#remember when IG used to give me notifs yeah me neither

[kindahoping4forever]

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[babluvsu]

Eren doesn’t know: Chapter 2 (Jean x Reader x Eren)

Dating Eren is hard, especially when he’s in a band that’s constantly away. While your boyfriend is gone, your friend Jean decides to help out with your loneliness. Problem is, neither of you can stop.

Warnings: Cheating (lots of it), smut (also lots of that, like, a lot), angst, one-sided love, language

Written by me an my bestfriend @msack3rman 😌 We thought of this late night on a drive and it stuck

1.4k word count

Chapter 1, ((Chapter 2)), Chapter 3, Chapter 4

"Baby, what if we went and got dressed and went out to lunch, then walked around the park?" You turned to him watching as his normally dumb grin appeared on his face. "You're still asking me on dates, after 3 years?" You smiled softly and giggled.

"Of course I am, you're just too hot not to." His face tinted in the slightest shade of pink and you felt your heart flutter. It almost felt like the first time you went on a date with Eren. Nostalgia had you feeling like mush and you couldn't help yourself as you leaned over and kissed him.

Eren kissed back with the same gentleness you were using. He felt loved and cared for and he had already forgotten. Just like he wanted to. Moments like these make him feel like the flame between the both of you was still ablaze. "C'mon sunshine boy, let's go."

Eren's heart was beating so fast in his chest he could feel it in his ears. You two raced to the door of the house, stumbling inside and laughing at one another. You weren't always competitive. But Eren brings out that side of you. He brings out all the best in you and you love him dearly for it. Your chest ached terribly as you remembered you wouldn't be able to change around Eren or shower with him tonight.

Eren had chased you to your shared bedroom pinning you under him. You felt giddy as he kissed along your neck and marked the skin there. Thank god Jean didn't bite you there. You felt your heart start to race when he pushed his hands under your shirt and dragged his nails across your sides. In a panic you gave an excuse to him, "I'm on my period, we can't do anything." There was a pout on your face and Eren pulled back with a matching expression.

Then he smiled and shrugged it off. "That's fine, I can spend my time with you without needing to have sex." Eren was celebrating inside, he wanted so desperately to text Mikasa and say, "I told you so." Eren knew you hated having sex on your period and your periods last for a while.

"You can shower first then, I'll decide where to go for food." He sat up sitting between your legs on the bed as he scrolled through his phone. You rolled over and dropped off of the bed, getting a nice outfit for the outdoors before going to the bathroom.

Eren shut the car off after parking and the two of you got out, making your way to the trail that went around the park. It had taken much longer to get out of the house to eat because Eren's manager had called him. The man kept your boyfriend on the phone for over 20 minutes. You grew annoyed quickly. Even in his down time, when it was supposed to be you and Eren it ended up being you Eren and anyone else who wanted to join.

He quickly made it up to you, even though he shouldn't have had to in the first place. His manager called him, he didn't call his manager. You shouldn't have gotten so upset because it wasn't his fault. But you couldn't help it. On the bright side, you're now walking with him at sunset. Eren's eyes shined so brightly in pure sunlight.

His skin was radiant and god he's just so handsome. He's so breathtaking, but you forget so easily when you're apart for so long. The low quality video calls honestly make you feel worse but hearing his voice as you fall asleep makes up for it. Eren's hand waved back and forth in front of your face, "You've been staring at me for a whole minute, are you gonna blink yet?"

You chuckled and grabbed his hand holding it as you walked with him. "I just love you a lot Eren. Don't bully me for appreciating you." He smiled and squeezed your hand as you looked away blushing. He didn't mean to fluster you, but he doesn't feel bad, your reddened face looked gorgeous under the last few rays of sunshine in the sky.

You had already walked around the entire park 2 times, talking about everything and nothing. Your phone went off for the 20th time since your date started and you were starting to get really annoyed. Another intruder on your quality time with Eren. You pulled your phone out and quickly glanced at the notifications, as soon as you noticed Jean's name you frowned and shut your phone off.

Eren glanced at you and let out a sigh. "Angel?" You pocketed your phone again and turned to give him your full attention. "Would you make me choose between us and my band?" Your frown deepened.

Today, you can't give him the answer you usually do. You knew you'd be as patient as you could, but you couldn't handle this question tonight. "Eren, I don't want to answer that.. I feel like I have to choose between my happiness and yours."

"I love you, but I also love my family. You both mean the world to me, I'd feel lost without both of you." You squeezed his hand and took a deep breath. "I feel lost every time I wake up and you've left to go on tour without saying goodbye or when Armin will answer your phone and let me know that you've exhausted yourself until 5 in the morning every day for the past week while you're out cold."

You weren't angry, you were sad and you were tired. "I'm sorry. I don't want you to think of it like that." Eren's voice was soft and sweet. His heart felt like it had stopped and in his mind that flame between you two was starting to dim again. He tugged on your intertwined hands and it brought you to his side. You leaned against one another as you made your way back to the car.

This date was your idea and the whole point was to cheer Eren up and finally spend time with him. Now you just feel like crying because the majority of the date was focused around other people and it hurt that you had to choose what to sacrifice so Eren didn't sacrifice anything.

Moments like these make you remember why Jean is in your life the way he is now. You were doing something for you and you were being selfish. However, being selfish still feels shitty and suddenly you feel sick on the car ride back home.

After getting home, you left Eren’s side to go to the bathroom, pulling out your phone to look at the now 20 notifications from Jean. You rolled your eyes, he really couldn’t take a hint sometimes.

Hey

Are you up?

Do you wanna do smth today?

If you want we can go to lunch

I’ll pay

Ok ig not

Sorry for bothering you

Are you ignoring me?

Did I do smth? If so i’m sorry

Pls talk to me if smth is wrong

As you read through his messages, guilt began to build up in your throat. I mean, how hard could it have been to send a simple “Sorry, I’m busy” You knew you shouldn’t feel like this. You really did nothing wrong. All you wanted to do was spend some time with your boyfriend, who you rarely even saw anymore, and you could hardly do that today with all of the interruptions. You just wanted to be alone. No distractions, no interruptions. For just a moment to be rid of all guilt and shame. But, the knocking on the door brought you back, making you realize that it wasn’t possible.

“Yeah?” You call out through the door, not wanting to face Eren just yet. You could hear a sigh from the other side.

“I’m sorry for asking that earlier,” he sounded sincere and a little hurt, “I just love you and my band so much and I don’t want to ever have to choose between you two.” His voice was soft and you could feel a lump begin to form in your throat. “I know I’m gone a lot and I’m so sorry for that. I love you and don’t ever wanna lose you to something like this. Please just come out and talk to me.”

Letting out a shaky breath, you slowly open the door and when you see Eren and how upset he looks, you couldn’t stop the tears from falling. You wrap your arms around his middle, burying your face in his chest as you cried into his shirt. A hand came up to rest against the back of your head while the other ran across your back in soothing circles. “Shhh, it’s okay Angel, I’m here.” His voice was barely above a whisper and he rested his chin on top of your head. “I’ll always be here.”

[kzzzo]

Until You’re Mine | Kuroo Tetsurou

Genre: fluff ig??

Pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.5K+

Warning(s): swearing lol

Prompt:  “Right now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge.” “Can I pick?” from here

Note: i honestly don’t know if this fic makes sense but i wanted to try anyway. give me some comments on how i can improve! or maybe leave requests so i can practice? i don’t think i’m good, though. anyways, i hope you enjoy!

It was probably a few months ago when you first met Kuroo. Your friend had forced you to cut classes and watch your school’s boy’s volleyball club to ‘support’ them during their practice match against Nekoma. That was obviously a lie. You both know that neither of you knew shit about volleyball. Well, maybe a few but still not enough to get you to cut classes. Her promise of treating you your favourite food convinced you though.

 So there you were, at the gym’s second floor pretending to be interested in the game occurring before you. It didn’t help that your eyesight was half shit so really you can only mostly see black and white blurs playing against red ones.

 On the times where you could focus your sight, though, you were absolutely amazed at how they hit the ball so hard, as if it would rip someone’s arm off if they ever touched it. However that didn’t happen (disappointingly) when two half-blurs held out their arms to stop the strong ass 'spike’. See, you know at least that much.

 You were curious what the blocker looked like so you shifted your position to take a closer look. You finally focused your sight on him and fuck was he hot. With black messy hair, smug grin and firm looking muscles. You were feeling things, those heart fluttering, holy shit things. 'But he looks like a fuckboy. He probably has girls left and right. Therefore, no thanks.’

 "Bokuto’s pretty good at this, huh.“ Your friend muttered.

 "Huh? Bokuto’s here?” You looked over at the spiker and surely enough, you saw your classmate frowning at the hot blocker.

 "The fuck kinda rock have you been living in? He’s pretty well-known you know.“ You shrugged at her statement and continued watching.

 The match finishes with your team’s win and Bokuto’s loud "Hey, hey, hey!” along with the rest of the team’s cheers. Just as you and your friend stood up to leave, you heard your names being called.

 "Oi, (Y/N) and (F/N)! What are you doing here? We have classes at this time!“ The loud bastard said.

 "Keep it down, you’re gonna get us caught, you owl!” You shouted back before approaching your school’s team. “You better shut up about this.”

 "Oya? Who’s this Bokuto?“ You turned to see who was talking only to see none other than the black haired hottie from Nekoma. "Cutting classes eh? Rebellious, I like that.”

 "Ah, these are my classmates (Y/F/N) and (F/F/N).“

 "Pleasure to meet you.” He held out his hand to you after slightly bowing to your friend, making her scoff, feeling quite offended. “Kuroo Tetsurou.”

 You pondered whether you should accept his handshake, honestly having your decision lean more towards rejecting it yet you didn’t want to seem rude. You held his hand and shook it. They were calloused, most likely from playing volleyball, and it made him seem hotter to you for some reason.

 "Nice to meet you, too.“

 "Say, your name sounds pretty. I think it will look nice in my contacts as well. So, may I have your number?” Fuck. That was smooth. Too smooth.

 You were about half an inch close to giving him your number but remembering your thoughts earlier, you held back. Also, you lowkey wanted to see how he’d handle a rejection and boy were you surprised.

 "Sorry. I don’t really feel like giving my number to you, Kuroo-san. I don’t think you’re my type.“ You teased. Expecting him to be dejected or annoyed, you were surprised at how he just smiled at you with amusement.

 "Is that so? Too bad. Next time, then.” He gave you a smile and a wave, which you both returned on the way out of the gym. Upon exiting, your friend slung an arm around your shoulders and pulled you to her.

 "You’re such a liar. You and I both know he’s a hundred and twenty percent your type.“

 "True.”

 "So why’d you reject him?“

 You stopped and pretended to think. "I dunno. To play with him or something. Test him? Not really sure yet.”

 And that was where it all started. Of course he wouldn’t just let a cute girl like you walk away like that, leaving him empty handed. He pestered Bokuto for your number and very easily acquired it.

 Ever since then Kuroo had been pestering you with texts. From 'good morning’ texts to 'goodnight, dream about me’ texts. You planned on ignoring him but how could you when he’s being unexpectedly adorable and funny? He even went as far as pestering their coach to arrange more practice matches with Fukurodani just so he could see you. He also offered to pay Bokuto with beef to get you to come watch his official matches which he couldn’t do because, as stated earlier, you don’t know shit about volleyball.

 Eventually your feelings grew deeper for the “Rooster Head,” as your friend liked to call him, seeing his efforts towards you. 'Definitely not a fuckboy,’ you thought. The sound of your phone’s notification tone distracted you.

 Sender: Rooster Head

Subject: game @ friday 1pm

 come watch me?

 You debated whether you should go, seeing as you do have classes at the time. Nah, who are you kidding? You have zero problems cutting classes. However, you did want it to be a surprise so you decided to lie.

 Sender: My (Y/N)

Subject: idk

 i have classes

 Kuroo sighed. He’s not getting any younger. For every match, he’s afraid if it will be his last seeing as he’s a third year. He might not get to show off to you during a game at this point. Well, what can he do. So he went on with practice.

 Friday came around quickly and you didn’t even bother going to school. Your initial plan had been to attend the morning classes at least then sneak out but what the hell, right? Skipping school entirely is easier, except for the part where your friend has been cursing you out over the phone for at least ten minutes. She did stop when you said you were going to Kuroo’s game.

 She went from 'bitch what the fuck how could you leave me alone’ to 'yes, girl, go get your mans. i’ll take notes for you. goodluck!’

 You prepared yourself, working on making yourself look good™️ to calming your erratically beating heart.

 It was 12:56 p.m. and Kuroo hadn’t stopped glancing at the bleachers from time to time. Holding onto your 'idk’ and hoping you would show up last minute. This went on until during warm-ups and his team couldn’t help but notice.

 "Oi, Kuroo. You seem distracted.“ Yaku started. "The match is about to start so pull yourself together.”

 Kuroo sighed. Yaku was right. He had to pull himself together for the match. The players were told to line up and bow to their opponents. After that, they stood at their positions in the court.

 'One last time,’ he thought. 'Let me just look one last time.’

 He raised his head and scanned the bleachers and to his surprise, there you were. His eyes widened but then he thought he might be hallucinating.

 You saw Kuroo amongst the players. This time you made sure to wear your contacts so you could at least see him play. The contacts proved to be helpful as you even saw how his eyes widened upon seeing you. You smiled at him and waved. Then you put your hands towards your mouth as a way to increase your voice’s volume.

 "Go, Kuroo! Knock 'em dead!“ You yelled which made you regret it as it sounded a bit too violent.

 The way Kuroo’s heart warmed up from hearing you cheer for him was unbelievable. He just wanted to run to you and give you a tight hug but his thoughts were interrupted when he heard the whistle. Now knowing you’re there watching him and cheering for him, it gave him strength to just win this thing then run to you and hug you. Maybe even kiss you.

 You couldn’t take your eyes off of Kuroo as he played. He was hot. You knew that, from the moment you laid eyes on him during that practice match. But damn, he was next level hot when he’s extra serious during an official match.

 Soon enough the match ends with Nekoma’s victory. Not surprising, seeing as they are a powerhouse school and that the captain had inspiration amongst the bleachers. After bowing to their opponents and supporters, you head down to the court (you weren’t really sure if that was allowed but you did it anyway). Kuroo saw you and also walked towards you.

 "Hey, congratulations on the win. You looked pretty cool out there.” You said as you try to fix his (sweaty) fringe.

 "Yeah, I know. It’s me, what do you expect.“ Kuroo said as he let you do as you please. "So, you ended up falling for my charms, huh.”

 You stopped what you were doing and scoffed upon seeing his smirk.

 “Right now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge.” Kuroo was taken aback but he masked it with his smirk as usual.

 "Can I pick?” He said, slightly leaning down to your hight. You rolled your eyes and laughed softly.

 "Sure, go ahead.“

[hookedontaronfics]

First Contact series - Part 9

Title: First Contact - Part 9 Read the previous installments here: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 Rating: M Pairing: Taron x OC Warnings: Cursing, smut, and some mentions of violence [trigger warning] A/N: I don’t want to give away too much so you’ll just have to read it for yourself. Some sweet bits, some sexy bits and possibly a cliffhanger! So good luck, and enjoy! x

“Morning, love.”

Those two simple words held so much promise in them as I cracked my eyes open to see Taron’s sweet face smiling back at me. I yawned slightly and stretched out, checking in with my own body and realizing I wasn’t really all that sore from last night’s escapade. But oh, I still felt deliriously happy and deliciously satiated.

“S’good morning,” I mumbled back sleepily, getting an amused chuckle from Taron. I had proven very quickly during this vacation that I wasn’t a morning person. To be fair, neither was Taron.

“We should maybe get up and go enjoy our last day here, love,” he said cutely, nuzzling his face against my neck and kissing my skin there, his hand tracing a slow line over the strip of skin exposed at my waist, as my sleep shirt had ridden up a bit. Good God, this man was going to be the death of me, I thought, his touch igniting something deep inside.

“I think I’d be okay if you just wanted to stay in bed all day,” I laughed, a bit breathlessly.

“Much as I agree with that,” he said, finally rolling over and getting off the bed, “I really think we should try and see something else,” he smirked. I pouted slightly at him and he just laughed as he wandered off to the bathroom, and I couldn’t help but admire his bare torso. I eventually crawled out of bed and pulled on some clothes, grabbing my phone and flipping through my notifications, smiling over all the sweet comments that had been pouring in over the few pictures Taron and I had chosen to share on our social media profiles. It hadn’t been a secret exactly, but I think we were finally “out” as a couple to the world now. This trip had made it stunningly clear that Taron wanted me in his life.

“What’re you smiling on about?” he grinned as he returned, catching me probably looking a bit dreamy over that fact.

“Us,” I grinned. “Everyone’s been so kind about me.”

“Why would they not? You make me incredibly happy, and you’re stunningly gorgeous,” he said, leaning over and stealing a kiss before going to grab clothes himself.

“Well, Mr. Egerton, I did happen to take you off the market,” I smirked over at him, and he just snorted at that.

“What am I, a beef steak?” he laughed, shaking his head.

“A very handsome beef steak, yep!” I said brightly, unable to keep a straight face as we both lost our shit over that. I actually had to wipe tears out of my eyes at that one; maybe it wasn’t so funny to anyone else, but we were losing it.

“So anyway, what’s the game plan for today? Other than once again sweeping me off my feet?” I grinned.

“We should get breakfast, first of all,” he said.

“Right, always a foodie,” I giggled lightly.

“Then I think we should spend some of our day on Lokrum,” he grinned. “I’ve heard lovely things about the Botanical Garden there. We can just take our time together. I don’t want this day to go too fast.”

“Me either,” I agreed softly at that.

We grabbed a bite from the hotel’s breakfast and while we ate I decided to catch back up with Jules and Mary. We’d texted a few times briefly of course, but I had wanted to spend most of my time actually enjoying my trip and Taron. Still, I figured they probably deserved an update now.

<So loves, my last full day in Dubrovnik. I’m kinda sad to be seeing it end, it’s been the best trip of my life!> I sent in a group text.

<Julesy: Oh my god, about time you let us know you were still alive! We were beginning to worry!>

<Mareee!: Don’t mind her, we knew you were having fun as you should be!>

<It’s been amazing. The food, and the beaches here, and just, everything is so lush and historic and even the pace is slower so you can relax and it’s quite nice. But you’ve seen my pictures on IG! Come on now!>

<Mareee!: It looks SO nice, and you and Taron are very cute together. I’m glad you decided to post some pics of you together!>

<Yeah, we had to discuss it a bit, but … We decided it was time.>

<Julesy: Now the one thing Mary and I should know, though, is this: Are you returning as an Egerton virgin or no?>

<Oh. My. Freaking. God. ….. NOPE!> I couldn’t help giggling like an idiot over what I had sent and Taron raised an eyebrow at me, but I just shook my head. “Texting the girls, you know,” I smirked, and he only went ahhhh as if he understood. My friends’ responses chimed in quick succession.

<Julesy: That’s my girl!>

<Mareee!: What was it like, you have to tell us!!>

<Oh my gosh it was everything. It was truly everything. But I can’t say more right now, I’m sitting across from T at this moment and my face is probably beet red!>

<Mareee!: Ohhhh, well we’re very very happy for you!>

<Julesy: Yep, now we don’t have to worry about you so much.>

<Thanks, I think? I luv ya, I luv ya both. But must dash. Talk more later, we’re going to the island!>

I stashed my phone away and quickly finished my food before we were off to catch the ferry over to Lokrum. I was excited to just have a quiet easy day with Taron. The Botanical Gardens were every bit as gorgeous as they had been made to seem; we walked hand-in-hand under the cypress and olive and palm trees and took far too many pictures of the peacocks that roamed freely. It was surprisingly not busy, which was nice. There were honestly times we could have felt it was our own private island.

We happened upon a super pretty spot and chose to take a selfie together with the stunning background behind us. We managed (after some retakes. Taron needs some selfie lessons…) to take a really nice one where we both actually looked pretty (thank goodness) but then Taron decided to kiss me on the cheek and I had my eyes scrunched closed and that’s the photo he chose to post on Instagram with “This woman has my heart” as the caption.

“Oh gosh, T, this is a bit full on, isn’t?” I asked, turning to him after checking the post myself since he’d tagged me.

“Just the truth,” he said nonchalantly, like he didn’t realize how difficult this all was to process that he really felt that way about me.

“It’s not too soon and sudden to claim that? We’ve only known each other what, three months or something? A handful of encounters and a couple dates and then spending a month apart?” I asked, a bit skeptical.

“To claim what? That I love you? Because I do. That’s not a difficult thing to do, Jess,” he said sweetly, reaching over to caress my face gently. “Feelings don’t have to exist on a timeline. And maybe I’m quick to arrive at mine but I know what I have in front of me.”

I’m pretty sure my brain flatlined at that moment. The L-word, he’d actually said it, and I had no idea what I was supposed to say back. He was watching me expectantly, I think, but when I didn’t - couldn’t - figure out how to respond he sighed slightly. “It’s okay, I know what you’ve been through. You don’t have to say anything back. I just needed you to know how I felt,” he said,  tugging on my hand to keep us walking. 

I tried to ignore the mixture of disappointment and understanding on his face, but it dug at me as we walked in silence. Why was it so hard to just blurt it out myself? I thought. I wasn’t afraid of Taron, no. But moving into something closer, and more intimate, more vulnerable, I didn’t feel remotely ready for. There was a deeper responsibility for and reliance on emotion that I wasn’t sure I could handle giving to Taron just yet.

We ate at the little cafe on the island and found one of the beaches to sit at under some shade from the trees. I had nestled between Taron’s legs, leaning back against him and it was rather comfortable as he had his arms wrapped around me sweetly. We were just watching the waves break over the shoreline, whiling away the time and trying to ignore the fact that this trip would soon be over.

“This has just been … the best day I’ve ever had,” I sighed softly. “It’s felt rather magical to be away from everything else and to just be us here.”

“I would agree. I’ve loved every minute of this, but I think I’m quite ready to get back to the hotel and relax out of this hot sun for a bit.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I said, as we both scrambled to our feet, wiping sand off as much as possible. We took the ferry back across and another taxi to our hotel, and I realized this was truly my last evening here. It made me a little sad, the feeling that the reality of going back to work and London and normal life was going to change how things felt between us. I knew it was an irrational fear, but it was bothering me.

I’m not sure what Taron was up to at the moment but I decided to make sure some of my clothes that had gotten scattered about the room were packed back in my suitcase. I smoothed my fingers over the lacy lingerie and couldn’t help but smile as I remembered last night.

“Hey, T!” I called out.

“Mmm, yeah?” his voice asked from the bathroom. The door was open so I wandered in, leaning against the door frame. He was leaning over the jacuzzi tub we hadn’t even used and I couldn’t tell what he was doing.

“Are you hungry yet?” I asked him, folding my arms.

“Yeah, but not for food,” he smirked lightly, gesturing to the tub and raising his eyebrow at me with a question in his eyes.

I pointed at myself, and then Taron, and then the tub, and he just smirked at me and nodded.

“Come here, babe,” he said gruffly, holding his hand out to me. I smiled almost shyly at that and stepped over to him, letting him pull me into him. He kissed me slow and sensually at first, probably aware that I needed a little time to get worked up, but just being near him and the thought that he wanted more of me was doing a pretty good job of it. His fingers found their way under my shirt, grazing over my skin and making me moan softly against his lips. He broke our kiss only to continue trailing kisses along my jawline and then down to my neck, nipping the spot that made me moan the most with his teeth, before then stepping away from me completely to turn the water on, adjusting the temperature until he was satisfied with it and leaving me just panting for more.

Knowing he was up for trying different things was an exciting prospect. I pulled my own shirt off and dropped it to the ground, and when he turned back around I knew right where his gaze landed. “All for me?” he asked, not needing an answer as I took his hands and placed them over my breasts. And damn did he make quick work of me that way after peeling off my bra and tossing it god knows where. The way his touch could send shivers down my spine would never cease to amaze me. 

As the water ran we quickly rid ourselves of the rest of our clothes and we took a moment just to take each other in; standing around naked in front of people wasn’t exactly something I was comfortable doing, but under Taron’s gaze it didn’t seem to matter. There was no shame with him because he worshipped my body, scars and rolls and lumps and all. I hadn’t had a chance to really truly see him yet, either, and I tried to memorize every inch of his body and the way it took my breath away.

“You’re fucking beautiful, you know that?” he said softly, making me bite my lip shyly, my hair falling slightly across my face. “I wish you saw yourself through my eyes.”

“I could say the same to you,” I replied gently as he stepped closer to me and brushed my hair out of my face so carefully, so intimately, it made me want to cry. But then he kissed me, and I forgot about wanting to cry, and slowly Taron walked me backward to the tub. He slipped under the water easily enough, sighing contentedly as the warm water eased his muscles, but I perched on the edge for a moment, unsure.

“Coming in, love?” he asked, giving me half a smirk, nothing but hunger in his eyes.

“We can’t really use a condom in the water, not safely at least,” I said, squeezing my eyes shut for a second.

“You’re on the pill, no?” he asked, sitting up and placing a hand on my knee.

“Of course, but that’s not like, 100 percent, you know,” I stammered slightly.

“Hey, Jess, look at me,” he said seriously, so I cracked my eyes open. “Whatever the outcome, we’ll handle it together, okay? I’m sure we’ll be completely fine, it’s not like I’ve got tons of children running about, at least that I know of. But if you can’t trust the pill, I want you to at least trust me. Can you do that?” he asked, pleading with me. I took a shaky breath and nodded before letting myself slip into the water as well. He was right, the jets and the warmth of the water felt good after having walked around a lot of the day.

“I still want you,” I whispered. “I’m just stupidly anxious about it. Make me forget that,” I said, crawling over his lap and facing him.

“I can do that,” he growled slightly, running his fingers along my waist under the water. He pulled my face to his again, kissing me hungrily now, his need for me apparent. I let myself get lost to what he was doing to me; I didn’t understand how he seemed to already know so much about my body and what it was capable of feeling, but I couldn’t hold onto those thoughts. They scattered in the heat of the moment as I settled myself over him, joining our bodies, a groan rumbling through his chest that set me on edge immediately. I’d never had sex with someone bare and to know that, and to feel that, we were that much closer to each other set every nerve-ending in my body on fire. I was consumed by the lust I felt for this man, feeling a depth of pleasure I had never known could be mine.

We found a rhythm that worked for us, the water sloshing over the sides a bit as we drove each other higher and higher. I felt his fingers slip between my legs, helping me along and soon I was crashing around him, my orgasm rippling through me just before I could feel him spilling into me. I felt completely taken; I was his, and I didn’t know how I could belong to anyone else.

I didn’t even realize I was crying until Taron was trying to wipe the tears away, but his hands were wet too so it wasn’t helping that much. “Shhh, it’s okay, I promise,” he spoke, seeming to understand my emotions more than I did as he just held me to him, my chest pressed against his, our bodies still connected, the jets gently pummeling our skin. I laid my head against his shoulder, hiding my face against his neck as his fingers slowly danced across my back, soothing me a bit. I wanted to be ashamed but couldn’t be; Taron seemed used to sharing this level of intimacy but he also seemed to understand that I just wasn’t.

“I’m so sorry, I promise I won’t always be a mess like this,” I said once I had managed to calm down.

“I’m not the one to apologize to, love,” he said gently. “It’s okay to feel things and to feel them deeply. I think I can handle that, yeah?” he grinned. “I rather enjoy making you feel this much.”

“You’re such a saint, T,” I laughed. “Anyone would be lucky to have you.”

“Well then I suppose you should consider yourself very, very lucky indeed,” he sighed happily. “But you have no idea what you do for me too.”

“I feel like I haven’t done anything. It’s always been you doing things for me,” I said softly.

“I don’t want to hear you say such things about yourself. You’re amazing, and you make me happy, and that’s always enough for me. I don’t need things, I don’t need someone to take care of me. I just want someone who’s face lights up when they see me, who genuinely enjoys talking to me, who makes me laugh at every turn, who wants to go on adventures with me, and who is willing despite her hardships to trust me. And that’s you,” he replied.

“You are too good to me,” I sighed, his words striking something deep and vulnerable in my heart and reverberating there.

“I hardly think I’m even remotely good enough for you, but you seem to want to be with me,” he replied, making my eyes bulge a little. Taron, not good enough? He had to be kidding. “I just don’t think you’ve ever been treated well or how you deserve to be. I know I can’t fix that, but I’m going to try and make a difference, if you’ll let me.”

“Anything for you, Taron,” I smiled at him. “Now should we get out of this water before we get all pruney?” I grinned, stealing a sweet kiss that made my chest ache. I could probably kiss him all day and still never get enough.

“Dinner sounds like a perfect way to end this day, now that you’ve helped me work up my appetite,” he smirked at me lightly.

“You’re so naughty,” I laughed, finally managing to disentangle myself from him and wrapping a fluffy towel around myself after climbing out of the tub. We quickly got ourselves ready for dinner, choosing to have our last meal at the conventionally named but absolutely romantic Dubrovnik Restaurant. The rooftop eatery was open air during good weather, and so I’d donned a warm cardigan over my dress, and Taron had pulled on a blazer over his button-down and jeans. We got seated in the white plush chairs and the entire place was softly lit with candles and lamps turned low. I truly enjoyed the atmosphere of it, and the food, oh the food. It was the best I’d had there in Dubrovnik, and I wished I could just keep eating it for forever; almost as much as I wished I could just stay in this paradise with Taron forever.

But you can only appreciate the very best things in life by them coming to an end, and so we returned to London the next day, ready to figure out how to continue blending our normal everyday lives together. My flatmates were of course absolutely thrilled to have me back, peppering me with so many questions it made my head spin. I did my best to give them just enough answers to keep their curiosity at bay, while keeping some of the more private things with Taron just to myself.

I threw myself head-first back into work over the next few weeks, feeling like I needed to make up for the past month where my productivity had been seriously lacking. Taron and I found a way to balance out seeing each other, going on some fun dates, some super romantic ones, and oh yeah, having lots of sex. I was now officially addicted to him, and it really was all his fault in the best possible sense of the word. I’d gained some kind of confidence in what we had and was doing my best to work through my lingering issues. I still hadn’t told him I loved him, but every day he seemed to chip away more and more at the barriers I’d built around it. Bless his soul, he was eternally patient, I’d give him that. So my initial fears about reality taking anything away from us were unfounded; our relationship somehow just kept getting better. And I finally felt like I was really home in London; I had an amazing job I actually liked, lovely flatmates and friends I enjoyed spending time with, and the sweetest boyfriend a girl could luck into having.

So I was feeling pretty damn great about my life one balmy, late-summer day as I was striding toward my office, coffee cup in hand and laptop bag over my shoulder. I managed to accidentally brush past a guy who had just stepped out of a coffee shop, and I turned to apologize but before the words could escape my mouth I froze.

His build was thinner, his jawline sharper, and his face somehow more handsome than I remembered, but I’d recognize that tousled brown hair and those deep-set brown eyes anywhere.

Kevin. My mind went absolutely blank as I clutched my laptop bag and purse to me.

I nearly thought I was having a stroke at first, that he was just a figment of my imagination. But there he was, somehow, incomprehensibly, standing on the sidewalk in London before me.

“Jessica! It’s really you!” he said brightly. “Imagine my good fortune. I thought I’d have to spend more time trying to track you down and here you run right into me.” His voice sent chills down my spine and sent my stomach plummeting to my feet.

“How the hell are you here?” I asked, rooted to the spot. Other people were walking past us but I felt like I was suddenly in an alternate universe. “And why?”

“Relax, Jess. Things have changed. I’ve changed. I wanted to apologize to you,” he said, gesturing for me to move out of the way as a group of school kids giggled their way past. We ended up stepping closer to an alley between the coffee shop and another brick building beside it, and I was already looking for a way to leave.

“There’s nothing you can say to me to apologize,” I said coldly. “You don’t deserve any of my time,” I practically hissed.

“I know. I’m not asking for forgiveness. I just needed to see you again. To make sure you were okay,” he said, taking a step closer to me as I took a step back.

“I am just fine, no thanks to you,” I said with narrowed eyes. “You can’t just sweep back into my life thinking that things will just go back to how they used to be. I’m not your toy to play with and toss away and abuse any more, Kevin,” I said, taking several more steps away from him, until my back hit the brick wall of the building behind me.

I should have ran then. I should have turned around and started walking and never looked back. There would always be too many should haves in my life with Kevin.

Within seconds he had crossed the space between us and I flinched when he reached out to me, but his touch was gentle as he took my chin in his hand. “I never meant to hurt you, and I’ll forever hate myself for it. I had a long time to think about what I did, what happened between us. Please, just give me a chance again, to prove that I’m different now.”

“I can’t,” I whispered, trembling slightly at his touch. “I’m already with someone else.”

I have very little recollection of what happened next.

I don’t know if it was the rejection that set him off, but his grip on my face instantly tightened like a vice before he slammed the left side of my face so hard into the brick I heard a loud crack and felt the impact on the right side of my head. My vision went blurry and I dropped like a stone to the ground. He kicked me in the side then too, and I instantly curled up and away from him, trying to protect myself from the assault. This couldn’t be happening again. I’m going to wake up soon, and it will all be a nightmare. Taron will wrap his arms around me, and tell me it’s not real. Please god, let it not be true.

I don’t know if I screamed, or if the young couple that came to my aid were just walking past at the moment, but suddenly Kevin was tackled to the ground by the man, and the woman was instantly on her phone calling police. She knelt next to me as I tried to sit up, but the pain in my side, and my head, was too much. I could feel something warm and wet trickling down my face and into my eye, and I gasped as it stung. Still, I struggled to reach over to my purse, fumbling with it to try and get to my phone. The woman, who had the kindest eyes, seemed to understand and pulled it out and handed it to me.

I tried to focus on the keypad numbers to unlock my phone, but they wouldn’t stay in the same place and I kept hitting the wrong ones. Finally, frustrated, I shoved it back into her hands and told her my passcode. “Call Taron, please. My boyfriend, you need to call him and tell him where they’re taking me,” I said, fighting desperately hard against the darkness that was threatening to pull me under.

The sirens came, ear-splittingly loud, and it was enough for me to not throw up as the nausea of pain swept through my body. Kevin must have been handcuffed and arrested; but I couldn’t see enough of what was going on around me to know it. When the medics lifted my battered body onto the stretcher and began immobilizing me, I cried out in pain as my side where he’d kicked me lit up in renewed pain, leaving me short of breath.

I was beginning to fade in and out as they pushed me into the back of the ambulance and settled an oxygen mask over my face. I could only hope the woman had been able to reach Taron; he would be absolutely worried sick if he didn’t hear from me. 

How did he find me? I thought again, bright white spots exploding before my vision as the doors were slammed shut and we were hurtling through the streets of London. The medics were saying words I couldn’t understand; if they were talking to me, I wouldn’t have known it. They poked and prodded; a needle pushed in my arm, gauze pressed against my face.

I knew it had all been too good to be true. This thought was even more painful to bear than the broken parts of my body.

And then everything went black.

**********

I promise this isn’t the end. Read more in Part 10.