#responsible for everything shitty happening but they feel the guilt so much you can't hate them
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tenrose · 1 year ago
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They really wrote Walter very well, cause basically everything that's happening is because of him but you can't help but feel sorry for him.
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jedi-enthusiast · 1 year ago
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Did you ever see that trailer for that SWTOR expansion Legacy of the Sith? It was one of the most anti-Jedi things I have ever seen in my life and painted them as being no better than then Sith, and that made me so mad!
No, I haven't seen it and---at this point---I'm going with the "canon is what I decide, fuck you Disney" way of consuming any new Star Wars media.
George Lucas created Star Wars and the Jedi, and he was very fucking clear that the Jedi were the good guys---so I know that, above all else, I'm right when I say that the Jedi were good. I know that, whatever anyone else says, the Jedi were moral and good and they were doing their best in a shitty situation where they just could not win.
Which means that all of the other stuff that's coming out where people are leaning into the edgy "everyone's actually evil, and there's no good in the world, and good guys can never actually be good because who would actually ever be selfless and kind????" narrative that's, for some reason, gotten so popular nowadays---I'm either ignoring it or taking it with copious amounts of salt.
That Legacy of the Sith expansion? Ignoring it.
Acolyte? I might just watch it so I can hate on it, but honestly I'll probably just ignore it.
The Ahsoka show? I'll watch it, but my expectations are very low.
Etc. Etc.
People can say whatever they want about my doing this, but honestly---thanks to Disney handing over a vast amount of creative control to people who don't actually give a fuck about Star Wars and people like Filoni, who's now just pulling shit out of his ass to lift up his OCs--- with the newer stories and timelines and shit, you almost have to make up your own reasons for why things are happening/why certain characters are doing/saying things.
Take Bo-Katan for example and how the writers are portraying her in the Mandalorian.
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They're completely ignoring the fact that she was a member of Death Watch (a violent terrorist organization), that she had a hand in her sister's death (since she did help Maul alongside Visla, even though she was vocal about not wanting to/thinking it was a bad idea), or that she even fucking had a sister.
So now, since all of that is happening, you have to figure out for yourself why, in-universe, Bo-Katan is ignoring all of that---and that's obviously going to be colored by whether you like her or not.
Is she ignoring that she was a member of Death Watch because she thinks it doesn't matter/wasn't a big deal/wasn't bad? Or is she doing it because she can't face the guilt she feels over having been apart of it?
Is she ignoring that she had a hand in her sister's death because she doesn't really think she was responsible, since she vocally didn't support helping Maul? Or, again, is it out of guilt?
Is she not mentioning Satine because she wants to erase the fact that Mandalore was successfully peaceful for decades under Satine's rule until she [Bo-Katan] fucked it up and basically kicked off the whole "Mandalore basically dying/hanging on by a thread" thing, so she doesn't want anyone to know that? Or is it because she's still filled with so much grief and guilt that mentioning Satine is literally painful for her?
You have to make those assumptions and those decisions, because the writers just don't give a fuck anymore.
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So, with that in mind, everything that George Lucas didn't have a hand in, especially regarding the Jedi? I'm taking it as a suggestion, and a suggestion only.
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antisolararc · 8 months ago
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1, 6, 13, 31 for Vita ?
1. What’s the lie your character says most often?
That she is confident, in-control, and never all that scared, only inconvenienced. Well, she doesn't say that exactly, but it's always what her demeanor implies.
Vita would never, ever admit how insecure they are about their powers. Even though she uses her powers to, ah, "conduct business," this utilizes her ingenuity more than anything, and she is rather physically vulnerable. This terrifies her, but she hates to show weakness, so you'd never guess from the way she carries herself.
None of this is really a surprise, though. Almost all of Aloysius Caturnon's children have a some sort of complex surrounding their magic. If you know much about him, it's probably not hard to imagine why.
6. What’s their favorite [insert anything] that they’ve never recommended to anyone before?
She loves shitty pulp novels, mostly mysteries. I can't name a specific title, because I don't know what shitty pulp novels exist in this world. But I do know Vita would try to present herself as too intellectual for this type of media.
13. When do they fake a smile? How often?
Usually, Vita is straightforward about their displeasure to the point of just being rude, but they can pull a real smarmy grin when they're trying to sell their services to someone. It happened pretty often in Valonvyr but less so now.
31. When do they feel the most guilt? How do they respond to it?
They secretly feel unbearably guilty about everything that happened to Ivrel, even though none of it was directly their fault. Her default response to this is, unfortunately, avoidance and and anger. She's not really sure how to handle her feelings, and she hates that she's so uncertain about them! And she absolutely can't understand how Ivrel herself seems so casual about the terrible thing that happened to her.
Of course, Ivrel doesn't think it's Vita's fault - she hasn't considered such a thing at all. That's ridiculous, they weren't even there, and, besides, she'd figure they were too logical to develop such an irrational guilt. Ivrel is upset about the circumstances of their relationship and how it ended, though, which Vita struggles to pick up on. Can't really blame them, though, because their dynamic hasn't really changed that much after all.
Deep down, I'm sure Vita does actually feel guilt about her relationship with Ivrel, but it's easier to project it all onto the unrelated event that followed it. Vita is smart in a lot of ways, but they aren't exactly emotionally intelligent... Ivrel is the opposite.
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janshu · 3 years ago
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Inu!Bakugo...for @ultimate-astridwriting's Hybrid collab!
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Summary: My part of the hybrid collab. I had so much fun writing an angry Pomeranian Bakugo. 10/10 would do again. I'm not completely happy with it but who ever is? I'm still proud of myself!
Word count: 2.2k.
Warnings: Fem!Reader, Bakugo being an ass, sexual content, somnophilia, collars, choking, humping, creampie, name calling (bitch, slut, whore etc.), use of the word cunt.
You sigh as you rummage around in your pocket to produce the key to your home. After a long day's work all you want to do is get some dinner, take a bath and go to bed but none of those things would be possible would they?
No, not after the spur of the moment decision to adopt a hybrid of all things. The week earlier was one of torrential downpours and near freezing temperatures, the roads making a slushy substance of half-melted ice and salt to prevent the very thing it was being mixed in with. People stayed indoors the best they could when they weren't at work but life had to shit on you and make your car breakdown in the parking garage. Umbrella rested on your shoulder, rain boots on your feet with your spare in your bag and you trudged through cold, mushy hell back home. The streets were barren as a Walmart on a weekday at 4am, no life passing by you until you crossed an alley between two businesses. A pathetic whimper had caught your attention and your gaze drifted down to a soaked cardboard box. What was in that box you weren't sure if you should curse or love. A hybrid.
Narrow red eyes stared at you in suspicion, fangs bared at you but the creature didn't make any attempts to nip at your fingers when they neared to ruffle the spikey head of hair. The hybrid had leaned into your touch before recoiling away as if you had smacked him. The black and orange collar had seen better days, the charm that dangled on the hollow of his neck read "Dynamite" but he didn't give any indication that was his name when you repeated it outloud. He was barely dressed in anything, a thin t-shirt, shorts with ragged Converse that had more holes than Swiss cheese. Truthfully he looked a few days away from starvation and how could you keep that on your conscience if you left him there? After laying your warm coat over his shoulders you somehow, someway, managed to get him back to your place. Everything went downhill from there in the blink of an eye.
The weak puppy persona was gone the moment warm food settled in his belly and within the hour he acted as if you had crowned him king of the house. Beginning his rambles of curses, demands and biting at your fingers. The worst of it happened when you tried to take his collar off for a new one, one that wasn't frayed and barely hanging on. "Katsuki" as he spat out his name with enough venom to put a Black Mamba to shame had flipped over a coffee table, ripped up every couch cushion and went so far to chew on the linoleum on the kitchen floor.
No doubt you'd be greeted with the same sight as always. Messy, dirty, unknown stains everywhere and dishes still in the sink waiting to be moved to the washer. Maybe if he wasn't such a loud ass you could train him but your frazzled nerves were at their wits end. You didn't know what to do, you were about to throw in the towel and put him up for adoption. Yep, you were disappointed to be proven right. Katsuki reclining on the couch lengthwise, remote in his hand with the most bored expression on his face while idly flipping through channels.
"Fucking finally, you're home! I've been waitin' for fucking hours for your ass to get back! I'm hungry, get your shitty ass in the kitchen and make dinner." He barked. Barely giving you any time to hang up your coat and slip off your shoes before his orders began.
"Katsuki...I can't, not tonight." Could your voice portray anymore pleading? Apparently not because he didn't seem to notice, or care.
The fluffy ear at the top of his head only flicked in response, the top lip curling into his signature snarl. "Then what the fuck are you good for? Get your fucking ass in that god damn kitchen and fucking make dinner already."
All that you were good for? All that you were good for? How dare he! He's been freeloading off you for a week now without so much as a thanks for saving him from the streets, feeding him, clothing him, keeping him warm and dealing with his bullshit and this is how he repays you?
"I've fucking had it with you!" Your voice rose higher than you meant to but at this point you didn't care, a line had been crossed. "You fucking sit there and ruin my shit and yet I'm the useless one? I have half a mind to kick you out! You can make your own fucking dinner, I've had it! I'm done! I can't take this anymore!"
Despite not having any clunky shoes on your feet still managed to resonate in the small living room while you stormed past the couch. You had expected anything, anything at all. A slap, a punch, a groan, literally anything but you were met with only silence and that somehow pissed out off even more. How could silence be so infuriating?! You didn't even notice the terror that washed over his face as you screamed at him or the way his chest heaved with the sob or how he trembled underneath your wrathful gaze as you walked away. The bedroom door slamming made short work of that.
"Fuck I'm such an ass.." You mused to yourself already regretting blowing up at him but what would an apology do that wasn't already broken? So better yet why not send yourself to bed without dinner as some kind of punishment? He'd linger at the doorway to the kitchen, staring at you with those intense eyes if you made dinner anyways so why let him win? He could his own shit for fucks sake!
After a quick shower to dethaw your bones and warm up what was left of your dead soul the softness of your pajamas helped ease the guilt gnawing away like a puppy on its first bone. Laying in bed until sleep eventually overcame you and when he knew it was safe to slip in and sneak over towards your bedside.
Rustling was what woke you. The rustling of clothes and the jingle of something metallic in the darkness of the bedroom. Whatever grogginess you normally suffered when waking up was vanishing the more details were dissected and understood by your half-asleep brain, a process that took an embarrassingly long time. Clothes rustling, the bedsheets moving, heavy pants and something incredibly warm nudging up against the sensitive skin of your inner thighs. Naturally your brain assumed the worst and your eyelids flew open to show nothing; at first. As your eyes adjusted to the pitch black room they found the blazing stare of those vermillion eyes, the bared fangs that belonged to your hybrid.
What the hell was Katsuki doing on top of you?
Noticing that you were awake the snarl turned into a smirk as he huffed, his large chest expanding with each desperate pant. Why did your folds feel so good just as you were waking up?
"Feel that?" How could you not? The feel of a scorching cock bumping up your folds and sensitive clit, wet from the pre leaking from the tip. There was so much of it from what you could feel, too sticky to be your own. His hips had yet to cease moving, no word from your shocked form to still his rutting hips.
"W-what the hell are you doing?" Was the most logical question your brain could come up with in the moment.
"Humping...fucking dumbass." His warm breath created goosebumps on your cool skin, his head must've been so close to yours by the hair tickling your forehead. "Tryin'ta...help ya. Shitty woman.."
"Help? How the fuck is this helping?"
"You've been working so hard so I thought maybe...a good fuck would calm ya down, relax ya." Katsuki's voice was so desperate, so needy, the humping of his cock on your labia increasing.
He was trying to help? He was going to fuck the frustration out of you? Is that was he was offering? Having sex with a hybrid was common enough to not be considered taboo but you couldn't help but feel he was trying to worm his way into your good graces. Unless your words had struck some kind of cord with him. "Okay, alright, I'll let you help."
"Fuck yeah!"
With that the head of his cock nudged against your cunt, already spread and waiting for him. How long had he been doing this for? The burn of the stretch was delicious, he was just big enough to fill you up but not hurt. Settling right up to kiss the tip of your cervix when he bottomed out. His hands grip at your thigh and hip, pulling his back to slam his cock right back into you. Over and over, over and over, over and over. Practically using you as a fleshlight to get himself off but damn if it didn't feel good, him bouncing you on his cock so roughly each thrust was sending the headboard against the wall.
"Oh fuck...oh fuck, Katsuki!" Your hands pat around and eventually find his biceps and you cling on for dear life, your nails digging crescent shaped markings into his skin.
"Yeah, yeah...you like this form of stress relief, don'tcha you dirty slut?" Undoing the collar around his neck the frayed cloth of the strap is tied around your neck, the buckle clamping down tightly to constrict your airflow while two fingers slip under it to pull and tug. "You're my dirty fucking slut! Mine...mine...mine...mine, fucking mine!"
Your fingers trailed down the tiny amount of space between your bodies down to the precious, neglected nub between your legs. Barely able to wiggle your index and middle finger down there from the rabid fucking you were receiving to circle the bundle of nerves and send yourself over the edge. Each clap of your thighs smacking against each other forcing your hate for his behavior ebbing away. If he was going to act like this all the time how could you kick him out?
"F-fuck! Gonna cum...fucking cum..cum for me. Cum with me!" Katsuki snarled as the pressure around your throat increased. Your hand was smacked away from your clit and was replaced with the large pad of his thumb, frantic circles sending your body into a writhing mess of flails and kicks.
The orgasm that had been steadily building from your ministrations had been ripped away and replaced with one quickly approaching to push you over the edge. The white hot pleasure-coil that formed underneath your belly button snapped and all of it coursed through your system in one go. Paralyzing your body for a split second as you squirted all over the hybrids cock, his still rubbing hand sending the liquid everywhere. Coating his thighs, your thighs and the bed underneath you.
"Fucking fuck! Such a whore, such a dirty girl for me! Oh my fucking g-god!" One last slam of his hips and his own body stilled, burying his cock deep inside your cunt to shoot his cum deep in your womb. He stuttered before his body collapsed on top of you, suffocating you in his sweaty muscles.
Bathing in the afterglow, coming down from your high you could've sworn you heard something. Mumbling, soft mumbling too indistinct to understand. Katsuki's head laying on your shoulder, his nose brushing along your collarbone and was he laying kisses here and there? No, you must've been seeing things. Still buried to the hilt he turned his head to speak, his fluffy ears perked and his tail gently swishing behind him. The sudden light from your phone illuminated the room, casting light on Katsuki's face and the sight made your breath hitch in your throat. Clearly he had been crying. Tear stains streaked down his cheeks, brows knitted together and the same lost look he had plastered on his face appeared again.
"Please, please don't kick me out. I'll do anything, please...please don't abandon me. Not again." His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer as he hid his face in your neck. Voice breaking, shoulders trembling, the verge of crying all over again quickly approaching.
Your heart broke and you returned the favor by hugging him around the shoulders, a hand carding through his hair to soothe him. Had he been abandoned? Did his previous owners not like him? Was all his aggressiveness some kind of defense mechanism? Was he giving you a reason to kick him out to keep himself from experiencing that kind of pain again? Oh, poor baby. "Never again...just don't destroy things anymore, okay? Help me around the place a little more will ya?"
"Yes." Katsuki snuggled on top of you. Finally believing he had a real home with you, a place where he could belong. "....Master."
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angellesword · 3 years ago
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MAGIC SHOP | JJK (FINAL CHAPTER)
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Description: You and Jungkook were best friends who were in love with each other. What would happen when Soojin, your half sister who you’re trying to impress, told you she’s in love with Jungkook too?
Alternatively:
“Would you believe me if I said that I was scared of everything too?”
Pairing: Architect!Jungkook x Architect!Reader
Genre: childhood best friends to lovers, family drama, angst, fluff, idiots to lovers, pining, slice of life au.
Warnings: none except kissing (There’s so much reconciliation happening in this chapter, lol)
Chapter’s OST: Magic Shop by 방탄소년단 (See English lyrics here)
Word Count: 3.9k
Series: CHAPTER 14 | CHAPTER 01
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"I can't believe you got married," the smile you rendered to your brother was soft as you helped him fix his bow tie.
Taehyung hated bow ties, but he knew he had to endure wearing one today. It's his wedding day after all. Besides, ditching the said tie would definitely sadden his husband. It's something Taehyung couldn't afford to make the love of his life feel, mainly because Yoongi seemed very excited when he told Taehyung he designed their wedding outfits himself.
"I got married and I'm doing it all over again." Taehyung grinned back at you.
It's refreshing to see his boxy smile after many months of awkward eye contacts and tightlipped smiles.
Taehyung avoided you for a long time because he was embarrassed. He wasn't an idiot. He knew there's a part of you that blamed him for not being able to see your father for the last time. If he had only gone with you to Seoul, you'd probably be given a chance to say your goodbyes to Taemin, but alas, those days were over.
You just hoped your father was in a good place now. He deserved it even though he'd be shitty to you. You realized you didn't want to hold grudges any longer.
You hated the idea of spending your days filled with rage and pain. No. You didn't deserve it. They might not be worthy of your forgiveness, but you also didn't deserve to feel the heaviness in your chest just by thinking about them. Besides, those who hurt you and the people around you were already paying for their wrongdoings.
Namjoon and Hoseok often called to tell you what's happening in Seoul since you're already back here in New York. Apparently, there's already a verdict in Soojin's case. Your sister was deemed guilty for almost all criminal and civil cases she was facing. You also came to know that Sin-ae was pressed with charges for helping her daughter hide and destroy evidence in a crime. She wasn't incarcerated though. Sin-ae simply paid a fine of a few thousands of dollars.
Needless to say, her family's reputation was ruined. She sacrificed a lot of things just to maintain a good public image. She even went as far as tolerating you instead of going to court to sue her husband and your mother for concubinage. But in the end, she still lost.
She couldn't face the public with pride and joy anymore. Hoseok was the one who told you about this heartbreaking news. Namjoon didn't have the courage to do it. Sure, he helped your eldest brother, however it didn't mean he's guilt-free. There were times when he felt like he betrayed his own family, mainly because Sin-ae expressed her hatred towards him.
You suspected that the only reason why Namjoon called you and Taehyung was because he was afraid he's losing his mind. You and Taehyung were his only reminder that he did what's right. You wished Namjoon would learn to live with the decision he made too.
"Ah, I'm happy you didn't forget to invite me this time." You poked your brother's stomach as a response to his smug claim that he's getting married to the love of his life for the second time.
Yes, second time. Taehyung and Yoongi's family and friends demanded that they get married again. It's unfair that you all didn't get to attend the first time they did it.
"It's a spur-of-the-moment decision!" Your brother and his husband would argue every time you teased them about forgetting to inform you about this big decision.
Truthfully, you didn't really mind that they got married behind your back. What worried you was that you felt like your brother only agreed to marry Yoongi because he was lonely and grieving.
You see, it hadn't been a while since your father died. If you remembered it correctly, you only stayed in Seoul for three months after his death. The day you went back to New York was also the day you had learned your brother was married to Yoongi for almost a week already.
No one knew, not even Jimin. Your roommate rarely saw them after you went back to Seoul. He wanted to give Taehyung space, especially because Jimin was aware that your brother's way of coping up with pain was by pretending like the problem didn't exist at all. This was why he chose to go to New York after telling his family about his sexuality. He pretended like he didn't care about what they thought and that he was better off on his own, but deep inside, he was afraid too. He was scared to fuck up again, scared to push people because he might lose them in an instant. You guessed this was why he married your best friend. Maybe he was afraid he'd end up taking him for granted. After all, Yoongi had sacrificed many things in order to be with him.
But you didn't doubt Taehyung's feelings anymore. He wouldn't agree to marry Yoongi for the second time if he didn't love him, right? Besides, your brother willingly chose to move in with Yoongi even before they got married.
It was lonely to stay in your shared apartment with Jimin. He missed and felt sorry for you. It didn't help that your roommate kept calling you, reminding Taehyung of the mess at home that he chose to ignore.
Anyway, moving in with Yoongi was for the best. At least Taehyung wouldn't feel bad for disturbing you and Jimin anymore. He knew there were times your roommate just wanted to chill and watch movies in the living room, but he couldn't because Taehyung was sleeping on the couch.
Unfortunately there's a new person invading your apartment.
"Are you two ready?" Jungkook, the same person who was staying with you and Jimin for two days now, barged inside the dressing room, disturbing your little moment with Taehyung. "The guests are waiting and your husband is sweating so much. I think he just wants to kiss you and get this over with, Taehyungie-hyung."
Jungkook had an innocent look on his face that you didn't even realize that he's saying what he wanted to do with you right now: kiss you and bring you back to Seoul with him.
Two days ago was the first time he saw you in person after you left Seoul eight months ago. If Taehyung and Yoongi didn't invite him to the wedding, Jungkook wasn't sure what excuse to make to see you again.
Talking to you through the screen of his phone wasn't enough. He craved to be with you. It's unfair that Jimin, your other suitor, got to spend time with you while he was stuck in Seoul, thousands of miles away from you.
But little did Jungkook know, he had the advantage here. He's the one you loved, not Jimin. Your roommate accepted it already. He kept telling you it's okay, that you didn't owe him anything. Jimin knew from the very start that you only saw him as a friend. You also assured him there was someone out there who could return his feelings.
In fact, you felt like he had met her already. Chou Tzuyu, the pretty girl next door. He was Jimin's date today.
"Really?" Taehyung snorted but he was smug when he said, "but we literally just fucked two hours ago—"
"Please stop. I don't need to hear this." You pouted. Jungkook chuckled as he stepped closer to you, he was still keeping a fair distance though.
"And here I am, only allowed to see the girl I love on special occasions."
"Bloody hell. Are you two still playing this game?" Taehyung grunted, looking at you and Jungkook in disbelief. "Can't you just kiss and be together already?"
Heat travelled to your face upon hearing your brother’s complaint. Jungkook chuckled again.
"Don't look at me. I'm trying here..." He was. He always tried to win you over.
You're just stubborn.
"Enough about us. This is your day, oppa." With this, you and Jungkook both escorted your brother out of the dressing room.
Hoseok and Namjoon would be the one to walk Taehyung down the aisle. Sin-ae didn’t want to attend, she said she’d rather visit Soojin in jail. As for Seokjin, well, he also wanted to walk his brother down the aisle, but Yoongi asked him to officiate their wedding instead.
Seokjin and Yoongi were already waiting at the altar. The theme of this event was a garden wedding. You were in awe as you watched the couple exchange vows while surrounded by pretty flowers and colorful butterflies.
You're glad they're doing this. Taehyung and his husband first got married in Vegas. It was rushed and not as heartwarming as this one. At least today they got to see that their family and friends were very proud of them. In fact, Seokjin made the couple cry when he abruptly stopped his brother from putting a ring on Yoongi's finger.
Seokjin brought out a ring box. You all gasped when he opened it, revealing the traditional wedding ring of the Kims. It was passed to the eldest child every generation. It meant a lot to Taehyung that Seokjin was doing this, however your brother said it's not his decision alone.
Before Taemin died, he told Seokjin to hand the ring to Taehyung. It's baffling, considering the fact that Taemin spent years hating his son just because he was gay.
Seokjin didn't say but Taemin made this decision the day before the accident occurred. It's like their father knew he was going to die and that he wanted to apologize to Taehyung for not treating him right.
Taemin also instructed Seokjin to give you a certain box but your brother figured it's best to hand it to you after the wedding. The box contained the set of Farnsworth House LEGO Architecture—Jungkook's gift to you during your sixteenth birthday.
You remembered the time when you and your sister were fighting over it, with Soojin insisting that the gift belonged to her. Taemin confiscated it, saying that if you two couldn't share, then no one could have it.
You didn't mind sharing, just like how you didn't mind seeing Yoongi and Taehyung share a passionate kiss.
Your heart hurt but in a good way. It's remarkable to see the two people you loved find their way to each other's arms.
The ceremony ended with a round of applause and with Jungkook hugging and kissing your temple as he whispered how much he loved you.
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The reception of the wedding was also in the same garden where the ceremony was held. The sun had set and now fairy lights illuminated the place.
It's romantic. You saw Jimin and Tzuyu dancing a few feet away from where you're standing. Your roommate's hands were wrapped around his date's waist. Jungkook was holding you like that too, or maybe your and Jungkook's position was more intimate. Your forehead was pressed against his. You could feel him nuzzling your cheek.
"Miss you, Tiger..." Your best friend murmured, lips trailing your cheek down to the side of your mouth.
You tightened your embrace to him as you admitted, "I miss you too, Kook." Because you did. More than so much. Seeing him now made you feel like you could finally breathe.
You didn't know how you survived the past months without him by your side.
"You do?" Jungkook hummed, his voice was innocent and full of hope as he continued asking you a question. "Will you come home with me, then?"
"I have work here, Kook.."
"So quit and accept my proposal." He grumbled and kissed the side of your mouth once more, hoping that it's enough to coax you.
Jungkook built his own architectural firm. He proposed to you, saying that he wanted to run the company with you. A professional partnership. You two were competent enough to do this.
His proposal was lame though. You told him he needed to make a concrete business plan to convince you to accept the job. So far, all his proposals didn't spark excitement.
"Please, baby, I can't spend one more day away from you." He was begging, big doe eyes and all. "Just give me more time and I'll perfect that business plan."
You threw your head back and laughed. You actually laughed because he was adorable and because you were insanely in love with him too.
"You have a month, Architect Jeon." You said, finally relenting.
"Yes!" Jungkook briefly let go of you to punch the air. He was so excited you could literally see his body shaking.
"I only need two more weeks, baby..."
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You did it.
You really quit your job and went back to Seoul with Jungkook. Admittedly, you were thrilled but at the same time, you were scared to death.
You were officially jobless now. You knew Hoseok wouldn't hesitate to hire you but you didn't want to live your life like that. You helped him break the chain when your father died. You couldn't create another one.
Apart from this, you trusted Jungkook. He said he needed fourteen days to show you that his firm was viable. You had no doubt about this, but as a future partner, you should learn how to practice professional skepticism.
"Is the blindfold really necessary?" You groaned at Jungkook, already pissed because he disturbed your peaceful morning at your eldest brother's place.
You were staying at Hoseok's apartment again. It's difficult to find a place of your own. If you were to become Jungkook's partner at the firm, then you would need to find a home near the office building.
Jungkook's architectural firm was situated on the fourth floor of Queens Building. Architect Jeon decided to rent a space first because his business was just starting. He started operating ten months ago. Perhaps he could buy a piece of land if you chose to form a professional partnership with him.
"It is. I told you this will determine my future with you." Jungkook said as he guided you.
Today was the day he'd present his business plan. He said it took him more than eight months to finish the proposal. However you weren't sure if this was still a proposal because your jaw dropped the moment he removed your blindfold.
This wasn't a proposal.
Architect Jeon Jungkook literally built a shop for you.
"Welcome to Magic Shop, Tiger." Jungkook's grin was big as he beckoned you to enter the place.
You remained rooted in your spot though, still in awe. The facade of this shop was aesthetically pleasing. On the left side of the wooden door was a pot of red flowers. A display of books on the other hand, could be seen on the right side of the door.
You could also hear a pleasing melody as you roamed your eyes around the place. You realized the music was coming from the inside of the shop.
I know that you're hesitating because even if you say the truth in the end it will all return as scars
"Come on, Tiger..." Jungkook held your hand. He could feel fear radiating from you.
You were probably afraid to discover what he prepared for you.
I'm not going to say anything blatant like "find strength"
"Okay..." You sucked in a deep breath as you gripped his hand. Jungkook led you inside the shop.
The inside was better than what you saw outside. There were no other people here aside from you and him.
You let go of Jungkook's hand since you were excited to check out the whole place. Jungkook let you be, allowing you to explore what he built just to make you stay.
Jungkook watched as you picked up a book, flipping through the pages like you were interested to see what's written there.
But that's the thing.
There's nothing written there. The books had blank pages.
I will let you hear my story, let you hear it
The lyrics of the song demonstrated the very purpose of these books. Jungkook explained that people could come and go to this place, especially if they felt like the outside world was too much, like it was suffocating them.
What did I say?
They could grab a book and write down their stories.
I said you'd win, didn't I?
They could let out their emotions through writing. It didn't matter if they'd only share their worries because someday, Jungkook knew these people would come back.
I couldn't believe it (really)
They would come back and reread their entries, and then they'd realize that they made it.
Could I win it?
That they really won.
This miracle that isn't a miracle
They'd think it's a miracle, but really, it's on them. They worked hard, they didn't give up, and they pulled themselves from a very dark place.
Did we make it?
Just like what you did.
(No) I was here
Just like what your mother and the rest of her circle in the CA meeting did.
You wrote a single entry in the book before returning it to the shelf.
You were the one that made your way to me
Entry: I’m scared because I quit my job without thinking. No, wait. I did think. I thought about the person I love. He wants to be with me. I do too. He promised he'd stay with me.
I do believe your galaxy
And you believed him. You believed his galaxy, that it's going to shine bright and guide you.
I want to listen to your melody
Jungkook's way of saying that he was here for you was through murmuring I love you. This was his melody.
Your stars in the Milky Way
His doe eyes lit this world full of despair.
Don't forget that I found you anyways
Jungkook found you when you're suffering alone.
At the end of my despair
He didn't stop supporting you even when you pushed him away, even if you told him you didn't want him to fix you.
You're the last reason for me who was standing at the edge of the cliff
He would never let you jump off a cliff. He would stay there and inspire you to
Live
On days I hate being myself, days I want to disappear forever
But Jungkook learned his lesson. He understood what you meant when you said you didn't want to be fixed.
Let's make a door in your heart
So he literally made a door instead.
Open the door and this place will await. It's okay to believe, the Magic Shop will comfort you
A door that would lead you to a place where you could find comfort, a place where you wouldn't be forced to share and solve your problems at once.
You could just chill and take a break here.
While drinking a glass of hot tea
You went to the second floor of the Magic Shop, there's a corner where you could drink different kinds of tea. There were tables and chairs if ever you preferred to talk to someone and share to them your problems. This corner was for extroverts and those who felt comfortable talking to others.
And looking up at the Milky Way
There were bean bags as well. You could drink tea here alone while looking up at the sky shining with stars.
You'll be alright, oh, this here is the Magic Shop
"You'll be alright here, Tiger." Jungkook was standing behind you. He gave you a back-hug while you both enjoyed the fresh air in the veranda.
So show me (I'll show you)
"I built this place for you, baby. I won't force you to tell me things anymore..."
So show me (I'll show you)
"I won't try to solve your problem if you don't want me to..." He kissed your nape.
So show me (I'll show you)
"I won't try to fix you..."
Show you show you
"Because you're not a thing. You're a person who needs to feel and to heal."
Like a rose when blooming, like cherry blossoms when being scattered in the wind
You were going to bloom and stop hurting at your own pace and way. He would encourage you to spread your wings and fly, enjoying the wind.
My greed that was my weapon suffocated me and also became a leash,
"Thank you, Kook..." You turned to face him. Your eyes glistened with tears of joy.
You couldn't believe he still remembered what you said to him two years ago, the thing where you didn't want him to fix you.
You're also glad he understood what you meant. Jungkook understood the type of love you needed, but days ago, you asked him when he realized he loved you.
but looking back on it now, truthfully I feel like it's not true that I wanted to be the best
Jungkook said you had to wait for a few more days to know the answer. Today, you came to know his reason.
I wanted to become your comfort and move your heart. I want to take away your sadness, and pain
"I was a very selfish person before I met you. I used to believe that what's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too."
You laughed at that. It sounded like little Jungkook. If Jong-in was alive, he'd probably nod his head in agreement.
"But just by looking at you makes me want to give you everything already, you know?"
Would you believe me if I said that I was scared of everything too?
"That's what love is for me. To offer you everything, but I learned what truly matters. I don't have to sacrifice and break myself for love. All I want now is to simply be your comfort, the shoulder you can use to lean on. That's the love I want to receive too."
Jungkook was saying the time you two spent away from each other made him realize what he wanted too. He tried to put himself in your shoes, making him realize that he wouldn't want you to take the blame and do everything for him.
He just needed you to stay with him while he fixed himself. He knew now that this was what you desired as well.
"So to answer your question why I love you. Well, it's because—" He swallowed hard as he stared deep in your soul. "You gave me the best of me."
He learned not to be selfish but also to not offer his one hundred percent to someone, that he should still leave some love for himself too.
"And I know you'll give you the best of you too." Was the major realization he came to know as to why you didn't need to be fixed.
You'd do it yourself. You'll find it, the galaxy inside you at some point.
"I love you, Tiger..."
You pulled Jungkook closer and then you caressed his cheeks.
Your eyes twinkled as you responded, "I love you too, Kook," and then you kissed him.
Jungkook melted, the worry engulfing him evaporated. He wasn't scared anymore because the kiss you shared made him know an unspoken communication between the two of you. It went like this:
"So show me..."
"I'll show you..."
- END -
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BONUS: LETTER WRITTEN BY KIM TAEMIN FOR OC
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Thank you guys so much for reading this fic. <333 I love you all! 
Please stay tuned for a new JJK fic!
Preview of BST: Jeon Jungkook was the very definition of that fictional fawn named Bambi: brown doe eyes, innocent, and a prey—something you hated about him. He was so weak. Seriously. The boy needed to grow a spine, luckily you had an idea to do just that. 
 The plan was to send him on a mission where he would be forced to defend himself, but surprise, surprise. Jungkook fucked up, causing  him to become the complete opposite of Bambi: red eyes, corrupted mind, and a...predator.
 Jungkook was a vampire and he might just bite you. 
 Alternatively: 
 “My blood, sweat, and tears. This is a spell that will punish me.”
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outerbankslut · 4 years ago
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Sorry... Pope Heyward
Summary • After a fight between the Kooks and the Pogues you go to your friends to apologise but Pope’s not having it.
Warnings • Swearing? Maybe but I can’t remember and I cba to go back through. Mentions of violence (in the fight). If there’s anything else let me know :) JJ smoking as usual.
Word Count • 1.7k (Imagine)
Masterlist
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(GIF isn’t mine, let me know if it’s yours)
    THE NOISES OF the cars engine knocked you out of your daze as you drove down the paved, sweltering streets of outer banks. The houses you passed a second ago were filled with perfectly trimmed bushes, the building decked in marble and stone with backyards for miles and a pool to finish it off. Whereas the houses you passed now were smaller and wooden, looking fragile almost. Lots of the yards were messier and lazier but they didn't have personal gardeners or the time nor money to do it themselves generally. It made your heart clench as you thought about how just a mile back you were living luxuriously while people over here slaved away to earn everything they owned. They weren't handed it like you were.
You were on your way to the cut to see your friends. But not for a casual hangout. You needed to see if they were okay. After the events of the night before you couldn't be sure what happened after you left.
Rafe has been involved in a fight between all the Pogues including you. No surprise there. He’d been the instigator of it all. It had broken out just you were all planning to leave and then the Cameron boy and the rest of his country club friends came over and joined in somehow finding fun in hitting and punching people due to the entitlement blinding their eyes from the truth that they were the same. Well maybe not personality wise in any way at all. But you were all human beings and yet you were pitted against each other from the day you were born. Only some succumbed to the amounting pressure of their kook or pogue parents to stay away from the other side others realised how petty and stupid it was.
It was always like a scene from west side story when the two groups were mixed and it never ended well. It usually left you to pick up the pieces of their messes. Or any mess of your brothers really. It had always been you. You taking responsibility for anything he did. Whilst he would go disappear and sniff a few lines before making his triumphant return you would be mending what he broke or taking the blame. Being younger than him didn't help with him manipulating you as a child. Rafe broke a vase and suddenly you broke the vase. Rafe stole money from dad since he blew his allowance on coke and alcohol and instead you stole the money. It had always been that way and by now you were used to being left in the wake of your brothers tyranny.
You always felt responsible no matter what happened. The events of last night where stuck in your mind like super glue and the guilt was filling up your lungs. It wasn't your fault. But at the same time it was. You didn't stop your brother, you let your friends get hurt by him. And they must hate you. Probably wish you'd never been let into their group.
The tires of your car screeched to a halt beside the Twinkie which occupied the space outside of the chateau. It was eerily quiet until you stepped out onto the grassy and muddy ground and heard muffled laughter from inside the wooden walls of the small fish shack. You could smell the after effects of a joint wafting through the air. No doubt it was JJ.
Once you entered the chateau the small creak of the screen door was enough to gain the attention of all the Pogues who glanced up at your presence. Only then did you see what was leftover from the fight last night. Kie looked at you with a small smile but you could see the light grazing on her cheeks and her hands that held the wooden neck of a ukulele. But yet she still seemed happy to see you. And then JJ who sent you a lazy smile as he inhaled more of the joint between his bruised knuckled fingers and the smoke covered his purple and yellow and green painted face but only for a second. Then John B who held a beer in his hands but you could see the blood surrounding his split lip and small cut above his black eye.
None noticed your small frown or look of quilt swarming you except from Pope who stared intensely and lingered on the downturning of your lips as you turned and caught his gaze. You could see the small cut beneath his chin and no doubt just like the John B and JJ he accumulated bruises on his stomach or arms. But he was wearing his shirt buttoned up whereas JJ laid shirtless and John B stood with his shirt open.
It hurt you the most seeing Pope. The multiple bruises and cuts adorning his normally smooth and unharmed skin. They were because of you. When Pope moved in front of you stopping you from receiving the backhand Rafe sent your way as you berated him to stop. He was the reason you weren't hurt. And you were the reason he was hurt.
Pope looked at you oddly as you just stood there letting out a sigh.
"Y/N?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowing in question. When you didn't answer again he stood up and walked over to you where you stood with your hands threaded together and rubbing in anticipation. "What's wrong?"
"I-I wanted to apologise to you last night."
The rest of the Pogues had turned their attention to you, JJ even stopped smoking for a second to listen. Your eyes were down trained on the wooden flooring as you spoke. Popes furrowed brows deepened as he looked at you slightly bewildered that you thought you needed to apologise.
"I'm sorry he hurt you guys. It was all my fault and I should have stopped him but I didn't." You let out a dry chuckle. "All of you got hurt and yet I'm perfectly fine." You shook you head and sighed. "But I'm really sorry."
Despite the nice welcoming from your friends you still had the deep rooted fear they would hate you after last night but the looks on their faces held sadness or confusion rather than anger or disdain.
Pope had seen you do this before with the group. Whether it be a Pogue and Kook fight or just a small thing when he'd been around your house, like accepting responsibility when Rafe forgot to pick Wheezie up from her ballet class or the time when you'd apologised profusely for Rafes mistreatment of JJ at his job at the country club. But most of those times he'd believed it to be a small courtesy of just being related to the problem or saying it like when you say you're sorry for someone's loss but it wasn’t like that with you. At least not this time.
You were apprehensive to look up to meet his but when you did you saw the boy let out a small scoff and you were ready for him to yell at you to leave and never come back.
"God! Stop apologising for other people! You're not the shitty one!" The Heyward boy exclaimed blowing a fuse which surprised everyone when Pope was normally the calm and collected one. Not all the time. But most.
And he wasn’t angry towards you but toward Rafe and even the smallest notion that what he did laid on your shoulders. You simply blinked in his direction not sure what to say at his outburst.
"Pope—" You started saying before you were cut off by the boy throwing his hands in the air.
"No I can't take it any longer. I can't watch you blame yourself and apologise for the punches Rafe throws or the shitty things he does. He's a bad person and you are not him. I don't give a damn if he's your brother, okay? Y/N you've never done anything wrong in your life and yet you keep apologising for everything he does. It's not your fault. I'll tell you a million—scratch that a billion times if I have to."
And once again you blinked but this time blinking away the glossy liquid in your eyes hoping to clear your vision. It was a different feeling having someone tell you it wasn't your fault for once. Popes eyes stared passionately towards you as you held his stare. You felt comforted just the the deep ebony colours of his eyes that focused on you.
"I still left you guys though after. I didn't stay and help." You told them and Kiara stood quickly, abandoning the instrument on the couch and placing a hand on your arm. You felt yourself sniffling. Pope moved his hand as well but lightly placed it in your own moving his fingers over your palm in circles soothingly. Letting you know he was there. Pope and you had definitely always been the closest in the group. If you ever needed someone Pope was always there. Whether it was someone to cry on or rant to, he was always there. And he definitely cared a lot about you as you did him.
"Hey, Y/N. You still tried to help us. That’s what counts. And we get it was overwhelming. We don't have to deal with psycho brothers. No offence." Kie spoke softly and you chuckled lightly at her comment through small tears that you were quick to wipe away.
"Yeah, Rafe is his own person and technically an adult he can take responsibility for his own shit." JJ spoke as he stood from his space on the couch joined by John B behind him.
"I still don't understand how the two of you are even related."
You shrugged a small smile growing on your lips that Pope noticed. "Me and Sarah both wonder that. A lot."
They all let out small laughs before Pope pulled you in for a hug and you nestled your head into his shoulder at his warm and enticing hold. He smelt of musk with small hints of aftershave and salt water. But most of all he smelt of home. Somewhere that would always be inviting and your one true solace from the world.
Note • Got my writing mojo back, kinda. And I used a prompt for this which helped a lot as well maybe too much. But uh so funny story I said it could make a cute blurb and one thing leads to another and I’ve written 1.7k words oopsies. I rambled too much and it’s trash and it’s also 2am so forgive me. But I need help I write too much unnecessary details in my fics and it makes it so long and probably boring. Anyway it’s✨trash✨but I hope maybe you enjoyed.
Join My Tag List Here • @starlightstarkey @rafecameron @starksweasleymain @jjsredhat @scandalousfemale @sguymon21 @bricksatanakinswindow @futuretaxcheat @wannabeslut @ad-infinitums @outrebanx @pit-zuh @pankowrudeth @jiaraendgame @outerbanksbro @copper-boom @alternativehp @brie-gr3y
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eleanorbloom · 4 years ago
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[OH] When You’re Ready Ch. 03
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Disclaimer: I don’t own anything of the Open Heart World. The name Eleanor Bloom and her story was created by me, though.
Pairing: Bryce Lahela x f! MC (Eleanor Bloom) x Ethan Ramsey.
Word Count: 4.8k
Warning: Angst, adult language, and smut. 
Summary: Bryce has decided to let go of Eleanor because she’s in love with Ethan Ramsey. But a turn in her relationship with the attending might change Bryce's plans.
A/N: Thank you so much for all your kind words and your support. 
I have the urge to remind you all that English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes. As a perfectionist, I’ve been having a hard time trying to make this fic the more comprehensible as it can be.  I know my English doesn’t suck, that your people understand what I write (lol) but I’m sure there are some idioms or, I don’t know, the order of the words that may seem off, and I can't help but feel bad about it. Just know that this happens because I’m a Spanish speaker trying to write a fanfic in English.  
That’ll be all. Lots of love to my readers 
Let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist! :)
Taglist: @utterlyinevitable @binny1985 ​ @laiba-the-person ​ @choicesficwriterscreations @shanzay44
______
Chapter Three: All I Ask.
It matters how this ends
‘Cause what if I never love again? 
Eleanor walked into the locker room feeling her heart in her throat, a knot threatening to make her explode with rage and bitterness once again. When she reached for her locker, she found Sienna already fully dressed to leave Edenbrook.
“Oh my god, Ellie, are you okay?!” Sienna inquired as she perceived the mortified expression on her face.
“I’m not”
“What happened? Did you… Did you speak with Dr. Ramsey?”
“I did”
“And?”
Eleanor couldn’t help but let a few tears stream down her face, but she managed to avoid the sob.
“He’s going to the Amazon with the WHO”
“What?! Oh my god, that’s big”
"And he’s leaving tomorrow”
“Oh no. Ellie, I’m so sorry ”
Suddenly, all traces of sadness and rage disappeared from her. She wiped the tears off her face and cleared her throat.
“Don’t be. Let’s get outta here, I need a drink”
"Okay, I’ll text the others to meet at Donahue’s”
Sienna eyed Eleanor with concern. She wanted to tell her to stop suppressing her feelings, to stop pretending she didn’t care, but she preferred to keep it quiet, hoping that at some point she would explode and let everything out. Because she had spent all those weeks pretending that she didn’t care, that it didn’t hurt to ignore Ramsey, that it didn’t hurt that he didn’t care that she was ignoring him. Nearly five months of pent-up emotions.
 An hour later, Eleanor was at Donahue’s with Bryce and her new best friend, the vodka. Elijah was with Phoebe choosing a few songs on the jukebox to dance to; Sienna was with Danny and other nurses playing darts and Jackie and Rafael were deep in conversation at the bar. Bryce had noticed her mood but didn’t want to ask her directly, since he guessed who was responsible. Instead, he preferred to join her to drink, without judging that she was almost drinking the entire bottle of vodka by herself without any coyness, although he was willing to make her stop when it became dangerous for her health.
Suddenly, Eleanor’s face sparkled with fury. Bryce turned to check the source of her discomfort, knowing perfectly well who it was. Ethan was at the bar talking to Reggie as he took a seat.
“You’re so predictable, Ethan Ramsey"—She muttered as she took the shot of vodka in one sip—"I bet he’ll have a couple of shots, waiting for the moment when I’m alone, and if doesn’t find me alone he’ll just switch to some non-alcohol drink because he will have to wait for me until I decide to go home. All that wait just to cry apologies for something he didn’t want to say, but said anyway”
Bryce smirked as he heard her rant.
"Do you want me to leave you alone so you can talk to him?”
“No! No, please, I don’t want to make it that easy for him. I want to see what he’s capable of. If he’s just going to be a shitty wary that’s going to expect to find me alone, or if he’s able to get right up to me. Please don’t leave me alone, Bryce.
“Don’t worry, Elle, I won’t leave you alone if that’s what you want”
“Thank you, Bryce. You are the best”
“I know I am. Cheers for that”
They clanged their glasses and took another shot.
“Why are you so mad, by the way?”
Eleanor told him their talk with the details that only a drunk and upset person can do it.
“So, he’s leaving then? And he didn’t even tell you?”
“No. He didn’t want to tell me”
“Oof, what a douche. Hun, why do you let him treat you like this?”
“I don't know. I don’t know why I have allowed this torment for so long. But I got tired. I don’t care anymore. If he stays, if he goes. I don’t know why should I care when he has never cared for how bad I’ve been all this time”
Bryce looked at her with a sad expression. He hated to see Eleanor that way. Crying, hopeless. Suffering. He took her hand tenderly.
“Eleanor, I’m so sorry”—He said, caressing the back of her hand—“You don’t deserve anything you’re going through. It’s okay to be angry, you can’t allow him to treat you like that”
“I know”—She replied in a tiny voice.
“And you can’t keep wasting your time with someone who doesn’t value you, Elle. He may love you, but if he really valued you, he wouldn’t treat you like that. He wouldn’t let you suffer like that” 
Bryce stroked her cheek, looking right into her tear-filled eyes.
“You’re right, Bryce"—She stared right into his eyes without looking away, then wiped her tears with the back of her hand.
“You deserve the world, Eleanor”
She couldn’t help but give him a big smile as her cheeks flushed.
Then she turned her gaze to the bar and realized that Ethan was with a tense posture making glances toward their table.  Seeing Eleanor cry and be comforted by Bryce surely challenged his nerves more than he was willing to admit.
About fifteen minutes later, her friends began to return to the table to start the Karaoke session. They had fun with some of their favorite songs and other classics requested by other clients. Then was Eleanor’s turn to sing a song. She felt a twist on her stomach.
“Eleanor, it’s your turn, what did you request?”
“All I Ask”—She replied to Elijah, simply.
Everyone at the table stared at her.
"Eleanor…"—Bryce whispered—"Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes. I’m done hiding my feelings, pretending he didn’t hurt me just to make him feel the less uncomfortable”
The melody began to play, and Eleanor already felt her heart shatter without even having started the first line. Her friends stared at her for a few moments and then looked away at the awkward situation that was coming. 
“I will leave my heart at the door
I won’t say a word
They’ve all been said before, you know”
Eleanor was heartbroken and drunk, and practically putting on a show in front of all Donahue’s, but deep down her friends knew that that was what Eleanor needed right now, to release all her feelings in front of Ethan, though not directly. Because Eleanor had been holding back all these months, resisting love, the desire to be with Ethan, resisting the urge to stand in his office or his home and ask him once again to stop pushing her away and to be together once and for all, more times than she had already done. She had swallowed the love, the pride, the pain in inhuman ways. But what had happened today was the culmination of too many repressed feelings, and if her way of finding catharsis was through the saddest, cheesiest, and most heartbreaking song Adele had ever written, then so be it.
“So why don’t we just play pretend
Like we’re not scared of what is coming next
Or scared of having nothing left”
Eleanor took all the courage she had and turned her gaze to Ethan, who was staring at her with the most mortifying look she had ever seen on him, and she had seen plenty: When Dolores passed away, when he found out Banerji had a month to live. He was not holding anything, the pain, the guilt, the embarrassment.
“Look, don't get me wrong 
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is
If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I’m more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do
It matters how this ends
‘Cause what if I never love again?”
At least Eleanor had a very good voice to sing the songs of Adele, so she wasn’t embarrassing herself too badly. Of course, she was not as good as Adele herself but made a few good notes, and the alcohol had given her too much courage to go for the high pitches, and the anger gave her too much feeling to sing with such a passion, that she astonished to all her friends. She was actually killing it.
-"I don’t need your honesty
It’s already in your eyes
And I’m sure my eyes, they speak for me
No one knows me like you do
Eleanor looked directly at Ethan again.
And since you’re the only one that mattered
Tell me who do I run to?"
The words came out with such rage from her core, that Ethan felt as if she had said it a few inches from him, and not indirectly through a song and standing several feet away from him. And he felt every one of her words, every look, every drop of anger and sadness. He acknowledged receipt of all this and accepted his responsibility. He felt broken at the sight of her because he wanted to do so much to ease her pain. But he couldn’t.
After the song was over, Eleanor returned to her place with tears on her face but not one iota of embarrassment.
“Eleanor, that was truly beautiful”—Sienna said, tears on her face too—"Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m feeling better, I think it took a lot of weight off my shoulders”
“That is the important thing”
“You were very brave”—Bryce said caressing her back.
“Guys, I just ridiculed myself in front of the whole bar and you guys are treating me like I’ve won a war”
“You did something for yourself that you should have done months ago. Show how you really feel”—Sienna replied, serious.
“Well…”
“We are proud of you, Eleanor”— Elijah added.
“It’s about damn time you take care of yourself and don’t let Ramsey do whatever the fuck he wants”—Continued Jackie.
“Even if that means to sing a sad song in front of him”—Concluded Sienna.
After that, Eleanor was in a better mood and managed to distract herself from all she had been through that day. However, the presence of Ethan, sitting there at the bar, probably waiting for her, was a latent nuisance in her stomach.
A few hours later, Eleanor and her friends decided to go home. The moment she passed by his side, Ethan got up from his seat and walked towards her.
“Rookie”.
His disposition had changed from hell to heaven. She was no longer Dr. Bloom. She was Rookie again.
“What is it, Dr. Ramsey?”
Ethan looked at her sadly at the coldness in her response.
“Can we talk?”
Eleanor looked away to the floor, anger washing over her again. Then she looked back at him, who was waiting for her answer with pleading eyes.
“About what? I’m going home”
“I know … I-“
“I’ve been here the last four hours, I’m sure you could’ve looked for me in all this time… But obviously you waited for me to want to go home to do it?”
Ethan knew she was berating him. She shook her head.
“I was hoping you weren’t such a coward and would look for me directly. But you behave like a shy teenager who has never spoken to a woman in his life”
“Eleanor, are you coming?”—Jackie asked.
Her friends were at the door, first-hand witnesses of her exchange with Ethan.
“No, I stay. Don’t worry about me”
Eleanor looked at Ramsey coldly. They took a seat in the back of the bar so no one could hear them.
“So? I thought we were done”—She broke the silence between them.
“No, we are not done, Eleanor”
Ethan lowed her head, pondering his words.
“If�� If I didn’t tell you about my trip to the Amazon, was because I wanted to make things less difficult for us. The last time we spoke I made myself clear that we can’t be together not because I don’t want to, but because we can’t. And when I noticed you started to avoid me, I thought maybe you finally understood my point, and I was okay with that”
“Then why you threw all over my face that I was ignoring you, like you weren’t okay with that?”
“Because I realized that you didn’t do it because you understood my point. You did it to piss me off. To return the favor. As vengeance. So, if you did actually ignore me with that motive in mind, you didn’t have the right to reclaim something from me”
“I…”—Her cheeks turned red.
“That’s not the point now, Eleanor”—He interrupted—"What I’m trying to say is… You can’t stop saying that everything I’ve done it’s because I want it, that I’m responsible of all your misery. But let me be clear. I don’t want it, Eleanor. I don’t want to be apart from you, I don’t want to ignore you. I’ve never wanted to spend the last five months ignoring your existence, not be able to talk to you, not to even look at you”
Eleanor observed his features, tracing all sense of honesty and determination. She knew he wasn’t lying or playing the victim.
“I’m not comfortable with this”—He continued—"I’m not okay with that but if that’s what allows me to be away from you to not interfere in your career, I’m willing to do that and more. I know it’s painful for you, that it’s not the best option for both of us. But this is the only way I can cope up with the situation”
“The only way… Ethan, are you sure not talking to me, not even looking at me the is the only option?”
“To me, it is”—He responded categorically—Eleanor, what I want is to be with you. If I could, I would’ve never let you leave my bed the first time we made love, or I would’ve never get up from your bed the last time we were together. If I could, I would live in that dream all my life. But I can’t”
Tears started to stream down her face. Again. His words broke her in million pieces. Because she couldn’t stop reliving those nights in all these months. Now she was realizing Ethan couldn’t either.
“I need you to understand that I’ve never wanted to hurt you. If my actions have hurt you, I’m sorry, but I mean it when I say I’ve never wanted anything of this to happen. I would love to make you happy in the ways you want. Believe me. But you have fought so hard to be here, Eleanor. Years to get to be at Edenbrook. Years and especially difficult months to get the Junior Fellow position. I can’t let you jeopardize your career nor your reputation”
Eleanor was speechless. She felt dumb, like a stupid teenager that let herself go on emotions and never thought through the real meaning of all his actions. She still felt a little pissed off, because there were still a lot of things Ethan should have avoided telling her and that were mean. But everything else he had done was… reasonable. Fair. Thoughtful.
“Ethan… I’m sorry for yelling at you like that. I feel embarrassed about how childish I was today”
“No, Eleanor. I still believe that you have every right to be mad at me because I didn’t tell you I would be out. I always knew I should’ve told you, but I was afraid. I’m a coward as you said. I didn’t want to face this conversation. Your pain. But you deserved more”
Eleanor nod.
“Well, yeah. You should’ve told me. But I made an outburst. I didn’t want to listen to you, I was being stubborn just to get what I want, but maybe I’ve never really put myself in your shoes”
“That’s all I ask. To understand why I’m doing this from my point of view”
Suddenly, Reggie approaches.
“Ethan, I’m sorry, but we are about to close”
“Thank you, Reggie”
Eleanor grabbed her purse and walked to the door followed by Ethan.
Eleanor turned to him.
“I believe you when you tell me you’ve never wanted to hurt me by staying away from me. But there have been plenty of times when you have hurt me by behaving like a dick to me, unnecessarily. Because one thing is avoiding to talk to me, but you have ignored me, you have been cruel, you have looked at me like you hate me”
“Yes. I know. I hope you can forgive me one day”
“I could forgive you, but I’ll only do it when I feel assured that you won’t do it again and I think there’s not enough time for that now”
Ethan stared without saying a word. He knew he couldn’t promise her that. He knew himself.
“Well, I think you can go in peace now that we have left everything clear, don’t we? Have a nice flight, I hope the mission is a success and you return safely. Bye”
Eleanor started to walk down the street to get a taxi.
“Why are you leaving like that? You’re not even going to say goodbye?”
“I said bye. That’s a goodbye. Or was it too informal? Goodbye Dr. Ramsey. There you have”
Ethan took her arm, forcing her to look into his eyes. Hers were reddened, tired, anguished. Like she was holding a ton of pain on her mind.
“Eleanor…”
“What, Ethan, what?“—She answered as her voice was breaking. She didn’t want him to go. But she had to let him go. To let that goodbye lingering more than necessary would only do her more harm than it had already done her.
“Let me take you home”
No. She would lose her mind if she let that happen. But she wanted it so bad.
“You were drinking”
“I drank whiskey when I arrived, after that, just lemonade, because I figured I’d have to wait until the end of the night to talk to you”
She wanted so bad to be with him as much time as possible. But she was trying to respect Ethan's intentions. But… He was leaving tomorrow. That was the last time she would see him in god knows how much time.
“Okay, let's go”—She agreed.
They walked silently back to the hospital, where Ethan had his car parked. The journey was silent. Ethan didn’t even dare to turn on the radio. They were only accompanied by the noise of the engine and other vehicles traveling through the streets of Boston at 3 am.
Eleanor wanted to say so many things, but it would make everything worse. So she lost herself in the smell of his car. Every time she sensed that smell on someone’s car o in any place, it reminded her of him. 
She had always had a particularly olfactory memory, and although most of the time it brought her good memories of her childhood or adolescence, in terms of relationships it always brought her bittersweet memories, melancholy, regret. 
She knew that smell—The smell of Ethan’s car, a scent of pine and musk—, or his smell — a fresh citric scent—would only bring her pain.
Ethan parked outside the apartment. The street was lonely, no one could be seen in the distance, and the only sound was the murmur of cars passing by the main avenue. A lump wove in her throat. She was afraid.
Eleanor turned to him to say goodbye. She wanted to make it simple. She could swear that she wanted to make it simple. 
“Have a good trip, Ethan, I hope you get back safely”—She spoke softly as she hugged him.
"Thank you, Eleanor”
“Text me to know that you arrived safely, please”—Eleanor asked, looking straight into his eyes. Those sky-blue eyes that were always the beginning of all her madness.
Ethan caressed the nape of her neck with his thumb and then he closed his eyes while pressing his forehead into hers, trying to absorb all her presence, the silkiness of her hair, the sweet scent of her neck, the warmth of her skin, of her hands. Before Eleanor could pull away, he sighed:
“I hope one day you finally understand that everything I’ve done, everything I’m doing, is for you. Because it's never been about me, Eleanor. The only thing that matters to me is that you become the brilliant and successful doctor you really deserve to be”
There were so much sincerity and pain in his speech that Eleanor pulled away from him so she could see his eyes. She stroked his cheek.
“I know, in a way I understand it, Ethan… But I can’t accept that path has to be this painful… And so unfair”
“Life isn’t fair, Eleanor”
Eleanor wanted to refute him that in this case, life had nothing to do with it. Because life wasn’t being unfair to her. He was being unfair. But she was unable to say a word. She was mesmerized by Ethan’s look. His eyes that so many times had given her comfort, now they haunted her dreams, they didn’t let her sleep at night, and at that precise moment, was threatening the little sanity she had left. 
After a few moments, they began to look at their lips, mere inches away from each other, until they finally gave in to the inevitable. A brush of lips so satisfying and full of redemption that they sighed in unison, to come together again in a more intense kiss, capturing and biting each other lips. Ethan felt Eleanor’s tears stream down his cheeks. To alleviate her own pain and avoid a sob, Eleanor stroked Ethan’s hair tightly in the back of his head, intensifying the kiss even more, sliding her tongue in his, and all over his lips. 
Ethan didn’t have time to hesitate and was caught up by the same desire. Soon, he was sliding his hands under Eleanor’s coat, feeling the curve of her breasts, her waist, and her hips. It was a never-ending dance of lips, which was complemented by more caresses, and then Eleanor climbing on top of Ethan, straddling him with her legs.
On another occasion, she would have pulled herself together and walked away. But knowing that she wouldn’t see him again for a long time, it drove her crazy. And maybe not for a long time, but there was always the possibility that this would be the last time they would be together, that both of them would want each other. Because no one could foretell what would happen from now on, when both he and she had finally accepted that their relationship had reached a dead end and that it was up to Ethan to revive it, and he had been clear that that wouldn’t happen.
“Eleanor…”—He sighed, a glint of reluctancy in his tone. He gulped.
She ignored him and continued to kiss him passionately, as she began to move over Ethan’s lap gently. 
"Deny that you want this"—She whispered a moments later—"Say that you don’t want me and I swear I’ll go”
Eleanor pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. It was dark, but she was able to see the sparkle in his eyes slightly. Eleanor’s anticipation was stifling as she felt Ethan’s bulge between her tights.
“I want you more than anything in this world”—He replied melting at the sight of her on top of him, his arms around her body.
Without wasting another second, she kissed him again, intensifying her movements over him.
“Eleanor"—He gasped, feeling an electric shock down his spine as he rested his hand over Eleanor's hips, pressing her against his crotch, rubbing each other as their moans began to invade the car.
Suddenly, Eleanor slid her hand between his tights, feeling his arousal under her fingers. He went to her pants, unbuttoned them, and shoved his hand under her panties. He felt her wetness, her desire. She sighed.
“Ohh, Ethan…”
“You’re so ready”
“Yes” She mumbled.
Ethan tried to lower her pants, but he couldn’t do much, due to the uncomfortable position. For a second, Eleanor thought they could have gone to her room but abandoned the idea immediately. She knew that Ethan could have second thoughts on their way to her apartment and she didn’t want to risk the possibility to be with him. 
Instead, she returned to the passenger seat, took off her shoes, and after moving the seat backward, took off her pants and panties. Ethan imitated her and pushed the seat backward as well and began to unfasten his pants. Eleanor, anxious, unhooked his belt and pants before he could finish, and released his cock under the boxer, and lowered herself to slide her tongue in all his length, to finally cover the tip with his mouth and then go deep. After a few moments, she moved upwards, sucking him hard.
“Eleanor”—He sighed in pleasure.
The girl worked on him for a few moments, until Ethan stopped her and guided her to sit on his lap again. “Come here”
They kissed again, devouring each other, Ethan grazing her jaw, her neck greedily, while she was gasping loudly as the anticipation was taking her body, feeling his arousal right under her sex. Then he removed her sweater and pulled her shirt and bra up, exposing his breasts. He cupped them with both hands before taking his mouth straight to her chest and began to kiss them… and then to suck her nipples.
"Ethan” Eleanor moaned loudly “Yes!”
The sound of his breath while licking her nipples and the “smack” after his mouth sucked them resonated in the car, and it was just another source of pleasure for Eleanor. But there was still something both were missing. Eleanor shifted slightly as she directed his arousal towards her center.
“Fuck”—She sighed as Ethan was entering her.
It was a blessed feeling, although neither of them believed in God, least of all in religion. That pleasure, that ecstasy, was a catharsis after all those months containing their deepest feelings and desires, after reliving almost every night the precious time they had spent together and that now were long gone.
“Oh, I missed you"—He groaned, taking her butt harder, as he was picking up more speed.
“Fuck yes. I wanted you so bad”—She kissed him, tongues colliding, teeth biting and swollen lips asking for more and more.
“You feel amazing, Eleanor”
The noise of their bodies colliding filled the car, but they were soon muffled with the moans that each one was not able to suppress, in the face of the sensations that were overwhelming them.
If someone was passing by and they had caught them, they wouldn’t have cared. All that mattered at that moment, was the feeling of their bodies connected. The pleasure that one was producing in the other. The ecstasy, the madness of their touch. The smell of their bodies. Ethan went to her breasts taking one with her hand, sucking her nipples hard while the other hand was on her ass, gripping her roughly.
“Ethan, I’m close”
Ethan was holding back just to this moment. He grabbed her firmly by her hips and began to thrust her at an impossible pace. Eleanor couldn’t comprehend where all that sensations were coming from, how she started to melting so abruptly, because she climaxed just a few seconds later.
“Oh my god, ETHAN!”—She screamed as he felt her hot breath in his mouth. Her tights squeezed as she was climaxing and that was enough to make him cum crying out her name.
He saw Eleanor toppling over him resting her forehead into his. Ethan embraced her, trying to feel every inch of her exposed skin in his.
“I love you”—She whispered.
He tightened his embrace, just as he did the last time she had said those words, and Eleanor still couldn’t figure out if he did that to pent up and not say anything, or to catch some bravery to tell her something. Either way, she wasn’t waiting for an answer this time. She only wanted him to know, before leaving, that she still loved him.
After a few more seconds holding each other, Eleanor returned to the passenger seat. She took her clothes and began to put them on. He also fixed his clothes. Somehow, when she came back to reality, the atmosphere was just as tense and painful as before the kiss. Even though the orgasm was still latent between her tights, the fact of knowing that the goodbye had finally come, was shattering her.
She turned to him, look into his blue eyes for a brief second, and breathed:
“Have a good flight ”
And without further ado, she got out of the car towards the building. 
“I love you too, Eleanor”—He said just as Eleanor closed the building’s door.
 _____
Chapter 4.
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clumsyclifford · 4 years ago
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if you're not taking prompts feel free to ignore this but I read your mashton - Oh, Calamity and I was wondering if you felt like writing smth (maybe for malum? But any ship really) where one of them wants to leave the band bc they can't handle the pressure anymore
omg yes here is the prequel to the oh calamity fic but just so you know this is uh. this is very much an angst fic. so i recommend reading this and then rereading the oh calamity, which is right here, unless you enjoy, idk, pain and sadness
-
All that Michael can think is that he’s seen this before.
He saw it in Zayn, when they toured with One Direction, and he used to look at his own band with pride and a hint of guilt and think, at least nothing will ever tear us apart. Nothing like that will ever happen to 5 Seconds of Summer. Now Michael wants to go back and sucker punch his past self. 
Because Ashton is standing in front of them, fingers balled tightly at his side, and Michael wishes he could erase the last ten seconds, even though it’s not just about the last ten seconds. It’s about the last ten hours, ten days, hell, ten months. Ashton’s been struggling for a long time.
But Michael thought he’d gotten better.
Calum’s the first to speak. “What? Seriously?”
“Ashton,” Luke says. Michael glances at Luke, but Luke just looks ashen, betrayed and in pain and floundering for something to say. “Are — is this a joke?”
They can all tell from Ashton’s face that it isn’t a joke, but Ashton shakes his head anyway. His hair falls over his forehead. “I wish. I wish it was a joke.”
“Then say it’s a fucking joke,” Michael says quietly, and everyone turns to look at him.
“It’s not,” Ashton says, looking at the floor. Michael wants to shout, be a fucking man and look me in the eye. 
“Ashton,” Calum says. As if his name holds some power over him. Michael wants to think he’s gotten to know Ashton pretty well in their time as a band (although now he’s not sure, second-guessing everything), and he can see the set in Ashton’s jaw, the slump of his shoulders, the way he stands like he’s already defeated but still willing to take the hits. Ashton has made up his mind.
And so has Michael.
“It’s — I’ve already spoken to management,” Ashton says, in the smallest voice ever. Michael is torn between the desperate need to stare him down and the equally desperate desire to never see his face again. “I’m sorry, I am, I just needed to — I wanted —” He breaks off and sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. The stillness in the air is fucking agony. Michael wishes someone would yell. It might be him. “I know this is shitty, but it’s been shitty for me for awhile. A long time. And I haven’t been doing well. This is what I need to do. I’m sorry. I’m so — yeah. I’m just sorry.”
“Take a break,” Luke says, his voice cracking down the middle. “Ashton. You’re leaving? Just like that? After we said — you said —”
“I know, I know, I can’t say I’m sorry enough times,” Ashton says helplessly, reaching up to rub at the back of his neck. His hands haven’t stopped moving. Michael wants to grab them and hold them in place. 
“Why would you talk to management before telling us?” he asks, low but easily heard. Ashton looks beseechingly at him.
 “Because I knew you’d convince me to stay,” he says hoarsely. “And I — I can’t. I’m sorry. Michael, I’m —”
“Don’t say you’re sorry again,” Michael says. He tears his gaze from Ashton and stares resolutely at his shoes, stubbornly not crying.
Calum clears his throat. “So, what? You’re leaving the tour? We only have, like, four shows left.”
Of course Calum is thinking logistics. Michael doesn’t know how Calum can think clearly at all. It feels like someone’s stuffed Michael’s chest full of cotton and then poured bleach in the space where his heart should be and now they’re asking how he feels. Shitty, is the answer. Like he’s being slowly eaten away from the inside out. Like jumping in front of a moving train would hurt less than this does.
“I’m finishing the tour,” Ashton says nervously. “But then I’m going home.” He hesitates. “And staying home.”
Luke pushes himself to his feet suddenly and Michael watches him, because he can’t help it. The expression on Luke’s face is so open, so vulnerable, so hurt. For a blinding moment, Michael hates him, too. 
“I’m not mad that you’re leaving,” he says quietly. “If it’s what’s really best for you. But I’m fucking pissed that you didn’t talk to us first. We’re your best friends, Ashton.”
And he stalks back to his bunk, probably to listen to emo music and cry.
“I,” Calum says, and slowly stands. “Uh, I need to think. And be alone. I think. Um. Yeah. Sorry.”
Ashton steps aside to let Calum into the bunk area, and then it’s just him and Michael, and Michael wants to yell or something, wants to punch Ashton in the stomach, wants to kiss him senseless until Ashton can’t remember that he’s leaving, much less why. Fuck. Fuck.
“What does this mean for us,” he says flatly.
Ashton gives him a pained look, and that’s all Michael needs to know. If he’s honest with himself, he might have admitted that he’d known what Ashton would say (or not say), but it hurts just the same, like a dagger to Michael’s heart.
Love isn’t supposed to hurt this much. But then again, love isn’t supposed to fucking abandon you the moment you admit to it. 
“You’re an asshole,” Michael tells him, standing up finally. He’s always been a little taller than Ashton, and now he feels it more than ever, especially with the way Ashton is shrinking back, down, becoming as small as possible, the anguish still written so clearly across his face. “You’re an asshole for this, you know that?”
“Michael.”
“Don’t,” Michael says. “I get it. You need to — you’re unhappy, and you need a break, and, whatever, okay, I get it, but you don’t have to leave this, Ashton. You don’t —” Fuck. Now it’s Michael’s voice breaking. “You don’t have to leave me.”
Ashton just shakes his head. “Michael, it’s not that easy. It’s not just about us.”
“Well, at least it’s all about you,” Michael snaps. The broken pieces of his heart are sharpening into jagged, splintered weapons now, and all Michael can think to do is launch them back at the asshole who’s responsible for them. Distantly, he realizes this is a breakup.
Well. Michael’s not going to let Ashton drag it out. “So we’re done?” he says, before Ashton can say anything. Ashton blinks, and if Michael cared to check he’s sure he’d find tears in Ashton’s eyes. It’s cruel to make Ashton be the one to say it, but it’s also cruel to leave in the first place. And it hadn’t been Michael’s fucked-up idea to leave the band and his maybe-boyfriend.
“I think so,” Ashton whispers. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t fucking apologize to me again or so help me god I will punch your lights out,” Michael growls, and he whips past Ashton and shuts himself in his bunk, back pressed against the wall, heels of his palms burrowing into his eye sockets as if that’ll keep the tears in.
Fuck Ashton Irwin. Fuck him. Fuck this fucking band. Fuck Luke and Calum. Fuck their shitty fans for putting so much pressure on all of them. Fuck the entire world for being the worst place on the planet. Fuck Ashton for being so insistent on keeping them a secret and then leaving as soon as Michael had admitted that he — 
Fuck Ashton Irwin.
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bakugou-tm · 6 years ago
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HELLO IMYSM i hope youre having a relaxing christnas break bc u deserve to rest!!!! anyways may i request a scenario where katsuki's s/o is in college then with all the due dates and requirements she can't visit him or smth? then suddenly he just appears in her campus and everyone's swooning over him like that, she feels so happy bc she misses him and all,,,,, thank you so much!! have a great day 💜
Awh this one is sweet of course I shall
“What do you mean you can’t come this weekend?!”
Wincing a bit at the loud voice on the other side of the phone you let out a sigh, guilt coursing through your body. You weren’t wincing because of your boyfriend’s aggressive manor, you were used to that. You were wincing because of the slight pain you heard in his voice, though you would never admit.
Every month or so you and your boyfriend would meet up for a weekend due to the long distance relationship you had been put in. While he was off working trying to build his brand as a hero, you had left for your dream school that happened to be two hours away.
Of course he would never step in the way of following your dream, he also refused to cut the relationship off for that matter. It had been decided you would both visit every month until you could graduate and move back with him.
The only problem was, these past couple of months you kept having to call off your meetings due to harsh due dates since you were nearing the end of the semester.
This was the fourth time you had to call your boyfriend and give the dreaded news that you couldn’t come, and it only kept getting harder and harder.
“I..I’m sorry Suki, I wish there was another way…” You said sadly through the phone, “I tried to convince my professor to move back the due date but with exams in less than four weeks, there was no way for him to push it back.”
Biting your lip you closed your eyes painfully as you only heard your boyfriend sigh in response, the sound itself holding every bit of pain he felt.
“I really am sorry Katsuki, I..I miss you so much…” You breathed out, a slight hiccup in your voice as you felt warm tears come to your eyes, “I would do just about anything to see you again.”
Hearing the hints of saddness in your tone Bakugou was quick to speak up, “Don’t think to hard about it shitty girl I understand, as long as you come over here after your exams.”
Perking your head up a bit you smiled, remembering you would be able to graduate just after exams, “Yes yes I will, I promise! I’ll spend everyday with you baby I promise!”
“Damn straight you will..” Bakugou replied, a soft smile on his face as he looked out the window of his suite, “Good luck with your exams babe.”
Smiling giddily at the change of moods you let yourself dance around your room before leaning against the wooden door to your dorm, “Thanks Suki, hey… I love you by the way!”
Blinking for a moment the ash blond remained silent, the last time he heard those words was the day you left for college just four years ago, every time those three golden words came from your lips it took his breath away.
“I love you too (S/o).” Bakugou said softly in the tone causing a surge of warmth to flow through your body before you hung up.
You couldn’t wait to see your Bakugou Katsuki soon.
Just a two weeks later you found yourself even more swamped with work. Don’t get it wrong, as much as you loved what you were doing, the study of design interesting you greatly, with so many due dates and assignments it was slowly making you envy the subject.
You tried your best to remind yourself it would be worth it in the end, but with the heavy work load it was growing harder and harder to stay focused.
Throwing on a pair of leggings and a random hoodie out of your closet you walked towards the mirror so you could do your hair.
Snatching your brush from the vanity you began to brush out your (h/c) locks before you slowly stopped, recognizing the orange and black hoodie to be your boyfriend’s hero merch.
Ever since he started his own brand for himself, his marketing team decided to get him all new merch inspired by his hero name, Ground Zero.
It was incredibly smart, the cups, shirts, hoodies, backpacks, anything you could think of were soon to be sold out for the season.
Luckily your boyfriend had sent you a ‘limited edition’ hoodie signed by Ground Zero himself which he made sure to cockily brag about until you threatened to sell it for big bucks.
Giggling to yourself when you remembered those warm moments you shared you let out a sigh, shoving your hair up into a messy bun before you looked at the trademark Ground Zero logo with a determined expression.
“I’m gonna see you soon Katsuki, hang in there..”
Bakugou already hated this place, and he had only taken roughly ten steps on the campus.
Everything about this university screamed you, the beautifully creative structure, the hundreds of students zooming around; not without offering a greeting or smile of course. Everyone here was so cheerful even though the aura of the school was clearly tense and stressed.
Shuffling his boots down the cobblestone path to look for any sort of directory, his body froze when he heard an all to familiar cry with those dreaded words he was doomed to hear everywhere he went.
“Is that Ground Zero?!”
Dread flowed through Bakugou’s body as the sound of footsteps scampering over to him came near, sounding like a stampede of animals in a zoo during lunch time.
“It’ll be worth it for (S/o)..” Bakugou grumbled under his breath, his sharp crimson eyes glaring up to the herd of students that surrounded him, cameras already out and ready to fire.
The ash blond should’ve known better than to come to the your campus without a disguise, the fact that he was wearing his hero uniform boots not helping the case either.
Bakugou had just been so excited to get here. After getting off the phone with you and remembering the pained tone of your voice, he couldn’t not come over here. You had one last week at this hell hole, and Bakugou would be damned if you ruined it over the massive stress you were carrying.
The young hero’s agency was far from pleased when they heard he would be under the radar for a full week, but they weren’t in any position to tell him no. At this point Bakugou ran that agency, they depended on him more than he did ever since his popularity boomed.
In less than a year he had been the first teenager to ever be in the top ten, proving to be the youngest successful pro hero in history.
Did this inflate his ego? Yes, yes it did. Did he care? Not a chance. And luckily he knew a certain (h/c) that loved his massively large ego.
The feeling of people grabbing his arms is what snapped him back to reality, his head whipping down to see multiple people shouting twenty different things at once.
“Can you sign this shirt for me?”
“Get a selfie with me Ground Zero!”
“Are you coming to this college permanently?”
“I don’t have a pen, can you just set a mini explosion off on my arm?”
Bakugou let out a growl of annoyance and a bit of disturbance at the strange demands he was receiving, didn’t these students have work to do or something?
Flicking his eyes up in hopes of seeing any sort of directory anywhere, he let out an annoyed sigh when there wasn’t anything in sight. Maybe these kids could be useful for something.
“I’ll sign all your shit later but I have a mission first,” Bakugou barked, effectively silencing the entire group as they awaited his word, “Any of you know where the hell the design wing is?”
Bakugou regretted his idea when an uproar of students began shouting out different answers, rubbing his head he let out another loud yell to silence them.
“Grape hair only, where is it.”
The tall boy in the front blinked for a moment when the pro hero pointed to him before quickly pointing over to the second building in the middle.
“Are you looking for someone?” A girl questioned from the back, causing Bakugou to look over to her direction.
“(L/n) (F/n).”
A few people in the crowd perked up at this, obviously recognizing your name.
“I know (L/n)!” A girl shouted, shoving her way to the front before pointing over to a stone pathway, “I saw her walk over there a few minutes ago with her laptop, I bet she’s finishing up her sketches for exams.”
Flicking his crimson eyes from the path to the girl he gave a curt nod of gratitude before shoving past the students, ignoring their obnoxious goodbye’s and pleads to come back soon.
--
As annoying as this place was, it sure was beautiful.
The stone path shortly had turned into gravel as he got deeper into the trail, the multiple sculptures he had passed beginning to disappear as the atmosphere began to look more botanical.
While he couldn’t help but admit the path was fairly neat, he was also growing fairly annoyed. He just wanted to see your beautiful face already so he could snatch you up in his arms and never let go.
Ducking over a short stone arch that was wrapped in a messy vine that contained pale blue flowers, the ash blond’s dream finally came true as he saw your rugged form laying down on a blanket in front of what looked to be a koi pond.
Just as he was about to walk over to you, he paused when he heard a sharp growl escape your lips. While it wasn’t a foreign sound to him, it certainly was a rare one.
“Come on brain think of something! What else can I add to this to make it different?” You cried, tugging at the loose strands of your hair that already seemed to be falling out of it’s place in your messy bun, “Why is my brain so.. so.. ahhhHhhh.”
Bakugou chuckled quietly to himself as your mini rant went onto a slurred new language of your letting out a mix of growling and groaning noises.
“You know I was pretty scared I wouldn’t be able to find you,” Bakugou spoke up, causing your head to jerk up before you whipped your head around to lock eyes with the ash blond, “But your annoying ass whining was pretty easy to follow.”
“Katsuki!”
Ignoring the harsh insult Bakugou through at you, your eyes lit up upon seeing your boyfriend, quickly stumbling up from your blanket and running towards him.
Bakugou stumbled back a bit from your sudden attack but was able to catch you eventually, lifting your form into his arms as he spun you around with the added momentum you gave him.
“W..What are you doing here?” You said breathlessly, your lips in the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.
Placing a rough kiss on your lips the ash blond plopped you back down on your feet while keeping his arms tight around your waist, “I knew you were probably stressing the fuck out on your last week of exams.. and by what I heard earlier I was correct per usual.”
Rolling your eyes at his cocky tone you placed another quick kiss on his lips before nodding for him to continue on.
“I couldn’t just let you bomb anything because you missed this pretty face so much, so I decided to stay down here for awhile.”
Letting out a few more giggles as the ash blond attacked your face with more quick kisses you squeezed your arms around his neck tightly before looking back up to him, “What about your hero agency? Aren’t they going to be mad that you’re missing a full week?”
Bakugou scoffed at your words, his crimson eyes cockily looking down to you as a smirk flashed across his lips, “Tch.. to hell with that shitty agency, they couldn’t fire me if they even wanted to. Honestly if I said I was leaving I would have all those fuckers on their hands and knees.”
Bursting into laughter you placed yet another kiss on his lips before running your fingers through his ash blond locks playfully, “That’s my cocky little shit.”
Grinning excitedly down to you, the ash blond lifted you back off your feet again causing your laughter to fill the air once more as he swung you around before stumbling backwards, his back falling against the smooth grass while you landed on top of him with a grin.
“Walk much?” You questioned cheekily, causing him to narrow his eyes as he stole a kiss from you most likely to shut you up.
Pulling away softly, you kept your face close to his own, both of your eyes locked on each other as each of your breaths collided with each other’s lips.
“I missed you so fucking much (S/o).” Bakugou muttered just loud enough for you to hear, his hands running down the small of your back.
Inhaling deeply you kept your fingers gliding through his hair as you looked down to him lovingly, “I did too Katsuki, more than you will ever know.”
After what seemed like forever of staring, the two of you shared one last final kiss. While any kiss with Bakugou would always be somewhat rough and demanding, this one held a certain passion and love with it.
A passion of two lovers deeply missing one another’s touch. You couldn’t begin to explain how wonderful your heart felt, as if every bit of stress had flown off your shoulders. The two of you could never be happier. 
Breaking away only because you ran out of air the two of you panted slightly, still looking at each other with joyful loving eyes. 
That is, until you felt a pair of wondering palms.
“You look sexy as fuck in these leggings by the way,” Bakugou said with a mischievous grin, his palms giving your cheeks a firm squeeze causing you to squeak slightly before his grin formed into a somewhat impressed smirk, “Somebody’s been working out, that ass is firm babe.”
Rolling your eyes you placed a warm kiss on his cheek before resting your head on his chest, “And there you go ruining the moment yet again.”
Opening his mouth to rebuttal, both of you came to silence when the all too familiar sound of stampeding feet were heard.
“W..What on earth is that?” You asked softly, sitting up from his chest as the sound grew louder and louder.
Bakugou let out a growl as he sat up, carefully holding onto you so you didn’t slide off of him, “Your fucking classmates, I forgot to disguise myself so they went fucking crazy..”
“And the news spread..” You finished with a gulp, sharing an annoyed yet fearful expression with your boyfriend before an idea popped in your head.
Scrambling off Bakugou’s lap you quickly grabbed your blanket and laptop before yanking the ash blond off his feet.
“The hell are we going?”
Looking back to Bakugou you smiled, grabbing his hand and yanking him down another unmarked trail, “I know this little secret trail back to the campus, that way we can sneak to my dorm hopefully un-noticed.”
Deciding to follow your lead, the ash blond ran side by side with you, taking your laptop and blanket so it would be easier for you to run while you lead him down the messy path.
Bakugou had only been with you for ten minutes and chaos already seemed to be unfolding, but much to his surprise he didn’t mind, quite frankly he actually liked it. It felt like the good old days when they were at UA, just goofing around and living in the light hearted chaos you both grew to love.
But if there was one thing Bakugou knew back at UA and sure as hell knew now, he never wanted to stop living in the chaos with you.
He wanted to rule this world of chaos with you by his side..
Forever and always.
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keyofjetwolf · 8 years ago
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Hey, Jet, what do you do when a character you loved does something that you find unforgivable that you just can't look past I loved Giles before he abandoned Buffy AFTER he found out she considered her post-resurrection life a literal hell. Bcs she was depending on him too much. WTF!? Buffy is so clearly depressed, even suicidal, and he's supporting her TOO MUCH? I've been suicidal and if my family had abandoned me like Giles did I would not be here today. (1/2)
Giles' betrayal was so awful that I can't even really enjoy the earlier episodes anymore because every time I see them act like comrades or friends or father-daughter I think, "This is a lie. You'll abandon her when she needs you most bcs she's not conforming to your idea of a stiff upper lip you sick, hypocritical fuck." And I hate it because I used to love Buffy and Giles and he isn't exactly a character you can avoid through careful episode selection. Any advice? (2/2)
That’s so so rough. Something like that can just destroy a character, and sometimes take the whole series with them. I didn’t personally experience that with Giles, but I completely get how it can happen. I can offer you two possible ways to look at. Maybe it’ll help! I hope it does. But realistically speaking, it may be that nothing will at this point. In the same way that loving a character can be a deeply personal thing, so too is hating them. Whether or not you can come to terms with what Giles did is entirely your call. It’s okay if you can’t.
And when I say “it’s okay if you can’t”, I don’t mean it doesn’t matter that your enjoyment has been ruined because of course it does. But it’s okay in the sense that you’re allowed to feel the way you do.
BUT YES OKAY SO GILES
Option One, if you’re willing or able to allow it to impact your viewpoint, focuses on the extra universe. Season Six is a shitstorm of terrible decisions. Every single character makes supremely bad choices, because S6 is all about life and misery. Giles isn’t excluded from that. His choices affect others more than himself, but that’s due in part to the fact that it involves him leaving.
Which brings us to the greater extra universe reason it happened: after five years, Tony Head was feeling the strain of working in Los Angeles and having family in England. He requested to be written out (while promising to come back for special appearances), and the creators accommodated him. They did it in a really shitty way that didn’t serve Giles at all (because they were going for the easy pain, not out of any vindictiveness, I feel), but ultimately they were trying to make it so Tony could be with his daughters and we could still have Giles. Maybe that will ease the sting for you a little, maybe it won’t, I don’t know.
Option Two focuses more on Giles’ character. I get that you’re angry with him, and deservedly so. But when Giles leaves, if you can step away from the emotion of the moment a little, I think it’s clear that he’s doing what he thinks is best. HE IS CATASTROPHICALLY INCORRECT DON’T GET ME WRONG. Everything you say about walking away from Buffy when she needs him most is true. But he BELIEVES he’s doing what she needs. It’s hard for her AND him, but he’s willing to do it, to take all her pain and anger, all his guilt and isolation, if it’ll help her stand on her own again.
We also have to consider that we know more about where Buffy’s at than Giles does. He gets a glimpse in “Once More, With Feeling”, as they all do, but it’s not until much later that even the people who live with her recognize how far she’s fallen. Hell, it’s not until toward the end of the season that Buffy even realizes how badly she’s doing.
In a perfect world, the people who love us most will always know the right thing to say and the right thing to do to make it all okay, but this is far from a perfect world. Sometimes their best is all anyone can do, and sometimes, sadly, that best is just nowhere near enough.
For me PERSONALLY, I fault Giles for not seeing enough and not thinking his decision through, but that’s about as far as I can take it. I don’t feel he was acting out of selfishness or cruelty, and I don’t feel he betrayed Buffy. He got it wrong, but his intentions were right. He was acting out of love for her, and -- for me, at any rate -- that goes a long way.
But like I said, it’s your call if you can forgive him or look past it. If none of this helps you (and you still really want to try), maybe consider why his actions have upset you so much. See if you can separate out an emotional response that you might be projecting on him or Buffy or the situation. Sometimes if that can be untangled, it can be easier to deal with something. But sometimes it ultimately doesn’t matter, and again, if you just can’t get past it, you’re entitled to feel however you feel.
I hope you manage to work it out.
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realtalk-princeton · 6 years ago
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My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 yrs. Very in love, friends and stepdad all like him. But my mom hates him! She has even bribed me to break up with him. He made a bad first impression and now every mistake, cancellation, etc reinforces this to her. He feels like he can't change her mind but I don't think he's put enough effort into trying. I still defend him to her when I think he's wrong. I feel so caught in the middle. It's ruining my relationship with my bf and my mom. Help!
Response from Evan Hansen:
I’m sure Opal will have a much woker response to this than I do, but I can think of a few things. I’m gonna make like a listicle so sorry if it’s seems a little stilted.
1) You need to be firm with your mom that while she doesn’t have to like him, you would appreciate it if she respected him and your decision to date him. I know a lot of parents are pretty conservative about this stuff (and willing to lay down the law if you still depend on them financially), but as long as he isn’t being abusive or something, she should prioritize your happiness, even if she isn’t a fan of the guy who brings it to you.
2) As an extension of the above – and while this might not apply to you – a lot of parents pull the whole “I’m paying for school so you’ll do what I say”. It’s cute and all, but very shortsighted. If she does that, make sure she knows that it will work in the short term but will destroy your relationship with her once you’re financially independent.
3) Get other members of your family who do like him on your side. Don’t gang up on your mom, but ask them if they’d be willing to talk her round a little. She might take other people’s opinions more authoritatively, because it’s likely she assumes you’re “blinded by love” or whatever.
4) Independent of asking her to respect your relationship, tell your mom how this actually makes you feel. Tell her that it makes you feel “caught in the middle.” It’s guilting her, but she *should* feel guilty if she’s putting you in that position.
5) Show to your boyfriend that you understand how frustrating it can be to get the cold shoulder from his girlfriend’s mom, but ask him not to give her any (more) ammunition. He doesn’t have to be nauseatingly nice to her, but get him to try just a little harder not to make himself look bad in front of her, just for your sake.
6) Unless it directly involves her, don’t share everything that happens between you guys with your mom, no matter how hard that might be (idk what your relationship with her is like). If something a little disappointing (but minor) happens, she doesn’t need to hear about it. It’ll just solidify her already negative opinion.
7) At the same time, *don’t* defend him to her when *you* think he’s wrong. That does nothing but strengthen her case that you refuse to see what’s in front of your face, and she’s the rational one who knows what’s really up. Admit when he makes a mistake, but if he and you have talked it out, tell her that – and show that you’re forgiving.
8) Accept that she might never actually like him, or it could take a long time – especially if you see this relationship as something very long term. My grandma straight up hated my mom for like 5-6 years after she and my dad married, literally because of some vague conspiracy theory that she “trapped” him by having me (yikes for me lol). But she learned that she at least needs to keep her shitty opinions to herself, and with age she seems to have come around somewhat. Be patient with your mom, but especially as you get older, *let her know* when she steps out of line. Presumably she wouldn’t like it if you interfered with her relationship, so make it clear that you don’t appreciate her interfering with yours.
Hope that helped! Good luck, and sorry you have to go through this crappy situation :/
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