#retirement ramblings

[retirement-home-rumble]

Are you tired of all these young whippersnappers dominating every poll?

Well, get ready for the Retirement Home Rumble!

This is your chance to submit your most beloved (or hated, who am I to judge?) elderly characters and see them fight to the death against their fellow old people!

Rules:

Character must be considered old in their canon (no set age limit since this can vary based on species and the like)

To try to keep it more fair, I will only be including one character per source material. HOWEVER if they are part of a pair of old people that must not be separated at all costs, I will allow them to compete together as a team.

Keeping with the previous point, you may submit real people, but since I think it would be funny, I am counting real life as a source material, so only a single irl old person will be able to compete.

No HP characters, but everything else is free game

Have fun!

Submissions will be open until June 10th

[retirement-home-rumble]

Thinking about Funky Old breaking containment from their very exclusive fandom for this

playing a ttrpg is like being in a very exclusive fandom of, like, six people

[miscellaneousrenaissant]

Thinking about how Chilchuck and Laios started adventuring at around the same relative time in their lives

There are a bunch of similarities to their backstories - leaving home at a young age (14, 12), starting careers in exploring dungeons as young adults (19, 22), developing a complex about the first monster that killed them (Mimics, Living Armor), getting scammed or taken advantage of by other adventurers (succubus-hunting party, gold-peelers) - that they give me "past and future" vibes

Chilchuck is the older mentor to the less-experienced Laios. He joined Laios' party when Laios had only been exploring the dungeon for a year, and Chilchuck regularly gives advice based on his own 10 years of experience in an effort to support Laios as leader. There are several occasions of Chilchuck either teaching or wishing Laios would learn something in particular that he thinks would help with the job

Laios is a reflection of Chilchuck's past from when he was just starting out as a naive adventurer, while Chilchuck is an example of the future that Laios is striving towards as a seasoned dungeon explorer and leader

But also, they can represent missed opportunities and paths not taken for each other

An example for Chilchuck is that he isn't treated with the same respect as a tall-man because he is a half-foot. He can lead a union of half-foots, but leading a party of other races, many of whom would infantilize him, is unlikely. There are limitations to what he can do (physically and socially) compared to Laios simply because of how each were born, and it's partly why he's so hard on Laios to make him a good leader and not waste the opportunities afforded to him

Meanwhile as an example for Laios, who left his family and fiancée behind when going out on his own at 12 years old, who wasn't shocked that Chilchuck became a father at 13, and who even mentioned that some tall-men get married at 13, too...

If Laios had never left home, would he, at 13, have married someone from his childhood and also become a father of three?

[evansbuck-ley]

the first halloween that buck and tommy’s son is old enough to go trick or treating he is insistent in keeping his costume secret - well secret from one parent bc someone needs to pay. and unfortunately for buck he is the parent that is kept out of the loop. and even more unfortunate for buck is that this is the year that he had to work Halloween, so tommy promises to bring henry to the firehouse before he takes him trick or treating.

halloween rolls around and buck is basically vibrating out of his skin bc he just got a text from tommy to tell him their are on the way and he is beyond excited to see his boys. and suddenly there comes the world smallest firefighter sprinting towards buck with tommy not too far behind trying his best to keep up. buck takes in the sight in front of him. bc henry could have dress up as Dracula or Spider-Man but no hes dressed as buck. from the plastic helmet that sat wonky on his head and had “118” scribbled on the front . to buckley-kinard that was neatly printed on the back on his jacket. all the way down to his little yellow rain boots poking out the bottom of his turnouts.

and from behind buck he could hear hen and eddie cooing at the sight of the boy and he could see chimney come to stand next to tommy to take a million pictures that he knows is being sent to maddie - because yes buck we need pictures of everything he does, we need to fill his baby box!

then henry is jumping up and down in front of him so excited and he’s rambling. look daddy I’m you. do you like it? papa said that you would love it. i’m going to be a firefighter when I grow up daddy. can we go see grampy bobby after papa? I want to show him. and god, he is buck’s double and buck just can’t hold it together anymore. he lets a tear slip down his cheek and he scoops the boy in his arms and holds him tight to his chest. and in his head he is thanking whatever god out there that gave him this.

this family. this love. his whole world.

[lazylittledragon]

finally got my ghost tattoo!!

this thigh has been empty for way too long so this feels very nice

[landoposition]

your favorite driver's favorite driver is lando norris btw

[ameliaenya404]

𝓡𝓮𝓾𝓷𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓭

It was a slower day. One where you and Caleb happend to share a day off of work.

You had woken up feeling compelled to spend the day with him, now that you had him back you never wanted to lose him again.

You wanted to make up for lost time and he was more than happy to oblige. And of course, you couldn't complain when he cooked whatever you asked for whenever he came over.

Dinner was over but Caleb wasn't quite ready to leave, and you weren't ready to let him leave either.

Not yet at least.

You lay in bed with him over the covers like you used to as kids, your legs crossed over his as you both stared up at the cream-white ceiling. The silence was nice, you had missed him so much that the fact he was even lying next to you was enough.

But ever since he'd come back, since you'd been reunited, something felt off. He was your Caleb. He looked like your Caleb. Talked like it too...most of the time.

But there were flights of time when he seemed off like his mind wasn't quite all together. It made you weary, anxious, and concerned.

He seemed normal now though as you lay side by side and that was enough for you.

"So, colonel, should we go out tomorrow?" You ask, testing out his new career title on your tongue.

It felt weird, to so many he was a stern colonel, but in this room. In the hold of the four bedroom walls. He was Caleb.

Your Caleb.

"Where do ya want to go? Skyhaven, or do you want to stay down here in Linkon?" His voice was calming, but the bed's comfortableness and the feeling of Caleb next to you weren't helping your already sleepy state.

"Linkon," you yawn before continuing, "We could go see the light show or the movies, there's an arcade too. When's the last time we played at a claw machine together?"

"Too long," Caleb chuckled.

You probably hadn't had a proper outing since before he went off to be a fighter pilot in the Deepspace Aviation Administration and you decided to become a Hunter.

"Yeah, too long." You say softly, a tinge of regret from the constant relazation of all the lost time you need to make up for.

"Hey, I know that tone. What's wrong pipsqueak?" Caleb turns to lay on his side facing you, propping himself up on his elbow.

You glance at him and sigh, turning on your side as well to fully face him.

"I just missed you."

"I missed you too," Caleb smiles before turning on his back again to look up at the ceiling and you could've sworn you heard him mumble at the end "More than you'll ever know".

[xxsugarbonesxx]

retired!Miguel rambling

🩷 I love domestic Miguel he is my everything

i guess this is head canons??? idk i just wrote what i thought felt right lol

mostly fluff, some smut, no gender is specified for reader,

though it doesn't go into depth, pregnancy and pregnancy sex is mentioned so read at your own risk 🩷

MINORS DO NAWT INTERACT!!!!

Miguel is naturally warm, his skin is so soft and warm. He smells like firewood and citrus, trust. In the winter you’ll lounge over his body like a seal on a rock in the sun. In the summer, you drag the kiddie pool from the back and fill it up. Dipping your feet in the cold water while you two watch the kiddos and dogs play in the sprinklers. 

He makes chunky babies. If you have the ability to get pregnant, most people will assume you’re having twins ‘cause how big your tummy is once you’re with child. But you just got one chubby little babe in there, and then they’re born with a whole head of their papa’s coffee colored curls. 

Piggy backing off the previous: once he gets out of his office in the Spider Society, leaving the Spider Man role behind, he’ll gain some weight. He’ll get that daddy pooch/dad bod going down, his pubes thick and curly. A whole forest is growing under his pudgy tummy. He doesn’t think shaving is that important once he’s settled down and has his kids but is willing to shave if that’s what you prefer. 

He did do the thing where he shaved his face completely to show the baby when they were around five months old. Popping out from behind the corner to show the babe his clean shaven face with you filming it. It all ended with all three of you crying and snuggling with the baby once they started sobbing and screeching since all they’re tiny life they’ve seen their daddy with a neat, salt and peppery beard.

And if you CAN’T get pregnant, (whether you’re amab or infertile) bro will be going at it with you like an ANIMAL. He’s got fat breeder balls, full of hot, sticky cum to pump into your needy hole. Once he’s cum, he’ll give one last thrust, nice and deep into your gummy walls. Plugging his semen deep inside you, keeping it there. After care in this instance is nonexistent, since he falls asleep on top of you, still deep in your guts.

He just likes touching you, if you’re alone in the car, waiting at the red light. His palm travels up and down your thigh absentmindedly as his eyes bore into the stop light. (He wears those glasses that turn into sunglasses when he goes outside, argue with the wall) Maybe he’ll get brave enough or the light still hasn’t changed for awhile, his hand will dip under your shirt, his thumb pad playing with your soft nipple until it hardens.

As long as you’re alone, he’ll have his hands on you. Six times out of ten it leads to actual sex.

I don’t think of him as a god in bed really, he’s just a guy. He’s gonna do what he thinks you and him are gonna like (what you want will always be top priority for him I know it) Acting on lizard brain, he’s gonna do what he’s gonna do without much thought beforehand. He couldn’t edge you to save his life, if you’re whining or crying, he’s just gonna let you cum, he just can’t say no to you. :(

Foreplay is always important to him though, mainly just because I want him to rub my back, I think he’d go for the whole massage thing. Spending a good amount of time rubbing and massaging your shoulders, back and cunny/cock. His hand is so big, he’d be able to grip the space between your thighs with one hand no issue. Rubbing back and forth until you cum from his hands alone. He likes to have you cum at least once before he’s actually inside you. He’s a gentleman after all. :))) His favorite positions are full nelson, side fucking, doggy style (I will die on the hill he’s more of an ass then a titties man I don’t care!!!) and face sitting.

If you can get pregnant, pregnant sex is even more tender and loving. Usually taking brakes to pepper your body and face with little kisses. 

@cupcakeinat0r wrote a tasty yummy fic about growing old with Miguel, and I’ve had that stuck in my brain since then. Around his forties, Miguel’s really mellowed out. He’s not as a perfectionist or cold and irritable as he used to be. Having kids has helped him calm more, having a more relaxed approach to problems now. Then his quick to anger, slow to calm back down personality when he was acting as spider man. Getting married and having kids has helped him realize that he doesn’t have to be the tough guy in the room. Though his kids are just as stubborn as him now. 

I love the domestic potential of Retired!Miguel, you two having a song, that’s your song as a couple. Cooking dinner together for your little babies. Having a show you two watch an episode or two of after putting kids to bed. Sitting on the couch, your legs over his lap, drinking wine with a kids movie on as your makeshift date night. 🩷

[themsource]

A thought I had on Stan's Job

It's funny if you think about it. The Mystery Shack isn't even a scam really, people literally pay just to enjoy his creativity and made up stories similar to going to a circus or something.

They want a show.

That's why in ATOTS when given something real and cool they were like 'eh', even if they didn't understand it you would have thought the mystery of it would've gotten their attention, but no. They only had fun when they watched Stan assemble that skeleton and make up that 'out alive' bit on the spot. I feel tourists and the townspeople aren't as dumb as we think they are. 

As for his prices, while seemingly outrageous, are all for handmade items. We watch him literally put stuff together throughout the show. Like painting the 'golden nuggets'. It's basically buying from an arts and crafts artist, one of a kind items you can't get anywhere else except from him. So it is in a way reasonable if you've ever looked at indie creators online and have seen the effort and time they put into their stuff. Small 'creature' creators for example make really adorable fantasy dolls that can go for thousands!

Stan may have been a conman, but he did go into sales for honest work and only became a swindler when it didn't work out in order to get by and to try and earn his way back home so he'd be accepted by his father and therefore the rest of his family again. Because honestly he's not truly that stingy, it's all about 'having money and being able to provide equals being loved' mentality to him. There's a reason he gives Ford crap by saying 'selfishly hoarding your college money because you only care about yourself' during their argument and even goes so far to instantly check if he has the funds when Mabel asks about pizza after losing the shack.

By going to Gravity Falls and attempting to rescue Ford he managed to get himself out of the con game and inadvertently find himself honest work. Even if he does still regularly commit other crimes like shoplifting and tax fraud, his day job is legit.

[retirement-home-rumble]

To all the MCYT fans that have been apologizing to me this entire tournament and trying to assure me that these are not the real people and thanking me for allowing them while desperately trying to explain everything to me...

Now that the tournament is over, I have a picture to share with y'all (featuring a bonus Dixie):

Surprise? I am one of you already lmao

[osiiiris]

Copia,

Who comes into the bedroom with his pajama pants pulled up over his belly.

Copia,

Who lies down on the bed, exhaling the longest "eeehhhhhh" and once he's settled, sighs a tired "Here we go."

Copia,

Who lies supporting his shoulders on two pillows, pulls the blanket up to his chest, grabs a book or his phone, wears his reading glasses, and starts reading, lowering his head until he forms the cutest double chin.

[kev-smell-my-fart]

guys do you think pepperman wpuld paint himself nude. Artistically speaking.?

[tangentrina]

(My Yuri baby AU) Uncle Hong Lu had never received such a family gift before

[alighterwithlove]

if you talk to the average conservative voter, they'll always talk about their conservative representative with unabashed enthusiasm. "this guy is supporting my rights!!!!!" even when the representative is very much not supporting their voting constituents' rights in some cases (ie. poor white ppl not realizing they're getting poorer because of their representative)

and I bet that's why conservative candidates are so good at winning. any person listening to their voters only gets a great impression of the candidate.

and if you talk to the average liberal/leftist voter, they all hem and haw. "oh yeah, I voted for them but they're Okay, they're Disappointing. they haven't done this. they haven't done that." and I bet if you fucking pressed them to state some Good Beneficial Legislation they've passed, either the voter 1. can't name any, or 2. has to attach caveats. ("yeah biden passed student loan forgiveness BUT not ALL loans were forgiven")

why aren't we ever excited about incremental progress. why aren't we cheering to the sky about every win. maybe more people would vote if there was genuine excitement, the same type of excitement that conservative voters seem to have about anything labeled "conservative".

I'm just so fucking tired of hearing ppl be like "I'm just disillusioned with my leftist representative" EVERY TIME but are DEAD SILENT on the small victories, the progress. conservatives know how to do this, and that's why they build momentum into the next election. why does this seem impossible for the other side.

[sara-likes-things]

The thing about Matthew being a trumpie is that, as a latina fan, to learn that he agrees to all the shit Trump is doing and agreeing so proudly about it just lets me know why hockey is always going to be a white people sport, like Matthew was my favorite hockey player and now i just cant stan anything that has him in it because it doesnt feel right anymore, and yeah i know the majority of the players are republicans and being disappointed is on me but sorry for believing someone i liked well enough to be a fan is a good fucking person

[valar-did-me-wrong]

Okay this post has made me go crazy with ideas that will NEVER come to pass I know, but just humor me..

I wish ROP brings back all their iconic fallen characters' actors as Hobbits in the final season's final shots, set in what will become Hobbiton!!

Charles Edwards (Celebrimbor) all twinkling with excitement, explaining how he is upgrading his smial to a Hobbit girl with golden hair who turns around & we see it's Amelia Kenworthy (Mirdania) nodding!!

A family of Hobbits working on their crops and its Lloyed Owens (Elendil), Maxim Baldry (Isildur), Ema Horvath (Earien) & [anarion's actor], a lady hobbit enters the field with refreshments for everybody and it's Cynthia Addai-Robinson!! (Queen Miriel)

Sam Hazeldine (Adar S2) is selling fruits on a stand while flirting with Joseph Mawle (Adar S1), who is selling flowers just beside him!

Robert Strange (Glûg) & Geoff Morrell (Waldreg) are impatiently waiting for Sam to finish being a flirt so they can buy raspberries!!

Trystan Gravelle (Pharazon) & Leon Wadham (Kemen) are selling baked goods on a nearby stand & Alex Tarrant (Valandil) is bickering with them over prices while Anthony Crum (Ontamo) sneaks a muffin to eat.

Simon Merrells (Marchwarden) is showing off his biggest Pumpkins to Augustus Prew (Medhor) who is visibly very very bored.

Will Fletcher (Finrod) is going around the market with a beaming smile talking to everyone like he knows everyone! (he does)

Peter Mullan (Durin III) is smoking what will become Pipe-weed while chilling outside his smial.