#remy honestly didn't realize roman and patton were xir soulmates bc xe doesn't know what xir soulmark looks like

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

trope mashup 24 and 51 w/ any ship

24. Soulmate AU 51. Accidentally Married

I have decided to go with spins a wheel creativisleepality and just for reference this soulmate au is a tattoo one

Remy’s really not one for soulmates- xe’s good with being a free enby, and xe really thinks most people put too much stock in the system. so when xe meets a cutie who doesn’t seem to have any soulmate qualms either xe’s more than happy to spend the night partying with him

one night and too many shots later and Remy’s waking up to a quick-marriage certificate on the nightstand, cutie from the night before snuggling into xir side, and another cutie who was not there the night before bringing in water glasses and offering Remy a bright hello

it takes two glasses of water and several explanations before Remy gets the full picture:

-cutie from the night before is Roman and other cutie is Patton, polyamorous soulmates (on the back of Patton’s lefthand is a blue heart with glasses + a crown; Roman has the same mark in red on the back of his right hand) who don’t really buy into the whole ‘you can only love your soulmate(s) thing.’ -marriage certificate is the result of drunk people doing drunk things. -Roman cuddling into xir side is the result of Roman thinking xir’s cute and funny and warm and not wanting to let xem go. -Patton being there is the result of a drunken Roman calling Patton to boast about his new spouse, and Patton being a good spouse themself and picking them both up so they could crash responsibly in the guest bedroom

Remy, of course, is ‘hey i don’t want to burst your bubble and break your good vibes here so uh we can get this marriage undone and go our separate ways hey Pat sorry your husband here has been cuddling me all night’ but Roman is adamant that Remy is now his spouse and therefore will be his spouse Forever and Patton says that Remy’s not ruining anything and they’d be happy to at least get to know xem as a friend so Guess Remy’s Trapped

a couple of months go by, Remy still legally married to Roman but trying to treat both him and Patton as Just Friends but having trouble with that because Roman’s cute and Patton’s cute and they’re both nice and they like xem so... falling in love anyways huh. but Remy pushes off any attempts on Ro + Pat’s part to take anything further by stating that xe doesn’t want to hurt xir own soulmate (a lie, Remy doesn’t care about xir soulmate, but it does keep xem safe from Feelings)

and that works! y’know. until Roman’s messing with Remy’s long hair and finds xir soulmark hidden on the back of their neck- the same as Roman + Patton’s, just in black (turns out those glasses weren’t Patton’s)

and now Remy’s out of excuses :)