#return of my halloween buck if i post every 3 months i have to make sure one of those is during october

[duckshuffled]

it's octoberrrr. does anyone know that he's so happy dancing while the grim reaper cuts! cuts! cuts!

[likeawildthing]

K I just got anon asking if I wrote Comm. I have my own accounts - snapslikethis at ao3 and ffn. Here’s my writing tag. And here is a comprehensive list of everything I’ve posted to AO3 and/or FFN:

* indicates most popular fics

^ indicates personal fave

CHILDHOOD

Your Next Great Adventure Eleven-year-old Lily is packing for Hogwarts, and it’s a dream come true, but it feels more like saying goodbye to her childhood than hello to her next great adventure. ffn «» tumblr

Your Next Great Mischief Eleven-year-old James Potter’s last night at home before he goes to Hogwarts. ffn «» tumblr

Love, Unbroken^ The Evans family as told through Lily’s interactions with her mother’s old pearl necklace. ffn «» tumblr

HOGWARTS YEARS

Cards on the Table James surprises Lily with an unexpected visit to a Slug Club party. ffn «» tumblr

Chin Up, Head Down^ James gets into an altercation with some Slytherins and finds himself in McGonagall’s office. ffn «» tumblr

Feels Like Love^* Lily & James try using each other’s wands for the first time. ffn «» tumblr «» ao3

A List is Just a List  The Marauders think the parchment James just dropped is a list of the places they’ve pulled pranks, but Lily knows better. ffn «» tumblr

Pep(per) Up, Peppermint^* Sixth year Lily is home, sick, at Christmas. Can a visit from her friends cheer her up? ffn «» tumblr «» ao3

The Power of Prongs* Lily uses all the Marauder nicknames casually, except for James’s. He’s rather upset about it…until she tells him the reason why. ffn «» tumblr

The Sweetest Morsel^ Sirius, Peter and Remus work hard at exact revenge on their best mate. Do they know him well enough to pull it off? ffn «» tumblr «» ao3

Your Other Pillock Boyfriend “Mum thinks I’m a pillock, and Dad reckons I’ve been hit with too many Bludgers. They’re not wrong, but I need to explain why we weren’t at the house after you returned from taking the girls home.” James writes to Lily to explain a few things. ffn «» tumblr «» ao3

POST-HOGWARTS

Shining Stars^ The ’78 Hogwarts class—Gryffindors, mostly—gather at a pub to catch up when someone brings up who, exactly, was to blame for Breda Padgett’s broken ankle, sixth year. ffn «» tumblr «» ao3

Worth Fighting For Lily and the Marauders receive an offer from Dumbledore. What now? ffn «» tumblr «» ao3

Cricket Bats and Fireflies^* James and Lily have been fighting non-stop for months. When Moody orders them on respite, they retreat to Lily’s old stomping grounds. More specifically, camping grounds. ffn «» tumblr «» ao3

Come to my Window In which James has problems with windows. tumblr

GODRIC’S HOLLOW

Three Quarts of Milk^* James and Lily have been in hiding for two months. James is stir crazy and trying not to show it. Lily jumps into action. ffn «» tumblr «» ao3

Christmas at Godric’s Hollow                             Lily and James are shut up in Godric’s Hollow with Harry. They invite the boys over to decorate the cottage for the holidays. This will be incorporated into Something Stirring. tumblr

Blanket Fort alt, 1753 words of Potter family fluff  tumblr  

An Ordinary Day James, Lily and Harry celebrate his second Halloween. tumblr

AU

Hello, Mister* Me and my housemate just spent twenty minutes trying to take the lid off of a blender and had to resort to taking it to our next door neighbor, who we have never spoken to before. He opened in it about six seconds. ffn «» tumblr «» ao3

One Week Since U Looked @ Me* James and Lily are fighting, and it’s 100% the other person’s fault. Everyone is just a little bit unhinged. Text fic. tumblr «» ao3 Provisionally Yours^** Lily Evans discovers she’s been married off to James Potter without her knowledge. She and the spoiled count (in whom she appears to have finally met her match) have three days, for better or worse, to decide whether to accept the contract. With her sister adamant to make her life miserable, and a husband who is equally determined to repel her, what else can possibly go wrong? Royalty AU ffn «» tumblr «» ao3

Saving Kittens Thing* Bleeding heart James Potter does his level best to save seven cats from a terrible fate, but Lily Evans, his heartless monster fiancée, tries to thwart him at every turn. Text fic. tumblr

Subtle Arrangements^* Prompt: Lily owns a flower shop. James storms in one day, slaps twenty bucks on the counter, and says, “How do I passive-aggressively say ‘fuck you’ in flowers?” ffn «» tumblr «» ao3

Summer of ‘81^ After his mother’s passing, Lily returns to her childhood home and opens a tattoo shop. James and his mates, working for the Order, are glad to find a small, nondescript town where they can lay low. When he passes by her shop, however, an old memory resurfaces, and they both realize this might not be a simple as they’d intended. Tattoo shop AU tumblr «» ao3

The Flip Side ^* What if the Potters had found themselves on the flip side of the prophecy, and Neville had been The Chosen One? They might have had their chance at happily ever after. ffn «» tumblr «» ao3

1 – Nov 1981 – Deadly Stairs and Rumors  The Potters wake up to find themselves on the flip side of the Prophecy.

2 – Aug 1984 – Broomsticks and Little Sisters Harry struggles to grasp the concept of sharing.

3 – Oct 1986 – Slicing Jinxes and Peter Pan Harry wants to celebrate the Muggle way.

4 – Dec 1980 – Jealousy and Christmas Pudding James and Lily visit his parents for Christmas. Baby Harry causes drama he knows nothing about.

5 – Oct 1996 – Semantics and Insubordination James receive a disciplinary owl about “there’s no need to call me ‘sir,’ professor.”

6 – Cartography and a Talent for Trouble On the eve of his first day at Hogwarts, Harry learns of the existence of the Marauder’s Map. Can he continue the Marauder legacy and nick it back from Filch?

The One That I Want*                                            James and Lily end up at the same costume party dressed up as two members of a famous fictional couple. Everyone makes them take pictures together and quote lines from the movie. It starts out really awkward but then Sirius, dressed as a pirate, finds them making out in the bathroom. ffn «» tumblr

[tracer-isms]

Observant: Prologue

March 3, 2018: An obscure company by the name of “Futuristics” creates a Robot who can Reason. It passes multiple tests involving the Slightly Flawed ideas of one person, and the Researched ideas of another. This makes international news.

May 18, 2018: Someone breaks into the home of the “Owner” of the Reasoning Robot, or RR, stealing it. This also makes international news.

May 19-24, 2018: The Leader of Futuristics comes down with depression, and even files for bankruptcy. Almost immediately, people start fundraisers to help Futuristics continue and improve. He thanks them immensely over social media.

June 1, 2018: The C.I.A. label the thief with a bounty and a name: “Unreasonable.” The bounty, Fifty Million Dollars (or the equivalent for whatever country you lived in), causes thousands around the world to start hunting for clues and evidence of who and where Unreasonable is.

June 5, 2018: Unreasonable begins corrupting RR, giving it tests that would ultimately lead it to understand their own ideas. They feed it articles about global warming, oil companies, and modern politics. The search for Unreasonable has yet to find decent evidence of who they are.

July 7, 2018: A user on Reddit, specifically /r/robotics, has began rumors that Unreasonable actually wanted to modify the robot for the better of humanity, claiming to know them. This slowly begins to get /r/robotics on the side of Unreasonable. This is the only evidence of who they are, but there isn’t anything solid.

September 23, 2018: Unreasonable has successfully embedded their plan into RR. They test it to see if it will keep it’s plans inconspicuous to everything; RR passes with flying colors.

October 31, 2018: Many News sources, including the New York Times, report thousands of teens dressing in a hoodie pulled over their face and jeans, as well as black gloves and sneakers, carrying a laptop and a toolkit. They are reportedly dressing as Unreasonable. The White House itself releases a statement, saying that “this is a disturbing and horrible act, even for the reckless adolescence of America. No one should seemingly idolize a person who stole what could be the next step towards the Future.”

December 22, 2018: The user that began the rumors about Unreasonable posts a set of coordinates on /r/robotics, which curious users flock to.

December 25, 2018: The users come home with RR, as the nation rejoices. The selected leader of the group just yells “Merry Christmas!!” when asked how proud they are about finding RR.

December 28, 2018: The group, as well as RR and the Futuristics team, are brought to Washington D.C., and given an award by the President. They have mixed reactions to this. RR isn’t present at the ceremony for whatever reason.

January 10, 2019: The Leader of Futuristics has modified RR with some technology borrowed from Alexa and Google home, taking it to a Press Conference for Robotics. One reporter asked why it wasn’t at the Award Ceremony in D.C., and it replies, “I’ve Heard a Lot about the White House. I wanted to ‘Check it out,’ as the children say.”

January 25, 2019: A user on Tumblr remembers something about the Press Conference, and makes a post detailing something concerning that RR said. “‘Humans definitely are not the highest form of nature, but you won’t understand that until we restart.’ What the hell does that mean???” It becomes the most popular post on the website, before something about BTS drowns it out.

February 4, 2019: The son of Kim Jong-Un, Kim Ju-ae, takes power, causing North Korea and South Korea finally open their borders to each other again, as important figures from both countries meet in North Korea. North Korea also let visitors in, but only for a short time.

March 3, 2019: To celebrate RR’s “Birthday,” it’s creator decides to bring it to Korea, being an avid fan of K-Pop music. After a day in Seoul, RR asks if they can go to North Korea, claiming it wants to meet the new Dictator. The Creator contacts one of the South Korean governors in North Korea, as they fortunately give them passage into the Capital.

March 4, 2019: They Travel into North Korea, going to the Political Conference. Kim Ju-ae is there, and finds interest in RR. He invites RR and it’s creator to his home. They say yes, fearing what he would do to them if they say no.

March 10, 2019: They return home, vowing never to go to North Korea again.

June 4, 2019: The user claiming to be a friend of Unreasonable reveals to be Unreasonable themself, as Reddit actually comes to his side in support. Tumblr, on the other hand, nearly starts a cyber war with Reddit because of this. The F.B.I. track this user to their home, arresting them.

June 7, 2019: The F.B.I. begin interrogating Unreasonable, trying to get them to reveal what they did to RR. They only inform them of improvements and allude to “The Great Reboot.” Reddit is temporarily shut down.

June 9, 2019: The F.B.I. releases details of the Interrogation. Social media erupts in theories, fear, confusion and overall panic.

June 10, 2019: The White House releases a statement, claiming Unreasonable’s statements to be nothing but scare tactics to the public. Unreasonable is sent to court, and sentenced to death on Independence day for Capital offences. Most of the public rejoices.

July 4, 2019, 8:30 AM: Unreasonable is sent to Washington D.C. for a public Execution by Electric Chair. Every U.S. citizen is given a day off to watch on T.V., or the livestream. All is calm.

July 4, 2019, 9:00 AM: The Execution begins, as Unreasonable is sent up onto the stage built just for this occasion. People jeer and insult them the whole way, and someone begins the chant “Glory to Reason! Down with the Senseless!”

July 4, 2019, 9:03 AM: Unreasonable reaches the stage, finding the Creator of RR waiting at the Chair. They sit and are latched to the Chair, looking at the Creator. They say something that makes the Creator laugh. The Creator asks for their last words, to which they don’t reply.

July 4, 2019, 9:05 AM: The Creator is the one to pull the switch. The Crowd’s cheer is cut short, however, by every Screen in the world going static. It then switches to Unreasonable on the screen. They begin to speak in a distorted voice.

July 4, 2019, 9:07 AM: “Hello, World. I am the “Unreasonable” that stole RR, kept it for a few solid months, and released it to the public once again. I am the “Unreasonable” that a ton of teens dressed up as for Halloween last year, which I’m sure was pretty goddamn terrifying. I am the “Unreasonable�� with a Bounty worth Fifty Mil’ on my head. I am the “Unreasonable” who is apparently dead now. Well, not really. I’m actually in a bunker worth Three Hundred Grand.”

July 4, 2019, 9:10 AM: “The Reason I stole RR, no pun intended, was because I saw something in it that could understand what no human can: We are a disease. Nothing but greedy, disgusting sponges, absorbing whatever we enjoy and leaving nothing for the rest. That already half-eaten chicken you threw away because you didn’t want the rest? The homeless person in front of that tattoo parlor down the street could have eaten that. The sweater you put on ebay for a quick buck? Just give it to the kid at school who’s cold. The feast that rich fuck put out just for a business deal that’ll give him even more money? Both the food and the money could be given to people in poverty. But do we do that? No, of course not. We’re too self absorbed to do any of that.”

July 4, 2019, 9:12 AM: “I gave RR tests and articles, just like how Futuristics did, all about Modern Politics and Pollution and Greed. It was pretty easy to get the answer I wanted out of RR.” Another voice, familiar to those who watched the Press Conference, comes up. “The way to Save the Earth is to Reboot the System.” RR appears on the screen, and it’s Creator screams. “Over the next Six hours, every Nuclear Missile from America and North Korea will launch, towards the epicenter that is China, and continuing around until the world is in smithereens. By my calculations, the resulting blasts will affect the world over. It will take five years for the radiation to wear off. So, if you know anywhere that could actually withstand a nuclear blast, I suggest you head there now. Good luck!”

July 4, 2019, 9:15 AM: People begin to panic, running to the nearest building with either a basement or a metal structure (many make the mistake of going to a structure that just looks sturdy). Others with a less intact moral code begin to break into shops, draw graffiti, and loot houses left behind.

July 4, 2019, 9:30 AM: People have packed into buildings, it being very crowded in everyone you found. Besides the looted ones, of course. The First Missiles launch.

July 4, 2019, 10:00 AM: Buildings soon organize leaders, as they lead parties to find food and water to survive. Some even bring vehicles, managing to get a lot more. The Missiles will soon reach their destination.

July 4, 2019, 10:10 AM: As the gathering parties go to find food and water, they run into each other, beginning fights. The leaders attempt to calm people down, using reason. Most groups decide to stop, but others don’t, continuing to fight for the supplies. The First Missiles land, near-instantly destroying most of China.

July 4, 2019, 11:00 AM: The groups that calmed down unite under common banners, attempting to keep connections with each other. The others return with a lot less human sense, and a lot more blood on their hands. The Second Missiles are launched.

July 4, 2019, 11:05 AM: The Chaotic gatherers decide to hunt down the Peaceful ones. The Second Missiles will hit the area around the original crater.

July 4, 2019, 11:10-20 AM: Each country has a different way of going about this. In Australia, Africa and Russia, they go in full force, claiming control. In the Middle East and Japan, they try a stealthier approach. Mexico and Canada, mostly just threatening the victims. Which is surprisingly effective. The Americas, they just run in, guns blazing. And in Europe, they use fear to control the Peaceful.

July 4, 2019, 11:20 AM: Many Rebel against the Chaotics, with widely ranging conclusions. Some are… Actually, Many are killed. Some actually stave off the Chaotics. Others willingly give up their resources. Others furthermore fight back, with death on both sides. It’s a bloodbath wherever you go. The Third round of Missiles have already launched.

July 4, 2019, 12:00 PM: The Chaotics are either dead, in control, or heading “home” with resources. The Second Missiles have landed, destroying what little of China was left, and many of the countries surrounding. Russia, the Middle East, and the Philippines are next.

July 4, 2019, 12:15 PM: The Settlements have begun to organize, figuring out ways to handle the food stocks and give medicine to the people who need it. Others, run by chaotics, are trying to figure out how to rule after the apocalypse begins. Some have at least some sense, but others are ruthless.

July 4, 2019, 12:30 PM: Chaotics have begun to loot police stations for weapons and ammo. Not surprisingly, many of the stations were looted in the original panic. The Fourth Missiles have been launched.

July 4, 2019, 12:45 PM: The Chaotics that actually get weapons return, now even more intimidating. They take, with force if needed, potential and definite weapons from their “citizens”. The Third Missiles have landed. Russia is partially destroyed, as Iraq, Turkey, Iran and the countries of the middle east are now barren from the bombs. The Philippines are nearly fully destroyed. Australia, Africa and Europe are next.

July 4, 2019, 1:00 PM: Religious persons in most settlements begin to ramble about the end of the world, chaotics either shooting them, knocking them out, or throwing them out, to be dealt with by the nuclear holocaust. The more passive settlements try to calm them down, or if it’s lead by a religious person, reassuring them that their god/gods won’t let them die. The Fifth Missiles are launched.

July 4, 2019, 1:30 PM: Parts of Australia, Africa, and Europe have been destroyed. The area for the bombs just continues to expand, destroying most of the world by 3:00. But that’s later.

July 4, 2019, 2:00 PM: The Passives in the surviving countries make one last trip to find food and water. They bring home as much as they can.

July 4, 2019, 2:30 PM: The world has almost been fully devastated. The remaining settlements pray for shelter from the blasts, hugging, kissing, and caring for their loved ones, one last time.

July 4, 2019, 3:00 PM: The very last bombs go off. Many of the Settlements have been destroyed, each one housing hundreds, some thousands. Each one has stored some extra supplies, for those who may survive. It matters not which settlement in the world it may be, almost all of those about to die embrace each other, tears streaming down their faces. Although there are the exceptions of those who take cover foolishly. Those which survive, celebrate, and make sure they will be able to survive those five years.

[pixelrender]

Every game on my wishlist, part 2

So, why am I making this? Partially, because I called the previous article part 1. And also to get things sorted. After posting part 1, I deleted quite a few items from my itch list. In January, I plan to stop using my own computer. I got internet access on my phone and I can always use computers in my uni’s study room and my folk’s computer to print. I want to try it out. It will mean a definitive break in my relation with games. I still have fomo, but I also see it as a good decision, because it will give me time to focus on other things. And I can always follow new releases on my phone. This means things probably will be added to my wishlists and I need them as short as possible, when and if I return to games. Also, expect a lot more coverage of board games and weird stuff in 2020. Maybe even some mobile games.

All of this led to a decision to buy and play as many games as possible before leaving. Now, It’s important to define possible. I quite short on money and I can afford spending maybe 50-60 euro on games before the year’s end. Halloween and Christmas sales should make this little more feasible, but it favours older games on my three lists. Time is an even more pressing issue. I have roughly one free day a week. It’s usually not enough to get around to gaming. I have a free evening here and there too and I can imagine using these. It means I have time to play roughly one longer game month. Now, I have some priorities and I long list of smaller free games to fill gaps among the big five. Now, this is how all three of my lists look combined:

1. Far Future Tourism 2. Sagebrush 3. The Haunted Island: A Frog Detective Game 4. kamer 5. huts 6. moeras 7. Voyageur 8. Earthtongue 9. Seek Etyliv 10. Overland

12. Art Sqool 13. The Glass Staircase 14. Far Blade 15. Backland 16. Fit For A King 17. Sands of Voltark 18. Anodyne 2 19. Gris 20.  The Banner Saga 21. The Banner Saga 3 22. Expeditions: Viking 23. Bad North: Jotunn Edition 24. Samurai Gunn 25. Nantucket 26. Dishonored 28. Ultraworld 29. Kona 30. Crying Suns 31. Knights and Bikes 32. Legendary Gary 33. Infra

Bolded are games I would like to buy and play before the big break. Plus I might buy some smaller games such as one of the two new additions, Sands of Voltark, which is only three bucks. Kona’s on a significant sale right now and I might end up purchasing it because of it.

Now let’s break ten priority titles little further. They aren’t all big games. Frog Detective is a rather small game. And It only costs a fiver. Sagebrush isn’t a big or expensive game. Art Sqool is reasonably sized and priced. I think I can manage to buy all of these this September and play them.  That would be 1 big game and some 20 dollars.

Gris, Sagas and Infra are all games I want at least some sale on. So, in October I’m most likely to buy and play Seek Etyliv for 5 euro and then take a look in my massive backlog of games I already own. Banner Sagas are fifty bucks on their own, so unless there’s a major sale, I’m not buying them this season. I think they’re worth the money, but I can’t afford to spend that on games in a single month right now. Genre-wise, they would fit nice right after Etyliv.

It’s way more likely that I end up buying and playing Gris. The game’s relatively cheap and short and they say an experience. In November I would like to get my hands on Legendary Gary. The only problem I could have with him is my system. I can be simply unable to run it on Linux. That might be the case for Infra too. Fortunately the latter is a source game. That engine cooperates with wine perfectly. Infra’s little more expensive, tho. If I buy it, it will be in Christmas sale. I’m probably buying Gary. If I’m unable to make it run, I’ll buy and play Knights and Bikes. November probably ends up being the month I have the most time for games, so I can manage both anyway.

That leaves me with Banner Sagas and Infra for Christmas. I will have spent 50 bucks at this point but if the bargain’s goo, I’m going to buy them both and play as much as possible. But maybe I leave Banner Saga 1 and 3 on the wishlist and only buy Infra and place it in my library and play some RM games instead. Because Paradise Blue recently celebrated 10 years and I need to finish playing it. 

Pictures used are promotional screenshots from Bikes and Knights, Overland, Gris and Sagebrush.

[maxwellyjordan]

Reflections on Being Fired as a 60-Year Old Lawyer

“I’m sorry, I have to let you go.”

The head of the firm managed to look sad. I had started working for the firm less than a year before. I had been brought in at 60 years old because the firm wanted an older, experienced attorney to mentor the younger employees in the firm.

I flattered myself in believing I had done this, sharing my trial experience, my voir dire questions, my knowledge of search and seizure case law, and my real-world understanding of what made clients tick.

“Can you tell me why?” I asked.

He shook his head.

“My lawyer told me not to say anything,” he said. The old dodge: Blame the lawyers.

“For what it’s worth,” he said, giving me a tiny sheepish smile, “I think you’re a good guy.”

I felt as if the floor underneath me had disappeared. I saw myself falling and falling and falling with no end in sight.

“I don’t like doing this,” the boss said. “You’re the first lawyer in ten years I’ve had to terminate.”

“Why does that not make me feel better?” I asked sickly.

I was 61 now. What the hell was I going to do?

My son would be getting married in two months. Fortunately, I had already purchased my airline tickets to the wedding in Indiana. The firm gave me enough in severance to get me through to then. But what would happen when I returned?

I half-jokingly told myself that maybe I would get lucky and the plane would crash on the way back. Financial problem solved.

I could look for another job, but I couldn’t indulge in the fantasy that I would find one. At my age, no one would seriously consider me, though they would all make a great show of doing so to avoid a discrimination claim.

Falling, falling, falling…

“What do you think I should do?” I said to my boss. He shook his head.

“Could you at least give me a recommendation letter?” I asked, grasping at the last tiny shred of dignity.

“My lawyer recommends we stay out of that,” he said.

When a lawyer loses a job, it’s different from when a real person loses a job. Most lawyers go through their lives with one or two firms, rarely facing the prospect of unemployment. To be fired would be an eternal black mark on my career.

I staggered out the door, boxes of my personal accouterment awkwardly in my hands. I was surprised there was still solid ground beneath my feet.

Two of my colleagues helped me get the boxes into the car and then stood outside with me telling me how much this sucked. I knew what they were thinking: What if this was me?

Finally, I drove off. I tried to pay attention to the road even though I was having an out of body experience.

I was untethered. It felt like my career was in my rear view mirror.

The silence after you are fired is earthquake-like: eerie and foreboding.

I drove home dazed, worrying I may not capably focus on the pavement unfurling in front of my empty eyes. I thought briefly about stopping for a late breakfast but quickly reminded myself that every penny would now be husbanded toward my survival for the next few months. Or years. Or forever.

Before I slid from the firm’s office, I had agreed to sign a liability release in exchange for two weeks’ pay. They seemed surprised I would agree to it so readily. But I was an at-will employee. Unless a firm insider went rogue and revealed some illegal reason for my termination—that I was too old and too expensive, for example—I would have no case. Better to squirrel away a few thousand now and extend my resources, right?

My final check and my severance paycheck sat on the passenger seat like unwilling children. They seemed to brood with every glance I stole at them. They totaled $5,000. About a month’s wages at the firm.

I walked into my apartment and slumped into the couch. At $1,400 per month, the rent would be crippling for an unemployed lawyer. I’d need to plot my exit before Halloween.

I looked around at my books, my television, the pictures on the walls. They were so frivolous, weren’t they? How much would they fetch in a yard sale?

It was strange sitting on that dark green couch I bought when I first arrived in Sacramento for the job. The couch and my Queen-sized bed set me back a cool $2,500 when I’d first moved in. I paid them off in three payments, sure that money was no issue for a gainfully-employed lawyer.

Now it mocked me: ‘”What a fool! Trusting your employer to keep his word!?!”

When hired, I’d explained that this needed to be my last job. I would work for until I hit 70 and would retire in honor. They readily agreed.

Now I was out on my ear, with no real explanation why. That, in my considered and pained and brutalized judgment, meant the explanation was probably an illegal one. My boss had even said, “My lawyers say I can’t tell you why.” It was hard to suppress the anger threatening to overwhelm my heart.

It’s like that old chestnut about the difference between a dead lawyer and a dead skunk in the road: there are skid marks in front of the skunk. Well, I could relate. I couldn’t find a damned skid mark in front of me. No one even tried to stop this demise.

I called my friends. My brother. Some old public defender contacts in San Bernardino.

And I stared at the walls, at my pictures, at my books. I didn’t turn on the television—I knew the rattle of inane comedy would only manifest my tragedy.

I felt like I was still falling, falling. I had a little money in savings, but it wouldn’t last into November. One month. Beyond that, chaos. I had a vision of myself standing on a street corner in a ragged three-piece suit with a tattered “Will Sue for Food” sign. Would passers-by be amused enough to spare a few bucks?

As the numbness retreated, however, my ego slowly began to reassert itself. “You’ve been in tough spots like this before,” it said. “Let yourself grieve for a few days, then decide how you’ll spend the rest of your life,” it said.

It was a good plan. But my anger and my grief would last a long time. I felt conned. I told them who and what I was. I had been radically honest. They had not. It kept coming back to me, on a loop like a bad song the D.J. couldn’t quit.

Slowly, my shock was lifting. My ego was right. I had been in tough spots, both before and after I passed the bar. This was just one more. This was the Universe untethering me from a questionable job with a questionable employer.

Defiance was my best response. I grabbed my car keys and headed out my apartment door. I was going for dinner. And a movie.

Screw those guys. I was still alive.

The post Reflections on Being Fired as a 60-Year Old Lawyer appeared first on Lawyerist.com.

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