#religiondoesnotdefineme

[anunwindingpath]

I am a minority in more ways than one…

When I was growing up, my family always told me that my religion was humanity. They told me that I was no different than a boy and never treated me any different from my brothers and other men in the family. I grew up believing this to be true. And then the actual reality hit me gradually in the face through a series of incidents and people I met in my life. I realized I belonged to a very unique minority sect.I am a woman and I am a Muslim – two states of existence that are belittled, ridiculed, frowned upon and in some cases on their way to being banned in the world.I did not ask to belong to either of these. I was just grouped into these categories by my municipality, my school, my job and by people who came in my life whose sole purpose it seemed was to remind me about where I belonged. As a Muslim, I have had friends of a higher religion refuse to eat a meal at my home because of my religion. My future-in-laws who belong to a so-called higher religion, have cast doubts whether I will infuse the family with ‘jihadist’ thoughts and practices, even though I have never shown any signs of religious affiliations. My future husband is riddled with questions of whether my children will carry my name, because then it will reveal their affiliation to my religion. I have seen people’s smile drop a fraction when they realize I am a Muslim. I have had people question me why I don’t look like a Muslim, if I am one? And the irony is: I have never understood what looking or behaving like a Muslim means! As a woman, I am paid lesser than my male colleagues even though my educational qualifications and experience far outstrips theirs. I am constantly asked why I am not married despite having crossed the age of 30? I am constantly reminded that my time to become a mother is running out. I am told that it is my fault that men stare at me, because I am wearing the wrong clothes. I am expected to accept without question that I have to leave my parents after my wedding because it is a ‘norm’. My parents and my ancestors did it, so I have to do it as well. I am sent back home from a business conference for not having dressed in ‘style’ like a fashionable woman. Because of course how I look matters more than my grey matter. I am told that I am NOT a girl because I swear too much, and that I am too loud and vocal. And the irony is: I have never understood what looking and behaving like a girl means! And the best for the last combines both my so-called shortcomings: I am told to restrain voicing my real opinions in public forums because as a woman I am not allowed to have an opinion that is worth any consideration, and as a Muslim I face the danger of retaliation from other powerful and higher religions.This is the price I, and other human beings like me, pay for belonging to this unique sect of minorities.   But today, under the garb of anonymity that frees me from this typecast, I want to make a statement.Yes, I belong to a minority - but not the one that the world has condemned me to. I belong to the minority of free-spirited individuals who refuse to be bogged down by this onslaught of typecasting. The world may think that they are subduing me by banishing me to this group, but I want the world to know that my spirit is not subdued, nor will it ever be. I will continue to fly higher and ascertain my individuality through any and all means possible and this note is a proof of that.