#reunion dinner is at my place and i slept so long all my cousins were here when i woke up 😭

[fearandhatred]

happy chinese new year eve to me and all the other 4 people on this site who celebrate <3

[zine-ecrit-writes-stuff]

Elizabeth's Birthday

Saturday, the 12th of May 2024

This has been the laziest day of her life since... forever. Elizabeth had have nothing to do all day, even if this was an eventful day, it's really oxymoronic to say that.*

Her best mate, Scorpius, was with her during all the morning since she woke up. She had slept with her girlfriend Lily during the night and when Lily had went out of the dorm, she had let him getting in Elizabeth's Head Girl's dorm and from that moment, Scorp' hadn't let her go away from him until after lunch. During the lunch, him, his girlfriend, Rose (Lily's cousin), Hugo (Rose's little brother), Joseph (her other childhood best friend) and Smith Elsa (her first 'enemy' at Hogwarts then her new friend since last Christmas), they all had offered gifts to her after a house elf brought her birthday cake and she had blown out the (eighteen) candles on top of it.

Then during the afternoon, like all the Saturday before that when there was no Quidditch match, they had planned out a friendly one with a time limit of two hours and a half (because half of the participants had said they had other things to do at 5 PM and they had started it at 2:30 PM). Their friendly matches' rules were like that: first, they had no player limit, then, they had a time limit after a short survey about it before playing, next, they played without the Golden Snitch and the Seeker player and finally there can be as many players as Keeper, Beater and Chaser as there are in the original game but they can be much more as Beater and Chaser —also there no more Houses in their little games.

After this eventful start of the afternoon, at 5 PM, Lily and Elizabeth had found a cosy place by the Quidditch pitch.

— You look really pretty Eli with that glitter under your eyes, Lily complimented Elizabeth while stroking her hand through Elizabeth's hair.

Lily's gestures made her blush furiously. Elizabeth in return, to hide her flustration confessed:

— I love you Lily.

As she finished her phrase, Lily attracted Elizabeth towards her and began to kiss her gently. Then Elizabeth, intoxicated by their kiss, let Lily touch her neck and press her against her. They continued to kiss each other for a hot minute.

— Also, about that glitter makeup, thank you so much for helping me sooner today. I haven't got any makeup since… since a long time ago so yeah, I needed help this afternoon. Oh and, Elizabeth kissed Lily on her cheek before saying: thanks for gifting me that make-up palette and I love you, Lils.

After that little kiss from her girlfriend, Lily, like all the other redheads in her family, had blush vividly and so after Elizabeth had finish to thank her, she said:

— You already said that during lunch, all of that, I know that, honey and I love you too. Can I kiss you again, Eli?

With no word said, Elizabeth leant on her lover and placed Lily's face in her cupped hands and kissed her again softly. Thirty second in their kiss has passed when they decided to give it a twist with a "fight" between their tongues. At the end of their fight, the two girls broke the link between their lips and the youngest one put her head into the oldest’s neck. Then Elizabeth put her arms around her girlfriend and kissed her on the top of her head. They rested happily like this for about an hour, just the two of them enjoying each other’s presences. Some moments, Lily stroked Elizabeth’s thighs and stomach meanwhile Elizabeth petted her head and caressed Lily’s lower back.

Unfortunately for them both, Elizabeth, as the Head Girl, had to do her Head Girl’s chores so she had to go and leaved behind Lily until dinner. The two young lovers stood up and the today’s girl head towards the Prefect Head Quarters for the weekly reunion. As the Head Girl, she wanted to be a little bit in advance in comparison with her classmates and the Head Boy, and also because she could prepare the reunion.

The meeting begun as soon as the others arrived. As the end of the reunion, they have discussed about all the house points they had given and taken, the different punishments they had prescribed and the different activities they had planned before and after this hour. Elizabeth and Adam thanked the Prefects for their attendance and their respect of the rules of Hogwarts.

— It’s your birthday, today, I can tidy the room alone, Adam suggested to her as she had begun to clear up directly after Elizabeth stood up.

As the Hufflepuff said that, the Slytherin had stop her moves and she stared at him with a look in the eyes that would have killed if it was possible to kill with a glance.

— Thanks for your stupid Hufflepuff charity but it’s unnecessary! If we clean up together, we can be on time for dinner. Also, we can be with our respective lovers.

— I… I don’t… I don’t know… I haven’t… Okay, I may have a ‘lover’ but I—

— I know it’s Joseph, he had tell me yesterday morning. He’s really happy with you, you know? He had confessed me that he can tell you about anything and you’ll support him. So thank you for that.

During her said, she had give him the signal to start cleaning up again. Their little talk lasted while they were cleaning the rest of the table and putting the students folders away in their shelves. After one last scan of the room, the two students walked out of it and head towards the Great Hall for dinner. They were on time for it because as soon as they passed through the door, all the meals popped out.

— Bon appétit, Elizabeth, see you on Monday if we not met tomorrow!, Adam greeted her.

They went to their respective house table as she agreed with what Adam had said. Elizabeth went to her table and sat down next to Lily, with Lily on her left side. They always sat like that so they could hold hands while eating their own meals; Lily was left-handed while Elizabeth is right-handed.

Elizabeth was happy to finally have dinner in the Great Hall with Lily —and the others... But mostly with Lily.* Since the “announcement” about their couple (also technically Elizabeth’s coming out), no one had left them alone except during the night —because Lily had slept with her in her Head Girl’s private room. This “announcement” was ten days ago during the commemoration of the Hogwarts Battle and the celebration of the victory of the Chosen One and his side.

Ever since their school year had arrived at Hogwarts, the professors had accepted to give them permission to sit with other Houses during breakfasts and lunches but to maintain the idea of the Houses, they hadn’t accepted it for dinners. In consequence, Elizabeth was just with Rose, Joseph and Lily as her best friends and the other Slytherins at their table.

— What did you have discussed at your Prefects’ reunion?, Rose asked Elizabeth.

— Oh, you know, the usual things, like the points each of us had gave and lost to different students and the punishments Adam and I had gave… Elizabeth answered her weary. Oh and also, about the different things we had planned before and the things we want to plan for the students.

During her reply, Elizabeth served herself some pastas again.

— Sorry to ask, Lizzy but—

— Don’t be sorry for asking Jo… don’t ever be sorry for other things like that, “Lizzy” smiled at Joseph “Jo” Nott.

— Oh, you’re right but… hmm… did you talk about something during your little reunion?

Elizabeth though about it for ten seconds then she knew what her friend talked about.

— Hmm… yeah, Adam and I… we had talked about… Lily and you.

— Honestly, guys, we don’t have to be very smart like me, Rose bragged flapping her hair above her shoulders, to understand that you two are talking about Joseph and Adam’s couple. On top of that, everyone knows about Adam and you, maybe apart from Albus… Yeah, maybe only Albus, but that’s on him.

— Why did you have to talk that much every time you open your damn mouth, my dear cousin?!

The four of them continued to discuss throughout their dinner with sometimes, the two cousins quarrelling with each other on random topics, sometimes the two childhood best-friends disputing about whether or not both of them had to speak out and be self-confident.

When Rose saw Scorpius stood up with the other Gryffindors, she ended their talk and followed her boyfriend. That was the signal for everyone to exit the Great Hall and most of the pupils though they had about one hour and a half before the curfew and that they would take advantage of the opportunity to do what they wanted.

The trio, composed of the Head Girl, her girlfriend and her best-friend, walked out of the Great Hall and towards the House of Slytherin together. They sat down in one of the corner of the green and silver room and chatted up friendly until curfew. Then the two girls said goodbye to the young boy and left him for going in the birthday girl’s room.

As soon as they closed the doors, they headed quickly towards the bed of the Italian girl and as soon as they were both on the bed, they begun to kiss passionately. The youngest of them had her hands around the oldest’s waist and Elizabeth had one of her hands in Lily’s neck and the other caressed the cheekbone of Lily’s face. After two minutes —that Elizabeth perceived as ten minutes— into their kiss, Lily invited her girlfriend to rest her head in her neck and they started a small talk:

— Did you have a good day, my dear?

— It was a really long day, I’ve do what I wanted and also it was a really very lazy day, Elizabeth replied with a little of tiredness in her voice. But in general, it’s a good day, she smiled at her lover.

— Lizzie, other than my gift, what was the best one? And who gifted it to you?

— Hmm… I think… I really like Scorpius’s gift —also because it was Jo’s idea. You know the “100% space Pass”: with the tours of the ESA, Greenwich’s and Pic du Midi’s observatories, a 0G flight and I’ll also get to see the take-off of a spaceship I’ll choose later. It’s not really a pass because I’ve got the different tickets and special favours to the different access…

And with that sentence, she begun to talk about anything related to her gift(s) and to space with no interruption of her girlfriend. The next day, the two girls would be laughing and remembering about that time Lily hadn’t stopped talking about potions until the very morning. But this time, both of them had begun to whisper as they became more and more tired until Elizabeth fell in the arms of Morpheus and let herself rest in the arms of her lover as she caressed her hair and shoulders. As for the redhead young girl, she would fall asleep ten minutes after her dark-head lover.

-----

* these two sentences were written one year ago and after some times dealing with my mental health, I came to writing during the 2nd half of April 2021.

Also, if someone saw mistakes/typos 😊 please tell me

[kyemeruthie]

Halloween weekend

It was a different kind of "scare" for me this year. I had to face to the "ghosts" of assignments past as we head on the penultimate month for 2021.

***

Day 2 - October 30

A bit of a lazy Saturday. I woke up late, enjoyed breakfast and then tried to read the assignments due. I got as far as understanding what to do and trying to look for a large dataset for our BI class. Ended up watching episodes from Mr. Sunshine. I'm near the end of the series so I am more intrigued about how it would all turn out. This is one of those shows I refrained from reading episode guides, shows how much invested I am in this historical drama.

I changed my exercise routine to a dance workout. Probably more enjoyable than just doing mountain climbers and jumping jacks. It was indeed. I completed a 40-minute Just Dance 2020 pop song playlist in sweat mode. Reached 4500 steps too. Not bad for burning the calories.

We had chicken parm and potato salad for dinner. I don't understand why we have bigger meals at night compared to our light lunch. Anyway, always grateful for free food. At 7PM, I got to join our small group and by 12MN, sleep time.

***

Day 3 - October 31

Woke up late again. I opened my laptop to look for our church online service but was sidetracked by a comment yet again from the usual "elders" who "attack" my Facebook posts about Philippine politics. I placed them in parentheses because the elders are actually church members whom I respect but quite weirded out times by their political opinions. The attacks are either snarky comments or super-long rebuttals to my statuses. I often get tired reading them so I choose to disengage. On this particular morning, I chose a bit of "violence." I replied to the elder's comment and debunked the whole logic of his assumptions. He later on clarified his position, but I am already drained mentally so I just ok'd it. Did this before and after the Sunday Service. Sorry, Lord.

Anyway, the service was ok. I failed to join Sunday School. While eating lunch, I tried talking to myself into doing the BI assignment. I promised to do it after watching some episodes of Big Bang Theory. Ended up finishing the 3rd season and reaching halfway the 4th. Way to go, self.

Parents called and they were planning to visit my aunts in Laguna then swing a short visit to the graves of lolo and lola. Undas is eerily different today than before. I actually like this holiday. It's a laidback and less stressful family reunion than Christmas. Ehh, but covid changed that. We used to play patintero with my younger cousins at the cemetery or explore colorful graves at Laloma. Gatherings are not allowed for Undas since last year. I wonder how the dead are faring now that their usually festive days are not around the corner?

Watched some behind the scenes of the SMTown Halloween, tried to write assignment stuff again, then after the parents called for our nightly devotion, slept.

***

Day 4 - November 1

Undas. No classes. Spent the rest of the day writing Part A of our BI assignment. I am still internally complaining at the tediousness of this class requirement. I don't understand why we have to do lab assignments then written assignments then simulation assignments, and finally an exam in the end. It's taking too much of my time away from equally important stuff to learn. Anyway, I'd still do it. So here goes.

I finished part A by end of day's work. Danced all the stress away with another pop playlist from JD 2021. Yesterday, I did the Kpop playlist. I am still a stiff dancer, hand-feet coordination be damned. But I'm really enjoying it. Looking for other playlists to dance in the next several days.

No rice for lunch or dinner. At night, I watched this documentary about Hillsong Hell from 60Minutes Australia. I've always wondered how fellow Christians feel when these kinds of scandals break out. I feel outrage at the system especially those church authorities who are not doing anything. It takes a lot of courage to speak against injustice and the only thing we can do is be silent. Hay. What the pastor interviewed in the docu said was right: when Jesus sees injustice, he stops everything he's doing, reaches out to the oppressed and does everything to make it right. The church isn't doing anything like that. And I've heard the same stories from other churches. I hope nothing like that happens in our church, and if it were, then I pray that we do what Jesus would rightfully do.

After that docu, I resumed my Mr. Sunshine binge. I'm almost at the tailend, episode 21. Last three. I want a happy ending but I guess the fact that Go Ae-sin reminds herself that the three English words she first learned were "gun," "glory," and "sad ending," then we should expect the same. This is really topnotch drama. I hope we can do the same in the PH. Full review once I finish it.

Slept at 12MN yet again. Tomorrow's swab day. Also, BI classes. Akk. Hehe.

[pugnaciousd]

Josephine

Josephine.  My best friend on this earth.  You have lived an amazing, blessed life.  I did all I could for you.  You loved your walks and you loved wrestling.  Remember when we used to wrestle and play fight?  I would touch one side of your cheek and you would turn to nip and i would get the other side.  We understand each other on a level that surpasses wordly communication.  When I look you in the eyes our spirits are in sync.  You treat me better than any man can ask for.  We had a perfect life together.  You knew how to cuddle just right.  We could run for hours.  In you over the last 12 years was a tale of one.  A 16 year old greasy long haired pimply boy with a mustache who shaved once a month.  I used to take you out on those cold december mornings before dawn.  I would say go go pee or go go poop and as soon as I said it you would go.  Then I would say good girl and I would kiss you and hug you and then I would live the rest of my day as a teenager and you would live the rest of the day as a dog.  Appeasing the world, doing what I had to do.  You would be home lying around, going from room to room waiting for me to come home.  When I did we would play out in the yard.  Then we would be a boy and his dog and a dog and her boy.  Just like we were in the morning.  The way things were meant to be.  My favorite role to play.  My favorite hat to put on.  Then dinner time and homework.  All my worldly responsibilities.  This is how we passed the next two years.  Then my wordly responsibilities shifted.  It involved me leaving the house and not coming home everyday.  I was at school, playing ball, going to class, going to parties, growing up from a long haired pimply teenager to a 19 year old college athlete.  I was shaving more frequently, I learned to jump higher and run faster.  I got stronger and smarter and I became totally prideful of everything I touched, sports and school alike.  All the time you were home waiting.  Remember when you came up to AIC to visit and you ran around the front lawn and the parking lot?  You were always special to me.  A special kind of dog.  The dog that needed to come visit me at college.  When I was home for the summer it was even better.  A boy and his dog and a dog and her boy.  We would run for hours at this point.  I was in good shape and working out was my full time job.  You kept up the whole way.  We would run the neighborhood, we would run the trails, we would play in the yard.  We would run until both of us were exhausted.  I would try to wear you out till you couldn’t go anymore, sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t.  This was our pattern.  Four years of this.  Everytime I would come home from college I would greet you at the door for about ten minutes.  Bury my face in your fury back and I would kiss you and tell you i love you.  The ten minutes was never long enough.  I would always have to go poop after the long drive and months of pooping in the dorm, but you couldn’t wait outside you would bust down the door and make me pet you while I was on the toilet.  My best friend.  These were a great four years for us.  Even though I wasn’t home every day when I did come home I was full of energy and excitement and I wanted to share it with you and whatever kids were around at the time.  Then one day college was over and I thought it was my time to move out of this country.  I left for china and I guess I didn’t explain why to you good enough because when I left you got sad.  Thanksgiving came and I didn’t come.  Christmas came and still no Danny.  I would facetime you and you could hear my voice but something wasn’t right because you couldn’t smell me.  I was out exploring the world.  Bettering myself as a person.  Seeing things from a new perspective.  Learning stuff I didn’t know there was to learn, making new friends, learning new skills, having my mind blown, day after day.  You put on the pounds.  By the time I came home you blew up like a tic.  I had never seen you like that before.  I guess no one could run you like I did and you had a bad habit of eating the cat food.  But this time I was home and I was home for good.  This was a big fall for me.  I was lost, I didn’t know up from down.  I was in the waiting place.  I wasn’t moving forward, I was staying still and I didn’t know what I was gonna do. You were the only good thing about that time for me.  Sleeping every night on the floor next to my bed.  You said goodbye to me in the morning and greeted me in the evening.  I was coaching, I was at PFEC I was with Matt at Bella’s.  We would run a few times a week.  My only refuge was the woods. The pounds flew off for you but you didn’t have the endurance you once did and on time of that, there was so much weight you started to develop a limp.  We started to take it a little easy.  You were about 8  years old at this time.  Not a young pup anymore.  But you powered through. For a full year we were a boy and his dog and dog and her boy.  But alas my worldly responsibilities called me back.  I had to move to Boston to work and live.  This was a scattered portion of my story.  There was a girl, there was a job.  There were friends.  I was confused.  I forgot some of the more important things in life but I always had you, and our walks in the woods.  I came back whenever I could and whenever I was back in was priority to take you into nature.  Then later that year, Dottie came along.  We love Dottie.  It was a tough transition for me to share my love.  I was used to at least 3 minutes of hellos and goodbyes at the door with you but with Dottie I now had to split my time.  Dottie became your best friend.  She adored you.  Three more animals came into the house and you turned into the matriarch of the animal kingdom.  But my love for you never changed.  I can’t think of any feeling that’s better than wrapping you up with my arms and burying my head into your neck and ear or you burying your head in my embrace as you lean in closer to the scratch.  The smell of you, the feel of you is home.  A boy and his dog and a dog and her boy.  You are home.  After all my travels you are home.  So this part I will surely miss.  I will miss your smell and your warm embrace.  But we have been so lucky.  The amount of beautiful priceless nature we have seen.  The crazy adventures.  The meals we have shared.  But also the love.  Not just between each other but we have mom and dad.  We have our own little Sarah.  Who’s big now.  She could write her own story of her growth reflected in you.  She used to be able to sit on you and now she can carry you.  Now it’s her job to feed you.  When before you were a giant fury beast and you had to try not to step on her.  I can picture her arms wrapped around your fury neck.  Your eyes on a level plain.  Now she’s big.  We have our own Dottie.  Your sister, your playmate.  The one you wrestle with while I’m away.  She would keep you in shape and metally sharp.  THen we had our visitors.  We have our ziggy and our teddy, who have only known you as a legend in the household.  The animal matriarch of all the hatchlings that followed.  Your cousin Miley who is your closest peer.  Auntie Rita and Steve, remember all those walks?  All those baths?  Remember when Maple and Pepper slept over while Ruby was being born?  12 years ago Dave was at PC listening to John Mayer.  Now he has a baby.  Remember all those that passed on?  Rosalyn, your big sister.  Calvin your big bro.  We need to appreciate those that have laid the path.  We need to realize the cyclical nature of things.  It’s all brand new to us.  But we are a phoenix from the ashes.  We don’t recognize the ashes as anything other than a part of the world we are given.  We see the world as it is.  But Rosalyn and Calvin they are your fate.  And you Josie,  you are my fate.  We don’t have time left on this earth but we will meet again in the spirit world.  Just as you will be with your predecessors.  But when you do leave I left to attend again to my worldly obligations.  The last time we will be apart.  The last step in our cycle of separations and reunions.  Until we meet again to become a boy and his dog and a dog and her boy.  

[allwritealreadysaysbliss]

For Now, Chicago

November 6th would have been my 10-year anniversary in Chicago. But at the end of October, I moved back to LA, where I grew up, just two weeks shy of this deca-milestone. 

The 6th came and went like it always does: the day passes and some time the following week, I wake up and think, “Oh! My Chicago anniversary.” And suddenly every dolt husband in every sitcom about marriage makes sense to me. 

I moved to Chicago a few months after graduating from the University of Michigan. I didn’t want to be near my immediate family, and I didn’t want to go to New York where almost every single person I knew was moving. New York overwhelmed me and exacerbated my anxiety. The filth. The crowds. A decision I often worry was a mistake. I grew apart from groups of people who all spent their early 20s living in small apartments they couldn’t afford, eating $20 salads they couldn’t afford, and partying like college never ended. They bonded through survival of The City in a way I will never make up for, though I’ve tried. But for me, then, Chicago felt like the right place to be. I liked that Chicago had the central city feel of New York – a business district, skyscrapers, public transportation (I didn’t want to take it, I just liked the character it added to the city), walkups, a bustling downtown where other recent grads were centrally located – but with the sense of space of L.A. – neighborhoods, manageable driving, people who smiled. The best of both worlds. 

I liked the idea of forging my own path and starting over. I had spent long weekends off school in Chicago with my college roommate, enough to decide I liked it there, and I had some family in the suburbs, a safety net I thought. The city was fun and alert (a tempered version of the indescribable Energy people attribute to NY) and I already knew from Ann Arbor that I liked the generally gentle natures of Midwestern people. 

Often, I think back through my ten years in Chicago (that barely feel like two maybe three); it’s usually around my birthday or New Year’s Eve. I try to scroll through the mental montage of how I’ve celebrated each of these occasions (though I still maintain that birthdays should be a celebration of the mother, not the child), then end up spiraling into the broader memory flip-book of how I’ve spent each year, month, day. And every time, I come to the same place: what the fuck have I been doing for the last (four, five, eight, ten) years? 

I don’t have a concrete answer. I don’t have any of the things I thought I’d find in Chicago – a husband or at the very least, a serious boyfriend, children, a lucrative career. That list we’re “supposed” to have checked off by our 30s is mostly if not entirely unmarked. 

I made friends (the day I picked up my keys to my first Chicago apartment) with a group of med students who entirely composed my social circle for two-and-half years and with whom, I’ve since lost touch. I got to spend quality time with cousins and their kids, and I met and got close to my dad’s first cousins (and their kids and grandkids). I lived alone, I lived with roommates, I lived back in LA in 2011 for five weeks before returning to Chicago for a job as an assistant account executive at an ad agency…my first real job. I shifted paths at the same agency and started copywriting in Chicago. I got laid off from my first real job in Chicago. I found doctors I liked and trusted and have recommended to newcomers. I learned to take the El (a greater accomplishment than I wish to admit, but my anxiety makes crowded, enclosed, dirty spaces unbearable). I got sick…a lot – colds, flus, sliced-open foot from a broken bottle at a bar, strep so severe my tonsils swelled until they closed off my airway. (I was in the ER so frequently that when I moved home for those five weeks, it felt like Chicago had gotten what it wanted – rid of me.) I welcomed and housed old friends who were newly making Chicago their home and said goodbye to those who were moving on. I went to parties. I went to therapy. I went to too many Lollapaloozas. I turned 30 in Chicago. I got to watch most of my friends get married and become parents in Chicago. I signed up for Instagram and (resigned to) online dating in Chicago. I had my first (brief) relationship in Chicago. I struggled with my intimacy issues in my first (brief) relationship in Chicago. I became friends with guys I dated and told a good friend I had feelings for him (for the first and only time) in Chicago. I adopted my cat in Chicago. Her name is Phoebe; she’s perfect. I started, but didn’t finish, a double master’s program in special and elementary ed at DePaul. I completed a post-baccalaureate program in creative writing at Northwestern. I found Yolk, my favorite restaurant. I took a million dance classes, hosted college dance team reunions that slept 15 people in my one-bedroom apartment, and refused to admit I wasn’t dancing anymore, even though I wasn’t dancing anymore, in Chicago. I got drunk and saw concerts and argued with friends and made up with friends and took trips that I returned home from to Chicago. I complained about the weather and the traffic and bills in Chicago. I overshared with “work friends” who then became “real friends” in Chicago. I was in a dinner club and a bromance and found my “market buddy” and my “sister wife” (an altered definition in which I marry a bestie’s brother) in Chicago. I tried new restaurants and ate until I felt sick in Chicago. I struggled with depression so deeply in Chicago, I wondered if anybody would even notice if I disappeared. I felt abandoned by people in Chicago. I felt more support than I’ve ever felt before in Chicago. I accepted help when I needed it most in Chicago. I decided to (and went through two cycles trying to) freeze my eggs in Chicago. I faced my OCD in a way I never had before in Chicago. (I didn’t have a choice. The cleaning and thought cycles became so repetitive, they started affecting my functioning, my relationships, my ability to get to work, my ability to hide it from friends. I considered and tried medication for the first time in Chicago.) I decided fall was my favorite season and pumpkin patching was my favorite activity. I poached friends and sang car duets and ate cheese plates and truffle fries and truffle chickpeas and truffle everything and created inside universes. I laughed until I couldn’t breathe, until my eyes watered, until I forgot why I was laughing. I stole clothes from people in Chicago – a bad habit I’ve always had. I asked an immeasurable number of questions in Chicago. I lost my virginity in Chicago. I had my first heartbreak in Chicago. I created an invaluable family of friends for myself in Chicago. 

And I found improv in Chicago. Almost by accident. Entirely by kismet. Improv changed my life. And when I fall upon the feeling of regret I never lived in New York, I remind myself of what I likely would have missed. I would not have found the people and community I found through improv, the tenets of an art form that are, at their most basic elements, a beautiful way in which to live, the belief in myself that I can do what I’ve always wanted to do. I would not have discovered storytelling or my voice. I would not have found this outlet that has become an integral part of my mental health. I would not have been able to experience my last five years in Chicago with the same sense of novelty. I would not have found myself. When I think of that list of things I wish I had by now, I wonder if it remained unfulfilled because I wasn’t who I was meant to be yet. (I do wish I’d found improv earlier, but what can you do?) 

I became a person in Chicago. 

Thank you to the people who shaped me while I was there and who will continue to be part of the story. 

Chicago will always be home. I will forever be grateful for the space it gave me. And I know, when I need to, I can always rest my head on its broad shoulders and breathe.

[tarasstorybook]

Bad Ideas Part 5

Adonis was sitting through yet another dinner at Lilith's castle when he sensed something off with Tarq, excusing himself rather quickly. Finding his lover was rather easy, though where he found him wasn't exactly what he was expecting.

"You're absolutely insane." Amabiel claims. "You can't do that to people, it's unjust."

"What's unjust is letting an opportunity like this slip through my hands."

"Tarq aren't you going to say anything?" Gaviel looks to his brother, nudging him with his shoulder. Tarq doesn't react to his brother's touch, just continues staring off into the distance as his mind races through possibilities of what would happen. He stopped listening a long time ago.

Adonis snuck through the hideout invisibly, quietly listening in on the conversations he passed until he heard something about three travelers they'd jumped in the forest. Something about selling a magic user for profit. "Tarq." Adonis growled to himself, anger rising in his chest as he followed his scent, pausing just outside the doorway when he heard someone other than the three speaking.

"It seems like he has nothing to say. That's fine, the less back talk the better, go ahead and take those two away." He gestures to Amy and Gav.

"Don't touch me." Amy threatens, already prepared to kick them if need be.

Adonis silently walked up behind the man, pulling a dagger from thin air as the blonde spoke.

"Tarq don't just sit there react or something!" Amy screams trying to get her brother's attention, kicking at the person trying to grab her.

"He seems to have a bit of a glazed look over his eyes." The blond waves a hand in front of Tarq's face. "I don't think-" He was cut off by a sudden gasp of pain, freezing where he stood as Adonis materialized behind him driving a dagger into his back.

"I'm sorry were you saying something..." Adonis grinned wickedly, his purple eyes solid gold in anger.

"Adonis, thank god you're here." Gaviel can't help but smile in relief.

"A second longer and Gav and I might have wound up dead." Amy puts in. "I think Tarq slipped into a coping mechanism and fell inside his own head."

"Yes well," Adonis twisted the blade then removed it, the man dropping to the ground dead. "I have a feeling someone did something stupid to initiate this." He looked pointedly at Amy, his eyes still glowing gold as the rest of his glamour threatened to drop.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time." Amy shifts at his look, avoiding his gaze.

"Tarq come back to us." Gaviel shoves him over with his foot.

Tarq blinks a few times before doing the same thing. "Why would you do that?"

"You slipped from reality for a minute." Gav answers. "Look who's here." He gestures to Adonis.

"Hello erastís." Adonis smiled, his eyes finally slipping back to purple. "It seems I'm your rescuer today."

Tarq's face blushes slightly at the nickname. "How did you know we were in trouble? We must be miles away from any nearby town." He manages to get himself sitting upright again.

"... Tarq, I'm a demon..." Adonis looked at him incredulously.

"Right, I forgot."

"Not that this little reunion isn't cute and all but could we jump to the part where the captives are let go?" Amy buts in. "Out of the three of us Tarq is the only one with iron."

"Ah right." Adonis snapped his fingers and they were all released. "Now if you excuse me, I have some more vengeance to exact."

"Thank gods." Tarq murmurs, rubbing his wrists.

"I think you lost your chance." Gav points at the people running off in different directions.

Adonis laughed darkly. "Oh don't worry, they'll get what's coming to them eventually." He reached out, grabbing something unseen to the others before showing he was holding a glowing red orb. "As for you my friend... well let's just say you're in deep shit."

"Adonis." Tarq gives the red orb a glance before wrapping his arms around him. "Thank you." He mumbles into his shoulder.

"You're welcome love, you should know by now that I'll do my best to protect you. And your siblings." Adonis planted a kiss on his forehead before throwing the orb towards the floor where it went right through. "Incoming!"

"Aaww, didn't know you cared for all three of us." Amy smiles. "Where'd that go?"

"Hell." Adonis responded nonchalantly.

"Oh, well then."

"Can we get going?" Gav breaks in. "I'd like to leave this place before they decide to come back."

"I dunno, our brother seems fairly attached to Adonis at the moment."

Adonis chuckled. "Even if they did come back I'd just send them the way of their friend."

Tarq blushes at Amy's comment and lets go of Adonis. "Right we should get going anyway, hopefully we aren't too far off our path to get to town. But maybe we should take the road and not go through thieves forest."

"Okay I get it bad idea, we’ll take the road." Amy huffs.

"I'll come with you, just in case." Adonis nodded. "It's this way out."

"Sweet, travel buddy." Amy gladly follows him out.

"It wouldn't hurt." Tarq shrugs.

"I suppose not." Gav muses.

"So how have you been Adonis?" Amy asks, trying to make light of the situation.

"Good, I was actually in the middle of dinner at Lilith's when I came. She understands however, you seem to get yourselves into trouble constantly."

"That happens a lot now." Gaviel says.

"Unfortunately we're used to it but it still takes its toll." Tarq tries to flex his magic but it's faint, he didn't know how long he was out for but he still felt tired.

"You need rest dear, it seems you extended yourself too far. You should be more careful, that can have permanent consequences if you do it too much." Adonis looked concerned. "How did you even manage to run yourself out?"

"You'd do anything to protect your own right? Their wellbeing came before my own, I guess I let it take more from me than I meant to. It got to the point where the mark of strength came to life, that eventually ran out too and I just collapsed from pure exhaustion."

"You must not know very good combat magic then. I thought the point was to take out your opponent as quickly as possible and get out without draining yourself."

"I'm a healer not a fighter, I don't know much. Something I know I should fix, I wasn't expecting twenty thieves though. My magic doesn't drain that easily when I have to fight."

"That's not an exaggeration, we were greatly outnumbered." Amy adds on.

Adonis shrugged. "I know some people who might be able to help you. It wouldn't be easy though and they live with a dragon. I'd have to convince them too."

"That's okay." Tarq smiles slightly. "I'm not the only one in our family with magic."

"Really? What do they do?"

"Are you talking about Torquaret?"

"Yes Amy that's who I'm talking about. He's more of the fighter than I am. I'm more of a healer really but I don't think it'd hurt to ask him for help."

"So that's where we were going, I thought it was going to be a supply stock thing." Gav says impressed how Tarq was able to keep quiet about that.

"Who's Torquaret?" Adonis asked.

"He's our older cousin, he has a younger brother Guabarel." Amy explains.

"We used to visit them when we were kids, Torquaret seemed excited to hear that Tarq had magic." Gav adds on.

"Unlike him though I followed the path of healer, and adventurer I guess. He learned how to fight and teaches those that want to learn combat magic." Tarq finishes.

Adonis nodded. "I see, so I agree going to see him would be a wise decision."

"He'll be disappointed to hear Tarq's magic ran out and drained him."

"He'll also be disappointed to hear that you nearly got us killed Amy." Tarq glares at her.

"Guys please." Gav pleads with them. "We just got out of nearly being killed. God knows how long we've been out but it looks like the sun is going down."

"Ah shit, thieves ruin everything." Amy complains.

"Any chance he'll freak out on account of me being a demon? I usually have that effect on people." Adonis questioned.

"No, his brother is part angel so I don't think he'll be too surprised." Amy says.

"Oh look the road." Gav points out. "Guess we're at the edge now."

"Yup." Tarq nods. "I don't know about Torquaret, it's more of we'll see really."

"Then I guess we'll see."

"Yeah, in the meantime we should make camp. Rest up after a stressful day." Amy suggests, already getting started in setting up a campfire.

Adonis shrugged. "Sure. Where are your tents?"

"We're more of star gazers." Amy shrugs.

"It is kind of peaceful at night, the stars are nice to look at." Tarq admits, he was helping Gav set up other things.

".... oh." Adonis chuckled. "Guess I've never really slept outside so I wouldn't know."

"In case of emergency Tarq would help out with that, but since his magic is still recovering we won't be asking him to push it tonight." Gav pauses, rubbing the back of his head.

"You okay?" Tarq looks at him concerned.

"Yeah I'm good, I think we all got hit in the back of the head."

"And then some." Amy grumbles.

"I'm sure you did, and don't worry about me, I'll probably just be up a tree." Adonis chuckled. "I don't have to sleep if I don't want to."

Amy laughs a little at that. "Like a cat."

"Amy." Both of them scold her.

"....." Adonis looked less than impressed at her comment. "You know, you're the one who got them into this mess in the first place. And try to be more original next time, we get called that all the time."

Amy just shrugs and starts making dinner for the three of them. "We got out alive."

"You want help Amy?" Gaviel offers.

"That would be nice thank you."

Tarq sat with his back against a tree and tried to get his magic to shine brighter. His hand glowed but the light was still faint, Tarq sighs and sits back, resting his head against the tree.

"I'm sure it'll come back soon, just give it time." Adonis did his best to reassure him.

"Remember what mom said." Gav reminds him.

"If you've extended your magic give it a day and it'll come back." Tarq repeats. "I know."

"Just eat something and then rest, that's what mom always said." Amy recounts their mother's teachings. "Which is almost ready, Adonis you want some?"

"No thank you, I've already eaten."

"Okay."

"Someone remembered mom's hospitality teachings." Gaviel teases her.

"Shut up Gav."

Tarq chuckles at the two of them go back and forth, it wouldn't be an adventure if they actually went a day without doing so.

Adonis sighed. "Your siblings have a very interesting relationship."

"Pretty sure it's love hate." Tarq says around bites of food. "They've been like that since we were four."

[runawayforthesummer]

This request is from forever ago:

Can we get a happy and cute Ham and Eliza fic? Maybe featuring a baby Philip?

We definitely can!  And here it is!

Takes place in January of 1783 when Hamilton was in Philadelphia and Eliza and Philip traveled to meet him.

For more background, see these letters.

---

Their separation was never meant to be so long.  Alexander had gone ahead of her in the hopes of securing a home for them.  Eliza would bring the baby shortly after.

But then her sisters were sick and returning to Albany and they had not even met Philip yet and he was almost a year.  The idea that they might miss one another was too much to bear. 

Of course, writing to Alexander and telling him she was delayed was worse.

It had to be done, though.  She had to see her sisters after they’d gone traveling for a year.  And they cooed over her son exactly as she expected. 

That first night back, they put their growing number of children asleep and cuddled into the bed they’d shared until Eliza was twenty. 

Instead of whispering wishes for their futures, though, they predicted their children’s.

“He’s going to be a general, your boy,” Angelica had said.  “I can tell.”

“He’ll never have much height to him, I’m afraid,” Eliza had sighed. 

Peggy had reminded her, “Not all men are built like General Washington.”

Angelica had reminded them height did not indicate future greatness, which was something Eliza was intimately aware of whenever she thought of her husband.

“And thankfully he’s already smart and quick and growing quite nicely into a handsome fellow.” 

Eliza sighed at the memory of them giggling as Angelica promised any future daughter to Philip. 

“Neither of you married cousins to avoid that, didn’t you?” Peggy had reminded them. 

“Oh, shush.  That wasn’t the main reason I married John at all!”

“He was a mysterious stranger, Ann.”

“Yes.  Mysterious and a stranger and beautiful and kind.  Not being a cousin is at least fifth on the list!”

“And Betsey?  You chose brother Hamilton for the exact reason, did you not?”

Angelica had poked Eliza’s side.  “Always copying me.”

Before Eliza could replay defending herself, Philip awoke in her lap.  He’d slept so long and she only hoped he wasn’t hungry.  She feared they would not be stopping anytime soon for her to feed him.  They’d made the journey alone, in spite of Alexander’s wishes, but she still waited until they stopped and she could take Philip into a real room to feed him instead of in this carriage.   

Besides, it was teaching him patience.  Her mother already worried Eliza spoiled Philip by always offering herself whenever he made a sound.  Of course, if it were one of her sisters, Eliza supposed she would have agreed with her mother. 

But she could not help herself when it came to her son.  He was hers and he was perfect and his cries tarnished everything.  And she was his mother, wasn’t she?  One day, he would receive all the discipline he needed to make a proper young man.  But not yet.  Eliza was convinced it wouldn’t hurt him yet.

So for every cry, there was a cuddle.

“There, there,” she said, pulling him tightly into her body and rocking him.      

Thankfully, Alexander was the same.  He sometimes was up to fetch Philip during the night before Eliza could.  He was so gentle with him, bringing him to her with so much love.  The way his eyes changed when he looked at their child, watched as he discovered the world, made her want a million more infants with him.  She wanted Alexander surrounded by babies so he’d always have that look in his eyes.

Love.  Love and determination that Philip would have what Alexander did not.

Alexander would whisper it sometimes, his arm tucked around her while Philip slept in his cradle. 

“Imagine all that he’ll have,” Alexander would say, wonder in his voice.

When he came back from Yorktown, sick and thin and worn down, Eliza had been able to take care of him, for he barely got out of bed.  She’d do her needlepoint or even read out loud, which she hated doing (but Alexander insisted he liked it), while they sat together and ate together and barely left their little apartment in her father’s house. 

But then there came Philip and suddenly all Alexander had was energy to work and finish his studying and provide. 

“We cannot stay here forever, Betsey,” he told her when he took the position as a tax collector.  She hated him being gone on little day trips across New York.  It was dangerous and she’d already almost lost him in Virginia. 

It was better when he was home, studying with Philip at his feet and her by his side.  It was astonishing that he could write for hours but she, too, could do her chores for so long.

“You’re very good at your chores, though,” she told him once.

“I match my wife,” he had said back. 

Those were the nights when they didn’t watch Philip sleep and didn’t bring him into their bed unprompted.

But then he was called away again:, to write and to legislate and to bring an end to the war.

Peace felt like such a funny thing now.  It felt unstable, really.  Evacuation sounded nice.  It sounded real.  Peace felt temporary.  But the prospect of it was bringing her to meet her husband and what mattered more than that?

She missed him and Philip did too.  Every night she told her son little stories about his father.  She promised Alexander she wouldn’t let Philip forget and it was the most wonderful excuse for her too.

Eliza had brothers and she knew one day Philip would have no interest in the contents of his mother’s heart.  But now she could tell him all the sweet things his father had ever done and hope they’d seep in so that he might capture a heart so completely one day, like his father had done.

One of the gliders on the carriage pulling them through the snow went over a small snow bank and Philip cried out as they went over it.

Eliza held him closer and wiped his little tears.  “We’re going to see Papa,” she reminded him.  “We’ll be there soon and you’ll get many hugs and kisses.”  Philip clutched at her dress before turning his face against her chest and crying some more.  “He misses you, too,” she promised, kissing the top of his head.

Of course he did.  He wrote her of it all the time and her letters gave detailed descriptions of everything Philip had done that day, all the new things he saw and learned.

She feared telling him he was wobbling around on his feet, though.  Better to let Alexander see it and think it was new for him.  He deserved to have the happiness.

For all the children Eliza had watched grow up, it was amazing how much more it meant when it was hers doing the growing. 

Philip looked up at her, the tears subsiding and curiosity spreading over his face.  As she did with him since the day he was born, she narrated everything.  It felt silly to prattle on so much, but when he was awake, he liked to listen and learn and Eliza liked giving him whatever he wanted.

“I’ve already written to Papa that we are in the Jerseys and we should arrive in Parsippany by dinner time.  You’ll meet relatives there and we’ll wait for Papa to arrive to take us to Philadelphia.”

She hoped it wouldn’t take Alexander long.  His letters were full of aching and her heart wanted nothing more than to be so close to his as to feel it pounding. 

“The post should get to Papa by tomorrow evening,” she told Philip.  “And if Papa comes on horseback, then we could see him in three days time.” 

She and her son smiled at one another.

“Maybe Papa checks the post very often and rides his horse very fast.”

They’d been on the road for five days already, and Philip had been so very good.  She could hold him up to see out the window of their carriage and, as long as she narrated, he was deeply fascinated by the world.  Every animal was an exciting new adventure, every tree full of fantasy.

Everywhere they stopped, Philip garnered much attention, especially in New York where they were able to stay with much of her family.  Eliza felt like she was on a tour to show off her baby.  And nearly every night, she dined with family and anyone important who might be in town.  In Poughkeepsie, she’d dined with Governor Clinton on Alexander’s behalf.  She’d left Philip with an aunt for that outing.

But even when she stayed at an inn and ate in a tavern, Philip charmed those around him and she was proud of how much food he could eat.  He wasn’t even messy.  Well, he wasn’t very messy like most babies.  Only a little, which must be expected of a gentleman so young.

Still.

It was exhausting to anticipate so much, to want so much to be somewhere but have it just out of reach.  That morning she’d slept as late as she could and put in so little attention to her appearance.  It was tiring to care when it would be just her and Philip.  Weary travelers indeed! 

Every day brought her closer to him, but every day until they met was one day more they hadn’t been together.

Once she arrived at the Cortlandts, she’d only be waiting for him to get to her.  No longer would she be making forward movements towards their reunion.  She’d be stagnant, waiting, and with others to take care of Philip so even his entertainment wouldn’t so occupy the remaining days until she was with Alexander again.

She’d have her sewing, of course, and she was making Alexander new undergarments.  He needed them and it would keep her busy and she liked making things that would one day soon be his.  And she liked that it was hers first to make, like their baby. 

“Oh, Philip, I missed your Papa so very much when he was at Yorktown.  It was for much longer too.  But now there is you, and even if for a shorter period of time, it’s so much harder to be without him.” 

Eliza turned Philip so he stood on her thighs.  He grinned at her. 

“You’re too much for me alone,” she said, kissing his little mouth.  Then his cheeks and his nose and his ears.  She kissed him all over until he giggled. 

It was so much harder now that there was Philip.  She wanted Alexander with their family.  Always. 

Alexander loved her and she loved him, but men and women love in different ways.  They loved Philip the same way, though, and she couldn’t imagine being apart from Philip, not until she absolutely must.  It made her ache to think what Alexander sacrificed in being a man, in ever having to be away.

Philip plopped back into her lap and rested his head against her bosom.  Eliza gently stroked the curls at the back of his neck until she could hear the soft sounds of sleep escape from his tiny mouth. 

She looked out the window and knew they were close.  Parsippany was not far from Morristown and that landscape she knew quite intimately. 

She smiled to herself, barely comprehending it had been nearly three years since she took another carriage that brought her to Alexander.  She could remember it all with ease; like how her hands knew stitches, so did her mind know Morristown.  There was no relief she’d ever known like when he told her their feelings matched.  It was like the world finally made sense to her.

She traced her fingers down Philip’s spine and wondered if he could feel the shivers down hers too.  If she vibrated with something, did he too as he nuzzled into her? 

Lost in the thought of it, she barely realized they’d come to a stop. 

“Madame,” their driver said, opening the door to the carriage and offering her a hand down. 

She shifted Philip onto her hip and climbed out of the carriage, the hand of this man so greatly needed once a child grew heavier with sleep.

“Thank you.”

In front of the home stood some of the Van Cortlandts, Her grandmother, Cornelia, had been a Van Cortlandt, but Eliza could barely parse how these members exactly were related to her.

Perhaps Peggy was right and the main attraction to Alexander had been that she’d never have to figure out how closely related they were.

Still, as with all the families of the area, they greeted her and Philip as their own.

“Come!  Come!  Sit and rest,” Mrs. Cortlandt insisted, leading Eliza into a sitting room.  Philip went to the floor where he was given a rattle and a bell was rung to bring tea. 

The other women gathered in the room to fuss over Philip and Eliza had only taken a sip of her tea when suddenly there was a hand on her shoulder.

She knew it was him of course, and her heart was racing before she even turned to confirm his face.

“Colonel Hamilton!” Mrs. Cortlandt said.  “Please sit and join us.  My husband has not, I hope, kept you busy all day.”

Alexander still stood, his hand moving to the back of her neck, fingers delicately curling into the wisps of hair at the back of her neck.  He looked worn since he left her in November, etches of worry sketched on his forehead.  His eyes danced, though, when he looked at her and looked down at Philip.  It was enough to settle her in the moment.

“You’re here,” Eliza said.  He smiled down at her. 

“He arrived last night,” one of the women said.

He moved to sit next to her, the pressure from his hand gone and leaving her wanting. 

“I couldn’t wait,” he said and Eliza wanted nothing more than to take him in her arms and kiss him.  But tea service was brought to him then and the women engaged Alexander in talks of Philadelphia and all their friends there.  He reached for Philip and kissed his boy’s cheek before placing him between them. 

Eliza could barely listen.  She watched him charm the women with his stories, but she couldn’t engage.  She momentarily remembered that she brought a new dress to wear for their reunion, that she’d wanted to look her best after so much time had passed.  Instead, she looked barely decent for the wife of a man like him.

Behind Philip, Alexander’s pinky found hers and she could nearly relax with his touch.  Their ring fingers found one another next, the rest soon after until their hands were clasped behind their son.  No one could see; Alexander continued to tell stories of the Congress, stories she knew masked all his frustrations, stories he’d share the truth of with her later.  His letters betrayed little but his desperation for her hinted that there was little at ease in Philadelphia.  Not that he’d forget her if he were pleased with their activities, just that he hated that much more to be separated when things weren’t going well.  He could write cows in from the sun, but he didn’t best express his true heart that way. 

She rubbed her thumb over his knuckles, soothing him and silently promising she’d listen for hours that night when their bodies curved like commas into one another.

“How long shall you be staying?” one of the women asked, drawing Eliza out of her own thoughts.

“If Mrs. Hamilton would not mind, I thought we might leave soon.  You see, I left in rather a rush to get here and must be back shortly.”  He glanced at Eliza.  “And I arranged for us to make it to Morristown tonight.”

She could die for the way he made her feel.  “Yes.”  For all she’d wanted and felt there while he courted her and then they were engaged, to realize Morristown while married would satisfy some part deep inside of her that could not be satisfied then.

An hour ago she’d been bracing herself to be alone a few days longer.  It was always amazing how he managed to change her world so suddenly.

“Well let us feed you first!”

“Of course.  I’ll freshen up.  We’ll eat.  Then we’ll go.”  She stood and grabbed Philip. He’d need to eat too, and she followed Mrs. Cortlandt towards a private room. 

She’d been there only a few moments when Alexander came in and swept her into his arms.

“Oh,” she said, her hand at the back of his neck, pressing him closer as his arms engulfed her.  Her face found the crook of his neck and the smell of him, the feel of his hair against her fingers, his arms holding her in so tightly, was nearly overwhelming.  Her tears wet his neck.

She kissed that spot then and pulled away to kiss his cheek and then his mouth.  They rocked gently as if in a dance before Alexander grabbed Philip to really embrace him.  She watched as they covered one another in kisses.

“Did you take good care of your Mama?” Alexander asked and Philip pressed his head into the same spot Eliza’s had been moments before. 

“He was very good.”

“Protected you from bandits?”

“Oh, yes.  Shot them dead,” she teased, though she knew Alexander truly had worried about such things with her and Philip on the road.   

Alexander kissed Philip’s head.  “That’s my boy.”

“Everything was fine,” she assured.  “And now everything is perfect.”

“Morristown is really alright, darling?  I supposed it’s terribly rude of us to leave straight after a meal.” 

“I don’t care.”

“Eliza.”

“Alright, I do care.  But I’d rather it be just us and write an apology later than have it be otherwise.  Is it wrong for a wife to want that?”

He kissed her, long and deep and like he could do it forever.  It would please her very much if he were to try.

“Perhaps we don’t even stay for dinner.”

“It’s getting dark soon.”

“And we want to arrive before dark.”

“I’ll go tell them.”

“Hurry.”

She would.

[life-in-every-limb]

My first trip to San Francisco was also my first plane ride and my first time away from my family.  It was 1981 and I had just graduated from St. Joseph Elementary School.  My godfather had business in California and invited me along to keep his 12-year-old daughter–who was more like a cousin to me–company.

Almost 40 years have gone by but I still remember parts of that trip with clarity–eating shrimp cocktail at Fisherman’s Wharf, attending my first baseball game (that went to 14 innings!) at Candlestick Park, dinner in Chinatown (my first Chinese food!), the cold and the fog for which we were totally unprepared . . . I truly left a bit of my heart in San Francisco and longed for years to return.

Then in July 2017 a piece of my heart left for San Francisco, giving me a suitable motivation for traveling there.  We visited Teddy in February 2018 and 2019 (on his birthday, which has conveniently fallen during the three-day President’s Day weekend) and will be returning next month.  I love San Francisco even more now than I did then, and I’ve taken many pictures that I want to share.

Originally this was going to be one big post, but then I saw I had nearly 100 pictures from our 2018 visit.  So let’s just start with that one, shall we?

THURSDAY

One cannot fly direct from Knoxville to San Francisco, so it took us all day; we arrived after dark and took a cab straight to our hotel.  After meeting Teddy for a late dinner (very nice Greek restaurant, his treat), we explored a little before bed, and took the pictures below.

Both of those are shots of the Ferry Building.  Before bridges crossed the Bay, ferries were the only transportation and the Ferry Building was a busy place.  Nowadays it’s mostly retail space after a period of desertion and disrepair.

The Embarcadero used to be a raised freeway.  San Francisco redefined progress by removing it and reconnecting the Financial District to the waterfront.

Of course we had to walk down to the water and get a picture of the Bay Bridge.

FRIDAY

I got up bright and early Friday morning to do a little exploring.  We stayed in this hotel in the heart of the Financial District, because it was close to where Teddy worked at the time.

I was so excited that I just kept on walking until I found myself in Chinatown.

And while there I happened upon a parade celebrating the Chinese New Year! It was a complete surprise to me!

There is a Catholic church in Chinatown.  It’s staffed by the Paulist Fathers, just like my own parish church.  Now called Old Saint Mary’s, it used to be the San Francisco Cathedral.  I took lots of pictures:

I was on a roll by now.  I wanted to see if I could climb to the very top of the hill I was on, so I did.

Pictures don’t really do justice to the hills.  That last one, with a view of Alcatraz, comes closest.  I am not exaggerating when I say that I was scared to walk back down and was grateful that some of the sidewalks actually have steps cut into them.

I decided to walk back another way and here are a few of the sights I saw:

Above are two views of Saints Peter and Paul Catholic Church.  Below is St. Francis of Assisi, the first parish church in San Francisco.

Below is a cool view of the Transamerica Pyramid (which was how I found my way back to the hotel–you can see it from everywhere) juxtaposed with Columbus Tower aka the Sentinel Building, owned by Francis Ford Coppola.

Later in the day John and I walked along the Embarcadero down to the Fisherman’s Wharf area, where we met Teddy for dinner at Scoma’s, an amazing seafood restaurant on the water.  Here are the pictures I took that evening:

SATURDAY

I headed out first thing in the morning (while John slept in) to the big outdoor Farmer’s Market at the aforementioned Ferry Building.  In addition to food, many artisans ply their wares on the street leading to the market, so I purchased souvenirs to take home.

I snapped the above photo behind the Ferry Building during the Market.  I cannot now recall why this statue stands there, but I like it nonetheless!

Below is my photo of a poem that brings tears to my eyes when I read it, describing the destruction of the elevated freeway that formerly divided the city from the waterfront.

I returned to the hotel and John and I took an Uber (this was the trip where we learned all about Uber!) to Teddy’s house, which he was sharing with four other young men.  After he showed us around, we went out to explore the neighborhood(the Marina District).  I took the following pictures at what Teddy called his favorite place, the Palace of Fine Arts.  Note the random person in the picture below to understand the scale.  It is an amazing sight.

After lunch at a neighborhood pizza place, we took another Uber to Golden Gate Park.  We did not have any idea how big it is or what we would do there.  It’s definitely somewhere I want to revisit, specifically to see the Japanese Tea House, which was closed when we were there.

We thought it would be fun to walk across the Golden Gate Bridge, so we got an Uber across.  After taking a few pictures, though, we realized that we had just missed–by seconds–the deadline to get onto the bridge before security locked it for the night.

After this disappointment we decided that since we were already across the bridge we would Uber to Sausalito for dinner.  We found a nice little Tuscan restaurant, then headed back to the city for ice cream at Ghirardelli Square.

SUNDAY

Sunday morning I thought it would be fun to drink my coffee on the roof of the hotel.  Which it was until some guy came up there and started smoking weed.  At like 9 a.m.  Smoking marijuana is legal in SF, but not out in the open.  But everyone does, and the smell is EVERYWHERE.

We went to Mass at the church I showed you above.  Father Tom Tavella is the pastor.  He was formerly at our parish, and in fact baptized Teddy, so that was a cool reunion, and his homily was just as good as I expected from past experience.

We wanted to have lunch in Chinatown, and Father Tavella suggested a place nearby.

After lunch we did a little sightseeing and shopping.

I then wanted to re-attempt to walk across the Golden Gate Bridge.  John wanted to go back to the hotel and have a rest.  So we agreed to meet for dinner, and Teddy and I took another Uber to the far side of the bridge.

This is the only picture I snapped while on the bridge.  It was so windy that I was frankly afraid to take my phone out.  It was a little scary honestly but I am glad to have done it.  I would like to do it again on the opposite side some time.

After the bridge we just kept walking.

Past the National Cemetery.

All around the Presidio.

By this statue of Phineas Farnsworth.  And around Fort Mason.  And back to Teddy’s house in the Marina District.  And to the gym so he could work out for a few minutes.  In short (it was not short) we walked all the way back to the hotel.  I was not going to be the one to stop! By the end of the day I had walked 12 miles.  After we finished dinner (we ate at the very nice restaurant attached to our hotel), I had a difficult time getting out of the booth and up to the room!  Teddy and John went to a movie but I was happy to rest.

MONDAY

We checked out of our hotel Monday morning (leaving our bags in storage) and hopped on a double-decker tour bus for one of those two-hour tourist trips around the city.  That was when I snapped the above picture.  Later we met back up with Teddy and went shopping for ingredients so I could bake him a red velvet cake for his birthday (a bit difficult as the kitchen was not fully equipped for baking, but it still turned out okay).

Then it was time for good-byes, a trip to the airport, and the red-eye flight back home.  We managed to have fun until the end with this cool exhibit at the airport:

And that’s the end . . . but I will post the pictures of our 2019 trip in a few days.

The post A Trip to San Francisco appeared first on Life in Every Limb.

[rememberthattime]

Chapter 30. Move II. Part I. Japan

Well, it was the long route, but we finally made it to Sydney. Things are relaxed: I’m beachside. It’s 80 degrees in late February. I’m in sandals, shorts, and a tee shirt, and I’m sipping down back-to-back açaí smoothies.

Three months ago, on December 12, I knew this day was eventually coming. Back then, I even knew exactly how the next twelve weeks would play out: absolute madness. In our indirect and unusual move from London to Sydney, Chelsay and I fit in trips to Tokyo and Kyoto, Dallas for Christmas, Seattle for New Years, a one-month-only busy season reunion with EY US, before catching our 24 hour flights to 'Strayaaa.

It was the absolute madness I predicted, but now, several months late (and with my third açaí smoothie in hand), I can finally present: Chelsay and I’s three-part moving post. Part I: Japan.

To begin, I need to rewind three months to early December. We were pulling together visa applications and arranging our London move (see last post), so I didn’t have much time to plan Japan. That said, I was too excited for the trip to not look into a few things.

I’d watched YouTube travel videos and developed a broad idea of the places I wanted to see. Instead of exact sites or temples though, my list was made up of unique Japanese experiences. In Tokyo, I wanted to experience the 21st century city: neon-lit streets, overwhelming density, and arcade-inspired quirkiness. Think Lost in Translation.

In Kyoto, I wanted to experience the opposite: Japan’s 9th century temples and shrines. Removed from the big city and hidden deep in maple and gingko tree forests, I wanted to walk through peaceful and perfectly manicured Japanese Zen gardens. Think The Last Samurai.

Luckily June’s family lives in Tokyo, so even though I didn’t know the exact sites to visit, she knew exactly where we could get the above experiences. That said, not only were we getting June’s insider tour, but we’d also get to spend time with June’s family, especially Chelsay’s cousin Yuka, and her daughter Sayaka.

Juju (a family nickname I’ve adopted) clearly knows me well, because the first place she took Chelsay and I was a katsu place for lunch. With all respect to the international city London is, this was our first good katsu in two years. Our Christmas trip was off and running right from the very start.

After lunch, June took us around Tokyo’s many unique neighborhoods, including the bizarre Tsukiji fish market, the jaw-dropping city views from Roppongi Hills, and the charmingly nerdy arcades of Akihabara. Small side story from the arcades: Chelsay shockingly beat me in Need for Speed. I’m not sure how she won, but it was a perfect showcase for her mixed background: the Asian side had the video game advantage, while her white side handled the driving.

For dinner, we met June’s mom and sister in trendy Ginza for shabu shabu, thinly sliced meats that you self-swish (“shabu” in Japanese) in boiling broth at your table.

This is going to be a long post, so I’ll just list my Day 1 takeaways in bullet form:

First, I don’t understand how Tokyo can be so clean. In any other major city, trash cans are over flowing and dirty newspapers are blown up against the sides of buildings. Not in Tokyo though. Despite being the largest city by population (36 million), Tokyo keeps things tidy.

Second, I’ll just repeat that last line: there a 36 million people in Tokyo. There are only ~15 million in New York City. There are only 24 million in ALL OF AUSTRALIA! I remember feeling crammed in London (8 million), so Tokyo was bound to be a circus, right?... Not so fast my friend. The difference between London and Tokyo is that Tokyo was built vertically, with retail and restaurants filling 20+ stories in each endless block of skyscrapers. London’s a relatively short city given most of the buildings were made in the early 1800s. Tokyo, on the other hand, was leveled during WWII, so city planners were able to rebuild a taller city using more modern methods.

Third, things are strange. White strawberries, square watermelons, pour-over coffee filters, massive tunas, crazy gamers, and Tweety bird giving the finger (see below). We hadn’t even cracked into some of the weirder neighborhoods (Shinjuku and Shibuya would come a few days later), but I’d already started to experience the unique, quirky, Lost in Translation-y side of Tokyo.

So, to summarize, Day 1 was a success. For Day 2 and 3, we’d be taking a bullet train to Kyoto before returning to Tokyo for Days 4 and 5. As a reminder, my goals for Kyoto were pre-turn-of-the-(first)-century temples and shrines. See, unlike Tokyo, Kyoto was not a target for the Allies, so the city’s temple parks have maintained that Last Samurai feel for 1,000 years.

Our journey back in time actually started with one of the most modern modes of transportation: Japan’s bullet trains. Topping out at 375 MPH (though only 200 MPH with passengers) Chelsay and I covered over 300 miles of Japanese countryside in less than two hours.

It might have been a futuristic commute, but our first stop in Kyoto, Daigoji Temple, immediately pushed us into the past. I’d never even heard of this place, but Juju’s insider tour proved valuable because this ended up be my favorite memory in Kyoto. Daigoji is tucked into a neighborhood on the outskirts of Kyoto, shrouded in quiet privacy behind a rows of maple and gingko trees. It was the exact experience I was hoping for in Kyoto: peaceful Japanese Zen gardens, precisely manicured bonsai trees, creaky but colorful timber shrines. It was Tom Cruise’s temple in the Last Samurai.

Daigoji was certainly a June-insider-special, but our next destination has gone slightly more mainstream: Fushimi Inari. Founded in the 700s, this temple ground is massive. It takes up an entire hillside just outside Kyoto, and its famous 10,000 torii gates weave through the surrounding fall colored forest. These bright red shrines are built by the temple’s Shinto followers, each displaying a prayer inscribed in the gate’s frame. Sayaka was starting to get hungry as we set off through the shrines, so she led our rather quick 2.5 mile trek to the top.

The sun set on our descent, so we made our way from Fushimi Inari to Gion for dinner. Gion, Kyoto’s most historic neighborhood, is lined with machiyas (traditional wood townhomes with paper interior walls), but is best known for its secretive geishas. For being entertainers, geishas are actually very discrete and hard to spot. ... we were on an insider tour though.

June and Yuka kept their eyes peeled and pounced once they saw one. Yuka sprinted down a tiny back alley after the geisha, yelling in Japanese: “Wait, we’re showing around Americans!” She actually caught up to the geisha, but apparently our American-ness has its limits: the geisha said she was “working”, so we let her carry on with her evening.

After our high-speed geisha chase, Saya finally got her dinner wish. We met Chelsay’s non-English speaking cousins at a small yakitori restaurant hidden in the back alleys of Gion. As Chelsay’s family seemingly beat boxed at each other, I politely nodded and laughed when it seemed appropriate while enjoying grilled chicken heart and beef tongue.

I should note somewhere in this post that I barely slept while in Japan... We were crossing quite a few time zones going from London to Japan to Dallas to Seattle and finally to Sydney, and I did not get off to a good start. I think my nights ranged from 2 to 5 hours while in Japan, and this night specifically was closer to 2. I guess this was also part of the Lost in Translation experience.

The next day’s schedule certainly kept me awake though. We started by banging gongs at Kiyomizudera, one of the 21 finalists for UNESCO’s New Wonders of the World because of the fact that the timber temple is built WITHOUT A SINGLE NAIL. We then took a stroll down the historic Three Years Hill, picking up tasty Malebranche matcha cookies as well as other various rice-based snacks. Next, we visited the Earthy Ginkakugi temple, hidden among a mossy, natural Japanese garden that reminded me of Iceland’s terrain, followed by the more superficial Kinkakugi temple, whose walls are plated in gold leaf. Finally, to close out the day, we walked through the Arashiyama Grove, where flood lit bamboo trees grow up to 90 feet tall.

This didn’t turn out to be too bad a day given I’d only slept 2 hours. It might be the most anyone’s ever accomplished with that little sleep. Who’s to say. Either way, I (finally) slept like a rock that night.

The next day, Chelsay and I grabbed a return bullet train from Kyoto to Tokyo. ...back to the weird stuff (in the most charming and culturally unique sense). Our first day in Tokyo included white strawberrys and Tweety bird giving the finger, but somehow this day would be even more bizarre.

After arriving back in the city, Chelsay and I’s first stop was the Shibuya crossing, labeled as the busiest intersection in the world.

Every three minutes, the great migration begins. As soon as the traffic lights change from green to red, 1,000 travelers take their first step in an arduous journey from one side of the road to the other. It is a chess match navigating this cross walk, but each delicate dancer somehow manages to weave around one another without colliding.

After witnessing this miracle of nature, Chelsay and I headed up to Shinjuku for a miracle of mankind: the Robot Restaurant. Restaurant is actually a misnomer, because there really wasn’t food. I’ll more accurately refer to it as the Robot Spectacle.

The Spectacle began in a bizarre technicolored waiting room that can only be described by the picture below. Really, no more needs to be said because you already have an idea where this night was heading. It was sensory overload, starting with the waiting room. 

After about 20 minutes, the Spectacle was ready, and we were taken to our seats. We descended a few sets of clown-puke staircases before arriving in a dark, basement-level arena. Was this actually just a drug trip? Was the waiting room an ecstasy high and this basement the crash?  If so, the buzz soon returned, as the dark arena was illuminated in a seizure-inducing rainbow of neon lights. The black curtains were pulled and the Spectacle was on!

For the next hour, Chelsay and I were completely sober but tripped balls. There were flashing lights, robots, dinosaurs, a Michael Jackson tribute, a cabaret, and a Kung Fu Panda rip-off. It was a non-stop, 60 minute sensory overdose. I don’t know of any other way to describe this point in my life (nor do I want to, given how long of a post this is), so I’ll just let the videos do the talking.

After the Spectacle, we needed fresh air and open space. We exited the arena into the cold Tokyo night, unsure whether it was the same evening or several days had passed during our long drug trip. I joke about the overload of the Robot Restaurant, but it was actually one of the exact experiences I was hoping to have in Tokyo. Neon-lit, overwhelming, quirky. It had everything, but now we needed to decompress.

It was our last night before heading to Texas, so we decided a wintery walk through the city’s illuminated streets was the perfect way to unwind. Starting in nearby “Piss Alley” (a series of “Old Tokyo” restaurants and sake houses where the patrons used to step into the small outdoor alley for… relief), we walked through the colorful, skyscraper-lined neighborhoods of Shinjuku, Harajuku, and finally, Shibuya.

To end the evening and our bizarre but exciting week in Japan, Chelsay and I stumbled into the perfect exclamation mark for our trip: a yakiniku grill. Over the past few days, Chelsay and I had enjoyed almost all of her favorite treats from summers in Japan: shabu shabu, katsu, raman, bento lunches, vending machine coffee, senbei from the local conveni, mochi balls, onigiri (no doubt), matcha cookies, yakitori, takoyaki (grilled octopus balls), and genuinely dozens of rice-based snack variations. The one type of food we hadn’t found yet though: yakiniku, a beef dish served similar to Korean BBQ, with grills in each of the tables.

There are 36 million people in Tokyo, and genuinely thousands of yakiniku options to feed them. This means you can’t really research because any TripAdvisor search for "best Tokyo yakiniku" comes back with 100 results. Instead, we Google searched for nearby options and just went to the first result with a high rating. I don’t even know the name of the place we chose because it was in all Japanese characters.

It was located on the ground floor of a large residential building, and was tucked about 100 feet in from the street. The entrance certainly didn’t suggest this place was anything special: plain, dimly lit, and with beer casings stacked up beside the door.

Thank god we opened the door though, because this place was phenomenal! The interior was still dimly lit and cramped, but from the entrance, we could see the perfect, copious, thinly-sliced, deep red, marbled beef. In the same night we witnessed the Robot Spectacle, dinner might have provided the greatest sensory overload. We were hooked at first sight, and the scent of the grilled meats on each large wooden table’s barbeque reeled us in. What’s that we hear?  Harry Potter playing on the restaurant’s TV? This place really was the perfect finale for our trip to Japan.

As we grilled the succulent, thinly-sliced hunk of beef, Chelsay and I reflected on the weird and wonderful week that was. As I wrote earlier, I didn’t have exact sites that I wanted to visit, but rather unique Japanese experiences I wanted to enjoy. In Tokyo, I wanted the Lost in Translation experience of neon-lit streets, overwhelming density, and arcade-inspired quirkiness. In Kyoto, I wanted to walk through the temples of The Last Samurai, peacefully reflecting beside Zen gardens and underneath colorful shrines.

To sum up our few days in Japan, all I can say is that it was exactly as I expected. This is the highest compliment I can give for this trip, a perfect Part I in our three part move to Australia.