#religious testimony

[xmo-rmon]

I've said so many times that the mormon church is so severe about keeping what goes on inside the temple a secret because they know how weird it would all look to outsiders, and that it would change their reputation if it was widespread knowledge. Maybe that's partially true.

But it hit me all at once last night when I realized what it really is. It's ensuring that you don't get the chance to hear from an outside voice whether or not what happened to you was okay. It's ensuring that they can do whatever they want to you and never face scrutiny for it.

They groom you for years, maybe your whole life, to not allow yourself to doubt anything the church does to you. And then they take you into a private building and make you swear not to breathe a word of what transpired there to anyone. And until recently, as I understand, the story was "if you tell anyone what happened here your tongue will be ripped out, your throat will be slit, your chest torn open and your guts spilled out", an outrageously violent threat in a church that is otherwise so flowery it gives you three tiers of heaven before you're at risk of going to the place they won't even call hell.

Slowly shifting your ideas about acceptable behavior. Separating you from people who could possibly tell you you're in danger. Luring you into privacy with pretty promises, telling you how special you are for being worthy of this. Their kindness turning on a dime once you're alone, threatening to gruesomely kill you if you tell anyone what they're doing to you. And then telling you that you'd better let them keep doing it, because no one else can help you be good and special like they can.

I wonder what kind of people use those exact tactics to get away with what kind of acts. I wonder if until very very recently there was a ritual in the temple where you had to let people touch your naked body, including your chest and very close to your genitals. Surely, mormons could be trusted not to take advantage of that, right?

Well, whatever happens, just remember, you'll die if you tell another living soul!

[awfullybigwardrobe44]

Let me tell you, God has a way of getting His way.

Tonight I found a series of heated and unkind messages I had sent to someone who was trying to help me. I was furious. ERP doesn’t make sense. It seems counterintuitive at best and like straight-up stupidity at worst. I am facing great danger! Why shouldn’t I solve the problem?

The first pic shows you where I was before I started ERP. I was dead-set on never doing it, because I thought it was ignoring problems that were going to send me to hell.

In July of 2024, I went through intense medication withdrawal, and I considered asking my parents to take me to the hospital because my OCD was so bad. I did probably 4 straight of compulsions, starting at about 7 am, after having done nearly an entire day’s worth of compulsions the day before. The morning that was so bad, I would write down something on my phone (I obsessively write down things on my phone to analyze thoughts and “reason” with myself), tell myself I was ok, set the phone down, and pick it up less than 10 seconds later to do more.

I was, in every sense of the word, hysterical.

And finally, I don’t know how it came about, but I told myself, “I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m saved.”

And I accepted it. Not that I’m not saved, but that I didn’t know. And that I wasn’t going to try to solve it anymore. And I sobbed in bed for about 30 minutes.

I decided, in an effort to NOT go to the hospital and regain some degree of sanity, that I would put off compulsions for one week. After a week, I would reexamine this problem and hopefully be able to function and get somewhere with it.

But soon thereafter, I decided to go full-throttle with the ERP. It was what everyone had been telling me to do. It was what everyone in my support group was telling me had healed them. They had found peace and rest and a better relationship with God through it for the first time in their lives.

And it was the one thing I hadn’t tried yet.

It’s been 6 months, and I haven’t looked back. Oh, I have failed in ERP many times. But I am fighting.

I can witness my thought patterns changing. It is so bizarre. I’m learning how fickle my brain is in terms of what will comfort and reassure me and what won’t. I’m learning that sometimes my brain is just PRIMED for doubt.

I’ve found rest I desperately needed. Not in perfect assurance of salvation, but in the decision to not figure it all out and to instead let God reveal it to me when He sees fit.

My mindset for ERP all along was that I’d do it to heal my brain so that after I’ve come to a better place mentally, God can finally send me an answer about whether or not I’m saved, and I’ll finally be able to receive it and understand.

For those curious, I have experienced a degree of assurance. It’s a weak one so far, but it’s this vague sense of “I don’t know—but I think that I might actually be ok.” And I got there without making sure every box was checked, every spiritual problem solved, and every doubt accounted for—something that was formerly impossible.

Something in me, most likely the OCD, still doubts it. I worry I’m being deceived or that I have an unwarranted sense of security/assurance. I pray God wont let me be deceived.

I can’t say that ERP has healed me yet (or, more realistically, that God has healed me through ERP).

But what I can say is this: I said I’d never do this, and yet here I am. I think God knew I’d never do it unless I was left with no other option.

And I think it might be working.

[blurryface19]

My therapist talked to me about how a lot of my experiences within church were emotional exploitation.

Most notably, when I was encouraged to preach and speak about my testimony. So many adults heard my traumatic childhood stories and told me that I had a powerful story to help people know Jesus. "God saved you from being murdered so you could show others how great he is."

So then 15 year old me spent many years talking to adults and students about my fucked up past. Then I got to college and had a mental breakdown/was diagnosed with PTSD. Where were those adults who encouraged me to share my story? Well, they stopped answering my calls. It became too uncomfortable when my story wasn't wrapped up in a neat bow.

It's nice for someone to acknowledge how fucked that was.

[insanescriptist]

Soooo, how religious is Umei in general? Because I can't decide if some of her writing is purposeful Christian Propaganda or just happens to rub me that way

It's not purposeful Christian Propaganda; that's a whole lot more blatant. At least what I've seen about it. And annoying, obviously. Some movies so so bad because of it. (Izzy's mom has the habit of technically watching whatever movie YT tosses up and some have been choices, to say the least. There have been so many Hallmarks I've listened to while she's visiting.)

It's probably rubbing you that way because of previous exposure to such; likely a negative experience if you're also American because boy, some American Christians (denomination unspecified) are obnoxious and a hateful lot. Which is very much more evidence that the very vocal American Christians lost the plot ages ago. Which is true if you care to trace back the various faith movements in the protestant church and how that's effected politics and business over time.

Umei's British and the British Protestant Church cleaves a lot closer to Catholicism than American protestant churches. At least from what I know historically about them; I haven't really researched modern British Protestant church movements. And even what I know of the American stuff is still rather surface level.

Still you also gotta remember, what Umei's writing fictional character(s) who are religious, of a Christian flavor. That's going to show in how they act, think, behave and say.

If you write a religious character who finds strength in their piety and uses their faith to shape magic and has positive and affirming interactions with other people who also share that faith? Yeah, it's going to sound vaguely like religious propaganda. It's kind of baked in. Religious propaganda is written into any institutionalized faith such as most forms of Christianity, so as to keep the faith going and growing and the institution that promotes said faith, growing and in power.

And if it still bothers you, may the force be with you. ♥

And now I'm going to be really bitchy in the tags

[theinwardlight]

Early Friends described themselves as persons who had undergone a radical transformation [...] They were changed people inwardly, and their outward lives changed as a result. These outward changes were called the testimonies of their lives, which were now seen as witnesses to Truth. As a witness in the courtroom testifies to the truth he has personally seen and heard in order to convince a jury of peers of the truth, these new Friends witnessed with their lives, giving testimony about the Truth that had changed them.

Lloyd Lee Wilson, 1993

[haootia]

last night i had a dream about a society of various species of bipedal furrypeople, as in your typical zootopias or beastars or whatever, but instead of anthropomorphized versions of real animals it was like a half dozen species (of genericized canine, lapine-rodent, hoofbeast, etc appearances. all mammals.) and each one had both a "prey morph" and a "predator morph" , so like there were carnivorous rabbit-equivalents and herbivorous wolf-equivalents, and every baby was born as a neutral omnivorous morph and developed into prey or predator based on lifestyle choices. like the god damn, alignment system in spore (2008), kind of thing. and once they were fully grown around age 20 they were basically Set as one or the other (they couldnt stay in the middle without being like extremely stunted, getting stuck between morphs was something that happened as a consequence of like childhood cancer and stuff it wasnt normal) but they could still kinda move it around a little. maybe moreso with medication. but like they couldnt switch to predator after 30 years of being prey and suddenly get sharp teeth yanno. the teeth are already in there its permanent.

there were societally perceived "pros and cons" to being predator/prey in like a tacky instagram pop science way where its like Predators are better at the arts... Prey are better at math.... type shit with tenuous basis in reality. there were definite physical differences between them but it was like what kind of food they can digest and if theyre better sprint or stamina athletes, the psychological stuff was total conjecture. the cultural norm was same-species same-morph opposite-sex monogamous relationships, and for children to be raised with access to both morphotypic activities but that they were born with an innate "real" morph and this access to both sets was just to "figure out which one they Really were" and not "consciously deciding which one they Want", and they were supposed to have it settled by their early teens at the latest.

so, im obviously being set up by my subconscious to hard pivot into this four-to-six-gender allegorical furry society worldbuilding project, which is a very cool idea but i do Not have time for that shit. someone else can do it. im not even that into furs i dont know why this vision was delivered basically fully-formed to me specifically

[pimo-and-sad-about-it]

Hey fellow pimo exmos! What's the weirdest testimony you heard at church today?

In my ward one guy has apparently been feeling homesick for his redneck town (his words). God answered his prayer by having him drive past a dead deer on the road with his redneck buddy, which they were then able to carve up and stick in their freezers! Homesickness cured, prayers answered, god bless😇😇😇

[prankprincess123]

Are you Mormon?

Given that Mormon is the name of a man, no I am not.

I am however a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, if that is the question you were intending to ask.

We believe that God doesn't play favorites with his children, and that resultingly in ancient times there were prophets in many corners of the earth so as to provide God's word to all people. Mormon is one such prophet we believe lived in the Americas in ancient times, who compiled the writings of his predecessors into a singular volume known as the Book of Mormon. But he is no more important than any prophet in the Bible or other prophet throughout all of history. It is because of our belief that God will never leave his children without guidance, and acceptance of continued scripture, including but very much not limited to the Book of Mormon, that in the early days of the Church people began using Mormon's name to refer to us. This was used as a derogatory term to alienate us from other sects of Christianity, but was semi-accepted and partially reclaimed because Mormon was a great prophet and hero who we do not mind being compared to. Our church has never been Mormon's church though, it is the Church of Jesus Christ in the latter days.

There are many slanderous beliefs the world holds about my religion, that have caused a lot of contention and controversy. Some of these are complete fabricated lies, others are from the actions of disowned offshoots, some the flaws or actions of individuals or groups within the church, and others are simply taken so out of context that they have lost all truth.

But yes, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and I am unafraid to share my love of my Heavenly Parents and my Savior Jesus Christ.

[erlandious]

so “If we’ve got nothing (we’ve got us)” [Kedreeva] just like. planted a flower in my heart? And gave me a pat on the back and said “good luck”??? I’m never going to find a fanfic like that for years man I’m so upset right now this fic is going to be on my mind for forever

[surroundedbytheworld]

Why I Left Christianity

by John Rainey (2023)

[voicesofthefandom]

Pain is what made me a sister warrior

Testimonial and cover art by @alex6502

Warrior Nun is the show that gives a life lesson to those who don’t see how much they hurt the people around them by saying a few words. Warrior Nun is the show that should continue sharing the stories that are so much alike. Religious or not, queer or not, we are all people who love. And loving somebody shouldn’t be a crime.

Read Alex's full Testimonial here

Submit your Testimonial to the Voices of the Fandom!

[thelattertimesofbeingcrazyfc]

My First Book

The Latter Times Of Being Crazy For Christ Pick Up Your Copy of My First Book and Let it be a Blessing to You I am pleased to share with you my very first book, which I hope will serve as a source of inspiration, guidance, and joy for you. I invite you to pick up your copy and allow it to become a cherished companion on your journey through life. Pick Up Another for Someone Who Can Benefit…

[mahayogi-123]

Youtube -

https://youtube.com/@mahayogirudraskha5053?si=dvPKdJWVOZXixvxa

Instagram -

https://instagram.com/mahayogirudraksha?igshid=NGVhN2U2NjQ0Yg==

Facebook -

https://www.facebook.com/mahendra.kadam.376

Google -

https://g.co/kgs/fHZ6kM

[tmarshconnors]

Thousands Hear The Gospel at Franklin Graham's God Loves You Tour in London 2023

[probablyasocialecologist]

A Massive Database of Evidence, Compiled by a Historian, Documents Israel's War Crimes in Gaza

The report Dr. Mordechai has compiled online – "Bearing Witness to the Israel-Gaza War" – constitutes the most methodical and detailed documentation in Hebrew (there is also an English translation) of the war crimes that Israel is perpetrating in Gaza. It is a shocking indictment comprised of thousands of entries relating to the war, to the actions of the government, the media, the Israel Defense Forces and Israeli society in general. The English translation of the seventh, and to date latest version of the text, is 124 pages long and contains over 1,400 footnotes referencing thousands of sources, including eyewitness reports, video footage, investigatory materials, articles and photographs. For example, there are links to texts and other kinds of testimony describing acts attributed to IDF soldiers who were seen "shooting civilians waving white flags, abuse of individuals, captives and corpses, gleefully damaging or destroying houses, various structures and institutions, religious sites and looting personal belongings, as well as randomly firing their weapons, shooting local animals, destroying private property, burning books within libraries, defacing Palestinian and Islamic symbols (including burning Qurans and turning mosques into dining spaces)."

[...]

"I wrote this so that in another half-year or in 100 years, people will go back and see that this is what it was possible to know, as early as January, and that those among us who didn't know, chose not to know."

5 December 2024