#reyloriffic fan fic

[reylo-riffic]

Chase Away His Demons

http://archiveofourown.org/works/13772121

Rating: T

Summary: Rey is pregnant and plans to tell Ben, but things don't go exactly as she thought they would. Jealousy ensues. HEA. Written for the RFFA Valentine's Exchange.

Ben stood off to the side, watching her. He always watched her. He liked to see her glow among her friends, wrap herself in their comfort and flourish. He watched her even as she slept beside him in the dead of night, her hair tangled on his pillow, bare limbs sprawled across him. She was radiant now, nearly blinding him with her smiles. She stood with the pilot and the traitor, laughing loudly, head thrown back and careless. Ben wondered if the overwhelming happiness he’d felt explode through the bond this morning stemmed from this. He hadn’t had a chance to ask her the cause of such a fluctuation in her emotions, but now he knew he didn’t have to.

Today she was wearing an outfit his mother must have picked – a beautiful flowing gown, dark blue that made her skin pale in comparison. His mother was grooming her to take a higher position in the Resistance, even though the war was essentially over. He’d dismantled the First Order when he defected, leaving only small pockets of strongholds throughout the galaxy. There wasn’t enough left to rebuild.

He was always amazed at how much her clothing influenced her. When she strolled through the hangers wearing her usual garb, her head was high, eyes focused and confident. She was sharp and determined. She was the woman plucked from the unforgiving sands of Jakku. Wearing a gown unbalanced all she knew. It drained away the confidence she wore like armor, her sharp edges softening in her uncertainty. He could see her studying everyone who looked at her, wondering if they could see what an imposter she was. He found her beautiful, but hated the flicker of doubt in her eyes.

The traitor waved to them suddenly, vanishing into the yawning hanger without looking back. Rey stood with the pilot still, merrily chatting. The golden boy leaned close and spoke softly. Rey’s face suddenly fell, eyes wide and slightly panicked. They spoke close to one another; closer than was strictly necessary, closer than he was comfortable with. He felt his hackles starting to rise.

The pilot leaned down and pressed his lips to Rey’s cheek.

Rage flared up in him so strong he was momentarily blinded. Rey jolted and Ben knew that he’d left the bond open, creating a highway for his anger. Her eyes wildly turned in his direction. Ben had already shoved off from the way, whirling away towards his ship.

Rey watched as Ben stalked down the hallway, scaring others away as his rage flooded her body.

“Everything okay?” Poe asked, eyes darting from Ben’s towering form to Rey’s pale face.

“Yes…no,” Rey sighed, straightening her back. “A misunderstanding.”

Poe thought for a moment. “Ah. I suppose he thinks we…”

“He always does.” Rey grumbled, heading off in search of the hulking mass of anger.

When she reached the hanger, his ship was gone. She moved towards the open bay, staring up into the sky and locating his ship immediately. Even from this distance she could hear the strain of the engines as he opened the throttle up in an attempt to flee. With her own anger Rey threw the bond wide open. She could see him hunched over the controls breathing heavily through his betrayal.

“Ben-“

“Get out of my head.”

“Not until we talk.” Rey protested learning long ago to not shy from his anger.

“Why don’t you go talk to that pilot scum?”

Rey knew that Ben disliked Poe – hated him in fact. His mother spoke fondly of the daring pilot often, and Rey knew that Ben craved the same praise she rained freely on a stranger. Poe was cheerful, dashing, and charming. In a single conversation he was able to make friends. Ben was the complete opposite: dark, mysterious, brooding. He only ever opened up to her; she knew even his mother wasn’t privy to some of the information he whispered in the dark. She’d caught him on more than one occasion glaring at them from across a room. Rey had often explained that they were only friends, but she could see the insecurity in his eyes beneath his seething hatred. He was constantly afraid that he was too broken for her.

“Ben, you’re being ridiculous, just come back so we can talk.”

“Does he know where you spent the night?” he hissed over his shoulder, eyes dark and cold. “Does he know where you spend every night?”

Rey stepped forward, her own anger flaring at the contempt in his voice.

“It’s hardly anyone’s business where I spend the night. I’ll have you know that yours is the only bed I’ve been in and I have no desire to climb into someone else’s.”

Rey knew that mentioning someone else was a mistake as his fury pulsed through her. She couldn’t help it when he tossed their intimacy in her face like that, not when they’d both found peace in one another’s arms. Physicality was difficult for them both after living a life without it. She still flinched if he touched her suddenly and took her off guard.

“Poe saw me leaving the Infirmary this morning and wanted to make sure I was okay, that’s all there is to it,” Rey insisted. “He’s simply being a friend. Not everyone is out to drag me away from you.”

“Why were you at the Infirmary?” he questioned, carefully watching her from the corner of his eyes.

Rey knew that the only thing that could override his jealousy was his worry for her. Every time she so much as coughed he was a breath away from hauling her to a medical droid.

Rey shuffled forward, trying to keep her hands steady. This was not how she thought this moment would go. She imagined them sequestered away beneath their sheets, listening to his strong heartbeat that fell in tandem with her own. She’d be halfway asleep as he threaded his fingers through her long hair. In a warm whisper she’d tell him all.

“I’m pregnant.” She spoke softly because she wasn’t sure if she could speak without her voice cracking. “I hope I don’t have to tell you that you’re the father.”

For a long moment he was silent, the color rushing from his face.

“You’re…what?”

Rey straightened her shoulders, taking a deep breath.

“You land that ship back on this planet right now, Ben Solo, or so help me I will hunt you across the galaxy.”

The bond was abruptly cut off. Rey stood in the sunlight, blinking. He was gone. Certainly that hadn’t been the way she wanted to tell him of her pregnancy, but there was no other way she could have done it. He’d have vanished and she would be left with small blips of him through the bond, blips that would be too small for her to tell him. The only reason she broke through to him now was because his emotions were erratic and he didn’t have the focus he needed to successfully block her.

But now, now he was…

Rey watched as the small dot in the sky arched around suddenly, turning back towards the hanger. She crossed her arms, her bone-numbing relief causing her anger to intensify. Perhaps one day they could be normal. Every aspect of their relationship up to and including now was fraught with drama. He was emotionally unstable and she dealt with it, but if they were going to work things out, his jealously would need to be put to bed.

The ship landed heavily in front of her, whipping the material of her gown around her legs. Rey knew he’d ignored the landing sequence. The ramp dropped down and he was already striding down it and towards her. Rey glared at him, letting him see just how displeased she was with him. Ben didn’t seem to notice, or if he did, he didn’t care. He kept striding towards her until he was suddenly there, one hand tangled in her carefully pinned hair, dragging her towards him.

His mouth was hot and desperate on her own and Rey was momentarily shocked.

It was no secret around the base that they were together. They’d been caught once too often sneaking from each other’s rooms at the crack of dawn to tell people otherwise. Eventually Rey moved her things into his room. While they all knew her and Ben shared quarters, you’d never guess by how they acted around each other. They were always careful to remain neutral, speaking to one another only when they had to, nodding politely when they passed each other in the hall. Ben always told her he was half a second away from dragging her into an empty closet, but Rey insisted on professionalism. She was a scavenger who came from the desserts of Jakku and now she was General Organa’s right hand. She’d not have people think she got there by sleeping with the General’s son, though the entire base was aware of their relationship (she liked to pretend otherwise).

Now he kissed her for the first time in public, Rey couldn’t help but melt against him. Whenever he kissed her Rey felt her muscles relaxing, even in the confines of their room. The tenderness he felt towards her leeched through his touch and into her body. It was difficult for him to voice his feelings, but the bond allowed Rey to feel how much he loved her. It still brought tears to her eyes than this man who’d spent most of his life crushed beneath hatred and anger was capable of caring so deeply for her. She let her anger abate, pushing it aside to deal with later, away from the prying eyes of their companions.

“You know,” Rey murmured, pulling away from him just enough to look in his eyes. “We need to work on your jealousy. I don’t want to have to constantly assure you that I’m not interested in anyone else.”

His eyes were wild, darting over her face erratically. She knew he was deaf at that moment. The wonder of her pregnancy was still blaring inside his head. Rey wrapped her arms around his shoulders, drawing him down to her so she could kiss him again.

By the end of the week they were married – he insisted. Only his mother and her friends were there in the small ceremony that was done in the bright moonlight and far away from the base. At night, wrapped in one another, Ben’s large hand was splayed across her stomach, both dreaming of the life growing inside her.

Two months later they left the base and moved to Naboo. Ben had told Rey that his mother had spoken of a house that his grandmother had on a planet where life thrived. He wanted their child raised in a place where the horrors of war wouldn’t touch them. He wanted to pour the love they had always wanted from their own parents into their baby. Ben often spoke quietly about wanting to see his child grow up, unlike his own father who was constantly away.

Near the end of her pregnancy, Rey found Ben standing near an open window, having only tugged on a pair of pants. She carefully hauled herself from the bed and waddled to him.

“Ben?” she murmured sleepily, placing a hand on his muscled back.

“Hmm?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” His deep voice was rough with lack of sleep. “I just can’t help but wonder…”

Rey wrapped her arms around his waist, forcing his arms to come around her. She didn’t push him to speak.

“What if she’s like me?” Ben’s voice was strained and Rey knew he’d spent months worrying about this. “What if she follows in my footsteps?”

“We’ll watch over her,” Rey assured him. “We can teach her right from wrong, Ben, but we can’t force her to follow a set path. She’ll make her own choices when the time comes, and hopefully we can guide her in the right direction.”

“He came after me when I was young and vulnerable, Rey,” he murmured into her hair. “Neither of my parents even suspected. I don’t want her to be preyed upon. I don’t want that venom poured into her when she’s so young and innocent.”

“Your parents may not have been there for you, but we’ll be there for her. We’ll provide a stable home and nurture her so she knows she can rely on us. We know what to watch for, and we’ll be ready if it comes.”

Ben sighed into her hair before pressing his lips to her forehead. Rey could feel the tension draining from him as she gently steered him back to bed. He fell asleep wrapped around her, hand placed protectively across their unborn child. Rey remained awake for a while longer, trailing her fingers across the back of his hand, listening to his deep and even breaths. She knew she should sleep, but Rey understood that soon the baby would be here – she’d seen it in a vision.

Hours later Rey went into labor, much to the panic of her half-asleep husband who had just vaulted from bed, saber in hand. Rey bit her lip to stop from laughing. There he stood half naked, hair wild, and ready to smite an unseen foe as the pain of her contraction slipped through the bond.

“Darling,” Rey spoke calmly, trying to sooth him. “Everything is fine, I promise, just put the saber down before you hurt yourself.”

“You’re hurt, I can feel…”

“Yes,” Rey said rubbing her stomach and carefully propping herself up on a mountain of pillows. “That’s what happens when you go into labor, so perhaps you could get dressed and ask the nurse to come here.”

If possible his face paled even more. She watched as he hastily donned his robe and dashed from the room, yelling at a passing staff member to summon the nurse. In moments he was back beside her, an endless stream of worries pouring from his mouth.

“Why aren’t you as panicked as I am?” he finally asked.

“You’re panicking enough for the both of us.” She responded breathlessly while patting his hand.

Hours seemed to slip by, with Ben’s moods swinging like a pendulum. At moments he was angry at the nurse, others he was leaning over her whispering comforting words while smoothing her hair away from her forehead.

Just as night fell Rey gave her last cry as their daughter finally made her way into the world. The small bundle was placed in her arms as her husband crawled in beside her, peering down.

“She’s beautiful, Ben.” Rey murmured through the lump in her throat.

They hadn’t decided on a name – the arguments would get so bad they wouldn’t speak for days on end. A compromise was arranged: they wouldn’t name her until at least a day after she was born, so they would be sure.

Rey tucked her head against his shoulder, staring down at the large intelligent brown eyes peering up.

“She’s so small.” Ben breathed, running the pad of his finger along her head.

Rey laughed, leaning up to press a kiss to his rough cheek (he hadn’t shaved that morning). The love flowing through the bond nearly choked them. Rey sighed heavily against his throat before looking back at their daughter. The words seemed foreign. She’d always been an abstract thought in Rey’s mind, and now here she was, tangible and absolutely wonderful.

“I love you.” Ben’s voice was thick with emotion.

Rey turned her face up towards his, head resting on his shoulder. He didn’t like crying in front of her, but at this second he was so wrapped up in the moment he didn’t seem to care.

“I love you too.” Rey responded warmly, sending her feelings through the bond.

He turned his gaze away from their daughter and smiled down at the woman who had dragged his soul back from the dark. Her answering smile was enough to chase away his demons.

Ben lowered his face, pressing his lips to hers, knowing that he had everything he’d ever need, right here in his arms.

[reylo-riffic]

Rekindled - A Reylo Fic

So this is my first published Reylo fanfiction!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13223187

Rating: G

Summary: The Force bond flares back to life between Kylo/Ben and Rey after Crait.

Their connection had been fried when the lightsaber was wrenched in two. Rey had come to first, staring down at an unconscious Ben Solo. Kylo Ren, she corrected herself with a sigh. It was incredible fighting alongside him.

They were beautiful.

They were flawless.

They were balanced.

When the chaos ended around them, a new tension grew between them. Rey was utterly devastated as she saw Ben Solo vanish beneath the crushing force of Kylo Ren. She’d begged, pathetically crying and wearing her emotions on her sleeve.

She was weak.

He knew it.

He’d asked softly, gently and with a bit of desperation, but Rey couldn’t follow. In a moment of transparency, he’d shown his cards. He cared. For her. Still, she could not stay.

Now she traveled alone with only Chewy to help her pilot the Millennium Falcon. They were quiet most of the time. Rey suspected that he could feel her melancholy tainting every second of every minute of every day. For a fleeting moment she had belonged. For the first time in her life Rey felt her inner turmoil ebbing, settling down comfortably, and in a flash he’d snatched away her peace.

She saw him for a moment, kneeling before her as she helped load the last of the Resistance on the Falcon. Rey knew better than to speak. She knew better than to reach for him. You can’t reach for someone who doesn’t want to be found. They shared a long look.

I tried. The rest is up to you.

Rey lifted the ramp, closing him out.

They rejoiced on the Falcon – a narrow escape for the dregs of the Resistance – but Rey kept quiet. Han was gone. Luke was gone. Ben was…misplaced. Rey could see him still swimming in those dark eyes she’d grown to know so well. There was still Light in him. There would always be Light in him.

At night, in the darkness of the Falcon, Rey would listen to Chewy snore. She didn’t get much sleep anymore. She was constantly on edge. Rey slept better when they were soaring through space. The hum of the engines never failed to soothe her. Rey sighed and closed her eyes, settling down for what she knew would be a restless night.

His identity was lost in a miasma of confusion. The people who served him called him the Supreme Leader. Hux called him Ren when he forgot Snoke was long gone.

No one called him Ben. Not anymore.

Kylo Ren was not eloquent – he never had been, even during his childhood. He was quiet and withdrawn, talking only when necessary. It would account for his botched offer after he’d slayed his Master.

His adrenaline has been coursing like fire through his veins, stunting his thoughts and curtailing his speech. He wanted to say so much to her, so many things in such a short time, that a mess spilled from him. Kylo saw her grief as he held his hand out to her. He didn’t want to be alone anymore. Neither did she. He tried to explain, but nothing was making sense. Her broken countenance was driving him further into madness. He had to make her understand! But it was pointless – the damage was done.

Rey was gone.

He awoke alone. For a brief moment he felt nothing. He thought nothing. He tried to throw a barrier up to stop the memories from flooding in but he couldn’t. Stumbling to his feet rage flared in his chest and into his throat. He hissed from between clenched teeth, dumping Snoke’s murder on her doorstep. Kylo had been angry with everything. Nothing was going the way it should.

He’d threatened to kill her when fighting with Luke on Crait. It was spoken out of madness driven by rage and nothing more. Perhaps long ago, before Starkiller he could have killed her. Back then he hadn’t understood the connection between them, hadn’t craved it as he did now. He saw her as a threat to be neutralized.

The forest had changed everything.

He could feel the power surging through her – and she was completely unaware of how to wield it.

She was incredible.

She was awe-inspiring.

She’d dug her way beneath his meticulously constructed armor and now he couldn’t dig her out.

He hadn’t seen her since Crait. He hadn’t wanted to, if he was honest with himself. How could he look at her after her rejection? After his humiliation.

She was still there. A few moments she would let her guard down and he could hear what she heard. As quick as these moments would occur, they’d vanish. The second the sounds around him faded, melding with sounds from her world, his head would snap up, eyes devouring his surrounding in an attempt to find her.

It would be months after Crait before he saw her again.

He’d been sitting quietly in the dark of his room, thinking of her, always of her. The quiet buzz from the electronics faded suddenly, like a blanket was wrapping around his body. For a moment he held himself immobile, afraid to break the connection. Lifting his eyes, he saw her, curled up in his bed, sound asleep. Logically he knew that she wasn’t there in his bunk, but asleep he assumed, on the Falcon.

Gingerly he climbed to his feet, eyes locked on her, afraid she would vanish before his eyes. He knew that the bond had connected them not because Rey wished it, but because she’d relaxed enough in sleep to let her guard down.

He moved to her, stealthily yet buzzing with energy.

Dropping to his knees, Kylo reached out and let his fingers brush against her cheek. He’d wanted to wipe her tears away in the hut when she told him about her vision, her lack of answers, her burning questions about her parents. Rey had let herself go. She’d let him witness her suffering.

Her skin was warm. Even in the dark room he could see her freckles, earned beneath the unforgiving sun of Jakku, now jumping off her face that had paled beneath her sleepless nights.

“Rey.”

Rey.

Rey jerked awake, sitting up in bed.

The room was empty, but she could still sense his lingering presence.

Rey could feel the whisper of his fingers along her cheek.

A week later Kylo was startled awake by a sob. He didn’t think much of it – how many times had he cried himself awake in the dead of night?

It wasn’t until he heard another muffled sniffle that he became aware that the sound hadn’t come from him after all. For a moment he closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. He was conscious of the weight beside him and the small amount of warmth that was originating from another source. Kylo was nearly trembling with relief. They hadn’t been completely separated after all. It was debilitating knowing that he wasn’t alone – not anymore.

At first he turned his head slowly towards the wall of his room, afraid that if he made a sudden movement she’d scurry away and the connection would shatter.

Her hair was down, spread wildly across her pillow. His pillow. He wasn’t quite sure anymore. Regardless, the tangled mess indicated that she’d been seeking sleep unsuccessfully for hours. She had a pile of blankets atop her, burrowing down deep. Space was cold and she’d lived her entire life in heat that most people would find unbearable. Her thin form shook with her stifled sobs. He knew that wherever she was sleeping for the night, someone was near. If she was alone, she wouldn’t try to quiet herself. Kylo would have left her alone and tried to disengage from her, but he recognized the desperation in her cries. It was the same desperation he felt after fleeing from Luke. It was loneliness. It was the type of loneliness that yawned before a person like a chasm of darkness, surging up to swallow them whole. He’d been there. He was there.

Carefully he reached across his body, taking soft shallow breaths, until his hand brushed along her arm. Even if she shoved him away she would know that she wasn’t alone in this moment. He tried to send his own feeling through the bond. He tried to tell her that he was experiencing the same sense of loss that she was.

“Sh,” he breathed into the darkness. “I’m here.”

Rey’s crying abruptly halted and Kylo felt her tense beneath his hand. He held his breath, waiting. This was the moment. Either she’d accept that their connection was back or she’d thrust him unceremoniously out and into his cold room. A soft croak reached his ears.

“Ben?”

He squeezed her arm gently in affirmation. Again she was crying, a single sob of relief. Without a word he turned toward her, curling his arms around her and drawing her form back against his. Rey was boneless. He could feel her quaking with barely contained stress. Her fingers hurried along his arms, searching until they found his. He held her hand in the dark, warming her icy digits. They remained awake long into the night. Not a word was exchanged in the dark. Instead, they both savored the warmth that chased the desolation away.

The next morning Ben was slowly pulled awake by a feather-light touch dancing across his face. Opening his eyes barely enough to see, he found Rey had turned towards him during the night. Now she was sleepily watching her own finger trace the scar she’d left during their first battle. The medical droids had done well stitching him up once he was healed enough. He recalled that as the moment he first connected with her - the moment when his life had altered completely.

Rey lifted her gaze to meet his.

He could tell that her torture had abated during the night. Between them existed balance and peace where before there was anger and hurt. They would always be wary around one another, until they reached the necessary crossroads that would either join their paths or divide them forever. Until then, they could be confident that neither was alone any longer.

Rey smiled languidly at him, her thumb tracing along his cheekbone. He sighed deeply, content.

Even when she vanished a moment later he could feel the warmth on his cheek and sense her swimming in the back of his mind, where she would remain for as long as he lived.

[reylo-riffic]

jamiegallantworld replied to your post “Prompt!”

I posted this on my page yesterday. Thank you taking ideas!! "Kylo/Ben appears through the force bond as Rey is bathing in a hot spring. She hides behind a rock and proceeds to have a full conversation with him. It isn’t until the end when he asks if she’s hiding behind something…because he can’t see the rock, just her….all of her…..ahhhh"

I wrote a little drabble based on @jamiegallantworld‘s prompt. I hope you enjoy!

Title: The Rock

Rating: T

Link:

http://archiveofourown.org/works/13270899

Rey stumbled from the Falcon with her bathing supplies hastily stuffed into her bag. She hadn’t bathed in…well, she’d lost track. The roar of a waterfall drew her forward, through the thick foliage that would lend her some privacy.

Bathing was a novel event for her now. Jakku had barely enough water to drink, let alone bathe. Being submerged in water never failed to awe her. Whenever she and Chewy stopped long enough to resupply, Rey searched for a place she could leisurely spend hours until he made impatient sounds in the distance, calling her back, her skin wrinkled but clean.

They were only stopping for a moment – Chewy had some mechanical fixes to make before they reentered space – so Rey would be pressed for time. She quickly stripped and jumped into the icy water. Rey finished her ablutions as quickly as possible so she’d have time to sit on the bank and enjoy the scenery. The green planets were always her favorite – a stark contrast to the never-ending sand landscape she’d grown up with.

Standing on the bank, Rey dried herself while watching some river creatures playfully jump into the water. It was then that she felt the familiar presence behind her. She turned, just in time to see Ben – eyes wide, face flushed, and lips parted in shock and embarrassment. Rey quickly scrambled to cover herself with the towel before darting away to duck behind a rock, clutching the fabric to her body.

“What are you doing here?” she barked, her voice sounding harsher than she meant due to her mortification.

Ben cleared his throat, his voice brittle. “I don’t know.”

“Well, go away.”

“You know I don’t nor can I control what the Force does.” He answered in a tone that suggested he was rolling his eyes.

“I’m busy.” Rey responded pointedly, wanting to be left alone.

“Yes, and I was in the middle of a meeting.” Ben snapped back.

“Planning another attack on the Resistance?” Rey accused coldly.

There was a long silence and Rey thought he had vanished. Before she could peek around the rock at him, his empty voice reached her.

“You gave me no choice.”

Rey knew there was a litany of accusations in those few words. She knew because she often wondered if she’d taken his hand as he’d asked that maybe lives would be spared. Rey felt guilty for each person who fell beneath the hand of the First Order since Snoke’s slaying. Perhaps if she’d agreed to join him, she could have put a stop to the insidious nature of the ever-moving army. How many friends would have been saved? How many families wouldn’t have been ravaged by war?

“I couldn’t, Ben. Yours is a path I can’t follow. You knew that before you asked.” Rey answered softly running her fingernails down the face of the rock she still hid behind, clutching the towel to her body with her free hand.

“Did you ever stop to think about what I truly offered you?” he responded with just a hint of frustration coloring his tone.

Rey’s brow furrowed in confusion, but she had no response. Often she replayed those fateful moments in her mind. The words echoed constantly and images of his piercing yet haunted eyes were unrelenting, pilfering sleep from her more often than not.

“What are you hiding behind?”

Rey blinked a few times, startled by the sudden turn in conversation.

“A rock.”

“Hmm. That’s strange.”

“What is?” Rey asked, wanting to glance around the boulder but forcing her feet to remain still.

“I don’t see the rock. All I can see is you.”

By the time his words filtered into her buzzing mind, he was gone. Rey let her head drop forward until her forehead rested on the chilly stone in an effort to cool her burning face.

[reylo-riffic]

In Life and Death

http://archiveofourown.org/works/13347198/chapters/30558321

Rating: T

Summary: Rey returns to Jakku to face her past and future.

So this has taken me a lot longer than I thought, but I’m finally done!

With permission from @magnatolvan to use this post, which I loved.

If you asked anyone about Rey, they inevitably spoke of her bravery. Those who fought beside her spoke to their enthralled audiences of how she rushed headfirst into battle, lightsaber at the ready, a battle cry on her lips. She’d become something of a legend among those who were a part of the war, be it the Resistance or First Order. Rey was capable of facing down an entire army, yet she was wholly incapable of facing her own demons.

Rey chewed on her lip as she peered out of the Millennium Falcon’s cockpit, the engines humming idly after she aborted the atmosphere entry sequence.

The war ended over a year ago. The First Order was strong and relentless and Rey was often forced to question whether they would survive or not. It had taken a month for the entire organization to come crumbling down. Rey knew by the silent bond he’d been involved - there was no other explanation for the total and abrupt destruction of such a vast enterprise. She’d felt the connection thin until one morning she could no longer feel him. That moment nearly coincided with the fall of the First Order.

This moment, however, had been years in the making. Rey had spent her entire life idealizing those who abandoned her, staring up into the beautiful blue sky after scavenging for hours in the blistering sun, watching ships take off and longing to climb aboard one. Rey watched, knowing she had to remain behind. She had to. If she wandered all over the galaxy, how would they find her?

Jakku. Her home.

When referencing Jakku as her home, Rey only ever saw it as the place she’d spent most of her life. That’s the term people used when explaining where they were from, yet she could see in their eyes that most were proud of where they began. She’d heard dozens of people glowing with pride as they talked of their childhoods. Rey never said a word, lingering in the background. She knew all of the nooks and crannies of Jakku, understood the seedy underbelly of the trading posts – she recognized that people were commodities just as her packets of rations were. Rey understood that she hadn’t had a real childhood. Children didn’t toil beneath the excruciating heat until the sun set, hoping they’d collected enough junk to survive another day.

Leaning over with a deep breath, Rey began to entry sequence once more. Her eyes flickered momentarily to the empty co-pilot seat. She’d asked Chewy to stay behind for this trip. He grumbled, but eventually relented.

The blinding sun was all Rey could see as the ship shuttered and groaned beneath the pressure. When the sandy landscape came into view, Rey’s heart jumped into her throat. It was amazing that after so many years away she could recall every detail of the place, down to how the sand chaffed her skin after working its way through layers of clothing.

There was a smattering of outposts across the desert and Rey made her way to Nimma. She’d always traded there for as unfair as Unkar was, the others were even worse.

Rey landed close to the trading post – closer than the guards liked, based on their angry growls directed at her as she stepped from the Falcon. She simply allowed her robes to fall open, letting the glare of the sun strike the hilt of her saber. Abruptly the snarls ended, feet shifted unsurely in the sand, wariness pulsed from them in waves.

Recognition washed over those who were huddled beneath tents, scrubbing parts until their fingers bled, trying to make them shine in an attempt to gain half a ration more. Rey’s eyes brushed across their worn faces, sensing their crushed spirits. One face stopped her for a fraction of a second. And old woman – the same old woman she’d studied the day BB-8 rolled into her life sat there, unabashedly staring at her. The day Rey had first noticed her; she could remember the motions of her brush stopping as she studied the woman’s wrinkles, wondering if that would be her. Would she spend her life here as this woman had? Would she still be working when her bones ached and her spine bent?

The woman was nearly a skeleton now. Rey speculated how she could have survived this long with the amount of work one had to do simply to eat. Without a doubt Rey knew the woman was nearing the end of her life. The elderly, young, and ill never did flourish there. It wasn’t possible. If you were unable to scavenge, you were unable to live.

All work had stopped as fierce whispers and tittering rumbled beneath the soiled canvas flapping in the hot breeze. Rey watched as word of her return swept down the line. She had planned to stride into Plutt’s with her head held high, demands flowing powerfully from her lips but the whispers would reach him in a few moments. Rey had spent her whole life going to him. This time, he would come to her.

As if he’d been prompted, Unkar Plutt’s hulking body exploded from his abode, slimy and unwashed as always. Rey found herself sneering at the mess, resentful that she once had to grovel to such a being. He was barreling towards her, raging and gesturing towards the Millennium Falcon. Rey ignored him. Her fury was building. With a confidence she’d never displayed before while in his presence, Rey marched forward, yanking her lightsaber free. The purple blade ignited with a screech, settling at the level of his flat nose. Plutt was forced to skid to a stop lest he impale himself.

Rey was silent. She wanted him to see her, see the girl he had control over since she was old enough to scavenge. She wanted him to know that she had the power now, not him and his leering smile and skin-crawling suggestions. Rey needed him to see the rage in her eyes. She needed him to understand that she could cut him down with a flick of her wrist and not a grain of remorse would she feel. Rey wanted him to remember this exact moment for the rest of his miserable life.

Time crawled to a halt for just a second. The galaxy seemed to draw a breath and hold it.

A quiver. A flash in a pair of beady eyes. Fear.

Rey wanted to smirk when she saw him tremble, but her anger was too great.

“What were their names?” she spoke softly but her voice was hard as steel.

For the first time in her life Rey witnessed Plutt at a loss for words. She suspected none of his workers had ever spoken to him with such force before. If they had, he would have withheld rations for at least a week.

“Their names!” Rey demanded.

“Nineva and Tucrola.” His voice wobbled.  

“Their graves.”

His eyes flickered to her lightsaber for a brief moment before he met her gaze again. The hum of the blade sounded like a roar between them. Rey twisted her wrist slightly, a thinly veiled threat.

“The pauper’s graveyard.”

Rey fixed him with a long stare before deactivating her lightsaber and deliberately returning it to her belt. She turned but didn’t step forward.

“You will return to your post and give each person who approaches you enough rations to eat three meals a day for a week, no matter what they trade in.”

A pause.

“I will return to my post and give each person who approaches me enough rations to eat three meals a day for a week, no matter what they trade in.” Plutt responded absently.

Without a glance Rey headed into the heat of Jakku for what she hoped was the final time.

 The pauper’s graveyard was deliberately placed in the middle of nowhere and away from foot traffic. When Unkar assumed power over Niima, he forced people to bury the dead where the gazes of his scavengers would not see them. He maintained that seeing the dead lowered moral and without moral, his sales suffered. Rey had often watched groups lugging cloth-wrapped bodies over a ridge and vanishing over the other side. A few times she’d journeyed in the direction of the graveyard. One time she found herself in the middle – having cut across the sand as a short cut to the wreck she was stripping, Rey was suddenly standing in a sea of eclectic objects protruding from the sand. It was only when she saw symbols etched crudely into a piece of scrap metal that she realized where she was standing.

She’d never gone back.

Rey knew from her earliest days scavenging that her future was beneath that sand. If no one came for her, strangers would inter her body in the unforgiving grit. No one would miss her. No one would mourn her.

The heat was oppressive as she journeyed across the sand, feeling the intrusive grains in her shoes already. People stared at her. A few let their carefully gathered treasures fall limp into the sand. Rey didn’t return their gazes. She was focused on the steadily building tension in her chest. What would she find when she reached the crest of the sand ridge looming in the distance? The hot breeze whipped at her robes – an illogical choice, she knew, but her robes were akin to battle armor. Rarely did she move about without them.

When she reached the crest of the ridge, Rey stopped for a moment, gathering herself. It had been years since she’d seen the graveyard and the few times she did see it, Rey barely registered the details. Death was a way of life here. Every day people were buried in the sand, some directly where they fell if their comrades couldn’t carry them back. Death wasn’t a shock to anyone at Niima Outpost. It would have been impossible to carry on if they stopped to mourn each of their fellow workers – they would never stop mourning.

Drawing her shoulders back with a deep breath, Rey stepped up onto the ridge.

For a moment she couldn’t see anything – a large gust of wind had kicked up sand and a hazy cloud hung in the air. The moment the wind died, the sand skittered back to the ground.

The enormity of the graveyard stunned her. She hadn’t remembered how expansive it was. She hadn’t realized so many had lost their lives in such brutal conditions.

Her parents.

Rey descended the ridge, her feet sinking into the sand as she struggled into the valley. Halfway down a voice in her head told her this was a useless exercise. The odds of their graves being marked, let alone still there were astronomical.

When the landscape leveled out, Rey determinedly stepped forward. She’d avoided coming here, of thinking of her parents for years on end. Even after the throne room, when she’d admitted out loud what she’d always dreaded, Rey still didn’t think about them. It was too hard to admit you were unwanted by the people who should have loved you most. It was too ugly a thing to face. Instead she threw herself into her work, into her friendships. She was not leaving this godforsaken planet until she had some answers to the questions that plagued her for years.

She’d started methodically – walking up and down definitive rows – in an effort to stem the rising panic and hopelessness. Markers were knocked down, buried, forgotten. People buried atop people. The sand kicked up once more, this time into her eyes that were already blurry with tears.

Frantically she searched now, looking but not seeing, already knowing.

Both in life and death, they were lost.

With a sob born from the wreckage of her lingering hope, Rey fell, her hands and knees plunging into the burning sand. She let the tears come, finally. Years of pain and loneliness that she’d carefully packed away burst through, and Rey let her emotions rule. She knew that finding their graves would mean little. They had never come for her. She would never meet them. What she wanted was closure. She wanted a place that she could point and say “There. There are my parents.” Now she had nothing. The sands of Jakku had stripped her of everything again.

Rey hadn’t heard him, but she knew Ben was there even before he wrapped his arms around her, drawing her against his broad chest. She fell against him, unable to support herself any longer. Her entire life came down to this moment and the realization that the road ended here. In the back of her mind was always the nagging thought of her parents. Even when she was on missions for the Resistance, she never lost sight of the fact she’d have to look for them. Her missions were over. Her questions unanswered.

What was she to do now?

Ben was whispering softly into her hair, apologies, too many to count. They poured from his lips, choking him, her name punctuating his pleas. She heard him ask for forgiveness for his behavior after Snoke, apologize for not realizing what he needed sooner. He was sorry for her parents, what they had done to her and how even in death they could still hurt her.  Rey let him speak – his voice was a balm to her frayed nerves.

She wasn’t sure how long they sat there, slumped in the sand together. Rey had closed her eyes, listening to the wild rhythm of his heart slow to a confident and steady thump beneath her ear, in tandem with her own.

“I thought you closed the bond.” Rey croaked, still amazed at his solidity against her cheek.

“This isn’t the bond.”  

Rey opened her eyes even though her shock momentarily blinded her. Carefully she pulled away so she could see his face. She had to see his eyes. Ben’s voice was always careful. Contained. Restrained. His eyes couldn’t lie. It was one of the first things she discovered through their bond.

She learned to trust his eyes over his words.

Rey slid her hand upward until the coarse pads of her fingers traced the column of his throat. He didn’t utter a word of explanation, but Rey knew all from his eyes and small pulses of images he fed through the bond. He’d placed a watcher on Jakku who was to inform him the moment the Falcon was spotted and if Rey was present. Ben had been patrolling nearby planets, keeping the peace quietly and unobtrusively.

I knew you would come back, when you were ready. I didn’t want you to face it alone.

Rey’s eyes filled with tears again. She was touched that he waited for her to come to terms with what must be done. He had made sure to remain near so he could be there when she needed him. Rey wiped her eyes on her sleeves.

Ben stood fluidly and offered his hand.

Ungloved.

Rey knew their thoughts ran parallel. The last time he’d offered his hand, he’d worn a glove. A simple article of clothing that spoke volumes, symbolizing the part of him that wasn’t quite ready to relinquish his newly found power.

Now he stood offering his hand once more. There was no malice in the gesture, no enticing her to join him. It was a gesture that meant nothing, yet everything. The sense of belonging began to grow again just as it did when their bond first opened. This time was different. They were on the same page now, acknowledging that they were both Light and Dark, unwilling to force the other to choose.

Rey reached up and let her small hand vanish in his grasp.

When she stood, Rey led him to a familiar path. He saw nothing but sand, but for Rey, each dune was a marker. Side by side they walked in the unceasing heat, hands clasped even though they were slick with perspiration. Her eyes flickered to his profile for a moment before sliding away as the AT-AT came into view.

The metal body looked exactly as it always had after a long day.

Rey released his hand as she ducked inside, remembering all the times she cracked her head against the opening when she started to grow. Ben has to contort himself even farther to fit.

When first setting out on her own, Rey purposely wandered far off the beaten track in search of a place to live. The farther away she was, the less likely someone would try and rob her when she was away. This accounted for the fact that her hovel remained just as she left it so many years ago. Sand had to be brushed off of everything.

Her eyes tracked him in the dim light. He turned slowly, taking in every detail. His attention was immediately drawn to the tally marks. There are thousands of little etchings littering the surface of the metal wall which he was now tracing with his pale finger. Rey briefly reflected on how useless the task was, but how each time she worked another tally onto the wall, a small bit of hope flared inside her. She swallowed deeply and looked away.

“I’ve never had anyone else here,” she spoke softly into the echoing hull. “It was just me.”

“It’s just us now.” He responds just as softly.

When he turns around to look at her, she’s already there, wrapping her arms around him.

 They crawled into her hammock, the one she painstakingly weaved when she first found the AT-AT. It kept her safely off the ground and out of the constantly collecting sand. He hadn’t objected when she’d asked for his shoes, sticking them up high with her own and away from the deadly creatures that emerged from the sand once the light faded. They were wrapped up in one another tightly enough that neither cared the small hammock was made to fit one person comfortably.

Night came fast and soon the heat of the day was replaced by a chill Rey never acclimated to. Ben wrapped them in his robes and Rey buried her face against his chest, soothed by the motion of his hands running along her back.

It was always a struggle to sleep at night, no matter how exhausted she way. There was always a constant danger lingering – both from scavengers and the environment. Even when she did sleep, it wasn’t anything but a light doze. The smallest sound would wake her. On this night, her last night on Jakku, Rey slept deeply. The AT-AT creaked in the heavy desert winds, but Rey never once stirred in Ben’s arms.

When she awoke the next morning, Rey was disoriented. For half a second she believed yesterday was a dream, but Ben’s solid form beside her banished the thought from her mind.

They gingerly crawled from the hammock, stretching as much as they could in the confined space. As Ben slid his robes back on, Rey peered around.

She’d planned to come back to this metal beast, even as she fled the First Order with Finn. Rey often wondered about her belongings – worthless to other people but priceless to her. The small flower. The rebel pilot. She’d wanted these things back. They were the only material belongings she had. Rey found the helmet she used to wear when pretending she was anywhere but here, and scooped in her possessions. Ben watched.

They departed together, hand in hand, just as they arrived. Rey stopped for just a moment, silently bidding goodbye to the hunk of junk she used to live in, where her speeder was still stored (she checked). The trek to Niima Outpost was extensive and strenuous, but Rey was ready.

Silence fell through the tents and meager marketplace when they entered. Neither noticed nor cared. The Falcon loomed in the distance, beckoning them away.

While heading towards the ship, Rey paused and released Ben’s hand. She moved into a tent where a family was carefully tending to their early morning haul, polishing each piece determinedly. They were staring at her, but Rey only had eyes for the small girl. Large brown eyes peered up with something akin to worship. Rey lowered herself until she was eye to eye with the young girl who was leaning away, uncertain.

Rey extended the helmet to her.

The girls face broke out into a grin, her little hands eagerly accepting the gift. Rey smiled and ruffled her hair before standing and striding back to where Ben stood.

Let the past die. Kill it if you have to.

Rey stepped into his arms, lifting her face to his. The bond abruptly flooded between them and she could feel how tightly he’d been holding on. Their kiss wasn’t an all-consuming inferno that Rey always expected, secretly longed for, and knew was just on the horizon. The long drawn out embrace was one of promise. Commitment. They were terminating this chapter of their lives, sealing it closed and storing it away.

Their future began in that moment. Their future began with each other.

[reylo-riffic]

Flickering Light

http://archiveofourown.org/works/13779945

Rating: T

Summary: Rey and Kylo meet once more after the throne room, but this isn't the first time they've run into each other. Written for the RFFA Valentine's Gift Exchange.

Kylo could feel her in this crowded market place where his men stormed, leaving destruction in their wake. He stood still in the stifling heat, his men swarming around him like ants. He reached out through their bond for her familiar signature. She was crushed beneath floorboards, having found a small crawl space. Her eyes briefly met his. Fear. She wanted to run, but in doing so she’d give herself away.

Like a predator he stalked forward.

The building was a shack on the outside of town, barely standing, yet it was searched. He’d ordered no stone left unturned. Kylo parted the sea of white easily. No one stood in his way. They hadn’t before, they certainly didn’t now.

“Get out,” he demanded when he reached the threshold. “All of you.”

He remained still as the men quickly followed orders. When he was sure they were gone, he let the thin door close behind him.

“Rey.”

The worn trapdoor was tossed open and the thin woman scrambled to her feet, saber clutched in her hand. Her breath came in short gasps, feet planted and ready for battle. She was a cornered animal, ready to rip him to shreds.

He never admired her more.

“You’ve healed?” Kylo asked, gesturing with his chin to her torso.

“No thanks to you.” She snapped, hands tightening on the saber.

“I believe I was the one who found you mauled in the dirt.”

Her rage nearly bowled him over. With a strangled cry she launched herself at him, saber roaring in the small room. He met her strokes easily. She’d been training – he could tell. Her strokes were more controlled and refined than they were the night she cut him down in the snow. Even then he found her awe-inspiring. The more successful he was at fending her off, the angrier and sloppier she became. He’d wait for her to tire out. The small shack rattled and groaned around them, their sabers slicing through the walls and destabilizing the already straining structure. He’d maneuvered her around, so her back was pressed against his chest. Before he could wrap his arms around her, a sharp elbow caught him in the stomach. An undignified wheeze left his mouth as she scrambled away.

He wasn’t sure why they always met with sabers drawn. Deep down Kylo knew he wasn’t capable of cutting her down, and he knew she felt the same. If they were to fall, it would not be beneath the other’s hand.

With a swipe of his leg he took her down hard. She fell to the floor with a sharp cry, and he was suddenly there, pinning her down. She was a ball of fire and he could hardly expect to get her to hold still without using his own form.

“Get off!” she hissed, saber forgotten beside her as she pummeled him with her fists.

Kylo caught her hands in one of his, restraining them above his head as he tore his glove off his free hand with his teeth. Rey paused for a moment as he slipped his hand beneath the hem of her tunic, his fingers warm against her stomach.

“What are you doing?” she hissed through her teeth.

“If I asked how your injury was doing you’d try to lop my head off, so I’ll take a look myself.”

Kylo leaned back still keeping her hands trapped in his grasp. Her flat stomach had two large pink scars running across her skin. His fingers traced the scars.

“No lasting damage?” he questioned, knowing some of his worry had weaved through his words.

“No.”

He’d given her enough room to draw her leg back and plant her foot firmly in the center of his chest. She was across the room before he was fully sprawled on his back.

“Why did you do it?” she demanded, hair coming undone around her face.

“Why did I do what?” he questioned, hauling himself from the floor.

“You massacred an entire herd of blurrgs on Ryloth and burned hundreds of acres of land!”

“Hux did.”

Kylo watched some of the tension leave her body.

“He follows your orders.” Rey countered.

“No. He selectively follows my orders and then makes up his own. He’s been slowly gathering troops to move against me.”

Rey’s breathing had slowed. As her anger abated, she was unsure of what to say to him. The intensity between them was vibrating in the air and it was only a matter of time before something gave way. Kylo’s thoughts drifted to the moment he’d found her Ryloth and he knew she could feel him through the bond.

When he landed on Ryloth for a recon mission, he was astounded to feel her down below, wandering through the forest – a forest notorious for being filled with dangerous predators. He’d easily slipped away from his ship to search for her. He’d only seen her from a distance since the throne room debacle. This would be the first time he’d find her alone. Just as he stepped foot into the forest, hand at the ready on his saber, her pain sent him to his knees.

In a flash he was running, drawing attention to himself and not caring.

He found her stretched out beneath a tree, tunic soaked in blood. Kylo dropped down beside her, drawing her dazed expression.

“I scared her.” Rey panted, hands slick with her own blood.

Kylo glanced a moment behind him, finding a blurrg feasting on a fresh patch of shrubbery.

“I came around the tree too fast.” Rey explained, eyes far away as she stared up at the canopy of trees.

Blurrgs were often used on farms or as modes of transportation. Those bred in captivity were more docile than those in the wild. They were mostly gentle creatures, but like any animal, they lashed out when they were scared. He could see her now, wandering through all the green that attracted her like a thief to a jewel. She’d be too lost in the moment to be aware of her surroundings.

Now she was sprawled before him, bleeding out.

He inspected her wounds – deep and ugly. Yanking her cloak from her bag, he wadded the material up and pressed it to her stomach causing her to cry out weakly.

“Hold this.” He snapped gruffly, pressing her hands to the material to help staunch the flow.

“I’ve almost died before, did you know?” she asked softly, not really caring for his response. “On Jakku…so much death. But I’ve never actually believed I’d die there. Now…I thought I’d be scared to die…but I’m not.”

Kylo was busy fiddling with her transmitter, tearing it apart his large and uncoordinated hands. He’d been taught by his barely there father how to reconnect a few wires in a transmitter to send a help signal to the receiver. There was some fancy terminology that went along with the wires and connectors, but Kylo hadn’t bothered to learn the names, but he remembered where things should go. Even now, seeing her blood smeared across his hands, he could still see his father showing him how to firmly connect the wires.

Once the signal was transmitting, he gently hauled her into his arms, cradling her against his chest. If they could find her under ten minutes, they’d be able to save her. If not…if this was how it would end, he’d keep her close. He wouldn’t miss a single second more of her. He was a sadist, wanting to hold her until the final breath left her body. He’d bask in her flickering light until it sputtered out, and with it she’d take his own light, however little that had managed to survive inside him all this time. Snoke had been right. With her death, his transformation would be complete. There would be no hope for him.

Rey stared up at him, her breath soft and too shallow. Kylo stared back while brushing her hair from her face.

“This wasn’t how I thought things would go.”

“Things hardly ever go the way we expect.” He replied softly.

“The throne room…”

“No,” he stopped her gently. “We don’t have to talk about it, not now.”

“You weren’t asking me to join the Dark Side.”

A beat passed between them.

“No,” he admitted, watching his hand’s progress across her forehead. “I wasn’t.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

Footsteps broke through the still air around them. Kylo lifted his eyes in their direction as her name was called.

“They’ll take care of you now.”

Rey lifted her hand and pressed her fingers to his cheek. They both felt the thread of need pulse beneath the pain and dread that was consuming them. It had always been there, but they’d never talked of it, never acknowledged it. With nothing left to lose, Kylo lowered his face, pressing his lips to hers. She returned the pressure, her dry lips molding to his own. They held still for a long moment, relishing the connection. Rey sighed against his mouth as the tension that had been building in them for nearly a year now was finally released.

The moment couldn’t last, not with her army heading in their direction.

Gently he eased her away and back to the ground. He was taken aback when her hand suddenly locked on his own desperately.

“Don’t be afraid.” He murmured, echoing some of the first words he’d spoken to her.

Before standing he brushed his mouth against hers once more, memorizing every detail. By the time he stood, she was unconscious. It went against his nature to leave her, but if he didn’t move now, they’d mow him down before he could explain.

For a week he anxiously searched through the Force, looking for her. Just when he thought it was hopeless, that she must have slipped away and he’d not noticed, she flashed into his mind, tender and thankful.

He was choked with relief.

Rey shuffled awkwardly in the small hut, her face flushed.

He suddenly understood that the sudden flare of hatred she’d felt for him over the last few months was because of that moment in the forest. It was because she’d returned his kiss. It was because she enjoyed it. She didn’t want to relish his touch and hated that she felt complete when the bond connected them. Rey couldn’t come to terms with the fact that the person who understood her most in the entire galaxy was kept from her because of a war, because they were fighting for different things. She’d lost sleep trying to reconcile the man she spoke to in visions with the man whose name struck fear into an entire galaxy.  

Kylo turned with his saber, hacking away at the back wall. Rey remained silent. When there was a decent sized hole, Kylo gestured for her to go.

“Do you have your cloak?” he questioned, watching as she nodded. “Good. Keep behind the shacks until you get back to your ship. They haven’t found it yet.”

Rey stared at him for a long moment before reaching for her bag beneath the trap door. She donned her cloak, pulling the hood up. She yanked the strap of her bag over her head, keeping her saber firmly in her hand. As Rey passed him, she paused and Kylo waited expectantly, but she slipped out of the rough entryway he’d created.

Before he could ponder the fact that she was leaving him again, she scrambled back inside. In an instant her hand was tangled in his hair, her mouth demanding on his own. They were uncoordinated and bordering on violent. He wrapped his fingers around the nape of her neck, forcing the hood back before his hand was in her hair, the bands snapping beneath his fingers.

This is how the first time should have been.

Just as her voice floated through his mind, Rey tore herself away. He drank her in, parted swollen lips and glowing eyes.

With a single exhale she is gone.

This would not be the last time they saw one another. He would make sure of that.

Kylo stepped out after her, following her form until she vanished around a corner.

He knew then that he’d tear apart every atom of the galaxy for her if she asked.

Through the bond, he could feel her assuring him that she would do the same.