#replicants can’t get pregnant

[cursoulla]

it’s the irony for me

[princessbrunette]

so i know i always say that rafe is strictly a girl dad. well, he is. but sometimes i like to humour myself with the universe where he’s the father to the sweetest little boy ever.

the universe would be ironic like that. rafe foolishly knocked you up when he was 22 — the boy still having alot to learn. he was still walking around with that pistol tucked into his waistband, fighting pogues, mouthing off and going on coke rants. you had been terrified, wondering what kind of a father rafe was going to be — even when he promised time and time again, “i’m — i’m getting my shit together alright? i can, hey — we can do this? okay?” with sweat gathered at his hairline and tears in his eyes. thus, when the universe decided to play the hilarious prank which was having the doctor tell you ‘its a boy!’, your first thought was ‘shit.’

because he was bound to be just like rafe, right?

you had seemingly prophetic visions, a spoiled little brat — just like his father was, thundering around in a brightly coloured ralph lauren polo from the baby range, demanding the teet when he saw fit. a girl would have been fine — you’d seen wheezie grow up around rafe and turn out totally fine (aside from the likely trauma.) but a boy? what did rafe cameron know about raising a boy? was your son next up to become a drug slinging, pogue hating, maniac? (with no offence to rafe of course, you were unfortunately very much in love with him but contrary to popular belief that did not disrupt your common sense.)

rafe was over the moon about you being pregnant with a boy too, which did little to comfort you.

the anxiety subsided the second that baby was out of you, his sticky, slimy little body placed onto your chest with rafe crowding your space — his bravado dropped for a second to reveal a childlike awe. his own baby. you could tell it was only now that things became very real for rafe. his eyes well up, covering his shaky grin with an even shakier hand, saying stuff like “shit, oh uh nah i probably shouldn’t cuss infront of the baby anymore right? yeah… my god, you did it baby. brought me my boy. should be so god damn proud.” he croons as his hands dig affectionately into your sore shoulders, smearing a kiss to your sweaty temple. “ahh, aha — what the hell kinda man am i cryin’ at this huh? shit.” he sniffles as he wipes his eyes but you’re not listening. you’re staring at your perfect boy.

he grows into something perfectly reminiscent of both you and rafe’s features, all whilst smushed into the cutest baby you’ve ever seen. you were aware every parent said that about their child, but no — you were certain. he was pampers commercial level cute. ‘top ten cutest babies’ buzzfeed article level cute. sarah would often hold him to her chest and something would be healed as she’d whisper “i can’t believe you came from my brother.” into his wispy hair. he was a true blessing.

with big doe eyes that took up half his face and an appearance that somehow replicated a baby lamb that had been turned into a human on the basis of a magical spell — you had long forgotten about your worries regarding having a boy.

a few years down the line and not much has changed. your baby boy is three years old, chubby fists clutching his empty plastic lightening mcqueen plate as he toddles out onto the porch where rafe sits spread out opposite barry, sipping on a can of beer in the early evening. your son is distracted by a decorative plant, and the two men pay him no mind as they continue talk.

“but — but that’s the thing, right, barry? i dont do that shit anymore and… and i sure as hell am not looking to start again.”

“man i get that rafe you a father now, all serious and shit but think about the money. you thinkin’ with your husband head and not with your cameron head. your daddy was a piece of shit but he had that business mindset that you gotta adopt, bro.”

rafe’s expression flattens, finishing his can before leaning forward onto his elbows. “well uh, newsflash — i don’t wanna be anything like my dad. now if we’re done here…” rafes attention is caught by the mini him waddling into view, holding his plate infront of him.

“more please?” comes the sweetest voice in the world, blinking up at the man he viewed as his entire universe, much like you at times.

“finished your icecream already huh? where’s your mom?” he cranes round, but doesn’t bother searching much further when he hears the padding of your footsteps.

“aye buddy, you know we was just talkin’ about you.” barry leans forward with a smarmy grin and your son gets shy, lifting his shoulders practically to his ears and looking down, glueing himself to rafes leg.

“conversations done, actually.” rafe reminds him, lifting the boy to sit on his hip as he hoists himself to stand. as he does so, you appear in the doorway to the patio— sundress clad belly swollen with another baby.

“rafe could you bring him in? it’s too hot out there for him without his hat.” you furrow your eyebrows, deciding to ignore barry’s presence all together, which of course doesn’t stop him from conversing.

“shit, i ain’t seen you in a while mama. he got you again? you two stay busy, huh?” rafes oldest ‘friend’ chuckles, gold tooth glinting in the sun light, and like your only child — you shy away, sending rafe a parting glance that said ‘just hurry up and rid of him.’

rafe adjusts the baby boy on his hip, now staring down at barry.

“talk to my girl again n’i’ll bring out the old me alright, you don’t want that. go do somethin’ barry, i don’t care what it is just get off my goddamn property yeah?” rafe drawls tiredly, crushing the can in his hand and dropping it carelessly into the wastebin beside barry before heading inside, your son turning to stare sweetly at the dark haired man over his dads shoulder, offering a sticky, wide fingered salute in parting.

atleast rafe was still his usual charming self, son or not.

[pomegranate-red]

After the Lights Go Out

Leon Kennedy x Reader

Warnings: hurt/no comfort, angst, reader is dead, depression, alcoholism, male masturbation, and suicide. Maybe Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.

A/N: If you’re struggling with your mental health, please reach out for professional health. Remember it is always darkest before dawn. MIDNI

Title from After the Lights Go Out by The Walker Brothers.

Leon was surprised he could even get hard anymore, with all the cheap alcohol he’s put in his body, not only should he be impotent, but also blind. Yet life always had new ways of surprising him. God he hated surprises, he didn’t always hate them but he did now that you were gone.

All he thinks of is of those moments when you’d surprise him coming home from a mission, you were just as corny as him. Red rose petals making a path towards the bed in which he rots now, some candles with a tasteful scent that he loved, he tried buying them when you were gone at first, but the scent makes him gag now. He finds his hand palming the annoyingly painful erection that throbs in his boxers. He disgusts himself.

She won’t say it, but he knows it, Claire is tired of his bullshit. She tried at first, god knows she tried, but a part of him died when you were gone, the part that prompted him to get out of bed every morning, wash his teeth, the part that helped him enjoy the few pleasures he could enjoy in life thanks to his line of work, he doesn't even shower now. You took that with you. He remembers the last time he saw you, god you were so beautiful, and just the thought of you makes his cock jump, he groans, he doesn’t know what he’s feeling, but… does he ever? He tries not to think of those last moments and of your smile.

He thinks of the times you’d have sex on the telephone, which was more often than he’d like, hearing you moan and whimper, probably the squelches of your cunt as your fingers digged as deep as they could, desperately pressing into your own g-spot, trying to replicate the pleasure he used to give you. To him every form of intimacy with you was heaven, your body his temple and your pussy his altar, he could’ve worshipped you for hours on end, and he’d never get tired of the taste, your moans, or the way you’d pull at his hair and beg for him to stop, out of overstimulation. “Come on baby, you can give me one more, can’t you?”

He’s not sure how, or when but he’s crying, it had been a few weeks since the las time he could cry, another surprise. He is full of self hatred, he thinks he always was, except this time it is painful just how much disgust he can feel towards himself. You would have been sad if you saw him, now he’s ashamed too, fantastic. But what was he to do? You were his sanity, you were his whole world, and you took all his light with you, all his dreams. He wanted to have a family, highly unlikely, since you both worked putting your lifes in danger for a government that pretended too give a fuck. Ah, the mere thought makes his tip drip precum and he groans at the thought of his wife all pregnant, round and swollen with his seed, he was getting desperate.

He whines, as he squeezes the base of his aching cock, he can’t help it, the image of your tits bouncing on his face comes to his mind and your name falls from his chapped lips in the same way his tears roll down his face, he doesn’t really notice when but he’s stroking. He thinks of the moans that would slip from your lips into his own and how he greedily looked for more, rutting into his fist the way he would rut into your pussy desperately, except his fist doesn’t suck him in the way your walls did. His balls contract and with a pathetic, strangled moan (or was it a sob?) he spills all over his abdomen and fist all the seed he should’ve shot inside you. He doesn’t even wipe himself, filthy as he is, he curls up on his bed, hugging your pillow, which no longer smelled like you, more like a mix of stale tears, cum, sweat and his own body odour, all traces of you gone. He throws it, he could rip his hair out. His phone rings, Chris, bless him, probably checking up on him, Leon ignores it, he curls up and cries.

He doesn’t know how many hours go by, but it looks late. He gets up and eyes your gun on your nightstand, he sighs and goes down to the kitchen, and fixes himself another drink, the whiskey’s cheap, and it burns. It’s not that he can’t afford any better, he just doesn’t drink to enjoy it, he downs the cheap whiskey and grimaces a little, the landline’s ringing, but again he ignores it. He thinks back to that one mission two months ago. He had a bad feeling, that maybe you shouldn’t have gone, and he told you, but you were headstrong, stubborn, and so you went anyway “it’s just an extraction” you’d said, yeah right. Things were going amazingly, almost no B.O.Ws, the few you did find, were dispatched swiftly. He loved how quick you were to put them out of their misery, “they were people once too, they deserve it…” you’d tell him often, you were a compassionate soul, he never would understand what a person like you was doing being an agent. You were almost done, you almost had him, but the terrorist had a shotgun and that shot was for Leon, if you hadn’t pushed him out the way, he would’ve died, but instead he just watched your head burst open, your brains covering his face. It was as if a switch flipped in his mind, and when he came to, his fists were bloody and a picasso would’ve looked more like a normal face than the man’s face, he must have smashed every bone in his face. But no amount of vengeance would bring you back, he had some of the remains of your brain in his hair and face.

He wants to puke, so he does, he throws up all over himself, he looks at his shirt, stained with cum and puke, and sighs. He downs another drink and then another, he goes back to his room, your room, 45 missed calls, Claire and Chris, but Leon can’t bring himself to care at all. He goes up to your nightstand and grabs your gun, it’s cold and heavy, he eyes it, you would keep it in pristine conditions, now it is dusty, he places the barrel in his mouth, he closes his eyes, he somehow likes imagining it is you who threatens him. He loves you so damn much he wouldn’t even try to persuade you, he’d close his eyes and let you decide if his brains stayed in or out.

He takes the gun out of his mouth and sits on the bed, his back to the headboard, his phone rings again and in an impulse he shoots it. He sits there in silence after the loud shot, and sighs, what the fucking hell, he cocks the gun again and places it in his mouth again, going as deep as he can without gagging, had he been in another situation he’d make a joke, but you’d taken his humour with you. In those moments he wonders if he’d go to heaven with you, because there’s no way you’d be anywhere else, his angel. He wonders if he deserves heaven, and he knows he doesn’t, but maybe god would let him be with you.

Those are the last thoughts going through his head before he pulls the trigger, leaving a mess on the wall for Chris and Claire to find the next day.

[weirdo09]

i’ve lost all fucking hope for this fandom WHY ARE YALL SHIPPIN MILES N THE SPOT ?!?! THE ONE WHO LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED N MADE HIM ‘one’ WITH MILES JUST BECAUSE HE CALLED HIM VILLAIN OF THE WEEK? THAT MAN IS LIKE 40+ WHILE MILES IS 15 😭😭 THE SPOT IS LIKE RIOS AGE, YALL PEDOS NEEDA GET THE FUCK OFF THE INTERNET N AO3

THIS IS DISGUSTING, NOBODY WANTS TO SEE MILES AT 15 BEING DESCRIBED AS BEING FUCKED AGGRESSIVELY TO THE POINT WHERE HIS DOWN THERE BLEEDS IN THE FUCKING TAGS. Y’ALL JUST DISGUST ME, WHY DO YALL THINKT HAT SHTINSI OK. GODDAMNIT PEOPLE CANT HAVE SHIT WITHOUT YALL WRITING FICS BOUT MILES BEIN GROOMED AND FUCKED AT 15!1!1!1!1! WITH MEN x2 HIS AGE AND CALLING IT OK BECAUSE HE’S AGED UP ‘sometimes’

I’m literally gate keeping miles at the point, send me anon hate all you want. i’m not gonna sit there and let y’all treat miles like a fucking sex slave for miguel. y’all are literally treating mikes like a slave, a fucking slave to breed and beaten by miguel. doesn’t that bother you? that y’all are literally tryna write things that replicate slavery itself? AINT NO FUCKING WAY THAT YALL ARE WRITING MILES GETTING RAPED ALL FOR YALL TO ACT LIKE “oh he liked it and he’s pregnant btw !!!”

god y’all just disgust me. y’all treat miles n hobie like SEX SLAVES it’s sickening. y’all will say that it’s not racist nor pedophilic nor grooming nor perpetuating slavery time ideals BUT FUCKING LOOK AT LIKE ONE FLOWERFANG FIC ON AO3 N IT HAS FUCKING RAPE N UNDERAGE SEX N IT AND GOT 100+ KUDOS ?!?!

there’s pedophiles right under y’all’s fucking noses and y’all ain’t doing shit. i’m so disappointed that i can’t find a single fandom that doesn’t make rape fics about the underage main character and having them groomed just to say that it’s ok because they don’t support this stuff in real life…

just ew

reblog this to spread awareness please, i’m tired of this

[kiszka-jake]

Road Not Taken: Chapter 3

Jake’s POV- October 2023

I tightened my grip on the steering wheel and shifted my eyes to glance at Katie in the passenger seat. She had her window down and the crisp fall air was blowing her hair around. She was squinting in the sun with a small smile on her face. I wonder if she was thinking of all the times we drove around like this. She felt my eyes on her and looked over at me with her smile still in place. 

“I can’t believe you invited yourself to lunch, and convinced me to ride with you.” 

I felt the buzz I always used to get around her slowly creeping back in as I responded, “I just figured you probably missed hanging out with me.”

She shook her head and turned to look out the window at all the places we grew up going to. Every time I’ve been back to this town in the last 5 years, I’ve thought of her. There’s not one place we didn’t go to or have a memory in. Her ghost is always waiting for me around every corner. Part of the reason I avoid coming back here. 

I cleared my throat and hesitated before I spoke up again, “You know, I got the idea for that line in Flower Power on one of our car rides like this.” She kept looking out the window and ignored me,“The star shines in her eyes line.” I stammered. 

I saw the pink flush she always hated creeping up her cheeks. 

“I always liked that line” she mumbled while avoiding my gaze. We pulled into the parking lot and she quickly hopped out of the car to avoid any more conversation with me. I sat silently in the restaurant and enjoyed the familiar presence of the four of us again. She has a genuine and natural way of interacting with my brothers that I’ve never been able to replicate with any other girl. I can never tell who’s just using me and sometimes I’m okay with that. Other times, it leaves me longing for something real. 

“We should order the stuffed mushrooms to start. Weren’t those always your favorite?” Sam asked Katie. 

She scrunched her freckled nose and shook her head. “I wish. I used to love them, but I haven’t been able to stomach them since I got sick after having them when I was pregnant.” 

Josh and Sam already moved on from her comment and were back to flipping through the menu. I couldn’t move past it. 

“How did you decide to keep it?” I asked her.

Her head shot up from her menu as she looked at me with a confused look. 

“Lyla. How did you decide you wanted to keep her.”

Josh kicked me under the table, but I ignored him.

“Hey, listen you don’t have to answer him. He shouldn’t have asked that.” Josh interjected while glaring at me. 

She waved her hand to brush him off and locked eyes with me. 

“It’s okay. I guess we don’t really know each other anymore,so it’s normal to have questions.” Her fingers traced the edge of her menu while she kept her eyes on mine, “I don’t really know honestly. It just felt right.” 

I blinked to get a moment of relief from her piercing green eyes that could always tell what I was thinking. 

“Even though you knew you’d have to do it alone?” 

“Yes. I knew I could do it.” Her face was hard and her voice steady. 

We stared at each other in silence as I took in her words. I knew I shouldn’t say my next thought, but it came tumbling out of my mouth before I could stop it.

“Well, it seems like a dumb decision since you didn’t graduate from Harvard. That was your dream. That’s all you cared about.” 

Josh kicked me even harder under the table as her eyes started to well up with tears. She fought them off as she answered me.

“I’ve never regretted Lyla for one second. She’s amazing and special in so many ways that you’ll never understand.” She said it quickly while pushing her chair back from the table and walked quickly to the restroom. 

I watched her go until the door closed, and turned to find Josh and Sam both staring at me with stunned expressions. 

“Are you trying to make her hate you again? I think it’s working.” Sam said with an eye roll as he flagged down our waiter. 

Katie’s POV- October 2023

My hands were gripping the edge of the porcelain sink as I stared at myself in the dirty  mirror. I don’t know why I thought I could handle hanging out with Jake again. Or any of them. It was insane to think I could talk freely about our daughter with him. Our daughter. She’s his too. My fingers wrapped around the sink even tighter at the thought. Sam and Josh are her uncles. They’re the family I know she longs for even if she cant articulate it yet. 

I pulled my phone out and stared at the Lock Screen. It’s a selfie she took of us at the park last week. I looked at her perfect heart shaped face and saw the entire Kiszka family in it. Her big smile that looks just like Jake’s. Her perfectly pink lips that look just like Josh’s. Her brown eyes that are shaped exactly like Sam’s. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I stared at the picture. She’s half me too. Everything she knows is what I taught her. Her loud and wild spirit, her kindness. It all comes from me. 

I slid the phone back in my pocket and took one last look in the mirror while giving myself a fake smile. I walked back to the table with the tiniest amount of pride left and immediately started talking to Josh about his life to change the subject. He was waving his hands around and happily explaining to me how they play arenas now and people come from all over to see them. I was nodding along to his story, but my eyes still slid over to look at Jake. 

He had his hand on Josh’s shoulder and was agreeing with whatever he said. He was even more beautiful than he used to be. His hair was just a little longer, his jaw a little more angular. Josh said something that suddenly made him burst out laughing and flash his signature smile with all his teeth showing. I felt my breath catch as I pictured Lyla again. 

They spent the rest of the lunch telling me stories of all their adventures and accomplishments. Every story left me with a sense of awe that the boys I grew up with could do all of that. When it was time to go, Jake finally spoke to me again.

“Do you want me to take you back to your parents?” His tone was cautious and filled with a hint of apology for what he said earlier. We didn’t need to discuss it again. We can just add it to the list of things we’re both sorry for. 

I glanced at Josh and Sam who were walking just a little bit ahead of us on the cracked parking lot pavement. He followed my gaze and spoke again. “Or you can ride with them.” 

I wanted to tell him no and run after his brothers, but my brain couldn’t catch up with my mouth. 

“No, you can take me.”

He smiled a little to himself as we walked to his black Jeep. He turned the radio up on our favorite rock station and I felt myself relax as he curved around the backroads. If I closed my eyes, I could almost pretend we were still high schoolers and not two adults running from our past. 

He pulled up in front of my house to my dad  kicking around a soccer ball with Lyla. I grabbed the door handle to jump out and say my final goodbye to him for the next ten years, but suddenly he was opening his door too.

“Uh what are you doing.” I asked.

He smirked at me and continued to get out of the car. 

“Well, you ignored me yesterday so I didn’t get to really hang out with the miniature version of you.” 

I could feel my heart beating faster as I hurried around to the front of the jeep to intercept him. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this possibility when I agreed to the ride. 

“It’s okay really. You don’t have to pretend to be interested in my life still.” 

I think I almost had him convinced, but my dad chose that exact moment to wave and yell his name. 

He smiled and waved back and excitedly slammed his door. He walked closer to me and grabbed my hand to drag me along. 

“Well, I can’t ignore your dad.” He said with an incredulous tone. 

Jake’s POV- October 2023

I can’t believe I just grabbed her hand. My pulse is racing, but it’s like no time has passed at all. Her hand naturally relaxed in mine as she lagged a couple steps behind me. Lyla was bouncing up and down and ran over to her when we got closer. She dropped my hand to scoop her up in a hug. Why am I disappointed that she dropped my hand? 

“You gave me the doggy.” Lyla said in that squeaky voice all little kids have. 

I shoved my hands in my pockets to erase the empty feeling they had. 

“Yep, I sure did.” 

She wiggled out of Katie’s arms and came to stand in front of me. She really did look just like Katie up close. They have the same heart shaped face,same brown hair with golden flecks in the sun. The only indication that someone else was involved in creating her is her brown eyes. She put her hand on her hips and looked up at me just like Katie used to when I annoyed her. 

“How do you know my mommy?” 

I bent down to her level and stuck out of my hand. 

“I’m Jake. I’m your mommy’s friend. We met when we were your age.” 

She giggled and grabbed my hand, but quickly frowned at the roughness. 

“I play a lot of guitar.” I said as an explanation.

Her tiny face broke out in a huge smile as she whipped her brown curls around to face Katie. 

“Maybe he knows my daddy!” She shouted while bouncing on the tips of her pink converse. 

She whipped back around to face me, “Mommy always says my daddy is going to teach me how to play guitar.” 

I smiled at her and glanced up at Katie. “Wow, you just replaced me with another musician?” 

Her cheeks had their familiar pink flush as she stuck her hand out towards Lyla. Lyla slipped her hand into hers as they started to walk up towards the two story brick house. Lyla turned to wave at me as Katie finally spoke. “Hes a better player than you.” 

Damn, it’s still hot when she fucks with me. 

I watched them walk inside, oblivious to the fact that her dad was still there. 

“I’m glad you guys are hanging out again,” He said as he clamped his hand on my shoulder. 

I felt myself tense up on reflex like I was still in high school and he was giving me the curfew.

“It’s more like I forced myself into hanging out with her.” I replied as I slipped my sunglasses back on and reached into my pocket for the car keys. I raised my hand in a mock salute and turned towards the jeep when he interjected.

“I hate to ask this…” 

I paused and turned back around the face him. He looked a little embarrassed and I got a sick satisfaction out of having something he seemingly wants. 

“Lyla, really wants to know how to play guitar.” He shrugged his shoulders and sighed when he said it. “We still have one of your old guitars in the basement. I was thinking maybe you could show her a couple things.” 

A slow smile broke out across my face as I realized this would get me more time with Katie. I would never say no to him, but maybe I can get a little more information to use to my advantage first.

“Her dad doesn’t want to teach her?” I posed the question and studied his face for the answer. His face flashed with disappointment and a hint of anger. 

“She’s never met her dad.” He replied. “Katie said they just had a class together and in the end he didn’t want a baby.” 

“Yeah that’s what Kate told us, but I figured he had at least met her.” I said. 

He shook his head and gave me a sad look. 

I shoved the car keys back in my jeans pocket and started walking up the grass to the house. 

“I never really liked any of those Harvard douche bags anyways.” I said with a smirk as I passed him.

I felt a piece of the same anger that he had. Katie was my girlfriend for years, but she was my best friend first. She didn’t deserve to be treated like shit and I feel like I have the right to be defensive on her behalf still. She would probably disagree and say she can take care of herself. 

I turned the door knob and entered the familiar living room. The bright white walls, the faded green couch, the dark wood floors. The sound of my boots were muffled by the worn rug as I rounded the corner to the basement steps. I made my way down and turned the light on to illuminate our old hang out spot. Everything looked frozen in time and my old guitar was still on the stand in the corner. 

I wrapped my hand around the neck and headed back upstairs. I could hear Katie’s laugh coming from her bedroom. Why does being back in her house and hearing her laugh fill me with anxiety? I can play to 20,000 people and be less nervous. I tightened my grip on the guitar and felt myself relax a little. 

They were on the floor playing with Barbie’s when I entered the doorway. Lyla looked up from her half dressed doll and smiled while Katie gave me a confused look. Her gaze stopped on the guitar on my hand as she opened her mouth.

“Uh did you come to give us a private concert…?” She asked.

I ignored her question as my eyes wandered the room. The same purple walls and matching bedspread. The first Greta Van Fleet poster Josh ever drew was still taped on her closet door next to pictures of us at the lake. The memories of us growing up together are all immortalized in this room. 

I cleared my throat and looked back at her on the floor where she was waiting for my response.  Odds of her telling me to leave were pretty high, so I decided to hedge my bets and talk to Lyla. She can’t tell me to leave once she’s excited. 

“Your grandpa told me you wanted to learn guitar.” I said to her as I slid down on the floor next to them. Her face immediately lit up and she started squealing in excitement.

I chuckled a little as I took in her response.”I guess that would be a yes.” I said as I started tuning the guitar. Katie gave me a disapproving look. I raised my hands in mock surrender and she sighed and busied herself the dolls scattered on the floor. 

“Alright,” I said as I finished tuning. “This is a little big for you, but you can still learn the basics.” I flipped the guitar around and placed it on Lyla’s lap. Her face peered over the top as she tried to unsuccessfully wrap her fingers around the neck. 

Her brown eyes were staring at me and I saw the question forming before she opened her mouth.

“How do I know you can play guitar?” She asked with a concerned look on her face. 

Katie tried to stifle a laugh as I looked at her with a stunned expression. I took the guitar back from Lyla and started absentmindedly strumming chords. 

“I didn’t know 4 year olds spoke in fully formed sentences.” I said to Katie. 

“I’m almost 5.” Lyla quickly said with a hint of attitude. 

“She started talking on her 1st birthday and hasn’t stopped since.” Katie replied as she tugged on one of Lyla’s curls and looked at her proudly. Lyla nodded along in agreement and said “My teacher always tells me I’m smart.”

I shook my head and smiled at her as I kept strumming the guitar. Playing makes me relaxed and seeing Katie with Lyla is somehow making me want her more. “That makes sense considering your mom is a genius.” I said while locking eyes with Katie. She flashed me a polite smile and leaned back against the bed behind her. 

“To answer your question,” I began again as I looked back at Lyla,” I learned to play guitar when I was your age and I’m in a band.” I jerked my chin towards to poster on the wall. “That band actually.” She whipped her head around to look at the poster and then back at me. She shrugged her shoulders and seemed to be satisfied with my answer. 

I placed the guitar back on her lap and placed her glitter painted fingers on the frets. “So now you just take your other hand and go like this.” I said as I ran her hand down the strings. She beamed at Katie as the sound of the chord filled the room. 

“I did it mommy!” She exclaimed as she strummed up and down again. I sat back and took in her excitement. I glanced over at Katie to see she had her phone out recording her. I leaned back into the frame and faced the camera, “And that was the Jake Kiszka guitar tutorial.” I said as I pointed at the camera.

Katie let out a laugh as she lowered the phone. The first real laugh I’d earned from her in years. Lyla was busy plucking different strings when Katie scooted over and put her arm around my neck in a half hug. 

“Thank you.” She said quietly as she pulled back from me and started playing with Lyla. My body was still tingling from her touch as I watched the flush creeping up her cheeks. 

“Mommy?” Lyla suddenly said ending our moment. “Can Jake come to my birthday party tomorrow?” 

Katie seemed to snap back to her reality of hating me as she struggled to find an excuse. 

I pushed up off the grey carpet and turned to head towards the door.

“I have to leave to go to see some family now, but tomorrow I’m all yours.” I said. Lyla smiled happily and jumped up to hug me. I patted the top of her head, not really sure how to interact with kids. “It’s a date.” I said with a wink to Katie as I backed out her room towards the steps. 

Katie’s POV- October 2023

“Okay Lyla, we’re ready for the reveal!” Grace yelled into the hallway. I could hear Lyla’s giggle as she started to push the door open.

“Tada!” She yelled as she threw her arms up and posed. My mom took her shopping and let her pick out a special birthday outfit. She twirled around in a pink glittery dress, rainbow glitter converse and a princess tiara. 

I knelt down and pulled her into a hug and rocked her back and forth. “You look absolutely beautiful, Ly,” I pulled back and held her out at arms length. “You definitely look like a five year old now.” 

She was giddy with the thought of the cake and presents that would be coming her way today. She gave me her big smile as she started to turn away. “I’m gonna go show grandpa!” She yelled as she ran down the steps. 

“That was such a Josh way to pose.” Grace said as she flipped back on my childhood bed. I laid next to her and we stared at the ceiling in silence. 

“God, they’re all in every part of her.” I whispered  to Grace as I watched the ceiling fan spin. Her long blonde hair splayed out around her as she turned her head to look at me. 

“And every part of you raised her.” She said as she reached for my hand to squeeze it. 

•••••••••••••

Lyla skipped ahead through the glass doors and we were sucked into the commotion of the bowling alley. I had my fifth birthday party here, so it was fitting for Lyla to do the same. She was being greeted by all of family members that came to celebrate her when he walked in. 

He smiled and waved at me as he made his way over to our lane. He was dressed way too cool for a 5th birthday party in Michigan. He had on dark jeans, a navy button down that was only half done, scuffed black boots, an excessive amount of necklaces and dark sunglasses that probably made it look like it was midnight inside. 

“This is definitely the best party I’ve been to all year.” He said when he reached me. 

I sank down into one the plastic chairs and rolled my eyes in response. “Yes, I’m sure all the Hollywood parties are very lame.” I said. 

He pulled out the chair next to me and looked around at the other tables filled with my family members. If any of them noticed his presence, they didn’t acknowledge it. It actually seemed like they were actively avoiding coming over to us. Probably my dad stopping everyone so we could talk. He couldn’t stop going on about how great Jake is last night. 

“I hate LA,” He said while pulling an envelope out of his pocket, “and this is for Lyla.” 

I took the envelope out of his hand and lifted the flap to look inside. It contained a glittery princess birthday card and $500. 

I looked at him with a stunned expression, but couldn’t read his with the sunglasses still on.

“Ok, first of all you need to take off the sunglasses. We’re in Frakenmuth.” I said with a hint of disbelief. 

A smile was playing on his perfect lips as he reached up to remove them and shove them in his shirt pocket. “So what’s the second thing?” He asked.

I held up the card as an explanation. He blinked and started speaking slowly. 

“Does she not like princesses? I just assumed…” he said as his voice trailed off. 

I rolled my eyes at his attempt to play dumb. “Who gives a five year old five hundred dollars, Jake?” 

A laugh escaped his lips as he took the card back from me and opened it. He grabbed 4 of the bills and handed it back to me with one left inside.

“I figured I’d give her a hundred bucks for every year, but you can just give her this then.” He said as an explanation. 

I can’t tell if he’s trying to show off how rich he is now or if he’s just that oblivious. He fiddled with the bracelet on his wrist and I watched the muscles in his hand twitch as we sat in silence. Lyla was rolling a bowling bowl down the lane with my grandpa when he spoke up.

“Listen, I really just came here to ask you to come to our show tomorrow,” his jaw was tense and he was looking at me intently to study my reaction to his words, “it’s in Detroit. I have to rehearse in the morning, but we can hang out tomorrow before the show.”

I immediately start shaking my head no and opened my mouth to reject him. “Jake. We can’t“

He had a pleading look on his face as he cut me off, “Please don’t say no. The guys miss you, and it would be fun.” 

I shook my head again and looked over at Lyla to avoid his gaze. “We can’t just hang out and pretend again. I’m sorry Jake.”

I felt his hand on my arm and I shifted my eyes to look at his beautiful face that was practically begging me to say yes. 

“Are you waiting for me to say sorry still? If I do that, will you come?” His question came out as a whisper that I barely heard above the noise of pins falling.

I moved my arm over so his fingers fell to the table. “I think you should just go. Thank you for the card. I’ll tell Lyla you said bye.” I said it quickly to get it all out before I changed my mind. He tapped his ring on the metal table and scooted the chair back. I kept my eyes forward, but still felt him standing over me. He paused for a moment a like he was going to say something else before he finally turned and walked away. 

••••••

Chapter 4 goes CRAZY. Trust.

tag: @fleetingjake @hollyco @sammysstolenbirks

[merakiui]

Any thoughts of having a FWB with Jade??

I feel like he would be curious to explore his human body more since it's quite different from his Merform

also, he's low-key, probably interested in the female human body, and who better to ask for help than the magicless only girl in NRC 👀

It’s a guarantee that fooling around in a fwb relationship with Jade will end with a pregnancy. >:) even he can be impulsive like Floyd when it’s regarding something he truly wants.

The feelings aren’t mutual (yet), so Jade makes it his mission to get you to love him. He might become a little more particular than he already is. He makes sure his hair is brushed and styled perfectly. He makes sure his side of the room always smells and looks pretty. He makes sure he says and does everything you like to hear and see. He tries to become your ideal partner in the bedroom, doing everything that’s suited to your tastes even if he has to forego his own pleasure. Normally, Jade wouldn’t go to these lengths if he didn’t want to. He never does anything he doesn’t want to do, so he really is devoted to ensuring you’re his partner for the long-term. He could cheat and use magic, slip small doses of love potion into your meals or drinks, but he wants to play fair this time. He does want a genuine relationship, after all. Loveless sex is fun, but he wants to be able to tell you he sincerely loves you without having to fret over the annoying barrier that is friendship.

Jade is so charming. Even when the both of you aren’t having sex or experimenting with mer and human anatomy, he’s so alluring and, oddly enough, cute. Sometimes Jade slips up (though sometimes it might be intentional) and you’ll see the real Jade behind the veneer he’s crafted for your sake. The real Jade gets excited over little things: his plants and mushrooms finally sprouting in the botanical gardens or a new recipe he’s learned recently and has been trying so hard to replicate. This Jade is very refreshing to be around because he’s so authentic, if only for a moment. Somehow he’s never considered that his real self could be lovable. You manage to surprise him when you comment on how cute he is when he’s so focused on cooking that new recipe or when his eyes light up while he’s tending to his fungi. Jade Leech, cute? That’s unheard of, so much so that shock briefly flickers on his face and his cheeks flare pink. To think it was possible to surprise and fluster Jade. Oh, the things you do to him…

He’s always so diligent when it comes to sex. He makes sure to wear protection, even if he has to stifle all thoughts of you waddling around campus with your pregnant belly. He has to be responsible because that’s what he’s been seen as for so long now: the responsible one. The one who is polite and respectful. The one who could do no wrong. The one who cleans up messes rather than making them. But there’s always the urge to sabotage all forms of contraception and knock you up so that you’ll finally be more than friends…

One day he will. That’s a promise. Until then, he has to make sure you’re properly in love with him so that when you do mysteriously fall pregnant you won’t be so averse to a forever relationship with him. It’s impossible to have a no-strings-attached fwb relationship with Jade because the moment you agreed to fool around with him he’s already attached his own secret strings to you. And these can’t be cut so easily.

[therealslimshakespeare]

Is there any chance of a naughty sleepover with Ken Lemmons? Enquiring minds would love to know.

Oh how I labored over this. Not because I don’t love Kenny, I adore him in fact but in many ways I’m realizing I’ve got a significant hurdle to surmount: he’s too good for me so I rarely think of him this way. He’s not possessing the full brotherly vibes of Demarco, but he is another class of his own. I admire him too much to fully lust. Also he is baby.

However, he’s also a grease covered badass so, before I go and baby girlify him too hard, let’s take a crack at this, best of my ability and with the kind help of my babe @faegoddessog

Cock-versations || Sgt. Ken Lemmons edition 🛠

nsfw (AF!!) below the cut:

What’s this cherubic lookin��� man packing?: my vote is the most velvety soft cock, average length, average girth, lovely altogether AND he definitely curves to the left which will rub you mad, has a verrrrry large sack sporting a pronounced seam up the middle and is oddly hairless (great for tea bagging, cough cough) and his curlies, well, such as they are -they’re extra curly. DUH

A note on the wielder of the weapon: he’s nineteen, ok? Very young and green, is still quite enamoured with the act but his enthusiasm is well earned. BIG GIVER ENERGY! This is good as you two totally took each other’s virginity, and due to his adoration, patience and adept skills for tuning up any motor, you’re gonna have the most enjoyable virginity loss like, ever. 10/10 recommend. You will be so ready for him it doesn’t even hurt and it’s a blissful first thirty seconds as his angelic light shines real bright inside you. Uhem .

Other virtues: what those hands do?! He is pretty much happy and giddy to get you off anyway you ask, it brings him most satisfaction to bring you to bliss, he’s playful and he’s resourceful, his fingers are ten times better than most men’s cocks. You’ve see his attitude about everyone’s successes? Translates beautifully in bed.

Extra curriculars: THIS MAN WANTS TO PUT A BABY IN YOU HARD! I can’t explain it, maybe it’s the Arkansas coming through, his fatherly ways with his little English friends, or the way he just looks like his return would be potent, either way, ten months after he’s home you’re gonna be pushing out twins, I don’t make the rules . First set of twins, i should specify, another follows at some point.

The kids look so much like him you’re more than happy to keep replicating, he gets their little baby footprints tattooed on his shoulder, and spends every night of your pregnancy laying on his belly next to you on the couch talking to your belly. Reading Popular Mechanics to the babes and educating them on the merits of diesel vs gasoline.

He’ll then lean over and kiss your belly and whisper "sleep tight babies" (cuz HE knows there's two in there, even if you and the doctors don't) then he'll look up at you and say "It's mommy and Daddy time" before he rises to kiss you. Lots of pregnant cock warming on the front porch swing, simple but pretty new dresses spread out as a surprise on your bed and the proudest husband over everything you do. “My beautiful wife” -you’ve never heard him introduce you as anything but.

[theshadowrealmitself]

Thinking about the post I made about an omega getting transported to a universe without the a/b/o dynamics (unfortunately can’t reblog that original post with this addition cause both posts are gonna be scheduled) and I think a situation like that would really help give me what I want out of omegaverse

What I really want out of omegaverse is all the world building stuff, how a society and its people would function in that situation, but most of the time it’s a reimagining of intense misogyny, which is not my cup of tea

But I think a situation where a person goes from a society like that (without the omega hate) to a society where a/b/o isn’t a thing, would really highlight how different things would be

Technically the omegaverse society is different depending on the author, so I’m making up my own version, and adding in aliens:

Heats and ruts can cause health problems, the stress it puts on your body every month can lead to a ton of issues down the road, and honestly you just don’t wanna have your life be disrupted that much, so going on suppressants is common, especially for people who are single

But going off of suppressants can be deadly, and sometimes your suppressants can start being less effective as time goes on, so calling out of whatever to make sure you can go to the doctors and have that all figured out is not only normalized but also encouraged

(But now you’re suddenly in a universe where Humans don’t go through all that and you’re running out of suppressants and you’re just hoping the scientists, Vulcan ones who are strangely extremely interested in your heat suppressants and keep asking you about rut suppressants?, can quickly figure out how to make more)

Depending on the situation, scent blockers can be used (mostly in the maternity ward, so the medical staff don’t accidentally get their scent on the kids and accidentally cause the parents to instinctively think they’re trying to take away their kids), but it’s more of a personal preference

Alphas, omegas, and even betas can scent mark things, but alpha scents are usually just more noticeable because they tend to be more territorial and aggressive, doesn’t mean that omegas and betas aren’t scent marking things for the same reason, so just because you can’t smell an alpha around, doesn’t mean you aren’t encroaching on someone’s space, you can also tell people’s emotions from their scent

(You hate that in this new universe, no one can smell that you claimed stuff and you have to remember to verbalize it, you also hate that the only ones who can smell you are aliens who have to be weird about it because they aren’t used to Humans smelling like that)

I can never think of anything cool for betas and I hate that it’s usually just like ���betas are usually just how Humans are irl”, so what, they don’t have cis guys that can get pregnant and cis women who can sire kids? boring! but I can’t think of anything fun for them!

Claiming bites are a thing, but mostly a thing of the past, still, you never touch go near an omega’s through without explicit consent

(If another fucker tries to go near your neck again you’re losing it at them >:/)

Nests are a big thing, even outside of heats, and kids, and stuff, it’s just really beneficial to an omega to have a safe, soft, place they have complete control over, their instincts demand it

(Apparently nesting isn’t a normal fucking thing for Humans in this universe?? you can’t find the round mattress with the round frame that has a headboard that goes around a majority of the bed to kinda cocoon you anywhere, that’s like, the most basic thing you’d used to find in stores, and now you keep having to find specialty shops that cater to extraterrestrials to find anything remotely similar, or figure out how to replicate it yourself, this is so frustrating!!! you’re gonna be so much more frustrated when you try to find the other supplies needed for nesting)

Instead of heats and ruts being quick things, there’s still a lot of time and clarity before it hits them, so like, let’s say if it’s a default alpha/omega, the omega will obsess over their nest and get it just right while the alpha get their scent on everything else in the room to let everyone else know to fuck off (if it’s any other pairing, then whoever feels the most comfortable fighting if a trespasser comes by, [even though that almost never happens, but there’s always that instinctual worry that if will happen] is the one who gets their scent on everything else and makes sure the room they’re in is secure)

(I love the idea of this omega getting a temporary Vulcan partner because their heat came on quickly, and Vulcans understand their predicament, so the omega is stressing over their nest while the Vulcan is walking around, methodically trying to scent everything because they know that also serves to make the other person not scenting feel secure in that scenario, and then, because I feel like Vulcans are a little bit of control freaks (lovingly) the Vulcan goes over to fuss with the nest as well and the omega is strangely content with that)

That’s what I have for now, may add stuff later

[aconflagrationofmyown]

Are any of Sarge and Elaine’s kids as beloved in the nation as Elvis was during his time? Do any of them particularly want to be in the spotlight, now we know Marie is a famous photographer and Daisy is an entertainer. I just think that the nationwide love Elvis brought out should be replicated in one (or more) of his kids because his impact is truly amazing.

2nd question, during the divorce Elaine gets pregnant? What’s the public backlash for that? Can’t even imagine them being kind to her.

Ooooh, how fun is this ask?! 😍Especially as the answer is two in one, just like the question. First off, meet Mr. Danny Presley:

Yes, yes I went and made it a little odd yet sweet by using darling John John Kennedy’s face, BUT HEAR ME OUT

1. I adore that man and he needs a fix it fic himself and in this universe we can start from scratch a bit, 2. I just always envisioned their last son being a distinguished darling of the nation in a political capacity, 3. he’s just terribly handsome and well…distinguished, I’ll use that again and has the down to earth goodness along with the charismatic gravitas that suits my vision for Danny.

Which leads us to those questions.

Oh the backlash is nasty. It’s awful as expected but for the first time in her life, Elaine Presley, though divorced and perhaps unforgivable for it by her husband, actually has Elvis’ full support under the media glare. This is thanks, in part, to Colonel Parker and his damned tabloid machine -which was always her nemesis and the bane of her dignity- being out of service due to the Colonel himself being neck deep in an immigration lawsuit. He can’t quite issue spoon fed statements about his investment’s behavior from a holding cell, not when the investment himself is rethinking his place as the head of his family while curled up in his ex-wife’s hospital bed talking to her barely protruding belly.

And Danny, oh sweet, their lovely Danny Boy. Made in the middle of such tragedy, you’d never know it from his easy presence and boyish charm, the way from the minute he can interact during Elvis’ later international tours he treats his Daddy’s fans like his own. He’s the one in the late 80’s and 90’s still passing out smooches to admirers, young and old, who still flock around the gate. He’s the one who gets invested in Memphian politics and continuing on what America got robbed of somewhere along the way. He marries Shiloh’s best friend Bee and he wins the senatorship, he’s straight and honest as they come… unless you wanna press an inquiry about some of those badges he gets his daddy. But no harm in those.

He coulda been known as the kid made when the two crazy Presley’s couldn’t stop hate-fucking. Instead he’s a recalled as a unifying legacy to everyone who ever dreamed about love enduring and good people making efforts to live for something bigger than themselves.

If it’s true you attract the love you give, then Danny’s his daddy’s replica to a T, and maybe it helps that they share a birthday. 😉

…the whole saga of him being made and the divorce and the reasoning and the reconciliation will be coming soon, I swear

As for the others, you have Daisy who is a significant performer in her own right and certainly a bit of a fame enjoyer, there’s Jesse who is similarly acclaimed but not as lead, and you’ve got Marie who as a photographer and filmmaker might be more of a artsy success but as far and household name and universal admiration and fondness as was felt for Elvis -I see that being Danny. Your Grandpa and your lil sister both think he’s pretty fly.

[ave09]

replicant

1982!rick deckard x reader

note: rewatched blade runner 1982 and wrote this! might be one of my fav things i’ve written besides my ‘i know’ han fic! i kinda wanna write a part two, so if you’re interested in reading one, let me know!

“i’m not taking that goddamn test, deckard.” 

“i’m not pressuring you too.”

“but you are.” you snapped, rising from the bed, collecting your discarded clothes from the floor, “you keep insinuating shit, i’m sick of this. i am not a replicant.” you snarled, pulling on your undergarments and deckard’s oversized shirt. 

the man jumped out of the bed, retrieving his boxers from his side, pulling them on quickly. he then rushed towards you, his hand gripping your wrist as he whirled you around to face him. 

“don’t leave.” 

“i’m not gonna sit here and be berated by you.” you snapped, yanking your hand away, “i’m not some fucking replicant.” 

“then take the test.” 

“and why would i do that? this isn’t a relationship, deckard. this is purely sex, i’m not supposed to be emotional and open about it.” this was all it was. casual. the whole point of casual sex was to go without feelings.

“it’s my job to know, okay? i used to do this professionally.” you shook your head, “well if you used to do this professionally then why the hell can’t you tell by my eyes or some shit? you’ve known me for two goddamn years, you think that i’d have known by now if i wasn’t human?” 

you had memories. why wouldn’t you be human? 

“then just take the test.”

“you take the test!” 

“i will if you do.” you were now caught in a trap. you sighed, crossing your arms over your chest. “fine. i’ll take your stupid test.” the man seemed satisfied, beckoning you over to the kitchen table, “hit the blinds, will you?” you nodded, walking towards the windows, pressing your hand against the button. 

the blinds automatically were pulled down, leaving the room cloaked in darkness. deckard had his setup ready now. you exhaled deeply, walking towards the table, taking a seat across from him.

he cleared his throat, “alright, this is how this is going to work-“

“i know how it works.” you snapped, fiddling with the ends of deckard’s old shirt, “just ask the damn questions.” 

and so he began. “it’s your birthday. someone gifts you a calfskin wallet.” 

“i return it. i already have a wallet.” you replied.

“you become pregnant by a man who runs off with your best friend, and you decide to get an abortion.”

“i wouldn’t get an abortion. my best friend can go fuck herself. i’d keep the kid.”

“you’re watching television. suddenly you realize there’s a wasp crawling on your arm.”

“i’d kill it.” 

“you’re reading a magazine. you come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. you show it to your husband. he likes it so much, he hangs it on your bedroom wall.”

“why would i like it? i’m not a lesbian. i’d leave him. i should be enough.”

the questions continued on. you were giving suitable answers in your opinion. and you could only hope they’d suffice.

you couldn’t be a replicant… could you?

no. it wasn’t possible.

not when you were in love with the man you’d been sleeping with for over a year. a replicant wouldn’t be able to feel love, right? 

the questions were over quickly. and so you sat, fiddling with the fabric of the shirt, awaiting his response. 

slowly, he rose from his seat. you frowned, “deckard?”

he backed away slowly, almost cautiously, turning his back to you. you found yourself standing from your seat, uneasy breaths slipping past your lips. “rick?” 

that was the first time you’d used his first name in a long time.

“rick?” you asked again. “what is it?” 

you couldn’t be a replicant. you couldn’t. it wasn’t possible. 

your lips quivered, “dammit rick, what is it?!” you exclaimed, your voice echoing throughout the empty apartment. 

slowly, he turned to you. and only then did you take notice of the weapon in his hand. your eyes softened, “rick..” you mumbled, flooding with emotion. 

“please..” 

you took a step towards him, “don’t do this.” you begged, your voice cracking slightly. 

you watched the internal struggle written on his face. he didn’t want too. rick deckard despite his best efforts had found himself falling for you.

and this was the last thing he wanted to do.

his adam’s apple bobbed as he raised his weapon, his hand trembling.

“please…” your voice was soft, fragile, “i-i love you.”

a single tear slipped down his cheek, his eyes closed for a moment, his face screwed up in emotion. “don’t say that.” 

“i do. i love you, deckard.” you repeated, as if saying it would change your fate. 

“stop it.” he whispered. 

“please-i’ll-i’ll run. i’ll go and i’ll never turn back… deckard please.” you begged, eyes stinging with tears. 

he opened his eyes, those beautiful hazel eyes that you loved so dearly were glossy with tears. and you accepted that if this was to be your fate… at least you’d be looking at what you loved most.

“i’m sorry-“

“i love you.” 

[cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien]

Solar Opposites: Mighty Solars The Movie Ch. 1

20th Century Fox Studios Presents…

A Legacy Studios Production

Replicant Korvo: offscreen Thank our Shlorpian Gods for our safety….

The scene then cuts with a scene of Replicant Korvo watching an explosion while Replicant Janiz holds him close.

Replicant Janiz: It's gonna be okay, little bro...

Replicant Korvo takes a deep breath.

Replicant Korvo: voiceover Thank our Shlorpian Gods for shelter…

The scene then cuts to Earth where a meteor shower gone wrong happens on the news. Ms. Smithers, who is pregnant is wiping her tears away while her wife Mrs. Smithers look on with concern.

Replicant Korvo: voiceover Thank our Shlorpian Gods for our happiness…

Mrs. Smithers: Honey, are you okay?

Ms. Smithers sighs. Then, a loud kaboom is heard as the wives take shelter.

Mrs. Smithers: Come on honey!

Ms. Smithers starts crying as she runs with her wife. Then, the wives lock the door as Mrs. Smithers hold her wife close. Then, the meteor shower ended as it shows colorful fragmnets that fly to the sky. The humans watch in awe and wonder as they look up at the sky and watch the fragments fly away. The scene then cuts back to Shlorp where Replicant Korvo takes a deep breath and stays calm as he looks around the destruction. Replicant Janiz smiles at her brother.

Replicant Janiz: I'm proud of you.

Replicant Korvo smiles at his sister.

Replicant Korvo: Janiz? Does daddy hate us?

Replicant Janiz: Yes… but at least you have me…. You are so brave… just remember one thing. True bravery come from the heart and from the people who stands by. Just remember, when you’re facing something big, you are not alone when you stand with others… never forget that…

Replicant Korvo smiles.

Replicant Korvo: Thank our Shlorpian God for Utopia…

Cut to 7 years later…

Korvo: voiceover And thank our Shlorpian Gods for our freedom…

Korvo walks into his study room as he studies a unique definition of the crystal. Then, Janiz bust in here.

Janiz: Korvo! You're replicant has just been born!

Korvo gasp as he drops his tools. Then, he rushes over to the nursery. We then cut to the nursery. Korvo rushes in as he looks around, and then hears a sound of an infant crying. We see a baby Yumyulack crying. Korvo gasp in joy as he rushes and sees his sproutling getting wrapped in a blanket and placed in a chamber. Korvo cries with happiness as Grant and Barry sees him and hands baby Yumyulack to him.

Grant: Here's your son, pal.

Korvo gasp in joy as baby Yumyulack continues crying and gets hand over as Korvo sheds tears of joy.

Korvo: Hey there. I'm your daddy.

Baby Yumyulack continues weeping as Korvo began to hold his baby close and starts soothing him.

Korvo: Sssh. It's okay. You're safe with me.

Baby Yumyulack calms down as he coos and feels Korvo’s heartbeat for the first time. Then, Janiz comes in as she smiles and walks over to her brother with Kimber.

Kimber: Oh, your sproutling looks so adorable, Korvo.

Korvo: I know...I'll love him forever...

Janiz: Oh my gosh! I can’t believe I’m an aunt! looks at baby Yumyulack and tickles his chin softly Hey there honey… I’m your aunt Janiz…

Baby Yumyulack giggles and coos as he touches Janiz's face.

Janiz: D’aw…

Kimber: I'm proud of you, Korvo. And you too Janiz.

Janiz: blushes Thanks.

Korvo then soothes baby Yumyulack as he coos and the three walk out of the nursery. Yumyulack coos as he reaches out to touch Korvo's face.

Baby Yumyulack: coos as he touches Korvo’s face while Korvo smiles in tears

Korvo: I'm gonna call you Yumyulack.

Baby Yumyulack yawns as he falls asleep as Korvo holds him close safely.

Kimber: He's so cute!

Janiz: I know… our little Yumyulack…

Korvo: Welcome to Shlorp, Yumyulack…

Then, he passes by Terry.

Terry: Oh hey.

Korvo: Hi.

Terry blushes as he looks at Korvo, whose skin looks like it's shimmering. Korvo then watches as Terry leaves and then feels something as a heartbeat is heard and romantic music is heard. Korvo then heads to walking back while holding baby Yumyulack. The scene then cuts to a nursery where another baby cries is heard and Terry comes in.

Terry: WHERE ARE THEY?! WHERE'S MY BABY!

He then gasp upon seeing something as the baby cries are replaced with a calm cooing sound.

Terry: Hey there, little buddy. I'm your daddy!

We then see a baby Jesse cooing as she smiles with her eyes close. Terry smiles and picks her up. Baby Jesse then opens her eyes for the first time as she coos and smiles. Terry laughs.

Terry: sheds tears of joy She’s perfect…

Baby Jesse giggles.

Terry: I’ll call you Jessica… little Jessica…

Baby Jesse coos as she touches Terry's face

Terry: Aw little Jesse…

But then baby Jesse starts crying. Terry gasps.

Terry: Aw no… oh… baby…. Oh…

Terry then comforts and soothes baby Jesse as she continues crying.

Terry: Sssh...sssh...it's okay

Baby Jesse whimpers as she looks up at Terry who starts to take her home as he continues soothing her.

Terry: It's okay. This is your new home. Nothing bad will happen to you as long as I'm here.

Baby Jesse squeaks a little as she looks at Terry tearfully then he whistles her a lullaby. Baby Jesse then coos as she falls asleep.

Terry: shedding tears of joy Welcome to Shlorp Jesse-bear…

A couple of years later...

The spaceship has landed as people gasp.

Korvo: NOBODY FUCKING MOVE! WE'RE TAKING THIS FUCKING PLANET HOSTAGE!

Kevin: What the fuck?…. are those aliens…

Miss Frankie came by and groans.

Miss Frankie: You’ve gotta be fucking joking…

Terry: I-It's okay! We come in peace.

Korvo: Damn it, he’s such a dweeb. takes a deep breath Nevermind, we’re just looking for a place to live.

Moving Saleswoman: Oh, why don’t live in this house where your ship landed?

Debbie: Well, hey there, neighbor.

Jesse: Can we live in this house Korvo? Please?

Korvo: Ugh, fine...

Terry, Yumyulack and Jesse: Yeah!

Korvo sighs as he rolls his eyes. Korvo then looks at Terry and smiles a little while blushing.

Cue the movie title…

Solar Opposites: Mighty Solars The Movie

[rerarlo]

Alright strap in everybody this nerd is about to over theorize why demons in demon slayer can’t reproduce!

CW: Pregnancy, birth, miscarriage, eating babies, baby tumors, body horror, reproductive explanation, nothing sexual, nothing explicit (i think?) oh god what did I write. Read this at your own risk guys.

Now lets starts with the males, we have to assume that the equipment still works.

Why can’t a male demon have a kid with a human? Their genetic codes have become too different.

Becoming a demon physically changes a person drastically, which would mean their DNA changed as well. This is also supported by the regeneration factor as well, because it seems its just perfect mitosis of cells happening at a fast pace. This ‘perfect mitosis’ is also why demons don’t age. Ageing in simple terms, is cells/dna not being able to perfectly replicate itself each time, which over time leads to degradation in the code which we call ageing. (this is very simplified of an explanation)

And if the DNA between species is too different viable young can’t be produced. This DNA difference is also why we don’t have cat/dog hybrids.

Now if a male demon can’t reproduce with a human because of this, why can’t they have children with a female demon?

Well one hurdle would be behaviour of demons, they don’t really team up because of their territorial nature (and possible fear of Muzan punishing them for it). But lets assume that isn’t an issue. And lets also assume the reproductive organs haven’t shut down function.

The biggest problem would be the she-demons immune system. Now why am i bringing this up? Its because of the way our own immune system works. Its not smooth sailing for sperm once they are inside the female body.

They not only have to get to the egg cell, but along the way our immune system flags them as foreign and intruders. Which leads to most of them being eliminated by said immune system.

Now we have never seen a demon get sick with a virus, or a parasite. Which could mean nothing is compatible with their bodies. But given how quickly viruses can mutate there should be something that can affect them.

My theory is that a demons immune system is extremely effective, to the point no virus, parasite or illness can take root (unless it was contracted as a human like Gyutaro)

But that also means that no sperm would even get close to the hypothetical egg cell!

Now how about we consider one more option. Could turning a pregnant human into a demon, result in the eventual birth of a demon baby?

Probably not. Because not all humans can turn into demons, some are too weak to do so. So there is no guarantee that the baby would even survive the process, and they probably wouldn’t. Babies are pretty fragile especially when younger. Not only that but it relies on the assumption that if the mother does turn into a demon, her body wouldn’t eject or absorb the baby.

Turning into a demon is an extremely painful process. And too much stress or pain could result in a miscarriage (or so i’ve heard don’t quote me on this).

Also the moment a demon turns they are hungry, and going to try eating anything in sight. Either by literally eating or absorbing the biomass (baby) within them. And if the transformation results in say a premature birth, i doubt the mother would have a second thought before eating her child.

Although the worst outcome would probably be a permanent state of pregnancy. The baby isn’t growing, it isn’t even a baby anymore just an ‘extension’ of the demon mothers flesh. Her own body mimicking a baby like tumor. Except it can’t be cut out, it just re-grows every time.

[sahsalart]

BEHOLD THE KENNEDY TWINS, PARKER AND BINNA :D

The fraternal twins have a finalized design after months of pulling shit out my ass lol. Sometimes I get lazy sorry.

I feel like out of all the characters from the Resident Evil franchise, Leon having fraternal boy and girl twins just makes so much sense. I just know this man wouldn’t be ready to have a baby but ends up getting Eunjoo (my OC) pregnant and she wants to keep it, and after panicking for long while Leon’s just like “oh well it’s 1 baby it can’t be that bad—“ BOOM 2 BABIES!! I love it. And not just for my OC, I think fraternal twins suits Leon in general for any other characters he’s shipped with. That being said, I did my best to replicate both genes of the parents. Binna being darker-skinned but has Leon’s hair color and eyes. Her facial structure represents more of her mother by having a wider nose and rounded face. Then Parker having fairer skin but with his mother’s textured hair and eyes. His facial structure definitely takes on more of Leon with his slender nose and sharp features.

The twins were born on April 2nd, 2008. Making Eunjoo just under 25 and Leon 31. Parker is older by 2 minutes, Binna is the baby. Leon named Parker, Eunjoo named Binna. Then they it switched for their middle names. Binna (빛나) is a Korean name, meaning “to shine”. Aury is a Latin name commonly used around the Caribbean and means “Gold”. Joon (준) is also a korean name, meaning “ruler, talented, handsome”. Around the age they are in the illustration, they are in recruitment for training to be agents like their parents. Although both parents are against them going towards the line of field they work with.

I’ll eventually put out a lot more info for them when I do their individual character sheets, but feel free to ask questions or just tell me what you think about them!

[freckliedan]

praying for phil’s oenis in this time bc christ if WE are affected i can’t even imagine what it’s like for him… dan in his clothes really is just so fucking diabolical AND the fact he bought him those shorts. this whole thing is phoreplay i think. and i also think well dan will not be able to wear those shorts or nay any shorts for a little while in the near future lest we all be able to get an accurate replication of phil’s dental record from his thighs. as your great mind once said. god my head is spinning I NEED TO GET HER PREGNANT

do you ever think that intentionally driving the internet crazy with lust over dan '"lesbian sex symbol" howell knowing that at the end of the day he's phil's is something that like um really does it for both of them. but specifically phil. like.

anyways i can't think about that for too long. yeah it's definitely foreplay most things are with them. i'm literally right there with you i need to [deeply redacted details] & leave her with child.

also i have to confess: the dental record phrase is something i stole from a dear friend of mine who i am absolutely not going to tag on this post. bc he's does not and will not care abt two british men due to being welsh.

[rom-e-o]

ABCs (NSFW) - Scrooge (2022)

I’ve been inspired. Let’s just do it. Don’t look back.

 THIS IS AN 18+ POST. MINORS DNI.

Post under cut.

So I’m going to be doing my headcanons for Scrooge, as well as my OC Constance (my 38-year-old divorced New York socialite turned counting house clerk.) 

These HCs will be set off with the OC marker for those who prefer to skip them!

Alright, disclaimer done. Onward we go!

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Ebenezer can be kind of a stickler for cleanliness, haha. Whether it’s with towels and water or actually taking a bath after intimacy, he simply can’t rest until BOTH of you are clean. Don’t get me wrong, he’ll enjoy the afterglow for a little bit, especially when he’s coiled so tightly against someone he loves, but right as he realizes he’s about to get a little too sleepy is when he forces himself to clean up. Once that’s done, he’s yours for the rest of the night. Cuddles, snuggles and all.

He's also pretty fastidious about grooming (his hair, sideburns and skin are always washed and trimmed). He’s not exactly vain, but he’d a firm believer in maintaining appearances. If his partner is too tired after intimacy to tend to their own needs, he’s happy to assist with washing, hair brushing, massages, and lotioning.

OC: Constance is out. Like a light. She has been so sleepy that she had even fallen asleep in the bath one before, which Ebenezer found adorable if not a bit concerning.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

This is niche but hear me out…hip dips.

He knows lots of women are self-conscious about them or even see hip dips as undesirable, and he has NO idea why. They’re perfect. His hands (or lips) fit so perfectly into the divots, the curves highlight the softness of his partner’s form so beautifully.

Also niche, but he also loves the slope of his partner’s cheekbone. Like, he adored the feel the contour when he presses his lips to their faces to decorate it with a loving smooch. Seeing the profile of his lover’s face silhouetted against the setting sun in golden hour…sigh. It makes his heart swell with eros.

OC: Constance loves Ebenezer’s chest! His strong sternum, the silver dusting of hair, his sculpted clavicle. Plus, he’s also pretty sensitive there. Once she finds this out, it is game over, so to speak. There are kisses, touches, and lovebites galore!

She also makes a habit of, when they are alone, giving his bum the occasional smack as she passes. At first, he would make the most surprised little squeaks. Then, she he grew to expect it, he’d catch her hands and playfully wrestle her back, or simply dart after her to get revenge. A win-win scenario, as far as she’s concerned.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

It takes some coaxing (heh) for Ebenezer to feel comfortable coming inside his partner if they are someone who can become pregnant. As is to be expected, pregnancy makes him…weary. Panicky, even.

For pleasure, he enjoys seeing his cum on his partner’s chest and near their mouth. However, as stated above, he can be a little finicky when it comes to cleanliness. If he comes on his partner, he’ll feel obligated to help you clean immediately (seriously, you’ll have to hold him down to stop him from abandoning his post, erm, so to speak).

OC: It’s Victorian England, after all, and sometimes men are not the most creative. She confides in Ebenezer that she’s always wanted to feel a man come against her clit right as she’s near orgasm. This takes a few tries to get right (the timing is quite precise) but once it happens…she is dripping and screaming and moaning in his arms like never before. Not only is she drenched in his cum, but she drenches him in her own ejaculate. He likes being covered in his partner’s fluids more than his own, and Constance’s reaction is so stunning that he vows to replicate it as often as he can for her.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

That cane isn’t just for show.

Okay, well, it is. Canes were a fashion statement at the time (and handy for those slippery cobblestones) but its an object of fantasy for him. He wouldn’t dream of beating his partner, but he sometimes has thoughts as he feels the polished wood against his gloved fingertips about what it would be like to ravish a lover with the handle of his cane, then use it on a stroll as if nothing ever happened. Even better if he can see the look on his lover’s face while he does so.

OC: As much as Ebenezer wants to keep his office a space only for his professional work, Constance can’t help but wonder what it would be like for him to throw her atop the polished wood and make passionate love to her there. It’s something she doesn’t think will ever happen (too risky), but hey, a girl can dream!

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

While abstinence was the norm at the time to avoid any premarital babies, I do think Ebenezer and Isabel were passionate enough about their love that they slept together at least once after their engagement. After she said yes, I think they would have been like giggly hooligans, rushing back to one of their flats for a loving yet inexperienced romp.

Ebenezer is a handsome man, and even if he hasn’t had other partner is the traditional sense, the man knows his stuff. He can kiss, knows where things are, what feels good, etc. That being said, his roster isn’t exactly jam-packed, but the experiences he has had have been meaningful.

OC: Constance was married for almost twenty years, and the marriage was consummated. She lost her virginity on her wedding night. Her ex-husband also made a habit of using his lovely wife’s body (a grope here, and kiss there) to seal deals, so she has had her fair share of partners, men and women.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Ahhh. Yes.

He says its missionary, but after a few trysts, he’s also quite partial to doggy style. He likes the accessibility of the pose, and the fact that his hands are free to roam and tease his partner’s body even as he’s pounding them into the mattress~

OC: Constance is down for anything, really. There aren’t many positions she won’t try. Cowgirl can be a little taxing because of her, um, top-heavy assets, but otherwise, it’s free real estate.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

It’s Victorian England, so sex is seen as very serious. It’s a big deal. An occasion, and Ebenezer believes in treating it as such. He’s quite serious, especially at the start, constantly checking in on his partner, asking if they’re okay, if they like the pace, if he’s going too fast, if something is too hard, etc. Nevertheless, as sex becomes more frequent, he loosens up (heh). Meaning, he’s more willing to laugh off little mishaps or humorous moments. Like, perhaps it wasn’t a good idea to use the chandelier as an anchor of the hand-ties, and maybe adding some padding to the headboard would prevent further bumps and bruises.

OC: Constance is a goofball. She’s clumsy, and quick to laugh things off. The energy stays light around her, and if a mistake is made (she’s flipped off the bed more than a few times) she’s the first to burst out laughing at herself. This helps Ebenezer also loosen up a bit, seeing that she doesn’t hold him to stringent romantic standards.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Ebenezer is always trimmed, especially after getting into a relationship! Carpet and drapes match, though his pubic hair is darker and a little more dense than hair on other parts of his body. You can definitely tell he used to be a brunet.

OC: She used to shave her pubic area completely bare when she was with her ex-husband. After being with Ebenezer for the first time, he encourages her to do whatever she feels comfortable with. Sometimes she shaves herself clean, other times she plays it a little more loose. Depends on her mood!

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

He’s a classic romantic, through and through. Once he’s in love, he goes all in. He believes that courtship doesn’t end at marriage, let alone in the bedroom.

In bed, Ebenezer prefers lovemaking to quickies or most casual sex. Coupling is an event, and even if things get heated and passionate as the evening goes on, the coupling always starts slow and sweet. Sweet kisses, maybe some wine, slow-dancing, soft grouping through the clothes.

Once they get to the bedroom, he takes great pleasure in foreplay. He wants to shower his love in kisses, peel back their clothes article by article, and even tease a little bit to see what he can get away with before his partner begs him for more. Spoiler alert: he’s always willing to give more.

OC: Constance is a newbie when it comes to romance. After all, she was married to one man, and this man didn’t exactly view her well or treat her softly. As such, Ebenezer’s wooing makes her a little nervous at first. Things move slow, to give the paranoia time to ebb. However, once she trusts him, even romantic gesture almost brings tears to her eyes. She’s so touched and so easy to spoil that even something as simple as bringing her breakfast in bed would render her speechless, as if she’s just been given a priceless diamond.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He used to resist the urge as much as possible, mainly out of guilt for driving the one woman he loved away, but even he needs to rub one out eventually. A few times a month, he’ll dedicate some hours to some satiating fantasies. This rate only increases once he’s in a relationship, as he actually begins to feel desire again after so many years of any emotion other than anger being so stunted.

OC: Constance loves to masturbate, but is sooo bad at it. Her hands just don’t move as well as other people’s fingers, or their tongues. She tells this to Ebenezer and he has a good, teasing laugh. (“Looks like you may need lessons. Shall I pencil you in for a weekly appointment? Or, do you need daily lessons?”)

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

For Ebenezer, he’s very much into praise, both giving and receiving. Tell him that he’s doing a good job in bed, or that he’s looking particularly fetching in a certain outfit, and a pleasant hum will start to escape him. If you applaud his techniques in bed, you’re sure to be rewarded vastly for your kind words.

OC: Constance likes vocal sex. Like, being silent is not her thing. It makes her uneasy. As such, she encourages Ebenezer to moan or whimper or speak whatever is on his mind. She won’t force him if he feels uncomfortable, but if he doesn’t feel confident enough to do that, she’ll want to sit and have that discussion before any further moments of intimacy. (“I need to know you’ll tell me to stop if something doesn’t feel good, okay?”)

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do?)

For Ebenezer, it’s his bedroom! It doesn’t seem creative, but with so many visitors coming in and out of the house after his Christmas eve visitation, he isn’t exactly keen on risking anybody getting an eyeful of him and his lover in any stage of flagrante delico.

Outside office hours, he’s also somewhat open to having relations in his office. However, it’s risky, as there are many windows. Being caught in the act isn’t something that turns him on, so these type of trysts are rare. However, when a moment of opportunity comes, he can become invested in the idea preeeetty quick. Plus, if his partner entices him a bit by reciprocating the urge, you will not find him complaining (if you can even see him once he’s down between your thighs).

Constance: Bedroom, or in the bath! She likes the intimacy of both spaces. Regardless of where they are, she wants to be pressed to Ebenezer fully and enjoy the lovely expanse of his body that he keeps hidden under all those wool layers.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Ebenezer is a sucker for innuendo. He’ll be the first to admit that his lack of romantic experience means that he can be a little dense when it comes to flirting. So, innuendo is a still teasing way for his partner to openly share what is on their mind without having to be awkwardly honest, haha.

Once someone starts with the sneaky comments or lingering touches, you bet it will not let up until the need is satisfied (literally. Often multiple times over.)

OC: Kissing. Constance loves being kissed. On the hand, lips, cheeks, other places...once someone’s lips are on hers, she’s addicted. She doesn’t understand couples who go entire sexual sessions without kissing. Like, it is unfathomable to her. She wants them smooches, gosh darnit! 

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Ebenezer will not physically or verbally abuse his partner. He can’t do it. Also anything non-con is absolutely off the table.

OC: Physical and verbal abuse. Also, anything non-con is off the table.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Ebenezer LOVES giving oral. Every aspect of it, from the taste of his lover to the way he can feel the ministrations of their writhing body against his, it all gets him so drunk with arousal. Unlike other men at the time, Ebenezer has little difficulty finding the clit, and his fingers are the perfect length for k-spot and g-spot stimulation. This, as expected, works wonders when paired with his skilled mouth. He also has great stamina when it comes to oral, and could go for hours.

OC: Constance enjoys oral the average amount, but prefers to give handjobs or use her tits to encase Ebenezer’s cock. She definitely has to teach Ebenezer how to properly 69, and what the appeal is. However, once she does, it’s probably the oral position she enjoys most. Also, Constance prefers the feeling of oral sex to penetrative sex.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Ebenezer starts slow and sensual, but picks up the pace FAST. It’s not uncommon for sex to begin with slow, hard thrust, but end with the headboard clapping against the wall and fingers clawing at the bedsheets in abandon.

OC: She tends to prefer rougher sex. Rougher, but not painful. She lights to buck her hips and feel her tits bounce, and even do some pegging once in a while. Fast and white-hot is her preference, especially if she’s turned on and ready to go. The most common pleas she’ll mutter in bed are “Faster, please!” or “Keep going!”

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Ebenezer does not like quickies, except in very specific situations. Like, if he and his lover have been apart for a while and they only have a moment of time together, that’s an exception. Otherwise, he doesn’t like to be rushed when it comes to these things. He wants to take his sweet time savoring his partner, and having a ticking clock leaning over his head kind of ruins that experience.

OC: Constance is neutral about them. Quickies get the job done, but as said before, she’s a talker and enjoys playful banter and teasing. Those tends to not be possible with quickies, where a lot of foreplay is disregarded. So, she’s very ‘meh’ about them. She’d rather just wait until they have time to actually have a quality experience together.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Ebenezer doesn’t see sex as the prime time for risk-taking, haha. He doesn’t even like to take gambles with his money, let alone people (especially post-Visitation.) That being said, he could be talked into an after-hours office romp, but anything else would rattle his nerves too much to be enjoyable. As far as kinks or toys, he’s willing to experiment with things his partner likes as long as it doesn’t involve pain or questionable consent.

OC: It depends! She’s okay with risks like trying a new position, or experimenting with different restraints or things like that. When it comes to kinks and toys, she’s faaaar more open than the average person at the time. However, she doesn’t need experimenting or risk-taking to get a thrill out of sex. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Ebenezer has above average stamina and, as mentioned before, is pretty virile. As we learned from his time with Jacob, he’s also eager to please, and that continues into the bedroom.

He can go daily for a few days in a row, or a couple nights a week. He’s also good for at least two orgasms before his refractory period gets a little longer or he gets sleepy and needs a power nap to rally himself. (“Easy, dear. I’m not exactly a teenager anymore.”)

OC: Connie loves multiple orgasms, and usually enjoys up to four before she starts to get a little too tingly and over-sensitive. When that happens, she usually switches to pleasing Ebenezer through oral or other means. She has great stamina, and will go until her partner is completely satisfied.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Ebenezer does not, haha. He’s a little intimidated by the prospect, or perhaps he views them as unnecessary? Either way, his curiosity definitely opens up once he’s in a relationship. It takes some coaxing to admit it, but once he does, he is great at staying open-minded.

OC: Constance has dabbled with toys, mainly dildos and anal plus. Also, she has a strop-on for pegging, which Ebenezer does learn that he…actually enjoys once he gives it a chance. (He may know about female anatomy, but prostate stimulation is a new one.) He finds the swapping of the traditional roles quite exciting, and while he’s not always up for using toys, he has a new appreciation for them.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Ebenezer finds glee in teasing his partner, especially when they’re finally alone and he can cut loose. Being a proper London gentleman all the time can be downright stifling, and few things get hm more excited them being able to finally whisper those sweet seductive nothings in his lover’s ear after the end of a long day. Despite not having much experience, Ebenezer is fantastic at dirty talk, and loves to use the deep timbre of his voice to pleasure his partner and ply them with all the honeyed words they want to hear.

By the time he’s done, legs are usually open and trousers are unzipped.

OC: She has been known to go without a breastband, corset or smalls to tease Ebenezer, and she makes absolutely certain he’s aware of the lack of barrier. She gets an even bigger thrill out of it in public, enjoying it so much when she catches Ebenezer staring at her hardened nipples or the way her dress hugs the curve of her ass. It also activated his protective side a bit, causing him to pull her close or share his coat with her.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Ebenezer is not only very vocal, but he’s loud to boot. He’s embarrassed about it at first, but he seriously can’t help himself. He gets easily swept up in the moment and has a hard time controlling the platitudes that drop from his lips. Plus, if he’s being dominated or being ridden, he’s even more noisy about his…appreciation for the pleasure he’s receiving. Perhaps investing in a gag is a good option. It would look delightful on him, after all.

OC: Constance is also loud. Banter, dirty talk, moaning, give it all to her, haha! Unlike Ebenezer’s whimpers, she tends to giggle or, when very overwhelmed, can even cry. Keep tissues on hand, just in case.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Ebenezer really wants to try window sex, but it’s so risky and there is never a good opportunity. However, the thought of his love pushed against the glass, trapped between the icy surface and heat of his body…it gets him riled up. He’s definitely rubbed one out to those thoughts, especially on cold winter nights when the windows are frosty and opaque.

OC: It’s totally unrealistic, but she would love to see her ex-husband get cucked. Like, he’s forced to watch while Scrooge ravishes her in ways he never could. She realizes it’s impossible and so twisted to think such a thing, but it’s a secret fantasy she sometimes returns to entertain while everyone else in the house is asleep.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Ebenezer is a grower, so to speak. His length is about four inches flaccid, but once he’s inside his partner, it’s not uncommon for him to grow a noticeable few inches once he starts thrusting and finds a good rhythm. His girth is also average, and he’s uncircumcised.

OC: Her cheeks flush apricot when she blushes, so her nipples, vulva and other intimate areas are more brown than they are sugary, bubblegum pink. She has many scars from hears of past abuse, including at the apex of her legs and along her lower back. She’s extremely self-conscious of them, so when they’re in bed, Ebenezer takes care to always give those lovely area a few extra moment of worship from his hands and lips.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Ebenezer is quite virile for his age and has a lot of oats to sow to make up for lost time. As such, he’s usually pretty down for sex multiple times a week. Daily sex is probably too much (maybe at the start of the intimate part of the relationship during the exciting exploration phase), but as he falls into a more comfortable routine, it’s safe to say that while the couplings may lessen to a more normal pace, the quality of these sessions is magnified by the increased knowledge of what turn’s his partner on.

OC: Constance can go a couple times a week, but usually needs at least three to four orgasms before she’s completely satiated. If she’s had a stressful day, her sex drive will be absolutely non-existent, and she’ll just want lots of hugs.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

As soon as he and his partner are all cleaned up, he is out! It doesn’t matter what time of day it is, if he’s just had sex or even masturbated, he needs a power nap afterwards to recover his energy. He falls asleep so quickly that sometimes he’ll forget to put on (or remove) the necessary clothes for napping.

If he and his lover have a quickie that doesn’t allow them to undress, sometimes he’ll even nod off in his coat and shoes (resulting in his partner happily helping to remove them for comfort. Silly man.)

OC: Also out like a light. Woman loves her sleep and will not lose it. Also, lots of cuddles. She likes to snuggle something; blankets, pillows, her lover’s arm, you name it.

[luverofralts]

Arkhelios Adventures

“I think I can kinda feel something working. It’s stronger now that Ewan’s around. Can you feel it too?”

Theo rocked back on his feet and placed another cupcake in his mouth. Things were going slowly so far-too slowly. At this rate, they would never find out if Ewan was related to Adam and Remy. He’d be at home in bed for the night before any signal got back to his stalkers.

“Your dad makes the best cupcakes. Like seriously, these are amazing.”

After their encounter with Roman in the kitchen, Theo had “accidentally” liberated a plate of cupcakes intended for the dinner. The frosting was intricate, homemade and incredibly addicting. Adam would ask for the recipe if he thought there was an actual chance of him replicating the delicious treats, but only Roman it seemed had the skill to pull them off. Saturnia might learn it in time given her skill set, but for now, Roman was the only way to access the desserts he had become known for. Stealing a whole plate of them was so amazing a find that it almost overshadowed their important work. 

Once they’d found a tea set stocked with expensive tea in the queen’s old rooms, the two boys began to relax. This clandestine operation was on track so far and aside from some slow magic slowing them down, things were going okay.

“So these were the rooms of Queen Celeste? The witch who tried to kill Death along with the Strangetown cult...er, I mean coven? This is an amazing suite! I wonder what else she had stored around here?”

Adam lowered his eyes to the floor, obviously distracted by Theo’s words. Far too late, Theo realized that he was speaking dismissively about the “restructuring” the Strangetown coven had had to undergo. The coven his mother was single-handedly keeping together because of her brother’s actions.

“Shit, I’m sorry, Adam,” Theo said quickly. “I wasn’t thinking. Are you okay being here where one of the leaders of the coven lived? I just assumed that because it was empty, we could-”

“It’s fine, Theo,” Adam reassured his boyfriend. He sipped his tea quietly for a moment. “That all happened before I was born. I never knew any of them, but my mom was devastated when they died. I still catch her crying sometimes when she thinks she’s alone. She probably couldn’t be here in this room, but it doesn’t really bother me. Well, actually no. It makes me sad. Sad and angry that my uncle and her friends could do that to her. The world can be a really horrible place sometimes.”

“You’re telling me,” Theo laughed awkwardly. “I get it. Thank god my grandmother is dead, or whatever did happen to her. At least I don’t have to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder for her in dark, secret corners. Having some closure makes things easier for your mom, I’d imagine.”

“Yeah, that definitely helps.”

After a long pause, Theo asked the question that had been plaguing him for a while.

“So what happens if this guy is your long lost brother? Does anything change?”

“I guess Winterfest plans change,” Adam sighed, picturing having to spend an extended period of time with the annoying Ewan. “We see him on family dinner night maybe? I don’t know. My dad’s not that hard to get a hold of, Theo. If his mom really wanted to let my dad know she was pregnant, then I can’t see why she couldn’t have done that. I mean, even Queen Claudia can be reached reliably through the right channels and my dad isn’t anywhere near as important as she is. This whole thing felts weird.”

“Ewan feels weird,” Theo agreed. “Can you sense some of what I’m feeling when he’s nearby? It’s like he’s empty, magically just nothing. I’ve never met someone like that before.”

“Hmmm, I can maybe feel a little bit of what you’re feeling, yes. It’s not as intense as I thought it would be.”

Theo nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, my parents always acted like blood connections were this horrible, dangerous thing,” Theo confided. “I think probably because their connection was so damaged and warped by the end that it was dangerous for them. If anything, this pact is barely a magical trickle of energy. It’s boring and ineffective. Next time we try a harder spell.”

“There’s going to be a next time?”

Adam chuckled while Theo flushed with embarrassment.

“Yeah, I mean maybe, if you want to...I’m not really expecting- well that is-”

“Relax Theo, I’m teasing you,” Adam laughed, easing Theo’s anxiety. “Maybe there will be a next time, maybe there won’t. I’m okay with either if everything is safe. We make a good team.”

Theo poked at the crystal that they’d brought with them and a suspicious amount of salt he’d taken from the kitchen when his father was distracted by the mystery of his missing cupcakes. Adam was obsessed with crystals, probably more than even a practicing member of the Crystal Cove coven was. He had an anxiety soothing crystal (which Theo thought was a scam for how useful it was at soothing Adam’s worries), a crystal to relieve headaches during exams, a crystal to find missing items in their dorm, a crystal he used to predict pop quizzes (which Theo was also skeptical of) and a crystal for enhancing spells. There were probably many other crystals that Theo had yet to find, along with stones from their many walks in the forest that he insisted were “special”. This crystal was supposedly going to enhance the blood pact and kick it into gear so they could finally get a clear answer about Ewan...if it worked.

“Well, here goes nothing.”

Theo flipped to a certain passage in his text book and read the latin inside, calling for their blood connection to be increased to solve the question their pact was formed to answer.

For a minute, nothing happened and Theo poked once more at the crystal in front of him angrily.

“Do you see anything? I think maybe I do. Is the room getting more blue to you? The walls look blue now.”

Theo paused to consider Adam’s words. The walls maybe did look oddly coloured all of a sudden. He could feel a strong pounding noise echo through his head. Almost like a drumbeat urging him into action.

“I have to go find Ewan,” he exclaimed, standing too quickly and faltering. “This is working, or at least I hope it is. Something is happening. I have to go!”

Adam stared nervously as Theo bolted from the room. His head did feel a little funny, but nothing like Theo was describing. If he were to write a paper on the experience for class, he would have to assume the pact was working as intended. Theo was using the spell on himself while receiving information on the bloodline that Adam was broadcasting, so it was reassuring that Theo was having the stronger reaction. If Adam had been as driven as his boyfriend to go find an answer to their question, he would have to assume that the connection made between them was faulty and that he and Theo had merged incorrectly. Not only did this information make him worry less about their spell work, but he was also incredibly proud of his boyfriend. Very few people could do blood magic and even fewer could do it correctly. Theo was going to be one of the standout students in their age bracket without any doubt.

“Can I have a pink one? I really like the pink kind.”

Victoriana stared at the collection of treats before her, her eyes lighting up at every selection. Roman had outdone himself, likely to impress the ruling monarch of the largest country and her family. Well, Victoriana was very impressed. She had already tried two different pastries and licked the spoons in the frosting mixing bowl clean, clearing a path to the cupcakes. Each one was a work of art with dazzling designs and specially designed toppings and if she’d been left unsupervised in the room, they would have all been eaten long before her mother had joined them.

“You don’t want to ruin your dinner,” Roman chided softly. “I worked hard on that too and I think you’re going to like it.”

“Does it have peas in it? I don’t like peas. I could just skip the peas and eat a cupcake now. I can’t spoil something I’m not going to eat.”

Roman smiled at the preteen, seeing so much of Theo and his girls in the young princess. If he had a dollar for every bargain Theo had tried to make to avoid eating vegetables, he wouldn’t be worrying about supporting his restaurant like he was.

“Sorry princess, but your mom’s the boss and she says no skipping dinner for cupcakes. You can help me start the cake icing if you want though. It should be- oh, goddamn it!”

Roman swore far too loudly for a dignified palace when he stumbled and watched the cupcake in his hands fly through the air, ruining a solid twenty minutes of work.

Theo ran down the stairs, not even hiding the fact that he was running from within the forbidden area of the castle.

“Remy! Remy!”

Remy looked irritably at Theo as he stormed into the room, thankfully sparing her the need to think of something mundane to talk about with their target.

“Theo, thank god. What took you so long? Were you and Adam making out somewhere when you know that you had a prior commitment? I can’t stand this anymore. It’s not even possible that I’m related to this guy, he’s an asshole.”

Ewan didn’t look surprised to hear Remy’s frustrated confession and ordinarily, that would have sent Theo spiraling to think up a new story. But now?

His heartbeat thundered in his temple as he tried to make sense of the scene before him. Remy and Ewan sat on a couch, barely hiding their disdain for each other. He blinked and saw an entirely different scene before him, one he could hardly fathom.

Blood pulsed through their veins and Theo could feel Remy and Ewan’s heartbeats as strongly as his own. Remy’s blood pressure was rising with her anger. She was born in Pleasantview, he could see her ties to the land, where she’d began. Her paternal great-grandmother’s name was Remy and they both had black hair and the same freckles. He could see both Remy’s in his mind as clearly as if they were standing side by side before him. Her maternal great-grandfather Adam Thompson stepped into view as well as her paternal great-grandfather Prince Adam Walter. Their names seeped out of them, ebbing into Theo’s mind. The two Adams joined hands and pointed at Theo’s now glowing hand that had been linked to Adam Darktide and suddenly an image of his own Adam stepped into view. Blood called to blood and names called to names; everything was connected.

He turned his eyes to Ewan, who was still eerily staring at him. His name was Ewan MacLeod and he’d been born in Pleasantview to Lynette MacLeod. Two Remys and three Adams turned to welcome him into Theo’s sight. 

“Ewan.” Theo whispered the word into life and watched several new lights spark into existence like tiny beacons of flames. Prince Ewan and Ewan Jr Goldman appeared, but Theo looked past them. That wasn’t the branch of the Maricourt-Darktide  family tree he was interested in. No, he wanted Ewan G Lind Maricourt, Adam and Remy’s father. 

The Maricourts were a secretive family and several members had just a single G hung in their name, seemingly just to frustrate those who sought out their true names. If Theo concentrated, using his connection to Adam, he could get a sense of the vague shape of the G starting name, but nothing came clearly into vision. It was an interesting tactic for self defense, one that Theo envied. Adam didn’t know the name either, which just raised more questions for the teen. Did the children named with the mysterious G name know what it stood for? Did they learn it before they passed on the name to their children or had the true name been lost to the centuries? Was just “G” accurate enough to provide protection against blood magic if no one knew the actual true name or did “G” become the true name if no one remembered what it stood for? This was a question Theo vowed to raise with his teachers later on. There was so much to see and learn with blood magic and he’d barely scratched the surface of his abilities. Why had he never tried practicing his spells on this scale before? Surely this must be how Life and Death saw the universe, each little spark igniting a chain reaction until the entire universe revealed its secrets.

Theo somehow pulled himself away from the Maricourt naming dilemma to the Maricourt family dilemma. It wasn’t easy. He could stare at the interconnections in his world for centuries and still not learn it all.

He watched as Ewan G Lind Maricourt settled back into view, holding his hand out towards the burning brilliance of Adam and Remy. A spark floated by them echoing Miruna’s name and Theo let it pass. He was getting closer. His own voice called out to him, repeating the name he’d used to create the pact in the first place.

“Ewan, uh, Maricourt?”

It wasn’t exact. Every Ewan in Adam’s family tree rose again to obscure his view. He squeezed his eyes shut, focused as hard as he could and repeated the name. The blood in his veins boiled as the magic rebelled against him. A sharp pain burned its way into his mind, but it was becoming clearer. His target was Ewan MacLeod, child of Pleasantview, child of Lynette and child of Ewan G Lind Maricourt.

Theo gasped at the strength of the connections before him. Ewan MacLeod blazed beside his siblings with the intensity of a star. He had been telling the truth all along; he was Adam’s brother.

His teachers would tell him to stop there now that he had his answer, but Theo was hooked on the revelations before him. Curious, he turned his attention inward. He might never get another chance to see himself like this, or at least not until he was almost graduating school. It was eerie seeing his own existence stretched out before him.

Theodosius Ulysses Bellamy, born in Arkhelios in a small section of land surrounded by dark churning water. Darkness surrounded him. He could feel the weight of the curse he had been born with just as intensely as he remembered it. It tied him to Abraham Helios Sr and the death that awaited him by a demon’s hand, to the curse seared into the flesh of Romanus Bellamy. Death and hatred surrounded Theo, clouding his vision. He felt the slow burning hatred of his ancestors, ancestors who harboured this hatred for Theo as well. They wanted him dead. He was supposed to be dead.

“Theo? Are you okay? You’re kind of creeping me out here.”

Remy’s words of concern faded into the background, irritating the young teen but not penetrating the haze he found himself in. There was something strong pulling to him and he needed to follow it with every molecule in his body, safety be damned. An image of his great-uncle Hunter Bellamy floated towards him, slowing him down. Hunter had been born Theo Helios and Theo himself had been named to honour this fact. He never really saw Hunter Bellamy due to his terrible relationship with Roman, but Theo could still sense his connection to the man. Their true names were both Theo which joined them both in blood and by name. Theo didn’t know the first thing about Hunter or his life, but the connection between them was strong.

He could feel the warmth of his father’s light burning in the castle down the hall, calling to him. Just as Ewan and Adam and Remy circled their father, Theo was called to his. Pain jolted through him as the memory of his curse wrapped around his body, seeking re-entry. This wasn’t right, the curse had been broken years ago, or so he’d believed. This all consuming darkness hadn’t left him. It called to every part of him, longing to be reunited. He had developed as a fetus with the darkness pressing itself into his very being; he could feel the inevitability of its return in his very soul. It had been a part of him that was amputated, but a still a part of him all the same.

Theo removed himself from the room somehow, whether by walking or teleporting or even just magically floating away from the Darktide family, he couldn’t be sure. He could hear laughter calling to him even stronger.

The princess was laughing at his father, who now had cupcake smeared along the edge of his coat and a frustrated expression.

The words Romanus Bellamy called to him, intertwining with the brilliant light standing beside him that spelled Victoriana. Victoriana had many names and many titles, but she was young and unguarded enough for Theo to see past those, far closer to her true name than he should ever be. Through Adam’s connection to his newly discovered half-brother, Theo had learned more about Ewan’s identity. He had a devastating suspicion about why he could see through the titles of the crown princess of Pleasantview. Of why she shone so brilliantly next to his father. He had gone searching for an answer to Adam’s family mystery and revealed a crushing answer of his own by accident. Just when he thought that his respect for his father couldn’t get any lower.

Theo was the half-brother of the future monarch of Pleasantview. His father had been hiding this secret all this time; hiding this shame. When was Theo going to find out about this? Was his father ever planning to tell him? Did his other father know?

He could feel the darkness that surrounded him pull him closer. It brushed against his eyes, swirling in his nostrils as he inhaled the anger and hurt and fear he had been made for. Perhaps this was why his teachers urged him to not actively practice blood magic until he was older. He remembered vividly being overwhelmed as a child when he ran away from home and tried practicing blood magic untrained. He had almost died back then. Maybe the curse he’d spent his entire life running away from would kill him now. It didn’t matter, not really. 

Theo could faintly hear the sound of his father’s voice call to him, but it was too late. He was underwater, drifting away into the comforting embrace of the curse that had been custom made just for him. He couldn’t feel the anger anymore; he couldn’t feel anything really. The last thing he remembered before losing consciousness was the sound of Adam’s voice, calling him desperately back to safety.