#rewatching it with the billford lens is so fun

[acidstrike]

this is very very real and sad but also that second image of ford just looks like this sound personified

i love that out of every moment ford is on screen, the saddest we see him is directly after erasing stan's mind. not only has he just lost his brother, but he's also just killed bill- the being who his life used to be completely devoted to. for all the arguments he and stan have had and all the unresolved elements of their past, ford feels just as awful about losing stan as stan felt after ford was sucked into the portal. and despite the literal torture he's just endured from bill, ford still can't forget all of the good times they had together; the karaoke nights and the moments of vulnerability, the chess games and the feeling of having a partner. because bill may be the most toxic ex imaginable, but that doesn't mean ford won't miss him. he hesitates pulling the trigger, and he's miserable when he does.

ford is so guarded so much of the time. he works alone, he trusts no-one, and he builds walls that are next to impossible to break down. and yet, in this scene, there are so many silent tells on just how distraught he is. ford saves the world. but in doing so, he erases the centers of his.