#resenting the dependency required in someone else fighting (and very nearly dying) on her behalf | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thedragonagelesbian · 4 days ago

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@hexblooddruid yeah augh i love them so much........ maybe 2025 will be the year i finally finish the fic where they get together; the parts i've drafted so far have some of my favorite bits & pieces of cyrus writing, period, cyrus is so raw & vulnerable & tired & angry & scared, and it forces him to really reckon with what he wants/needs just as it forces varric to be sincere, direct, and apologetic in response, instead of hiding from his feelings like he has for years & sublimating them into his writing.

it's "After all, even before you became the Champion, you were always the hero, weren’t you?" “Don’t you see that that’s the problem?! I can’t always… I can’t…” and "Like either I��m the hero, or I… or I’m nothing.” “Oh… oh, shit, Kn- Cyrus, no,�� Varric said quickly. “That’s not it at all.” “You just said—” “Forget that!” and "you're you" you're you! you're you!!!!

#the place i've been stuck for like a year is the conversation with isabela after the duel #her regret & fear her sense that she's compromised such a foundational part of herself in coming back #resenting the dependency required in someone else fighting (and very nearly dying) on her behalf #while cyrus is again on death's door and has nothing but gratitude & pride & kindness and it's Just Too Much for her #but he takes her leaving again really hard :(#idk i think it's mostly hard to write bc the fic is from varric's pov so it's missing the interior perspectives #of the characters who actually matter in the conversation #and the point is that varric doesn't have much to offer by way of comfort at first bc the hype & idolization have worn so fucking thin #but at times it feels kind of. passive/boring.#idk.#ANYWAY.#cyrus hawke #cyrusXvarric

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