#rheumatologist recommends sending me to cognitive behavioral therapy anyway but what can they do about the beings when they are the root

[takeyourcyanide]

at times it seems they have given up on attempting to convince me that the ostensibles and the probables bled and feathered and blended. I am sure someone will continue. I have lived my life in perpetual confusion and wish for it to dissipate, but when much of it is purposeful they wish to sap the disorientation to my brain just as the beings do, transportation and evisceration. I find myself recently wary of specifics, their continuous vagueities lead me to treading carefully if at all. their skinsuits will never not appear as odd sacks of communicating and moving flesh to me - curations apparent. I want to write. I have had a questioning thought as of late, it seems one is treated with more sympathy when they are perceived as being “self aware” and or sees themself as living within not reality as well - they’re considered easier to deal with and by those who likely claim to support and have understanding. Simply an observation. /neu I am fine that curations view me as a particular thing, and perhaps I am that thing and that would be due to the beings, but what I know to be true is what I know to be true and if I’m considered argumentative and stubborn then so be it. they lack awareness in some and pretend to in others.