions, the whole point is taking you somewhere your half-assed world history won’t? And that, my friends, is what art is all about. Instead of rocketing out killer performances, Song to Song’s artist-in-charge is well aware (perched as he is in the midst of the Austin musical overdrive) that rock is a massively failed invention. (Here the optics of “festivals” are so calamitously dead you’d rather be taking a chance on Intensive Care than be having the time of your life like that.) Once again, we need the modesty to realize that major artists don’t piss around with millions of dollars and they don’t lose control of the depths they won’t do without. The drowning of those on camera does not purport to be an expose or an accurate measure of the full range of the music land. It very pointedly brings to focus the worst which the métier can and does display often. (Everybody knows that the field is weighted down with ass-holes; but ass-holes who occasionally excel in important ways, for a few months, anyway.) In presenting such a tailspin, Malick is intent on setting in relief the dangerous and necessary drafts awaiting the steps beyond their parents’ rancid ideals. There would be no such incisiveness in celebrating the business fat cats who always opt for paragon, mainstream co-opted status in Rock’s Hall of Fame. Believe it or not, the heart and soul of rock and roll is much more important than that news of the day filler. And so, the specimens making quite a mess in our film today may be obsessively, exasperatingly repetitive about insistence beyond their strength; but they are not a ridiculous joke (having at least got on to the playing field which very few will touch).

   Despite those tantrums amidst a cult-like circle unable to resist nonsense in word and deed, no one seems to find that there is one figure instrumental in setting the macabre pace for a constituency of otherwise inconsequential slugs. The mad priest to those bush-league hangers-on is of course, Cook, the only one we see who has clawed and delivered his way to a fortune and now, within a mysterious doldrum, has become a tolerated former eminence—like the director looking pretty good to Betty in Mulholland Drive—still a big deal to suckers like Faye (a protagonist, but not the protagonist, having become, after a stint, more to her capacity, of being his receptionist, a placebo taken in by not merely the invalid but the doctor himself. Another self-perceived diamond-in-the rough who intersects the dubious cloud of invention from which Cook once had the fire in the belly to strike gold is BV, a singer/songwriter who, though not derived from the corporate pool, soon shows himself to be roadie material.

   Fittingly, it is the latter two, in their now being on the spot to confront the creative imperative, by which this pitching picture begins. Faye tentatively opens a door a crack and a black void confronts her. Then, at a club, she having at least got her foot in the door, she silently talks to herself about the ingredients having gone into the hugely problematic ambition to be a viable musical force, suddenly absorbing her. She recites what she’s probably casually confessed a hundred times in the orbit that is irresistibly seductive big-time Austin, to assure all and sundry she’s a woman of the time who could touch a wide and lucrative constituency. “I thought sex was supposed to be violent [a notion she probably picked up in the sixth grade]. I thought it would bring me to find something real…” Clinging to Cook in bed while such clichés clang to the floor, she confirms her situation of being at the fringes of the music business, notwithstanding being a regular at the boss’ tony house amidst band members no longer needing or even trusting him but curious witnesses to a pile-up. The cut to a mosh pit at a festival few have bothered to attend provides an ironic (and silent) commentary regarding Faye’s tottering theory of far-reaching gusto. The pace of visual variety is rapid; but let’s pause to contemplate how one reaches the state of an absence of feeling something real. Whereas it might come down to trading in cheap clichés, we can make a working premise that the spirit of true rock and roll uncanniness has put in a brief, tantalizing appearance (as it has for nearly all of us), but that its blessing has been frighteningly rescinded. Also adrift on that basis is BV, who says to himself, “All the people [the head bangers and Faye becoming an item] with violence in their hearts. Every kiss felt half of what it should be…” The concluding first scrum, to which we have to apply firm attention to see its being more than a bit of driftwood in the wilderness, hands over to us Faye presenting to herself the prayer in voice-over, “to know the right people… to get through the fence…” She follows with, “I wanted experience. Any experience is better than no experience.” She walks by an hors d’oeuvre table consisting of a young girl lying on her back hoping to reach the right people. Cook makes a twosome and both of them essay slow, small approaches to each other, having a glimmer that flash may not be necessary. Their hands in close-up, touching each other, come up empty, a formula missing an essential factor. When the camera returns to all there is of Faye, she intimates, “I thought he could help me… I paid my dues…” Saying that in a Malick film (as such carrying the centuries-long trek of phenomenological research and the anchor of the avant-garde) is asking for trouble. There are dues to be paid here, so costly that no one in sight (save one) can afford them.

   Why would a corporate leader lead the kind of life Cook does? Is it valid to suppose that his going to the well of possibility, to meet his company’s recent roadblocks, directs him to unexpected weightiness in the music defeating him. No such weight interferes with the job-searches of Faye and BV. They join him on a junket to Mexico in his private jet, replete with a pressure system which establishes a play of weightlessness (nice try, but gimmicks and drugs do not replace maturity). In the land of crazy booze and crazy piety, the tourists, crazy drunk on tequila, crawl along the dark alley which begins to look like home. (The bite of the tiger being grabbed has ineluctably instituted in the hangers-on something more painful than bitching about waiting for a fat job to fall into their lap.) The following day, watching as the wannabes twirl on a mesa, Cook rushes to a conclusion that is not totally out to lunch. “They have a beauty in their life” [he puts to himself, and us] that makes me ugly…” Their dancing is tepid and his assessment is vapid. But the chill of mortality is unmistakeable. As the new coupling supplants the old, BV asks Faye about how seriously she is involved with Cook. “You can tell me a lie. That’s the fun about me.” As this tide of half-hearted earthiness and flaccid assessments builds up a sadly eventful inertia, there remains for us to delineate the variables of a calamity which, though seemingly pretty far-out, is the story of each of our lives. The moment when Faye leaves Cook finds her telling him, “You have too much pride.” Does that dismissal betray her ambiguity about being an avatar of feeling something real?

   The conspicuous detour those three turn into a nauseating miasma might be said to be going somewhere, by contrast; but the not “fun” about them is that they’re light-years away from what rock music can and does sporadically accomplish. BV had had some songs out; but the only aspect of that event we see is his complaining that Cook had registered them in his name alone. “It was supposed to be 50-50,” the disenchanted voice of the millennials reminds the disenchanted Gen-Xer. The boss’ riposte is to tell him, almost certainly correctly, that he’s deluded in thinking himself a musician. BV spits at the skeptic’s feet as he departs that false and final start as a musical money-maker. Faye soon doubts that BV is for her, having a hankering for professional efficacy in everyone but herself. Cook, perhaps in the spirit of farce, offers her a recording contract. She’s soon onstage at a festival with a couple of dozen other new finds, the whole set-up strongly redolent of a large guitar shop with amateurs here and there dribbling out a few chords. Soon she’s even less impressed with her “career” than sleeping with Cook. “I don’t want to do this anymore…” Sooner or later she and BV reunite and leave Austin for BV’s rural homestead (where his father is ailing and his brothers are in and out of jail). They purport to be made for each other, he working on an oil rig. Emmanuel   Libitski’s camera work endowing, as throughout, currents of epiphanic power which the advanced species do, as throughout, their utmost to kill (here in the form of a stunted life deemed to be full). The various bits of enhancement from the classical repertoire go nowhere in addressing a non-classical crisis. One composition, the early pop tune, “Runaway,” does, with irony and tatters of vigor, bring BV and Faye to as close to a moment of kinetic truth as they’re ever apt to enjoy.

   The many ageing notables, and simply old, surrounding this situation of retreat by Faye and BV deftly complement the disaster in the foreground. We have Patti Smith coming across like a den mother, counselling Faye in the verities of romance, long-term satisfying marriage and life as a widow. (She also resembles the nutty old gal foreseeing “trouble” at Betty and Rita’s short term rental in Mulholland Drive.) Then there’s Iggy Pop, in the mode of a youthful ancient—bare to the waist, of course—holding forth, with far more ancient than youthful, on filmmakers engaging musicians to enliven their productions. We have a ska band hanging around Cook’s place, discussing physio therapy and tattoos, with instruments nearly but never played. One glimpse of a festival concert features dancers shaking their bums, to an effect as thrilling as the Frank Buck zoological featurettes in the 1930’s. Playing against that water-torcher there is Faye in a brief and delicate lesbian encounter, remarkable for its momentum being undone by self-consciousness on the part of Faye and trendy self-serving on the part of the French house-sitter. BV, along that trajectory where each in their own way have turned their back on Cook but still haven’t seen each other as a godsend, starts thriving on the optics of eccentricity—much easier to bring off than real distinction—dating a woman about 15 years his senior, until his mother pulls the plug. Also within that broad miasma on the spot to deliver something better, there is his little tantrum about discovering how many liaisons there were with Cook (slamming kitchen draws and turning on the gas to torch a piece of paper). In this same kitchen-sink distemper he complains of the French girl and gets told, “I don’t have to tell you…”

   With nothing those unskilled laborers demonstrate being up to paying the dues they’ve unsuspectingly been embarrassed by, Malick introduces the only visitor to Austin who isn’t road kill. One of the encounters, during the first separation from Faye is a former girlfriend of BV’s, a musician attending to business who is immediately recognizable as not desperate. She gives him a long look being a preamble to discovering if his entertainment confines had matured to something else. Faye had just embarked, after being compelled to admit BV was a shiftless drifter, on that abortive contract with now patently entertainment-cynical Cook. Here was the other side of the coin. Her undemonstrative career satisfaction is palpable in face of BV’s cluelessness. On the heels of their recalling what didn’t work the first time, and her recognizing now nothing has changed, at the airport tarmac, where she will embark on a tour, she pitches the gambit that she’d give their partnership another try, suspending her busy concert schedule. A brief rainstorm adds to the implausibility of the direction she has mooted. “You miss me?” she asks. “Yeah,” is the ambiguous word BV uses as a pleasantry but she uses as spotting a visceral implacable foe. Then, as she knew he would, he declares, “Honestly, I can’t answer that…” [meaning, “I can’t stand living with someone whose honesty puts me to shame]. Then I gotta go,” she says, knowing—like the swimmer at the end of Knight of Cups—that there are bigger fish out there if the one in her face fails. (Just after this, Faye tells Cook, “I want out!” That she and BV are meant for each other—up at the farm, she exclaims, “I want that, too!” [the kitchen, not Cook’s kitchen, having become too hot]—brings to bear a safari on our part as to the paradoxical nightmare driving them to the simple life. Patti, imbuing Faye with her best shot, tells her, “I could play this chord all night!” (It was Faye, early on, who described her romance with BV, “We thought we could just roll and tumble, living from song to song, kiss to kiss…” Nibbling at the fringes, but dreary compromise in the wings. Her dad, concerned that she was no longer a constant and dutiful daughter but having entered the shark tank of show biz, tells her, “We just want you to be happy—a bit of a disconnect inasmuch she was having a taste of what could hardly be termed “happy.” The underground corridors she had stumbled into [like Alice] may deliver, were she tough enough, a delight of sorts; but “happily ever after” is far from what nature is about. “I thought I could do better than others.” BV tries on one of Cook’s expensive jackets. “You want to be me?” the multi-millionaire asks. “It’s [his fabulous property] all for sale… I don’t like it…” He asks, as they confront the dazzling yard on a lake, and an infinity pool, to take seriously the question, if he can rise to it, “What do you see?” BV replies, “The pool.” Cook corrects, “Stage! Show! It’s always a free fall…” He had also, as a kind of warning to the unwitting cynic, “The world wants to be deceived.” Dabbling in the big picture which Cook’s dangerous aura had prompted, an unprepared BV trots out the ingratiating cliché, “They say. ‘Follow the light.’ But where do you find it?”) 

    We do have here an affair of chords; and shared songs; and love. But in bragging that one chord is enough, Patti is embarrassingly showing her age. One chord repeated can set the stage by clearing away the sticky muck of mundane entertainments and happiness. It can activate a partnership as between someone like BV’s long-gone girlfriend, music and nature itself, the representatives of which make a flicker here, but only that. (The consensus that a sloppy, self-indulgent spray of incidents has been allowed to put in an appearance does not take into account the volatility [with its barracuda stresses] implicit in creative action, though seldom exposed where practitioners more self-deluded than Cook take satisfaction in being entertaining. Finding more rhetoric on the home stretch— “I played with the flame of life,” but only that—Faye shows herself to be a dutiful student of Patti. BV declares, in the same vein of compromised impressiveness, “I gotta go back and start again. Like a kid. I didn’t have the right heart in me. You’re the only one I loved.” Faye, in that same deceptive key, intones, “Mercy was a word I never thought I needed! You were looking for simplicity. I want the same!”

   There is a “simple” side of this destination; but, as the girl who could read BV like a (comic) book well knew, there is a lot more. A chord, a sensual impetus, brings to the song a menu of notes or activities (far surpassing mere aural statements). And it also includes a default step of sheer motion by which to refresh cloying trajectories. Fluency with silence (not the same thing as voice-over) is a must most of us find very difficult. The subsequent range of chords and harmonies and discords are innumerable. It includes bringing to light initiatives like rock and roll, more or less redolent of its uncanny sensual dynamics, its creative roots. All this is indescribably hard, indescribably necessary and indescribably enriching. Its interplay of such alertness could be described as song to song, far from Faye’s enumeration of easy listening.

   And yet, Malick has shaped this enigma in such a radical way that still more is required of a correspondent. The tenor of most of the films I’ve dealt with have been adequately coverable by descriptions rooted in the term dynamics. Here, Malick tells us, not in so many words, to deliver what it is about dynamics that makes it so bloody hard. Stemming from reflections beginning from two and a half millennia ago, and really catching fire about two centuries ago—and taken up, after its fashion, by quantum physics and avant-garde art—the notion that human sensibility is vitally instrumental in the essence of nature has nudged us from its mysterious outcomes; but its generator has proved to be rather forbidding. Trying to delineate that fuel source involves the paradox that nature itself comes about in two stages—a first endowing entities, including sentient entities, as materially passive; and a second (and decisive) spark, provided by sensibilities (like musicians) taking to heart the need to kick things up a bit. Many try to deliver that kick, but most make a mess of it, the dip to inertia being mercilessly in effect. That mess is the core of world history. Like the entire avant garde film world, the search is on, in Song to Song, for those few who are in for the long haul.