#revsaysshit🔆

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So we got our first anon hatemail. I will not be going over the exact details of the message, but it strikes me as funny (strange) that they went to Marcy's account, saw something they didn't like and sent hatemail to our main. Isn't that so much more work? So many more buttons to press? Why go out of your way to hate someone, doesn't it tire you?

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@funnier-as-a-system

*looks at myself*: yeah that checks out

not to go all cringe on main but fictional characters have genuinely helped me through some of the worst shit in my life n i’ll forever be grateful to fiction for giving me comfort when i’ve needed it most

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Fuck having both dyscalulia and dyslexia at the same time. But specifically fuck having dycalculia. Not being able to conceptualize (is that the right word?) a number properly sucks. For example, if someone were to say to us, "Picture three meters," the distance we imagine might look more like two meters or six meters.

I'm tired and barely coherent, but this has been an update of sorts.

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So we're finally able to have anxiety meds, we start them very soon, and I think this is close to the happiest we've ever been. The thought of it alone has given us a ton of energy.

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Currently fronting

Do not send dm if not following, you will be blocked

Do not follow if you’re not genuinely interested in us as people/the content of this blog

WILBUR SOOT SUPPORTERS ARE NOT WELCOME HERE. IF YOU SUPPORT ANY ABUSERS, YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE. (some alternatives to lvjy/wilbur)

This user is bound to:

Feel free to dm/ask for our discord, we don’t bite

System blog for rambles and other cool stuff so we don't drown in our own reblogs: @the-tenants

Headmate blog masterlist because we lost the original post:

Dirk: (fictive, host): @dirk-fucking-strider

Mouse: (Wilbur factive, has nothing to do with cc Wilbur): @notsootings

Bonnie: (Fictive, resentment holder, anger holder): @bonnieyourebarelyalive

KARKAT: @cg-carcinogeneticist

Dave: @tg-turn-tech-god-head

Lazarus: (Davesprite fictive, trauma holder): @avicularafterimage

Tavros: (Fictive, symptom holder): @scio-sweet-heart

Kestrel/Kay (MH Jay fictive): @condemnedtoeebydeeby (tag for main blog posts: #kestrelpostsonmain)

Tristan/Tris (EMH Jeff fictive, co-host): @narrativesfavorite

Moth: (SCU!Tommy fictive): @wantahumanbodyahumansoul

Tango: (double life fictive): @atangoofthetekvariety

Cas: @caspianshortforcas

Marce (adventure time fictive): @marcysbasscave

Grian (third life, double life fictive): @peskybirdinc

Watcher (watcher!Grian fictive): @ceaslesswatching

Purp (dream smp fictive): @purpledspaceship

Warp (c!Karl dream smp fictive): @amnesiaishisname

Dima: @dimaischaoticneutral

Tommy (dream smp fictive): @tommyisrlytrying (tag for main blog posts: #tommysaysthings📀)

Tubbo (dream smp fictive): @ohmygodsilovebees (tag for main blog posts: #beeboysaysthings🐝)

Rev (Revivebur dream smp fictive): @imalivedimrevived (tag for main blog posts: #revsaysshit🔆)

Fake (Argbur (burhouse, editor wilbur arg, void arg) fictive):

Atlas/Techno (C!Technoblade dream smp fictive, protector): @bruuuuuuuuuuuuhwastaken

Theseus/Theo (Clinic!Tommy fictive): @theseuswuzhere

Siren (Clinic!Wilbur fictive): @flighttofthecrows

Mal (Bad Boy!Grian fictive): @badsadboy2

Juro/Jay (dream smp c!quackity fictive): @allmyplansareass (tag for main blog posts: #jaysaysthings🦆)

Lucio/Luz (dream smp pogtopia era c!quackity fictive): @luzertocalaguitarra (tag for main blog posts: #luzersaysthings🎸)

Sev (Gen Loss!Ranboo fictive): @whatthejesuschristwas--that

Pearl (DL!Pearl and HC!Pearl fictive): @moonwitchmoth

Grem: @gremlinshitnanigans

Kris (Deltarune fictive): @kris-the-humans-word-stuff

Blue (DSMP Ghostbur fictive): @subterraneanhomesickghostblues

Bird (Yandere Highschool Grian fictive): @imnottaurtis

Samgladiator/samgladiator supporters DNI, especially with Bird’s account.

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YouTuber, agender, and dumpster fire

i just found out merriam webster has a time traveler feature that tells you some of the words that were “born” the same year as you. it’s pretty neat yall should do this

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I told the body's family (we're latino by the way so this was extra horrifying) about this and the reactions were "Nooooooo" and "There's a special place in hell for [the maker of the burrito]"

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

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Prev are you ok, you reblogged this and it's september/lh

o7

Happy L’manburg Independence Day, everyone!

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Rebloggin on a tuesday bc why not

4 days until wet rat wednesday

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YOOOO?!

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I—

I’m going to go be normal about this. Yeah. Totally. (Lying)

HELLOOOOO????

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ours was the joy to the world version

kinda dropped the idea after i was like 6 years old but we need to fucking kill Barney guys

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(directed at prev) No! No voy a dormir!

everyone STOP going insane. you should be going to BED

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I'm gonna do free glass on the goober smp just watch

Hermit Prank War: Round 3 Match 3

Free Glass (Season 7)

Prankster(s): Etho Victim(s): Everyone

As part of his business venture Shade E-E's, Etho launched a raffle for a lifetime subscription service of free glass. However, the free glass came in the form of light gray stained glass panes, which are completely invisible in the normal inventory UI, spread across the empty slots of storage chests all over the server. Etho then launched an unsubscription service, where Hermits could pay to stop deliveries of free glass.

One Fateful Sign (Season 6)

Prankster(s): ZombieCleo Victim(s): FalseSymmetry, Rendog, Iskall85 (indirectly)

Iskall left False a statue of a chicken with Grian's hair on top of her base, complete with diorite "bird poop" dripping down the side, and proudly signed his work. However, Cleo happened upon the statue before False saw it, and they decided to change the sign with Iskall's name to Ren's instead. The consequences that spiraled outwards from this single act culminated in the season 6 Civil War.

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Hahahaahaha this…I’m wheezing. Also lovejoy. Come to my city and don’t sell out before I can get a ticket and don’t be at a venue im too young for, please and thank you./lh

glad to see lollapalooza is going well for lovejoy

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WHAT? THAT"D BE SO POG

Wanna do a little interest check dhdjdb if I tabled a booth at a con, would you guys be interested :0 (ph)