#related to this: i don't think john and mary are soulmates
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fandom-hoarder · 2 months ago
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Happy Wincest Wednesday!
17. how do you see their soulmate relationship? any headcanons?
Happy Wincest Wednesday!! And thank you🥰
My favorite headcanon about samdean soulmates is that it wasn't part of Heaven's plan. Them being soulmates--this rare souldeep connection--is part of why they are able to buck off the heaven scripting.
This doesn't completely jive with canon when taken as retrospective, but coming from the s1-5 perspective---where the christian god is just A god, death will reap him some day, death has some control over multidimensional travel and life and death, and the apocalypse is being run on, like, a note angel daddy left on the kitchen table before disappearing--- I just really love the idea that the universe itself made them soulmates against all Heaven's plans.🥺💜
I also think Sam is pretty tuned into their soul connection thanks to his latent psychic "vibes," hence being able to tell Dean isn't Dean on multiple occasions, feel his ghost in the room during In My Time of Dying, and he holds a lot of frustration at Dean hardly ever catching on to a not!Sam.
When things settle down long enough for Sam to start really thinking about the soulmate revelation (years after!!), he tries to get Dean to practice tuning in to their connection. Dean is a little skeeved at what he perceives as a witchy practice, but gives in when Sam runs through the list of all the times his obliviousness got them into bad situations. It just makes sense tactically, Dean!
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veritylane7 · 3 years ago
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+mydecember+ Twilight ver. 13
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( 10:50 PM )   Math-class doodle of Rukura (Raphael), airbrushed. Came out nicely. ^.^       ( 10:07 PM )   John's suggestion for a feel-good song that Mr. Rozario (school principal) should play over the PA system in the morning? Children of the Damned by Iron Maiden.... how I agree! ^____^
We're sick, sick people. Can you tell we're related??
song of the moment: "Genocide" by the Offspring. I really gotta get some of the Offspring cds... I want Smash, Americana, and Conspiracy of One.... *sulks*
( 9:57 PM )   Ribby-chan... s'all being taken care of. Mike and Matt be lookin' after me closely, and if Dan does anything else, he's in for some serious trouble. *heh* Mike or Matt my soulmate? Dooood, Mike's a pal, and Matt's like my older brother (he's actually my most recent ex-boyfriend in a way). Thanks for the concern, tho! And don't worry... I beat Dan up nice. If I have my way, he'll be singing soprano come next week.
*heehee* I think I've FOUND my soulmate, anyhoo. *pointed look at someone who's screen name rhymes with punkin' pie* *heartheart* ^__^
( 9:49 PM )   *runs around screaming fangirlishly* YUMMY! YUMMY! I GOT A CUTE, SCAAAAAAARY DOOD FOR THIS TEST!!!
Ideal anime guy test...
# 1 Zagato from Magic Knight Rayearth # 2 Ashitare from Fushigi Yuugi # 3 Chichiri from Fushigi Yuugi # 4 Hotohori from Fushigi Yuugi # 5 Kiryuu Touga from Shoujo Kakumei Utena # 6 Taikoubou from Senkaiden Houshin Engi # 7 Hayama Akito from Kodomo no Omocha # 8 Kyoichi Saionji from Shoujo Kakumei Utena # 9 Morisato Keichi from Ah! My Goddess # 10 Nakago from Fushigi Yuugi # 11 Ohtori Akio from Shoujo Kakumei Utena # 12 Ryohji Kaji from Neon Genesis Evangelion # 13 Eagle Vision from Magic Knight Rayearth # 14 Gabriev Gourry from The Slayers # 15 Ikari Gendo from Neon Genesis Evangelion # 16 Nagoya Chiaki from Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne # 17 Chiriko from Fushigi Yuugi # 18 Li Shaolan from Cardcaptor Sakura # 19 Tsukishiro Yukito / Yue from Cardcaptor Sakura # 20 Eriol Hiigarizawa / Clow from Cardcaptor Sakura # 21 Ikari Shinji from Neon Genesis Evangelion # 22 Kinomoto Touya from Cardcaptor Sakura # 23 Shiirou Kamui from X (X/1999) # 24 Tamahome from Fushigi Yuugi # 25 Monou Fuuma from X (X/1999)
( 9:46 PM )   Ideal anime girl test... how'd they know that I adore Skuld, Ami-chan, and Misato? o.O
# 1 Skuld (Oh my Goddess) # 2 Amy (Sailormoon) # 3 Misato (Eva) # 4 Belldandy (Oh my Goddess) # 5 Kari (Digimon) # 6 Rei (Eva) # 7 Lita (Sailormoon) # 8 Mina (Sailormoon) # 9 Fuu (MK Rayearth) # 10 Serena (Sailormoon) # 11 Hikaru (MK Rayearth) # 12 Sora (Digimon) # 13 Bulma (Dragon Ball) # 14 Mimi (Digimon) # 15 Misty (Pokemon) # 16 Rei (Sailormoon) # 17 Umi (MK Rayearth) # 18 Videl (Dragon Ball) # 19 Asuka (Eva) # 20 Urd (Oh my Goddess)
( 9:44 PM )   Slayers kyara test... now THESE results are good.
# 1 Gaav the Demon Dragon King # 2 Beastmaster Zelas # 3 Luna Inverse # 4 Valgaav (Vally-girl! ^_^) # 5 Xelloss Metallium # 6 Zelgadiss Greywords # 7 Gourry Gabriev # 8 Lina Inverse # 9 Rezo the Red Priest # 10 Filia Ul Copt # 11 Martina Whatever-Her-Last-Name-Is # 12 Amelia Wil Tesra Seyruun # 13 Naga (Wil Tesra Seyruun? I think so) # 14 Kopii Rezo # 15 Prince Phil
( 9:41 PM )   Sailor Moon test results... scary. O_O
# 1 Nehelenia # 2 Setsuna/Sailor Pluto # 3 Artemis # 4 Galaxia # 5 Haruka/Sailor Uranus # 6 Taiki/Sailor Star Maker # 7 Hotaru/Sailor Saturn # 8 Michiru/Sailor Neptune # 9 Minako/Sailor Venus # 10 Rei/Sailor Mars # 11 Yaten/Sailor Star Healer # 12 Luna # 13 Makoto/Sailor Jupiter # 14 Princess Kakyuu # 15 Ami/Sailor Mercury # 16 Chibiusa/Sailor Chibi Moon # 17 Seiya/Sailor Star Fighter # 18 Mamoru/Tuxedo Kamen # 19 Usagi/Sailor Moon # 20 Chibi-Chibi/Sailor Chibi Chibi Moon
( 9:39 PM )   Pokemon test...
# 1 Satoshi/Ash # 2 Shigeru/Gary # 3 Nyarth/Meowth # 4 Kasumi/Misty # 5 Pikachu # 6 Takeshi/Brock # 7 Kojiro/James # 8 Musashi/Jessie
I'm Ash and Gary... isn't that damn close to weird?
( 9:37 PM )   *laughing again* CHECK IT OUT!!
CCS Kyara test results:
# 1 Kero-chan # 2 Syaoran Li # 3 Touya Kinomoto # 4 Tomoyo Daidouji # 5 Eriol Hiiragizawa # 6 Sakura Kinomoto # 7 Yukito Tsukishiro
I'm Kero-chan!
( 9:35 PM )   EEEEEEH!!! O_O; For the X/1999 test... I'm Satsuki! O_o
# 1 Yatouji Satsuki - dragon of earth # 2 Kuzuki Kakyou - dragon of earth # 3 Sumeragi Subaru - dragon of heaven # 4 Monou Fuuma - dragon of earth # 5 Nataku - dragon of earth # 6 Shirou Kamui - dragon of heaven # 7 Kishuu Arashi - dragon of heaven # 8 Shiyuu Kusanagi - dragon of earth # 9 Kigai Yuuto - dragon of earth # 10 Sakurazuka Seishirou - dragon of earth # 11 Aoki Seiichirou - dragon of heaven # 12 Arisugawa Sorata - dragon of heaven # 13 Kasumi Karen - dragon of heaven # 14 Nekoi Yuzuriha - dragon of heaven
( 9:32 PM )   *laughing like a total idiot* CHECK THIS OUT! HOW FUNNY!!! I find that the results for my taking the Eva kyara personality test are very well done!
# 1 Asuka Langley Sohryu # 2 Gendou Ikari # 3 Ryouji Kaji # 4 Misato Katsuragi # 5 Touji Suzuhara # 6 Kaworu Nagisa # 7 Kouzou Fuyutsuki # 8 Ritsuko Akagi # 9 Aoba Shigeru # 10 Makoto Hyuuga # 11 Shinji Ikari # 12 Maya Ibuki # 13 Hikari Horaki # 14 Rei Ayanami # 15 Pen-Pen
( 5:56 PM )   Speller!!! You owe me Mickey ears, and I want Lance's underwear!! AND FEEL MY WRATH!! *wraths Speller* MWAHAHAHAHA! JOYCE IS DEAD! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!       ( 7:36 AM )   Morning Blog!
Nah-nah-nah! Riot Ink business caaaards! *heehee*
I'm okay, really.
I am headachey!!! As Amy would say... my head is doing the achey brakey dance of PAIN. So, I imagine I will get nothing done in class. Ms. Fotinos is gonna kill me for skipping anyway... *sighs*
Querida! I shall continue my efforts to make dad buckle!!
Meagen-san.... really, I know what you mean. Technically, I can draw, but I kinda lack depth in my art (from what I can see). There are very few pictures that turn out with the emotion or realism I want them to come out with..... and funny enough, that kyara that I tend to make look how I want is good ol' Lucas.
Lucas: What can I say? I'm perfect. *mutters* Yeah, right...
And yes, you're getting fanart. Now if only I can manage to scan it....
Meg's Art Corner! Raphael-chan, or as I refer to him in RPs, Lian's Rukura. This is a fine example of what I draw in math class on scrap paper. And querida? It's not THAT good. ^##^;;;;
That's all from me!
Over an' out!
( 10:48 PM )   Of course my idea is good, querida! I'm so smart after all! *tosses away IQ test scores that say only 142* Lucas with blue hair.... streaked with green!!!!!! Yeeaaah, baby!       ( 3:23 PM )   Warning, incoming rant!
STUPID! GODDAMN FLIPPIN' STUPID!! What a GOOD way to get yourself killed! Doing f*cking drugs! STUPID STUPID!!! Goddamn it! I mean, pot, okay that's bad. Bad and STUPID. But 'shrooms?!! HOT DAMN IS THAT STUPID!! And not only that, getting yourself into a situation where you get thrown out of your mom's house?! F*cking stupid! *fumes*
(note: never mind, needed to vent.... friend issues)
( 2:00 PM )   At home and skipping civics class.... *whistles and rocks back on her heels* 9.9
You know what's scary? It's scary when a dood whom you eat lunch with even jokes about wanting to rape you. That's scary. Even scarier is when he pins you against the wall and you have to fight him off, and when he comes back, your best (guy) friends beat the living sh*t out of him. Not quite sure what to make of this.... big super duper hugs and thank yous to Mike and Matt, my new bodyguards. Dan, touch me again, and they'll kill you for sure. I'll see to it. *sweet smile*
( 7:32 AM )   Morning blog!
Querida: Yep, the Mark plot is similar to our dj idea... except a bit more profound. *heh* And seriously, tho, a good plot would be something to the effect of Mark goes baaaad-niichan and tries to end the world, and you gots to stop him. There's a plot. Hooray for plots! Cam's efforts on trying to get Mark to put some sort of value on his own body should start working someday. I mean, HOW many times has Cam explained it? Not to mention, Mark has a nice idea of how Cam thinks now that he's been inside his mind. Mark-niichan's a slut.... but I love him anyway!
Cam: *pounds the living daylights out of Meg for calling Mark such a thing*
*heeheehee* Animal comparisons! *heehee* I gotta try that! Rukura = gecko Poya = otter Yuken = viper Lucifer = duck Michael = horse Zachariah = pot-bellied pig (personality wise) Gabriel = peacock Kanson = crocodile (someone patch in a call to australia, let's get the Crocodile Hunter in here, please... *crosses fingers*)
Meagen-san: I'm working on a fanart for you of SailorM. I shall prolly CG it tonight or tomorrow, okie?
School blows! I don't wanna go to school! WAH!
over and out.
( 6:35 PM )   For fun, and just to annoy him... Rukura's stats!
Name: Raphael Harrison Nickname: Rukura Age: 17 Date of Birth: February 28th Hair: purple Eyes: green Height: 6'4 Occupation: student Descent: Angel Family: human family includes Jacob [father, deceased] and Mary-Anne [mother, deceased]. Original family includes Kanson [father], Europa [mother, deceased], and Uriel {Yuken} [half-brother] Friends: Lucifer, Pandora {Poya}, Michael, Zachariah Current Residence: Atlanta, Georgia Likes: music, reading, daydreaming, being anti-social Dislikes: homework, unwanted attention, medication, and fighting Skills: singing, getting weirdly good grades Setbacks: has a rather serious heart condition, which despite medication and various attempts, is damn near impossible to treat, suicidal, and generally miserable Notes: reincarnation of the Messiah. Human mother died in childbirth, human father committed suicide a few months later. Is considered a "problem child", as he usually gets into fights at school. Been shifted around to foster homes all his life, never staying in one particular home longer than 1 1/2 years. Most recent foster family died in a car crash, leaving him the only living "relative" to claim his foster father's fortune. Lives alone.
( 6:24 PM )   Chris-kun: Dood, a meant the person playing as being Mark... ^__^;;
Meg-chan's on net restrictions, lalalalala... she's gonna get in trouble if she gets caught on the internet, lalalalala... she's rewriting stats for LotM, lalalalala.... she's TOO attached to Raphael-chan, lalala--
Rukura: *belts Meg in the head* Don't call me that! Meg: It's your legal name, isn't it? I like it better 'an Rukura...
Dan wants me to hit him. In the eeeeeew kinda way. Do I really come across as that much of a dom? @_@
( 7:16 AM )   Morning blog!
This is bound to be a short enrty, as mom is home. Sooo...
I had a really funky dream last night, but I don't remember it. All I remember is waking up a lot, upset, and trying to recall where I was. Bennett was curled up to me most of the night (good spiritie dood ^_^), but I don't think it helped much.... ah, well, it's the thought that counts.
Yesterday, I blew $44 on prismacolor pens. I got the box set of cool greys, plus a replacement 60% warm grey as mine is running out. That's me broke for another month now.
BMB is cuuuuuute today. *giggles* I want my verra' own Mik! I *heartheart* Mik! Rach, you better get me a Mik for my birthday! Or else!
I can't draw worth beans lately. *cries*
to Chris-kun: Thanks for the comment on the layout... and maybe now I'll bug querida to do an AH game (I honestly didn't think about that @_@).
*ponders* Yeah, you could go arouns as Mark in the game, and you could sleep with every second person you run into---
Cam: SHUT UP! *thwacks Meg* Meg: Hey, it's not my fault that your hubby is a total sl--- Cam: *throws a table at Meg* Meg: Itaaaai. X_X
Otaaay, enough out of me. Over and out.
( 11:44 PM )   Hal is GOD... lalalala! Hal is thy holy master!       ( 11:27 PM )   Purple is a nice colour! It's the colour of hentai. ^__^;       ( 12:30 AM )   BEHOLD THE NEW LAYOUT!!!
....very purple, isn't it?
( 3:58 PM )   This close >< to shooting myself...       ( 3:56 PM )   I WILL get this to work.... I swear I will.       ( 3:53 PM )   HTML is annoying. Background image, where are you?       ( 3:50 PM )   Let's hope for the background image now.... *crosses fingers*       ( 3:45 PM )   Playing with the layout...       ( 3:25 PM )   This is the temp layout, as I'm altering this puppy to look how I want it to. New version should be up tonight.       ( 2:43 PM )   Chris-kun: the Boa cd has two names. One is the japanese release, the other is for the international market. It's either called Race of the Thousand Camels or Twilight (like this here blog!). And the Limp Bizkit cd is called Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavoured Water. And Hannibal is a lot different than the Silence of the Lambs, isn't it? I liked it, but I stand by the fact that Jodie Foster made a much better Clarice Starling than Julianne Moore could ever hope to be.
Anyway.
My Bennett still isn't home... Dora, is he still with you? If not, you'd think he'd be home by now... *sighs*
Okay, time for me to book it outta' here for a bit afore dad calls and has a fit 'cause the line is busy.
( 8:05 PM )   Interlude...
Meg: Cain and Yuken! KAWAII!!!! Yuken: *giggles and twitches his neko-mimi, looking all innocent* Rukura: ICK! Who the HELL would touch HIM!? *points at Yuken* Meg: Well, you 'touched' him once... Rukura: NOT BY CHOICE, GODDAMMIT!! .... *sneezes* Yuken: *eyes Rukura venomously* Rukura: I'll be running off to Lian now... *heads for the hills as fast as his (verra' long) legs can carry him*
( 8:00 PM )   Querida, thank goodness it's not bronchitis. That's something I get a LOT, and it's not fun at all. And ten pounds? ALRIGHT! You GO, girlfriend!! *tackleglomps* You'll be okay.... I know so! ^.^
I got the "Play" cd (Moby), which came with the edit of South Side for free. Bonus, baby! ^_____^
( 7:24 AM )   Morning blog!
Well, I feel mighty stupid this morning. Yesterday, I kinda pulled a muscle in my left leg (riiight in my calf), but it stopped hurting. Woke up from a funky dream and got up to find it hurt. Now, being the idiot I am and not usually restricted by physical pain (hey, that's what ended up breaking my ankle), I went for a shower. Feeling headachey and cramped, I worked my way down the stairs, only to pull the same muscle again and fall about halfway down and land on the cat at the bottom. ^___^;;; <---- feels very dumb
*falls over* Meagen-san, you had me scared a minute there! If you had MEANT Mark, I would have had to call in paramedics and stuff to make sure you weren't doped up on anything!!!! @_@
List of kyara and colours this blog is gonna be themed on in order of layout updates: Cam/purple (this weekend, hopefully) Lucas/red (whenever) Mark/blue (whenever) Sybandial/pink (whenever) Jesse/green (whenever)
Each layout will have a background featuring the kyara, too! ^_^
I really need a life. Over and out!
( 9:51 PM )   Song lyrics... one of Cam's most recent themes! "Learn to Fly" by the Foo Fighters
Run and tell all of the angels This could take all night Think I need a devil to help me get things right
Hook me up a new revolution Cuz this one is a lie We sat around laughing And watched the last one die
I'm looking to the sky to save me Looking for a sign of life Looking for something to help me burn out bright I'm looking for a complication Looking cuz I'm tired of lying Make my way back home when I learn to fly
I'm done nursing the patience I can wait one night I'd give it all away if you'd give me one last try We'll live happily ever trapped if you'd just save my life Run and tell the angels that everything's all right
I'm looking to the sky to save me Looking for a sign of life Looking for something to help me burn out bright I'm looking for a complication Looking cuz I'm tired of trying Make my way back home when I learn to fly Make my way back home when I learn to
Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone Try to make this life my own Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone Try to make this life my own
I'm looking to the sky to save me Looking for a sign of life Looking for something to help me burn out bright I'm looking for a complication Looking cuz I'm tired of trying Make my way back home when I learn to
Looking to the sky to save me Looking for a sign of life Looking for something to help me burn out bright I'm looking for a complication Looking cuz I'm tired of trying Make my way back home when I learn to fly Make my way back home when I learn to fly Make my way back home when I learn to...
( 7:06 PM )   Tay, I've decided the theme for my next layout... good ol' Bennett and the colour purple. How... fitting. ^__^
Now if only I can get this stupid HTML editor thing to work... *binks it*
( 11:05 AM )   Morning blog (late again)!
WHOO HOO! I GOT INTO THE ADVANCED VISUAL ART STUDIO CLASS!!! BIG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ON MR. HALL!!!!
Yeaaah, I just went to first period class this morning and got my classes for next year reviewed. Then I came home because the muscles in my abdomen are spasming and it hurts like bugger all.
To all my blogging friends; I'm gonna change the layout of this blog in the next week (I have a LOT of links to add). I'm gonna theme it around an AH kyara, so lemme know who you think would be best, please. Just post your opinion in your blog, as I read most of them daily anyway. ^__^;
( 8:23 PM )   Yeah, I've neglected my duties as a blog-person lately... I have a life, you know. (Hey, the LEAST you can do is smile and nod! T_T)
Not much is happening, really. My civics class keeps getting cancelled, so I think I'll skip it tomorrow and come home early. What else to say...? Ummm, not much.
Song of the moment: "The Kids Aren't Alright" by the Offspring. I'm on a REAL Offspring kick right now... dunno why exactly. Maybe 'cause they just amuse me. ^_^;
Grammy awards. Bleeeek. *makes a face*
Amy, kids who don't like cheese are stupid! HA HA!
( 3:33 PM )   ...afternoon.... blog!
This morning I spent the whole time trying to get my scanner to work, so thus, no morning blog. But I've got some stuff say for a change!
Today, lunch period was spent bothering Dan for the most part. He really ticked me off yesterday, and I'm extracting my revenge. So, I was making him jealous by glomping Matt at every opportunity (Matt doesn't mind too much, and he's nice to hug 'cause he's always warm.... and no, Mike, he's not my boyfriend! JUST A FRIEND!! T_T). It was rather comical. Civics class was cancelled, since Ms. Fotinos was at the Raptor's game with the people who signed up to go... the half of my class that was at school for the last three periods of the day got transferred to a Grade 12 geography class, in which was SO awkward that the teacher took pity on us and sent us all home. Redoing Angel Hunter again. This time, on the right sized paper... I'm sticking with the page layouts, tho, as I think I've got the look I want.
And, for fun! Rukura's theme song lyrics!
Home by Depeche Mode
Here is a song from the wrong side of town Where I'm bound to the ground by the loneliest sound That pounds from within and is pinning me down
Here is a page from the emptiest stage A cage or the heaviest cross ever made A guage of the deadliest trap ever laid
And I thank you for bringing me here For showing me home, for singing these tears Finally I've found that I belong here
The heat and the sickliest sweet smelling sheets That cling to the backs of my knees and my feet I'm drowning in time to a desperate beat
And I thank you for bringing me here For showing me home, for singing these tears Finally I've found that I belong...
Feels like home I should have known From my first breath
God sent the only true friend I call mine Pretend that I'll make amends the next time Befriend the glorious end of the line
And I thank you for bringing me here For showing me home, for singing these tears Finally I've found that I belong here.
( 7:11 AM )   Morning Blog!
This song is tripping me out right now, but goddamn, do I love it! *grooves to "Home" by Depeche Mode* It's a really dramatic song... and it's sooooo making me think of Rukura. >_<;
It's very cold this morning. At least I think so, anyway, so I'm sitting here wearing the couch blanket as a cape. I feel like a doooork.
Meg's Art Corner (Freckle-chan, you copycat! T_T)
A special little picture; Lucas in his newest style of dress. Drool factor, out of 10? 12.
What else to say... ummm... Mom didn't leave me lunch money again. T_T;
Over and out!
( 2:12 PM )   Cam: EVERYONE RUN WHILE YOU CAN!!!! THE END IS NEAR!!!!!
....yep, for the first time in YEARS, I'm the proud owner of twp pairs of blue jeans. I've not worn blue jeans since I was about 5... and these ones fit niiiiice. I have hips and a waist.... @__@
Anyway, mom and I went to Sears and then to Curry's Art Supplies. I got my two pairs of jeans, two men's dress shirts (one white, one black), a new sketchbook, 4 new warm grey prismacolors, and a new 05 pigment pen. I am a happy Meg-chan!
Blue jeans that fit... *in shock*
( 9:09 PM )   I have officially started rewriting the Chronicles of Benjamin Carter! WHIHAI! Here's a bit of what I've written so far.
Frail. Benjamin was frail. He was about 5'4, fifteen years of age, and pale. He was small and slight in build; a boy and not yet a man. Right now, he looked more fragile than he really was... curled up under the blankets of his rather small bed, bruised and crying. It was a familiar scene.
Benjamin wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand in a vain attempt to push the tears away. However, it was pointless since more just spilled down his cheeks as if to spite him and his efforts to stop them. He hated crying. Hated it. But at times like this --- only at times like this--- he couldn't help himself. He was so tired of being forced into the clutches of rich men; predators that liked their pleasure taken out on the young boys who could be bought if the price was right. He was sick of the violation and the abuse. Most of all, he was sick of his father pushing him into it. His own father. He hiccupped in his efforts to restrain his tears.
Benjamin wanted more than anything to run away. Run away to another city, another country, anywhere but where he was. Just out of the clutches of the people who hurt him so much. But he was trapped like the birds his father kept in the iron cages that lined the back yard. He was a prisoner, shackled to the bars of his perpetual cage. Derkshaw would catch him if he ran. Derkshaw always caught him.
"Damn him to hell," Benjamin thought bitterly, though he regretted thinking it for reasons he couldn't quite explain.
There was a tap of boots in the hallway, and Benjamin closed his eyes, breathed deeply, and pretended to be asleep. The heavy, even steps stopped outside his door. The door squeaked as it opened slightly.
Benjamin tried to keep his breathing slow and deep, tried not to flinch. He felt Derkshaw's gaze on him. It burned.
'Go away, papa, go away....'
The door opened a bit more, and the tap of boots carried into the room.
It would be a good half hour before Derkshaw left, the blood on his hands and shirt not his own.
( 2:28 PM )   Man, am I grateful for mom. She just brought me the most wonderful little care packet of a bottle of ibuprofen and a Terry's Dark Chocolate Orange bar. *sniffles happily* Thank you, mommie!
Amy, Amy, Amy.... you have no idea how much stress is gone already. *heavy sigh* I can't thank you enough.
Spellleeeeeeerrrr, next weekend is go for coming over to my house to watch movies! You like freaky movies, I'll make you watch freaky ANIME movies! On the roster so far: Perfect Blue and X. Maybe I'll make a trip to Roger's Video and snag Devil Man or something. But I will get you hooked. I will. Your time will come (*sings* thy will be done!).
*laughing at BMB* Yeah, Mik, you dirty minded cutie! You think those nasty thoughts about Harley! *laughing*
Oiiii, Freckle-chan... you posted a nice list of couples you like. I think for fun, I'll do the same!
Cardcaptor Sakura Touya and Yukito - kawaii! KAWAII!!!! Sakura and Tomoyo - so sue me!
Oh My Goddess! Trobadour and Urd - they were cool! Too bad he's such a dork. Keiichi and Belldandy - well, DUH!
Magic Knight Rayearth Ascot and Umi - I'm a sucker for Ascot. What a little cutie! Clef and Presea - ditto that, 'cause Clef is so cute and so short!
Dragon Half Mink and Lufa - not likely, I know, but still.
Bakuretsu Hunter Tira and Carrot - feh on Chocolate. She's not half as cool as Tira. Marron and Gateau - I don' like Gateau too much, but Marron is so hot. *_*
Ranma 1/2 Ranma and Shampoo - not likely, either, but I think Mousse is too wussy for her. I've always been a Ranma/Shampoo 'shipper.
Shamanic Princess Kagetsu and Tiara - it's a sad relationship... Sarah and Tiara - um, don't ask.
Slayers Lina and Gourry - he's so funny around her... ^__^
Sailor Moon Usagi and anyone but Mamoru! T_T; Chibi Usagi and Pelulu [Perelu, Perele] - *heehee* Cute fae-ish boy with white hair!
Neon Genesis Evangelion Shinji and Asuka - I think she really does like him. She just doesn't know how to show it. Misato and Koji - funny funny! She's a player, tho.
RPing kyara [involving mine] Cam and Mark - for obvious reasons. Rukura, Lian, and Gabby - yes, a yaoi threesome. They're all so cute. Sola [Soren] and Sybandial - so innocent and sweet. ^_^ Jyrian and Quoik - I don't talk about these two much, but their relationship is really cute. Jesse and Rach - how can I not like this? He's cute, she's cute (haha, Rach!) Lucas and Lila - I liked this possibility... too bad she's dead and we won't find out what woulda' happened. Lucas and Carter - this is a slightly more demented relationship. Cadence and Lexiel - a more intellectual relationship... even if Lexiel is kinda big on sex for sick reasons. ^_^; Cadence3 and Cam - I'm a sick, sick girl. Lucifer and Setsuko - if we get Setsuko back, then we can resume this. They're cute too. ^_^
Other Stories Kiih and Ro (from Dora's "Three O'Clock") - I don't really know why... these two just kinda hit it off in my mind. Len and Yuri (see above) - ditto the above again.
Book Series Ron and Hermione - need I explain? Sirius and Remus - again, need I explain? Lestat and Louis (Anne Rice's VC books) - strange but yummy relationship Lestat and David - intellectual and alluring. Marius and Amadeo - Stokholm syndrome. Cal and Meg (A Wrinkle in Time) - KAWAII!
That's that done. ^__^;
( 10:41 PM )   Sap warning ahead!
I have the best best friends in the whole world! My best friends are Speller and Amy!
Speller, who I know I don't mention on here too much (I'm sorry! ;_;), is the smartest person I know. She's also one of the most talented writers, too. How many people can write a whole novel before/during high school? Aside from Amelia Atwater-Rhodes, not many. And her poetry kicks ass! She has a lot of it published. She can also draw better realistic stuff than I can, which makes me mondo jealous. It's not fair, I tell you! And she must learn to watch out for Hannibal. Beware him. Speller likes pudding. And pears. Damn those pears.
Amy and I have been friends since 7th grade, when she was the "new kid". We actually first met in drama class. She ran over a possum on her way to work. Yeeeah! She, too, is an amazing writer. It's not FAIR! She came runner up in the story writing contest a while back. I was proud. And I SCREEEEEEAMED the loudest when she won the Todd Bayless award. I live to embarrass.... ^_~
I am grateful to have such good friends. I love them. This concludes the sap. ^___^;
( 9:04 PM )   Querida, you're cooler than Simon and Milo! (Personally, Milo's a tad too butch for my liking, but Simon is a cute little brit guy with the sweetest little sentiments!) ....anyway.... yes, you have a neck. I hope. ^_~
And to complete the phrase you know you have problems when...you obsess over a cartoon with no neck, no nose, and huge eyes!
( 7:29 AM )   Morning blog!
I watched Perfect Blue last night. It downright scared me! Seeing Hannibal didn't scare me, seeing the Rage; Carrie 2 didn't scare me.... but Perfect Blue DID. The "real Mima" (the one who's forever in the Cham costume) is SCARY!!! And the Mimaniac is pretty scary too. o_O Iffen you haven't seen this movie, get it. Especially if you like stuff like Neon Genesis Evangelion, X, or Serial Experiments Lain. I warn you, there's nudity, a rape scene, and a lot of gore. This movie freaked me out more than Eva did.
In other news... going to the art store tomorrow!!! And, I'm also skipping 5th period today. Maybe even 3rd, 'cause I'm stuck doing NOTHING all class anyway. -_-;
Hopefully they have the 10x15 paper I want... 'cause, you know, that being the traditional dimensions for comic drawing. Y'all knew that, right? *gives you a loooooook*
And I best be off to get ready... JA!
( 7:02 PM )   Blogger hates me.
OH! OH! EVERYONE GO READ TODAY'S BMB!!! CY AND SKIDS FOREVERRRRR!!!!
I'm having a hell of a lucky streak this week. Today, in the mail, I got an AUTOGRAPHED Simon and Milo picture, FRAMED!!! *swoons*
And I got Perfect Blue!!!!
( 5:14 PM )   Gonna go see Hannibal with Mike and Chris in about half an hour! ^__^       ( 7:21 AM )   Morning Blog!
Last night, began a really angsty RP with Cam and Mark (well, it was angsty on Cam's end). Now, I only just realized that I think up really weird stuff that follow pretty much all the major time/space/reality laws. And all on a whim and at random. It's strange. You know you study this stuff too much when.... Yep, it's not every day when I come up with plots like that puppy. Using the imprints left in the reality weave to reconstruct a Mark.... that's some strange stuff (but it actually makes sense, which is what throws me). Huh.
I feel guilty... I got mad at Amy last night. She was being a little more depressing than usual, and I just couldn't stand it. I'm sick and stressed and I don't need to boost her ego all the time.
I've had this urge for the past couple of days to draw Cam shaking Lucas by the shoulders and looking very upset while Lucas looks blank. I don't really know why.... the caption for it has been running through my head, as it is this: "What am I to you?!" Trippiness.
Well, being the idiot I am, I didn't do my civics homework. My group is gonna love me for that.... then again, they're sticking me with the job of reading the presentation on Spain because I'm the only one that knows how to speak some Spanish. *sweatdrops*
I'm having urges to draw the weirdest things.... I hate it when Cam angsts at me from his little spot in my mind.
Meg's Art Corner A really weird little picture of c3 and a Chibi Cam. C3 is drawn more in my gothic anime style than my normal one. Turned out quite well! ^_^
Over and out!
( 7:16 PM )   Neeee, imouto! If you're not gonna be doing Yunga Neko for a while, you should get a guest artist to do, like, weekly panels just until you can work on it again. *volunteers*       ( 7:14 AM )   Morning blog time again, kids!
I'm feeling okay this morning, so school for me. *sigh* School is so boring. Lunch is okay, mind you, because I have (as Speller said) "so many male bitches that work" for me. ^__^
I've been doing a lot of drawing since I got those pens. It's scary... can't wait to get more! ^__^ I also gotta get me some 10 X 15 paper, 'cause that's the standard comic size. I don't feel up to fighting with printers because the size ratio on 8.5 X 11 is uneven. Screw it. I'll just redo it all on standards.
I'm having the straaangest breakfast. Pork chops. Don't ask me, it was the only thing I could find...
Song of the moment: "Cruel Angel's Thesis (Harmonia Remix)" from Evangelion. *slobbers* I forgot what a COOL remix this is!!!
Meg's Art Corner Ben Carter, looking cute and vaguely distant! (Hey, he's a Blink fan, too!) Mark makes a scarilly cute girl. o_O Appearently, so does Lucas. Onna-Cam makes me think of Rally from Gunsmith Cats for some reason.... How cliché.
Over and out!
( 5:30 PM )   Nah nah naaaah! Meg has Sympatico access!!
Anyway, Meg also got herself some niiiiice grey prismacolor pens yesterday! Meg drew some pretty pretty pictures with them, too! Meg is happy, so she is!
Meg's Art Corner With her new prismacolors in hand, Meg is proud to present her latest creations! Angelique, the evil evil bitchy whore of a Demon from AH. She's pretty, tho. ^_^; "Legacy of the Messiah" cast shot; Rukura, Lucifer, and Pandora as kids! Carter and Lucas, a strange relationship these doods have. Carter looks somewhat like Cam, doesn't he? Quoik, Meg's only fae kyara!!
( 2:25 PM )   Tiredtiredtiredtired....
At the Office Place, they have a set of 24 prismacolor markers for about 40 bucks. I WANT THEM, but mom says "no, I don't have that kind of money right now". So, what we're gonna do, is I'm gonna drag her to Curry's Art Supplies store in a few hours and see how much THEY'RE selling them for.... maybe she'll buckle and take me back to the Office Place. ^_~
I need grey markers...
...oh, note to all who talk to me at night online. I won't be on until really late 'cause the network will be down. Unless mom hooks us up with Sympatico tonight, I'll be on around 2am. *sniffles* I'm gonna be without my querida fix! *snifflesniffle*
( 8:34 PM )   Lack of bloggingness today, as you all may have noticed. Dunno why, I was home again....
song of the moment: "Under the Bridge" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I *heart* Flea.... what an AMAZING bass player. Too bad this song doesn't showcase him much. If you want good bass by the dood tho, "Californication" is an order.
*cheers* The restrictions to see Hannibal have been changed from R to AA! In other words, I can get in to see it! Heeey, Dan, Amy, Speller, anyone? Wanna come with? I warn y'all, tho, it's been said that this movie is grotesquely violent.
Tomorrow is gonna be a very busy day. I'm going into town with my mom and brother for most of the day, then it's home for a few hours (like, two), and to the mall where I shall meet with Quinn-chan and Chris to go for our ritual Riot Ink business meeting. Then I shall return from the depths of Quinn's anime/transformers shrine of a home and return to my humble lair around midnight. Then I'll prolly talk to my baaaaybeeeeee (aka: querida) for the remainder of the dark hours of the evening.
Oh! Celeb Jeopardy! Two of my faaaaavourite doods were on there! Seth Green from various shows such as Buffy, and Steven from the Barenaked Ladies! DOOD! And Seth has his hair buzzed in sooooo damn short that he looks bald. 0_o
Kick ass! 3 Doors Down are playing at the Warehouse on March 11, and tickets are only $27... man, I wanna GOOOOO!!!
( 12:37 PM )   For Whom the Bell Tolls by Metallica Make his fight on the hill in the early day Constant chill deep inside Shouting gun, on they run through the endless grey On the fight, for they are right, yes, by who's to say? For a hill men would kill, why? They do not know Suffered wounds test there their pride Men of five, still alive through the raging glow Gone insane from the pain that they surely know
For whom the bell tolls Time marches on For whom the bell tolls
Take a look to the sky just before you die It is the last time you will Blackened roar massive roar fills the crumbling sky Shattered goal fills his soul with a ruthless cry Stranger now, are his eyes, to this mystery He hears the silence so loud Crack of dawn, all is gone except the will to be Now the will see what will be, blinded eyes to see
For whom the bell tolls Time marches on For whom the bell tolls
( 12:17 PM )   Okay, today's guest BMB is quite good. ^__^
*points out the window* Heehee, a mini-plow!! *giggles*
song of the moment: "Sunny Came Home" by Shawn Colvin (so sue me, I like this song... ).
( 12:08 PM )   Why is it on days that it's not supposed to snow, it snows the most? We've gotten about 13 cm since last night and it's still coming down... -_-;
song of the moment: "For Whom the Bell Tolls" by Metallica. Heeheehee....makes me think of AH. I shall post the lyrics on here later.
( 7:42 AM )   The Wheel of Excitement on Neopets loves me... I just won another 10 000 np. O_O       ( 7:35 AM )   Morning blog!
Here I am, killing time while I wait for either mom to call me or for me to call mom. Stupid morons in Wal-Mart, you call the main office and ask to be patched through to Electronics, and they put you on hold and hang up on you. Figures, it was mom's boss that just did that to me. Moron.
I got slim to no sleep last night due to sickness. Man, do I hurt... I feel like my guts are being put into a dryer's spin cycle constantly. And after drinking 3 L of cranberry juice, I'm not too good right now. I'm kinda waiting for mom to call so I can ask her what to do... I dunno if I should stay home or go to school. I bet I'm missing a fair bit. Well, there's always Fiona and Harpreet to ask. ^_^;;
I bet Dan's gonna kill me if I'm off another day. Mike's prolly beaten him up a few times by now without me there.
*drums her fingers* Mom, I asked you to phone me... you've got 10 minutes, and then I phone YOU....and hope I don't get hung up on...
Oh! BmB's on it's guest week. Y'know, with guest artists doing the panels. I'm not liking it too much. Yesterday's was a tad too blunt, with not enough joke 'ahind it. Maybe next time, I'll try for a guest spot on there. I'd be sure to do something involving Cy and Skids. I love Cy and Skids. ^__^
I'm running very low on straight kyara. Querida manages to turn them all gay! *shakes her head* Bennett, Lucas, Rukura, Sy.... who next? *turns to Tiirak* Dood, you're not gay are you? Tiirak: No way. Meg: You sure?? Tiirak: Yes, I'm sure. Meg: *looks suspicious*
Mommie bought me the Silence of the Lambs yesterday. It's such a good movie, and all the better if you've read the book. The casting for the movie is very good, too... Jodie Foster makes such a cute Clarice Starling. It really pisses me off that Julianne Moore is playing Clarice in Hannibal (which comes out tomorrow, check your local listings ^_~). She is SO not Starling material. But as long as Sir Anthony Hopkins is still good ol' Hannibal Lecter the Cannibal, I'll watch it.
*calls Mom* Wow, I got through....!!! Maybe that's because I cheated and used the associates-only code. How would I know THAT? 9.9
Looks like I get to stay home again today... *feh* Boredom and a half. Amy, if you're home, feel free to phone me or something.
Over and out!
( 10:50 PM )   Yeeeeeeeee! Querida can read my mind and alter my dreamstate!!!!
No one should have to drink 2 litres of cranberry juice in 5 hours. x_X
( 9:21 AM )   Morning blog!
I'm home sick! And it's only the 4th day of semester 2. Seems that whatever the hell was wrong with me before is wrong with me again... pain hurts, you know. T_T;
I've not much to say today... doesn't that suck when you wanna say something but you're outta' stuff to say?
OH!!! GOOD NEWS! AH Issue one is officially coming along WELL! Looks like I won't have to go to version 16... ^___^
( 9:32 PM )   Rukura and Lian... I got bored and messed around with PC Paintbrush...       ( 6:41 PM )   *looking from her cat CC to her mug of hot chocolate* CC is staring at the marshmellows like they're evil..... *inches away*       ( 6:29 PM )   The Angel Hunter church stainglass window...?       ( 4:00 PM )   Okay, I know.... I didn't blog this morning. I was running mighty late. I had to hop fences to get to school. ^_^;;;
What did I do today? Not much. I got yelled at three times and nearly booted out of my history class (why? for drawing! >.<;;), and I nearly fell asleep in comm tech. Thankfully, Mr. Dewitte let us out early.
The layouts for pages 1-4 of AH have been redone. This is version 15... and I'm LIKING it! FINALLY!
Heeey, imouto! Mercutio was the best kyara in that play. I also liked Benvolio, he was cool too (my once-best-friend Brittany took to calling me 'Volio 'cause I liked him so much). Mercutio, tho, had one hell of an attitude, and he was interesting and VERY funny. Too bad he had to die... I'm glad you liked the little snippet. Allow me to post another, just for you! ^__^ This is another bit I quite like.
Benjamin found it facinating to watch him, he was so calm and so... well, he was the very picture of freedom as far as he was concerned. Yes, that was it. Benjamin admired Lokistrant's blasé attitude towards life. Envy, almost.
When one night, Lokistrant was late on his ritual visits to the plantation, Benjamin worried. Could he have been hurt?.... no. This was Lokistrant. He didn't GET hurt. But maybe he just didn't want to see him anymore?
Abandonment. A reoccurring issue. His throat felt dry suddenly. He curled up on his bed, blond hair over his eyes, and wished for morning, when he KNEW that Lokistrant would not come. No second guessing when daylight was involved.
Minutes passed. And quite unexpectedly, Lokistrant was there, startling the boy. Leaning against the far wall, watching quietly, decked out in his usual dark reds and silvers. Benjamin sat up. "How long have you been there? You scared me!"
Lokistrant smiled his usual enigmatic smile, the impression of fangs something no longer unexpected. "Carter, deepest apologies for being so late." The smile was kind, but the voice was final, the tone stating that there was to be no questions asked. Lokistrant held out his hand to the boy. "Care to come with me into town for a while?"
( 7:45 AM )   Morning Blog, part II
Oh! I saw Cast Away over the weekend! It's SO good! Tom Hanks is a surprisingly good actor... I mean, who else can get away with talking to a volleyball so convincingly? And we all know that Amy likes to imagine him naked (Tom, not the volleyball). You should all go see it! NOW!!!! That's an order!
Heehee, now a little quote for fun from a story I am going to re-write.
Benjamin stared across the table at the stranger, worried. The man seemed in his twenties, if that, and had long brown hair that spilled over his shoulders and down his back. His eyes were an unnatural ruby red, and they were very intelligent eyes. Benjamin had learned early in life to be cautious, especially with the smarter ones.
The man crossed his hands on the table in front of him, casual. "Benjamin Carter, correct?"
Benjamin could dect a vague, though unrecognizable, accent. "Yes sir."
"You're fifteen?"
"Yes sir."
"Such a shame to see someone so young forced into... what you're familiar with."
Benjamin sunk down in his chair. "Why are you here? Why did you pull me away from papa?"
To match Benjamin's withdraw from the table, the man leaned forward, and smiled. Benjamin could have sworn he saw fangs. "You remind me of someone."
( 7:22 AM )   Morning blog!
Man, do I feel WEIRD this morning. I'm not sure why, exactly, but I just feel weird. I dunno. I think a certain spiritie dood slept in my bed with me last night.... *points at Bennett* 'Cause I actually slept.
Last night, during a particularly good RP, my ISP died and wouldn't let me back on. I wasn't happy. It was getting SO good, too... *pouts*
I'm so quickly out of things to say.... ^____^;;
O'er an' out!
( 11:17 AM )   Meg's random contemplations I'm considering re-writing Carter's story, which ties in with a fair bit of Lucas' story. Been considering it for a while... Carter's got some serious problems, and he's fun to write because he's so screwed up. He's got a really weird past. His dad was SUCH a jerk.... and up until becoming a vampire, Carter was good little Bennie; never had the nerve to fight his father. *ponders* It's an interesting story. Maybe I'll start on it again after I get home from seeing Cast Away....       ( 10:56 PM )   Okay, people, special announcement!!!!!!! Congrats to Bennett and niichan on the birth of their daughter, Candra Arael Bennett! ^___^       ( 3:32 PM )   Woohoo! I got switched from Casement's class to Apostolou's class! Hooray!!! And I am already SO ahead of all the people in my comm tech class. I seem to be the only one who knows how to use Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, Publisher, and Premier, as well as Quark and a few other programs. Damn, am I ahead. *_*       ( 7:36 AM )   Morning blog!
Wow, I only slept 3 hours and I feel okay.... *falls out of her chair laughing at today's BmB* Cy and Skids are a riot! I hope they do turn out as a couple! *laughing*
New semester starts today. I'm not too happy about this, as I have history and math this semester, and history is my homeroom class. With Mr. Casement. *cries* NOOOO!!! If I get called by my last name ONCE in his class, I'm gonna commit suicide (okay, not really).
My room is now a nice shrine of large wall hangings. On the walls around my bed, I have three Card Captor Sakura wallscrolls (two anime, one manga), and one kick-ASS Prozzak Saturday People promo poster. Thank you, John. *smilesmilesmile*
On Neopets, I am neopoor. Looks like my pets are gonna be eating at the soup kitchen a lot. -_-;
Meg's Art Corner! I know, I've not done much in the way of art lately. You know what's weird? I tend to draw more in school than at home. I think it's because I'm around so many people. Cam's SD Panther form, doodled in MS Paint. I was bored, okay? And it DID turn out cute. Part of my MS Paint family portrait. I still have to finish the pictures for John and Dani, and the kids too if I have enough willpower after screwing around with the stupid program afterwards.
Song of the moment: "When Doves Cry (Fatboy Slim remix) by Depeche Mode and Prince. I love this... don't ask me why. ^_^;
Quote of the moment: "Listen sister, if I want your opinion, I'll BEAT it out of you!" -- Elvira, Mistress of the Dark
Okay, that's it for now. Ja matta ne! *disappears in purple smoke*
( 12:38 PM )   Song of the moment: "Misere by Andrea Bocelli and John Miles. I have a very....expansive taste in music. So sue me. *sings along*       ( 11:45 AM )   To Chris-kun: Dooood, I don't hate you, and I'm not mad at you..... jus' chill, man. S'your blog, you can say what's on your mind...
I got my pretty pretty new cladagh ring in the mail yesterday! *kisses said ring* Mi querida gave it to me!! Isn't that sweet? ^__^
I have come to the conclusion that Cam would make a really scary bad guy. Like, not c3... but if CAM were bad. He'd be scary. I mean, he's already got some issues with where his loyalty lies... and he's pretty much infinite in power. Not to mention, after being killed about 200 times, I think he knows the painful ways to kill people. Wonder if niichan (currently my neechan) sees this? Well, at least now he knows about Cam's possibilities for becoming nothing more than a lethal weapon.
I have three neopets! My blue wocky named Cadence, my green shoyru named Lokistrant, and my yellow eyrie Poyania! ^__^
"My December" is © Linkin Park. The art is mine. Don't take. Information on the layout is thus; this is Damien McKinnley, a character of mine whom I've been roleplaying for a little over a year now. He's Simon McKinnley's oldest child, and he's kinda angsty and depressive. Art done in paintchat and added some snow in Photoshop.
Name: Meg Graham AKA: DJ Rabid Armadillo Age: 17 Birthday: May 1st Identifies as: a depressive and obsessive compulsive bisexual artist and writer Hair: black Eyes: grey Bands: Depeche Mode, Iron Maiden Movies: Fight Club, Velvet Goldmine, Hedwig and the Angry Inch Books: As I Lay Dying, Harry Potter, Fight Club, A Clockwork Orange, and the Repairman Jack series. Anime: Fruits Basket, Kare Kano Manga: Fruits Basket, Kare Kano Artists: Takaya Natsuki, H.R Giger, Tony, Firefly Family: Tony, Julian, Dora, Poe, Mina Lives for: Firefly, art, music
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chiisana-sukima · 7 years ago
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Would you say it's fair to assume that even though Sam and Dean are soulmates, the concept w/in the universe isn't exactly positive? Outside of Sam and Dean we have 2 examples of the destructive power losing a soulmate can have to the other partner (John and Amelia), so I don't feel the universe of the show even believes soulmates are "good". It seems to me they're just meant to tie people together, most commonly to secure angelic vessel bloodlines. Just my 2 cents. What do you think?
The way it seems to me, it hasn’t been a huge, important thread running through SPN as a whole or anything, but that where it was used in Dark Side of the Moon and in er… I forget the episode title, was it Angel Heart?… anyway, in those two episodes it appeared to me that it was being used for very different narrative purposes. With John and Mary, I wasn’t even aware they were supposed to be soulmates, so I’ll have to beg out on that one.
I think in the case of Amelia and Jimmy it was used narratively as a device to wrap up Jimmy’s story and give him a conventional happy ending after death (i.e. basically as a fixit for The Rapture), so that Cas could move forward with his story without the burden of guilt about Jimmy hanging over his head. To me personally, it was only moderately successful in that regard, but that’s an entirely different post. In any event though, I think it was meant to be seen as primarily positive and probably more or less within the romantic trope reading of ���two people who are meant to be together forever because they are so perfect for one another”. I think at the end of the episode, we were supposed to feel happy for Jimmy and Amelia and feel like they had a good outcome even though they both died.
It is certainly true though that, as you say, while Jimmy and Amelia were separated, it didn’t do Amelia any favors in how she conducted herself in relation to her other responsibilities in life. I don’t recall the point being made outright that it was because she and Jimmy were soulmates that she looked for him obsessively to Claire’s detriment, but for sure it’s not inconsistent with how the rest of SPN has framed love as something that is frequently destructive.
As far as Dark Side of the Moon goes though, yeah, my very strong impression is that in the universe Kripke was building, nothing about Heaven or angels or God or fate, with perhaps the exception of Joshua and his Garden, was meant to be positive. My personal feeling is that Kripke was writing a particular story, that ended at the end of Swan Song, and it wasn’t one that put a very high value on happiness in the sense of having nice, enjoyable feelings and comfort. Kripke’s happy ending, in my view, was that people, as represented by Sam and Dean and Cas, are able to overcome the forces that make free will difficult, if they’re willing to struggle enough for it, and do what is healthy for them and needs to be done. Kripke’s ending, after all, was Cas dead, Sam gone to eternal torture, and Dean alone in a life he didn’t really want but would do the best he could with because he promised.
So if we’re talking about ships here, and what soulmates mean for ships, I think they’re really just not that relevant. Kripke wasn’t writing a show that was primarily about romance. He was writing- in my view- a show about the tragedy and power of being human.
Even beyond ships, framing soulmates as “good” or “bad” in that context is a little complicated in my view, because I think he meant them to be good, just not necessarily happy- in much the same way even a bad family is “good” because it’s still the source of life, and a tragic life is still a “good” life because it’s still a life, or a love that ends in enmity or tragedy is still a “good” love on some level, because love and intimacy are just the center of being human, even when that’s terrible.
Sorry if that all seems way more complicated and roundabout than what you were actually asking. If, as I am kind of guessing but not sure, you’re asking do I think Dark Side of the Moon meant Sam and Dean belong together or not (possibly either with Cas, or to the exception of a relationship between Dean and Cas), I guess I’d say no, I think it meant Sam and Dean have some sort of central unbreakable tie, but that SPN as a whole (and especially within the context of the first 5 seasons), in it’s better moments, supports the idea that one’s ties are important, both for good and ill, but not the be all and end all of one’s life.
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thoughts-in-a-moon-crater · 5 years ago
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(this whole ordeal got me analyzing things shot by shot whenever possible now... so as i'm rewatching things,)
9. in TSiP, there's a TON of light purple/lilac overlays anytime there's john and sherlock. reminds me of the theme colour for john and mary's wedding in TSo3. seems to me the colour of wedding/reunion/celebration has been established and laid bare in the first episode of john/sherlock first meeting... mrs hudson wore a purple dress top like the bridesmaids when she welcomes the two the first time. what could this be suggesting? :)
10. in TBB sherlock accesses john's laptop to use the email (although he has his own laptop and phone... wonder why he actually uses john's laptop). anyway, john quickly snatches back his laptop while sherlock is in the middle of typing an email, which means he has not logged out, which means unless sherlock 'logs out of all devices' through his laptop/phone/other device, john would have access to his emails (and in this modern day, that also means ALL connected accounts). remember, earlier sherlock also (very gently and sweetly, tho i may be biased) let john to use his card for shopping, which john takes out of sherlock's wallet himself. maybeeee it's me but it seems to me by the SECOND episode sherlock and john have practically established trust and laid bare their vulnerability (at least very much for sherlock but not so much for john as sherlock actually goes out on his own way to pry into john's privacy). then we have the 'he's my friend/colleague' at the bank and 'that (a date) was what i was suggesting'. i find this funny because earlier in TSiP sherlock pretty much reads that john is flirting with him with his 'married to my work' comment but then afterwards he consistently tries to get closer almost flirting (and attached) to john and then sulks his way out in TGG when he has a little 'domestic' with john over the solar system or something (which is also absurd in my view because as much as sherlock doesn't care about the solar system, his laptop wallpaper as he googles the ancient vases IS A BLUE-RED GRADIENT OF A GALAXY, ALMOST AS IF JOHN (who is always associated with blue-red for some reason even on his wedding flower brooches....) IS SHERLOCK'S UNIVERSE. HUH). maybe when i have the energy i'll edit this out with snapshots but i just need to point out how sherlock's blue night pajama dress thingy(?) is slightly off his left shoulder when he gets up from the couch to see john leaving from the window... and THEN by the end of the episode we have a 'you... ripping my clothes off in a darkened swimming pool people might talk' pose....... okay what a parallel here. but sherlock doesn't care what people think, except what john thinks. whaaat is going onnnnn
also if i could give some emotional context... i am VERY open about stuff like my mental health etc but when one of my colleagues offered to share with me a subscription account, i haven't gotten back to them and probably never will because that feels too vulnerable to me and i am not ready to be attached that way with someone i don't trust enough to accept me for what i am, genuinely, no matter how much they said they will, not without specifics. that's how unguarded yet guarded i am and so i relate to both john and sherlock's personal level of privacy
11. also, i've always noticed this red thread sewn on the upper left side of sherlock's coat. what i've heard so far (at least from watching anime), a red string sorts of symbolizes a soulmate connection. and that string is placed near his heart? i wonder if there's something worth looking into this one, still.
12. also in TSiB,
john: (after obviously adjusting his pose to get a better angle at sherlock's crotch... in Queen's...) are you wearing any pants?
sherlock: no
john: okay
sherlock: ...
john: ...
sherlock and john: (catches each other's eye contact and bursts out laughing, john never asking sherlock to put his pants on, just a "sherlock forgot his pants" remark)
also john about irene being naked in front of sherlock in her own home: OH GOD ABOVE WTH PUT SOMETHING ON PLEASE HERE'S A NAPKIN
13. in TLD, sherlock says he has planted the recording device into john's stick for 3 weeks now. wonder if the recorder has some sort of a wireless transfer ability that would allow sherlock to basically eavesdrop him throughout the 3 weeks (which is also about a month according to mary - but for john it's "ages" :p). if the recorder does, then sherlock would've known which warehouse john's headed, and might... have been wanting to see john actually? but then it seems like between the revelation of the location and when john arrives there it doesn't seem like there's enough time for sherlock to build up 'shezza', or does he? another thing would be made easier (tho is already possible since sherlock can always deduce things away, especially when he knows john quite intimately) is all his plans 2 weeks prior to the grand entrance at the 'therapist's' place. just a fun thought!
so... johnlock.
my conclusion that is built (and is still building on) a mishmash of theories i've been reading (thanks tjlc-iers) is pretty simple. take note that i'm competently Bad at social cues and subtexts, due to neglect as a child or being autistic - one could wonder, but the point remains. anyway, i've taken interest in the literary analysis somehow (not complaining) and here's what i've got and getting behind so far, without claiming any of this to be the absolute truth:
1. johnlock is real, but they're taking it slow. i love me some slow burns and mutual pining so i'll forgive moffatiss for the agony they're putting me through. it's a cross i'll have to bear
2. mrs hudson is an unrepentant shipper
3. so is mary. i think mary is somewhat an anti-hero, a lil villainous but only coz she's a badass. i think she truly does love john but she also knows that john also loves sherlock, and is fond of teasing john about it. i think mary chooses to take the bullet for sherlock NOT because she wants john to hate him, but because she was prepared (with the video and all) and has got nothing to lose. the video serves as a great evidence to me that mary loves john and wants him to be happy, happier than their married life, and she knows john can have that with sherlock. "i know what you could become" sounds to me what a johnlock shipper would say
4. season 4 wasn't terrible or beyond repair, but it IS beyond me. it's a breakthrough, probably EMP, it was draggy at first and very hard to follow with all the moving out of focus thingy going on throughout the season, it's not taken the usual fast-paced beat for the most part (at least it doesn't feel that way to me). i've only watched it once though, i still don't have the courage to sit through it all again. the emotional mess.
5. i believe in sherlock's second 'i love you' to be about him noticing john's reflection on the black screen of the countdown timer
6. and please can we talk more about the canonly mentioned: that john and sherlock do love each other 'the most in this world', tho they always clump that statement together with another person (i.e. mary), probably just to make it less obvious and focused??
7. i googled the baker street flat's front and it doesn't seem that the windows of the attic (probably where the never-shown john's room is) are similar to that of attic-like room where sherlock meets ella to figure out what to 'do' with john, but isn't it intriguing that out of ALL possible settings for a therapy room, this one sherlock's in resembles an attic?? someone's who's better at subtexts please figure this out for me
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