#renji take your broke ass on outta here nie

[bleach-your-panties]

I love it!!!!!💗💗💗

@bleach-your-panties thank you for using our matchmaking service, your date is so excited to meet you!

Wow, you really picked a tricky one for us huh? The guy didn’t even want to pick up the phone, something about not asking to be put on a dating website. But what does he expect when he’s hot? Of course we had to get his profile, and you both seemed like the perfect match. So we’ve got just the thing for your first date together!

Izuru seemed a little shy, so we decided to set up an axe throwing date for you to do together. So neither of you have to worry about forcing conversation while feeling each other out. And he’s experienced with weapons, so we really think this one will work out.

Although, we definitely didn’t realise Izuru would be bringing a friend along— we did specify it was supposed to be a date. But I guess you’ve gained a third wheel since Renji showed up? He’s just a wingman right? Right—

It makes the date awkward, and we can tell he wants to get to know you but it’s difficult with one of his friends around. He’s still charming right? He helps you position your arms into the perfect angle to hit the target, hands placed on your hips as the tips of his ears turn pink— but it works. But he’s so adorable when he praises you for hitting the target, and you can tell he’s subtly trying to show off to you as he flexes his arms before swinging the axe forward. Okay, we can see why you wanted this one—

It’s worse when it comes to saying goodbye, with his friend looming over his shoulder as the poor guy is too shy to even hug you goodbye.

“It’s bad manners to kiss on the first date, Izuru.” Renji shouts as his friend is ready to have the ground swallow him whole.

Really, we should’ve put a clause somewhere that said no freeloaders, but here we are. I hope Renji didn’t ruin your first date that badly, if you can even call it a date now.

But Izuru sent you the cutest, most romantic text after the date. Putting his thoughts into words as you read pure poetry, all the things he wished he could’ve said to you on the date. And you’re already set up for another?

And hopefully Renji doesn’t gate crash the next one— we mean, unless you’re into that?