#reliving my greatest hits in miscommunication and mistranslation
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Love is communication and love is a language and love is understanding so of course it freaking stings when someone misunderstands you even lightly because it’s like oh just… a little bit less of being known because if you knew you would understand what I’m saying to you but this is also complicated because sometimes it’s not a lack of love it’s a lack of resources to communicate or comprehend healthily and it’s tricky because when is it either how do you identify it and how can you tell when you should keep talking your language and they’ll work on their skills at understanding or when they don’t want to understand and how much is there an overlap between the two
Something something…. Why are people always misunderstanding/misreading my language and when I try to break it down for them or translate it and try to learn theirs it’s like I stop speaking my mother tongue it’s like it’s lost and alien and why can’t… anyone read it and listen to it and listen to me for once?
Love is putting effort into finding the translation but what happens when only one is translated and the other is lost?
#star speaks#star rambles#I’ve been very gloomy the past few days#reliving my greatest hits in miscommunication and mistranslation#and again now with my sister and I’m lost for words or I’m putting the only words I have left here#because it is hard to do all the work all the listening effort and transcription decoding translating#and in the midst of it for my efforts to be swiped off the table because what are you doing you’re attacking me#and so I painstakingly pick up the sheets of paper and cross out words and rewrite and show look no I was writing I was focusing on you#if you didn’t want it written down then you can tell me#if you didn’t want questions then say so#placing the leafs of paper over a fire as an offering to deafness but please look and see#I was caring it wasn’t evidence to hold up in court simply notes on understanding#only to be hit with yes but you’ve done it before and in the midst of my scribbles I feel myself wilt#I want sparks to catch the veil thin bark and disintegrate it all
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