#rest in peace?? shes been unlisted

[dutchwinter]

everything you do, it's like magic even when you swear to god, it's true...

[sibyl-of-space]

Final Fantasy IX ~ Melodies and Memories

"Jesters of the Moon"

There are a lot of very good video games in the world, but it takes some luck and circumstance outside of a game's control for one to reach me at just the right time(s) and place(s) in my life that it has a tangible impact on who I am -- who I want to be. One that carves out a space for itself in my soul that will never be removed or replaced.

I've just finished playing Final Fantasy IX for the first time, and there's no doubt in my mind that such is the case here.

(Continued below readmore.)

I drew this art last year, when I was mourning my attachment to an old favorite game that I just don't feel the same way about anymore: Majora's Mask. I wanted to draw something that captured my feelings about it, because sometimes art is the best way to talk about something when the words don't want to come.

Why is "Jesters of the Moon," the name of a random song in the Final Fantasy IX soundtrack, plastered in the middle of this Majora's Mask fanart? Especially considering I hadn't even played Final Fantasy IX yet when I drew this?

The reason is exactly that "luck and circumstance" that allowed me to fall so uniquely in love with the game.

"Mt. Gulug"

In 2008, someone on YouTube uploaded a Majora's Mask parody-slash-let's-play series called "Majora's Mask: The Things Which Were Taken Out." The series has since become unlisted and won't be linked here out of respect for the creator who probably doesn't want things they said and made in 2008 being spread all over the internet, but because of Unregistered Hypercam 2 reasons, the series inserted other background music over the video and didn't record the actual game audio.

I didn't recognize any of the music, but I watched these parody videos on repeat because in addition to being funny (...at the time, in my mind, at least), I really really loved the music. It got to the point where I would sometimes be playing Majora's Mask and get disappointed when I approached Goht and the Mt. Gulug theme wasn't playing in the background.

I had forgotten about these videos for a really long time in the interim, but I remembered them at some point when I was thinking about Majora's Mask and I found them again. The creator had cited the Final Fantasy IX soundtrack for virtually all of the background music used in the videos, and I realized that despite knowing literally nothing about the game, I had become really fond of - and weirdly nostalgic for - the songs from it that I now recognized.

So I looked up "Jesters of the Moon" and played it on repeat while I drew out my feelings in colored marker. A few months later, I realized that my backwards compatible PS3 can also play PS1 games, and eBay had FFIX for PS1 at a good price. I had nothing to lose by ordering it and seeing what the source of all that fantastic music was like.

"Vamo Alla Flamenco"

I started my playthrough knowing nothing about what to expect from the game. I'd never played a Final Fantasy game before and my overall JRPG experience has been mostly limited to Tales of, Persona, and more recently, mainline Shin Megami Tensei. The only things I knew about Final Fantasy were a) the Tidus laughing scene, and b) Sephiroth. IX seemed like it had vibes I would enjoy, but beyond that I knew nothing about what the experience would be. So I approached it with a "let's have fun and see how it goes" attitude, naming my party members the first silly thing that came to mind, ending up with "Swaggy," "OwO," "Bitchin," "Gunz," and "SWOOORD" to start with.

(For the record I do not regret those names whatsoever.)

I was immediately struck by how differently the game uses music in comparison to all of my previous JRPG experiences. This was not a game where the composer was given a list of theme songs that were slapped on top of a mostly completed game-- this was a game constructed with the soundtrack in mind as a part of the writing process.

The opening act plays almost like an opera (side note, yes I know one of the other FF's has a literal opera, I haven't played that one): you traverse the same locations from different perspectives as different characters, introducing the cast with lighthearted humor and dramatic irony out the wazoo. While you traverse the city as OwO, OwO's theme is playing in the background, coloring your perspective of the city and the narrative. When you switch to Gunz patrolling around the castle, Gunz's theme accompanies your movement and informs his character and mission. I am so accustomed to "location themes" being the norm in virtually all video games that experiencing character and/or narrative themes as BGM instead while I bumble around town changed my entire perspective on what music in games can do and be.

The operatic feeling is definitely intentional, because the game uses a play-within-a-game narrative device to hit you over the head with its themes in a way that is somehow poignant and artful while also being extremely blatant. That is a hard balance to strike, but it manages. The whole game is like that: it is completely straightforward and tells you exactly what it's about at heart, but it does it beautifully.

At any rate, I was enamored with this intro and had a very fun time, but I wasn't obsessed or anything and ended up putting it down. I spent several months on the first half of disk 1 with weeks passing between play sessions. I liked the game plenty, but life stuff happened and I decided to get obsessed with Dai Gyakuten Saiban and Ghost Trick for a while. No regrettis.

It was already clear, though, that FFIX was going to be special to me. My compositions for my team's game in the Global Game Jam in 2021 were directly inspired by FFIX's opera-like intro. I wrote two character themes for our game that would serve as background music when you play as the two protagonists, coloring your journey differently even when moving in the same spaces. I was intentionally trying to mimic the way music is used in FFIX as an exercise. The themes I wrote are definitely some of my strongest work so far.

(You can check out the game here if you want, I promise it is significantly shorter than Final Fantasy IX.)

"Melodies of Life"

Music caused me to pick up FFIX the first time, and music caused me to return to it. After months of not touching or really thinking about it, just earlier this week I was inspired to play it again, because - again - I listened to the right song at the right time.

I was again mourning the loss of something, in this case a friendship, for reasons I'm not going to share here. I had already heard the song "Melodies of Life" because it came up when I was looking up FFIX songs to reblog on Tumblr a few months ago, and I decided to listen to it again. Even without knowing the game context, the song itself really spoke to me in that moment: "a voice from the past, joining yours and mine, adding up the layers of harmony" - it kind of made me feel at peace with the fact that I had a lot of positive memories of that friendship and I could keep those at heart while also moving on in the present. ...I'm also a sucker for music metaphors, so there is that.

I was really moved by this song, cheesy as it is, and I was also definitely in the mood for a distraction. Picking up FFIX again felt like the best move.

It was, and my life is forever changed.

The game never stopped being beautiful and funny and touching, and the soundtrack never ceased to amaze. I recognized concepts I've seen in other games but never had I seen them used so artfully. I adored the fantasy world and non-human cast, I found myself enticed by random encounter for the first time because it made me feel like I had to struggle to survive a difficult journey. Music, gameplay, visuals, and story felt like one cohesive work of art for the entire duration.

Life circumstances got me to play the game again, but the game itself was so captivating and wonderful that I binged the entire rest of it - disks 2-4 - in less than a week. Everything else that the game had to say, it told me itself, in its own context, and I was ready to listen.

"You're Not Alone!"

This is going to make me sound like an emotionally-stunted twenty-something, but it has been years since a work of media has got me to have a really good cry. I used to cry playing games all the time as a kid but recently I'll find myself getting emotional, sure, often tearing up, but getting completely red-faced and snot-nosed because I physically cannot contain the emotions being evoked by a work? Years. I can't honestly tell you the last time it happened with certainty.

I feel like an emotional band-aid has been ripped off. I was f*cking sobbing during the entire duration of the "You're Not Alone!" sequence. It didn't matter that what was happening was obviously coming from a mile away, because the delivery was so raw and emotional and human!!! A whole game's worth of Swaggy punching first and asking questions later to save his friends, being Protag McProtag endangering himself for others in any and all circumstances, for the payoff of all of his friends forcing him to stop being such a primadonna and let them help him for once. It's true, too! He relies on them just as much as they rely on him! And the game doesn't just tell you this, no, it lets you try to solo all these fights and waits until you realize how boned you are until they come bail you out.

When Bitchin showed up with her "looks like you need a hand" I wanted to straight up yell at my tv. YES I DO!!! YES I DO NEED YOU BITCHIN!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!! I half knew that SWOOORD was going to heal me before I got truly KO-ed but I had been unmercifully wiped in "unwinnable" battles before in this game, so I legit thought I might have to re-do that whole part of the game again, and I was so relieved and thankful when she showed up and healed me.

This moment exemplifies everything that I adore about this game. It doesn't just tell you its story. It shows it to you, it sings it to you, and it and lets you play it out and feel it for yourself.

"Game Over"

This song is all too familiar to me. Gizamaluke's Grotto was very unforgiving for a first-time Final Fantasy player, especially one who didn't happen to pick up Big on the way for a fourth party member early on.

I hadn't heard the piano part in a few months, though, because when I picked the game back up I started just mashing to reload before it got to that point any time we wiped. I didn't hear it again until the game was truly over, this time for good.

I let it play for a while. Not too long, because I have a CRT TV and didn't want "The End" to get burned in. But a while. Enough to meditate on what I'd just experienced, and how I was feeling about it.

There's so much more to say about the game, far more than I could put in a blog post. But I don't think I need to describe these thoughts in words. I can do what the game did, and use music, use art, use stories, use metaphors, and use symbols to communicate what I mean; and hope that someone else is able and willing to listen.

And although a written record of my thoughts likely won't be preserved for all that long, maybe the feelings and the memories will be, so long as they have been shared.

[waterparchive]

Track By Track: ‘FANDOM’ with Waterparks

Brii Jamieson – October 21, 2019

Because who better to explain 'FANDOM' than the lads in Waterparks?

So now that we've all had a chance to listen to Waterparks' new album 'FANDOM' and properly mull it over and digest it, we thought that this would be an opportune moment to go through the album in more detail. But rather than us explaining the themes and nuances of the songs on the album, we asked Waterparks to talk us through each track on 'FANDOM'. Here we go.

01. ‘Cherry Red’ Awsten Knight: “I had another demo that I was doing of [‘Cherry Red’], and the file got corrupted. And I was like, ‘Fuck’. I couldn’t open it anymore, and dragged in all the pieces of audio, and just made new tracks of audio. I was going to try and rearrange it to the way I had it, but I pressed play and it sounded like ‘Cherry Red’ when it kicks in. I was just in my room like, ‘Oh shit!’ I was like, ‘Well that’s that’.

“That was fucking wild - but that’s the start to the best album in the world. It gives hints to the last song, because that last song goes, ‘So I must be dead’, and this one’s like, ‘You know I’d die for you’ - get it?”

02. ‘Watch What Happens Next’ Awsten: “‘Watch What Happens Next’ is me just being all, ‘Fuck y’all’. Not all of y’all, just like, a lot of y’all. Most of y’all. All of y’all!

“I overthink shit, a lot of shit. I’m in a band. I overthink being in a band a lot. And one of those things that I’ve overthought is how most other genres are able to celebrate their successes, and it’s a very looked-down-on thing in ‘band world’ to talk about most shit besides feelings. It’s really weird, and it doesn’t really make sense. It’s naïve to pretend that that’s the only thing that exists, and also kind of bad because it panders to people that are just stuck in this cycle of being fucking sad all the time. It makes for mopey high school kids - like me!

“It’s about, in the same regard, how bands aren’t allowed to experiment as much with music as other kinds of people. This isn’t me shitting on it - this is me saying we should be allowed to do it. But hip-hop albums that I really love are super fuckin’ artsy, and if a band were to do that it would be like, ‘What the fuck are y’all doing?’ because when a band switches up the tiniest little thing, [fans] are not about it at all. And it’s super dogshit, it’s very weird, and I think it holds the genre back as a whole, so it was a very frustrating thing for me. So I wrote about it, as I tend to do.”

03. 'Dream Boy' Awsten: “‘Dream Boy’ is about fan expectations. It’s about being built into something, based on an idealised version of you - an unwarranted one, at that - where people look at you as a certain thing. They see you online as, ‘Oh, he’s this and this and this’, and they put what they need you to be into their heads. It’s built into this thing that you cannot live up to, and it’s ultimately going to lead to disappointment - on their end, and my end, because it doesn’t feel good to let people down. But that’s just what happens. Pop banger, dude!”

04. 'Easy To Hate' Awsten: “That one was a ‘Friendly Reminder’ song actually, but it was just a really good song and everyone said I should keep it, and I was just like, ‘Yo, you’re right’. It’s about a break up. Yeah.”

05. 'High Definition' Awsten: “You guys are gonna make me cry by the end of this, and I’m gonna be like, ‘I hope you’re happy with this feature and you get your clicks’. Here we go.

“‘High Definition’ was the latest set of lyrics written for the album - it was the last thing. It’s about not being able to get close to people, because of what we do, being gone all the time. Or, you know, starting to have some kind of stature and not trusting the people who hit you up, because people may not have done so much before.

“There’s a song that’s all, ‘Back then hoes didn't want me, now I'm hot hoes all on me’ [Mike Jones’ ‘Back Then’] - but not in like a bragalicious way. It’s an, ‘I’m like really lonely, I hate all of this’, kind of way. It’s like that.”  

06. 'Telephone' Awsten: “‘Telephone’ was written when I was super fucking depressed - surprise - and I was at Target. I saw a cute girl at Target, and instead of being like, ‘Sup’ - I would have never done that anyway - I went home and wrote a super obsessive love song, and it was so tight.”

Geoff Wigington: “He called me and was like, ‘Dude, I’ve just seen the prettiest person at Target, I don’t even know what to do - I can’t find them now. I think I’m just gonna go home and write about it’.”

Awsten: “Did that happen?”

Geoff: “Yeah!”

Awsten: “Alright. Either way, I also don’t remember what they look like anymore. Because I saw the responses when I said that were like, ‘What does she look like, blah blah blah missed connection’, and I honestly don’t remember. It was like, January 2018. Yeah, so that song’s that.

“There’s another reason that it almost wasn’t on the album - the original version was kind of pop-punk sounding, and I was like, ‘Fuck that’. But the other reason is, I was trying to decide if it takes away from the album - but it doesn’t though. Because with some of the other themes of the album, it counts as the sugar-spike in [‘Fandom’]. Because when you’re dealing with some shit, you have hard ups and downs, and it’s kind of like a manic thing. It’s lodged between ‘High Definition’ which is a very lonely, isolating song, then you’ve got the ‘AAAAAAH!’ (we pretend that ‘Group Chat’ isn’t a thing for a second), and we have ‘Turbulent’. So it’s between those guys. That’s how it’s meant to be. It’s like, low - very high - very low.”

07. ‘Group Chat' Awsten: “Let’s talk ‘Group Chat’ dude.” [They literally just performed ‘Group Chat’ here. That’s the whole thing].

08. ‘Turbulent’ Awsten: “I was like, ‘I’m done with break up songs dude, I’m over it’. Then I got re-mad at some new shit. Then I was like, ‘You know what though, if we’re gonna do this, it’s gotta be crazy different from everything else, sonically and lyrically’, so instead of approaching it like, ‘Eh’, it was like, ‘Fuck you nerd, I’m way tighter than all of this shit’. Oh my god, and then sonically it was just so dark and shiny and fast, and I was like, ‘This is the best’. [‘Turbulent’] was the turning point for ‘Fandom’ - that was the first thing made after being like, ‘You know what, that one is not going to work, we’re gonna start over’. That was the first thing, and then I was like, ‘Oh, this is what we’re supposed to be doing, alright’.”

09. 'Never Bloom Again' Awsten: “That song has been in the process of being written since 2015. I’ve got real old versions of that. But the thing is, it just kept evolving - I kept doing new verses, and changing things in the hook and stuff like that. And there was a version of it that was ready around the time of ‘Entertainment’ - it wasn’t quite the same, but the reason it wasn’t on there was because I was like, ‘If it’s only 10 songs, there shouldn’t be two acoustic. That might be overkill’.”

10. 'I Miss Having Sex But At Least I Don't Wanna Die Anymore' Awsten: “‘I Miss Having Sex But At Least I Don’t Wanna Die Anymore’ is about missing having sex… but not wanting to die anymore. In the verses, I was just trying to talk directly to the fans - the first one that’s like, ‘Stop asking me that, don’t ask me that, I don’t wanna do that, I don’t wanna do that either’. It’s always somebody’s birthday. Always. But that song leaves nothing to be imagined… If somebody is like, ‘What’s that line mean?’, I’d be like, ‘Can you read?’. When I say all the lyrics in this album are a lot more blunt, this one is the perfect example of that.”

11. 'War Crimes' Awsten: “Oh. Bud-dy. Oh my lord. What a crazy song. Initially there was another version - or when I first started doing it, it was like a girly base and I was like, ‘Shut up Awsten! We’ve got way tighter shit to say’. It’s me venting about the past year and a half, but it’s like an overview of that time, and is just me bitching about all of it, because bitching is great.

“I mean, we’ve toured a lot, so we’ve experienced a lot with other bands. We’ve experienced a lot just with other people in general and how they are, and how they treat you when things suck - or when things are tight. Or how they treat me because I’m the singer, and he’s just the drummer!”

12. ‘[REBOOT]’ Awsten: “Oh man, that’s like the pettiest breakup song, but it’s so great. I sing so quick in that song, it’s really fun. I wanted that one to come out before [the album] because I worry when songs are towards the back of the album that they’re just not gonna be heard as much, and it’s just a little more sonically… I don’t wanna say low-key - but other songs slam, or I’m like screaming and shit. I wanted to make sure it got its highlight.

“And plus, shout out to those Marilyn Manson-sounding vocals in the chorus - because I didn’t want it to stay the same dynamically, but when we tried to make it go up it just sounded dumb. I was like, ‘Do you know what we have to do? We have to go gloomier. Just sink that bottom half with some real dark shit, some real minor stuff in there’. We made it sound just like Marilyn Manson and it was crazy, and I was like ‘there it is! Bop!’.”

13. ‘Worst’ Awsten: “‘Worst’ was written in March 2019. That’s a lie.

“‘Worst’ started the way most demos do - on the laptop. But then I got upset! And I went and walked to Starbucks and put it on YouTube one morning after seeing some stuff online, and left it unlisted for a minute because I knew our old label would be like ‘waaa’ about it. So I left it up for a minute on unlisted so if people had the link they could find it, but then I deleted the tweet. So I just let it circulate, and dude that shit had like 30,000 views, which back then was like, a lot - because that was back before ‘Entertainment’. Then they made me put it on private, because they found that and Felony Steve: rest in peace Felony Steve (he’ll be back). But then people kept re-uploading it, and one of them has like 400,000 something views right now, which is crazy. So I was just like, ‘I think I can do that song way fucking better’, and sonically it’s completely different now. Yeah, that song is fuckin’ tight. It’s one of the more genre-unique songs on the album.”

14. ‘Zone Out’ Awsten: “‘Zone Out’ came before ‘Dream Boy’ - it was stuck in my head for a long time, and finally I just recorded that chip-tune version of it, for me. But it was kind of ad-libby and shit. So once I got more of the lyrics together I did that. I was just listening to it on repeat because I was like, ‘This is so beautiful’, but then I was like, ‘You know what, this song should be like a full-on pop banger’, and then ‘Dream Boy’ happened. But it’s meant to be like a reflection at the end of the album, kind of like, after all this shit. And it’s kind of more shaky sounding, low��� a little more sarcastic at that point.”

15. ‘I Felt Younger When We Met' Awsten: “What a fuckin’ hit. Yeah, that song, there was a version of it for ‘Friendly Reminder’, but it was just super light and it just didn’t do its job. I was like, ‘It’s just not impacting the way it needs to, so it needs to be rewritten’, and now it’s the fucking most insane intro on the entire album - oh my god. When we first got that at the studio, I was in the car with it and I was just like, ‘Woah’, turned it up way to loud, and just started it over when it got to the verse. So crazy.

“That song lyrically links back in to ‘Cherry Red’ - because it’s all meant to be very cohesive, even with the album art and stuff like that. Like the clock hands on the orange - that’s supposed to be the visual, and the ticking at the end represents that it’s about to start over again. Because it’s cyclical! Because guess what, dude? One of the fucking themes, part of the concepts of ‘Fandom’ is grief, and grief is a fucking loopy thing, it’s not a straight path - sometimes you gotta start over again. And you know what? The album did that: sonically, visually, conceptually. It’s a concept album, give us a five.”

https://www.rocksound.tv/features/read/track-by-track-fandom-with-waterparks

[ladylynse]

Here’s an old, partial Danny Phantom fic I’d started at one point. Post-Phantom Planet

“Man,” Danny groaned, “sometimes I just wish no one else knew my secret!” It wasn’t a secret anymore, of course. The entire world knew. But things would be easier if they didn’t. Wouldn’t they? Maybe not, given how literally Desiree grants wishes.

Whoever thought being rich and famous would be great had clearly never experienced a taste of either. Danny Fenton had, at different times, experienced both. At first, being rich had seemed like a dream come true, but it hadn’t taken him—or anyone else in his family, for that matter—long to realize that he’d been happier before it had happened. They’d had the good fortune to be able to leave the life of the rich behind—and, with it, their mansion next to Vlad Masters’ home, thankfully—and resume their normal lives again, all the wiser for their experience.

Being famous was something that had happened exclusively to Danny. For all that he wasn’t the genius in the family, he was the one who had ghost powers. He was Danny Phantom. He was Amity Park’s hero. Well, he was now that he was no longer Public Enemy Number One. And, since the fiasco with the Disasteroid, he was the acknowledged hero worldwide.

He hadn’t wanted that recognition, exactly. He’d have been happy just to get his parents off his back. He hadn’t needed statues of him to be built in every capital city of the world. That was just embarrassing, he’d thought. Yes, he’d saved everyone, but he’d had help, and anyone—well, except for maybe Vlad, who would have done so only for his own purposes—would have saved everyone if they’d been able to simply because they’d had the opportunity. He hadn’t done anything special.

But he was being hailed as a hero nonetheless, and with that, he got a lot of unwanted attention.

Things had been simpler, really, back when his ghost powers had been a secret from all but a select few. Danny Phantom was still famous in Amity Park, and he was either hunted by ghost hunters, his parents included, or hounded by fans, but he could leave all that behind. He could step out of the limelight. A quick change in an empty room, darkened alley, abandoned building, what have you, and he could return to being plain old Danny Fenton. Just a kid, a loser, the lowest of the low on Casper High’s social food chain and the favourite punching bag of one Dash Baxter.

Okay, so maybe being plain old Danny Fenton had had its downsides, too, but he’d never been mobbed by people or followed by the media or anything when he wasn’t Phantom. And, heck, the time Amorpho had shown up, they’d both learned the value of anonymity. He’d loved being able to leave the spotlight behind.

That wasn’t possible now.

The whole world knew his secret. Not just his best friends, Sam and Tucker, and his sister, Jazz, along with a variety of his enemies, Vlad included. It had its benefits, of course. His parents didn’t hunt him anymore, and they’d accepted him. Valerie had even apologized to him for hunting him down, too. Dash didn’t try to shove him into lockers anymore. His teachers would let him write make-up tests if a ghost attacked and he had to leave during the middle of an exam, and they were more lenient on homework due dates for him, too, so he was doing better in school.

The best part, though, was that he and Sam were together now. And it meant Tucker had stopped making cracks about them being lovebirds, for the most part. But he wasn’t clueless anymore, and he knew how much Sam meant to him, how much she’d always meant to him, and it was even easier than he’d thought to overlook Paulina and any of the other girls who had tried to get a date with him after his secret had been revealed.

The fact that Vlad was gone, stuck on the Disasteroid and floating somewhere in space, didn’t hurt anything, either. The rest of the ghosts still plagued Amity Park since his parents had fixed the Fenton Ghost Portal, but at least they didn’t try to capture anyone (except for him, especially in Skulker’s case). Danny couldn’t help but wonder if it was out of boredom—along with a desire to escape the Ghost Zone, of course. But for all that a bunch of the local ghosts kept trying to push the limits, they hadn’t tried ganging up on him and he hadn’t had to deal with anyone really, really strong. The fact that everyone knew his secret, that it was no longer something that the ghosts could hold over his head and taunt him with, meant the dynamic had shifted a bit.

But it was the other shift, the fact that Danny Fenton was just as famous as Danny Phantom, that Danny was having trouble getting used to. And it had been, what, three months? He hadn’t had any peace. Any.

The media trailed him wherever he was. People stared at him, even kids he’d known all his life. His parents had gotten an unlisted number, but it had gotten out somehow, and the phone kept ringing off the hook. His dad was threatening to get rid of the phone altogether if it didn’t stop. He had to keep switching cell phone numbers, too. And the letters. He’d gotten letters requesting help from people in different countries, for goodness sakes! He wasn’t even sure how they’d gotten his address.

He’d had to close his email account for the same reason, as well as the one he’d opened to replace it, and it hadn’t taken him long to realize that people were using every form of communication they could to get in touch with him.

They weren’t going to move. He should be thankful for that. But he’d heard his parents mention it, if only wistfully. While the attention wasn’t focused on them, they weren’t spared from it, either, and neither was Jazz.

It was getting to the point where Danny would actually be quite happy to go and visit Aunt Alicia for a few weeks. It might be Tucker’s worst nightmare, but right now, he’d welcome escaping technology. He would miss running water and indoor plumbing a lot more than electricity, but at least it would be difficult for them to follow him, wouldn’t it?

Probably not. Back when he’d only been famous as Phantom, Danny had realized that some of the media people were really determined. And crazy. Admirable, he supposed, but annoying for him, since too many of them seemed to see him as their newest ‘story’. Now? Now, it was just ten times worse. A hundred, even.

His mom was still talking about home schooling them, too. Invisibility and intangibility—and flight, when it came down to it—really helped to get away from the press, but the constant attention wasn’t easy, and it was even wearing on Jazz. She didn’t show it much, but Danny could see it.

The pile of broken pencils in the garbage can beside the desk in her room made that pretty clear, too.

At least his parents had managed to hold off the Guys in White. They were probably the main reason Danny hadn’t been shipped off and locked away in some government facility to be studied for the unique specimen he was. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that the Guys in White hadn’t given up, that they weren’t just waiting until everything died down a bit, until they could find some loophole that would tie his parents’ hands and let them spirit him away….

He wasn’t safe anymore. He’d never really been safe safe, not since the accident, but he’d been marginally safer when his secret had been, well, a secret. The Guys in White were determined, after all, and had become increasingly competent. Him being half-human wasn’t enough to stop them from seeing him as a ghost to be dissected and studied, nothing more than an unfeeling and exceedingly unique specimen. If he’d had any doubts, they’d all been banished by the way he’d been chased down when his secret had first been revealed to the world during the incident with the Reality Gauntlet.

Then, he’d been able to turn the clock back, in a way. He’d remodelled reality, let it resemble what it was supposed to, the way things had been before Freakshow had escaped and used the Reality Gauntlet in the first place. He’d taken away the memories of the entire nightmarish incident from everyone except those who had known beforehand. Everything had gone back to normal, or, at least, what had become normal. It had been a relief.

He didn’t have any such solace now, though he couldn’t say he regretted not having to keep a secret from his parents.

There was a meteor shower tonight, so at least he didn’t have to wonder which ghost was likely to show up. Desiree never missed anything like this. She had an annoying habit of managing to turn up at little kids’ birthday parties, too, he’d found. She was easy enough to deal with, but she always managed to wreak a little bit of havoc before he caught her. And tonight, well, she could be anywhere.

That was why he was out early; only the first stars were starting to show up. He was invisible, of course. That was the only way he could go anywhere without being followed these days. This time last year, he probably would have taken a bit of time to enjoy studying the night sky. Once he caught Desiree, the only ones who could’ve stopped him would’ve been his parents, or maybe Valerie, unless one of his ghostly enemies had decided to show up.

A quick patrol meant Desiree was still managing to keep ahead of him. The first few shooting stars streaked across the sky, and Danny started his rounds again, looking for a party of some sort. Desiree was more likely to go to a larger crowd of people than to pick off strag—

“Ghost boy!”

Danny blinked. He wasn’t flying over Casper High anymore, and he didn’t need his ghost sense going off to tell him why. As it was, he was holding Paulina. Drifting lazily above her backyard. Danny put her down on the grass. “Paulina,” he said slowly, “you know I’m dating Sam….” Paulina wasn’t the only one who had persisted in calling him ‘ghost boy’, but she was one of the few girls Sam hadn’t been able to scare off. Danny had the uncomfortable feeling that Paulina saw this as a challenge, and she was stubborn enough not to back down. This just proved it. Again.

Paulina Sanchez pulled a face. “Danny,” she purred, “just for one night, don’t you think—?”

“For the last time, no, Paulina,” Danny said. He turned around to see a smirking Desiree. He was surprised she was still here, actually, but he supposed she was waiting for Paulina to make another wish. He could guess what it was.

He let his hands glow green as he rose in the air to face Desiree. “It wasn’t very smart to let her wish me here, you know,” he said. “You’re just making my job easier.”

Desiree laughed. “I grant them as I hear them, Phantom.”

Danny frowned. “No, you don’t. You twist them. That’s what you do. Make monster trucks actual monster trucks and all that.” He glanced back down at Paulina. “What’d you wish for?” he asked, suddenly wary.

“Oh, the usual boring drivel,” Desiree answered. “To spend the night in your arms and that sort of thing. You’re confined here until dawn, if you’re wondering, while I’m out granting wishes.” Her smile grew suddenly. “Have fun.”

“Hey!” Danny yelled, sending an ectoblast after her. She might not have had a lot of time to grant wishes, but she still looked a bit too strong to be easily caught in the thermos, even if he wished her in there. “You can’t do that!”

Another laugh. “I already have.”

Danny sent another ectoblast in her direction and flew towards her. Desiree hadn’t trapped him in a cage, after all. She couldn’t seriously expect—

Danny groaned and twisted around in the air to right himself after the impact. He’d hit…something, and had only barely managed to dodge his own ectoblast, which had been reflected back at him by that same something. “What’d you do,” he asked, rubbing his nose, “put up an invisible ghost shield that only works on me?”

Desiree, who was three feet away and somehow out of his reach, smirked again. “Height restriction’s twenty feet,” she said.

“My parents can get me out of here, you know,” he warned her.

Desiree shrugged. “It won’t matter what form you’re in. You’re not leaving that yard until the sun comes up, even through the Ghost Zone. You might as well enjoy yourself.”

“Enjoy myself?” Danny repeated. “Sam’s going to kill me even if I don’t land all night!” This was one benefit with Desiree; he could sometimes distract her with conversation, so long as he watched what he said. It wasn’t much different than letting Technus get caught up in one of his rants, really. It bought him time.

Of course, he still had no idea what to wish for to get out of this.

Then again, maybe he didn’t have to. Danny smiled. He’d fought Desiree often enough that he’d realized he could sometimes exploit a loophole in one of her wishes, sort of like she could take a general wish and turn it into a nightmare. He didn’t know the exact terms of this one, but he was pretty sure it would work.

Desiree noticed his smile and crossed her arms. “You aren’t getting out of this one until your time’s up,” she said.

“I can make Paulina regret her words,” he said. “She’ll kick me out. I’ll catch up with you in five minutes.”

“I’ll save you the trouble,” Desiree said. “You can’t go invisible or intangible, as per your friend’s instructions. She didn’t want to lose her hold on you.”

Great. That probably meant that even if he did manage to get out of the yard, he’d be bogged down by everyone else he was trying to avoid. “Hey, wait!” he yelled as Desiree started off again. “I’m not done talking to you yet.”

A laugh. “I’m done with you,” came the reply. “Can’t you hear all the wishes people are making, Phantom? It’s glorious.”

It was also resulting in, from what he could see, things like three-headed dragons and wild horses and—who the heck would wish for a fifty-foot snake? Okay, so he couldn’t understand the dragon, either. He suspected the horses were a result of a little girl wishing for a pony or two, though. Stupid traditions of wishing on shooting stars….

“I wish,” Danny yelled, causing Desiree to stop and look back at him again, “I wish…. Man, sometimes I just wish no one else knew my secret!” He wouldn’t be in this position if Paulina didn’t know he was Fenton and Phantom. Well, he might be in this position as Phantom, but if he’d snuck away and Fenton turned up, he’d be out on the street in no time. Before she’d found out he was the ghost boy, the only time Paulina had had time for him was when she’d wanted something.

Desiree had an incredulous look on her face, and she flew closer to him again. “Really?” she asked.

Danny suddenly had a very, very bad feeling. “Um…no?”

He’d asked Clockwork if he could have a do-over of the events that followed the Disasteroid and had been refused. He hadn’t thought to ask Desiree before. Well, yes, he had, but he’d ruled that out. Desiree couldn’t pull something like that off. As far as he knew, it was out of her power range.

Danny looked at Desiree’s enlarged form and swallowed.

Her usual power range, anyway.

Now that he thought about it, it probably wasn’t. If he hadn’t revealed himself in front of the TV cameras, the people who knew his secret would be considerably fewer. And Desiree could handle wiping the memories of a handful of people. She’d done it when she’d erased Sam from his life, after all.

Oh, crud. Why had he ever opened his mouth? He knew better than to make careless wishes in front of Desiree. And he knew he could’ve said something a heck of a lot more harmless.

Unfortunately, there was ‘knowing’ and there was ‘doing’.

“I, uh, take it back? I wish I hadn’t made that wish?”

Desiree laughed. “Doesn’t work like that,” she said. “So you have wished it, so shall it be!”

As the wave of power rolled towards Danny, he closed his eyes and flinched away, knowing things were going to be a whole lot worse when he opened them again.

2XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Yoo-hoo! Ghost boy!”

Danny cracked open one eye. Desiree was gone, but that wasn’t a surprise. With both eyes open again, he tentatively put a hand forward and found that he was still bound to Paulina’s yard. Great. That hadn’t changed, either.

He looked down to see Paulina waving at him and couldn’t help but wonder if anything had changed. Maybe Desiree had been bluffing after all. About being able to un-wish a wish, at least. She probably hadn’t been kidding about putting a cap on how high he could fly or anything like that, though. He wasn’t that lucky.

He sighed and drifted back to the ground. “Paulina, I can’t—”

“Oh, you remember me!” He suddenly found himself enfolded in a hug. “I knew you would!”

“Uh, Paulina?” Danny said, trying—and failing—to phase through her arms to get out of her death grip. “Why didn’t you think I’d know who you were?” Maybe Desiree hadn’t been bluffing after all.

Paulina smiled at him. “We never have been properly introduced,” she said.

Danny swallowed. Okay, Desiree hadn’t been bluffing. But he didn’t really want to find out what Paulina meant by ‘properly introduced’. This time last year, yes, he probably would’ve been overjoyed. Now?

Now, he had to get out of here before Sam really had a reason to kill him.

[buttercream-imagines]

12 Days of Imagines || Jack

all masterposts found here

pairing - Jack x reader [ft Zoe Sugg, Niomi Smart, Tanya Burr, Louise Pentland, Caspar, Joe, Oli, Josh, and Marcus Butler] word count - 1,169 warnings - none A/N -

summary - The one based off of All I Want For Christmas Is You

--

You loved being a part of the YouTube community, you really did. You loved making videos and meeting new people and helping make people smile, but you were gradually learning all of the downsides to being friends with such big named people.

You were part of Gleam so, like everyone else, you attended their Christmas party. Every person had a drink in one hand and a camera in the other, and with so many people, it was hard to find a moment of peace. But you were having a blast getting drunk off your ass and filming every moment, just like everyone else. The repercussions didn’t arise until much later.

It had been three days since the party when the tweets started rolling in. You had a feeling you were screwed when everyone kept sending you Marcus’ vlog at the 9:24 mark. Accompanied by the tweets were texts from a few of your friends. You debated which to acknowledge first and decided with the tweets. You figured all of the texts would be about the vlog anyway, so you might as well get that over with first.

You stood beside Zoe, your drink almost empty in your hand. The two of you were laughing and chatting, you much more under the influence than she. You hardly noticed Marcus, Jim, and Tanya vlogging beside you, having a conversation of their own. “What do you want for Christmas, Zo?” you shouted to Zoe over the flow of voices around you.

“I don’t know,” Zoe laughed. “There’s nothing I’ve been itching to get my hands on.”

“Nothing?” you repeated. Zoe shrugged and you rolled your eyes playfully. “Zoella! The girl who has everything!”

“Shut up,” she laughed back. “Why, what do you want for Christmas?”

“You know what I want for Christmas!” you said to her.

“No I don’t,” she said. “What do you want?”

“All I want for Christmas is Jack fucking Maynard!”

You paused the video and felt your jaw drop. You were so loud in your discussion that it matched the volume of Marcus speaking with Jim and Tanya.  Even though you were in the background, it was no wonder people had noticed it. How had Marcus not noticed it?

You decided to open your texts next. You had ones from Zoe, Niomi, Tanya, Louise, Caspar, Joe, Oli, Josh, Marcus, and Jack. You decided to open the texts fro the girls first. They had all said about the same thing.

Have you seen Marcus’ vlog? He caught us talking about Jack

Marcus caught you and Zoe talking about Jack!

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you should look at Marcus’ vlog. He caught you and Zoe talking about Jack whilst he was filming us. I’m so sorry!

I’m sure everyone’s already told you, but Marcus got you speaking with Zo about Jack. You might want to have a look

You read all of those then decided to go to the buttercreams who had responded.

You didn’t tell me you fancied Jack!

I have a feeling you didn’t want Marcus to catch that conversation at 9:24. You might want to check it out

I don’t know if you heard about Marcus’ vlog but he caught you talking about Jack with Zoe. I know me and Joe know but I wasn’t sure who else you wanted to know that. Probably not all of YouTube

9:24 in Marcus’ vlog

Next, you read Marcus’ text which was an extensive apology.

(Y/N) I’m so so sorry. I don’t know how I didn’t catch that. It was late when I was editing and I just wanted to get it done. I’ve put it as unlisted but I can make it private or take it down or whatever you want. Just let me know. I’m really sorry

You replied to Marcus and told him to private it for the time being. Once you talked to Jack, you would be able to decide if it could ever see the light of day again. From what you could see, it seemed like all the damage was done. Finally, with a deep breath, you opened Jack’s text.

You want to come over today?

You assumed he knew about the vlog but was choosing to play it casual. You responded with agreement and you both decided you should head over in the evening. This left you an entire day to anxiously await what you assumed would be the ending of your friendship.

You got to Jack’s flat around 7:00. He let you in and gave you a smile as though nothing out of the ordinary was happening. You would’ve rather had him laugh at you than pretend like everything was fine. After about an hour passed, you realized he was just trying to get you both a little buzzed before the inevitable conversation had to happen. After you both had enough alcohol to feel calm but not drunk, Jack spoke.

“So I saw Marcus’ vlog,” he said, attempting to keep his voice casual.

“I kind of figured,” you said back.

“So...”

You sighed and put your beer down, running your fingers through your hair and sitting more comfortably on the couch. “I’m going to be blunt,” you said, “because frankly, that’s the only way I’m going to be able to get through this. I don’t care about presents or stockings or any of that shit. It’s true, what I said to Zoe. I just want you. If I could make a list and send it to Santa, it would just say Jack Maynard across the top. And maybe that sounds crazy or obsessive or psychotic, but it’s true. I know you’re one of my best friends and everything, but I want more than that. I want kisses under the mistletoe and cuddles around the fire and, I don’t know, you. I don’t know how else to say it. I want you for my own, more than you could ever know.”

You took a deep breath once you finished and reached for your beer again, but Jack stopped you. He set his beer down before leaning in and pressing his lips to yours. You kissed him back immediately, your mind going crazy trying to process what was happening. Jack pulled you onto his lap so you were straddling him as you continued to kiss. His hands gripped your waist tightly and your fingers tugged at his hair. He groaned into your kiss and you couldn’t help but smile against his lips.

You pulled away and rested your forehead against his. “If I had known this is the reaction I would’ve gotten, I would’ve told you this a long time ago,” you said softly. Jack laughed and placed a softer kiss to your lips.

“I can’t believe it took Marcus fucking up a vlog edit to give me the balls to kiss you,” he scoffed. “I’m sorry I never told you sooner.”

“I don’t care,” you said immediately. “I like that you made my Christmas wish come true.”

[keyoshakiranalmedia]

WEEK 18 - TRAILER 1 DONE, TRAILER 2 BEGINS

To continue with editing, this week, the colour-grading was a matter of only a few minutes, as we already had the colour pallette ready we just had to view those colours and Vedant added that to the library scene, just to try out if it matches the entire trailer, Vedant placed it and while viewing it looked perfect! it gave us the exact effect that we were in need of. 

^The colour palette for the garden scene.

Something different that we tried is to use the 16:9 film gates from the top and bottom of the frame. This would give it a more cinematic effect.

^Film gates in trailer 1.

Last touch-ups were done to trailer 1 like shifting the slates to another layer so that the colour grade does not affect it as well. Then adding dissolves and dip to black and white and adjusting the clips according to the black bars.

TRAILER ONE COMPLETED!

Trailer 2 now begins... Vedant began arranging the shots for trailer 2 as per the screenplay and cut the shots to bring them together in harmony. For the trailer to look better we added the goons scene first as it grabs the attention of the audience at the beginning itself, after which we have the following scenes as per the screenplay. 

^Posterized clip of the goons scene.

To try something out of the box Vedant posterized the clip- goon scene- which makes it dramatic and gives it a look like a fast-forwarded shot. After which he looked for appropriate soul-stirring music which is also at a fast pace. We wanted this trailer to be unlike the first trailer which was slow. The anthemic background music was from the movie ‘Joker’(2019). We now needed something dissimilar to it for the happy scenes. So I suggested that we have sounds of birds chirping which shows happiness. Vedant and I searched for sounds that would match the scenes filled with joy, so we found out a tune of crystals tinkling which was giving out a feeling of desire.

^Main theme song.

To make more sense out of the trailers we placed the highlighting shot at first that would show the rest of the trailer from Preeti’s perspective and would allow the audience to understand it better.

^Start of trailer 2.

We then did the titling for the trailer and kept it right towards the end so the audience can register the name of the film and other details. An unconventional method of presenting the trailer was used as we included a post trailer shot of Preeti crying and Avinash throwing vessels around and banging the troubling her. This was incorporated to increase the disturbance and intensity of the product. 

^Post trailer shot.

As this year we did not do dubbing we had to record a few dialogues again so Vedant and I went to do this for Avinash’s dialogues as it weren't clear through the pilot track or the recorder. So we went to an empty classroom in the school and recorded his dialogues with much more rage and anger in him. I tried to give him a demo of how the dialogues have to be said. 

^Giving a demo to sir.

While Vedant went on to match the sounds and dialogues I had to record the answers for my CCR as I planned on doing something creative from last year, I  chose to do a slideshow with voiceover. 

^Recording CCR answers.

In terms of colour grading, we used a lilac to pink tone for the garden shot, blue tone to the scene where Avinash shouts at Preeti and a mustard yellow to orange tone for the library and hiding shot. This was an easy process as we already had our colour palette ready.

^Lilac tone applied to the shot to show the love developing between characters.

Lastly, we added the film gates to this trailer as well but in a way that they slowly come inward onto the screen to enhance the trailer. Last touch-ups were made to the trailer like checking the titles, audio and video.

^Film gates for trailer 2.

TRAILER TWO COMPLETED!

After the end of both trailers, we were relieved as we met with the deadline. Now we all had to work on our blogs and CCR. I started by arranging the audio into each answer and also created 4 different bins for each answer so while adding videos or photos no confusion occurs. As the first answer was very long it took time to cut.

^4 bins created.

Furthermore, before working on the audio, I had to do noise reduction so that the backgrounds sounds are removed. Sir taught me how to do it on Adobe audition which was very easy after a few tries. Even though the process to arrange clips and match them, I enjoyed working on Adobe premiere pro. For the clip play harmoniously I added peaceful background music so that it does not get monotonous. 

^Process of noise reduction.

As for the images and videos, I took a few from our product and some off the internet. Matching them to the same time limit as the audio was difficult and time-consuming but once I got the hang of it, it became smooth. 

Moreover, this week, our principal viewed both the trailers and said that she is eager to watch the whole film; this boosted our spirit and we also have ideas of maybe making a short film based on the plot of “CANVAS”. After we got the approval, we posted the trailers on YouTube as unlisted on the account of Canvas2k20 and then linked them to the website. 

^Upload of trailer 1.

^Upload of trailer 2.

After the completion of my blogs and CCR I come to an end of component 3 and now look forward to answering the writing paper (component 4). The entire course of Media studies has been a great exposure to the filming process and the digital world along with exploiting the creativity in each one us. Working in groups also taught us how important it is to hear everyone out which turns out to be great learning. I would want to work on my own ideas and turn them into products that would be displayed to large scale audiences.

[realtorsandloans]

Forget Zillow, Hire The Best Coto de Caza Realtors

Living in Orange County comes with a myriad of great benefits, yet certain locales tend to have their own unique attributes that set them apart from the rest. Coto de Caza is one such neighborhood. One of the oldest master-planned communities in the county, it consists of about 4,000 homes. Here are some reasons why moving to Coto de Caza makes for a great investment.

Why Coto de Caza

Ultimate Privacy

The entire community is guard-gated, meaning excellent shared security. For individuals and families that value their privacy and safety, Coto de Caza should be a top pick. There is a very low crime rate and it is the epitome in secluded country style living. The security personnel is also very responsive.

Low Traffic

Being a low-density community, there is little traffic to contend with here. With an average of about 3 residents per household, locals do not have to worry about backed up roads. Once you get to the nearby I-5, you can easily get to anywhere in Orange County.

Natural Surroundings

Besides the generously sized lots with typically long driveways, front and backyards with swimming pools being a common sight, residents also get to enjoy easy access to wild nature. The community is surrounded to the northern, southern, and eastern sides by the Thomas F. Riley Wilderness Park. An ecological preserve for endangered wildlife and plant species, it is a popular setting for hikers, mountain bikers, and equestrians. An eighteen-minute drive will also easily get you to the beach.

Reasons to Opt for a Realtor Over Zillow?

Sites like Zillow do seem to have made house hunting and selling easier but the reality is a little more complicated. These sites help prospective buyers learn the kinds of properties available in different neighborhoods but are often slow at updating info, so many end up focusing their efforts to view and buy a property that was already closed on. Coto de Caza realtors are better placed to provide real-time information on which properties are actually still available.

Realtors are also a better investment thanks to their negotiation skills. A good realtor will have the most up to date market rates and is best positioned to negotiate on your behalf with the seller. Properties sold through realtors tend to sell about 6% higher than those owner-sold. Besides the money they can save you with proper pricing, there is also the technical aspects where they can provide you access to qualified home inspectors and tradesmen.

When looking for homes for sale in Coto de Caza, you will find that what is on offer on Zillow is very different from what a reputable realtor will show you. Many homeowners in such upscale neighborhoods prefer to remain unlisted and will only work with certain OC realtors to find buyers for their homes. Buyers often miss out on amazing properties because of failing to go with those with insider knowledge.

Another upside, particularly for sellers is that a realtor will provide a helpful buffer. Rather than contend with countless queries from numerous buyers, many of whom may not even be viable, you can just have a realtor handle it all. You can even arrange for them to carry out viewing when you are not around so you do not have to encounter strangers on your property.

The Top 3 Coto De Caza Realtors

1. June Kausler – Keller Williams Realty

No one understands better that for those looking to buy into the Coto de Caza community it is not just about buying a home, but rather a lifestyle. The peaceful and secluded nature of this community is something June has long appreciated and worked hard at ensuring she matches to those that appreciate it. She takes time to understand the needs of her clients before setting out to find them the best-suited candidate properties. Her efforts have also been well received by sellers in the community who have lauded her for strong communication and excellent marketing skills.

2. Kathy Clancy – Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage

A native of southern California and 12-year veteran of the real estate business, Kathy has positioned herself as one of the best Coto de Caza realtors through her excellent insider knowledge of the community and its neighborhoods. She has helped many newcomers find just the right Coto de Caza homes for sale at the right place through her unique insight and keen thoughtfulness. Her determined nature and attention to detail have served her well as a talented negotiator who works diligently on behalf of her clients to secure the best deal possible.

3. Mike Ameel – Coto de Caza Real Estate

One of the longest-serving and successful OC realtors, Mike is himself a resident of Coto de Caza since 1993 and is highly knowledgeable in all it has to offer for newcomers to the community. His long service has seen him buy and sell properties on behalf of many families for up to three generations. His professional nature, sharp negotiating skills, in-depth knowledge, and courtesy has endeared him to many who regularly come back to him for help with any real estate interests in and around the Coto de Caza region.

Source: https://www.ocrealtordirect.com/

[valerybrennan]

Empowering Women Through Art – Guest Post

Note from Valery: Hi! This is another guest post showcasing an amazing woman artist and fellow Denver business owner. Tiffany is an artist and the owner of Paint Me Nickel – make sure to go give her Facebook page some love. Just as a content warning, this post does discuss sexual assault and violence against women, but I think it’s a really important one to share, especially in today’s political climate. 

My name is Tiffany Dee Nickel and I am an artist. I paint mostly women.  My work touches on the concept of insecurities that have encompassed women from very young ages. As a female artist, I believe embodying a change in the way women are viewed as my province. Women need to band together to love ourselves and each other more than we do. We need to embrace our bodies and acknowledge and accept our differences. We have been taught that we are responsible for everything that ever happens to us good our bad. We are constantly judged based on our body types, clothing, makeup, and attitude, simply because we are female. The women in my paintings are faceless and brightly colored. The reason for this is because my work is meant to be representative of not one woman but of millions. The women depicted, represent any woman who has ever felt ashamed, demeaned, insecure, overweight, underweight or less in any way than she really is. We all have worth, we are all beautiful and we all need to be reminded of that. The colors in my paintings represent the truest sense of confidence and acceptance of our many differences. I believe that bright and fun colors express a feeling of love, warmth and confidence and can help brighten up any space. The time to love ourselves, our quirks, our curves and who we are is, now. By embracing our uniqueness we become powerful and by accepting our beauty and differences we can change the narrative.

As females we are constantly judged to the very harshest conditions. We are not only judged by men but we are also judging each-other, based on our attitude, makeup, clothing, weight, hairstyle, the amount of sex we have or don’t have so on and so forth. Today though I am going to address sexual assault and rape and how my experiences has shaped my art into what it is today.

To start I’d like to share a quote from Jack Katz-

“I draw a line down the middle of a chalkboard, sketching a male symbol on one side and a female symbol on the other.

Then I ask just the men: What steps do you guys take, on a daily basis, to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted? At first there is a kind of awkward silence as the men try to figure out if they’ve been asked a trick question. The silence gives way to a smattering of nervous laughter. Occasionally, a young a guy will raise his hand and say, ‘I stay out of prison.’ This is typically followed by another moment of laughter, before someone finally raises his hand and soberly states, ‘Nothing. I don’t think about it.’

Then I ask the women the same question. What steps do you take on a daily basis to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted? Women throughout the audience immediately start raising their hands. As the men sit in stunned silence, the women recount safety precautions they take as part of their daily routine.

Hold my keys as a potential weapon. Look in the back seat of the car before getting in. Carry a cell phone. Don’t go jogging at night. Lock all the windows when I sleep, even on hot summer nights. Be careful not to drink too much. Don’t put my drink down and come back to it; make sure I see it being poured. Own a big dog. Carry Mace or pepper spray. Have an unlisted phone number. Have a man’s voice on my answering machine. Park in well-lit areas. Don’t use parking garages. Don’t get on elevators with only one man, or with a group of men. Vary my route home from work. Watch what I wear. Don’t use highway rest areas. Use a home alarm system. Don’t wear headphones when jogging. Avoid forests or wooded areas, even in the daytime. Don’t take a first-floor apartment. Go out in groups. Own a firearm. Meet men on first dates in public places. Make sure to have a car or cab fare. Don’t make eye contact with men on the street. Make assertive eye contact with men on the street.”

― Jackson Katz

I feel exhausted just reading that list. Seriously, it’s long and doing those things all the time is exhausting.

For me, I am married to the most wonderful man. He however, is in the army so I am home alone in a city where I don’t know anyone quite often. I love to run, it’s how I deal with my anxiety, frustration, loneliness and night terrors. However, it really is considered unsafe to run at night because I’m female. I do go running at night but I always have a keychain alarm attached to me. I always have my phone with me. I just bought a new puppy so that I will be able to have a dog with me When is the last time you heard a man talk about going running and get extra items to keep himself safe? I’m not trying to say that I hate men or I don’t think it’s fair. I’m trying to say it’s not something they can ever really understand. The reality is that for every women who has NOT been sexually abused there are THREE who have. I don’t know about you, but it is absolutely appalling that, that is a statistic.

If you have never experienced sexual assault in your life you are truly blessed because I wouldn’t wish it up the person I hate most in the world.

I was raped by a boy I was seeing. I remember after the ordeal I confided in someone I thought could help me. They told me that if I didn’t want sexual advances I shouldn’t have been where I was, doing what I was doing, or wearing what I was wearing (Which by the way was a v-neck t-shirt and jeans). They told me that if I hadn’t worn a shirt that showed a little cleavage and if I hadn’t been at the party I was at, it would have never happened. This person also informed me that I was making poor decisions that would later impact my life. Then, that if I wanted to a better life I needed to safer, because clearly I was with the wrong people if I allowed someone to rape me.

In case you’re wondering, yes I was told, by the person who I thought would help me that I ALLOWED someone to rape me.

As such I never told this story to another person until much much later in life.

How are you supposed to love your body, when it has been treated it as an item for pleasure?

How are you supposed to love yourself as a person, when you have been treated like trash?

How are supposed to sleep at night, when you wake up in a cold sweat reliving every single detail?

How are you supposed to feel safe?

How are you supposed to find peace?

These are the just a few questions that come to mind, there are hundreds of more. When you are sexually abused things are taken away from you that never should be. When someone puts their hands on you in a way that is unwelcome it is the most degrading feeling in the world. It doesn’t matter what the circumstances are, you are NEVER responsible for sexual abuse. The person who abused you is solely responsible for their actions.

In case you didn’t catch that or glossed over it,  I’ll say it again with more emphasis.

THE PERSON WHO ABUSED YOU IS SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS.

Every woman knows this, and every human as well. Yet, we are constantly being told things like “if you hadn’t been there”, “if you hadn’t been drinking”, “if you hadn’t worn that dress, shirt, shorts ext.”, “if you hadn’t been walking alone”, “if you hadn’t been out running”, “if you hadn’t (fill in whatever absurd victim blaming item you have ever heard or been told.)” It is repulsive that we would dare blame someone for abuse. It doesn’t matter what she did, no woman wants to be sexually assaulted. It’s not a special club we want to be a part of.

Women do not go out with the intent of

“I hope that man touches my boob when I don’t want him to”

or

“I hope that when I get a little drunk some guy is going to take advantage of my dropped guard to use his physical strength to rape me”

or

“I have to walk home and I don’t have anyone to walk with me, I hope on the way there I get accosted by someone with the intent of assaulting me”

No one asks to be raped. Period.

Most of my life has revolved around this experience, how I can prevent another event like this happening. How can I get a better night sleep. How can I make others understand that stories like mine are everywhere.

A friend of mine who is a strong advocate for women recently posted this on his social media,

“I’ve been thinking about and talking about sexual assault for the last week and I’m friggin’ exhausted by it. Women spend their whole damned lives dealing with this. Worrying about it. Strategizing to avoid it. Consoling friends who experienced it. Experiencing it themselves. Deciding whether or not to disclose that they experienced it. Dealing with the fallout from disclosing it. Dealing with the repression from not disclosing it. Holy shit I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

As a man living through the #MeToo era and watching powerful men have to deal with the consequences of their past bad behavior, my life has gotten more stressful. Did I ever say or do anything that would make a woman feel uncomfortable or harassed? Did my confidence ever seem like aggression? Am I offering enough support to women who deal with their own sexual harassment and assault? Watching our society finally start to take sexual assault seriously ought to be uncomfortable for all men, as even the best of us have been and will continue to be clueless about how our actions are perceived or about how best to respond to the women in our lives.

But you know what’s a hell of a lot more uncomfortable? Being a woman and having to actually live with the harassment and assault, or having to deal with the fear that, if it hasn’t happened yet, it damned sure will. Every woman I know is scared to walk through a parking garage by themselves, run on trails by themselves, or even walk through a crowd. And if you think the women in your life don’t feel that way, you’re wrong.

So I don’t want to hear dudes complaining that they’re worried or scared. The absolute least that we can do is watch our behavior, ask ourselves tough questions about how our actions might be perceived, ask the women in our lives how we can support and believe them, and try our damnedest to live in a way that no stories can ever be told about us. And if and when we screw up and make someone uncomfortable or scared, and someone calls us on it, we have to listen to them, apologize, and change our behavior. Given what women deal with on a daily basis, that’s not asking much.”

– Austin Baird

I believe that there is power in sharing our stories, in advocating for ourselves and helping others understand why we are frightened. We should lead the discussions, we should tell the stories because they are our stories and our stories alone to be told. My hope is that through my artwork I get to tell just a few of these stories. That with each brush stroke I am able to express a feeling of beautify and unity. That with every piece I paint women can feel empowered and confident with the bright colors they are painted in. We are all stunning and have beautiful lines and curves that are completely outstanding and beautiful compared to the harshness of the world around us.

You are beautiful, no matter what this world has thrown at you and I hope that you know the world needs you.

The post Empowering Women Through Art – Guest Post appeared first on Live Fiercely.

from Empowering Women Through Art – Guest Post

[slytherin-fanfictalk]

June Slytherin New Stories and Chapter Updates

As always, the Snakes have been mad busy writing. Here is the first round of June New Stories and Chapter Updates!

New Stories:

Title: The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) Penname: starbuck Link(s): The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) [M] Fandom(s): Harry Potter Main Characters: original female character, James Sirius Potter (and the rest of the next gen kids) Main Pairing(s): James Sirius Potter/OC Genre(s): Drama, Romance Summary: 

"Have no fear, Quinn Jones."

Apparently, it is a truth universally acknowledged that I, Quinn Jones, a full-fledged Gryffindor, am actually afraid of three little words.

What a load of nonsense.

Title: Limerence Penname: ssslytherinnn Link(s): HPFT (M) Fandom(s): Harry Potter Main Characters: Dominique Weasley, Scorpius Malfoy, Draco Malfoy, OC's Main Pairing(s): Dominique/Scorpius Genre(s): Angst, Romance, Mystery Summary: 

Dominique Weasley had always seen herself as that meek girl with ink on her fingers and a nervous heart. The girl who faded into the background. The one you did not think twice of. To her that was never going to change. Until one day an opportunity arose that she could not pass up... a chance to study under one of the greatest living artists in the Wizarding world. Soon she would find that she was a lot stronger than she thought.

Title: We, Lawbreaking Citizens Penname: Rumpelstiltskin Link(s): +HPFF [Mature] Fandom(s): Original Fiction Main Character(s): Original Characters [Cyril Bernard and Mark Van] Main Pairing(s): Unlisted Pairings [Cyril/Mark] Genre(s): Action/Adventure, Crime/Mystery, Dark/Horror, Fluff, Romance Summary:

The War revealed many truths about humankind...the most important of those truths is that all humans are innately inclined to violence and chaos. We are hosts to an entire horde of plaguing ailments like jealousy and greed and we lack the physical and emotional capabilities to cope with such diseases. That is how the War started. That is how the world ended. That is why there is a grand nothingness on the Outside, beyond the walls of the Sovereignty.

My name is Cyril Bernard and I play a highly important role in maintaining the peace and overall wellbeing of our wonderfully prospering society (despite what that Mark Van said because what does that peacebreaker know anyway).

Written for scooterbug8515's “Anything But Harry Challenge” and just.a.willow.tree's “Love, _____. Challenge”

Chapter Updates:

Story Title: That's All Pen Name(s):  beyond the rain Fandom: Harry Potter Link(s) and Rating: HPFT(M) Site(s) Posted On: HPFT New Chapter Number: two Summary:

“Don’t.” A voice croaked, rough and unsteady.

Remus had grabbed at her wrist, his grip softer than his voice.

The drugs were wearing off, or they’d never worked in the first place. His eyes began to adjust, and Clara saw the moment he recognised her.

Story Title: Lightning Love Pen Name(s): toomanycurls Fandom: Harry Potter Link(s) and Rating: Here M Site(s) Posted On: HPFT New Chapter Number:  8: Release  Summary:

Love strikes as fast as lightning and burns as slow as the sun for some. With others it takes many attempts to combust and backfires with an unpleasant bang. For some the spark never comes at all.

What will be the love story of Lily and Lysander?

Their romance seems like a sure thing until you throw into the mix a houseful of young adults at Burrow plus the large Potter-Weasley family and anything could happen.

[delightfulnerdinfluencer-blog]

Misunderstanding Chapter 2 A Mystic Messenger Fanfic

Neither of the Choi twins slept that night. They also did not get much work done. Sure, later they would pay for it, but at this moment it did not matter. Their minds were racing over the different outcomes. If they did contact the man that was now calling himself their father. What would happen if they did not call him back? Would he hunt them down? If they did call him? Was it worth putting Yeoja and the unborn children at risk? Did he already know about them? What about their own safety? Was he reaching out to them to finish the job that he could not complete when they were children? Not even the mind-numbing grind of LOLOL raids helped them relax. Saeran had left in the middle of the night and came back with a few packs of cigarettes, and for the first time in about a year began to smoke. The only condition was that he wouldn’t smoke near Yeoja, which he was more than fine with.

Different outcomes played in their minds. The next one worse than the one before. Very little was said that night. The sound of tapping keyboards and clicking mice filled the computer room and the faint notes of music that was blaring through headphones. They were both dancing on the razor’s edge of having a mental break down. Yeoja knew something was wrong, with the way they were acting she figured it had to do with their work. But they had never been this stressed before.

Was it worth the risk to call? What did he really want after more than 20 years? What could he have to say if they did call and talk to him? Their mother was dead and they lived very quiet lives. The Choi twins were of no threat to the man.

Saeyong looked down at his phone and noticed it was time for Yeoja to get up and ready to go to school. Should he force her to stay home today? How would he? Getting up from his chair and made his way into their bedroom.

She was beautiful. Once Saeyong had read that some men became less attracted to their mates when they became pregnant. This was far from the case, he felt more now than before. There was a glow about her. Something that pulled him in even more. Something that he could not place but was happy it was there. He propped himself against the doorway as she tugged her sleeping shirt off. Looking around the racecar red room filled with life whereas before it felt empty. Pictures hung on the walls of the other RFA members and their life together. The group shot from the engagement party being the largest. The bed where they slept together sat in the middle under a shelf of model cars. A stack of textbooks beside the bed with filled notebooks. Dirty clothes piled up with old chip bags and empty cans. This was their room. This was what he wanted for as long as he could remember but believed he was too dangerous. There it was again dangerous. He was once again dangerous. A danger to his fiancée and children. Him and his brother were a danger to everyone around them. A hum pulled him back to the moment and felt the worry and stress melt away at that moment.

For the first time that night he felt at peace. Yeoja was humming a tune he had heard before but could not place. A magic spell that she unknowingly cast to wash his worries away. Just before she pulled on her shirt he came up behind her and held her close to him. His hands traveled to her stomach. Saeyong buried his face in her shoulder. Taking slow deep breaths, inhaling her freshly showered scent. Fingers played with the little bulged below her navel. It was soft and just below the surface, it was starting to get hard.

Yeoja’s fingers played with his own, “I was thinking. We should get a bigger car or at least look into one.”

Saeyong smiled as he interlaced his fingers with hers, “A minivan?”

“I am not driving a spaceship.” She crinkled her nose at the idea.

“I 10 out of 10 would!” Saeyong chirped as he spun around to face her. The smile on his face was that of the Cheshire cat.

“You would pilot the USS Soccer mom?” She asked with a smile. “I was thinking just a bigger car. My car is barely big enough for Saeran to sit in the back. You would have to prove to me two car seats would fit in any of your cars.”

“Can it be gray with warp nacelles?” The smile spanned his face. She had lost him.

“How many kids do you think we are having?” Fair enough question. They had never talked about children or starting a family.

“20” was all he said. The look on his face told her he was dead serious. Yeoja placed her face in her hands and shook her head. This was the man she loved.  

“No,.” She said from her hands. “I got to get ready.”

She leaned in and kissed him. A smirk crossed his lips as he went in for another kiss. This time he lightly nipped at her lip causing her to moan. He kissed down her neck to her collarbone before she caught him in her hands. She brought his head to meet hers in another kiss. Yeoja broke the kiss and let his face go free.

“No, maybe tonight.” Reaching for her top. Saeyong got down on his knees and kissed her stomach. This caused her to stop again to watch him. He was gentle as he brushed his hand over the little bump. Wrapping his arms around her hips and pulled her closer to him; resting his face on her stomach. Yeoja combed her fingers through his fiery mop top. His hair was not as soft as it appeared; it was a bit coarse to the touch. She never liked rushing these moments and loved every bit of it. “I have to get dressed and go, my love. I will be back tonight.”

He nodded, brushing the side of his face against her. Just before releasing her, he kissed her stomach once more. Yeoja got dressed and shrugging on her bookbag, Yeoja kissed him again. “See you tonight, my love.”

Saeyong watched her head out the door. He repeated in his head that everything was going to be okay. That nothing was going to happen. She was going to return to him tonight.

After he heard the garage open and close, Saeyong went back into the living room. Saeran was out on the sofa with a lit cigarette between his lips. The younger Choi twin was in the middle of another raid. Saeyong watched over his twin’s shoulder. They stayed like this for a long moment, neither of them speaking.

Saeran was dancing on the same thin wire as his brother. Thankfully, his medication helped him with a pleasant numb feeling. What did break through was somewhat quelled by the current chain smoking. There was still the fear of the unknown. The memories of his childhood that flooded through his body making old scars ache as if they were fresh. Some of them felt as if they were bleeding again. The scars on his ankles from years of being tied up burned with the fires of hell and made it hard to walk. Flashes of being tied up in the kitchen filled his mind. The yelling and sounds of thing breaking around him filled his ears. He felt like that same scared child that was his mother’s favorite punching bag.

“What do you want to do about hi,” Saeran asked after his third or fourth cigarette. Saeyong shrugged.

“Maybe, we should just to see what he wants.” Saeyong threw it out there. It had come out before his mind could process the thought thoroughly. Was that the safest option for them to go with? His body screamed a resounding ‘no’ but his mouth would not listen.

Saeran returned to gaming, headphones on, music streaming out of them. They both had to think about that option. The man claiming now to be their father was the most powerful man in Korea. Was it worth the risk reaching out to him.

The living room was once again filled with the sound of clicking and keys tapping as the both processed what could go wrong. Nothing good could come of this. Still, they both wanted answers. Answers to why their life was a living hell. Why were they damned at birth to know only fear? This man offered it to them. It was tempting fruit that was being dangled in front of the men.

Looking around the living room to try and calm himself. Focusing on anything that would hold his attention. Saeran once said that the house was made to look like fun, but in truth felt lonely. A pretty wrapped box with nothing inside. That was the truth at the time. Saeyong had a character to play, and that character was happy and unpredictable. Now while the walls remained the same. Toy cars on shelves that lined one wall, stacks of papers with codes on them, the pyramid of PhD pepper cans that he was bent on completing, at once, it all seemed hollow. At the time, he was not promised tomorrow with his job. Waking up with the fear that if something went wrong he would meet the business end of a gun. To never be heard from again. His identity would have erased off the national registry as if he never existed and the world would continue without him. So he filled his life with stuff as if to prove he was alive.

Now everything was filled with warmth. He had his family, not only the RFA members but Saeran and Yeoja, and in that was his strength and warmth. Something that had been missing. He did not need to play something he was not anymore and there were people who loved him as he was.  

“See what he wants. Don’t like what he says then we change our numbers and leave it at that. No one can get into the bunker.” Saeran shrugged this time as he took a long drag off the cigarette. Waited a moment and exhaled then stubbed it out in a coffee mug. “I have a VoIP that is untraceable. Nothing of mine has this address on it so even if we reach out to him he won’t be able to find us.”

“Your marriage application?” Saeran finally turned to his brother. “My medical stuff?”

“It has a P.O box on it, everything gets sent to it.” Saeyong was twisting his ring again. He was weighing the risk this could be to his family. He wasn’t just thinking about Yeoja and his children but Saeran as well. Was Saeran healthy enough to handle this? It had not been that long since he had gotten on the new medication. Could he handle going there and talking to the man? It would not be that hard to have a cell phone number that was unlisted. That was a call to the phone company. It was a completely different matter entirely to repair a broken human. One that now was functioning as an adult should. Would Saeyong risk his brother’s mental health? Could he risk it? Was it worth the risk?

“If we go the untraceable route then we should be okay.” Saeyong nodded to his brother as he spoke. Saeyong was already forming a plan. He would have to handle this like he was on a mission. While most of his work kept him at home. There were a few times where he had to go out in the field. He had contacted people he had been following before. That was how he was going to go about this. Just like another mission. Nothing more.

Saeyong felt himself slip into the role he once played. The role of the secret agent. He would have to be the strong one and not risk anyone close to him. The agent was cold. The agent’s voice was deeper than Saeyong’s. The agent could be the strong one for his family and protect the ones he loved.

They moved into the computer room. Saeran lit up another cigarette while Saeyong opened the programs he needed. They both felt like they were going to have a panic attack as Saeyong put in the numbers into the computer and plugged in his headphones. Saeran followed suit, the mic on his headphones turned off. Taking a long deep breath to steady himself Saeyong hit call.

It rang

And rang

On the third time, it picked up.

“Hello?” A man asked. They knew the voice on the other line. Saeran held his brother’s hand. Saeyong took another deep breath.

“Why did you contact us?” His voice was low and deeper than his normal voice. He was in secret agent mode. He was agent 707.

“Oh! I am so happy that you called!” He sounded happy. The emotion confused the twins making them look at each other. This was not what they were expecting. “Which one did I reach? Saeran? Saeyong?”

“You may call me Choi. It does not matter which twin is speaking to you.” Saeyong’s eye narrowed as a blip came on screen. The man he was talking to was in his office nowhere near them.

“That’s fine Choi. I am happy I got to speak to you.” The older man coughed, “The reason I called you both was because I wanted to explain my side of the story and get to know my sons.”

The Choi twins wanted to laugh, “After over 20 years?” Was all Saeyong could say and remain in character.

“Ah, yes, I’m sorry. I tried to reach out to you two as children but your mother never let me see you. When I heard that she had died I tried again, but I could not find either of you.” The man’s voice lowered and sounded remorseful. Saeyong could not be swayed, the man he was talking to was a lifelong politician, he was a better actor than Zen would ever be.

“What do you want?” Saeyong asked sharply.

“All I want is to see my sons and explain to you my side of the story. I will answer any and every question you have for me.” Politicians lie, Saeyong repeated in his head as the man spoke. “That is all.”

Saeyong thought a moment and looked over to Saeran. He was holding together better than Saeyong would have thought. Could he risk this. Was it worth it. They did want answers, but at what cost. Feeling the weight of his other half’s stare Saeran nodded. This was something they needed to find out.

“I have a few conditions if we are to meet.” Saeyong began to twist his ring again. “If we agree to this. Only one of us will meet with you. If one of us meets with you and does not like what is going on then, the twin as every right to leave. In the conditions, you will not look further into us than you already have. You will not contact us. You will not contact anyone we know. If you do so then we will disappear again. We are not going to threaten your political career. We just want to live peacefully as we have been.”

“That is more than fine!” He sounded happy again, excited even. The emotions in this man’s voice was beginning to confuse the twins. Wasn’t this the man who threaten to kill them as children. With a few strokes of the keyboard, the security camera in the prime minister’s office came on screen. The man had his head in his hands. “Choi I will be free around noon today. Can you come by then?”

Saeyong zoomed in on his face. It wasn’t all that clear but it looked as if he was crying. Saeran took command of the cameras and began to flick around the building. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. People going about their day doing office things.

“One of us will be there.” Saeyong was mapping out the building as his brother went through all the security cameras in the building.

“Thank you.” Saeyong hung up as the man spoke and exhaled.

His mind was in overdrive in secret agent mode. He would have to go in not looking like himself. First, he would have to wear his contacts since his glasses were too noticeable. He had wished that Yeoja left her car with him. It was an older model and less likely to get noticed. He still had a dummy license plate that he could switch out with one of his cars. He would have to park down the street from the building and walk up to it. Maybe walk around it a few times before entering. With Saeran going through the CCTV feeds he understood the layout of the building. His phone he would leave in his car turned off. No, he might need the something on it. He had written a few programs that he could use on his phone in a tight situation. More importantly, if something happened to Yeoja, he would need to know. Saeran would stay behind watching the security feeds. Alerting him if anything came up. He could not mess this up. Yeoja, Saeran, and his children needed to remain safe.    

In circling the building, he would have to look like a normal college student. Someone that the guards on the outside would not notice. Saeyong knew that he would not be able to bring his gun in, but he had a pin knife that was hidden as a lighter. From the feed from the front where people check in the metal detector looked very relaxed. It looked like a normal lighter from the a convince store. So, if they waved their wands over it would just pick up the metal on the outside. He could use the empty pack of cigarettes that Saeran had and take a few from the new pack. He had spent the entire night in the same room as him as he smoked. He knew he smelled like cigarette smoke. Saeyong knew that he had to leave the clothes he was going to wear in the computer room while he showered. His normal street clothes would work but he would have to use a different hoodie. Nothing that made him stand out. Maybe wear a hat to cover his red hair while he scoped the place out.  

Glancing up at the time he had about two hours before the meeting. Saeran grabbed the pack of cigarettes and walked out of the computer room. Saeyong just watched as his brother went outside. He needed time to himself and Saeyong was more than happy to give it to him.

The outside world was cold and covered in a blanket of white. Freshly fallen snow covered the land. The porch under bare feet creaked as the younger twin stepped out. Relishing in the brisk frozen air as he lit another cigarette. Taking a deep drag, Saeran looked at the sky. Dark clouds hung low, threatening the more snow to come. On the exhale his mind thought on the interaction that had just taken place. While the world outside of the gate buzzed with life. Saeyong had said that the man would meet with one of the twins. Saeran knew he was not healthy enough to go, but with the way, the older twin spoke it was going to be him. Saeran would be left at the house. Surely, the elder was already planning how he would go in. Leaving the younger to man the cameras in case something happened.

The promise of knowledge was a tempting fruit. One that even he wanted, even if it might be all lies.

A shaky hand brought up the cigarette again as the earth underfoot began to move. The nicotine that was flowing through his system was beginning to make him light-headed. A wonderful feeling to the man, it was a rush of dizzying high. Something his new medication could not give him. Nearly dulling his senses and feeling towards everything and leaving him in the almost constant state of annoyed. Shifting again to steady himself he took another hit. His entire body shook, not from the cold, but from adrenaline. Maybe from being scared or from something completely different; either way, it was adding to the high he was currently feeling.

The porch creaked again as the wind cut through him. Causing the powdery flakes to kick up in a mini tornado in the yard. The gate around the building stopped it from going any further. Turning his mint green eyes back to the sky Saeran watched as the clouds raced across the sky. Letting his mind clear for a moment. With the wind once more moving across the earth he took a deep breath slowly and exhaled even slower. In that moment, he felt free. Years of abuse and neglect lifted off his shoulders. The pain of old scars faded. No longer feeling bound by the ankles. The cold of the winter’s winds sent the feeling he had across the land. He was not the scared little child anymore, he was free. The knowledge that he had to calm down or he would be of no use to his brother. If he was willing to take the risk, then so was he.

Yet, his mind kept wondering to one person, Yeoja. Saeran had no romantic feeling towards the woman. His feeling towards her was something akin a to a friend. The first one he had made after leaving mint eye. Even after tricking her and wanting to use her to bring down the RFA, she was good to him. She was kind to him and did not judge, yet challenged him in all the good ways. She helped him get the therapist he currently had. Even got in contact with a case manager that was going to help him with integrating back into society. Even with the promise, due to her ethics, she would never treat him like a client; he still felt comfortable to talk to her about his problems. Explaining to him things that the doctor had told him and he did not understand. He could not lose her, she was important to him. Saeran could not mess up helping Saeyong.

A small smile cracked across his face as he remembered when Saeyong had told him that Yeoja was pregnant. He had threatened his brother that if he treated those children like their mother treated them. Then he would kill Saeyong and raise the twins as his own. In a way, they were his own. They would be no different to his own children. Saeran knew he might never be mentally healthy enough to have his own. So, Saeyong’s children were his as well and always would be. Exhaling and watching as his breath mingled in the sky. The long-forgotten cigarette burned at his fingers in a good way. Proving that he at that moment was alive. Flicking it over the edge into the untouched snow and watched it sink into it.

Once inside the warmth of the computer room, Saeran got to work. Sending the security camera feeds to his computer and setting up the programs that he would need. Taking control of the badge in only doors. Testing it out on a door with no one around, the door made a light jerk to notify that it was unlocked. Then he set to covering his tracks, it had to look like he was a ghost in the system. Something that would just annoy whoever was watching the alarms and not draws attention. Long fingers set to work on finding the layout and blueprints to send it to Saeyong’s phone. Heavy American rock echoed off the walls with the tapping of keys it became its own kind of music. Unknown was ready for this mission.

The sound of metal settling on his desk beside him made the younger twin look. It was Saeyong’s ring, looking up it was a silent plea to the younger twin.

‘If anything happens to take care of them.’

After explaining what the younger twin would be doing, Saeyong set out.

Pray for peace but be ready for war.

[robertmcangusgroup]

The Daily Thistle

The Daily Thistle

Friday 20th January 2017

"Madainn Mhath” …Fellow Scot, I hope the day brings joy to you… Well today is the day that Donald Trump becomes the President of the United States all I hope is that the “Checks and Balances” placed by the US Congress Senate are sufficient enough .. I wish him well, his success is the success for everyman .. and let’s leave it at that… Very cold this morning with snow on the mountains that are behind Estepona and I understand that Rhonda the famous Roman town up in the mountains has an Orange advisory on the road up there.. due to ice on the twisting road that takes you from the coast to the town.. OK Bella let’s head for home the coffee is even more attractive this morning…

AND I ALWAYS THOUGHT Children were delivered by the stork… A CAMPAIGN group is launching its own “baby boxes” for Highland mothers who are facing a 100-mile trip to hospital to give birth. The kits, dubbed the 100 Mile Helper, are being put together by a group which was formed to fight against local hospital cuts. The Caithness Health Action Team is to produce the boxes following reports last week that only 20 per cent of expectant mothers were able to give birth at Caithness General Hospital. The figure from the Wick hospital represented a huge drop from previous years, when about two-thirds of mothers from the area had their babies delivered locally. More expectant mothers are now having to make the 100-mile journey to the maternity ward at Raigmore Hospital in Inverness. Some mothers have even been faced with a four-hour transfer to Elgin while they were in labour. Carrying echoes of the Scottish Government’s recently-launched baby box scheme, the helper kits aim to assist expectant mothers from Caithness who have to travel elsewhere to give birth. There will be two types: one box will include a basic first aid kit, maps, towels, blankets, pillows, wet wipes, steriliser gel, bottled water, notebooks and pens and overnight essentials. The other box is aimed at mothers who have to make the journey at short notice, and will include nappies, wipes, blanket, hygiene products for mothers and heat packs.

WOMEN WHO gain weight in pregnancy do not put their children at increased risk of early death in adulthood, a new study suggests. Research looking at the long-term effects of piling on the pounds during pregnancy found that a woman’s rate of weight gain was not associated with her offspring’s risk of death or heart problems when an adult. This study was able to show that adult health and lifestyle factors – and not ¬early-life risk factors – played the most important role. The University of Aberdeen study found only extreme weight gain was associated with increased risk of cerebro-vascular events in the mother’s offspring. In these cases, adult health and lifestyle factors could mitigate the risk. Previous research has indicated that children born to mothers who were obese or overweight in pregnancy were at greater risk of death or developing heart-related health problems. However, the University of Aberdeen team said that until now no study has had adequate follow-up time to assess the effects of weight gain in pregnancy in adult offspring. The latest study used data from the Aberdeen Children of the 1950s Birth Cohort to follow up 3,781 people whose mothers’ weight gain during pregnancy was recorded.

POLICE HUNT for ‘pram-pushing hitman’ in Penilee shooting…Police investigating a gangland shooting outside a Glasgow school are appealing for information after footage of the suspected hitman surfaced. Ross Monaghan was shot outside St George’s Primary in the south-west of the city shortly before classes were due to begin on Monday morning. The 35-year-old, a convicted drug dealer, had dropped his own child off at the school before he was attacked outside the building in the Penilee estate. The assailant, who remains at large, pulled a gun from an empty buggy before shooting Monaghan in the back from close range. No one else was injured and the victim was later discharged from hospital. It later emerged that a parent had filmed the hitman - whose face was obscured by a scarf and woollen hat - moments before the attack as they were concerned about his suspicious behaviour. “We saw this guy with an empty pram acting weird on Friday morning,” the witness told The Scottish Sun. “I was in my car at school when I saw him again on Monday morning and started filming him - I thought he was there to steal a child. “After taking a few photos, I started to film him - next thing I knew he had pulled a gun out of the buggy and was firing it. “I thought he was going to kill everyone - all I could hear was screaming. It was madness a stray bullet would have killed a child.” Police Scotland said they were still looking for both the pram and the weapon. The incident is being treated as attempted murder. Monaghan was cleared of killing gangster Kevin ‘Gerbil’ Carroll, an enforcer for the Daniel crime family, in 2012 in a drive-by shooting.

LEITH IN EDINBURGH and Finnieston and the West End in Glasgow have been named the second, sixth and fifteenth as the hippest areas in the UK to hang out. Among the locations which Leith has beaten are three London trendy hotspots and the Baltic Triangle in Liverpool. The neighbourhoods in Edinburgh and Glasgow feature in TravelSupermarket’s UK Hip Hang-out Neighbourhood Index. The Index ranks the hippest areas in the UK and Europe to explore. Taking first place on the UK list is Manchester’s Ancoats district. Top of the European Index was Kreuzberg in Berlin, followed by Riga, Latvia in second, just pipping Ancoats into third place. Emma Coulthurst from TravelSupermarket says the aim of the Index is to inspire city breakers with ideas for new places to discover; “The Index proves that Scotland is the place to be and it will hopefully encourage new and return visitors to explore the country’s hippest hang-outs”. She continues: “We scoured the UK to find the most current, independent-feeling neighbourhoods. The destinations on the list are exciting areas, unspoiled by commercialism, where locals love to hang out. They offer an eclectic range of food and entertainment away from the tourist throngs”. “You’ll be pleased to know that we didn’t base the ranking on beard-to-face and pints of craft beer ratios! Instead, we looked at everything from independent coffee shops and vintage fashion outposts to the local creative culture – the things that set a hip destination apart from the rest of the pack”. “Anywhere with ‘Peak Hipster’ status, such as London’s Shoreditch, didn’t make the cut – places like this are now overrun by chains. Instead, we wanted to find those areas where locals love to hang out due to the area’s independent creative spirit. And I absolutely promise you won’t have to grow a moustache to go to any of them!”

IT IS ONE OF THE LAST visual reminders of Glasgow’s ancient past and a time when the High Street was the bustling heart of the city. Now fresh plans have been unveiled to demolish the Old College Bar, thought to be Glasgow’s oldest pub, and replace it with student accommodation. The unlisted building, parts of which are said to date to the 16th century, was previously threatened with demolition in 2013. The pub’s name refers to the University of Glasgow, which was based around the High Street from its foundation in 1451 until it moved to its present site at Gilmorehill in 1870. The departure of the university from the High Street led to the demolition of its 17th century campus to make way for a railway goods yard, a decision described at the time as “cultural vandalism”. By the late Victorian era the commercial hub of Glasgow had moved west to Buchanan Street and Sauchiehall Street, with the area around High Street and Glasgow Cross entering a long decline. The University of Strathclyde has in recent years began an expansion programme in the area which has led to many long-standing gap sites being built over. Private developers now view High Street as a prime location for student lets.

AND FINALLY… A MAJOR milestone in salmon conservation has been reavealed as the fishing season on the River Tay opened today. The opening at Meikleour on the River Tay has been boosted by confirmation that the “dry” River Garry tributary will flow again after over 60 years. Spawning salmon will have access following a landmark agreement. A section of one of the Tay’s most important tributaries is soon to have consistent flows restored after decades of very extensive water abstraction.Ten miles of the River Garry - much of it clearly visible from the A9 - which has been essentially dry since the mid 1950s, will run again, promising major benefits for adult salmon spawning and juvenile production. The formal announcement was made at the Tay District Salmon Fisheries Board’s (TDSFB) annual ceremony to celebrate the opening of the River Tay salmon fishing season. SSE said engineering work will commence in a few weeks time to restore flows to the River Garry, some 15 miles north of Blair Atholl in Highland Perthshire. An initial breach has already been made at the Struan Weir to begin this process.

On that note I will say that I hope you have enjoyed the news from Scotland today,

Our look at Scotland today is by Chris Oliver who captured this peaceful scene while kayaking back from Caiplie to Cellardyke with Colin Wycherley.

A Sincere Thank You for your company and Thank You for your likes and comments I love them and always try to reply, so please keep them coming, it's always good fun, As is my custom, I will go and get myself another mug of "Colombian" Coffee and wish you a safe Friday 20th January 2017 from my home on the southern coast of Spain, where the blue waters of the Alboran Sea washes the coast of Africa and Europe and the smell of the night blooming jasmine and Honeysuckle fills the air…and a crazy old guy and his dog Bella go out for a walk at 4:00am…on the streets of Estepona…

All good stuff....But remember it’s a dangerous world we live in ….. Be safe out there…

Robert McAngus