#reposting with dm caps cuz fuck it

[skold]

responding to this lj pm publicly bc i want to be completely transparent

the ONLY time i bring up a call out post about a former abuser of mine is when someone asks me about him. that’s IT. i do not periodically reblog it. i do not randomly send it to people i see interacting with him. i have reblogged it before when i had more to say or i needed to respond to something. the call out that me and my friend originally posted gained some steam going around twitter a couple months ago and i had NOTHING to do with that situation. i only heard about it because someone contacted me to tell me he had been inappropriate with them by allowing them as a minor into his 18+ discord.

it’s not my intention to make this dude’s life miserable by harping on some shit that happened a decade ago that he apparently doesn’t even remember because his depression was so severe at the time. which i’m willing to give the benefit of the doubt on cuz y’know, as a ptsd-haver (primarily from trauma unrelated to this) i have years of my memory that are basically lost, so. i believe him about that. but y’know. i’ve also never coped with depression and loss by having inappropriate relationships with minors so who knows. i changed my mind. i’m not gonna let this dude gaslight me when he’s been saying this whole time that either i lied about my age or he knew i was underage and immediately cut it off when it got inappropriate. so nah i am not gonna gaslight myself for him never mind fuck it even if he was depressed that ain’t an excuse.

and i’m not trying to bring this up over and over. because believe me, i don’t wanna fuckin talk about it unless i have to. i wanna move on just as bad as you want me to move on, dude. but alas since i’m the only person who is really willing to be open about this situation (which is fine cuz other people don’t want to take the heat and frankly i’ve been through worse trying to stand up for myself post-abuse so i’m willing to own this shit), i’m the one people come to when they have questions about the situation.

(as a side note: death threats are never fucking appropriate. harassment is NOT cool. i don’t condone anyone who’s attacking you directly. i’ve never incited anything like that personally. however, the mcr twitter fandom is huge, and i cannot control every person on the internet and that’s not on me so don’t try to blame me for others acting outta pocket. i don’t want people coming for you sideways like that in such an ugly way. i’d rather just see people block and move on.)

all this to say. i’m not trying to drag this person down constantly. i just want people to be aware and able to evaluate their friendships with the most information possible. and if people still wanna be friends with him then whatever. i’m not gonna go after anybody to try to sabotage anything this person has going for them. i have only ever provided the info/link when asked for it.

anyway. i believe that you’re sorry but i’m not ready to accept your apology. especially when it comes with so many caveats and underhanded comments.

PLEASE leave me alone now. don’t message me on anon. don’t email me. don’t send me lj messages. don’t have others contact me on your behalf. i’m trying to move on. let me.