#rewatched for new years but ive been sitting on this idea since we first watched it lol

[candysharkart]

Nooo don’t kill yourself your so sexy aha

[alicedoessurveys]

Doctor Who Tag

yes im a nerd...

CHILDHOOD

1. Did you like DW as a child?

I was 10 when it came back on telly with Eccleston and the first episode with the autons scared me so much my mom wouldn't let me watch it again until a couple years later, but yeah my teens I was obsessed with DW... still am at age 25

2. Your age at the time of the revival?

10

3. First DW episode you ever saw?

‘Rose’

4. Did you have any of the toys?

I still have the eleventh doctor’s screwdriver... I used to have some of the figures but there in storage now somewhere

5. Which DW character did you play on the playground?

didn't play it on the playground

6. Monster(s) that scared you most as a child?

all of them! the ones that still scare me now are the Cybermen and the Autons... genuinely cant walk past a shop mannequin without being suspicious 

7. Joke/story you didn’t get as a kid?

as a kid, any of the innuendo type jokes

8. DW opinion that has changed since you were a kid?

idk I think I still have the same opinions

9. Who introduced you to DW?

parents

10. Did you like Sarah Jane Adventures as a child?

I LOVED SJA!! I miss that show, and Elizabeth Slade :(

DOCTOR

11. Who is your Doctor?

Ten was the doctor that made me fall in love with Doctor Who 

12. Your favourite Doctor?

omg why not just ask me who my favourite child is... (I don't have kids but you know what I mean) if I had to chose my top three are ten, eleven and thirteen

13. Least favourite Doctor?

purely just because he doesn't have enough episodes... nine...

14. Best regeneration?

none of them I hate regenerations :( they make me sad, im too emotionally invested in every single one

15. Do you like “Doctor-Lite” episodes?

they're not my faves

16. Who is the most human Doctor?

I think nine maybe? or twelve?

17. Best multi-Doctor story?

the 50th anniversary special 

18. Best Doctor monologue?

“Hello Stonehenge! who takes the pandorica, takes the universe. but bad news everyone, cause guess who? HA! You lot you're all whizzing about- its really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute because I AM TALKING. Question of the hour is, who's got the pandorica? Answer, I do. Next question, who's coming to take it from me? Come on, look at me! No plan. No backup. No weapons worth a damn. oh and something else, I don't have anything to lose. So, if you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceship with all your silly little guns and you've got any plans on taking the pandorica tonight... just remember who's standing in your way. remember ever black day I ever stopped you and then- AND THEN- do the smart thing... let somebody else try first.”

not copied and pasted, remember that from the top of my head... its always there waiting in my mind incase I ever need an epic monologue :’)

19, What do you think TenToo/MetaCrisis Doctor is doing now?

hopefully living his best life with Rose

20. Best Doctor/companion pairing?

ten and donna 

COMPANIONS

21. Favourite companion?

Donna, Clara, Amy

22. Favourite secondary companion?

is Mickey classed as secondary? idk

23. Least favourite companion?

Ryan

24. Best TARDIS Team?

Doctor, Amy and Rory

25. Most underrated companion?

Graham, but that may just be cause I love Bradders

26. Most overrated companion?

Rose... I like her but idk, I think she gets more hype than she deserves.. don't @ me

27. Favourite companion’s family?

Rose’s mom

28. Who should have been a companion but wasn’t?

idk I cant think of anyone

29. Favourite (canon or non-canon) DW universe relationship?

Amy and Rory

30. Who did you not used to like, but really like now?

wasn't keen on Bill at first but by the end I really liked her, same with Rory

EPISODES

31. Favourite episode ever?

girl in the fireplace

32. Least favourite episode?

most of Chibnall’s episodes tbh sorry not sorry 

33. Which episodes do you skip?

the regeneration episodes

34. Best two-parter?

Human Nature - Family of Blood

35. Historical, present day or futuristic episodes?

I like them all in there own way but I think present is fave, then historical, then future

36. Episode that will always make you smile?

all of them

37. Episode that will always make you cry?

Rory and Amy’s last episode :’(

38. Best run of episodes?

ugh I cant answer this theres too many 

39. Best cliffhanger?

the end of Spyfall part one when the Master reveals who he is... I was SHOOK

40. Favourite Christmas special?

Voyage of the Damned

SERIES

41. Classic Who or New Who?

new who

42. Favourite series?

four or five

43. Least favourite series?

eleven, I just cant with the writing

44. Which series do you skip?

none

45. Favourite series opening?

eleventh hour

46. Favourite series finale?

Doomsday

47. Best series arc?

Bad Wolf

48. Thoughts on series 11/12?

I adore Jodie Whittaker and her doctor, and although I think 3 companions is too many I do love Yaz and Graham (Ryan is hit & miss). I just think theyve been massively let down by the stories/writing... they’ve tried to hard to tick certain boxes and completely missed what Doctor Who is about for a lot of people.. an escape from the real world into these outrageous unbelievable but lovable fun alien adventures 

49. How much of Classic Who have you seen?

not a lot

50. Who should have had another series?

NINE NINE NINE NINE NINE 

MONSTERS

51. Favourite monster/villain?

the master 

52. Most creative monster?

Weeping Angels, whoever came up with monsters that look like statues and only move when you're not looking at them is genius 

53. Monster(s) that scares you most?

Autons, Cybermen, the creepy dolls from Night Terrors, the ones from Waters of Mars, Weeping Angels

54. Monster you think is too easy to defeat?

idk

55. Least favourite monster/villain?

absorbaloff

56. Monster you want to return?

The Master, I really hope that isn't the last we see of Dhawan

57. In your opinion, what makes a monster good?

being genuinely scary, 

58. Daleks, Cybermen or Weeping Angels?

Weeping Angels

59. Best Dalek story?

Daleks in Manhatten

60. Best one time villain/monster?

my brain has gone blank I cant think of an answer right now 

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

61. Torchwood or Sarah Jane Adventures?

SJA

62. Favourite Torchwood Team member?

I haven't watched it all so I couldn't say 

63. Which Torchwood death made you saddest?

again, not watched it all 

64. Do you rewatch COE or MD?

huh

65. Favourite SJA Team member?

Sarah Jane

66. Mr Smith or K-9?

K-9

67. Maria or Rani?

Rani

68. Do you read the comics/novels or listen to Big Finish?

Nope

69. If you do, your favourite additional stories?

n/a

70. Do you like DW analysis (video essays, fan theories, etc)?

yes

DESIGN/PRODUCTION

71. Favourite piece of alien tech?

the sonic, I love how it is so multipurpose except for when it comes to wood 

72. Favourite piece of Murray Gold music?

I am the Doctor - gets me pumped every time 

73. Favourite TARDIS design?

Ten’s Tardis 

74. Has the 2005 era CGI aged well?

actually yeah, I was rewatching the ‘are you my mummy’ episodes the other day and my God when the gas masks emerged from the faces... ooooooof I was like omg how 

75. Favourite Doctor outfit?

eleven or thirteen

76. Monster with the best design?

not really a design more of a costume.. I live Dhawan master’s costume. that shade of purple, oof he so stylish 

77. Best show runner?

idk

78. Best writer?

Gatiss

79. Best opening titles?

eleven’s titles where the Tardis is flying and being zapped is cool but thirteens music hits different 

80. Will DW age well/stay popular in the future?

I hope so, I feel like its lasted this long surely it can last forever.. if the writers don't fuck it up... 

IF YOU WERE IN THE SHOW

81. Time period you’d want to go with the Doctor?

whatever time means Id get to wear the most beautiful costumes

82. Planet/place you’d want to go with the Doctor?

Galifrey, pre-desctruction

83. Doctor you’d most like to travel with?

any of them, please and thank you

84. Companion you’d most like to travel with?

donna, sceso a good laugh but also I feel like she’d look after me 

85. Monster you’d like to defeat/fight?

The Master 

86. If you could go back on your own history (like Father’s Day), where would you go?

back to when I was a toddler, I wanna see what I was like 

87. If you could ask the Doctor anything, what would you ask?

theres too many to ask 

88. Historical figure you’d like to meet?

Shakespeare

89. How do you think you’d meet the Doctor?

id probably be rescued from doing something stupid and then the doc would be like you know what the bitch clearly needs supervision she's coming with me 

90. Would you travel forwards or backwards in time first?

backwards

IF YOU MADE THE SHOW

91. Historical event would you like to see in DW?

Hamilton

92. Issue you’d like to see addressed in DW?

idk 

93. Who would you completely erase from the DW universe?

Ruth

94. One unanswered DW question you’d love to know the answer to?

where is Clara now?

95. Actor/actress you’d like to see play the Doctor?

Phoebe Waller Bridge (or Lin Manuel Miranda)

96. Actor/actress you’d like to see play a companion?

Andrew Scott (yes I did just basically recast fleabag and hot priest)

97. Is DW “too political”?

series 11 got a bit like that 

98. Which characters fate would you changed?

Danny Pink

99. What about DW could be improved?

I think ive made my options about Chibnall pretty clear... 

100. If you could write an episode of DW, any ideas for what you’d do

bring back Jenny, the Doctor / Daughter adventures they would have. I’m actually writing a fic about it if you wanna read.... here

[kalinara]

So I’m already thinking about how I’m going to do a Star Wars rewatch once the Rise of Skywalker comes out on DVD or streaming.  Mostly, I’ve been thinking about the order I watch the movies.

I know George Lucas favors the idea of going straight chronological, but I’m not a big fan of that.  For one, IMO, the Prequels drag in parts, and I don’t really want to wait for somewhere between four and six hours to get to my favorite characters.

Also, I think the jump in filming technology and techniques is jarring, even beyond the whole “going from a wealthy society into a dystopia” idea.

And I like to keep the impactful “Luke, I am your father” moment intact.  Obviously I know the secret.  But when I watch the Original Trilogy over again, there’s always a split second where I convince myself I don’t actually know that.  I can’t do that if I start with the prequels.

At the same time, I don’t really like going in production order either.  For one, going from OT to PT ends things on a downer note (admittedly, a bit alleviated by the Sequel Trilogy).  But also the in between movies like Rogue One and Solo don’t really have any sort of real impact where they are.  I don’t feel like watching Rogue One between TFA and TLJ really adds to the experience (beyond the fact that it’s a good movie.)

But some years back, someone got me into the “machete order”, in which you watch the OT and PT as: 4, 5, 1, 2, 3, 6.  And that really worked for me.  So I’m modifying it to include the other movies.  (The tv shows are a rewatch for another day.)

So this is my proposed order:

1.  Rogue One

I never thought I’d start with anything but A New Hope, but Rogue One does an amazing job of setting up the universe and the stakes.  It’s grim, gritty and shows the Empire as the terrifying dystopia it is.  It’s also pretty non-mystical.  Chirrut and Baze are more subtle types of force devotees.  There’s a nice peek at the Force as a religious element for ordinary people, not just Jedi.  We get a context for the world Luke will emerge in, and we can contextualize why he’s so important.  Also it makes Leia in A New Hope even more badass.

2.  Episode IV: A New Hope

Pretty self-explanatory.  I always start here, because it always feels the most fresh and new.  There’s no baggage, and we learn the universe with Luke.  This effect still works with Rogue One as a prologue, I think.  And Rogue One adds context of letting us glimpse the Death Star from the point of view of the victims.  And it gives a face to Bail Organa, personalizing Leia’s loss more.  But the introduction of the Jedi, the Force, and Luke’s burgeoning connection with both is gradual.

3. Episode V: Empire Strikes Back

I will NEVER willingly put this after the Prequels.  Ever.  I already explained why.  But the first time I encounter the idea of Vader being Luke’s father should come here, when Luke learns of it.

4, 5, 6:  Episodes I-III: Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, Revenge of the Sith

That said, this is the perfect time now to introduce this trilogy, in which we get to see the human side of Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader.  This is our first chance to see what exactly was lost when the Empire took over: we can appreciate the great spectacle of the Old Republic: the races, the costumes, the luxury and the scope.  Many Prequels advocates argue that the Star Wars universe feels the most grand and open and expansive during this time and I think they’re right.  And it’s on purpose.

The visual shifts work great here.  We’ll have gotten used to the low budget look of the OT/Rogue One, so the Prequels’ visual splendor will be even bigger.  And then when we go back to ROTJ, we’ll really appreciate how the low budget aspects reflect the fall of the society.

This also has the advantage of minimizing the flaws of the Prequels: particularly the dialogue.  The concepts are good, I’ve always said.  But I think everyone can agree that there are some issues with execution.  But if we put the prequel trilogy here, it gets this almost mythic quality.  The parts that get a little cartoonish, or hackneyed, are kind of glossed this way.  The prequels are a flashback, an emotional memory of Darth Vader and/or the Force itself, and so maybe not everything in it is 100% literal.  We remember emotions and the gist of conversations better than we remember exact dialogue.   (And the actors do a great job with the emotions of the events)

This way, we ride the emotions.  And the only reveal we ruin is that Luke and Leia are twins.  And honestly, that reveal in Return of the Jedi was always a little disappointing.  If we watch this way, the reveal comes when Padme gives birth.  We expect Luke.  We don’t expect Leia.  OMG!

7.  Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Now this is the GENIUS of the machete order.  Because whatever you say about Return of the Jedi as an individual movie (criticize it all you like, you’re wrong though.  :-D), as a conclusion, it’s phenomenal.  And when you watch it in this order, right after Return of the Sith, then Return of the Jedi plays double duty here.

You have the first thread: in which ROTJ wraps up the story of Luke, Leia, Han and the Rebellion.

And you have the second thread, in which it wraps up the story of Anakin, Palpatine, and the Old Republic.  Luke’s triumph brings ALL threads home to roost.

I can see why Lucas argued for chronological, since ROTJ is an amazing conclusion.  But straight chronological kind of ruins Luke’s own arc.  An encapsulated flashback allows us to keep the momentum of the OT, add the PT for context, and wrap up both with a neat little bow.

8. Solo

Full disclosure.  I haven’t seen Solo.  @Ragnell really loves it and I trust her taste.  But my interest in Star Wars was a bit of a nadir.  It looks like fun though.  Not deep.  

I’m tentatively placing it here.  I know it chronologically takes place first, but the tone doesn’t seem right for leading into the OT.  And it also doesn’t really fit between Revenge of the Sith and Return of the Jedi.  We can’t go from high emotion to fun and back like that.

But from everything I’ve seen and heard, this would work perfectly as a story that Han (or maybe Chewie or Lando) tell to Luke, Leia, maybe even little Ben.  The more absurd parts could maybe be glossed away as part of the story, rather than literal.  Unless it’s more fun to assume it did literally happen, and Han is getting teased relentlessly for it.

Either way, a bit of levity is good before...

9, 10, 11: The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi, The Rise of Skywalker

My final thought after the Rise of Skywalker is that I liked it.  I won’t deny there’s a lot to criticize.  And a lot of the behind the scenes stuff is very ugly.  But in terms of a story and a conclusion to both this arc and the whole shebang, it worked for me.  I’ll be interested to see how it influences my read of the Last Jedi.

Having Solo before TFA seems like it fits, given that Han is the member of the original trio with the largest role in that movie.  And there’s kind of a nice bit of poetry here that Leia is the first member of the trio introduced in Rogue One, and she’ll be the last we see (alive) in the Rise of Skywalker.

Now, the only catch is going to be finding the time to actually sit down and watch.  But at least I ought to be able to rope @Ragnell in as well.

(I’m leaving Clone Wars, Rebels, and the Mandalorian out of this line up, for a few reasons: Mainly if I tried to insert them into the movie line up, they’d definitely disrupt the flow.  And I won’t be able to finish in one weekend.  For me, the tv series count very much as supplemental canon.  Like a book of short stories that connect to a novel series.  They deserve to get their own follow up weekend(s), instead.)

[babblish]

23 & 39?

I’m going to answer these out of order as I ended up explaining Uhl fic’s entire backstory and it got it super long and should really go under a cut. I hope you don’t mind, it’s a looong read.

39. What is your greatest strength as a writer?

I think ultimately it is that I have around 20 years of writing experience (I legit started when I was around 10) and I’ve finally gotten to the point where I can execute my vision for a scene/character/whatever and be happy with what I’ve written. Obviously I don’t think my writing is perfect and I’m forever going to be chasing that goal, but being able to go back over my writing and not despise it was a surprisingly hard skill to learn and I think it’s my greatest current strength because now I have the confidence and motivation to continue.

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

That has to be Whispers Within, I haven’t actually written a full length anything before and I am getting super close to finishing it now which is amazing to me because in part it feels like healing.

To explain this, I started the fic when my disability took a nose dive and I needed something to help me exercise my brain and make me feel like me again. At the time I couldn’t focus on a lot of “adult media” like Orphan Black, Game of Thrones, Sense8, etc because those shows were very long, very complicated and literally impossible for me to follow the plot of at all. 

HOWEVER Trollhunters shone out to me and I’d just lie in bed watching and rewatching and rewatching. Before this I liked the show, I had been introduced by a little man of around the age of 4 and by episode 20 had falling in love with the trolls and the changelings. I had my own changeling OC, a seer named Tristan, which I didn’t really do anything with beyond arting and assigning a backstory to, and maybe shipping him with the usual suspects. Season 2 came around and I fell in love with the human characters as well. I was doing a Cert IV in graphic design and sometimes I’d have it playing in the background as I was working on my assignments. Not always, but I recently started watching Voyager from the beginning and I’d need the occasional palette cleanser.

At the beginning of 2018 I crashed really hard, and the obsessive rewatching began. Especially the episodes S2:8-10, I literally watched one of those for each meal every day. At this stage I couldn’t write at all but I already had Tristan just sitting there in my head. Up until this point I’ve always been able to be creative, I first became disabled at 14 years old and as a response all of my identity became focused around sedentary things I could do alone, see: arting, writing, conlangs, worldbuilding etc. And almost over night I could no longer do any of those things. But creativity doesn’t go away and I lost myself to daydreaming since that was all I could do. As brainfog is an inherently unfocused plane, character ideas about new creatures merged with fandreams about Tristan and they twisted and curled, slightly different each time, and eventually became Sam.

And then in late May and early June, three things happened to me that gave me the drive to force myself to write even though it was so hard for me. 1. My doctor told me if I didn’t use my skills I’d lose them forever. (this isn’t actually true, dr was just a dick, but it was like that no fear, one fear meme). 2. Season 3 of Trollhunters came out and Bad Coffee did things to me and I dove straight into AO3 hungry for a fic that didn’t exist, although I found others such as Days in the Sun by @seagullandcroissant and was further inspired, and 3. My now SO confessed her feelings for me and we started dating. Suddenly I had the deep need to write, even if it was silly or high concept drabble. The concept of Sam’s visions was a way for me to make sense of that and give me a good contrivance to write little bites of speculative fiction within a universe. And due to my SO not being a man I suddenly had some intense internalised biphobia and felt the need to validate my queerness for my own personal reasons, and due to our relationship being LD, a sudden need for sappy domestic fluff.

At first it was so hard, it’d take me all day to write a short paragraph. But then it hit me that, I couldn’t art but I could paint with words. So the visions got more experimental, and I finally started feeling like myself again. I picked a love interest from ToA because that world was already in my head and I had just started learning German on Duolingo as more brain practice, so Uhl randomly became the guy. You have no idea how close I came to picking Walter but there was already so many fics about him out there and like… none about Uhl and I was salty.

Initially I had zero intention of putting it out there in the world because I was going through some internalised stuff about writing fan fiction over my own worlds, but then I shared some of with my SO (enduring the mortifying ordeal of being known) and she liked it so much that over several months I came to the decision that I actually I did want to want to be active in the fandom and have met some amazing people through it. I definitely have no regrets and for however long that I continue writing, Whispers Within is always going to be dear to me for these and a number of other reasons.

[sailor-cresselia]

The Great Ex-Aid Rewatch: Episode 10

When last we saw our hero, Emu kicked his own ass by way of not being able to control Drago Knight Hunter Z. Said gashat will be referred to from here on as Drago Knight, because that title is just too danged long.

We start off with him being half-carried into CR, Asuna supporting him. He is not in a good way, almost immediately collapsing on that couch. Like, he’s bruised and bloodied, and covered in what looks like soot. It probably is, given the amount of fire that was going on back there.

Despite this, he says that he’s fine as Asuna wheels over a supply cart to start patching him up.

–––

(Also, there’s a brief segment with Kiriya, watching people being brought to the hospital, and knowing full well that this is Zero Day all over again… and he’s not gonna let that happen.)

But the virus is spreading throughout the city, and people are panicking. So Emu tries to run off, to go stop Graphite.

Even as Asuna is telling Emu that his own treatment should come first. Even as Dr. Kyotaro staggers out of the room, asking if the virus is spreading… and then asking how Emu got so many injuries.

He tries to play it off, moving the secretaries hands away. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.” Emu looks away as he’s saying this. He knows full well he’s lying, but also doesn’t want to worry anyone. Doesn’t want to worry his hero. To his visible shame, Asuna tells Hinata that Emu tried to use Drago Knight by himself.

Emu is desperate to save him, because he feels like he owes him. He’ll do whatever it takes, regardless of the risks.

Hinata’s not okay with that.

–––

Cut to the still ongoing battle of Hiiro, Taiga, and Graphite.

Hiiro is taking way more hits than either of the others on the field – mostly from Graphite, because Taiga’s way out of reach thanks to Jet Combat. But the miniguns on Jet Combat don’t discriminate, and I’m fairly certain a lot of those shots at least winged Hiiro. So, Brave is the one taking the majority of Graphites attacks, and occasional splash damage from Snipe.

And the two of them are fighting each other all the way, even actually attacking each other – Hiiro actually goes at Taiga with a fire attack to get him out of the way, so that he can be the one to take down Graphite.

A shot from the Gashacon Sparrow interrupts them.

Kamen Rider Lazer has joined the fray.

–––

Back at CR, Dr Kyotaro basically chews Emu out for thinking that only one doctor can do any work alone – there is always a team at work. He also warns Emu about knowing his limits, about not overestimating his abilities.

Emu’s basically frozen as Asuna helps the secretary back into the room.

“Some Genius Gamer I am… Going on about not losing at any game. I was just being full of myself. I never tried to trust anyone.”

Emu, hon, it’s definitely not that. Well, okay, the first part about being arrogant, yeah. Yeah, you were. But it’s not that you haven’t tried to trust anyone. It’s that the others have pretty much thrown any attempts you’ve made for the four of you to work as a team back in your face. What was happening was that you got fed up, and when the case got truly personal, you snapped. Started acting like Hiiro and Taiga. You got reckless, and not in the usual Made Of Iron/Determinator way.

–––

Meanwhile, with Graphite and the other three riders, everyone is getting their asses kicked. Taiga seems to have been pulled out of the air finally, since he’s fighting on the ground now. Graphite lands some solid hits on all three of them. This knocks Taiga down momentarily, and he drops Doremifa Beat and Gekitotsu Robots – the level three gashats he took from Hiiro and Emu in episode 8. Hiiro quickly reclaims his, and Kiriya grabs Emu’s. Taiga, being Taiga, takes great offense to this, and to Kiriya’s jab about it being better than letting him have all of them. So now the three of them are bickering about this, because they are all clearly children.

Hiiro isn’t looking too hot, actually. He’s the only one here who isn’t in level 3, and it looks like he had a harder time getting back up from the last attack by Graphite than either Kiriya or Taiga did. I mean, yeah, there’s probably a decent difference in how good their defenses are with the extra armor, but still.

But yeah. The three alleged adults are bickering, and guess what? Graphite doesn’t like to be ignored! Named attack, GO!

–––

Well, looks like everyone got kicked out of the battle stage and onto a roof. I think it’s the one Emu was on earlier, where he confronted Graphite.

…Hiiro. Hiiro, sit down. The others have the right idea. At least try to catch your breath while you blame the others for getting in your way.

To set the scene: Hiiro is staggering, leaning on a wall with one arm. Taiga is crouched, and pissed that they’re getting in his way. Kiriya is just sprawled out on the rooftop, is really sick of these guys bickering, and would really like it if everyone would just shut up for a while.

Emu approaches, apologizing for trying to do this on his own, and saying that they should be able to work together – and is promptly shot down by everyone.

Taiga, please. Quit saying you don’t want to play at being a doctor, it’s only episode 9 and we can already tell you’re lying through your teeth.

Oooh, and Taiga’s finding out that he wasn’t just pulling thoughts from nowhere, Emu really hasn’t had the compatibility surgery. I think he had only suspected it before, but now Kiriya’s said it plainly.

“How can you transform into Ex-Aid without having the compatibility surgery?”

Emu can’t answer, because he has absolutely no idea what anyone is talking about.

And Kiriya goes on – Emu’s only had one operation, the one when he was eight. Kiriya’s suggesting that maybe… maybe Emu had it performed on him then, without his knowledge by Doctor Hinata. And he’s not going to play a part in saving a guy who would do that.

–––

Okay, see, this thing here. With Kiriya accusing the secretary? I like this. He knows that nobody trusts him, but also that this is, technically, information that Hiiro at minimum can access. Secretary Hinata is the government official in charge of CR, ergo, he would know about the compatibility surgery. Hell, he might even have been the one to do it for the others.

So, with all of these aligning, it’s incredibly justified that he’d be willing to accuse the secretary. The fact that Emu has no clue what anyone is going on about only makes the situation more damning.

Of course, as we find out later, Kiriya’s technically not that far off. Emu was, technically speaking, given the ability to become a Kamen Rider 16 years ago. Well, the start of it, anyway. It was just… you know, maybe a few months earlier than they’re thinking right now.

–––

Parad is bored out his mind. They won’t be able to get any data if the doctors are just griping at each other.

Kuroto’s all like “Eh, if they don’t work out, we can just find some new users. It’s fine.”

Parad smirks. As if he’s going to let Kuroto get rid of M that easily.

Elsewhere, Graphite says that all he has to do now is wait for the outbreak.

–––

It’s nighttime. Emu sits on a rooftop, crying, because he can’t do this. He can’t convince them all to work as a team. He can’t save anyone like this.

Asuna asks him if he’s really okay with this – with just stopping.

She believes in him.

He reaches into his pocket, and pulls out his phone.

–––

Cut to Hiiro. In a hospital room. Which I’m sure is just cautionary, he came out pretty poorly in that last fight, after all. I’m sure it’s fine, the IV is just in case, there’s nothing wrong.

Anyway, his two early-show assistants are here, and he snaps at one when she says to make sure he gets some rest. Because Hiiro is an asshole.

The phone rings. It’s Hojo.

Like, Emu specifically introduces himself that way – formally and everything. He’s saying that Hiiro was right, he can’t do this. But a genius surgeon like Hiiro should be able to… so he’s going to give him Drago Knight.

–––

Daytime, probably early morning. Emu sits in stony silence on a skyway, Asuna asking if he’s really giving the Gashat to Hiiro.

Hiiro approaches, saying that Emu’s finally realized that he’s not cut out for this job, and should just hand over the gashat.

Taiga approaches, asking why the pampered little surgeon is here. After all, he’d been promised the gashat.

Kiriya approaches, wondering what’s going on. He’d been told he could have the thing!

All four of them seem to start to realize they’ve been played.

Emu’s still hunched over, until Hiiro asks what he’s planning.

His eyes flash a reddish-pink, as a breeze blows back his hair and he smirks. “If you want this so badly, you’ll have to go through me to get it. That is, unless you think you’ll lose.”

As Asuna points out to herself… he’s gotten aggressive, but a game hasn’t even started yet.

Area intern is channeling his internal competitive gamer tendencies.

(Meanwhile, the physical embodiment of his external competitive gamer tendencies watches from a distance, getting a kick out of realizing Genius Gamer M’s plan.)

Emu’s in the Drago Knight armor, which he’s still having trouble handling. There’s visual glitching every now and then, and arcs of electricity keep going across it, even as he continues to cream the other riders.

He’s taunting them, too. Don’t they feel just humiliated, losing to a mere intern? He’s practically growling. Whether that’s just a side effect of not being quite able to handle the full armor, or if he’s putting on an act, it does it’s job of aggravating the others well enough.

Though Kiriya has to admit, Emu knocking the Gekitotsu Robots gashat out of his holder by barely deflecting an attack to get behind him is well played.

They launch attacks at him, as he tells them to come at him. The Dragon armor seems to take the brunt of the attack, breaking off of him and forming back into its robot form, which they then shoot down with a trio of finishers…

And the Drago Knight gashat divides into four.

Four gashats for four players. It’s supposed to be a co-op game.

Emu, internally: Now, if we could all act like the mature adults we are supposed to be for five minutes…

Emu, externally: Time to take out Graphite.

As Emu warps everyone to the battle stage, Parad turns and walks away. “That’s how it’s going to be, then.”

–––

Holy shit, when we get to the game area? We can see that everyone is going into this battle at half health.

Yo.

I saw that Emu was at half when the dragon came off of him, but since the others were in level three, their gauges weren’t visible. But each and every one of the four doctors is at half.

When the armor divides between them, all of them going to level five, most of them start at level two. Kiriya starts at level one, because he doesn’t exactly have a choice if he wants to transform on his own. And then he’s the bike aNYWAY before he receives the Claw portion of the armor. Because of COURSE he has to be the bike before he can get limbs.

Kiriya and Poppy both think that this is pretty damned cool – though Poppy would never phrase it quite like that. Fifty-fifty odds that Kiriya thinks it’s sweet primarily because he DOESN’T HAVE TO BE A BIKE RIGHT NOW.

Then the fight begins… and yet again, half of it is the Riders bickering and shoving each other out of the way. Poppy’s a bit embarrassed, and Graphite is really sick and tired of these assholes ignoring him.

Hm. As everyone prepares their finishers – the four riders and Graphite – we get a good look at everyone’s rider gauges again. They’re all back to full. Interesting. I wonder which was the production error.

But Graphite is defeated. The armor parts pull off of the riders and reform into the dragon robot, as the Game Clear announcement plays.

(Also, Kiriya is a bike again, because this is just his life, he supposes.)

–––

On the roof, Parad picks up the Proto-Drago Knight gashat. “Nice work, Graphite.”

(‘See you in a few months.’)

He walks off, just as Poppy teleports in with her back to where he was standing.

They just missed him.

At the other end of the skyway, the four riders stand a distance apart from each other. Emu’s looking at the gashat, and then back up at the others.

Emu: ‘So, which of them is going to try and punch me for this first…?’

There’s some stoic ‘discussion’ over who should get the Gashat, and when Hiiro just goes up to take it from Emu, Poppy stops him, saying that they should all just call it a draw. They can all work as a team now, right? Right? RIGHT?

No. Sorry Emu and Poppy, but no they won’t. Because all three of the ‘senior’ riders are stubborn and refuse to see reason.

(Even though Hiiro has the most reason to be agreeable to working together. You know. Because he’s a surgeon. And we just got done going over how one person cannot perform a surgery alone.)

Everyone walks off as Poppy and Emu just wind up disappointed in all of them.

–––

Hiiro looks out over the ocean. Yes, he’s technically avenged Saki but… it feels hollow. This was never going to bring her back, after all.

–––

Back at CR, Secretary Hinata is being discharged, and says that the ministry will clean up the incident. It’s fine, because none of the infected had their cases truly break out.

(Of course, by ‘clean up’ we mean ‘cover up’, but regardless.)

He goes to thank Emu, but Emu tells him not to. He was only able to pull this off thanks to Hinata’s guidance, after all.

Emu please develop some self worth, I’m begging you.

–––

At Kuroto’s office, we find out that they’ve accumulated the data they need to move on to ‘the next stage.’

That’s the combat data acquired. Next up…

Well, we don’t know just yet, now do we?

See you next game~

––––––

Well, that’s ten episodes in the bag!

I am enjoying this so much, guys! I hecking love Ex-Aid.

–––

Last time I watched the show, I hadn’t really started writing fic yet. That was why I was watching, actually, to focus on Parad so I could write Event Flag XX.

This time around, I’m really data gathering. I’m getting all the info I can. Partly for ReUnited purposes, partly because I love knowing all I can about these shows.

And partly because a friend and I got to talking about how Ex-Aid’s advertised secondary is Brave, but… well, both Taiga and Kiriya fit the mold far better than Hiiro. In fact, there wouldn’t really be that much of a difference in the story if Hiiro wasn’t there at all.

And can you imagine how much of an uproar there would have been if the advertised secondary was written out? Like, say he had a battle that was incredibly personal. And he just… doesn’t make it out. Or maybe he does, but is just a little too injured to go on afterward.

You may have noticed the particular attention I’ve paid to Hiiro and his overall lack of polish in the fights in the past ten episodes.

Basically we accidentally a whole-ass AU and now I’m writing the whole damn show over. One of those ‘events parallel to canon except where they’re not’ deals.

It’s not nearly polished enough for publishing yet. But eventually I’ll be able to start releasing what we’ve been referring to as ‘The Hiiro-less AU’ to the public. Eventually.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still doing the liveblogs, this wasn’t just an extended sneak preview.

–––

(Highlights of what I’ve got written thus far include:

“Wow, if Emu’d just had one of his coworkers die, that’d explain a lot about how frozen he was during Dr. Pac-Man, since that takes place between episodes 10 and 11.”

“Oh shit, hey, Hanaya, wanna help me keep an eye on the Ace? I’m getting real worried about him zoning out all the time.”

“Oh shit now there’s only two of us please do not use that gashat this is not how I wanted to be the only rider around here.”

My having ZERO IDEA how to adapt the Gashat Gear Dual, because by the time it comes into play in canon, one of the gashats that it got data from hasn’t been in use for QUITE SOME TIME. However… “That sure looks like Brave… but in purple. And there’s only one gashat there, so that can’t actually be the visor from Doremifa Beat, right?”

Kenzaki being Aorider never really sat well with me, since he is alive, after all, unlike the others… but now there’s another blue rider available, isn’t there?

“Looks like the cartridge for Kamen Rider Chronicle works in these things, after all. I was hoping it would. That’ll make clearing this a whole lot easier.”

“She left the driver behind – after all, she can't use it. It’s meant for humans only. And her bugvisor is fairly distinct. …Best to cover it up, then.”)

[preppypolkadot]

Sick (Timeless Lyatt Fic)

Summary: She returned back to the bunker with an infected wound expecting to find him. But she never for the life of her expected to find Her in the bunker as well.

Notes:

Okay, that summary is awful. But to be honest i don't even know where this story comes from. I was rewatching season 2 because it's finally on Netflix and right after episode 4 and was at the very beginning of episode 5 I was struck by an idea and it has haunted me ever since. What happened during the time they got back from Salem to the time where Lucy woke up and Jiya told her that the boys went on a mission without her. I also liked to believe that she was out of it for a couple of days, hence, this story.

I would like to apologize for the possible headache it might inflict while reading this story and in the future.

Would also like to point out that all the mistakes; timeline, facts, grammar, and typo are all mine. Also wish I own the rights for the show cause then will have 20 seasons not just 2.

So without further ado....

He got his wife back.

And of course he’d bring her back here in the silo, because… she’s his wife.

He got his wife back.

And it all happen just right after they got back, together, full of potential and love. Whoa where did that come from? Love? I don’t love wyatt…. At least not yet. She sigh. She’s a mess ever since that phone call, went back to colonial time salem, got stab on the arm, went back still a mess. She doesn’t expect to feel better anytime soon, but it most definitely helped that she went on a mission with Rufus and Flynn. Yes, you heard that right she is glad she went with Flynn. FLYNN! She’s not going to lie, working with both men gave her the sense that she will be fine without Wyatt, that she will be able to move on with life without Wyatt. That is until her mother showed up and have her accused of being a witch. But she persevered and now they’re back and she believes she’s a stronger person.

Standing here right now, a few feet away from both Wyatt and Jessica, seeing how beautiful she really is and remembering how broken Wyatt was for years, all her previous self encouragement just disappeared on thin air and with it the little voice in her head telling her that maybe all of this is just a bad dream and it’s bound to end soon. It was an instant decision, the right one she thought, she figured that all this feelings that she’s having right now, the confusion, anger, butterflies, everything, she will just bottle it all up. She did manage to hide her then tiny crush on wyatt everytime they go on a mission. Flynn’s huge hand tugging at her good arm pulled her back to reality. How long has she been staring at Jessica? Am i looking at her with dagger? My left arm is throbbing. Damn! I’ve been stabbed with an ancient knife. Is that fatal? Am I dying?! The awkwardness in the air is thick, maybe it is better if die.

She let Flynn drag her to the girl’s room with Agent Christopher and Jiya trailing behind, both asking questions about the mission and how her arms get stabbed, who stabbed you? Is it rittenhouse? Did you get the rittenhouse agent? What are they after at 1690’s Salem? Were you there during the witches revolt? That one is asked with so much enthusiasm it actually made her smile. Wait what? Witches revolt? Stay in your room i’m calling a doctor.  She wants to answer all of it, it’s the teacher in her she suppose, but she also just want to lie down and process the mission and more importantly the fact that Jessica is in the bunker.

Jiya helped her lie down, they both watch agent Christopher and Flynn walked out of their room, waited until they don’t hear their footsteps anymore until she looked back at her. “Wyatt brought her here.” Jiya answered before she could even process what she really want to know. “We were all surprise, Denise is still trying to get a hold of him when you guys left and when she stopped calling that’s when he showed up… that’s when they showed up.” She let go of the sigh she didn’t even know she’s holding and wince at her injured arm she’s pretty sure is getting worse. “Let me grab the first aid kit, we should at least try to clean the wound while we wait for the doctor.”

She closed her eyes willing herself to focus on Jiya’s fading footstep but as soon as it disappear there’s really nothing else to focus on except at her wounded arm and her wounded heart. She prefer focusing on the arm because as horrific as it sound that was easier to focus at.

Last she remembered before she declared that she’s just resting her eyes is that there are still some light from the outside streaming through the tiny bunker window and it couldn’t have been a long time ago, but she’s guessing a significant amount of time has passed because it’s now dark outside. She’s sweaty but she didn’t care. First thing she noticed is that the pain got worse, second is that Jiya is sound asleep on the cot opposite her. She’s now noticing what had changed around her. There is now a water basin, wet cloth, medicines, and extra clean bandages. I must be really out of it for doctor to come in and for me to not notice? She let out what she thought is a silent groan, back sticky from sweat, hair matted. Turns out she was loud cause it woke up Jiya. “Woah there professor take it easy. Do you need anything?” she was besides her in an instant.

“Water.” she croak, throat extremely dry.

“Here,” she poured her one and babbled on “Rufus brought a pitcher of water for this exact moment. Don’t tell him you actually needed it okay, he will not let me hear the end of it.” she giggled “I might have told him to leave you alone and let you rest but he insisted that he should bring you sustenance just in case.”

Jiya’s rambling, but she likes it. It takes her mind off her throbbing head and arm. She reached for the latter and for the first time she notice the professionally placed bandage on top of it. She winced when her fingers made contact.

“Agent Christopher also brought soup you should probably eat some before i give you pain meds.”

“Wow seems like everyone has seen me on my deathbed.” she let out what she think resemble something of a laugh but it sounded weird. Jiya looked at her sadly, she raised an eyebrow urging her to say whatever she’s been holding back. Is she actually dying? “Jiya it’s just a joke, unless i’m actually dying? Oh god…”

“No, you’re not dying!” She countered. “More like who came by to check on you and who didn’t…” she’s avoiding her eyes but continued nonetheless. “Connor and Agent Denise we’re both here when the doctor stopped by, making sure that you’re really getting the treatment you needed because you have 105 fever.”

“Wow I have 105 fever…” without any warning Jiya reached for her forehead.

“You might still have one, you’re still super warm. But the biggest surprise for everyone is Flynn stopping by to check if, his exact words are, ‘Is she still breathing?’” I let out a chuckle. “ And then rufus stopped by before I go to bed to bring water, I got tired of everyone knocking at the door so I kinda snapped at him telling him that what you actually need is to be left alone and rest, not water.” Jiya has a apologetic look on her eyes. “Maybe do tell him you drank some of the water he brought, that would actually be nice.”

It had taken her longer than usual for her brain to process all that information and to realize that there is still one more person in the group that Jiya hasn’t mentioned. Her foggy brain has finally put two and two together and she finally understood what the woman in front of her is trying to avoid.

Wyatt.

She hates that knowing that he didn’t even check on her hurts more than the pain she’s experiencing with both her head and arm combined. Well… he did just get his wife back, so why would he visit a co-worker? Because two missions ago we were more than coworkers that’s why! She’s not really sure why she’s answering her own questions right now but all of a sudden she is too tired and just want to lie back on the cot and rest her eyes again. Jiya noticing the sudden deflate of energy from her tried to coax her to at least taking a few sips from the soup “I’ll heat it up on the microwave real quick. It might also be time for you to take your antibiotics. You’re still pretty warm.”

“I’ll just quickly close my eyes, I’ll eat after a few minutes.”

Next thing she knows is it’s bright outside again and that all she could remember from that whole late night exchange with Jiya is ‘soup’. Did everyone brought her soup? Is that it? She let out another not so subtle groan but this time Jiya is not in the room but there on her behalf sitting on a possibly most uncomfortable chair is Agent Christopher… Knitting? She had closed her eyes again fully resigned that, yes, maybe her condition has gotten worse. But really? Agent Christopher knitting? That has got to be whole new level of hallucinations. Another groan and that had brought agent Christopher besides her in an instant.

“What do you need sweetie?” Spoken like a true mother she thought. She tries to remember with her foggy brain if her actual mother was that concern when she was sick. Maybe once? Most of the time she just gave her books to read telling her that reading will make her feel better. It did but she still crave the maternal affection.

“Water?” Then it hit her she’s now wearing an IV. Agent Christopher followed her gaze.

“Jiya told me you haven’t eaten anything so I called the doctor and she suggested IV, it’s the only way to actually have liquids and meds in you.” At this point every part of her is sore, agent Christopher helped her sit up when she notice her gave it all but fail miserably anyways.

“What happened to me?” even her own voice sounds so foreign in her own ears.

“Mostly infections, stab wound is shallow but it still requires stitches, high fever probably from the infections.” Agent Christopher held at the glass of water while she drinks obviously not trusting her with it.

“I think I might also have hallucinations.” I stare at the ball of yarn and what look like a scarf waiting for it to disappear but it didn’t.

“Maybe, Jiya did mention you murmuring all evening, you mentioned a few names ever since I had taken over looking after you. Doctor’s strict order that there should always be someone in the room just in case the high fever brought seizures.” Denise followed her eyes that are still staring at the ball of yarn. “Oh that’s not hallucination Lucy, I’m knitting.”

“You are?” She tried sounding surprise but she’s pretty sure she sounds more like a drunk right now. She want to lie down again, her eyes closing on its own. Agent Denise notice and had attempted to keep her upright.

“No lucy you need to eat something. Don’t go back to sleep--” Too late she was out.

Next she open her eyes it’s dark again, Jiya is back sleeping on her cot. Like the last time, she tried to remember what happened before she black out again. Soup. She paused and force herself to remember more, she’s an historian for crying out loud she knows even the tiniest details of history. But for the life of her all she could really think about right now is soup! Its frustrating but also tiring so she closed her eyes again.

Next time she open her eyes though she hears talking, There’s a pause and she waited for another person to talk but no response and then the person has started talking again. She close her eyes but this time to focus on the words, it’s all murmurs but she manage to catch a fews phrases. I should’ve have been there. I’m sorry. Flynn said you got stabbed trying to save someone, when did you become so heroic? I thought that part is my job. Chuckle or more murmuring she really couldn’t distinguish. But it now occur to her who the owner of voice is.

Wyatt.

What is he doing here? Is it actually all just a bad dream? Her hopes soared only for it to come crashing down. There is it the other voice she’s been waiting to hear. A woman’s voice that doesn’t sound like Jiya or Agent Christopher. A voice she’s not really familiar with but from the way she’s calling Wyatt she just knows. Jessica. It’s all still murmur on her ears but she got the jist of it. She’s calling Wyatt to help her on something. She heard wyatt sigh, surprisingly that part is clear.

She wanted to reach out, to ask him to stay. But she couldn’t even keep her eyes open for more than five minutes, so the idea of physically reaching out for him is completely exhausting on it’s own. She stayed still, eyes still close, and listen for their footsteps to fade away. It’s not until then that she realize she doesn’t feel any physical pains anymore. But the emotional strain she’s now currently have is too much and if it’s possible more painful than getting stabbed. She took a sharp intake of breath and had let the pain slowly ease her back to slumber, and for the first time since the mission back from Salem, sleep didn’t come as quickly as it normally does.

It has now become normal to not remember a thing whenever she open her eyes, but right now she sense that she should be grateful for it. Like not remembering is actually better than remembering how she must have embarrassed herself with her hallucinations or something more horrific. Except ‘soup’, that thought has stuck with her through this whole ordeal and it has now started to feel comforting. Soup. And for the first time in days, she doesn’t even know what day is it, she actually wants soup. She felt something removed from her forehead, something cold and wet. With more force that it normally takes she tried opening her eyes, blinked a few times until an image of Jiya sitting besides her on the bed is no longer blurry.

“Hey. You’re awake.” she’s closed her eyes again, but she could totally hear the mirth on her voice. “Fever dropped, that’s a good sign.”

That’s when it hit her. Last time she was temporary awake, he was here. Wyatt was here.

“Wyatt?” its was out of her lips before she even register it happening.

“He’s on a mission.” That did it, now she’s awake.

“He went without me?”

Jiya figuring out that this might really be it, she’s out of the woods and could finally processed everything. “You were stabbed with a knife full of 17th century germs and running a 105 fever, remember?” she reminded her while she tried to peel off the tape that has somehow made itself permanent on her skin.

“I don’t care. He shouldn’t have gone without me.” she let out in between wincing for pain., medical tape are painful to remove, why do we use it on people already in so much pain?

“Flynn’s pinch hitting. I’m sure he and Wyatt have everything under control.” Jiya is avoiding her eyes.

“Sure, what could go wrong?”

“Would’ve been weird anyway, right? You and Wyatt on a trip?” She finally looked at her “Rufus told me. About Hollywood. You. Wyatt.” She’s also finally looking at Jiya. “Sounded pretty romantic.”

Jessica.

She finally remember Jessica.

“I didn’t know that he was still married.” she says more to herself really. “I mean, I didn’t know that Jessica was--”

“Alive again?” Jiya cut her off. “I know. I wasn’t judging.”

Jiya went back to her task, she doesn’t even realize she was changing her bandage until she saw her grab the god awful medical tape again.

“I just…” Jiya continued. “I just mean it must be hard. Especially with her here.”

Oh yeah, that too. “I want him to be happy.” again she’s voicing it out loud more for herself than for the other woman tending at her wounds. “I mean, this is what he’s always wanted. So...”

“What about what you want?” Jiya cut her off again, and all of a sudden she miss being woozy, of being able to doze of just by closing her eyes.

“Were still friends. We’ll have the missions. I’ll be fine.” She’s also surprise with herself that this are all just coming out of her so naturally. She made an effort to sit up, surprising the other woman on the bed.

“Take it easy.”

“I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine.” she waved her off.

“Don’t be a hero today.” Jiya warned.

“No heroics. I’m just gonna get some tea.”

Because to be honest she’s not really fine, her body is still sore, she’s worried for the boys on mission right now but she’s also glad to be strong enough to get out of bed and make herself a cup of tea. So that’s what she’ll do, make herself a warm cup of tea and try to sort out all that is happening right now with a less foggy point-of-view.

[rjcauthor]

How to Make a Living as an Indie Author

[Author Note: Originally published on my website in 2014. The basics remain the same.]

I thought about titling this post, "My Advice to Writers 2014 - 150,000 Books Later," [2018 Update - 1,000,000+ sold and counting] but it'd be disingenuous. I'm not speaking to all writers here. There are plenty of advice guides/blog posts for basic writers, for the hobbyist, for the person who wants to get their book queried and submitted, etc, etc.

I'm not really an expert in any of those fields, so why spend my day off writing a blog post about it? (Why spend my day off writing a blog post at all, honestly? Fuck if I know. I should be on the couch partaking of the last day of the Titanfall beta or rewatching a few of the Harry Potter movies on Blu-ray. Instead, I'm doing this. I must be mental.) Anyway, I'm writing this because I want to speak to a certain segment of the writing population, and that's the person who wants to make a living as an indie author.

I've written advice posts before, and a lot of them were filled with caveats that were designed to protect people's feelings and avoid controversy, and also protect my ass from anyone who might get upset. Let me get those out of the way ahead of time: I'm assuming if you're going to read further you're:

a) Looking to make a living as an indie author, and are unwilling to accept any other means of making a living long-term.

b) Are smart enough to decide after reading my advice if the methods I describe are a fit for you.

c) Are willing to work for 100 hours per week for a sustained period of time if that's what it takes.  

d) Are smart enough to know that I'm too busy to personally mentor anyone beyond this post. You're going to need to figure out the rest for yourself. Find some author friends, some like minded people you can talk to. It'll help a lot.  

(As an aside, my harsh words here in this post are going to be the least of the slings and arrows you'll have to deal with if you go down this road, so maybe take it as a warning to look for surer footing elsewhere.)

Some quick background:

In March of 2011 I had been in financial services for seven years. It wasn't going terribly well, and I was spending all my free time working on a story idea that was absolutely haunting me. It kept me up at night writing, and I was having my friends read it and waiting anxiously for their feedback. I loved it - loved writing it, loved hearing what they had to say about it, loved every part of it enough that I was forgoing all my other hobbies just to write.

That was a unique experience for me. I'd gotten a degree in Creative Writing with the intent of becoming a novelist, but gave up on that dream by the time graduation had rolled around. I hated writing after getting my degree, my love of it all ground out of me by years of being forced to write about subjects I did not give two fucks and a shit about. I'd started half a hundred novels from the time I was in fourth grade until college; after college I didn't write anything for eight years.

I had started writing again in the summer of 2010. I kept writing for a few months during that summer, in spite of everything that was going on - work demands, a toddler running around the house, a pregnant wife, a house that we were doing a ton of work on to sell, selling said house, moving in with my in-laws, and a hell of a lot more.

I wrote in spite of all of this. I wrote DURING all of this. I kept coming up with ideas to advance my plot, ideas for interactions between my characters, ideas, ideas and more ideas. I'd sit at work and write ideas down during meetings - whole chunks of scenes and dialogue. I was a financial services salesperson and trainer; I was supposed to be paying attention.

It got bad. I didn't care about my financial services business anymore, all I cared about was writing. So I started trying to figure out how to become a full-time writer, and looked into traditional publishing (which was the only game I had heard of back then). It wasn't a happy answer I came back with. The short version: Good fucking luck, kid, and don't quit your day job.

A little depressed, I put aside my writing for a few months and redoubled my efforts in financial services in preparation for the upcoming baby. By the time January rolled around, I was twice as frustrated, and I was back on the writing again. I looked for answers to the question of, "How do I become a full-time author?" again, and this time I found something different.

Self-publishing. Amanda Hocking. Joe Konrath. They told tales of copious sales, of massive amounts of money, and of working hard, but being in charge of your own destiny. I found a few other names like David Dalglish and B.V. Larson, and I started studying up to figure out how I could do just a fraction of what they were doing. It took me about a month or so to figure it all out, but I came up with a plan, and on March 5, 2011, I told my wife I wanted to quit financial services and stay home with the baby so I could write in every available moment.

I'll spare you the argument and say that eventually she went for it. So I stayed home with our youngest and wrote obsessively during naps and after bedtime, defraying daycare expenditures for the first year and releasing two books with a third finished by the end of the year. After that, we put both kids in daycare all-day, every-day and I started writing full-time as of January 1st, 2012. I was making a living by the end of September, just after my sixth book came out.

And here's what it took to do it.

1. Be calculating

Whenever I talk about what I do/did as an indie author, I inevitably hear people in the background say, "Ehh, he just got lucky, that's all."

To them I say: I planned for both failure and success, understanding that as long as I did not yield, I could work until some level of success was inevitable. Luck may have vaulted me to way above what I'd planned for, but I didn't count on it and it wasn't required to be able to making a living, which is what I wanted - and what I planned for.

I worked my ever-loving ass off in ways that no one ever saw, spent most of my off-hours in analysis, took mighty risks, gambled a lot of money, time and basically my entire future on my own success, and then watched things work ALMOST EXACTLY LIKE I PLANNED FOR IT TO BEFORE I EVEN FINISHED MY FIRST NOVEL.

You need to constantly assess the landscape by reading about your industry. You need to know about what's going on in the world of publishing, the world of craft, everything about your industry that you  can soak up. Even if it sounds stupid, even if you violently disagree with it, the time you spend learning these things can all weigh in the formulation of your game plan.

Watch the people who are doing it, and try to distill the common denominators of their success. I heard some motivational coach say, "Success leaves clues." No successful author is doing it exactly the same way, but a lot of them are doing similar things.  

A lot of people speak of planning like it's something you do once and forget about.

Are you fucking kidding me? Planning is an ongoing process. Like Sun-Tzu said, your plan ain't gonna survive contact with the enemy (pretty much everything is your enemy, btw, this publishing environment is like Australia) so you have to revise it constantly. Throw out what isn't working, make new plans, revise old ones. My overarching plan (strategy) was this:

i) Write a shitload of books

ii) Get them in people's hands somehow

iii) ?????*

iv) PROFIT!

*(Step iii is actually, "Get them to pay for the next ones.")

It's the little plans (the tactics) - how to get those steps done - that needed changing. And you must assess where you are CONSTANTLY. And it cannot get in the way of your writing. (Starting to see why obsession - #5 - is important?)

I had this basic strategy/plan when I came to my wife on that day in March, and frankly, the strategy hasn't changed in the (nearly) three years since. What has changed are the tactics - the little ways I carried out said plan. Back then the way you carried out ii was through 99 cent pricing. That no longer works the way it once did, so now it's permafree or box sets (or the nuclear option, permafree box sets). (See points #2 and #7).

Caveats/Pitfalls for Point #1:

a) You will need to spend your off hours studying this business the way a horny teenage boy studies every line of the pretty girl in front of him's body while he's bored in math class. (See point #5, re:obsession.) You will need to read articles, journals, blogs, books and possible advice scrawled on rest area bathroom walls. (Jenny - 867-5309 and other assorted bathroom stall wisdom is probably not going to help you, but collect it anyway. Better to have it than not.)

b) If you have no experience running a business of any kind, things will be more difficult for you. I don't know how much. I spent eight years running a business in financial services before taking on this responsibility, and it was like an internship that prepared me for being an indie author. I learned to manage my time, I learned about marketing and sales, about loss leaders, and about picking up the shovel and doing unpleasant work I didn't want to do in the name of staving off working for someone else. I hate the thought of working for someone else. It's a powerful motivator for me. If you don't have motivation to drive yourself, this is going to be tough for you.

2. Write fast

Ingredient number one in the souffle of success is hard work. But simple hard work is not enough; results are key here.

In fact, this is probably the biggest caveat to the whole equation, because if you can't write fast (and a lot of people can't, no shame in that) it might not work for you like it worked for me. I wrote 140,000 words of fiction in my evenings over the course of a couple months while I was still running my financial services business because I was so obsessed with the story I had to tell.  

Some things that *might* help you write faster - writing sprints of 15-60 minutes, reinforced by taking your laptop computer somewhere that has no internet/distractions or using an internet blocking program like Anti-Social or Freedom. Still, if you can't write fast enough to get out four books per year...again, this might not be the plan for you. I'm not dogging on you, I just know what it took for me to get to my present level of success, and I'm not sure what it will take below that level of output. Is it still possible? I'm sure it is. I just didn't plan that way so I can't really advise you.

Additional caveats/pitfalls of fast writing -

a) Make sure you have an error correction process in place. Spellcheck alone is not going to do it. Professional editing would be a great idea.You have to decide what your Quality Assurance process will be, but you need to have SOMETHING in place. Not every reader is turned off by tons of errors in a manuscript, but a lot of them are. These errors take away from your story. They're a distraction. You're fighting the wind instead of using it. Don't get me wrong, there's such a thing as TOO MUCH when it comes to time spent on error correction, but you need to find this balance for yourself.

b) You can write crap to get the words out, but you damned sure better edit/rewrite it until it's professional-grade. I can fix words on a page that suck, but I can't edit a blank page. Make sure your stories are good (See point #4), that they're engaging, that they keep the reader moving through. Get beta reader feedback to tell you where people are putting your books down and try to figure out WHY they're doing it. HINT: They may not know the reason why, exactly. Study craft to narrow it down.

3. Learn business

There's a lot of bullshit out there. Tons of it. Enough to fertilize the entire world. In your opinion, maybe this post is filled with it. It doesn't really bother me if that's what you think, because once I write this post, I'm done with it. I'm not an advice guru, I'm a full-time independent author who derives all his income from selling books, not writing advice posts. So if you don't like the material herein and think it's bullshit, you know what to do with it - fertilize something.

What does this have to do with business? Everything. If you're going to be a full-time independent author, you have to fill your time with things an indie author would do. You also have to develop a really exceptional bullshit filter. You need to seek WISDOM (publishing information) from a variety of sources and develop the DISCRETION (bullshit filter) to decide what to apply and what not to. Some of the things you decide not to apply may not be bullshit; they just may not be a fit for the direction you want to take your career.

For example, discounting. Lots of people run sales on books, run specials on books. I haven't done hardly any of this, with a couple recent exceptions. This particular strategy is NOT bullshit, it just doesn't fit for the direction I want to go with my career. It's a perfectly reasonable business plan that works, just not one I want to employ.

Another thing about business - if you're not able to understand basics of profit and loss, contracts and how they affect you, the concept and application of loss leaders, basics of time management - okay, this is going to be a problem. The indie authoring industry is a place of shifting sands, where things are changing rapidly and what worked yesterday isn't necessarily going to work tomorrow.

What else goes into the business end of things? Tracking sales, choosing vendors, figuring out your budget, figuring out how to grow top-line sales while improving the bottom line by controlling costs, and dealing with the ten thousand assorted land mines that could crop up on a daily basis. Other business activities could include trawling through the data on your bit.ly or smartURL links to determine where you sales are coming from, figuring out which the best venues are for adbuys (I have no comment on this) or networking with other writers and talking shop.

Caveats/Pitfalls:

a) This is probably the least clearly delineated subject in this post. The reason why is because I don't really know how fast you can learn what you need to know. Maybe you've already got all the business  experience you need to start with the basics. Maybe you have no business experience and are starting from scratch. I'm not even sure what all I've learned along the way from my previous career and how much it helped me, at least not in quantifiable terms. I just know it's helped a TON.

b) If you don't know anything about business, that doesn't mean it's GAME OVER, MAN. You can learn. I highly recommend constantly trying to assess your weaknesses and figuring out how to shore those up. A couple areas I think authors struggle with - Time Management/Procrastination and Self-Discipline. If you've got those areas down, good for you. A few books I think might help if you feel out of control or unsure are Kris Rusch's Freelancer's Survival Guide and Brian Tracy's Eat that Frog!  (which is a time management/priority setting book). Actually, I've read a lot of books by Brian Tracy and they've all helped. The Freelancer's Guide is a good starting point, though, for general business basics.

4. Learn your craft

I'm not talking about grammar and spelling. Spellcheck can save you in one of these regards. You do need some basic knowledge of sentence structure, syntax, etc, but a good editor can help you if you're close on that. Grammar and spelling aren't really elements of craft.

Here I'm talking about descriptions, narrative voice, all the components that allow you to take the reader from beginning to end without losing them. There are a LOT of pieces to this particular puzzle, and you'll spend a lifetime working on this if you're serious about it because there's always something new to learn. Still, some fundamentals:

a) Openings

b) Cliffhangers

c) Pacing

d) Character Voice and Setting

Classes on all these topics (and more) can be found online. Make sure you use your bullshit filter to determine whether the person you’re learning from is actually worth learning from.

If you can't afford classes, let me suggest you at least read heavily in these and other areas of craft. There are tons of books on craft from experts out there. I'll try and compile a list to place at the bottom of this post in the comments, but I don't have time for it right now.

Be deliberate, as Joe Konrath would say, considering how best to improve and giving all due thought to how you can employ what you've learned in your next work to make your writing better.  

All craft exercises boil down to one purpose and one alone: HOOK YOUR READER FROM THE FIRST WORD AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO NOT FUCKING LET THEM GO UNTIL YOU'RE DONE.

Everything you learn in craft, from characterization to plotting to whatever is essentially boiled down to the essential storytelling skill of keeping them interested in what you're saying. Find the obstacles in your writing that are knocking people out of your work and shave the rough edges off them as fast as your peppy little fingers can figure out which keys to punch to do so.  

Some things that can help you build your audience - write in a series. Same characters when possible (not EXACTLY possible in romance to keep the same main characters book after book, but in mystery, sci-fi, fantasy, etc, you should do this). Can you build a career writing standalone novels? Yeah, but I don't know how to do it so go find someone who can instruct you in this manner. (see point #7 for more on the benefits of writing in a series.)

Caveats/Pitfalls:

a) Your first million words is (probably) going to suck. I had an advantage here in that I've been writing books since grade school so I expelled a lot of these crappy words during my teens/early twenties the way White Castle hamburgers are expelled from your digestive tract - violently and messily, with much disgust from anyone who witnesses this spectacle.

b) Taken alongside the first caveat, realize that sometimes you're better off jumping series as your craft/ability to hold the reader improves. My first series did not take off the way my second series has (probably because the first book isn't as strongly written/well-crafted with hooks in the first as the second). It doesn't mean I abandoned my first series (in fact it's doing quite well now) but I did put it on the back-burner for the last couple years as I focused on the one that was paying my bills. The first book of my first series was...my first book. Ever. I was still learning to write a damned novel. My craft got stronger and my second series did much better.

5. Be obsessed

To quote Bree Bridges (half of the Kit Rocha writing duo of hilarity and awesomeness), "When I say it's possible to make money in publishing, I'm assuming you've tried the easier things like digging for pirate treasure."

This does not mean it's impossible. It does not mean you can't do it. It just means that if you're just looking to make a living, it's easier to get a job that works you 40 hours a week that allows you to shut off your brain afterward.

You CANNOT do that in self-publishing and expect to have it work. You will need to think about it all the time. Wanting to make your living telling stories has to be the thing you get up for in the morning and the thing you go to sleep at night thinking about.

I wanted to spend the rest of my life telling stories and getting paid for it. I wanted no boss, no schedule but that I set for myself, and I was willing to work 100 hours per week for myself so I didn't have to work 40 for someone else (thanks to L.T. Ryan for that quote).

6. Market

Lots of people have different definitions for this. I have only one - help people who are looking for a book like yours to find your damned book. You can call it visibility, you can call it discoverability, you can call it the gorram hillbilly rock for all the fucks I give on the subject.

How did I market? One way, and one way only, pretty much. I wrote in a series that had an overarching story, and I set my first book in said series to free. Permanently. That's right, you can read the first book in my two series for absolutely nothing in e-reader formats. (More on this in point #7.)

But wait, you say! It's now 2017 and that doesn't work anymore. Amazon has come along and killed the permafrees to death using an algorithm attached to a death ray.

Fine. What's the lowest possible price you can get as many of your books to? Do that and see how many copies you can give away. No, I don't care if you've got a ten book series and you're selling 9 for 99 cents in order to collect full price for that last one. If that's what it takes to move some fucking books, you'll find me there doing it, too. I will race you to the damned bottom, and I feel confident that I can whip the ass off most of the other people there because I'm obsessed, I'm a fast writer, and I have no problem with discounting ridiculous amounts of my backlist in order to get people to TRY - JUST TRY - my writing. I dare you not to read on.

And really, this is all marketing is. I'm trying to expose the readers who will LOVE my books to...MY BOOKS. Some will merely like them, but keep reading. Some readers will get caught up along the way and only somewhat enjoy my books. Maybe they'll read more, maybe not. A certain percentage will dislike my books. A certain percentage (hopefully small, if I've done my craft job correctly) will absolutely DESPISE my books and want to flame them in perpetuity with bad reviews and bad word of mouth. This number is baked into the cake of success, so get used to it. I want AS MANY OF THOSE HATERS to read my book as possible, because if they're reading it, so are the people who will love it.

Marketing is just finding ways to get those people exposed to your books. I don't do interviews, blog tours, (or blog posts, really), Twitter spamming, etc. I did it my way - permafree and having enough reviews to get the big sites like Pixel of Ink, E-reader News Today, Bookbub, Indie Book Bargains in the UK - to give me some signal boost so my books could go up the freebie charts. Kobo has given me a helping hand before as well, getting visibility on their site. I didn't ask for it, they just gave (and I'm grateful for it). Ultimately, though, none of these things would help me if I hadn't set the damned books free and gotten enough positive exposure to push them up to where people could find them.

Exposure. That's the magic word. And I don't mean the kind that gets you sent to jail for indecency, so put your pants back on. (Until you're a full-time writer, then pants are optional.)

7. Don't be afraid to give your work away for free

Between 11 April 2012 when I released my book Alone: The Girl in the Box, Book 1 and when I set it free in September 2012 some five months later, I sold 42 copies of it through all channels. In August I released books 2 and 3 in that series, ended up making four figures that month for the first time, five figures in November, and I've never even come close to a four-figure month since.

Would that have happened if I hadn't set Alone to permanently free? I doubt it. Sales weren't even moving in the right direction on it before I set it free to boost its exposure. The month before it went free it sold 3 copies. Since then it's been downloaded some 320,000 times for free and generated some 100,000+ paid sales for the rest of the series (almost all at $4.99 or the foreign equivalent).  

There are two ways to look at those numbers - the first is to say, MY GOD, YOU MISSED OUT ON 320,000 SALES, ARE YOU MAD?! The answer is no, not really, because I've probably only missed out on the 3 sales a month I'd have generated without the additional visibility brought on by Alone being free, and I traded it for a boatload of money in the form of subsequent sales. That's not even counting all the people who finish reading the Girl in the Box series and move on to the other books I've written, because there are those people, too. (And I love them. My truest fans.)

That's the second way to look at it. The thought that follows is, "if only I could give away MORE copies for free, I'd be able to push that paid number to 200k+ or 300k+." (Which I'm working on).

Let's talk about the emotion of this for a moment. It hurts to set your beloved book free. It's painful to drop it to a low price. But a recent survey of successful indie authors found that something like 85% of those making over $500k per year had at least one permafree. Look for commonalities, right?  

Whatever promotion hurts you the most will be most appealing to your readers. (That's according to one of the most awesome gurus of the indie movement, Edward W. Robertson.) I agree with that statement wholeheartedly, which is why this morning I started the process of setting my two biggest sellers - Untouched and Soulless, books 2 and 3 in my Girl in the Box series - to FREE. Why would I do that? Because I'm thinking even if I go from 3:1 freebie to sale ratio, if I could give away a million of those free (because of the added appeal of 3 BOOKS FOR FREE OMG DEAL) and it drops to a 5:1, I've still sold 200,000 more books. Boom.

It hurt when I set my first two books free, but it gets easier every time. And yes, it even hurt when I was selling a couple books a month, because I put blood, sweat and tears into those books, making them as good as I possibly could. However, their true value is not in the price on their cover; it's in how much money they're making for the author. After all, I'm not in this to make $10 per book; I'm in this to make a living. Free is just another tool in the toolbox for making that happen.

Caveats/Pitfalls:

a) Maybe your book isn't appealing to readers (NOTE: I DID NOT SAY YOUR BOOK SUCKS. Though it may. I don't rule that out, having not read your book. It may be sucking the balls of every donkey in the shire, for all I know. But maybe not.)

If this is the case, a few things will happen - once you get to about thirty reviews, you'll probablyknow it it's not appealing to readers because your review average will be low. What's low? If you're below 3.5 on 30 reviews on Amazon.com, it's not a good sign. (Caveat to the caveat: Whatever you do, don't read the reviews for your work on Goodreads. This will not be helpful to your career - or your mental health, in all probability. And definitely don't base any judgments about what to do in your career on Goodreads reviews. Goodreads reviews skew much lower than Amazon, and as far as I'm concerned, anything above 0.1 on Goodreads means I'm doing aight.)

Again, just to be plain, for bad reviews - does it mean your book SUCKS? No, not necessarily. It means that for whatever reason, it's not CONNECTING WITH READERS. Which is the name of the game to make a living. Creating pure and beautiful art is the province of people who don't have any outside concerns (and don't write genre fiction). Us lesser mortals (aka Genre writers) have to get by on the time, energy and money we have.

I would never tell you to base your career decisions on one or two reviews, but if you've got 30 reviews on Amazon and half of them are 1-stars...you're going to have a hell of time getting even a permafree enough exposure. It may be time to jump ship to another series, and possibly another pen name depending on how bad it looks.

Writers are terrible judges of their own work, and the authors who most need to be told their work sucks would still think it's awesome even if they're running a 1-star average on 5000 reviews while an author who writes amazing work tends to bash their own brains in because they got their first 1-star after 9 5-stars in a row. (Another point, which I'm going to say only once here - In the words of Troy McClure, "Get confident, stupid.")

b) Maybe you're in a genre that's not selling. Maybe it's awesome, but it's in a genre that Bookbub is ignoring. (Sorry, Bria!) That can happen. If you can, pick a popular genre. I'm not telling you to defile  your art (or whatever), but I was fortunate in that the stories I wanted to tell more or less fit into a reasonably decent-selling genre (Fantasy). If you write second-person POV octopus mysteries, your mileage won't just vary - it will suck. Even if your book is awesome.

8. Never stop learning

Things change rapidly.  If you're not constantly paying attention and reading industry blogs/keeping up with the goings on through some form of peer group with its ear to the ground, you will miss opportunities. You will miss landscape changes. These can be subtle (the slow death of Amazon Select - actually, know what what? That wasn't all that subtle) or obvious (I dunno. The caffeine is wearing off. Find an example on your own.) Either way, you'll lose out.

I had my plan, I had my basic strategy, and I started to make money in September 2012. I could have coasted, thinking I had my shit together. Instead, around October or November, I made an enormous change, one that felt like a pain in the ass to implement, but that has made enormous difference in my career.

I implemented a mailing list with links in the back of my books.

I didn't fully finish implementing this until February 2013 (and I kick myself for failing to do so) but HOLY CRAP does it make a different. If you're wondering what I'm talking about with a mailing list, go read THIS POST on Kboards by my friend SM Reine. I'll wait for you here until you get back. Make sure you read her follow-up posts as well, down the thread.

This single change is revolutionary. If you're waiting for your audience to come find you every time you release a book, you're basically throwing your baby into the waiting wolves of the Amazon algorithms. Want to make a bigger splash? Want to "game" the system? Get your damned fans to all buy your book at once. It'll make a bigger splash. If you have half a dozen cherry bombs and you light them one at a time, it's like launching a book with only social media to inform your audience. Pop. Pop. Pop. Pop!

Get a mailing list together and send that puppy while you're informing your Facebook and Twitter, and it's like wrapping those cherry bombs together to create a stick of dynamite. It can help you push your new release up the genre list and garner you exposure for your entire series. "Oh, look, book #9 of this series looks interesting. I should go back and read book #1." Boom, you hooked a new reader. And best of all, once they sign up for your mailing list, they're added to the dynamite for future launches.

If you're going to go to the hard work of writing and releasing books for a living while you're trying to build an audience, don't be yutz by skipping the last steps to success. Find a way to make it easier for readers to hand you money. Make it simple for them to know you've got a new book out.

Don't get stuck in marketing like it's 2009 and you can just format a warm turd into a .mobi, price it at 99 cents and have an Amazon Bestseller. ( #1in the Fiction -> Fantasy -> Turds & Burglars category! Oops, sorry, they eliminated that category in the great 2013 category shuffle. Which you would know if you were paying attention.)

Never stop learning. Or you'll get your ass beaten by someone who's figured out something you haven't.

Caveats/Pitfalls:

a) Honestly, no matter how much you're learning, you're going to get caught flatfooted by big changes every now and again. Try and limit how often this happens by keeping your fingers on the pulse of the indie author world (and off other places - you will go blind, dammit, STOP THAT).

b) You're probably going to get your ass beaten by people anyway, so you might as well be a good sport about it. Be honest: from where you're sitting right now, if you were suddenly selling a million books per month at $2.99, would you be happy? What if you were selling that many but you were still #1,987 on your category's Author Ranking?

Put another way, who cares what your peers are doing if you're meeting your goals? Focus on you, because you can't control what others are doing, you can only learn from it and apply it to your own career if it fits.

9. Don't be afraid to fail BIG - and find a way to use it as a stepping stone for future success

My first year as an indie author (2011) I made $12.25. I actually earned more than that, but because of the limitations on how big your earnings need to be before they cut a check, that's all I made. I never cashed that check, and it's still sitting on my desk right now (which is how I knew the specific amount).

That's kind of a big failure, isn't it? Would you be happy earning that much for your year's labor? Whatever your answer (please say no), realize that I was expecting that, so I didn't get disappointed when it happened. The game I was playing was long term, and I was aiming more for growth than anything. I was excited when I went up to 25 sales in a month, and I didn't get all bummed out and pissed off and demotivated when I sagged the next month. New releases and promotions help push you up, but there's a natural sag given time.

Another "failure": I launched a book last month, a collection of short stories in my Sanctuary Series. Thus far it's sold 468 copies, and at a lower price than I usually price my work. Whoops. I wrote a short story collection in my lesser-selling series and it bombed. This isn't a huge surprise or anything, but it's a failure. I'm not going to go crying over it, but you can bet I'll think long and hard before I spend my time writing another short story collection.

Of course, here's the biggest one of all: Every month before I started making a living was a failure, really. It was a calculated failure, but it was a failure nonetheless. We were sinking money into daycare costs, losing time for me to go get a degree in something that would pay me (with an English degree and financial services experience, I don't have a great resume). I was willing to accept as many of those failures as it took to cross through to success. My wife, however, was not going to wait forever.

Every month (even now) I do an autopsy on my calendar. What did I do right this month? What did I do wrong? What can I improve? (I also track my wordcount, sales, and number of books presently for sale.) My entire career in finance ended up as a failure, but that doesn't mean I didn't take away a ton of salvage for use in this one.

Comb through your fuckups. Often times you'll learn more from those than your successes.

Caveats/Pitfalls:

a) When you start to see some success, don't be a fucking idiot and stop working. Work twice as hard, because now you know your strategy is doable. I worked even more in 2013 than I did in 2012 because now I was 100% sure I was on the right track. I'm going to see if I can beat what I did in 2013 this year.

b) I think this probably goes without saying (but I'll say it anyway in case any of you are morons): don't go into something TRYING to fail. Unless it's low risk/low loss. Assess the amount of time/energy/money you're going to sink into something before you commit to it if it's got a high failure rate. Don't waste your time doing stuff you're almost certain is doomed unless it's like five seconds of your time. And don't get bummed when it goes to shit, expect that in advance and be pleasantly surprised if you get anything out of it.

10. Keep writing

I think I'm exhausted and the caffeine is wearing off, so I'm going to make this as quick as I can. If you're the type of person who's easily discouraged, this is going to be tough on you. If you're the type of person who flits from job to job always looking for the "better deal" or the "next thing"...you're probably not going to have much success here, either. If you're not okay with spending ten hours per day hammering at your writing career on various fronts for a while without much of a vacation or break...I don't think I can help you. If you're not bursting with excitement at the stories you have inside that SIMPLY MUST BE TOLD, I'm not sure this career thing is going to be the right fit.

But if you're dedicated beyond the capacities of most humans, if you're obsessed, and you're smart, and you're willing to learn and do whatever it takes (on this side of the legal and ethical bounds please, you Frank Underwood, you) to build a backlist and get your books in front of people, you can make a living as an indie author. Will it be huge? Maybe. Will it be minimal? Maybe. I don't know. There's some definite variance in mileage between writers, but I've seen enough of them MAKE A LIVING to know it's possible if you approach it correctly and you're willing to work hard enough to make a one-armed paperhanger look idle.

Once you've got all these other points down, it's really down to you to keep writing. Keep putting books on your bookshelf. Take the hits that will come and do not stop tapping keys on that keyboard. I don't know how long it will take you to get there, I honestly don't. Personally, I didn't care how long it took. The eighteen months it took for me passed like nothing because I was having the time of my life.

This isn't the lottery; there's not just one winning ticket. There's really no luck involved either, just an obscene number of things that are outside your direct control. There are so many things you can do to  influence these events, though, and I've outlined as many of them for you as I could here. I probably missed some; I'm kinda tired by now, and it's my day off.

The bottom line is that if you *really* want to be a full-time indie author, I think you can do it. Will it be easy? FUCK NO. If you're looking for easy, scroll back to that paragraph with Jenny's phone number. This will be a lot of "nose to the grindstone."

But will it be worth it?

In every year of my financial services career, I interviewed people looking to hire them. I'd listen to their stories, hear them talk about their work lives. Every day I did that, I put myself in their shoes and imagined what my life would be like if I had their career. Sometimes I'd shudder, sometimes I'd wonder what it'd be like if I'd made the choice to do what they did. Sometimes I'd wish I had. A lot of times I wished I had. Especially when things got bad.

Since the day I started to write full-time, I have never once imagined myself as anything other than a writer. I have never wanted anyone else's life or job for my own, and I have never wanted to be anyone but me. I've maybe wanted to have other authors sales numbers if they're doing better than me, but I've never wanted to swap anything else.

I don't want to do anything else but what I'm doing. I love this gig. It's the best job I've ever had. Last year I went to England for a week to research a novel and meet some fans. Had one of the best times of my life. In January, it got damned cold here so I picked up and took the kids to Florida for a week to hang out with my parents and go to Disney. Sure, they just went last October, but you only live once, right? (I also wrote something like 12,000 words on a book while I was on "vacation" so...)

For me, it was worth it. It was everything I'd ever wanted and when I got here, it was everything I'd dreamed of plus more. I guess what I'm saying is, if you're the kind of person who wants it that badly, who's willing to do what it takes to do it, I hope this helps you.

Keep writing. That's the last key. Through the bad times, and the good - hopefully it'll mostly be good, but you better plan for the other. If you want it bad enough that you're willing to put in effort in these areas, you can do it. If you're hating every day of it, though, then it's probably not for you, and there's no shame in that.

What being a full-time indie author basically boils down to is that you keep writing, because you love it so much you can't stop. No caveats. No pitfalls. Just a love of writing that won't ever let you quit.

(Editor's Note: There is no editor and I'm sure this post is riddled with errors. Fuck off and go write, okay? I'm going to go play Titanfall.)