#repeating the same three tired jokes that aren’t even accurate

[takamoris]

Don’t fuck with us FFXIV Fans- We don’t even like the game.

[plague-of-insomnia]

🍋 🍌

Thank you for the ask 💕!!

🍋 Your descriptions are transportive

Wow... 😶☺️🥰 Thank you.

🍌I want to pick your brain about your creative process.

This will be a long post, FYI.

Chaos.

Haha, I’m joking.

Or am I?

Honestly, I’ve tried a lot of different things over the years, including outlining, and it never works for me bc my characters control the story. I really am just their interpreter, putting their lives and words onto virtual paper.

I’m a “character first” kind of writer (as opposed to a “plot first”), and that means I could probably tell you what any of the main cast of my stories ate for breakfast on the morning of their 8th birthday, but I couldn’t tell you what happens in the end, or sometimes even in the next chapter, bc I don’t know until I “get there.”

I’ve done my best to break my process down into 8 steps.

Step 1: The Idea

When I first get an idea, it usually comes to me in terms of a really vivid scene, like the chapter in Where Demons Hide called “Spark of Madness.” Usually that scene ends up in the beginning of the story but not normally the first chapter. Sometimes it’ll give me some story/plot to help me begin to flesh out the idea more, like in that example, where the main antagonist/conflict is introduced, though normally I have to work at it a bit more.

Step 2: Flesh Things Out

This is where I brainstorm, usually thinking about the main characters, who they are and what their flaws might be and what they might want to help me “find” the story. Sometimes I’ll make a character sheet (normally I don’t if I’m working alone bc I don’t have to). I do normally make a file for notes where I’ll jot down possible ideas about the characters and where the story might go.

I’ll be perfectly honest and say while this process does get me jump started, most of the notes I jot down I don’t end up using bc as the characters and story formulates, they both tend to change from my original ideas.

Step 3: Research

This can often be tied in with #2 and it’s not as if it just stops here. But as I often write about disabilities, mental and chronic illness, I like to make sure I can get as much info about the disease/condition I want to represent as possible so that I can:

represent it appropriately and accurately and

so I can find story/character details along the way.

For example, in my novel UnConventional, I was able to talk with a friend who is not only an orthotic user (and has been for years) but is an engineer of sorts so he understands very well *how* they work. By talking with him about various orthotics and his own struggles with them, I was able to find new plot and character details that help make the story more vivid and real and also allowed me to drive it in directions I may not have been able to otherwise.

Step 4: Write, Write, Write.

Two things you need to know about my writing process:

I usually do better when I write out of order.

I need to visualize the scene in my head to write it effectively. My “writers block” comes from not being able to see things in my head

My method isn’t the most efficient, but it’s how my brain works, and I’ve learned to go with it rather than fight it.

I brainstorm with myself (or a friend or my husband if possible) when necessary, or sometimes I’ll just close my eyes in a quiet place to allow myself to “see” the next series of scenes. Before I can forget the vivid movie I saw in my head, I do what I call a “scene sketch.”

I call it a “sketch,” bc just like a sketch is usually the foundation for a piece of art, mine are the basic structure for a completed scene. I do this also if I have a pretty solid idea but don’t have the time to write or I’m too tired or something like that, bc sketches allow me to simply sit down and flesh them out to create a completed scene.

They’re kind of like what an outline might be for other writers but less organized. Sketches are like a little treatment of a scene, including the basic setting, an idea of POV, and even dialog and body language, but jotted down really quickly without quotes or dialog tags. Sometimes there’ll be things like “maybe this happens” bc once I actually write the scene I’ll know if that idea feels right or not.

Here’s an example from a rejected chapter of WDH (I ended up going in a slightly different direction):

Seb answers when room service knocks. Bard is hovering, maybe bc he heard Seb’s scream. He sees the bad bite on Seb’s bare chest, sees he’s trembling and drowning more than ever, his eyes almost pleading for rescue. But when Bard asks if he’s OK he smiles and says yes, sir. Takes the food from the room service person and says he’s been ordered to wait on the guests personally. Shuts the door in Bard’s face.

Sometimes these sketches can be very detailed, other times it’s more of a general, quick jot of what happens or the scene I want to set. It depends on my brain and the scene.

I like to set goals based on scenes (or sometimes chapters), and do my best to complete a scene in its entirety if possible before I stop. If I can’t bc of time, then I’ll write a really brief sketch so I know what I need to do when I pick back up again so I won’t forget.

I’ve been writing and editing long enough that depending on the project I’m able to self-edit as I write. That doesn’t mean I don’t revise or edit later, but it saves some time overall as I am more aware of certain things than I used to be.

Because I write out of order, my process often entails being a puzzle master and piecing things together. Especially for something like Where Demons Hide, which has a lot of flashbacks, since I write those separately from the main story, I then have to figure out where they “belong.” I’d say 98% of the time for this fic I have already written the flashbacks before the chapter(s) they end up in.

My original serial fiction I write in a similar fashion, where I often will write scenes out of order and then assemble them into chapters later. So sometimes I’ll make a kind of “outline” of plot points that I need to cover. It’s not so much a fixed thing as a memory aid and place for me to put notes of ideas that might come to me that aren’t completely fleshed out.

Step 5: Rest

Once I’ve completed a chapter, I try to let it “rest” for at least a few days, if not longer. Especially if it was a long chapter or something that was difficult to write and took me awhile so I’ve been working on it for days or even weeks at a time.

I do this for three reasons:

“In process” brain lies often and says a scene/chapter sucks and I should just burn my computer/phone and take up accounting instead, and that the pacing is awful and it’s boring and lots of similar untruths.

Especially if the chapter took me a long time to finish because it’s lengthy or complicated or has difficult subject matter or whatever, it means there’s a good chance I’ve been working on it for days or even weeks and I’m SICK TO DEATH of it and never want to see it again, so taking a break from it is a welcome relief. It’s like taking a vacation after you’ve been working overtime for months. Sometimes I’ll do writing-adjacent things during this time, like reading, organizing/typing my notes, jotting down things I need to work on, reading/watching stuff that will energize and inspire me. Other times I work on another project or other scenes/chapters in the same project. Sometimes I’ll just take a break if I’m feeling burnt out or stressed.

I can come back to the project with fresh eyes, so that I can read it and see what things are actually good (suck it, in-process brain) or what things may still need work in a way I couldn’t do so soon after finishing.

Step 6: Revise

I revise in different ways depending on how much I feel something needs fixing. The first revision is my chance to see how the puzzle pieces knit together, work on scenes that I noticed aren’t pulling their weight or that need to be fleshed out. Sometimes this means I will completely, totally rewrite—and by that I mean “retype.” I open a fresh document, and referencing the original, start over. This allows me to streamline and better hone my language and ensure each scene is working hard.

This is something I do if I feel like a scene isn’t working as-is or I have a shit-ton of notes and comments on the first draft and it’s so chaotic I feel like I can’t focus anymore. This is especially helpful for dialog.

Other times the revisions are less drastic. Sometimes I means moving a scene around or deleting one that isn’t working. Sometimes it means finding all the times I’ve repeated the same word and fixing that, or fixing places where I’ve used the same sentence type too often.

Revision can be a very long process, depending on the quality of the first draft and what my goal is. If it’s just fan fic I’m doing for fun, then I don’t obsess too much: usually 1-2 read throughs and adjustments are OK. If it’s something I’m going to submit for publication, then that’s a different story bc the quality of the edit of your submitted draft makes a good impression (or a bad one).

Step 7: Beta Reader

If I have one, which I don’t always, then this is where I’ll send it to them. Usually what I want in a beta reader isn’t stuff like proof or copy editing, but rather “big picture” stuff. I want them to tell me: “this scene isn’t working” or “this feels contrived” or “I don’t like the main character.”

It can be frustrating and disheartening to get feedback that means I have to go back and do some major revising, but that’s why they’re there, bc often it’s either things I couldn’t see bc I’m too close to the story, or stuff I was in denial about (lol). Listening to my betas always leads to a better draft.

Step 8: Proofreading/Copyediting

The last step. I’ve done this professionally so I’m usually pretty good at finding typos and inconsistencies myself, but some people will hire someone like me to do that work bc they don’t have the skill or the time. Even if it’s “just for fun,” proofing is important bc it affects readability, and it’s embarrassing to me if I post something with glaring proof errors 😶.

~~~Anyway, that is roughly how my brain works. I don’t know if this is what you were expecting or wanting, but here it is!

[liannyeong]

a magic like love

Summary: most of her encounters with im jaebum revolves around her night patrols.

Word count: 7062

Pairing: Jaebum X OC

Warning(s): fluff?, written in lapslock (is that even a warning), not 100% accurate of the harry potter universe though

A/N: finally, i wrote a hogwarts au fic!!!! this fic is long overdue, i wrote majority of this fic last year, i think? but i got stuck.... but yes, finally it’s done! ^^ comments are welcomed ~ 

i.

the first time she encountered jaebum was at the viaduct a little before midnight. his legs dangled off the stoned parapet of the viaduct, his body directed at the great lake. at the sight, she boiled with fury. she stomped over the male and pulled him backwards by the collar with such a force that he landed onto the rough concrete of the floor with a loud thud.

"what are you doing out of bed in the middle of the night, perched on the parapet? are you trying to get yourself killed?" she fumed. but he only stared back with wide eyes, followed by a burst of laughter that got him rolling on the ground, clutching his stomach. her anger did not subside, but somehow, it steamed off just a little. there was something about the way his laughter rang in the air, the way his eyes formed crescents, the way his pearly white teeth was bared for her to see. there was just something about him that cooled off the anger in her a little. though she didn't understand what was so funny, especially when a minute ago he was attempting suicide.

"i think you misunderstood something, dear prefect," the male said as he wiped the tears in his eyes. "i wasn't attempting suicide. i was just looking at the beautiful scenery of the river and the sky."

the male nodded at the direction where he was previously perched on, standing up and dusting off the dirt from his robes. he brought himself close to the pillar and leaned his body against it, arms crossed over his chest as he gazed back at the scenery.

she followed his gaze, and hitched a breath. it was mesmerizing: the moonlight reflected on the river, creating sparkles that could rival the stars in the sky. the current of the river was fast, and the way the waves moved made it seem like the river was dancing under the moonlight, the sound of the flowing water serving as the music. it was weirdly romantic, she thought.

"it's beautiful, isn't it?" he spoke.

"yeah, it is," her words came out soft and in awe than she wanted it to. she blinked and remembered her patrol duties. she shook her head to break the trance, cleared her throat and spoke in the same cold tone as before. "nevertheless, it doesn't lessen the fact that you could have killed yourself if you were an inch closer to the edge."

"if," the male repeated, tone playful, a smirk on his lips.

she huffed in frustration. she glanced at his disheveled attire, half of his shirt tucked out from the force she had pulled him and his green and silver tie hanging loosely around his neck. she shook her head. "for looking like you were attempting suicide and for being out of bed at this late hour, you shall be sent to detention and i will make sure points are taken from slytherin."

the boy blinked in surprise, before he laughed. "what, are you serious? what would be the point of sending me to detention and deducting house points if i actually died?"

"so that the whole of hogwarts know of your stupidity. and your slytherin friends would kill you again." she responded nonchalantly. the look on his face was nothing but amusement. she reckoned he thought her weird, but she never cared anyway. "what's your name?"

"my name?" he echoed, eyebrows raised up high. "are you asking for my name?"

she stared into his eyes, frowning. "no, mine. your name, of course! who else?"

"you don't know me?" he questioned in disbelief.

"why would i know you?"

"are you living under a rock?"

"no, but i bet it'll be a much better option than knowing that people like you exist," she spat back. it was only her first week as a prefect and she had already met a student this troublesome. "name."

"im jaebum. sixth year," he answered monotonously, as if it has been rehearsed for many times. but with the way he was looking at her, she could tell he was expecting the name to click in her mind. but it never happened. she had no idea who he was.

"now that wasn't so hard, was it?" she retorted. she repeated his name in her head and made sure to engrave it in her mind so that she could keep her guard up when she meets him again.

"you... really don't know who i am, do you?" jaebum peered into her face, back bent a little forward. his arms crossed in front of him, and his eyes searched for certainty in hers. she blinked, taken aback by the way he was boring his eyes into hers.

"why should i? i don't get along with the meddlesome lot," she shot back without a smile. "now go back to bed before i add more detention hours."

jaebum let out a breath through his nose, then straightened his back, arms still crossed. there was a skeptical look on his face, coupled with what seemed like disbelief and confusion. nevertheless, he obeyed her orders and walked away, hands stuffed into the pockets of his robe.

//

("im jaebum? you mean the im jaebum?" younghyun gaped when she told him the earlier night's events.

"yes, im jaebum," she scoffed, annoyed at how younghyun seemed to be surprised at this revelation. "what's with that expression? who is he to you?"

"who is he to me?" he echoed. "you make it sound as if i know him by person."

she shrugged. "judging from your reaction, it seems you do."

"no... but everyone would have at least heard about him."

"why, is he a troublesome person?"

"what? no!" younghyun denies strongly. "he's the famous im jaebum, the best seeker across all teams and the slytherin quidditch captain! surely you've heard of him before?"

she shrugged again. "he sounds like trouble to me.")

ii.

"i'm starting to think you're doing this on purpose," she says when she spots the familiar shadow of the slytherin seeker and quidditch captain. no matter the number of times she told the male off, he never listens. it's already the umpteenth time she has caught him out of bed at night, when all students are supposed to be sound asleep. and it's always at the same spot that she catches him.

"off to bed, will you?" she orders, when she stops right where he is. he doesn't obey. instead he brings his legs up onto the stoned parapet and crosses them, his back leaning against the stoned wall. he turns his head from the river to the female, and there's a little glint of something she's not sure of in his eyes. then he smiles.

"then why aren't you in bed too?" he asks, tone playful.

she resists the urge to roll her eyes. she crosses her arms, looking at him quizzically. "off to bed, im jaebum," she orders again, ignoring his earlier joke.

"you weren't at hogsmeade today," jaebum switches to a completely different topic, his expression more stoic and rather... disappointed? she can't quite place it right.

but she's caught off guard at the sudden statement. how does he know she wasn't there? there's tons of people -- students and teachers and other visitors -- in the village. it'll be crazy if one tries to find a person in the mass of people.

she sighs, her fingers pinching her nose bridge. "get to bed or i will send you to detention."

jaebum remains where he is, the light breeze blowing across his black hair. he's biting his lower lip, and she doesn't know if it's out of habit or if he's trying to say something that he can't. she repeats, "go back to bed, jaebum." the male comes down from the parapet, and he's standing in front of her. "now."

"why didn't you go?" he asks, eyes on her and she suddenly feels as if she's stripped bare and naked. his eyes are on her face, yet she feels the urge to wrap her whole body -- her whole being -- with a blanket and hide away from his gaze. it doesn't feel right. she has always been strong enough to withstand the death glares from students, but in front of im jaebum, she turns into a pathetic, powerless girl, cowering for cover.

"because i just don't," she replies curtly. "now get back to bed."

"go with me next time. i'll make sure it'll be fun," jaebum offers.

it's not that she doesn't find hogsmeade trips fun. in fact, it's probably the best short getaway for every student including herself. the students get to go honeydukes where they can get their sweet tooth cravings filled, zonko's joke shop where they can get all sorts of ridiculous things and the three broomsticks inn and their famous butterbeer. it is fun, and she won't deny it, but her night patrol shifts are on saturdays. going to hogsmeade would only make her tired to patrol despite the fun it brings. that's why she rarely goes to hogsmeade: saving her energy is a much better option altogether.

"i can have fun even without you, thanks."

"but i can make it more fun," he insists, eyes glinting with... hope? she stashes the thought away, chastising herself for imagining things that may not be real. it must have shown on her face for jaebum throws his hands up in the air, surrendering. "just saying. you look like you need to loosen up a little." jaebum brushes past her, and it's normal for her to watch the students until they enter their dorms. as a precaution, of course. though she thinks her eyes linger on the male's form longer than she ever does on any other student.

"think about it," jaebum says as he twirls around, walking backwards. that same hopeful glint in his eyes appears once more, and even though the distance between them gets larger, that look on his face doesn't dwindle. he waves a hand, bidding goodbye to the prefect before turning back to walk properly.

she lets out a sigh when he's finally out of sight. she shakes her head as she tries to make sense of the male's behavior. he's oddly confusing, she thinks.

iii.

"did you watch the match today?" jaebum asks when she approaches the male at the same spot, his eyes searching for answers in hers. the glint in his eyes brighten a little, and for a moment, she thinks it's the same hopeful look she saw back then. but how can it be? what could he possibly hope for?

"no, i didn't. i had to finish up my assignments." it's the truth. she hadn't had enough time to completely settle all of her piling work, so she had to sacrifice the free time in her weekends to finish them off. she's still haven't got to the part of revising though. the o.w.l.s. are drawing nearer (they're actually three months away), she can't afford to lose any time not studying. she needs to get her grades if she wants to be a healer.

"oh," he says, deflated. "thought so. didn't see you at the stands."

was he expecting her to actually watch the match? she knows nothing about quidditch although younghyun and his friends keep gushing over it during their mealtimes. but her mind starts replaying jaebum's last sentence. did he actually searched for her in the stands?

"wow, i'm surprised you actually notice," she says finally, feigning her disinterest. she can't let her curiosity show. if anything, being a prefect taught her that feigning disinterest reaps more answers than showing interest.

jaebum blinks at her and she watches as his eyes go wide as if he just said something that wasn't supposed to be told. in the dimness of the place, she can see how his cheeks turn a shade darker, how he's blatantly avoiding her eyes, how his expression turned bashful. it's weird, she thinks, but it's oddly endearing. who knew this supposedly charming slytherin captain could be embarrassed.

"go back to your dorm," she says again, trying to save the guy from being speechless.

jaebum nods curtly before hopping off the parapet, dusting off the dirt on his robes.

"you know, um--" he starts, his mouth left gaping open like a fish, rather reluctant to continue. "i'd like it if you can attend my next match." jaebum's cheeks turn much pinker, and she blinks at his reaction, highly confused. he's nervous, she can tell, from the way he's scratching the back of his neck and averting her eyes. it really is weird, she thinks. and it's even weirder that she finds him adorable.

"b-but if you can't then i guess it's fine too," he continues, stuttering as he goes. he steals a glance at her face, and flushes even harder when their eyes meet. she wants to laugh at the whole situation, wants to tease the male but it's totally out of her character. she has made sure she'd be the cold and strict prefect despite being a hufflepuff -- the kinder house of the four.

"well, um-- good night then," jaebum excuses himself. he raises his hand, awkwardly waving a small goodbye before walking toward the slytherin dormitory.

"seriously," she mutters under her breath before glancing up at the night sky. it's a full moon tonight. the moon ever so round and white, illuminating the dark sky a little alongside the small twinkling stars. the sky has always been beautiful, but for some reason, its beauty is amplified multi-folds tonight. her hand goes over to her chest, where her heart is. it's beating faster than usual, and it feels lighter than normal. she glances at the direction where jaebum had headed, and her heart skips a beat. she frowns, wondering if the answer she got is an answer at all. she turns on her heels and heads to the other end of the corridor to continue her patrol, thoughts plagued by one person and his flushed cheeks.

//

she reckons it's because of the trait of loyalty of her house that drives her to attend the quidditch match of slytherin against gryffindor. she reckons it's because she dislikes breaking promises, though she never did explicitly made any promise of attending. even younghyun's in shock and in disbelief at the sight of the female stepping foot into the quidditch grounds.

"did you hit your head somewhere?" the male questions, gawking at her.

"shut up, younghyun. i just need to loosen a bit."

"you? loosening a bit?" younghyun echoes, before bursting into a fit of laughter. "this is so unlike you! something must have happened!" he exclaims so loud, she just wants to shove him down the stands and onto the pitch. he leans in closer, whispering lowly, "tell me, who is this person you're seeing?"

"i'm not seeing anybody," she replies as she rolls her eyes.

"oh really? you seem to be finding for somebody though?"

she flushes. is it that obvious? she has been craning her neck to find for jaebum. she thought she had made it seem subtle, but maybe it's all in her head.

"there is somebody, isn't there?" younghyun smirks, clearly enjoying the whole situation.

"shut up, younghyun."

"fine, fine," the male waves his hand, dismissing the whole topic.

the quidditch players from both teams rise up in the air, hands tightly gripping onto the handle of their broomsticks. it's not hard to spot im jaebum among his team: he's the only one with full confidence, back straight, shoulders broad, exhibiting an aura full of superiority. she has never seen him lead a team before, and judging from the way he goes to each and every team member, a hand on their shoulder as he speaks, she reckons he's a good leader. he goes back to his position, higher than any of them -- something seekers usually do in order to get a better view of where the golden snitch could be, according to younghyun. he's far, but she can't help but feel the weight of his gaze as he looks at the stands. maybe he's searching for her, she wonders. but no, how can it be? why would he even do that...

but true enough, she notices that his eyes linger more at her direction, and either she must've gone out of her mind or she's dreaming, for she sees him smile wide. thoughts be damned, she really thinks she imagined it. he's too far up anyway, it's impossible that he's smiling at her. there's tons of other people anyway, he can't possibly spot her, can he?

the game begins, and the crowd cheers, but she's so fixated on watching jaebum fly around the pitch in search of the golden snitch. she doesn't take her eyes off him despite wanting to. it's like he has a magnetic pull so that all of her attention is on him. there's something about the way he flies in the air, beautifully elegant as if he's made to fly on the broomstick. wind runs through his hair, pulling it back, his robes fluttering behind. he drops and soars, zooming around the pitch.

and then his arm outstretched, body leaned forward and suddenly the game ends.

"slytherin wins!" the announcer's voice booms over the area, and the winning house roars.

her eyes are still on jaebum. he pumps his fist up, the golden ball in his hand. his teammates fly towards him and pat him on the back. the cheers from their house increases in volume, and the team flies over to their fellow housemates and supporters, hyping them up further. jaebum seems busy with that, she doubts he actually noticed her presence. she tries her best not to smack herself in the face, internally berating herself for actually thinking that he'd noticed. younghyun is already nudging her to leave, and she decides to follow.

but she hears a whoosh of the wind and the calling of her name.

she turns around, eyes meeting jaebum's. he's still on his broomstick, hovering in the air. "you came," he says, lips curled up into a smile.

"i'm not one to disappoint people," she responds.

"how did you find the game?" he asks, looking more sheepish.

"it was cool," she answers truthfully.

"was it?"

she nods. "you were cool." she doesn't know what made her say it, but she thought she ought to let him know. besides, her attention was never on the game. it was only on im jaebum. her words must have surprised jaebum for his eyes go wide and he's blinking at her as if she said something strange. but then she notices how he's looking down, and how his face has turned red, from the tip of his ears to his neck.

"oh um-- thanks," he murmurs quietly.

a cough interrupts them and she nearly snaps her head to look at younghyun's smug face. whatever it is, it's better not to continue talking to jaebum right in front of her friend. he'll tease her endlessly.

jaebum seems to have the same idea for he says, "i guess i, um-- see you later."

and with that, she watches him fly back to his friends.

younghyun whistles to gain her attention. "you didn't tell me that somebody is im jaebum," younghyun comments.

"he's not."

"then why did he say, 'see you later'? what's that supposed to mean?" younghyun persists, nudging her elbow.

"beats me," she lies, shrugging.

younghyun only groans in frustration.

iv.

it's nearly the end of her fifth year in hogwarts, and she's been cramming all her studies back to back, with little or no rest. her days are spent on school, saturday nights on prefect duties, and the rest of her free time is spent on studying. she doesn't let herself rest, not with the o.w.l.s. coming up in a month's time. she has to do well, to know that her foundation is strong before moving onto the more advanced subjects in her final two years. she wants to leave with great grades for o.w.l.s. and n.e.w.t.s, and that can only be achieved with great hard work and patience. totally fitting for a hufflepuff.

but in pursuit of good academics, she neglects her health: she doesn't eat much, nor does she sleep enough. her body has been growing weaker, and while she knows she's getting sick, she doesn't care. she keeps her bad routine, and pushes her body to the point it was enough.

she wakes up to a burning body, sweat trickling all over her body. it's so hot and she pushes her blanket away. her eyes feel tired and she can't seem to open her eyes at all -- hell, she can't even move a muscle -- so she feels for her wand at her night stand. she directs her wand up, aiming at the ceiling of her four poster bed. "glacius," she croaks weakly. her wand conjures ice and it shoots up at the ceiling, before falling down onto her bed. it cools off her body temperature almost immediately, her teeth starts chattering furiously. she curls herself up, resisting the urge to grab her discarded blanket. she lets the ice land onto her bare skin, and she falls back asleep, almost numb.

she lets her body rest, totally not touching any of her study material, nor attempt to go for her patrol duties. her friends were understanding, and even took care of her, helping her take down notes in class, bring food from the great hall. she hasn't step foot out of the hufflepuff dormitory for nearly four whole days.

so the morning when she felt way better than before, she decided to fall back into her normal routine. her friends rejoice when she tags along for breakfast. and all seems to fall back into place.

until her eyes landed onto jaebum's across the hall.

he doesn't break the contact, holds his gaze and unblinking as if he's afraid that she would disappear in a second. she doesn't know why she had to give him some form of assurance, but that's exactly what she did. she shoots him a small smile, subtle to her friends so that they wouldn't know she's actually smiling at someone, but obvious enough so that jaebum actually notices. she sees it all happen in the great distance, how jaebum's gaze softens and his lips curl up a little to return a smile. he gives her a small nod too, a silent communication that she understands at once.

"didn't see you around last few days," jaebum says later that night. he's perched on the same parapet, on the same spot again. only this time, he's not facing the river - he's facing the corridor. it's as if he has been waiting for her to come, and for some reason, her heart skips a beat at the thought. "did something happen?"

"i got sick, that's all," she replies. "was there no prefect patrolling this area when i was gone?"

"there was, but i casted myself some disillusionment charm," the male says.

"how unfortunate that you didn't get caught. maybe that way you'd stop being out after bed hours," she sighs.

jaebum laughs. "but you wouldn't like that, would you?"

"huh?"

"you would have done that already if you wanted me gone so bad," he continues. his eyes meet hers, and she feels a shiver down her spine with the way he's straight into her very soul. "but you didn't."

"in fact," he pauses as he pushes himself off the parapet, hands shoved into the pockets of his robes as he strides towards her. in an instant, he's right in front of her, inches away from her face. he's bent over slightly, his eyes boring into her face, a smirk tugging on his lips. "i think you're enjoying this... little secret of ours."

"what are you on about?" she questions, eyebrows frowning.

jaebum doesn't prod any further though the smug look on his face is still there. "anyway," he starts, straightening his back. she lets out a breath she didn't even know she was holding. "i hope you're feeling better now. i know the o.w.l.s. are getting to you but try not to overwork yourself," he continues. "you'll do well, i'm sure of it."

"i'll make sure to stay out of your way," jaebum offers. "for the peace of your mind, i shall not break the rules."

"jaebum, i-- um-- thank you," she lets out. although jaebum staying out of her way is something she would want so bad, but why does she feel sad about the idea of it? why does her heart sinks at the idea of not seeing him on her night patrols? perhaps it's because this secret meeting of theirs has been occurring for months, such that it has become -- inevitably -- a part of her normal routine. not seeing him on her patrols will make her rather queasy. "but you don't have to do that. after all, isn't this our little secret?"

jaebum stares at her, expression completely blank. he must be stumped, totally not expecting such a response from her. so she continues, "like you said, i do enjoy this secret very much." it's so embarrassing to admit it aloud and right in front of jaebum himself but what else can she do to bring the message across? she really doesn't want this meeting of theirs to be put on hold -- or worse, entirely stopped. it's a little unfair to the other students that she would ruthlessly punish with detentions, but jaebum hasn't truly been a nuisance. if anything, she finds their encounters oddly calming.

"t-that's nice to hear," he stutters. the moonlit corridor doesn't allow her to see the flush of his skin but the way the back of his hand is raised to his mouth tells her that he's flustered. just how easy it is to turn the male into a blushing fool, she thinks. she finds it amusing that the charming and popular slytherin quidditch captain becomes very adorable when he's flustered. the ever so confident im jaebum can actually stammer. he really is adorable.

"alright, um-- good luck for your studies then," jaebum says after he's composed himself.

"thank you. goodnight, jaebum."

he shoots her a toothy grin, and bids her goodbye before heading to the slytherin dormitory.

(at the end of their examinations, they keep in contact through letters though they don't write to each other frequently. she finds out he lives a couple of streets from hers in plymouth.

she ends up scoring all 'outstanding's, writing jaebum a letter about it. even before her owl could reach her home, jaebum apparates into her neighborhood, throwing rocks at her window pane. she got annoyed, for she thought it was some naughty kid's doing. but when she peeks out, her eyes go wide at the sight of the male's grin. he beckons her to come out, and she does.

"what are you doing here?" she says the moment she steps out of her front porch.

"to congratulate you, of course!" he exclaims.

"but you didn't have to apparate all the way here," she says.

"it's just a couple of streets down, it's not far," jaebum dismisses it with a wave of his hand. "anyway, i told you you'd do well! i'm so proud of you!" he exclaims, toothy grin on his lips. he claps a hand on her shoulder. the touch takes her by surprise, but her cheeks go warm and her heart starts beating faster. her head goes dizzy, and she wonders if she suddenly caught a fever.

"thanks, i guess," she murmurs, cheeks still blazing, body still hyper-aware of his hand. "do you wanna come inside for a while?" she offers. "apparition can be quite tiring, right?"

jaebum's hand slips off her shoulder as he laughs. "it's not so bad, actually. besides, i can't stay."

"i see," she nods. "i'll see you around then."

"yeah, see you." jaebum smiles. she watches as the male disapparates in front of her eyes.

jaebum pops outside her house more frequently afterwards, throwing rocks at her window pane to announce his arrival. they hang out more often: taking a stroll down the street, chatting about whatever topic that comes to mind. over the summer vacation, they grow closer to one another, and she finally realizes she never had a fever. it was a sign of her developing feelings for the male.

on the other hand, younghyun berates in his letter about the unfair treatment for she never turns up for any of his plans.)

v.

the triwizard tournament falls in her sixth year at hogwarts. and when there's the tournament, there's bound to be the yule ball in the winter break. she doesn't see the importance of it at all: she would have opted out of the event if she could. but she was given the duty to watch over the event, in case some students decide to let loose and wreck the school. she didn't bother asking around for a partner since she would be eyeing each student - especially the troublemakers - intently like a hawk instead of jumping around like a lunatic to the beat of the music. she decided she will stay at the corner of the hall, in the dark, so no one would be able to see her at all. that way, she could easily pick out the meddlesome ones.

it's downright filthy, how the students turned into teens possessed with violent spirits. they jump about, hands up in the air, throwing fists or just making a rock'n'roll sign as the muggles called it. she has her arms crossed, and the noise in the hall annoys her to no end. she's not a fan of parties nor any atrocious behavior, so she feels the urge to stop the barbaric party once and for all. she could have made a complain to any of the professors -- the headmaster even -- but all of them seem to be having the time of their life.

all she could do is sigh.

"looks like you need some company," a voice speaks next to her in the shadows. she didn't jump in surprise, but rather, her heart skips a beat. she recognizes the voice so well: one that she has grown to like.

jaebum slips next to her, letting their shoulders bump a little.

"what are you doing here? you should be enjoying yourself with your friends," she comments, turning her head at the male.

he's outrageously handsome tonight: he's donned in a double breasted black suit, his black hair slicked to the back. she never truly realized how strong his build is, for the hogwart's robes have always been a little oversized and loose, covering all the edges and curves. but with his appearance now, his shoulders are broad, his chest wide, dress pants hugging his muscular thighs. it takes her great control not to gawk at the male.

thankfully, he's not looking at her, eyes focused on the center of the hall where the other students are having a blast.

"it's fine. my friends are all having the time of their life with their date." he nods at the direction of the crowd.

"what about your date?" she asks, trying to steady her tone so that he wouldn't catch on the little disappointment in her voice.

there's a long pause, and she lifts her eyes at the male's face.

"i don't have one," he says finally, voice a little soft.

"what? why? surely there's a long list of girls wanting you to take them as your date!"

"but they're not the one i want to bring as a date."

"why, did the person of your interest got asked out by another?" she jokes, masking her true feelings.

"no, in fact she's--"

the sound of an electric guitar screeches in the air, followed by the rhythm of the drums. the music suddenly changes into a rock genre. the rough transition cuts their conversation, and with the loud music, it's tough to hear any person's voice. at the same time, she's grateful that she didn't need to hear his explanation. it may sting her heart.

but he tugs her by her wrist and leads her out of the hall.

"what's wrong?" she asks when they enter the quieter corridors of the school. jaebum doesn't let go of her wrist, as he shifts to stand in front of the female.

there's hesitance in his face, as if he's about to speak something heavy.

"jaebum?" she calls out, peering into his face.

"actually, i--" he tries, but words halt from his mouth. "nevermind."

she crosses her arms, eyebrows knitted together. "spit it out, jaebum."

"nothing. it's just that... i dragged you out because there was a guy who kept eyeing on you."

her frown deepens. "that's it?"

"what? you don't know what they're like! i'm just making sure nothing'll happen to you--"

she scoffs, amused. "i'm not a child. jaebum. i can handle it."

he actually smiles. "i know you can but you're busy taking care of others, so i shall be the one to take care of you."

she wants to open her mouth and ask why you? but decides against it. she allows herself to enjoy this moment with him. it's not everyday that jaebum accompanies her on her prefect duties.

"fine, but being around me can get boring," she warns.

"that's fine with me. i had too much fun that it's boring. so boring is the new fun," jaebum jokes.

she shrugs. "suit yourself."

vi.

"what are you doing out here? your big day's tomorrow morning!" she says when she approaches the male. his knees are drawn to his chest, his chin resting atop of his knee cap. for the first time, he looks small and vulnerable in her eyes. perhaps it's because of the uncertainty of the future, not knowing what'll happen in the real world. graduating from school meant no protective bubble, no place to fall back to, no second chances in life.

"it doesn't feel real," he murmurs, not turning his head, his gaze fixed on the river.

"you're finally graduating, huh?" she says, taking the spot opposite him. she mirrors his posture, leaning back against the wall, body directed at him.

"yeah, unbelievably," he says softly that she almost missed it.

there's a pregnant pause in the air. she knows she's not supposed to get comfortable like this. she knows she's got a patrol to do. but at the same time, she wants to spend more time with the male. after all, he's graduating tomorrow. there won't be any chances like this anymore.

she shifts her legs to sit cross-legged on the parapet. "i'll miss you, jaebum," she breaks the silence, looking at her hands on her lap. "and our late night talks here."

she smiles fondly at the memories over the two years that she's been appointed a prefect. from the first night she met jaebum, not knowing he's one of the popular students in school, until this very last night, a lot of things have changed. their meetings weren't daily, but it was enough to bring them close.

it was enough for her to harbor feelings for him.

but maybe not enough for something to actually develop between them.

"promise me you'll write," she says, eyes lifting up to look at his face.

"of course," jaebum responds almost immediately.

she nods. she lets her eyes linger on his face, memorizing each and every detail of his features for the last time. she engraves this memory in her mind, so that whenever she misses him, she can just conjure it easily. she shifts herself again, her legs dangling over the edge. she pauses, wondering if she should even say something else. if it's a good idea to let her feelings known on the night of his big day. but she thinks about the memories, and decides it wouldn't be a nice way to conclude this last meeting. so she slips off the parapet, onto the corridor. she smiles at him as she congratulates, "happy graduation, jaebum."

she turns on her heels, taking a step away from the male. she barely reaches the end of the corridor when jaebum calls out her name, breathless. "wait--"

she twirls around, looking at him expectantly.

"i--" his mouth stills. she watches as he takes a deep breath and strides over. standing right in front of her, just an arm's distance away, his eyes have darken. there's seriousness in his face and it scares her a little.

"i've been meaning to say this to you since the yule ball," he begins. "but i never got the chance to cause i chickened out. but right now, it's probably my last chance so..."

he takes another breath before flicking his eyes to hers. "i like you."

the words spill out from his mouth like a spell, putting her in a trance. she blinks up at him, and merlin's beard, she doesn't even know how she looks like now.

"i like you and i know i won't be around for your final year but i won't stop trying to woo you," jaebum blabbers on. "i'll write you everyday if i have to, i'll apparate in front of you if need be--"

"jaebum, don't," she interjects. his expression falls, as if he just got scolded. but she flashes him a small smile as she admits shyly, "you don't have to, since i already have the same feelings for you."

she sees it all clearly of how his face morphs into the happiest expression she ever saw: his eyebrows raised, his eyes widened, his lips curled up into a wide smile that she reckons could have torn his lips apart.

"i-- you-- wow um--" he stutters, losing his coherence in forming a proper sentence.

"please wait for me, jaebum," she says. "a year can be long so... please wait for me."

he smiles fondly at her. "always." she nods, and then she feels herself being pulled into a hug. jaebum's arms wrap around her body, and she lets herself bask in his warm embrace. she slips her arms around his waist, tightening the hold.

("jaebum, you gotta let go of me. i still got a patrol to do," her voice gets muffled from the way jaebum presses her to his chest. she hears him let out a sigh, reluctant to let go.

"will i see you tomorrow?" he asks once they've pulled apart. nevertheless, he keeps his hands on her shoulders.

she shakes her head. "i'm afraid not. you'll be leaving by the boat, while i'll be in the carriages."

the look in jaebum's eyes is pure disappointment, to which she couldn't help but coo at him. "we can always meet back in plymouth."

the male just nods. he pulls her back into another hug before letting her go for her prefect duties. still, he was reluctant to let her go. only after much persuasion did he finally let her slip out of his sight.)

vii.

her final and seventh year breezes past, nothing special. jaebum and her have been exchanging letters frequently, that even younghyun clicks his tongue in disapproval when her owl drops jaebum's letter in her hands during breakfast.

"look at you being so giggly now. i kinda want the old you back," younghyun complains, throwing her a disgusted look when she only gives him a cheeky smile as a reply.

she spends time with jaebum physically in her hogsmeade trips, and during the school vacations. it's the only time she looks forward to amidst all the preparation for n.e.w.t.s. though stories of jaebum's experiences as a hit wizard only fuels her drive to become a healer. he hasn't been in and out of st mungo's hospital, but he does have a bruises here and there every single time they meet.

just like in his graduation ceremony, the male didn't attend hers. instead, he apparates into her room the night she arrives home. clicking the door shut, she throws herself onto the male, wrapping her arms around his neck, and the sudden momentum causes jaebum to lose balance and stumble onto her bed on his back. she doesn't let go, doesn't move away, but nuzzles her face into the crook of his neck. jaebum lets out a breathy laugh. his hands rest on the small of her back.

she props herself up on her elbows to look at the male's face. the close proximity of their faces amplifies the sound of each and every breath they take, and her heart speeds up. just an inch and their lips could touch. jaebum shoots her a toothy grin, eyes sparkling with pride as he says, "happy graduation."

"thank you," she returns. and she ducks back down into the crook of his neck.

"so you're gonna be a healer now?" jaebum asks. she can feel each of his words vibrating against her skin from the position they're in.

she hums.

"then you'll be seeing me around in st mungo's," he jokes.

she pulls herself up and sits next to his hip, slapping his thigh as she shifts. "will you please take care of yourself? don't try to get yourself killed please."

jaebum laughs heartily. and it reminds her of the night she first met him. "i think you misunderstood something, dear prefect," the male teases. "i have never attempted suicide. it's just unfortunate that my job requires my life on the line."

it may sound like a serious and unfunny situation, but she knows better than that. a smile tugs at the corner of her lips as she argues, "nevertheless, it doesn't lessen the fact that you could have killed yourself if you're not careful."

jaebum throws his hands up to surrender. "alright, alright. i won't, now that i have someone to come home to." he shoots her a wink, and her cheeks burn at the cheesy remark.

she throws herself onto jaebum again, tucking herself under his chin. she smiles against his skin, contented with how her life has turned out to be. graduating from school and entering the real world is a scary transition, but she reckons it'll all be fine. now that a magic called love has been cast.

[edogawatranslations]

999: Alterna (2) - Part 5, Chapters 4-6

Table of Contents | Previous: Part 5, Chapters 1-3

Chapter 4

Clover’s sudden words took me aback.

“Esper... You talkin’ ‘bout someone with psychic powers or somethin’?” Seven snorted in laughter. “If that was true, I’d teleport with you outta this ship right now.”

“I’m not joking. I think you might have the power of precognition.”

“What gives you that idea?”

“Experiencing déjà vu is one form of precognition. You said you’ve seen this operating room before, right? That’s probably because you’ve perceived what happened today in a dream.”

“Yeah, right.”

“But you were also the first one to notice that my brother couldn’t see!”

I didn’t necessarily believe in precognition, but as Clover said, Seven was the first one to point out Snake’s blindness. Until Snake admitted it, I hadn’t noticed anything off about his eyes.

“That’s not precognition. It’s a detective’s intuition -” Seven froze. His eyes opened wide and stared off into space. “...Detective?”

Repeating the word that stumbled out of his mouth, Seven brought his hand to his forehead. His head must have started throbbing again.

“Was I a detective?” He struggled to recall something, but it didn’t seem to end well. “Damn. I can’t remember.”

He shook his head with great force. Large beads of sweat streamed down his forehead, reaching his cheek and the back of his neck.

“Please. Use your powers to figure out where my brother is!” Clover begged with puppy dog eyes.

“Sorry, but all I’ve got is a big body. I don’t got psychic powers or nuthin’. Besides, stuff like that doesn’t even exist, right?” Seven answered bluntly, while wiping away the continuous stream of sweat with the back of his hand.

“You don’t believe in precognition?” Clover asked, raising her voice. “Even though there are tons of clairvoyants in the world?”

“They’re all frauds.”

“Sure, some of them might be frauds, but there are plenty of people who aren’t!” Clover got worked up, her voice turning into a yell. “Don’t you know? Someone even accurately predicted the sinking of the Titanic!”

“What? The hell you sayin’?”

“It’s not a lie. It’s written right there in a book published a whole fourteen years before the incident.”

I had known about that. It was a novella titled Futility, written by an American author named Morgan Robertson. In it, a large passenger liner sank after colliding with an iceberg.

If that was where the similarities stopped, then it would easily be brushed off as mere coincidence. But somehow, the name of the ship, the ocean route, the time of disembarkation, the specifications of the ship - the length, displacement, top speed, the number of passengers and crew, even the number of lifeboats equipped to the ship - all of it was eerily similar to the characteristics of the Titanic. From the location of the accident, to the reason behind the incident, even the damaged parts of the ship - it was almost as if the scene was elaborately sketched out by someone who had witnessed the accident with his own eyes.

...Huh?

I felt dumbfounded.

It happened again. Why do I know these things?

“What’s wrong? Junpei? Your face don’t look so good. You tired?”

I snapped back to the present and saw Seven scrutinizing my face.

“No... It’s nothing.”

I shook my head vigorously. Knowledge of the Titanic seemed to flow effortlessly into my mind, like search results on a computer. If I told them the truth, I would quickly be labeled a person with ESP. It was probably better for me to keep quiet.

“Let’s find that pink key,” I said, changing the subject. I took the key to the medicine cabinet from Seven’s hand and opened the glass door.

“Seven, please tell me. Where is my brother?”

Still unwilling to let it go, Clover continued pestering Seven.

“We gotta open that door first. If you wanna see your brother, help us find that key.”

As I carefully took out bottles of medicine from the cabinet, Seven’s perplexed voice reached my ears. Since the labels were all written sideways, I couldn’t figure out what was written on them.

After moving all of the bottles from the bottom shelf of the cabinet onto the ground, I peeked inside and noticed a small key.

“Found it!” I yelled as I grabbed the key. Seven and Clover quickly rushed over.

“Well done, Junpei,” Seven said, patting my back with force so great that I started coughing.

“But that key... isn’t the right color,” Clover pointed out. She was correct. The door was painted pink, but the key I found was yellow.

I tried using the key on the door, but the shape didn’t quite fit, and it got caught halfway in the keyhole. Our excitement was short-lived.

Giving in to frustration, I attempted to hurl the key onto the ground. However, my grip was weak, and the key flew out of my hand towards the medicine bottles. It hit one of the vials I had placed on the ground dead on, causing the glass to shatter into tiny pieces.

“...Oh.” A sigh escaped my lips. Just how much luck did I have? A pink key appeared in the center of the spilled liquid. It must have been hidden inside the vial.

Right as I was about to step forward to pick up the key, white smoke began to spout vigorously from the wet floor. The liquid must have been one that vaporizes at room temperature.

The scent of sweet olives filled the air. I had smelled the same scent very recently.

The image of the figure in the gasmask popped into my head. The canister he held in his right hand... The white smoke that erupted out of it...

All of the blood in my body suddenly ran cold.

This was the scent of the anesthetic gas I inhaled at that time.

Both Seven and Clover seemed to have reached the same conclusion.

“This ain’t good! Hold your breath and run!”

Before Seven could finish his sentence, I had cupped my mouth and taken off.

Chapter 5

Returning the way we came into the room, we burst into the hallway.

I shut the door behind me and slumped my body against the wall, breathing heavily.

“That smell...” Clover murmured.

“Yeah, there’s no doubt about it. It’s the anesthetic gas Zero put us to sleep with.”

The white smoke seeped into the hallway through the gaps around the door. It would only be a matter of time before the whole area was filled.

“We got no choice. We gotta run back in there holdin’ our breaths, and get that pink door open. You two ready?” Seven said, taking off his beanie and bringing it down to his mouth.

“But what about the question?” Clover asked, her voice quivering.

I patted her shoulder. “Don’t worry. We’ll get the answer by checking the label of the broken vial.”

“Alright, let’s divide up our roles,” Seven said. “You two run to that pink door. I’ll go pick up that key and toss it over. Then I’ll read out what’s written on the label, and you two punch that into the screen.”

Clover and I nodded simultaneously. If things went smoothly, we would be able to get into the next room within ten seconds or so. We could definitely hold our breaths for that long.

“Got it? Then let’s go.”

“Wait.” Clover stopped Seven, and pulled out something resembling a pendant from her pocket. She held it close to her chest and closed her eyes in prayer.

“Whatcha got there?”

“It’s a charm.”

Clover opened her hands, revealing a piece of silver in the shape of a four-leaf clover. Didn’t Santa have an accessory like that too?

“You see, each leaf on a four-leaf clover has a meaning to it: hope, faith, love, and luck. ‘You must not ever lose hope. What’s important is to have faith, and to have love. When all of those conditions are met, good luck is never far behind.’ My brother taught me that.”

“Can I see that for a second?” I asked.

After Clover handed me the piece of silver, I turned it over. The letter <R> was engraved on the back.

“Did you get this from Santa?”

“Huh? Why do you ask that?”

“Oh, it’s just that he had the same thing.”

“What? So Santa was also part of that experiment nine years ago-”

“We’re runnin’ outta time. We gotta go.” Seven’s deep voice cut Clover off.

...That experiment nine years ago?

What Clover said intrigued me, but our top priority was getting out of here. The white smoke was slowly but surely filling up the hallway.

“Three... Two...”

With his hand on the doorknob and a nervous expression on his face, Seven started counting down.

“One...”

I took a deep breath.

“Zero!”

On that signal, the door flung open.

Chapter 6

The room was so utterly white that I couldn’t see where I was going.

Pulling Clover by the arm, I pushed forward to the target door, bumping my shoulder against the wall multiple times along the way.

“Junpei! I’m tossin’ the key over!”

Amidst the white haze, I saw a large, dark silhouette. From that direction, a pink key flew at me in a parabolic arc. As soon as I caught it, I thrusted it into the keyhole.

The screen displayed the question. I pressed the <ANSWER> button, and our bracelets began to flash.

“Seven, the answer!” I yelled.

“Gimme a minute. The smoke’s blockin’ it so I can’t see... Here it is.”

“Hurry!”

I felt my breathing getting heavier by the second.

“I’m no good at English. S... Sop...”

“Soporil!” Clover shouted. “The drug that Ace injected into himself earlier! Soporil was written on the capsule!”

“That’s right. Soporil - that’s gotta be it!” Seven’s voice echoed out from within the mist.

The top of my head started throbbing due to a lack of oxygen. I was close to my limit.

Filled with hope, I typed in <Soporil> and pressed the Enter key.

The detonation timer stopped, and the door swung open.

“Seven, the door’s open! Hurry up!”

The three of us stumbled over one another as we flew through the door. After taking a deep breath to replenish my oxygen supply, I shut the door behind me. Fortunately, this door closed perfectly and had no gaps, preventing the white smoke from leaking out.

I looked around. A dim and dreary hallway stretched endlessly before my eyes.

“...I need a break,” Clover said, clutching her chest in pain while crouching on the cold floor.

“Then wait here. Junpei, you look after Clover. I’m gonna continue lookin’ around.” With those words, Seven dashed down the hallway.

Watching as his figure shrank, I let out a big sigh. Even though we were able to safely overcome the danger, my heart still felt clouded.

Just how many more times will we have to taste this anxiety?

I had a feeling that the goal was still far away from us.

However, the time limit was the only thing that was closing in.

Next: Part 5, Chapters 7-9

[ask-the-phan-site]

Phan Cam: End of Summer

WARNING: This post may be long. Also, because I never really learned what year it was when Prince of Stride took place, most information on characters my not be accurate. (Example: The series took place in 2016 or 2017, meaning the whole Stride Club would have already graduated or that Nana Sakurai would be the only member left in her Senior Year by now. But I’ll de-age them a little so there would be a reason for all of them to be there. If there’s a next time, I’ll make it more accurate.)

>Central Street, Shibuya.

Announcer: He going, going... HE MAKES IT! Takeru Fujiwara finishes first and takes the win for Honan Academy!

>The crowd goes wild. Takeru’s team comes to congratulate him.

Way to go, Takeru!

Yes, that was great!

... I could have gone faster.

Don’t say that. You were plenty fast.

Takeru: Is that so?

True. But still, be glad we made it in 1st.

Takeru: ... Fine.

(coming up) Excuse me, do you mind if I can get an interview with you?

Ayumu: Well, I suppose I can spare a word or two.

(coming up) Just try not to say anything that could make the school look bad.

Ayumu: (suddenly nervous) Umm. Well...

?????: Fine, I’ll help.

Ayumu: (relieved) Really? Thank you, senpai.

Just helping an old teammate.

That’s true. The rest of you can rest.

Riku: Thanks, guys.

Nana: Hey, we should check in on Shiho. It’s almost the girl teams’ turn.

Hozumi: Sure. I’d love to see Suzui chan again.

Honan Runner 1: You go on ahead, senpai. We’re going to find some seats to see the race.

Riku: Right, see you guys later.

Honan Runner 2: See you.

>With that, Riku, Nana, Takeru, and Hozumi leave while Heath, Ayumu, and Kyosuke stay with the reporter and the rest of the team and their coach go find a place to watch the girls’ run.

NOTE: The name of the school Panther’s friend goes to has been changed to protect her identity.

>At the tent for the Orinpasu High School Women’s Stride Club, we came to wish Suzui good luck as they would being against... Kamigaku.

Are you doing alright, Shiho?

(only picture available) Yeah, just a little nervous.

I know. You’ve come so far. So, it’s okay. We’re here.

Shiho: I know. Thanks, Kasumi chan.

>Then, the Honan Stride Club arrives... They didn’t noticed they were followed until they looked behind them.

Nana: Dad!?

Riku: Tomoe!?

And my dad!? And his friends!?

Yeesh. You didn’t have to make it sound so dramatic.

Be nice. He’s family.

He’s got you there.

All joking aside, Nana?

Nana: Oh right. I want to wish you the best of luck, Shiho san. I hope you do well.

Shiho: Oh, thank you, Nana chan.

Riku: I wish you luck, too.

Good for you to do that, Riku. I guess good sportsmanship isn’t dead.

Isn’t it chivalry isn’t dead?

Tomoe: Same difference.

Anyway, what brings you here? I would have thought five of you would be in the stands to see the race and the three of you would be on your way home.

Jonny: Can’t a guy check on his son every once in awhile?

Ren: How did you even know I was back in Tokyo?

Orlando: Your friend dresses up like me twice on stage and I wouldn’t know about it?

Ren: I guess that’s true. Why? You’re going to sue him for copyright?

You should know, my sis is a defense attorney.

Toby: Not really.

Shiho: Then... (angry) Oh hell no! You just came to see that!

Toby: (shocked) What!? Of course not!

What do you mean?

Mr. Sakurai: Ever wondered why Stride is mostly done by boys rather than girls?

Takeru: Because in Stride, they want to see how fast your legs can go.

Hozumi: Yeah, not how high your... melons can bounce.

Panther: I can see that. If the girls at our school were allowed to do Stride, we would have a club.

Nana: What do you mean, Ann chan?

Queen: Shujin Academy almost had a Stride Club, especially after the disbandment of the track team. However...

Mr. Sakurai: Kamoshida?

Panther: That jerk was afraid that having a Shujin Stride Club would take attention away from the volleyball team. So he ‘convinced’ Kobayakawa to reject the idea. But after hearing what you just said...

Now I really can’t forgive that perverted bastard!

Queen: But now that they’re gone, it looks like Shujin will be having its Stride Club after all. After the track team regains its full momentum.

Riku: That’s great. Guess that means we might be competing against Shujin soon. Have any of you ever considered joining them?

Joker: Really? You think we might join?

Well, I can definitely see you joining, Ren.

Joker: I guess so. I mean, I train with Ryuji a lot and I work out at the gym.

>Suddenly, something grabs me... by the leg.

(only picture I could find) I see. All that training was worth it.

Hey, let go of my leg!

Besides, this leg is already spoken for.

Takeru: It is?

>Then, a shadow looms over him... And the sound of a sword unsheathing is heard.

It is. Now we humbly appreciate it if you let go.

>Cautiously, Takeru releases my leg.

Hozumi: (surprised) Whoa! Are you two... Together?

Fox: Well, other than for my art... Yes. Why?

You have something against it?

Hozumi: (scared) No! No! We have nothing against it!

Nana: He’s right. Believe it or not, we have guys at our school who are in those kinds of relationships, too.

Tomoe: She’s right. The same goes for Kakyoin.

(sheathing his sword again) Good. Anyway, I think introductions are in order.

(whisper) Thank you.

(also whispering) You’re welcome.

>Suddenly, a reporter comes in through the crowd.

Reporter: Finally, I’m in. Excuse me, Tomoe Yagami, can I have a word with you?

Tomoe: (unhappy) If it’s about that, then yes... Bug off!

Reporter: (insistent) Come on, everyone want to know about ToTo.

Riku: (angry) You heard my brother, there is no ToTo! Now leave!

Reporter: But...

>Then, Mr. Sakurai and Jonny walk up to the reporter with an intimidating aura.

Mr. Sakurai: Do you really want these two gentlemen to repeat themselves?

Jonny: That’s right, it would be unbecoming.

Reporter: (defeated) Alright. I’m leaving.

>And he does.

Tomoe: Thank you, sensei.

Mr. Sakurai: It was nothing.

Royal: (confused) Could someone please explain what this ToTo thing is?

You didn’t hear? There’s a rumor going around that Tomoe san is secretly going out with Tomoe Sayama of Kanamin Kitchen.

Royal: Really? I know you two have the same first names, but wow. You and Tomomin?

Tomoe: But I’m not going out with her... I’m actually going out with Kanami.

Hozumi: (shocked) Are you serious!?

??????: He is.

>We look to see Kanami Mashita.

Riku: Hey, Kanami chan. How are things?

Fine, Riku kun.

Holy shit, it’s really Kanamin!

Queen: So the two of you are dating?

Kanami: That’s right. But I guess also kinda my fault everyone thought Tomomin was dating him.

Joker: How so?

Kanami: As you probably know, it was just discovered that Tamamin (Tamami Uesugi) and Tassun (Tasuku Senoo) have been secretly dating ever since they opened a Junes in Sternbild City. 

Queen: Tasuku Senno? Of the Saisei Stride Club?

Kanami: And a member of the idol group, Galaxy Standard. When they were discovered, a lot of stuff started happening. The press wouldn’t leave them alone. As the leader of Kanamin Kitchen, I had to deal with it. It was exhausting.

Tomoe: As a friend of my brother, I thought I would help with Tasuku and Saisei. And that’s how me and Kanami pretty much met.

Kanami: After everything, we found ourselves just talking with each other. Before we knew it, we had gotten pretty close. We even started meeting up for coffee.

Tomoe: We got to know each other a little and everything just... It just...

Kanami: (smiling) Clicked into place.

>They both smile at each other.

Tomoe: It was then, we knew. But we never actually announced anything. We decided to keep it to ourselves for the time being.

Kanami: Then, one night, Tomoe kun took me back to Takura Productions after I got pretty tired. Tomomin was waiting for us.

Tomoe: Me and the other Tomoe went outside together so she could thank me for helping Tasuku and Tamami. And to also thank me for helping Kanami as well... Unfortunately, someone saw us and jumped to the conclusion that me and Tomoe were together... That made things even more hectic.

Kanami: But at least they finally took their attention away from Tamasun. But now, they’re getting the wrong idea about Tomoe.

Riku: Tomoe convince me that he wasn’t going out with the other Tomoe... But I still couldn’t believe it when he told me about who he was really interested in.

Nana: Why didn’t you tell us, Riku?

Riku: Tomoe made me promise not to tell anyone as they wanted to announce it themselves. Besides, you guys never would have believed me. I know I couldn’t.

Nana: (souding reassuring) Riku, you’re our friend and teammate, I’m sure we would have believed you and keep it a secret, too.

Riku: (happy) Thank you.

Tomoe: (getting close to Kanami) Tomorrow, me and Kanami have decided to go on our first date. But for today, since Galaxy Standard can’t perform, partly because they’re still under fire for Tasuku and Tamami’s relationship and partly because most of them aren’t even part of the group anymore because they already graduated, Kanamin Kitchen will be performing in their place.

Kanami: Although, Tamamin will only be doing one song with us.

Noir: I see. I hope things will be okay.

Kanami: (smiling) I’m sure they will. I actually support their relationship.

Tomoe: (also smiling) So do I.

Nana: Congratulations on both accounts.

Announcer: Attention, all runners to your positions, please!

Shiho: I better go. I’m the staring runner.

Good luck out there, Shiho.

Shiho: Thanks, Ann.

>With that, we leave... Admin stayed behind.

Admin: Hey, Suzui chan?

Shiho: Yes, Mishima?

Admin: (a little nervous) Well... Umm...

Shiho: (curious) Yes?

Admin: ....

Win for all of us.

Shiho: (actually disappointed) Oh, I see... Hey, Mishima?

Admin: Yes?

Shiho: I just... (starts getting nervous) It’s just...

Yes?

Shiho: ... Thank you. Yes, thank you for everything.

Oh, okay. Well, see you.

Shiho: See you.

>With that, they leave.

Announcer: ... And now, let’s introduce our runners! Our starting runners are... Shiho Suzui of Orinpasu High and Miki Makimura of Kamigaku High!

>The crowd cheered at Suzui and Miki took their position.

Hey Suzui chan, I just want to wish you luck.

Shiho: Same to you. Thanks.

>Somewhere else in the city, Miko Kuroda is waiting in her position.

(thinking) I’ll show her. I’ll show them all... I’m the real Miki.

>Watching live on his laptop in his and his boyfriend’s room at the Wilton Hotel, Moyuru Koda was starting to get a little worried.

Kuroda, don’t do it. I know the Demon Slayer and the Charmed One already went home, but still...

>Back at the starting point.

Announcer: On your marks... Get set... GO!

>With that, Suzui and Miki take off.

>On the stands, my father pulls me aside to talk to me.

Joker: I know you think that I spend more time here than I do with you and Mom. Don’t worry, I still love you both. Will always love you. It’s just that... I feel I can get along well here in Tokyo.

All my friends and my boyfriend are here.

Jonny: Is that all? ... I would have thought you would say teammates.

Joker: ...

Jonny: Look, I know as the leader of the Phantom Thieves, you have to look after your team, but it never hurts to at least drop me and your mother a line once and awhile. Come visit us. We miss you.

Joker: I’m just too busy. I really do try to find time to send you a message when I can. But with everything that’s happened...

Jonny: Ren, I’m not saying that you have to come home. It’s your decision. You’re almost a man now. And I can tell you really have something going on with that artist. Still... Just don’t forget about us.

Joker: I do.

Jonny: Ren, do you remember the story I told you about before you were born?

Joker: Yes. You said you and Mom wanted a child...

Who would be just like Uncle Vince.

Jonny: (laughs a bit) We got our wish alright. From the gender to... The hair.

Joker: Yeah... You have Mom’s people to thank for that. For them, birth is about more than making life...

It’s also about making art.

(who heard us) I like the way your mother’s people think.

Joker: Yeah, maybe that’s why I feel close to you. And why I knew it was a good idea to dress you up as my father.

Fox: No, it was because you helped me out of my slump and made me realize the beauty and ugliness in everything...

And you are especially beautiful.

Thank you.

Jonny: Glad to see the two of you happy.

Joker: I’m happy, too. Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten you, Mom, or my uncles and aunts. If only you and Mom were home when my friends brought me back after my probation ended, it would have made things even more wonderful.

Jonny: I blame the spaceship when we went to visit your Uncle Vincent and Aunt Rin. I can’t believe I made a rookie mistake about renting vehicles. Then again, this was a spaceship we’re talking about, not a car.

Joker: Guess you still have a lot to learn.

Jonny: No kidding.

Joker: By the way, how are Uncle Vince and Aunt Rin?

Jonny: Fine. They would have loved to come for Dream FES, but Rin’s scheduled keeps him and Vincent really busy. But I’m sure you’ll seem them again at the party for the American release of Catherine: Full Body.

Joker: I guess...

But only if you guys show up at the Culture Festival at Shujin. We’ll be celebrating the release of Persona 5: Royal.

Jonny: (smiling) That sounds like a plan to me.

>I can sense Dad’s understanding. And he can understand mine.

I am thou, thou art I… Thou hast acquired a new vow.

It shall become the wings of rebellion that breaketh they chains of captivity.

With the birth of the Daylight Persona, I have obtained the winds of blessing that shall lead to freedom and new power…

Confidant: Chief

Arcana: Daylight (This Arcana is made up for this Confidant.)

Rank: 1

Ability: Test Drive

Jonny will let you drive a car from his dealership as a test.

Panther’s voice: Hey you guys, Shiho’s about to make the connection!

Joker: Let’s go.

>We return with the others.

>At the relationer booth, Akira Fudo is directing Miki to Miko next to Suzui’s team relationer.

You’re almost to Miko, Miki. Just jump that next turn and you should be there.

Miki’s voice: Right, I’m on it!

Orinpasu Relationer: Suzui, the fence that you’re close to isn’t that high. You can hop over it.

Shiho’s voice: I see it. I’ll try.

>At Miko’s position, she can see Miki jumping the turn and approaching her.

Miko: (thinking) Here she comes. Let’s do this!

>With a clap of their hands, Miko is off. She runs off and suddenly moves at high speed... Almost like a beast.

>At the Wilton.

Koda: Crap!

>Koda quickly puts on his shoes and heads to the door.

Koda: Junichi, I’m going out! I’ll be back soon!

Junichi: (calling from the bath) While you’re out, do you think you can pick up a wrench for my leg?

Koda: (smiling) It’ll be the first thing on my list.

>With that, he runs out of the room.

>A little later, Koda (after stopping to buy a wrench) stop at where Miko would run by. He looks around and finally spots her.

Koda: Good, she hasn’t connected yet.

>As soon as Miko got closer, Koda begins to run.

NOTE: If you wish to see them run, please click the link. But you may wish to ignore it. I’d tell you why, but that would lead to trouble. The choice is yours.

https://imgflip.com/gif/2gz8ih

>Miko notices Koda and can make out what he’s saying.

Koda: Kuroda, what the hell!? I told you, you can’t do that! You can’t use your power! It’s wrong and you could be exposed!

Miko: So what? I’ll prove to everyone that I’m the best. That I’m the real Miki and not Makimura.

Koda: This isn’t about you. This is about retaining whatever normality or humanity you have left.

Miko: You would think the same if you were me. Didn’t you try to use your own power to win a track meet.

Koda: True. At first I thought that human or demon, I would be on the winning side. But then I realized something... Would I truly be happy with that? To only be thinking of myself rather than what others feel? Because, now that I think about it, that sound pretty selfish... I was lacking independence. But now I know better. Instead of choosing which side would most likely be the winner... I should choose which side feels right to me and stick with it... So, which will you choose? Pride and envy or a friend who loves you more than anything?

Miko: ...

Akira’s voice: Miko, you’re at the half way point. There should be a ledge you can go over.

>Miko really wanted to keep running onward and not rely on shortcuts. However, she knows Koda is right. She does love Miki and this would be an insult to her.

Miko: (defeated) You just won’t quit, will you?

>With that, Miko slows down and jumps the ledge. Because she slowed down, everyone noticed Koda running as he too slowed and stopped.

Announcer: It looks like someone was chasing Kuroda. Is that... Yes! It’s Moyuru Koda, the Super High Schooler! I wonder why he was doing it.

Koda: (noticing a drone recording him and smiles and waves) Just wanted to make sure Kuroda keeps her promise! ... To him!

>He was point at...

How did you... I mean, yes, that’s me!

Koda: See ya!

>With that, Koda runs off.

>Miko finally reached the third runner and connected and the third runner.

>After the connection was made with the anchor, I texted Koda.

I saw what you did on the monitor.

You did, did you?

Look, I’m not going to pry, but it looked like Miko Kuroda was doing something you didn’t like.

Pretty much. She was doing something that might as well be cheating.

You mean...

No, I don’t want to know.

Probably for the best. Her friends don’t know and it’s better to keep it that way.

You really wanted to make sure she didn’t do any wrong. Not just for her... But you did it for Kukun’s sake.

I could tell that he really likes her. Even that rap he did for Open Mike Nite proved it.

No doubt. It sounds like you know Kukun. How?

That is an interesting question. Maybe someday.

I see. Still, it’s good that you stopped her.

I just didn’t want to see her in trouble. I knew how she felt. I just don’t know how to deal with thinking that power means everything.

You could remind yourself about love. Someone you love could help you realize what is right.

Yeah, I suppose. I already thought of it, but being reminded is sometimes good too. Thanks for that.

You're welcome.

>I know we’re just texting, but I can feel like I understand Koda a little more.

Rank Up!

Confidant: Moyuru Koda

Arcana: Balance

Rank: 3

See you at the EOS after party?

Definitely.

>End text.

>After a while, the anchors finally arrived at the end... Kamigaku takes the victory. Still it was a day we won’t forget. And it was still Summer Break until September 2. A Summer we won’t forget.

[illuminating-dragons]

Nesting (7/?): Hey Sister

Summary:  Destiel's having a baby! (No mpreg, promise) Ben wants to be happy. He really, really does.

Read it on AO3

           When Dad called him in to the library, Ben was sure he was in trouble.

           It wouldn’t be because of his not-so-great math test—Dad understood about that. But if Balthazar had told him about the books he was reading, and the nightmares he was having because of them…

           But Dad was smiling and holding hands with Cas, so it couldn’t be that bad.

           “Hey buddy.” Dad gestured for Ben to come over, and he sat next to Dad. “We’ve got some exciting news.”

           “What’s up?” Ben asked.

           Dad squeezed Cas’ hand. “We’re having a baby.”

           Ben stared at them. “Can angels—”

           “No!” Cas said quickly. “At least, not in male bodies. Neither of us our pregnant, Ben.”

           “Oh, you’re adopting?”

           “Not exactly,” Dad explained. “Your Uncle Gabriel’s been very kind and agreed to help create a child for us, one that has parts of Cas and parts of me. It’s a soul that…”

           “One that suffered in life,” Cas supplied. “They requested a second chance.”

           “Do you know who it was?” Ben asked, intrigued.

           “No, and we won’t. My Father has made sure of that.”

           “Okay. That’s…that’s cool, I guess.”  

           “Cool? That’s all you got to say about a new brother or sister?” Dad demanded.

           Ben brightened. “They’ll be my brother or sister?”

           “Of course, you’re my kid, aren’t you?”

           “Yeah, but we don’t have the same mom. I guess they’re half, but—”

           “Ben,” Cas interrupted him. “Do you consider your Uncle Adam only your half-uncle? Or any of my siblings less your family?”

           “No.” Ben fidgeted. “I just meant you could call the baby yours, but it doesn’t have to be mine.”

           Dad seemed to understand what he was trying to say, and he tugged him under his arm. “You’ll be a big brother in nine months if you want,” he told Ben gently. “You’ll be this baby’s family. Okay?”

           “Okay.” Ben swallowed hard. “That is awesome. Will you teach me, Dad?”

           Dad pressed a kiss to his head. “I’ll teach you everything I know.”

           The next few months went smoothly. Dad and Cas started planning out how to take care of a baby and help run the Men of Letters at the same time. It was Uncle Sam that told them not to be idiots and take time off so that they could both be there for the baby.

           (When Ben was born, his mom had to put him in daycare after he was three months old. That was as long as she could ask her parents to watch him.)

           Everyone in the Bunker helped make the baby’s room. Cas painted some Enochian symbols over the crib. When Ben asked him what they meant, he explained that it was a lullaby. “Our child is not a Nephilim precisely,” Cas told him, “but this is an important song. I want my child to remember that they come from Heaven.”

           (When Ben was five, he was given a worksheet with ‘Draw Your Family’ on it. He drew a man in a car far away from him and mom. He didn’t even know if his father drove a car. Maybe he drove a motorcycle.)

           Ben started asking Mom if he could stay home on his weekends with Dad. “I have too much homework,” in September. “My friend’s having a birthday party,” in October.

           He never said “I feel like I’m just in the way.” Never mentioned out loud that he felt like everyone was excited about this baby except for him.

           When he did go to the Bunker (and he still wanted to go, because he loved Dad and Cas and the rest of their family), he kept reading the same books he’d started. They were terrifying, and if Aunt Charlie or Uncle Sam or Grampy had noticed what he was reading they would have probably burned the books for being inaccurate and overly horrific. But Ben was in the library by himself a lot of the time, and no one noticed.

           The breaking point came about four months in. Dad and Cas were talking about names for the baby.

           “Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” Meg asked.

           “Does that matter?”

           “There are names that are considered more ‘boy’ names than ‘girl’ names,” Hannah said wisely.

           Cas hid a smile. “We know, Hani. And of course our child could be born transgender, which we won’t know yet.”

           Gabriel nodded. “I offered to tell them the sex for a starting point, but they said no.”

           “We want it to be a surprise.” Dad looked at a list in front of him. “Why don’t we start with the boy names? I think that might take longer.”

           “Well, your son’s already got my name,” Uncle Adam joked. Ben looked up, his head feeling heavy. “What?” he asked.

           “My middle name’s Benjamin,” Uncle Adam explained.

           “Now you know it was for me, idiot,” Uncle Benny argued. “Makes way more sense that way.”

           Dad groaned. “This joke has never been funny. Literally ever.”

           No, it really wasn’t. Because Dad hadn’t had anything to do with Ben’s name. He didn’t even know it when Ben was born.

           Ben waited for the conversation to shift back to other names and slipped quietly out of the room. He laid down on his bed, trying to calm down.

           Don’t be jealous, he told himself firmly. They’re not doing it to insult you, or forget you. Don’t be dumb…

           He still didn’t feel like going out and joining the rest, even though it was Linda’s turn to do the cooking.

           Ben rolled over on his side. Maybe he’d read more of the scary books…but reaching for them was too tiring, and before he realized it he was asleep.

           He woke with a scream to someone shaking him.

           “Ben! C’mon kiddo, wake up!”

           Ben’s eyes flew open and he looked into his dad’s worried face. The monsters had felt so real…

           “Ben? Buddy, you okay?”

           “Yeah,” Ben said hoarsely, but it wasn’t true, and Dad knew it. He pulled Ben close and for a second Ben let himself lean against him, let Dad rub his back.

           “What’s going on, buddy?” Dad whispered.

           Ben tried to pull away, and Dad let him go after a second. “It’s nothing. I just had a nightmare.”

           “Do you want to talk about it?”

           Normally Ben would want that. He could talk to Dad, and Dad could tell him what parts were possible and which parts weren’t, and promise that he would never let any of it become real anyways because he loved Ben and he was here and would take care of him.

           Ben shook his head. “I’m okay. You need to rest.”

           Dad raised his eyebrows. “It’s ten o’clock, Ben. What do I need to rest for?”

           “The baby.”

           “Ben, the baby’s not coming for months.”

           “Yeah, but you need to start getting used to sleeping when you can,” Ben explained. “You’ll need to sleep well, and focus on you and Cas so your relationship doesn’t fall apart, and I’m fine and I’m old enough to deal with things by myself—”

           “Ben, stop!” Dad took him by his shoulders. “Son, what are you talking about?”

           Ben tried to talk, but he was shaking too badly. Dad hugged him tight again, and this time Ben couldn’t stop himself from crying.

           “Oh Ben,” Dad whispered. He started to rock back and forth. “It’s okay, it’s okay…”

           “It’s not okay,” Ben tried to say, but it came out in a garbled sob.

           Dad kissed the top of his head. “Ben, sweetheart, I didn’t realize you were having so much trouble with this. I’m sorry.”

           “Don’t w-worry about me.”

           “Of course I’m going to worry about you. It’s my job; I’m your Dad.”

           “You weren’t always.”

           Dad didn’t let go, but he stopped rocking.

           “And I know Mom didn’t tell you,” Ben said quickly. “But with this baby—it feels like you want to be a real dad, and have a real family. And I’m just a reminder that you weren’t. I don’t want to make you feel bad, and I don’t want to be in the way.”

           Dad didn’t say a word at first. He just hugged Ben so tight he could hardly breathe.

           “You are my son,” he promised finally. “My real son, and I love you so much it scares me some times. I never thought I could love someone so completely. I loved you before Cas, you know that? I met you first. And even then, when I didn’t know you were mine, I loved you. I was so proud of you.”

           Ben pressed his face into Dad’s shoulder.

           “I do wish I’d known about you,” Dad continued. “I wish I’d been in a place where your Mom would have trusted me. Where I would have been able to be in your life, and had the emotional maturity to do that. But that didn’t happen, and I’m just grateful that I have gotten to be in your life since. That you love me. That means everything to me, Ben.”

           “And yes, I’m having a baby with Cas. But I’m not doing it because I feel guilty about you. Cas wanted to have a child together because he loves you too, and wanted to have another child. You’re not in the way at all, buddy. And I wish that I could have given you what I will give this baby. But after the kind of life I’ve had…I want to be a good father for all my children. I have different chances with you and the baby, but I will take advantage of every last one, and if that means I go between playing video games with you and bottle feeding Little Bit, I will. Okay?”

           Ben cuddled closer, and Dad pulled him onto his lap. “I love you, Ben,” he repeated. “And I will always love you.”

           “Love you too,” Ben whispered.

           They sat there for a while.

           “Ben, what was your nightmare about?”

           Ben blushed, grateful that there wasn’t much light coming from the hall. “I…it was just a bad dream.”

           “Ben…”

           “I might have been reading some books before bed.”

           Without letting go of Ben, Dad leaned over and switched the light on. The book was sitting on Ben’s night table; he’d forgotten to hide it.

           “Ben!” Dean picked the book up. “Ben, this is one of the Renwick books!”

           “Yeah. I’m sorry!”

           “Ben, these aren’t accurate at all. I thought Sam got rid of them!”

           Ben brightened. “So…so witches can’t put marks on you for werewolves to find you?”

           “No!” Dad shook his head. “Ben, how many have you read?”

           “Maybe…maybe eight or ten?”

           Dad groaned.

           “Am I grounded?”

           “I think you’ve been punished enough,” Dad said, glaring darkly at the book. He switched the light back off, and Ben’s grip tightened around him.

           Dad rubbed his back. “Do you want to come lie down with me and Cas?”

           “I’m twelve, Dad.”

           “I know that.”

           “Um…yes please?”

           Dad picked him up and Ben clung to him. Cas was reading when they came in, a worried look in his eyes. Once Dad laid Ben down next to him, he passed Ben a plate with a sandwich and two cookies.                  

          “Do you want milk or water?”

          “Milk please,” Ben said, feeling unaccountably shy.

          Cas snapped and passed Ben the conjured glass. Ben ate quietly as Dad lay back, humming softly. When he finished, Cas took the plate from him.

          “Thanks Cas,” he said. Then—“you know you’re my dad too, right?”

          Cas smiled gently, and hugged Ben. “I do,” he promised, “and you are the son of my heart. That will never change.” He switched off the light and lay down.

          Ben lay between his dads. The room was dark, and for a second he felt a stab of fear. What if the books were real…

          Dad put an arm around him. “We’re right here, buddy. Nothing’s gonna hurt you.”

           Ben smiled. “Dad? Cas?”

           “Yes, Ben?”

           “I’m excited for the baby again.”

           “I am delighted,” Cas said. “Perhaps you would do us a favour and choose the name? We can’t settle on one.”

           “Sure!”

           And five months later, when the little baby girl was born, Ben was the third person to hold her, and he named her Mary Jo (he’d thought about Xena, but Cas said no).

           “Hi MJ,” he whispered (apparently nicknames were an important part of being a big brother). “I’m Ben, your big brother. I know you’re awesome already, and I love you. I won’t always be around, but I promise I’ll be there whenever you need me. And I’ll let you watch Predator. But you’re not reading the bad books.”

[stereksummerexchange]

Before The Me and You

@hashtag-hale - I really hope you enjoy it! First time doing something like this so I hope it doesn’t show too much.

by @shaggii-murder

Not Rated - the only warning is fluff. 

Derek reminisce, Stiles is a loving, if not, sarcastic boyfriend. That’s all that needs to be said.

“Derek,” Stiles whispers causing Derek’s eyes to flutter open. His brain waking up slowly.

“Der-Bear.” Stiles softly sings from behind Derek. Placing his hands on Derek’s shoulders, gently leaning over the couch he was napping on. Stiles slides his hands down his chest to rest them there. Derek looks up to his boyfriend, regaining his senses.

“Dinner’s ready sleepy head.” He says with a mischievous grin.

“Already?” Derek says surprised, staring at his sly smile. He turns his head to look at the clock on the wall of their apartment seeing that it’s already 7:30pm.

“I was out for two hours?” He said, voice croaking a little.

“You were tired, I figured I’d let you sleep while I cooked dinner. You needed it man, you’ve been riding around in that ambulance since last night for your shift.

“Now, try and stay awake while I’ll go grab dinner. We’ll eat it here.” Stiles said leaning up off of him walking towards the kitchen.

Smiling softly, Derek looked towards his boyfriend thinking how lucky he got. Derek raised his arms above his head to stretch, arching his back, he felt joints popping, reawakening his body. Now that he’s up and awake he realises how hungry he is. Just when his stomach started to growl Stiles re-entered the room with two bowls of vegetable curry in both hands.

Instead of going around the couch he just climbed over it slowly. Being mindful of the food, he plopped down close to Derek snuggling into his side. “And here we are,” Stiles said passing one of the bowls to Derek. “Our dinner is served.” He continues. Before Stiles can dig in, he feels Derek’s fingers comb through his hair, settling at the back of his head, guiding him for a quick chaste kiss.

“Thank you.” Derek said “I really do appreciate you doing this.” “No problem-o babe. You’ve be working so hard lately, you deserve a small break once in awhile.” Stiles says casual like he didn’t make Derek’s heartbeat just a bit faster by saying that. Stiles leans over to him, kissing him on his brow, like he knows what Derek is thinking.

Derek can feel Stiles smile on his skin. He feels his blood rush to his ears, making him feel like they haven’t been doing this for years, and more like a first date. Turning to face forward, Stiles grabs the remote off the coffee table to turn on the TV putting it on a random channel that caught his eye, he starts in on his dinner finally. Derek smiles to himself, no more words needs to be said. Just having Stiles by his side has made life just that much better. Not to say he didn’t have a fantastic life before he met him. He has a huge, wonderful, and supportive family. And dear friends that, some (at this point) are part of his ever growing family. Like his best friends, Erica and her, now fiancé Boyd. They have been his close’s friends since high school. Erika, that shy girl that only spoke a few sentences at a time, always worried she’d get notice by the kids that bullied her for her epilepsy, might hurt her again. Is now a drop-dead gorgeous feminist, rally organiser that get women together. Not to tear each other down for their differences but to push each other up because of them. So confident and humble. Always there to talk when he’s feeling down or lost, offering her advice when he needed it. She is the best person he’s ever had privilege of being friends with.

And Boyd was pretty much not a speaker at all in high school, unless it was to Derek or Erika. Always so quiet but quick with a joke. Since Boyd and Erika started dating in the 11th grade, it helped them both to break out of their shells to become the people they were always meant to be.

And they were all fortunate enough to get into the same University. From there, he met Isaac. A hipster kind of guy that had impeccable fashion taste. They really got to know each other through their course. Studying together, then becoming house mates before the start of the second semester.

With Boyd and Erika, all four of them were able to rent a small three bedroom house just off campus. Perfect size for them. And for Isaac to dub the perfect party house.

Isaac, in University, was a party animal. (Not that he isn’t now but mostly back then) Almost every weekend there was always something going on. From a small study group to full fledged party.

Even though Derek was kind of a shut in when it came to parties, he’d come out from his room to mingle every once in a while, to keep Isaac from busting down his door.

And from there he’ll be forever grateful that Isaac threw a get-to-know party inviting heaps of people around campus.

Which that including Kira Yukimura who, in turn, brought Scott McCall, Allison Argent, Lydia Martin and the one and only, Stiles Stilinski. As soon as Derek saw him from where was sitting, a drink in his hand, Derek was transfix to the young man that just walked in. Talking with his hands in an almost comical way. His eyes twinkling with mirth and a smirk on his lips. Making a beautiful redhead roll her eyes. And by the way her lips were twitching up, she was amused at what he was saying.

While the group made there way in the room Derek leaned over to Isaac who was perched on the arm of the couch.

“Who’s that?” Derek said, subtly pointing to Stiles. Isaac twist to look at where he was pointing.

“Ah he’s Kira’s friend, his name is Stiles? I think? Kind of a spaz but a nice guy. Talked to him a few times.” He says as he twists back around.

“Stiles huh.” Derek repeats.

“Oh I know that look.” Isaac smirks. “Just never seen it on you before.” He lets out a small chuckle. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Derek sips his drink. His ears burning. Later that evening Derek was making his way to the kitchen to grab another drink, and maybe something to eat, he thinks to himself. But before here can, he runs into a body when rounding the corner. Making said body spill his own drink on himself.

“Whoa!”Body said. Catching the cup before it hits the ground. Derek squeaked. “I’m so sorry! Here let me grab a towel!” Moving around him, he starts to grab a tea-towel off the kitchen island. Handing it to him.

“Hey don’t worry about it man, it was bound to happen sometime tonight. If you knew how clumsy I am you wouldn’t even think it was your fault.”

Derek let out an embarrassed gasp when he finally gets a good look at the owner of the shirt he ruined. “Seriously it’s alright. I’m Stiles by the way.” Holding out his hand. Looking at him in the eyes. “Not just clumsy shirt guy that you’re probably calling me in your head.” Stiles lets out a small pathetic laugh. Looking away, thinking to himself he’s made the situation a bit awkward. Well a bit more awkward, what with having his shirt drenched, looking like damp rat. Coming back to himself Derek takes Stiles hand trying his best to look suave. Gaining his eye contact again. “Derek. Hale. Derek Hale.” Closing his eyes he takes back his hand. Completely feeling embarrassed. He goes to take a step back. “Wait!” Stiles grabs his hand again before he can get out of reach. Clearing his throat Stiles smooths over his face with his other hand to look less panicked. Moving it up to his hair, smoothing that also but making it look like he just rolled out of bed. “I’ve been wanting a reason to talk to you all night.” His voice getting softer as he went on. “Um, I mean.” Stiles continued. “Did you want to get to know each other? Like talk, for a bit? I’ve seen you around, and Isaac talked about you.” His eyes widened. “In a super positive way!” He quickly corrected himself. Dropping Derek’s hand. Stiles sighs.

“I’m blowing this aren’t I?” Sounding dejected. Derek laughs “No not at all. In fact, did you want to come up to my room? So we can talk privately?” Derek says with a blinding smiling gracing his face. No longer feeling embarrassed or unsure.

Stiles says later, that as soon as Derek gave him that smile, he half fell in love with him right then and there.

Derek thinks the more accurate moment was when they got to his room and Stiles saw a Star Wars poster on his wall declaring his undying love for him and saying he going to marry him someday.

“Hey,” Stiles poking him over his heart to gain his attention. “Penny for your thoughts?” They’re now lying down on the couch, dinner bowls on the coffee table empty, and (in Stiles case) licked clean.

Stiles is draped over him, using both his hands as a pillow on his chest.

“Hmm?” Derek hummed.

“Don’t hum me young man. You’ve been lost in thought throughout the whole movie. Is something wrong?” Stiles starts, jokingly at first but growing more concerned as he finished. Derek just yawns, rubbing a free hand up and down Stiles back. “Just thinking how lucky I am that Isaac was trying to bang Kira in Uni.” Derek says focusing on trying to remember the movie he just watched. Man, I really was lost in thoughtwasn’t I? Stiles squints are Derek’s face.

“Should I be concerned about our marriage?” Derek huffs, “Of course not. Was just thinking about the night we met, and why the whole reason we had that get-to-know party is so Isaac could try and get into Kira’s pants.” he frowns, scrunching his nose trying to get that image out of his head. “Oh, perfectly normal things then. Just the usual stuff that’s going around in your head.” Stiles says sarcastically. Rolling his eyes.

Derek stops his rubbing to give Stiles’ side a pinch, causing him to yelp and pull away.

He quickly grabs hold of him tight, using both hands around his waist making sure doesn’t get away. “Was just thinking how beautiful you looked and how we spent the night talking.” He continues.

Stiles snorts, “Sure. How gorgeous was I with drying beer down my shirt? And as I recall we did a lot more kissing than we did talking.” Derek choosing to ignore that last part, “Well maybe it was all part of my elaborate plan to get your shirt off?” Derek says, moving his eyebrows up and down.

“God you’re such a dork.” Stiles says putting a hand over his eyes so he doesn’t have to see that any more. “I thought I was your dork.” Derek pouts, giving him his best puppy dog eyes. “Please, you know you’ll never be as good as Scott using those things.” Derek growls playfully. “I can still use them. There’s no copy right claim on them by Scott.” “He may as well have one. No beating those treacherous eyes.” Stiles sighs softly. Laying his chin back on his hands.

“Should I be the one that’s worried about our marriage now?” Derek says, putting the back of his to his forehead, pretending to faint.

Stiles grabs the hand, cupping it between both of his.

“Never. I’m keeping you till the end.” Kissing his fingers softly. He closes his eyes and smiles. “You were pretty cute back then. What with your dorky ways and red blushing ears. I couldn’t resist. The muscles helped too.” Stiles winks.

Derek glowers, completely unimpressed.

A silence passes over them now. Both just taking in the other. Memorizing each other. Never wanting to forget moments like these.

“I love you.” Derek whispers with a soft smile on his lips.

“I love you too.” Stiles response back. A smile of his own.

Stiles leans forward closing his eyes. Derek meets him halfway for lingering kiss. Tasting one another, always feeling like it’s the first.

Kissing once more Stiles pulls back to snuggle into Derek’s chest again. Getting comfortable to take a nap.

Derek kisses the top of his head, also shuffling to get comfortable too. Arms never moving from around Stiles.

Derek thinks, before he follows for a nap too. Yep, so lucky to have him in his life. He couldn’t ask for more.

[engineeringnovels]

Chapter One: Business as Usual

I sat near the doorway of an old convenience store in the middle of Buttfuck, Nowhere staring at the carcass of what used to be a person lying underneath the snow covered leaves of a maple tree. A flock of crows fed on whatever scraps of meat remained.. I’ve heard from other travelers that crows were a sign of bad luck. I suppose in this case, they did.

That person probably died of pneumonia seeing how carefully the body was covered . A deadly strain of the terrible illness struck everyone we passed. We thought that if we kept moving, we could avoid contracting it, but Pestilence rode faster than we could run. There used to be fifteen of us. Now, we’re down to five.

The wind howled outside. The inside of the store wasn’t much warmer than the outside, but it was nice to get out of that brutal wind. The place had been looted long ago,but it still had canned food, medical supplies, and even antibiotics if time is spent looking for it. Even looted, people targeted these places for supplies. If my small group of survivors and I found this place, other people can too and people were much more dangerous than the elements.

Time had become more of an enemy than the elements or even other people. The more time we spent searching, the more likely this bitter wind turned into a blizzard or a group of hardened survivors crossed our paths. Still, anything we found gave us an edge over the next guy.

“David!” Someone shook me.

When I turned my head, a perky little ginger named Steph stared back at me. “You started dozing off,” she says.

“I fucking hate farmland,” I reply. “Too much land to cross with little payoff.” Honestly, farmland would be awesome if animals didn’t strip the land bare long ago. Sometimes, we come across some surviving crops, but more often than not, there’s nothing for miles around besides some old house that I wouldn’t go in with just my revolver.

“We’re all tired dude,” Steph stated.

“Yeah, but we had to hike a few miles in that bitter wind. If we were out there a little more, I’d come down with pneumonia,” I declared.

Steph’s face grew dim. I lost friends to illness before especially when we ran out of antibiotics; but for Steph, it hit a little closer to home. My group found her and her brother couple years ago shivering in a tent on our way south during the dying gasps of autumn. We managed to save Steph… Her brother was too far gone…

“Oh, shit… I didn’t mean-”

“Shut up David… Let’s just find what we came here for.”

Steph walked away intensely. I stayed planted in my stop burying my face in my hands wondering how someone could be so stupid.

“What’s up with Steph?” A rugged young man named Danny asked standing in front of me.

“I made a pneumonia joke,” I revealed.

“Dude! You shouldn’t make jokes like that, especially around her!” Danny reprimanded. His tone suddenly changed. “What kind of a joke was it?”

“If we were out in the cold a little more I’d come down with pneumonia,” I repeated.

“Same. I glad we got here when we did. It feels like it’s getting colder every year.”

“Yeah, I did notice we had to travel further south this time,” I pointed out.

“Alright, the faster we get supplies, the faster we get out of this cold,” Danny said.

“Why did you even volunteer us for this?”

“Someone has to do it and I didn’t want to do it alone,” Danny chuckled.

Danny pulled me up onto my feet. We had assignments to make the job a little more efficient. I was in charge of gathering medical supplies, Steph was in charge of gathering food and water, and Danny was lookout.

Steph held up a can of baked beans. “I found some beans!” She shouted.

“Nice! Where did you find it?” Danny asked.

“Underneath the overhang of the bottom shelf. Guess no one wanted to put their face to the ground,” Steph said disappearing behind the shelves.

“How about you David? You find anything?” Danny shouted.

“Just some band-aids,” I paused for a second. “With flowers on it.”

“Got anything else?” Danny whined slightly.

“Just some tampons if you prefer those.”

“I’ll take the flower band-aids…” Danny sighed.

I hopped over the pharmacy counter nearly tripping over my own foot in the process. The freezing wind whistled in through a hole in the ceiling. A small pile of snow covered some cardboard containers at the base of the hole. Still, medicine still sat on the shelves. At this point, the chances of finding painkillers or antibiotics were slim. However, medication for high blood pressure and antidepressants still remained on the shelves; these were fairly useless unless traded at the handful of settlements along the way.

“Are there any trading posts nearby?!” I asked loudly. “I got some meds.”

“Any antibiotics?” Steph replied.  

“Nothing so far.”

“It’s already starting to snow. I don’t think we’re making any stops,” Danny declared.

I stuffed three bottles of antidepressants into my bag before continuing my search for antibiotics. I carefully inspected the names of each drug looking for anything that ended in -xin, -cin, -lin, -zole, or -cline. I pushed aside a dozens of drugs trying to see if there was anything left standing. I looked for a solid five minutes without any payoff.

I heard a soft fluttering behind me. I drew my revolver expecting some sort of dangerous creature. A crow flew in from the hole in the ceiling perching right above two pill bottles labelled Amoxicillin. It looked at me inquisitively cocking its head side to side and I stared back at it in disbelief. Slowly, I reached for the pills hoping the bird wouldn’t give me a nasty bite in exchange. It cawed twice before flying back through the hole.

“That can’t be good…” I thought to myself.

Suddenly, the sound of tires grinding against pavement approached us as I quickly stuffed the meds in my bag.

“Pickup truck! Get down!” Danny whispered loudly.

I immediately searched for a back door. Even though power had been off for years, the red exit signs still did their jobs. I found a push door a little further from the pharmacy. Rust and ice covered the hinges and the door frame. I pushed as much as I could, but the door wouldn’t budge. Damn!

I returned to the pharmacy counter where Steph and Danny holed up. The headlights from the truck lit up one wall of the store. The shadows of armed people passed through the headlights.

“I counted at least three,” Steph whispered.

Danny broke open his shotgun. “I have enough firepower to take out two guys if I don’t miss.”

“They don’t know we’re here right? We can sneak around them and if we’re lucky, take their truck from right under their noses.”

I peeked over the shelves to get a more accurate headcount. Four people entered the store cautiously with their weapons up. These guys looked tough. Their stone faces showed no signs of mercy or compassion. One of them levelled their gun at me. I quickly ducked under the shelves.

“Four guys, rifles and shotguns,” I reported. “And they don’t look friendly.”

“Do they have body armor?” Danny asked.

“No, they don’t look military. Maybe cold…”

“David! This is no time for jokes! Are you sure that there are only four of them?” Danny asked.

I quickly peeked over the shelves again. Still, only four people were inside. I gave a Danny a thumbs up to confirm my findings. I remained semi-exposed a little longer just to see if anyone else. A truck door slammed. I held my finger up. A little girl no older than thirteen came in with a duffle bag.

“We have five people in here with us,” I added.

“Alright, where are they grouping up?” Danny asked.

“Left side.”

“Ok, we’ll try to sneak out through the far wall.” Danny handed Steph his backup automatic pistol. “Take this Steph.”

“I’ll be fine. I got my knife,” Steph answered confidently bordering arrogance.

“Are you sure?”

The strangers started grabbing things off the shelves quickly making their way towards us. “Guys, they’re coming this way!” I said desperately. Steph grabbed the pistol.

“Spread out and stay low! Move out!” Danny ordered.

We broke off into a different aisle. My revolver trembled in my numb finger tips. I kept moving one foot at a time. I peered over the shelf. They didn’t notice...yet… I came across a wide open corridor; the safety of the aisle just out of reach. Danny and Steph poked their heads out.

“What’s that?!” A voice boomed.

We retreated into the aisles. I stared at the entrance. Heart pounding. The footsteps inched closer. A box crunched under a boot. I turned towards the entrance to the aisle. My neck cracked in intervals. The footsteps got louder. I extended my weapon arm. I half-cocked the hammer. Click!

“I found a twinkie!” The plastic wrapper crinkled.

“Are you done thinking with your stomach?” A more commanding person yelled. “I want to be out of here before the weather gets worse.”

The footsteps got quieter. I poked my head out again. The strangers were more spread out now. I turned toward Danny.

“Go!” He mouthed.

I held my breath. One… two… THREE! I darted across the corridor. I fell onto the ground face first. I quietly gasped. My breath rose slow and high. Safe behind the aisles once more. Just a few more feet to freedom.

Crash! Steph stumbled into something in the next aisle over. Fuck! We almost had it!

“Fan out! Block off the exit!” Someone ordered.

Footsteps frantically raced around. I peeked over the shelves.

One of them saw me. “There’s one over there!” Somebody shouted.

I ducked back down. They’re coming for me. ME! I suddenly became immobilized; my body curling into a fetal position. My breathing quickened into some panicked pace.

An echoey voice screamed at me followed by a sharp whack to the face. “Don’t take unnecessary risks. You endanger yourself and I hope to God you are alone. If you aren’t, you risk the lives of your friends! They will die…”

They will die rang in my head over and over. They will die! They will die! They will die! THEY WILL DIE!!!!

I felt a hand suddenly grabbed my shoulder. I jammed my gun in that person’s gut. Silence.

“Thank God that thing is ancient!” A familiar voice quietly gasped. Danny pushed aside my gun.

“Shit Danny!”

“Shhh! Don’t move!” Danny pointed backwards. Steph darted past.

“Grab him!” Someone shouted. Three guys followed Steph.

“Follow me!” Danny ordered. We crouched to the end of the aisle. “There’s one guy right there. I’ll circle around and try to distract the rest. You take care of this guy and anyone else that comes your way.”

“Got it,” I replied.

Danny turned to leave, but he tapped me on the shoulder again. “Oh and David?”

“Hmm?”

“Make sure your gun shoots this time,” Danny smirked.

He shuffled away. My thumb reached for the hammer one more time. Click! I took several deep breaths. Steph’s struggling echoed through the hollow store.

“What are you doing here?!” The same commanding voice boomed. “How many of you are here?!”

“I’m here alone!” Steph replied.

“Bullshit! No one has survived this long alone.”

Steph let out a soft squeal.

“Now, I’ll give you one last chance to rethink your situation before I gut you like a pig.”

Steph spat in the guy’s face.

“Why you little-”

Boom! Boom! Two shotgun blasts broke the tension. I rushed around the corner. Pop! Pop! One in the gut. One in the chest. Gunfire clattered. Pop! Boom! Pop! People screamed. People died. The scent of gunpowder hung in the air.

Rapid footsteps approached me. I turned. I faced the business end of a hunting rifle. Behind it was the girl; a poor soul who had to grow up too quick. I hesitated. She fired. A dull searing pain grazed my face. She struggled with the bolt. “THEY WILL DIE!” rang in my head. Click! Click! I didn’t hesitate again. Her body hit the ground before I realized what happened.

Another loud boom.

“Danny!” Steph shrieked.

My stomach tightened. I ran fast. White smoke rose above the aisles. I turned a corner. A gun waited. I stepped back. Pop! The bullet just missed my face. Another shot boomed. I came around the corner again.

Steph had a knife to her throat; held there in one hand by a grizzly looking man. In his other, a pistol aimed at Danny. Danny sat against a wall his body brushed a new coat of blood. His shotgun was just out of reach, but a thin pillar of smoke rose from a barrel.

“Shoot him David!” Danny groaned.

“Don’t shoot!” Steph pleaded, the knife pressed into her throat.

“I’m giving you a chance to walk away,” I declared aiming my gun at the man’s head.

He instinctively hid behind Steph. “You shoot me and this knife slides right across her neck.”

“If you let her go, I’ll let you live,” I proposed.

“And you get to go free after killing my friends?”

He was right. If that had been the other way around, I’d kill all of them. This wasn’t good. If I made any moves, Steph dies. Her life was in my hands. What do I do? I looked at Steph’s frantic eyes. Her eyes bolted to the floor and back up. I quickly glanced at her feet. The slight end of a wooden handle stuck out of her boot. She still had her knife.

“This is your last chance. Let her go now!” I demanded. It was futile. His eyes revealed his choice.

I aimed low. The man’s gun flew out of his hand. He was distracted for just a moment. Steph broke free. She grabbed her knife. A sharp thrust. A sudden twist. Steph retreated. The man fell to his knees. I flipped a lever on my hammer. Boom! Birdshot peppered his body. The man slumped onto the floor. I cautiously approached the man.

“My daughter-” he said choking on his blood.

“Dead,” I coldly replied. The man’s eyes filled with tears. He inhaled sharply twice more then expired. My gun arm dropped to my side. In less than five minutes, four adults and one child lay dead inside an abandoned rotting convenience store.

“David,” Steph said with careful horror. She went to hug me.

“Don’t!” I exclaimed.

Steph stopped in her tracks.

“It’s just business as usual,” I said solemnly before walking away.  

I returned to the little girl. She wore a cap with an obscure sports team and a gold cross around her neck. Her eyes were still open. They say that eyes are the doors to people’s souls. What did she see in her final final moments? Did she see a monster or just a broken person? I fell to my knees and shut her eyes. How many people has she lost? How many people did she kill already? Not even two minutes ago, she was still breathing the same frigid air, feeling the same bitter cold. She had so much potential. And I cut it short. I sat back staring at the holes I put in her. I buried my face in my hands and wept.

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #144 - Coraline

Spoilers below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: Blu-ray

1) Director Henry Selick is probably best known for his work as director on The Nightmare Before Christmas, but I personally think (and this may be considered blasphemy) that Coraline is his magnum opus. More on that coming up.

2) In both horror and animation, a well done score can boost the tone of the film remarkably. And composer Bruno Coulais is able to turn in a score notable for its subtlety and tone boosting. It is able to be ominous, child like, fantastical, and creepy all at the same time. That is actually a perfect way of describing this film.

3) Animation fans with eagle eyes will notice that the movers in the beginning in the film are the “Ranft Brothers”. Joe Ranft was a legendary animator, known mostly for his work at Pixar until his tragic death. His brother is a noteworthy animator too, Jerome Ranft. The movers are animated in the likenesses of the brothers (you even get a glance at a name tag reading “Jerome”), with Joe being the mover who gets the crummy tip and Jerome Ranft voicing his counterpart.

4) Dakota Fanning as Coraline Jones.

Coraline is not your typical animated heroine, which is exactly why she is such an amazing character. She’s a bit of a snot actually. She’s bratty, shown to be mean, overdramatic, sarcastic, winey, and it is all amazing! Because she’s not ONLY those things! She’s also fun, intelligent, clever, imaginative and adventurous. For most of the film she is at odds with her parents but she risks her film for them because, well, they’re her parents! The best way to describe Coraline is as a kid. An honest portrayal of a kid! Not totally one thing or another and not nearly as oblivious as some people may expect. Dakota Fanning (who was attached to the role when the film was meant to be live action even) is perfect in the part, able to portray all of Coraline’s qualities with wonderful ease while totally losing herself in the role. Coraline is the title character which means we - as the audience - NEED to be invested in her for this film to be any good. And the filmmakers did an excellent job making sure we were just that: invested.

5)

Coraline [after seeing The Cat]: “Not talking, huh?”

6) This film is a little more adult than your typical animated fare, something which is established pretty early when Coraline refers to Wybie as her stalker. It is a decision in tone and content which works wonderfully for the film.

7) Wybie.

We don’t get to see much of Wybie in the film. Well, that’s not entirely true. We don’t get to see much of Wybie compared to CORALINE, who is the lead and is therefore in every scene except for the one that plays during the opening credits. But in the time we see him it is very clear that this is the neighborhood weird kid. And it’s done accurately too! He’s not the butt of any joke, he’s not someone who’s supposed to be a creep or a plot device. Just like Coraline, he’s an honest representation of the kids out in the world who are sort of strange.

8) Dang, Coraline can be mean!

Coraline [after someone calls for Wyborne ‘Wybie’s’ name]: “Oh I definitely heard someone, Why Were You Born.”

Like, sure the dude is sorta weird, but he’s been pretty nice so far. But that’s part of Coraline’s character, and we see that side of her go on a bit of a transformation throughout the film.

9) Film is first and foremost a visual way of storytelling and animation can do that better than live action can if done right. Through animation you are able to portray the character of things (not just your characters but places and items) through design. Through your visuals. Take this film for example: the real world is marked by a more subdued color palette and look. Everything - including Coraline’s parents - look grey, tired, and worn down. Something which creates an immediate visual conflict through Coraline, who from the very start gives off these incredible vibrant and lively colors. It is a visual conflict which is reflective of a textual one that works wonders for the film.

10) It would have been easy to make Coraline a total brat and her parents good parents who try their hardest, but Mom and Dad aren’t perfect either. Mom particularly shows us where Coraline got her attitude, sarcasm, and occasional brattiness from (and I know “brat” has negative connotations to it but I love Coraline so when I call her a “brat” I’m doing so with love because that trait is something I think is a great writing decision for her character). It also gets to the idea that a friend of mine told me once: parents are just kids who have kids. Parents don’t know what they’re doing when they have kids, they’re making it up as they go along. Which means they’re not perfect. They can get tired and impatient and mean too, and showing that in this film continues its honesty streak. That honesty - in relationships in characters - is what helps make it so great.

11) I can’t IMAGINE what animating the tunnel sequence was like.

I mean stop motion animation is moving something a tiny bit, then taking a picture. And you repeat that process over and over again with puppets until you have a moving image like this one. So the tunnel on its own - with the lighting and the fabric - must have been a pain to animate. But then Coraline walking through it? And jostling it around, but the animators have to make sure that jostling is perfect in every frame? I do NOT have the patience for stop motion animation, I tell you. Or the fingers. I don’t have delicate fingers.

12) The Other World.

Going with the idea of visual conflict, there is immediately more of a peace between Coraline’s vibrant colors and the creative rainbow like Other World she finds herself in. This resolves most of the visual conflict ON THE SURFACE, but everywhere there are these black buttons. These little dark specs that just liter the world in hard to see places, things which can easily get lost in the magic of it all but are always there. Hiding in plain sight.

The Other World - both in its dream and nightmare phases - show off Selick’s wild imagination. The best animation directors have a penchant for imaginative visuals, using the medium to do things live action couldn’t (something I observed in my The Book of Life post back in November). Selick as not only animator but production designer on this film is able to create some wonderful and memorable images of dream like fantasy which makes the transition to nightmarish scenes in the back half of the film all the more powerful. It is truly wonderful.

13) According to IMDb:

The band They Might Be Giants wrote 10 songs for the movie, but a change in tone from a musical to a darker production meant that all but one was cut; a scene in which Coraline's other father sings along with a piano features John Linnell's voice. The band has said they will release the other songs created for the movie in other projects, including albums.

14) It is worth noting that the initial dinner Coraline has with her Other Parents is more of a Norman Rockwell, classic/idyllic image than her dinner at home (in both the food served and the look of the place). This relates to the film’s almost critique (I say almost because I do not know if it was intended, but it very well could have been) on expectations vs reality. How we have let certain fantasies shape our expectations in the real world and if we find something that fits those expectations perfectly it’s probably a lie.

15) Teri Hatcher shines in this film, particularly as Other Mother. There are three sort of phases to her performance as Other Mother which I will discuss individually as they occur. The first of these is the initial encounter with Other Mother. The sweet sing-song tones filled with love and warmth which can trick someone into thinking its honesty but when you listen there is DEFINITELY something false about it. A faux kindness which can catch you off guard. No one is really that kind, that nice. That’s the face you put on for company when it’s over and not one you can sustain forever.

16) Ian McShane as Mr. Bobinsky.

I observed in my recap for the Selick directed The Nightmare Before Christmas that the film was able to create unique characterizations within seconds of introducing us to said characters which lasted consistently throughout the rest of the film. In this film - especially with Coraline’s neighbors - the same holds true. We are able to get a sense of what kind of fun weirdo Mr. Bobinsky is within seconds of meeting him, someone who’s a bit of a nut but also a generally nice guy, and that lasts through the end of the film. Ian McShane does a wonderful job as Bobinsky and out of the three neighbors (Bobinksy and the two actresses), Bobinsky is my personal favorite.

It is also worth observing Bobinsky’s character design here. As I said before, animation tells you a lot through its visuals about a character. Small elements in Bobinsky’s design make him a bit more human than say your average Prince Charming or seven dwarfs. The ratty shirt, the unkempt body hair, the big gut. All of it gives Bobinsky not only a sense of character but a sense of realism, as life is not always as pretty as we expect. This plays DIRECTLY into Other Bobinsky’s appearances, notably how he is better dressed AND his torso is upside down. Instead of having a large stomach, he has a large chest suggesting strength. THAT is your fairytale version of Bobinsky right there and - like everything else in the Other World - it’s a lie.

17) Similarly, the two actress neighbors of Miriam Forcible and April Spink are established as weird but lovable dog ladies as soon as we meet them.

I mentioned before how this film plays with the ideas of expectations vs reality, and that becomes pretty clear after we meet Coraline’s neighbors. This is not some fairytale for Coraline. In a fairytale Mr. Bobinsky would run an incredible jumping mouse circus, not be a vaguely crazy man trying to create a jumping mouse circus (I say with love). And the pair of Miriam and April would be elegant world famous actresses, not two washed up has-beens (I say with love). But you know what? This is EXACTLY what they are in the Other World! The fairytale versions of themselves that is meant to be exactly what Coraline wants. And just like the change in design for Bobinsky in the Other World, Miriam and April get similar beautifications.

Now they’re as pretty as any fairytale princess with a waistline to match, because that’s the “better” version of this isn’t it? Except it’s not real. It’s a lie, meant to entrap you and keep you from having a good REAL life. I sort of love that about this film.

18)

Coraline [after Other Mother asks her to get her father]: “You mean my other father?”

Other Mother: “You’re better father, dear.”

Red flag! Red flag! That’s a creepy thing to say Other Mother! (It is also here when we start noticing the fakeness of Other Mother’s nice voice.)

19) I keep mentioning how you can detect a slight hint of fakeness in Other Mother’s face. The hint is not so slight in Other Father’s voice. There’s nothing real there, nothing honest. Just fake honey that’s meant to entice Coraline. And I think that’s because Other Mother is the mastermind and she’s making Other Father BE like that. It’s a nice choice on the part of the filmmakers and actor John Hodgman I think.

20)

Other Mother [about Other ‘Silent’ Wybie]: “I thought you’d like him more if he spoke a little less. So I fixed him.”

If anyone says they “fixed” a person, turn around and run like crazy away. That’s creepy.

21) Hmm, wonder which of her parents Coraline takes after...

Mom: “I did not call [Mr. Bobinsky] crazy, Coraline. He’s drunk.”

22) The. Freaking. CAT!!!!

Can I just say first and foremost: I love Keith David. Dr. Facilier from The Princess and the Frog is my favorite Disney villain of all time in no small part because of Keith David’s voice over work as the character. And his role as The Cat is just as good. I love The Cat, which is saying a lot because I’m a dog person. David is able to work with the writing and make the character both wise and mischievous but in a unique, dark, sarcastic way. He’s also the first hint of trouble and the only character other than Coraline to travel between worlds. The animators do an excellent job making sure The Cat’s characterization is clear and consistent, even when he can’t speak in the real world. He’s an excellent addition to the film and a wonderful companion to our hero.

23) Everything gets real freaky real fast.

Right after Other Mother asks to put buttons in Coraline’s eyes (or, more accurately, REPLACE her eyes with buttons) this film turns into a horror film. Full on Stephen King, Poltergeist, “Stranger Things” horror! (Not that I’ve seen or read any of those things because I scare too easily.) And it is born not from jump scares or gore but from tone. The atmosphere becomes notably chilly and ominous and everything just becomes so FREAKY. THAT is why I think this is Henry Selick’s magnum opus. Because he can be as scary as he want to be!

24) For me, one of the most powerful scenes in the movie is when Coraline walks around Other World.

The simple decision to have her walk through a white abyss then find herself back in the Other World the Other Mother created just really works for me. It’s a simple yet elegant concept.

25) Other Mother’s truer form (her true form comes later).

This is when Teri Hatcher and Other Mother start really shining as villains. There is still an attempt to be motherly, to be warm, but the creepy factor is turned up. There’s a sick playfulness there at times as well as terrifying anger. But this form is most marked by the cold reservedness. The chilling tones the Other Mother uses when taking to Coraline about the game they’re going to play. It’s crazy freaky and I love it for that!

26) There is no scene quite as haunting or quite as sad as when Coraline talks with the ghost kids.

Through its use of haunting visuals, eerie sound design, excellent writing, and top notch voice acting from the child actors, this one scene tells you perfectly what exactly the stakes are for this film. What exactly will happen to Coraline if she can’t succeed. And it’s terrifying.

27) I did not remember this line from before and the way Coraline describes the ghost kids to Wybie had me laughing my butt off.

Coraline [about the doll]: “It used to look like this pioneer girl, then Huck Finn Junior, then this ‘Little Rascals’ chick with hair ribbons...”

I don’t know why, but something about hearing her call the kid, “Huck Finn Junior,” is just wildly funny to me.

28) The entire idea of the eyes of the dead children being hidden in the “three wonders” Other Mother crafted for Coraline is not only an excellent way of juxtaposing some of the dream like imagery from earlier with its now nightmarish quality, but it also gives plot relevance to scenes which could have easily just been entertaining and excellent eye candy (Bobinsky’s circus, the garden, and the theater scene). It helps push the writing of this film from good to great.

29) So Coraline thinks she has lost her game with Other Mother and she’s going to end up like the ghost children, when a dead rat with the last eye falls in front of her and The Cat shows up.

The Cat: “I think I’ve mentioned that I don’t like rats at the best of times.”

Coraline: “You may have mentioned it.”

I love these guys.

30) Can we just take a second to appreciate how incredibly frightening Other Mother’s true form is?

Teri Hatcher gets to totally let lose as an actress with this final form of the Other Mother. There’s no more fake niceness, no more hiding, no more tricks. Just sheer, terrifying villainy in all its glory. It’s so creepy and evil and I love it!

31) If you’re ever in a jam with a homicidal maniac, just do what Coraline did:

Throw a cat at the homicidal maniac.

32) I find the web that Coraline falls into with Other Mother perhaps the most frightening visual of the whole film. I love it.

But the way Other Mother shouts after Coraline makes her way through the door is almost equally as terrifying to me. Just the desperation and madness in her voice gives me chills.

Other Mother: “Don’t leave me! Don’t leave me! I’ll die without you!”

33) It is a classic rule of suspense, an almost Hitchcockian rule (although I don’t think he invented it), that the story is never over when you think it is.

The entire final “battle” with Other Mother’s disembodied hand, how it drags Coraline away, how Wybie has to come and save the day but it still keeps going, is all a great final horror movie moment. Just the creeping crawly uncatchable-ness of a spider and how you have to work really hard to squash it. I love that.

34) The final scene of the film resolves the visual conflict Coraline was having with the real world. Everything - hear parents, the neighbors, the flowers - is a bit brighter. A bit closer to her but not so perfectly as the Other World. Things are resolved, but everything is still in the real world. Everything is still honest and it may not be perfect, but it is a happy ending.

It has been a while since I’ve watched Coraline so in all honesty I forgot how good it was. It is an excellent piece of not only animated filmmaking but filmmaking period. The visuals and imagination is incredible, it is truly frightening at times through its use of atmosphere and (again) the visuals at hand, the writing is top notch - ESPECIALLY when it comes to our titular lead - and the voice acting is there to match (Hatcher and Fanning being the clear standouts). It is an incredible film I think everyone should see. It’s just that good.