#remus is not trans because well I'm not sure how that work out in the military

[alwaysyouuuuuu]

So i was thinking about your Wolfstar Marvel AU again (it should pay rent with how much it's spinning around my head) and like,,,, Sirius not having any kind of closure about Remus,,, he doesn't know what happened to him, they never found a body or any traces of him and then he was pronounced dead and Sirius just. Doesn't know. He doesn't even know why they took Remus in the first place. And he probably feels guilty about it too (bc ofc he would!!!). Just, the lack of closure of it all, the big question mark haunting him, up until 70+ years later when he's face-to-face with Remus again (I'm loving it)

Hi hi hi!!!! 💕💕💕 Thank you so much for the ask! I am so happy we both find it consuming haha and I agree. AU needs to start paying me hourly wages for just how much it keeps me up and wondering at night. I would be in tears and at the end of my wit, if I had to do just part of this research in school (I was not into history or any literature for school, and that's putting it mildly.) and now I do this willingly lol.

You know one of those, "I'm so glad you asked"- *7 hour long vm* memes? I fear this will end up like that. Bear with me.

Before we get into that, I'll clear up some background? So Remus was first taken along with a lot of their troop (ambush?), and they were partially injected (plot reasons plot reasons!! I feel like you can guess why!!) and the Sirius and co rescued them etc etc. And then Remus was targeted specifically.

So before the permafrost, I feel the situation was very bad for Sirius. For one, he would have agreed to the Serum in the first place because Remus was in captivity (also for the war effort, of course, but to Sirius, at that point there really was no room for question which may have been there otherwise), and then he got Remus back. Just to lose him again.

And then, to the Military and almost everyone else, Hope and Lyall Lupin lost a son, but Sirius Black lost a fellow soldier. He lost a comrade. Sure, they were friends, so him being vengeful is believable, to an extent. And no one really gets the blank look in his eyes, after.

I believe there was a quote that went like, "Should you lose a spouse/partner, there is a shared understanding of the relationship, but when you lose a friend, there's no tangible evidence, no widely acknowledged way to mourn."

Except, for Sirius, he did lose his partner, love of his life and dearest friend of so many years. And no one understands. Maybe James and Lily know, but it is the 40s. Realistically, they are quiet about it at best. For him it is both, and all the more painful. And he doesn't get exactly why Remus was targeted either. Remus was at an integral position in the OSS, unusual for his age, recruited at the very beginning, one of the sharpest minds, so it could have been that. And god, he was cold blooded when he got to fighting. But of course, he cannot shake the feeling that it was because of him.

So, in that time, the days he spent looking for Remus with James and Lily, (which really wasn't much, they would not have been allowed to!) he is partially cynical. Not to the point of self-blaming but enough to self-destruct. James tries to get him out of it, but Lily grits her teeth. She doesn't say much, because she understands, I believe, how much at that point he just wants it to end.

*BAM* permafrost.

After he gains consciousness, he would have blanked out for a while, because what even is this? But he doesn't, because after the first few excruciating minutes, when the blood is pounding in his chest, looking at every flash of light, every building and car that look unnatural, really, the first thing he processes is Moody telling him that the War is over. Good, at least something went well, he thinks.

They tell him many soldiers were rescued, because that's the first thing he asks. After it sinks in, he wants to hope, and maybe he does. Because this is real, he can see it. As outlandish as it is, he is in the future. If this can be real, how foolish would it be to hope that maybe Remus made it too? He would be old, and he would have lived his life. Maybe with someone else, and that's okay. If he gets to see him one more time, Jesus, it's okay.

They tell him what happened with HYDRA and his family. They tell him about James Potter and how he revolutionized weapons, they tell him about Lily Potter, who later went on to join the NSA. God, he gets fucking giddy hearing all of that, because it worked out. For someone, it did. For James and Lily, it did. He wants to meet Harry.

And he starts to have a nagging thought, because with how they speak of and to him, maybe they would have mentioned his known childhood friend. And Remus was known to his own credit.

So he asks, slowly about one Remus Lupin?

And lo and behold. They know of him of course, of course, he was Captain America's best friend. But nothing was known of him post war.

He tries to hold his face and nods, but Moody gives him a strange look. Tells him that he'll look into it for him. He tamps it down, though, there is no point in a wishful fantasy. He would have begged Moody if required, but there really is no point. And he doesn't think he can open his mouth without saying something incriminating.

Moody offers him the initiative, of course, but they tell him to take a breath, see the world, find himself first. And he does, he takes a few days. But then he gets time to think about it, to mull things over, to reevaluate his last choices. When he is trying to ease into the new world, he is busy, things are overwhelming. But once he gets home, he spirals. He remembers how panicky he had been during the first rescue mission. He had been desperate. And what if that clued them in? There were others in the OSS. So why just Remus?

It had to be him.

So he throws himself into missions, trains hard, exhausts himself so doesn't have to think. He does what he's always been doing, he helps SHIELD and doesn't question much, because he is still processing. Some things stick out but one can only handle so much, yeah? Besides, James and Lily were the co-founders.

He finds out. Well. Many things about his past and it's just so much (I'll stop or this itself will spiral to 3k.)

I feel he's quite mercurial at times in these days. Unsettled, but he keeps going. He drinks sometimes, gets shit faced. Those days are increasing, really.

Then he meets Elena.

And there is something striking about her. Such a young girl, and he can see it in her eyes that she has seen a lot. Too much. He sees himself in her. And he is protective. He is maybe a little taken aback. Because she seems so much... like an old soul.

And Elena is drawn to him too. She opens up, slowly, slowly, which she doesn't normally. But he is fiery. Like her. And they mostly have the same stances. She doesn't speak of her childhood, and so he doesn't ask. She does mention she had a dad, and though seemingly not for long, she remembers her name from him.

She seeks out his company and it soothes something in him. I feel he's a little more settled? With time? I mean it's hard to pity yourself when there is someone dragging you out to bowl and join soccer clubs, when that someone is a loner too. Even though thinking of Remus' hurts a little more each day, because he feels that Elena and Remus would get along so well. Man she even fights like him.

So when he sees Remus again, it is whiplash of the worst kind. Remus is just there. Because it is Remus and it is not, and he is standing there just staring because this Remus even fights the same. And he sees Elena standing frozen there, and it suddenly hits him that she looks... like Remus.

Except for her eyes and it is like he is watching everything from afar. All he can do try to hold Remus back. Until Neville flies them away.

Because what has his life come to?

Elena is not responding. She is not even looking at him. And Sirius is thinking a thousand miles an hour. I think he'd find out everything he can about whoever this Winter Soldier is.

Before they finally bring R in for questioning I feel S would be overcome with guilty and longing and a lot of painful confusion, really.

And mostly, Sirius is guilt ridden. Remus was in there, with them doing who knows what to him, for 70 years? He never deserved that. Sirius was outwardly rebellious. It was his family helping fund HYDRA. And then there's Elena. Is Elena Remus'? Because how in the world did Remus manage to have a kid while he was trapped in a facility?

There is something really cool about her name. if you look closely.

Outside of his blackouts, Remus solely spoke Russian to everyone around him for 70 years right? So it seems logical that's what he'd speak to elena in that environment, mind controlled half the time etc, before they were separated (she was like. 7) and he'd find it a little difficult to slip into English again, or that's what Elena thinks. So when he demands to meet her first, she storms in, defensive stance (Sirius is standing right outside by the way) but Remus just blinks. Because they said it was Elena Chernova. But it's not. It's Helena Black.

And Sirius just. Dies a little.

Basically. He is spiralling.

So is this, so I'll stop here.

Based on this post. + snippet.

[floralembarrassment]

Problems... (1/4)

"Sirius I don't know how to tell them..." Regulus whispered into the dark of his brother's room.

"Reggie I promise you they are not going to care. Effie literally lobbied the PTA so a girl James didn't even know could play on the girls volleyball team. Volleyball Regulus not a single one of us even cares about volleyball! She wasn't even in our year," Sirius replied back.

He was trying to be reassuring but as he watched his brother worry his lip between his teeth he knew it wasn't working.

"James knows, yeah?" Sirius question.

"Yes," Regulus replied tentatively.

Sirius' eyes narrowed as he got side tracked and starred at Regulus in the dark, "are you two being safe?"

Regulus shoved Sirius and rolled his eyes so big he was sure they would fall out. "Oh my gosh Sirius I'm not talking to you about that!"

"Well you're talking about to me about needing tampons so how am I supposed to know what's off limits?" Sirius laughed lightening the mood.

"Ugggg" Regulus groaned and flopped back on the bed.

Sirius fell backwards to lay next to him. He let their pinkies join together like when they were kids. "Look, I can help you or James can or heck we both can. But I swear on Remus' life, Effie and Monty are not going to care that you are trans, but Effie will feel really bad if you ruin all of your pants for something she could've helped with." Sirius said, nudging Regulus who chuckled slightly at the last part.

After a few moments of silence Regulus took a deep breath. He gathered all his courage and got up from the bed, because he knew Sirius was right and because he did want Effie and Monty to know, he was just so afraid of the reaction going wrong.

"Okay. I can do this," he whispered to himself as he walked across the room.

Sirius got up and followed him.

"No no Sirius, it's okay. I want to do this on my own," Regulus said in his true fashion. He would find Sirius later, after he processed how it went to then dissect it with his brother.

"Oh I know, I'm going to have a little talk with James," Sirius said. "I'm not ready to be a uncle just yet," Sirius added firmly.

Regulus shoved him into the wall but let him keep walking towards James' room as Regulus slowly walked down the stairs to find Effie for his own little talk.

[calamitoustide]

I just had the mental image of one of those "a and b already know each other but they don't know it fic partially because one of them is trans" but it's not just Regulus that's trans

It's all of them: James and Sirius are mtf, Regulus and Remus are tfm. There is not one name that is still the same as it was back when they first used to know each other

ohhh you do know I love myself some mtf James... thinking thought!

I've been thinking a lot about childhood friends to lovers jeg recently and I think like if they were all friends it would be interesting! They would be younger like maybe around seven or so when they were first all friends with each other. Sirius, Jamie, and Remus all walked over to this park together when they met and Sirius obviously started bringing Regulus to tag around too.

It was only for a summer, and according to them one of the best summers they've ever had. Every day was hazy and sweet. Filled with that childhood nostalgia and innocence one can only have when you're that young. They'd walk through the wood and Sirius and Jamie would argue over who could climb to the top of one of the trees the fastest. I've never liked Remus and Regulus as friends and I still see that even as children Regulus argues with Remus all the time, but more in a younger sibling kinda way. Regulus always needs to be right even when he's obviously wrong.

One day James brings these little wooden swords for them all to play make-pretend. They'd be pirates or warriors, whatever their little hearts desired.

One day Sirius would beg Remus to bring in some of his princess dress-up clothes. Neither Remus nor Regulus would want to wear them, but Sirius and Jamie would. They were too young to fully understand why they wanted to so badly, but they were children it didn't matter. They both wore those tiaras and Sirius put on the dress and then kept asking Remus if he thought she looked pretty in it. Nothing else mattered. It was only the four of them.

They'd go and scream into the wind if they wanted to. They would sing and dance as the sun went down and the fireflies came out.

Some days Regulus would be overstimulated by everything, even if it wasn't because of the group. Their group was their little oasis away from everything but sometimes home grew over top of it. So he'd be quiet and keep to himself and say he wants to be alone, but Jamie wouldn't care. She'd sit right down beside him and ask the other two to go ahead. They'd stay in their little burrow in between the trees the entire day. Jamie's only goal being to make Regulus smile at least once. And she always succeded.

Of course, every perfect summer has to end eventually. They couldn't stay like that forever. Remus moved to another town because of his father's work. Sirius and Regulus were locked up as soon as their parents found out they were sneaking out every day. Jamie slowly stopped waiting for them to see her at the playground. That was that. The summer was gone and they were never supposed to see each other again.

They didn't remember each other's faces all that well, it was hazy, and in time even the names were a faint memory. But when they were old enough and Sirius and Regulus had left each other, they'd go on their computers trying to find anything, a sign that the rest of them were there. Of course, because they all changed their names there was nothing.

I'm not sure how they'd all meet again. It would be the pairs though, Jamie would meet Regulus. Sirius would meet Remus, and they'd both feel this spark. They wouldn't understand why that spark was there, they just felt so comfortable around the other person. Like they knew them all their life.

When they were together Regulus and Jamie would one day drive down the street to which the park belongs and James would point out and explain the story of the four of them. Regulus would force her to stop the car immediately which she did of course Regulus was pulling her arm all the way into the forest and he'd test her as if she was lying to him. What did they do here? What did she tell him here? When they were playing pirates who was always the damsel in distress needing to be rescued?

With Sirius and Remus though I feel like it would come in the middle of the night. They'd be lying beside each other and Sirius would have this feeling and she couldn't sleep so she just told Remus the story of her old friendships in the forest. She would tell him she swears she's close to them like they're trying to send her a sign or something. Remus would look at her like she was an idiot for being so close to the truth and not seeing it... well first he would look at her in disbelief considering he had no fucking clue Sirius was the angel he met when he was young his mind told him he made up, and then he'd tease her for it.

Eventually, the group would work their way together again. They'd find the other pairs and vow to meet back at the park at sunrise to spend the day together. They expect to go to a coffee shop or something, but instead they end up spending the entire day in the woods, just like they were kids. They didn't even notice the time flying by until the sun went down.

[somelokivariant]

Remus Lupin? What's up with that dude?

word count: 1K A/N: This general idea was just too funny i had to write it 😭 (You'll see what "it" is) So that's what I did I sat for an hour and typed <333 here u go

The marauders sat around the common room pouring over rolls of parchment and textbooks.

“My brain cannot absorb anymore information” Sirius sighed as he flopped onto his back. 

“Didn’t think it could absorb anything to begin with Pads, I'm proud of you.” responded Remus. 

Sirius stuck out his tongue. He did have a point though, The past week they had been cramming in studying for their NEWTS any spare time they got. 

“Remus, are you coming out with us after exams?” Lily asked, “Next saturday?” 

“Yeah that- wait Saturday? I don’t think I can actually. Sorry guys.” He was genuinely disappointed, they've been hustling all week, and now school was over. Unfortunately he had other plans.

Sirius pulled his Sirius-esque pouting face “Mooooooons!” 

“It’s uh, ‘that time of the month’” James hinted to Sirius. 

Sirius was less discreet, “OH right of course hun.”

The girls looked questioningly at each other, but didn’t pry. 

“Oh well, maybe next time.” 

- - - 

Remus and Lily were on prefect duty, quizzing each other as they made rounds through the halls. 

“...is why transfiguration is regarded as a somewhat scientific magic- Remus? Are you listening?” 

Lily turned to see Remus stopped in the middle of the hall a couple steps behind. She went back to get him, looping her arm in his. He told her he had a light headache, and it was probably just because he didn’t sleep well last night.

“You don’t sleep well a lot of nights Remus you should work on that.” She said in a sort of teasing, mostly serious way. He promised he would, but Lily was still a bit concerned.

- - - 

The four boys, Lily, Mary and Marlene all sat in the back of the class together, except now instead of plotting they were frantically trying to write down everything Slughorn was saying. 

“How much lavender did he say?”  whispered Peter.

“Four sprigs” whispered back Remus. 

“The same for valerian sprigs?”

“Yes.” 

“Where do the sopophorous beans come from?” Peter leaned over again.

“From the sopophorous plant.”

“Yes of course. Why the flobberworm mucus?”

“Just to thicken the solution” 

“Wouldn’t that make it harder to drink though?”

"I guess it would Pete, can you stop asking me stupid questions now?” Remus said, a little louder than he intended. He felt bad at the hurt look on Peter's face. 

“Is there a problem back there?” asked Slughorn.

Remus told him no, and left as soon as they were dismissed. 

“I'm sure he's just a bit stressed,” reassured James as they watched him leave. 

- - - 

Exams were finally over. 

Remus was sitting with Mme. Pomfrey like every other month. The other three boys came over to tell him they were going to hogsmeade, and they would make it back as soon as it got dark. Remus told them not to worry, they should enjoy their end of year, without needing to wait on him. Of course they told him that was ridiculous, they would do anything for their Moony. 

Meanwhile Lily, Mary and Marlene were waiting at the entrance of Hogsmeade. James told them they were just dropping Remus off at the infirmary because he ‘wasn’t feeling well’. 

“It’s really too bad Remus couldn’t come today,” said Marlene.

“This happens every month,” said Lily. 

The three of them looked at each other.

“Did you notice his headaches?” lily asked them, “He almost fainted on rounds last week.” 

“It could just be finals?” 

“Or his mood swings lately?” 

“Same thing, every month.” 

They noticed the boys coming over, and the six of them headed into town. 

Marlene tried asking them what exactly happened to Remus, and they answered confidently that he just had a stomach ache. Huh.

After a few seconds of silence Mary broke the ice, “Is Remus trans?”

The boys looked stunned. “What?” 

“He's definitely on his period” “The mood swings?”

“Everymonth he ‘falls ill’” 

“Of course we’d support him either way.” 

“Only a trans kid would name himself ‘Remus’” 

“Sorry if we’re overstepping.”

The boys kind of panicked, what were they supposed to say? “Oh no he's actually just a werewolf”? 

“Yep. Yep that's what it is. That's his big secret.” Peter told them.

James and Sirius just smiled and nodded aggressively. “Please keep it!” 

They promised of course they would, and continued their walk.

“Welp guys,” James whispered, “Good job, we are such good secret keepers!” 

- - - 

Monday Remus was back, looking a little sore but overall better than before. He and Lily were back on prefect duty.

“It’s crazy this is our last year here. I’m gonna miss you guys.” 

“Hey, We’ll still see each other after grad,” She paused, “Remus just know, that you’re my best friend, and I love you and support you always.” 

“I appreciate it, Lils, really.” Remus looked at her kind of confused, “This just end of the year stuff or-?”  

“Just Saturday, you couldn't come out with us, and we asked James and Sirius and Peter and they told us why. Or really we figured it out ourselves-” 

“Oh. Am I really that transparent?” He looked down. 

“Oh no I’m not saying that. It's not like its er visible- but, we’re girls too so we thought-” 

“So it wasn't my scars then? Wait, girls too-?? Lily what?” 

“Your scars-?” 

The two of them stood staring at each other confused. 

“Peter said you’re trans?” 

“Trans!? No Lily I-” Remus bent over laughing. “I’m gay sure, but not trans.” 

“Then why do you ‘get sick’ every month? We thought you had a period and just didn’t want anyone to know-?” She looked kind of embarrassed now.

“Lils, I-I’m a werewolf. Full moon.” 

“Ohhhh.” She looked at him, he looked back at her. “OH!” There it was. They stood a bit more.

“So… that love and support stuff still stand?” He asked quietly. 

She linked his arm, “Of course Remus. You’re still my friend, trans-boy or werewolf.” 

He laughed and they started walking again arm in arm.

“Wait, is that why they call you ‘Moony’???”

[balladofmoony]

my all the time babies aka fic recommendations

I read so many fics these past two years and these works are absolutely piece of art I'm sure I missed so many of my favorites but I might add them later too! Hope you like it 🤍

COMPLETE WORKS

• If You'd Stayed a Stranger by melpomenite

71k | Teen Up and Audiences | Wolfstar & Jily

this fic is the love of my life. i can't express how i loved it the first time i read it. remus is the heir of the house lupin that was cursed years ago and sirius comes across to him at a night he was seeking refuge after his escape from his family. it has an ending that crushes your soul but i wouldn't call it a sad one. give it a shot, if feels like reading a fairytale when you were nine years old and i'm not kidding.

• Step & Repeat by TherestheSnitch

62k | Mature | Wolfstar

fake dating. i rest my case. (no im not) sirius is this uprising star and remus as one of his best friends starts to fake date him. I waited every chapter for this fic it was everything you could ask for. the ending made me giggle so hard you wouldn't believe. the writer put so much work into it I'm absolutely in love with this one.

• Hypothetically by halictus

50k | Teen Up and Audiences | Wolfstar

I LOVE SO MUCH WHEN THEY ARE NERDS. I have no idea if the writer had a knowledge about science before this but anyway it left me in awe well because I'm a bitch for anything I don't fully understand. remus and sirius are scientists but they have a history and meet again at a summer camp. exes to lovers AND trans remus. sirius is the most adorable person ever.

• A Wolf, A Bear, A Dungeon Master, and Boy Wonder by ratmom819

31k | General Audience | Wolfstar & Dorlene

teddy has joined a DnD campaign and his DM is Sirius. harry has a teacher and he happens to be teddy's father remus. harry and teddy are always a delight but in this one they are on another level. harry and remus's relationship and sirius being best of herself. they even have a band!

•A Stuffed Nose and A Senseless Boy by moonscone

34k | General Audience | Wolfstar & Dorlene & Jily

I laughed my heart out multiple times reading this one. It's funny it makes me giggle it makes me cry. It has pining remus and and sirius. they both are in gryffindor but remus is best friends with lily and he doesn't have close relationship with james and sirius. sirius makes a fool out of himself just to catch his attention and uh... my boys.

•Meet You in the Middle by moonscone

46k | General Audience | Wolfstar & Jily

SO. As you might see I love everything moonscone wrote. Especially this one well because it has pining star sirius? Nervous remus being the best teacher. JAMES AND LILY IN THIS I SWEAR TO GOD THEY ARE ADORABLE. It has found family. When James and Lily get in an accident Remus is left on his own to take care of their six year old son Harry for a time. He meets Sirius the Godfather and the chaos ensues.

•(So I'll Take My) Good Fortune by orphan_account

55k | explicit | wolfstar

I dont know how many times I've read this one. Sirius is portrayed so beautifully and Lupin family is actually a very big part of it? Like we see their dynamic very closely. It has biracial remus AND TEDDY. I love a little teddy fic. Give a shot. I don't know how but it made me question the way I was brought up because remus is such a good father.

•Remain in Light by veeagainst

175k | Explicit | Wolfstar

In this one we see what would happen if sirius didn't die in the ministry. I generally don't like this concept but in this one everything makes so much sense and it's so beautifully written. I loved everything in it.

WORKS IN PROGRESS

•Defining Moments by Gemmie_Bear

99k | explicit | Wolfstar & Jily

Vampire Sirius and erotica writer Remus. James in this is the best boy ever and so in love with Lily as always. I don't know if the writer will continue this one but honestly even if it's not complete its a blast to read.

• i call him moony, he calls me pretty by moonysmaddness

71k | not rated | Wolfstar & Jegulus & Pandalily & Dorlene & Rosekiller & O'knutzy

It mainly a wolfstar fic and YES it's based on sweather weather so we see lion hockey team too! Remus is an musician who needs a space and he takes a vacation to Gryfindor where he meets his best friends brother. They fall in love and everything about it is so cute. There is a signs of Jegulus but nothing major right now.

• I Speak Because I Can by glossssy

26k | not rated | Wolfstar

"Having recently quit his world-famous rock band to get sober and care for his son, remus has moved back to his hometown and is looking for something to pass the time. luckily, a local cover band is looking for a new bassist." remus relationship with teddy and his new band mates is great. I just listened to Noah kahan while reading this. I hope we'll read more its gorgeous.

•Email My Heart by backtosaturn, icarus_and_the_sun

68k | Teen and Up Audiences | wolfstar

"When Sirius Black accidentally sends her philosophy paper to Remus Lupin they do what only Remus Lupin would do. They return it, with comments. Told mostly through their exchanged emails, watch Sirius Black and Remus Lupin fall in love. Every lifetime means every lifetime."

[bing-fucker]

Oh! Intrulogical tentacle alien smut! Like, say Remus is the alien and is a shapeshifter species and has tentacles? Or the kink with the eggs (I cannot for the life of me remember it I'm sorry) -♧

Nice

Warnings: Xenophilia, tentacles, ovipositioning, breeding, use of femine-coded words for a trans man's genitals, Remus, Impregnation

Notes: Logan is a trans man. Star Trek AU. Also, I am aware that Changelings probably don't procreate using eggs, but they haven't canonically said how they do.

Logan had always been fascinated by aliens, and space as a whole. Which was why he was very lucky to be able to work on a starship. It was all incredible, and amazing! It was fantastic, and Logan loved it.

And the view across his lab wasn't too bad, either. As one of the leading science officers in Starfleet, Logan was often in his lab. And his lab was right across from the engineering department. And in said engineering department, was Remus.

Remus was a Changeling- a race of liquid shapeshifting lifeforms native to the Gamma quadrant. In his natural form Remus was, as all Changelings were, a bit strange looking. Not that Logan minded that- Remus was hot in all forms. But him and his twin's (a pilot named Roman that was usually on the bridge) preferred a more human form.

Logan spent a majority of his free time watching Remus work in engineering. He was usually working on his own project, making some fun new machine or any other random thing he felt like. And those were the best times, because it meant that they could talk and flirt, as they were doing now.

"So, what are you working on now?" Logan asked, leaning over Remus' desk- more interested in Remus notcing his ass than what he was actually working on.

Remus looked over and quirked an eyebrow, licking his lips lightly. "Oh, nothing much," he said softly, walking over to Logan and brushing his hand over his ass- soft enough that he could pass it off as an accident.

"Well, what is it?"

"It's a music box for Roman. Be broke his last one, so I'm fixing it up for him. It's pretty boring work- I welcome distractions." Remus grinned lasciviously, standing very close behind Logan.

Logan blushed faintly and "accidentally" pressed his ass back against Remus. "I think it's rather interesting. Engineering is very complicated, I'm impressed. You must have very skilled hands."

"Oh, I do," Remus purred, gently wrapping an arm around Logan and pulling him up and against his chest. "Wouldn't you like to know just how skilled~?"

Logan pretended to think about it for a second. "I think I have a few minutes free."

"Oh, baby, it'll take more than a few minutes," Remus laughed, pushing everything off his desk carelessly and lifting Logan onto it.

Logan blushed and kissed Remus passionately, spreading his legs and pulling the alien closer.

Remus purred and gripped Logan's hips, sticking his tongue practically down his throat as they kissed. Logan moaned softly, already growing wet.

Logan pulled away from the kiss to take off his and Remus' shirts, purring softly and running his hands across the alien's chest. Remus purred softly and leaned down, taking one of Logan's nipples into his mouth and sucking harshly.

Logan gasped and gripped Remus' hair, moaning softly.

"Ah, Remus, careful of your teeth," he whimpered, shuddering at the gentle scrape against the sensitive bud.

Remus groaned and gripped Logan's thighs, pulling the human nearly off the desk and grinding their clothed crotches together.

Logan moaned softly. "F-fuck, Re. I'm so wet for you."

"Good," Remus growled, stepping away and savagely ripping Logan and his pants off, licking his lips at Logan's near-dripping pussy. "Look at you, all messy for me~"

Logan blushed and pulled him into another kiss, moaning into it as something thick and slimy rubbed against his clit. "Wh-what is that?" he panted against Remus' lips, leaning their foreheads together.

"A tentacle, darling," Remus said, grinning. "I prefer tentacles over those messy human cocks." Logan looked down and, sure enough, Remus cock was a large, thick, squirming tentacle. He let out a started moan as the other tentacle suctioned against his clit.

"So hot," Remus moaned, kissing Logan again. His tongue took the form of another tentacle, pushing itself down his throat as both Remus and Logan moaned. Remus gripped his hips tightly as he pushed his cock inside.

Logan swallowed around Remus' tentacle tongue, drool from both him and his partner leaking down his chin. Remus moaned and thrusted, his squirming tentacle cock reaching deeper than Logan thought anybody could.

They stayed like that for what seemed like pleasure-hazed hours, but was probably only a few minutes until Remus pulled away from the kiss.

"No, don't stop," Logan whimpered. "I'm so close."

"I know, baby, me too," Remus grunted, a slightly gold sheen to his skin. "Can I cum inside of you?"

"God, yes," Logan moaned, dragging his nails down Remus' back as he came, pussy pulsing around him.

Remus groaned and came, burying himself deep inside of Logan as his eggs filled the human.

"Fuck," Logan whimpered, holding Remus in place until he was done.

Remus blushed and pulled away, helping Logan fix his clothes. "Uhm. We're gonna have to talk to HR," he said awkwardly.

Logan looked down at his already bulging stomach and laughed softly. "Yeah. About a few things."

[aroacehogwarts]

could hufflepuff mod write about demiromantic pansexual trans boy lily and biromantic demisexual trans girl james raising harry together? (i'm not sure what james and lily would change their names to, but i think jamie would work for james!)

I’m glad people (or maybe just one of you =p ) are enjoying these types of stories!

(Trans people aren’t required to change their names, and if they do, it doesn’t have to be close to their deadname. I know that makes things easier in fandom so we know who is who but for the sake of representing this, I chose the name Noah for Lily, who I feel would like the softer qualities of both names, though in Rowling-verse, it’s pretty likely she would choose some sort of floral-inspired name for her middle name, like maybe Ash, Basil, Sage, or Rowan.)

~

Noah thought it all a little flowery and dramatic, but he truly did love Jamie, and what was wrong with indulging your significant other every now and then? With a flick of his wand, he finished conjuring the last of the flowers to decorate the Potter’s backyard. With a deep breath, he brushed his suit off, felt in the pocket to ensure the ring was there, and situated himself in the middle of the arrangement he’d conjured. In just a few minutes, Sirius, Remus, and Peter would all return to the Potter’s House, where Euphemia would insist on inviting them all in for some tea. Jamie would protest that they’d just gone out for food, but Peter would claim he was still hungry and Remus would shrug like ‘who can argue with your mum?’, then Sirius would drag them all in and flash Jamie a grin. Because the two were so close, the grin would give Jamie her first flutters that something was up. When Euphemia said it was such a nice night that they should gather in the backyard for tea, Jamie would know before she stepped outside what -

Noah smiled at his beloved. He was certain his hands were shaking.

Jamie shook her head and tried to back inside, but an excitable Sirius gave her a rough push towards Jamie. “N-now?” she asked, stumbling towards Noah.

Noah knelt to one knee, presenting the ring to Jaime. He did his best to block out Euphemia, Fleamont, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Marlene, and Alice (the last two of which had been hiding inside in waiting), gathered and grinning back near the house.

“You know better than anyone how rough a start we had, Jamie,” he started, the words tumbling out too low and fast to hide just how nervous he was, “but you should also know better than anyone else what we’ve been through and just how much I love you. I don’t know how long it will be, but I want to spend every last second of our life together. Will you marry me? Potter?”

And then, as if she’d been stuck in slow motion, Jamie rushed the rest of the way to him, bending to pull him up and kiss him, deeply, desperately. “Yeah, of course, No’! Dammit, put that ring on me now.”

Noah laughed as he slid the ring on Jamie’s finger as their friends and family came out to hug and celebrate with them.

.

Jamie had thought she was the only trans person at Hogwarts. What a silly thought that had been. In fifth year, everything began changing, and that’s when she bit the jinx and came out and moved into a dorm that seemed oddly lonely compared to where she’d slept her first few years.

In the week that followed her coming out (which was in true, spectacular Marauder’s style thanks to her amazing friends), Professor Flitwick gave her five points for good spellwork when she was distracted and goofing off in class, Professor McGonagall asked her to come to her office and treated her to some biscuits, no less than 17 students (spanning all four Houses, no less) thanked her or high fived her for “you know what you did”, and the student he’d been voraciously pursuing since first year offered his (hers at the time) hand and said “things have been quieting down between us for a while now. What do you say to officially starting offer?” It wasn’t until a year later that Noah came out and switched dorms, but that moment had meant everything to Jamie.

.

“That’s actually called asexuality,” Remus nonchalantly remarked, taking his third homemade chocolate chip cookie of the night.

“Hm?” Jamie distractedly asked, Noah’s legs in her lap as she played with his hair, simply adoring his new haircut.

“What you just described. Well, technically, asexual spectrum - and more specifically, demisexuality. You know. You only romanticaly liking Noah until long after you two became friends and started dating.”

“Wait, what?” Noah said, slapping Jamie’s hands away. He looked very intensely at Remus and Jamie took that as a sign to pay attention.

Remus sighed. “Was that a please-repeat-what-you-said-for-a-third-time-what?”

An annoyed look crossed Noah’s face and he pushed hard down on Jamie’s shoulder in order to stand. The movement was awkward thanks to the eight month old baby growing inside of him. “Remus,” he started, Jamie quickly shifting to help push her husband up to standing all the way, “I am super pregnant, which is making me incredibly uncomfortable. I’ve been holding what is probably my 50th pee of the day for the past half hour, trying to block out your loud-as-Merlin’s-balls-slapping-together cookie crunching, and my ankles are just throbbing. I am also getting more and more dysphoric by the day, so much so that I’m not sure how I’m going to survive another month of this, no matter how much I want this little one, and I was having what was the most intimate time with my partner since this pregnancy began and you and the other’s refused to let us have any time alone. So yeah, when I ask you to actually explain what you’ve barely hinted at twice, I am really asking you to explain.”

Jamie ducked her face below the couch to try and smother out the giggles. She actually heard Moony’s gulp as he set down the cookie and tried to placate Noah with a surrendering hand gesture. Face smoothed over, Jamie peeked up over the couch.

And that’s when Remus gave them a thorough and informative explanation on asexuality and the asexual spectrum. Noah finally took a break to pee, and when he returned, Remus finished by talking about aromanticism. Then, seemingly for good measure, offered to talk about other identities, such polysexual, polyromantic, and nonbinary identities.

Jamie thought that Remus could have shared this information with them much sooner. She immediately pegged herself as demisexual, finally clicking into place what her sexuality was. Not just bisexual but bi and demisexual. For once, she did her thinking quietly, as Noah murmured. “Demiromantic. Oooooh.”

“Hey!” Jamie said. “Does that make us demi buddies?”

Noah rolled his eyes, but laughed. “Demi multisexual buddies,” he smiled. Noah was pansexual. Seems like Remus’ lecture had done the best job of distracting Noah from his dysphoria yet, as her husband looked more comfortable - if he could be called comfortable at this point - than he had in months.

“Hey, how long’ve you been sitting on all that, Moony?” Noah had been the one to teach them (well, Remus, who had then shared it with the rest of the Marauders) about things like gay and bi and pan (Remus was bi while Sirius was gay, they’d eventually realized), so it was interesting now for Remus to be on the sharing side and Noah the learning side.

“Erm… a couple years now. A while after Noah helped me realize I was bi, I got curious. Were these muggle-only terms? Did we have our own terms that had been created? Were there other possibilities, other identities? How common have these been throughout history? So I started doing some research.”

Noah, who was closer to Remus than Jamie, swatted at him. “And you never shared? Rude,” he teased, though he was clearly exasperated. 

“Sorry.” Remus lifted his hand to his neck and rubbed at it. “Things, ah, happened… between us. And it… didn’t seem important after that.”

Oh, Jamie realized. Sirius using Remus and almost getting Severus killed. Yeah. That… had been a terrible year. Things still hadn’t exactly returned to normal, even now.

“You talking earlier. For some reason, it just made that pop back in my head.”

. 

“Harry,” Noah said, smiling down at his precious new baby, finally revealing his name choice to Jamie. They’d both decided to just pick their favorite names and decide which order they should go in after the baby was born. They didn’t do anything like pick a name for either a boy or girl. They just picked their favorites. Harry: a new name for a new member of their family.

Jamie squeezed his shoulder and looked down upon her child, unable to stop grinning. “James,” she revealed. 

Noah looked up at her, then smiled. A name of their past, which also served as a nod to Jamie’s parents. Both had semi-recently lost their parents (Noah’s hadn’t even seen their wedding), though Jamie more recently so and having a lot of trouble moving forward from it.

“Harry James,” Noah whispered.

“James Harry?” Jamie said, but she already knew.

“Harry James,” the new parents said in unison. Harry blinked. Their hearts absolutely melted in cuteness.

.

“Harry, please, go to sleep,” Jamie begged, rocking the babe for what seemed like hours now.

He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had been rallying hard recently, especially against their little family and the poor Longbottom’s, now with a beautiful baby of their own. Just a couple weeks ago, Dumbledore himself had come to Jamie and Noah and insisted they and Harry were in grave danger and needed to hide. With Dumbledore and Sirius both pushing hard for them to hide and the desire to protect Harry overriding everything else, they’d agreed.

Harry was seemingly less than happy at the arrangement. Or maybe Jamie was projecting. 

She loved Noah with all her heart, and she didn’t even understand how her heart beat before Harry had been born, but being locked up inside their house without any of their friends and no news of the outside world was wearing on all of them.

.

Harry was cradled against Noah’s chest. For once, he was silent, as silent as the tears that rolled down Noah’s face. Jamie herself felt numb. She could be crying. She honestly didn’t know.

Moony looked like shit. Between even more scars thanks to Dumbledore’s work for him and the lack of sleep he’d gotten seemingly singlehandedly trying to organize Sirius’ trail, he was a complete wreck. Jamie’d never seen him look so bad, not even right after a full moon.

“Peter… Wormtail - he… betrayed us?” So much had happened so quickly. How could it have all gone down like this?

“Sirius put things together, realized Peter was going to betray you. Went after them. There was a big duel. Aurors are saying he’s dead, but… you know. Unregistered animagus. Sirius thinks - and I agree - that he’s in the wind.” Aurors had arrested him and tried sending him to jail as a Death Eater, but Remus and Dumbledore had apparently rallied hard last night, immediately after he was arrested, and at least managed to secure him a trial. Jamie hated to think what would have happened if He-Who-Had-Must-Not-Be-Named had gone after them instead of the Longbottom’s. Not just because that would mean their child had been murdered but because then Sirius would be the only one with the knowledge that Peter was the secret-keeper and he’d have no chance even with a trial. As it was, it was only thanks to Remus’ ingenious thought of letting them all communicate through objects charmed with the protean charm in case anything had gone bad that Jamie had known it was time to come out of hiding.

“Alice and Frank?” Noah’s voice cracked. Jamie had known Alice and talked with Frank a few times, but Alice and Noah had been really close, especially after what had happened with Severus.

Moony looked down and shook his head. “Dead,” he said, voice raspy and thin. “Killed protecting Neville.”

Noah shook his head and bent over Harry, kissing the top of his skull and dripping tears on his head.

“Neville?” Jamie asked. Remus had been slowly taking them through everything they’d missed since they’d gone in hiding. Jamie was exhausted and heartbroken. She didn’t want to ask but had to know.

“Scarred. But alive, somehow. I think Dumbledore said something about ancient magicks, but… I wasn’t really listening past Neville surviving and… and defeating Him.”

Jamie shook his head. Neville’s life as a miracle but a miracle she didn’t understand.

“Who-” Noah looked up again, “is he going to?” Jamie understood in that instant that Noah would volunteer them to adopt Neville if their family situation was like hers and Noah’s. And Jamie would absolutely go along with it.

“Grandmother, I believe.” Remus rubbed at his eyes and stifled a yawn.

“Here,” Jamie got up on instinct, her mother’s blood running through her veins. “When was the last time you slept? Borrow our bed. Trust me, we understand exhaustion. Get some sleep.”

Remus looked at Noah for confirmation, but he was done. He held Harry close and stared at the table. Jamie gently led her friend to bed. She had so many more questions, but then, didn’t they all?

.

“NOAH, NOOOAAAH!” Jamie screamed, too excited to control her volume, even though she knew it could scare Harry.

“What!?” Noah rushed into their living room, and Jamie felt bad for scaring him.

She danced, jumping from foot to foot, and pointed at Harry. “He’s walking; he’s walking!”

Indeed, on chubby legs, little Harry had pulled himself up on his legs and was toddling his fourth step towards his mum.

The worry immediately melted away from Noah’s face as he gracefully sank to his knees and held his arms out. Not to specifically reach for Harry, though that’s what it looked like. Feeling as though she was positively glowing, Jamie followed suit, bending down to the floor and holding her arms art. “That’s right, my little fawn, come to mommy!”

Giggles burst forth out of Harry as he sped up and fell into Jamie’s arms. Jamie laughed and picked him up, holding up towards the ceiling. “That was amazing, little fawn!”

Noah’s one arm snaked around Jamie’s waist as the other reached up to grab at Harry’s hand. He clutched Noah’s hand back, happily kicking his legs, glad to have made his parents happy.

“Sirius is going to kick himself for missing this!”

Noah kissed her cheek. “I bet winning that money from you and Remus will help him get over it, though.”

Jamie lowered Harry to her chest. “What?” she sputtered. “I don’t-”

Noah laughed and leaned towards Harry to kiss him on the cheek too. Harry clapped. “You think I don’t know when you bet on our son with your friends.” Noah shook his head and lightly slapped Jamie on the butt. “You should know me better than that by now, dear.”

Jamie laughed, relaxing. She kissed Harry’s forehead and was rewarded with more giggling and clapping. “Let’s see how far you can walk,” she said proudly, gently placing Harry back on the ground.

Noah returned to the other side of the room, lighting up. “Yes, that’s right. Can you walk all the way over here, Harry?”

.

Merlin, oh Merlin, it looked bad! “C’mere, Harry,” Noah said, heart pounding furiously. “Let me see.” His five year old son sobbed, big ol’ gator tears that, for once, Noah was frightened by. “Just let me see it, okay?”

“Ow, ow, oooow,” Harry cried, not lifting his hands from his knee, though even through the hands, Noah could see the blood.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Jamie said, coming to a rest behind Harry instead of hovering over Noah. “Oh, I’m so sorry, just let dad have a look, okay.”

“Noo, hurts!” Harry hiccuped. 

“Here,” Noah said. “Breathe with me, Harry. Look, breathe in… Okay, out. When you breathe out, take your hands off, okay? It’ll help it not hurt.”

Jamie combed her fingers through her kid’s thick, wild hair, as wild as her own. “And when you let go, you can hold my hand and squeeze it as hard as you want, okay?”

Harry nodded, already sniffling.

“Breathe in… Ready? And out…” Noah gently lifted Harry’s hands from his knee. Jamie reached in, taking Harry’s small hands in her own. He immediately started squeezing tight, sucking in a breath of air through a wavering lip. Jamie kissed the top of his head.

Noah’s eyes crinkled and tightened. Nearly immediately after, Harry’s grip relaxed and he dropped Jamie’s hand to pull at his knee, eyes wide in amazement. Noah’s expression relaxed. “See, all better, right?”

“Mommy!” Harry said, already forgetting he was supposed to be appearing pathetic. With another wordless spell, Noah cleaned their son up, taking the blood of his - and Jamie’s - hands as well. After another moment’s inspection, Harry grew bored and stood up by putting his hands on the ground, sticking his butt in the air, and then straightening up. Jamie laughed.

Harry ran back to the toy broom he’d fallen off of only moments later. The floating spell had deactivated as soon as Harry had rolled off, and it started up again as Harry put his hand over it and the broom jumped into his hand. “Again, again! I wanna ride more!” He bounced on his feet, looking expectantly at Noah and Jamie, trying to decide who’d be most likely to let him back on the broom.

Noah shook his head but didn’t dissent. With a whoop, Jamie leaped up and went to help Harry back on the broom, though she did flick the hover down lower so if Harry fell again, it wouldn’t be from so high. When it was clear Harry had his balance back, Jamie went to stand by Noah. She gave her a friendly elbow. “Did you see that? He’s a natural,” she grinned.

“You mean he doesn’t know when to quit,” Noah deadpanned, but Jamie knew she wasn’t angry.

.

Of course they’d brought Harry to Diagon Alley before, but there was something special about bringing your kid to Diagon Alley to go shopping for their first year of school.

They’d gotten Harry’s robes, books, and wand (holly with dragon core, slightly springy). They’d run into Hagrid at Madam Malkin’s and had a friendly reunion, introducing Harry to the groundskeeper. The two had immediately hit it off. Hagrid, unfortunately, couldn’t spend much time chatting, as he’d gotten Dumbledore to convince Augusta Longbottom to let him pick up Neville’s supplies. Apparently Augusta didn’t let the boy out much in order to avoid all the attention he would draw. Hagrid promised Harry they’d see each other again soon, though, and hustled off to his next stop. 

The three of them were currently at Eeylops Owl Emporium waiting for Harry to pick out an owl before they finished up by celebrating at Florean’s, where Remus and Sirius were waiting for them. Usually so decisive and quick to form an opinion, this was the longest either Noah or Jamie could remember him putting hard thought into something. (Then again, he was 11, so that was allowed.) They’d started at Magical Menagerie, where Harry had spent most his time eyeing the various snakes. When they’d realized Harry was likely to go for one of them instead of an owl, as they’d intended, they’d gently pushed him towards Eeylops, saying they should be sure to get a good look around everywhere they could.

Harry had lingered for a while over a large, snowy owl, who’d hooted softly and nipped at him. He’d also spent some time with a young burrowing owl who seemed playful, almost playing a game of hide-and-seek with Harry, who’d laughed and poked a finger in the cage and had to be reminded that wasn’t okay here.

“He’s taking this rather seriously, isn’t he?” the amused clerk commented.

Noah grinned, and Jamie nodded, happy to make some smalltalk as she continued to watch Harry. So far, nothing seemed to have piqued his interest as much as the snakes. Jamie whispered as such to the clerk, trying not to be overheard by Harry who, she and Noah hoped might forget if he stared at the owls for long enough. The clerk coughed to cover up their laughter, then addressed Harry.

“You know, Harry, it can help to talk to them. Just introduce yourself. See which of them speak to you.”

In true, confident 11-year-old fashion, Harry waved her off with a hand. “Owls don’t talk like us.”

Noah pinched the top of his nose with his fingers. The clerk simply smiled. “No, they can’t speak to us like humans speak to each other. But if you take good care of your pet, it can become your familiar. That means forming a bond with it. Your familiar can understand you when no one else does, and you may find that you understand your familiar more than just as a pet. To be able to do that, though, you need to know that you can have good communication. If you say hi to one of these owls, and you don’t feel like it’s listening, then it may not be the pet or familiar for you. But if you feel like it could understand you, that’s a good sign.” The clerk’s eye twinkled.

Harry stared at the clerk, head tilted to the side, deep in thought. He looked over at Jamie, who nodded and smiled encouragingly. Finally, he looked at Noah, who had that serious look on his face that Harry knew meant something was somehow important to his dad. That broke it. Harry smiled and started babbling away to the owls. 

“Hi, owl! Hi, owl! Hi, owl!” he went around waving at several owls. “We have a cat, you know. Dad says owls and cats don’t always get along together. Do any of you feel brave enough to face our cat? I want someone who will be friends with my cat, can you do that?” Harry wandered through the cages, taking the clerk’s words to heart.

Noah looked over at the clerk, raising an eyebrow in question. The clerk winked. “Just wait,” she said. “Any minute now.”

When they looked back, Harry was standing in front of the cage of a gorgeous barred owl without a nameplate. “This one!” he said brightly, turning to them all. Jamie was sure her grin matched the one on Noah’s face. No snake for them today. That was good. To be honest, Jamie was the tiniest bit frightened of snakes. She was pretty sure Noah’s worries were more along the lines of feeding the thing, since snakes weren’t allowed at Hogwarts as pets.

An owl heavier, they finally headed off to Florean’s. All Harry’s supplies, except his wand, which Jamie made room for in her own wand holster, were stuffed in a bottomless bag, which they had Harry carrying across his back. Noah held the owl’s cage, promptly named Owlbert (which Jamie loved and knew Sirius and even Remus would get a kick out of, too), in one hand and Jamie’s hand in the other. Harry walked - nearly skipped - in front of them, leading the way.

Jamie squeezed Noah’s hand. “Calla’s pretty old. Think she’ll survive the shock of us bringing an owl into the house.”

“Don’t even joke. This owl better prepare itself.”

Jamie laughed and felt Noah’s thumb rub over the back of her hand. Noah loved that cat. Jamie wasn’t sure if they’d ever be able to get another cat again if Calla died.

.

“Aww,” Jamie said, leaning her head to rest on Noah’s shoulder as they read Harry’s letter together. “His first crush!”

“Maybe.” Harry’s own description was confused on how he was feeling. “Did we prepare him well enough?” Noah worried.

Jamie laughed. “For what?”

“I don’t know…” Noah lifted a hand to twirl it in the air a few times. “To understand how he’s feeling. I know it was a long time ago, Jamie, but do you remember how confused and lost you felt before you knew bi was a thing? Heck before you knew about demisexuality?”

Jamie immediately quieted. Honestly, she hadn’t remembered. It had been a long time. Were they really that old?

“Coming in!” Sirius bellowed from the fireplace, already inside. Jamie laughed, thankful for her friend breaking the awkward silence.

“In here!” Jamie shouted.

Two sets of footprints announced that Remus was with Sirius a moment before they entered the kitchen. “Wazzat?”

“Letter from Harry,” Noah said, handing it over. Harry loved and trusted his Uncles. They were basically extra parents to him. He knew and expected that all letters home would go to Moony and Padfoot, too - often left them special messages in his letters.

“Aww,” Remus smiled.

“His first crush,” Sirius finished. “How exciting. Third year, though. Does that seem sorta late to any of you?”

Noah shrugged. “Not to me.”

They all stared at the letter. Then Jamie laughed and clapped Noah on the back. “He might take after you, then, No’!”

Noah smiled and looked down, but Jamie saw the worry roiling underneath. She knew they’d spend the rest of the day crafting a letter back to Harry. None of them minded, though. Harry was pretty much the center of all their worlds. And with all the trouble he got into at school, this was a mild problem in comparison. One they could actually help solve.

When they’d finished crafting, they put their heads together and worked on modifying a howler to calmly and lovingly give their messages to Harry. He deserved to at least be able to hear their voices for this, if they couldn’t be there to answer his questions in person.

.

This was worse than the first time. The first time, they were scared for Harry, but they could fight for him. He was theirs to protect and look over. This time, Harry was nearly as old as they had been and facing He-Who-Had-Must-Not-Be-Named’s presence at Hogwarts since first year. He was old enough to make a choice, and he had. Right after they’d all returned from the mess of Bill Weasley and Fleur Delacour’s wedding. Although Ron and Harry were schoolmates and pals, Harry wasn’t a close enough friend of Ron’s to warrant an invite to his brother’s wedding. All Order members had basically become family of Molly and Arthur Weasley’s, though. The attack had come after the ceremony. Neville (who was closer with Ron than Harry), Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Luna had all disappeared as the attack started.

A terrified and ferocious Jamie and Noah had found an ashen-faced Harry sandwiched between Remus and Sirius, wand still held out in defense. They’d rushed to Harry’s side, checking for injuries. Remus quietly told them that Harry had done great, been holding his own before Remus and Sirius made it over to him. When they’d finally gotten him to talk, he’d only whispered, “Ginny”. Turns out, their son had been flirting with the youngest Weasley for the past year, and they’d been secretly toying with the idea of a relationship. Harry had seen it when her group had disapparated (or, more likely, Hermione apparated them all away - genius recognizes genius and the Marauders and Noah continued to be stunned by Harry’s stories of her successes, even secondhand told).

Even though returning to Hogwarts meant going to school under a Death Eater, Harry had stood proudly before the four of them and declared, “I don’t care. I’m going back. Other students won’t have a choice. Me and the others, we have to be there for them.”

Jamie steeled her heart and didn’t let her face react. She was sure Noah’s, Sirius’, and Remus’ were much the same. Proud and steely. Worried. Wishing they hadn’t raised such an independent, compassionate Gryffindor. Noah nodded, but it was Jamie who stood and wrapped Harry in a hug. “You give ‘em hell from the inside. Your dad and uncles and I will give them hell from out here.”

Harry gave a half-laugh, half-sigh. Slowly, Noah, Remus, and Sirius stood to join them. Sirius ruffled Harry’s hair. “Always stand up for yourself, Harry.”

It was Noah’s plea that broke the dam, though. “Come back to us, Harry.” His voice broke as he said it.

The night that they sent Harry back off to Hogwarts, the station full of tight-lipped, crying, gray-faced families, Noah and Jamie laid in bed, limbs completely entangled and periodically crying. They didn’t sleep a wink. They rose to Sirius lying awake on the couch and Remus starting coffee for them all. The house was oddly silent. Noah and Jamie, and likely Remus and Sirius as well, felt more resolved and determined than ever. It was time to finally see the end of this damn war.

.

The Battle of Hogwarts, like all battles, had its downtimes, in which time moved too slowly and things were too clear. During the action periods, everything moved too fast, but at least there was no time to wonder or see who all had died. Jamie and Noah had managed to stick by each other’s side, but they hadn’t seen Harry since the Order initially confronted Headmaster Severus. Sometime after that, Remus and Sirius had been assigned to protect different sides of the castle as them, as well.

When they knew Neville was marching off to the forest to die for them all, they did find Augusta and do what they could to be with her. She’d screamed, a harsh, broken sound, then broken down in tears that she staunchly ignored as she paced back and forth.

It wasn’t until the Battle was over and bodies were being dragged into the Great Hall that Jamie and Noah saw any of their family again. “Merlin, no,” Jamie had whispered, spotting him first, and dashed in between students and families and staff alike. Noah saw what she was headed to a second later and broke into a run after her.

Kingsley Shacklebolt and Minerva McGonagall were carrying an all too familiar body. Minerva caught sight of Jamie and Noah headed toward’s them. Her stony expression fell for an instant, and she said something to Kingsley. They changed course and laid Remus Lupin on the ground.

“No, no, no, no, no,” Jamie was saying as she skidded to a stop, kneeling before Remus’ body. Her hands ran over his face, his neck, his wrist, trying to somehow pass some of her life into him. Noah hovered over his wife, the fear clear on his face. Minerva put a hand on Noah’s shoulder, then Jamie’s, then left them. The tears had come, and Jamie couldn’t stop them. Noah looked frantically around him. Please, please don’t have let them all died.

From across the hall, Noah spotted Sirius’ iconic hair. Almost in slow motion, Sirius turned and made eye contact with Noah. He shook his head, at first unable to move, then walked stiffly towards them, as if forcing himself to come and see who had died. When he was close enough to ID Remus, he roared and fell to his knees where he was, still several feet away. The Hall was a place of grief and mourning for the moment. His roar of heartbreak had hardly been the first and no one bothered looking at him or telling him to shush. Unmoving, unable to join Jamie or Noah over one of his best pals, he looked up to Noah. “Harry,” he mouthed. A question. An order. Noah didn’t know, but he couldn’t look at Remus any longer. Hoping that Jamie would understand his plan, he turned and walked out of the hall. He had to find his child. He had to find Harry.

They all should have helped move and recover bodies, but none of them could. Noah walked past the Weasley’s, bent over the body of one of theirs, past Augusta practically smothering Neville as Luna, smothered by her own father, seemed to be working to get them both a little air. He walked past bodies of children who looked too young to have been allowed to stay and fight. He walked past the bodies of elves, only being grieved by other elves for the moment. He walked past groups of people working to move chunks of stone and make sure no one was underneath.

Noah walked what seemed the whole of Hogwarts, barely taking stock of its immense damage, unable to process all the death he passed. Finally, he stopped and turned to the portraits. Most in this hall were empty - many characters were running around the castle pointing out where they thought they’d seen bodies get buried, while others were simply visiting friends, mourning just the same as everyone else. An old wizard with a long, gray beard and a blue hat and a young woman in a pale, yellow dress were present, though.

“My son,” he tried, “my son, Harry Potter. Do you know him? Have you seen him?” The woman sadly shook her head no. Noah could no longer take it. He made his way back to the Great Hall, hoping Harry, still alive, would have made his way back there by now.

Noah passed Minerva on his way back into the Hall. She grabbed his arm. “Your son needs you,” she said, pointing him roughly outside the castle’s entrance. Noah didn’t bother to ask for details, simply rushed out of castle, desperate to see Harry alive.

There he was. Brown skin, black hair, taller than Noah by a couple inches now, breathing hard and staring up at the sky. Noah didn’t break stride. “Harry!” he called. Harry, face ashy and dirty and covered in blood and all tear-streaked, turned towards him. “Harry,” he said, enveloping his child in his arms. Alive. Harry was alive. Noah breathed in his scent, one head firmly on his back and the other over the back of his head as Harry fiercely returned his hug, bent down to fold into his dad.

“Uncle Moony is dead,” Harry said, voice muffled.

“I know, little fawn,” Noah said, “I know.” 

When Harry was able to straighten again, Noah asked if he’d been seen by his mom or Sirius. When he said no, Noah managed to convince him to come inside. Bringing his son to the body of his dead uncle felt like torture, but Jamie and Sirius needed to know Harry was alive, and Harry needed to hug them just as much as he’d needed to hug Noah.

.

“Any idea what Harry’s news is?” Sirius asked, in lieu of saying hello.

Noah shook his head. “Come on in, Sirius,” he teased. Harry was now 23. At this age, calling a meeting to talk to his parents couldn’t be that many things. Maybe he was sick with a serious illness or was announcing a surprise engagement to a secret partner or even was here to tell Jamie and Noah and Sirius they were too old to be living by themselves anymore. Though only 44, Noah felt much older than that. Had ever since the end of the war five years ago. Political and social recovery and improvement was a long, slow road.

“I’m betting he lost his temper, lost his job, and wants to move back in with us!” Jamie yelled from the living room.

“Jamie!” Noah admonished. 

Sirius laughed and stepped inside. “Yeah, have some faith in your kid, Leaps! I bet it’s a promotion.”

Noah rolled his eyes as he followed Sirius into the living room. Sirius and Jamie had long since stopped hiding their betting over Harry from Noah. “You’re just saying that because Jamie’s had to do with Harry’s job.”

Sirius shrugged. “So what do you think, then, if you’re so smart?”

Noah shrugged back. “I think Harry has a right to reveal what he wants to talk about himself.”

“No fun,” Jamie teased, sticking her tongue out.

“What’s no fun?” Harry’s head asked, appearing in the fireplace.

“You!” Jamie teased again. “Get in here, already.”

Harry’s laughter was cut short as his head pulled away and he appeared in a flash of green a moment later.

“Ten galleons,” Sirius whispered to Jamie, and they shook hands.

Harry rolled his bright green eyes, looking startlingly like Noah in that moment.

“So what’s the news, kiddo?” Jamie asked. Noah joined her and Sirius on the couch, giving Harry the stage.

He took a deep breath. “Well, mum, dad. I’m… like you. I finally figured out why I’ve felt… different all these years. I’m agender. I don’t really identify with any gender. I feel more like I… don’t have one. I’m also grayromantic. My romantic attraction is both really low and fluctuates. And… I think I might also be bi, but I’m not really positive yet.”

“Oh, Harry!” Jamie jumped up to hug him, planting a big kiss on his cheek as well.

“That’s not quite all. I, well, I kinda like being called your son, and I like the name Harry, but I want to start using they, them pronouns instead of he, him.”

“Of course, Harry!” Noah beamed, coming in to hug Jamie and Harry together.

“Proud of you, squirt,” Sirius said, coming in to hug Noah, Jamie, and Harry all together. “You know, we all know how hard coming out can be.”

“And how hard figuring out how you feel is,” Noah added.

“You know you’re my favorite kid, yeah?” Jamie asked.

Harry laughed, squirming out of the group hug. “Yeah, yeah,” they said. “So did you make lunch? I’m starving?”

Noah laughed as Jamie playfully shook their shoulder. “That’s my son!” she said. “Knows what’s most important. Of course we made lunch.”

Sirius’ stomach growled.

“Sometimes I think you all only show up here for the food,” Noah sniffed. Sirius grinned and threw an arm over his shoulder.

“Nah, the food’s just a bonus. I enjoy the company most of all.”

“Me too,” Harry said as Jamie copied Sirius and threw her arm over Harry’s shoulder.

“Well, I am just here for the food,” she said. “I can’t believe it took you two decades to figure it out.”

They all laughed. Jamie and Noah shared cooking duties, of course. Noah stuck an arm out behind him. Jamie and Harry both grabbed it and gave it a good squeeze.

“Thanks for being so chill about me being agender,” Harry said once they’d all sat down with full plates, “and grayro and possibly bi. Seamus and Dean finally got engaged and told their families. Dean’s family took it pretty well, if a bit stiffly, but I guess there was some name calling in the Finnigan household.”

Sirius, who was sitting closest to Harry, reached over to put a supportive hand on their shoulder. “We’d never treat you like that, our little fawn all grown up.”

“Never,” Noah and Jamie echoed. And they all meant it.

~Hufflepuff Mod