#regina has kept the show afloat for so long i love her no matter how shitty ouat gets

[spookita]

feeling at home in the world

"I am a forest fire and I am the fire and I am the forest and I am the witness watching it"

Regina, and her relationships with the people she loves, herself included.

[8tracks] [playmoss]

i.- a burnin hill | mitski ii.- i have never loved someone | my brightest diamond iii.- daydreaming | dark dark dark iv.- first day of my life | missolance v.- happy | marina and the diamonds vi.- the noble art of letting go | rebekka karijord vii.- blush | wolfe alice viii.- let you go | katie herzig ix.- signs | spooki x.- werewolf heart | deadman’s bones xi.- it hurts until it doesn’t | mothers xii.- haunted | poe xiii.- i remember | saint saviour xiv.- her breath is the wind | fleetwood mac & sia

[justanoutlawfic]

Legends Are Told: 1/10

Summary: S1 AU. Never underestimate a mother’s love. Ruth took on the darkness to keep her family together. When it begins to fall apart again, she’ll do what she has to in order to stop it…including teaming up with a very vulnerable queen.

This is a S1 AU/Canon Divergence, that will span into two fics. The first part is showing the divergence in the Enchanted Forest, the second will take place after the curse is cast. The ships are as follows: Snow/David, Regina/James, Ruth & Regina foetp, Snow Queen enemies, James & David brothers to enemies and there will be other canon ships sprinkled throughout. Most of the deaths are canon compliant, with the exception of the two in this chapter. This story will focus on many people and ships, this first chapter is just world building.

This story also contains canon pasts, which includes past marital rape and abuse. I will properly tag the chapters as they come.

Also on AO3

For the second time that day, Ruth went to go grab two cloth diapers rather than just one. The boys had always needed changes together.

 Now there was only one of them left.

 Ruth bit her lip, staring down at the bit of cloth between her fingers. She tried to tell herself over and over again that they had made the right choice. There was no way they could afford medicine for two children and soon, they would require more than just her milk to survive. Ruth would starve before she let either of her children go hungry, but that wasn’t going to be enough. The only way to give them both their best chance, was to send one away.

 King George and Queen Serafina had sent a lump sum. They weren’t rich by any means, but it’d help keep the farm afloat until the crops came back in and their animals had babies come spring. Things could be a lot easier, and both boys would be well taken care of.

 That didn’t stop her from missing James more than anything. Every time she walked to the cradle and saw one baby instead of two, she felt a lump grow in her throat. When she sang David a soft lullaby to get him to sleep, she wondered if James was getting the same. She had never met the king or queen, all she heard were whispers of their rather large age gap. Would they be the ones to raise him, or would it be a nanny?

 She shook it off. He would have a good life, he’d get the best of everything. No matter what, he’d be okay. She had to put his needs above her own.

 Ruth walked over to the cradle and lifted David out, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Do you need a change, my little one?”

The door to the cottage opened, letting in the cool winter air. Robert stomped in, his boots scraping on the floor. “Honey, I’m home.”

Ruth didn’t even have to turn to smell the alcohol that radiated from her husband. It was harder for him to hide it in the winter, he couldn’t afford to leave his coat at the bar like he might a shirt. “Hello.”

Robert walked to the small woodburning stove in the corner. “What’s for dinner?”

“Stew. I went to market earlier. Speaking of which, winter will be over soon. I’ll need to buy supplies for spring. Where did you put the money sent from the king and queen?”

 There was a silence and it was one Ruth knew all too well. Her husband was a terrible liar, he didn’t even attempt to anymore. Whenever he did something wrong, he got very quiet. Ruth turned around, holding David closer to her chest.

 “Robert? What did you do?”

“A few pirates came through the bar tonight,” he replied, softly. There was no guilt in his voice, but he sounded like a child that knew he was about to get in trouble. “They brought their dice.”

Ruth’s grip on the baby grew and she knew he was the only thing preventing her from screaming. “How much did you lose?”

“I figured I could double it! We’d be richer in no time, give David just as much as the king and queen are giving James!”

“Robert,” she took a step forward. “How much did you lose?”

He paused. “All of it.”

 Ruth felt her knees buckle. They had done this to protect the boys, both of them. It would give them both their best chance. Both would get medicine, food and have a stable place to live. It was only worth it, because it was for both of them. Ruth had done the most painful, selfless thing of her life.

 Robert had turned around and destroyed it within a matter of moments.

 They owed so much money and this would put a dent into it, while the rest was supposed to go into refurbishing the farm so they could pay off the remainder. They had gone over every piece of silver, it was planned out so carefully. Ruth’s father was a business man, a shoemaker, so she had learned that from him. Robert had insisted that he should be in charge of the money, he was the man after all.

 How could she have been so stupid to trust him with it?

 Ruth found herself sinking onto the bed and Robert went to take David from her, but she pulled away. She didn’t want him touching the baby, he didn’t deserve to touch him. Not after what he had just done.

 Ruth had agreed to marry Robert because of a business deal. Her father had been approached by Nigel, a man that was less successful with great ideas and little funds, or so he said. Nigel had said that if Ruth’s father combined businesses with his own, he would allow his son to marry Ruth. It was no secret that Ruth was getting older and was considered an old maid. Her father wanted her to marry for love, but at the same time, worried about her greatly. Ruth knew that expanding her father’s business would be for the best and Robert was charming, what would it hurt?

 Things went wrong almost instantly. They had used some of the money her parents’ had given her to put a down payment on the farm. The rest, Robert instantly gambled and drank away. If Ruth tried to confront him about it, she’d get screamed at or smacked. Later, he’d be a totally different person. He was apologetic, caring and said he’d do anything to make her happy. That was the only reason the twins were even conceived, as a promise for a better life.

 Ruth had grown up a lot over the past couple of years. She no longer believed her husband’s promises and was just trying to focus on doing the best for her sons…or son, as was the current situation. Now, she couldn’t even do that.

 “You shouldn’t have come home,” she whispered.

“Ruth…”

“I can’t do this without you.” Her voice was hallowed, tired. “I can’t run a farm and raise a child on my own, so I can’t ask you to leave. I have no money to escape on my own. If you had just not come home…that would’ve hurt a hell of a lot less.”

“You’re acting mad.”

Ruth looked up into his eyes. “We gave up one son, to save the other and you made this all for nothing. My pain, my sadness, all I thought was at least James and David would be safe. Now, I can’t do that for him.”

“We’ll find a way…”

“I stopped believing your lies a long time ago.” She rose to her feet. “I’m sleeping up in the loft tonight, with David. Dinner’s on the stove.”

 She turned her back on him and carried him up to the tiny loft. Ruth kept it together as she changed David’s diaper and settled down on the tiny bed made of straw that was set up for when David was old enough, if he even lived to childhood.

 For the first night she since gave up James, Ruth didn’t cry. There were no more tears left, no more sadness. All she felt, was anger.

News of Queen Serafina’s death spread throughout the kingdom just four weeks after Robert gambled away the last of their money. He had done his best to make up for it, selling the last of the jewelry they had (bar her wedding ring). They didn’t get much, but it’d be enough to not lose the farm at least. James was still too young to understand any of it, but it broke Ruth’s heart.

 On a trip to town a few months later, there were whispers that the young prince had bruises at the last outing. The boys were getting old enough to learn to walk, so Ruth didn’t think too much of it. All kids got bumps and bruises. Then there was talk of a handprint on the child’s face. No one dared to say anything to the king, they knew that they’d be executed.

 Ruth’s blood boiled at the thought of her baby boy, not even a year old, being abused by the king. She had heard only good things beforehand. How could she have let this happen? No amount of money or food, were going to make up for the bruises he was going through. How could she, as a mother, allow her son to go through something like that? If Robert even laid a hand on David, she’d make sure it was the last thing he ever did. Robert could do whatever he wanted to her, but he was not going to hurt their son.

 What could she possibly do to George? Even if she just tried to take James, there would be no possible way that she’d get past the guards. She had a knife, that wouldn’t hold a candle to their swords. She was powerless to change either of their situations.

 Her days began to blur together. She cared for David, tended to the crops and the animals as winter turned to spring. Ruth returned to her bed with Robert, but they barely looked each other in the eye, let alone talk. He returned to drinking, though his gambling had come to a halt it’d seem. He did little to help with David or the farm, but Ruth couldn’t bring herself to care. She felt as though she was going through the motions of life, like she couldn’t even enjoy her own child.

 Then Rumpelstiltskin came to the village. He was meeting with someone to make a deal. Ruth avoided him like the plague, regretting the day he ever came to her. As she stood in line at the fruit stand, trying to balance David while also seeing if she had enough to buy him an orange, two women whispered in front of her.

 “I wonder what he’s doing here.”

“I know he’s got magic and yeah, it makes him scary, but he used to be one of us.” The second woman lowered her voice even more. “I heard he was once destitute; his son was almost forced to join the Ogre Wars. He killed the original Dark One.”

“Seriously?”

 Ruth looked down at David, who was reaching up to try to take her hair out of her bun. Rumpelstiltskin had started all of this, to protect his son. He had done what was necessary, become a terrible person, in the name of family.

 She couldn’t do it, it was going too far...wasn’t it?

It was a three-day trip to the Dark One’s castle. Ruth debated on whether she should bring David with her, but in the end, she trusted a woman on a neighboring farm with him. Robert didn’t even question how she got the money to get new supplies, which she had been counting on. Her hose was loyal and got her there in the dead of night. She was down to her last match to light up her lantern. If this didn’t work, she was screwed on the way home.

 It had to work.

 Ruth was surprised at how easy it was to get inside the castle. There were no magic booby traps, just a long dark hall. She made her way down, the lantern lighting the way. She poked her head into every room, but came up empty. It wasn’t until she reached the stairs that she realized how stupid this was. This man could kill her.

 Suddenly, her lantern blew out and the chandelier was lit. Ruth spun to find Rumpelstiltskin standing there, his eyes glistened with glee. His skin was just as sparkly, even in the dim lighting of the hall.

 “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the shepherdess. Here to make a deal to give away your other son?”

Ruth drew a deep breath, taking a step forward. “Quite the opposite actually. I want James back.”

“You made a deal, Dearie. Once you make one with me, they’re iron clad.”

“George is abusing him.” Ruth took a step forward. “Please, I know you’re a parent.” The Dark One’s eyes widened a tad, though he quickly regained composure. “I need to protect my son.”

“It’s too late for that. Unless you want to make another deal with me.”

 Ruth bit her lip, her hand shakily going to her side satchel. Retrieving her knife, she took a step forward and plunged it forward. Rumpelstiltskin looked down at it, then up at her.

 “I liked you for your moxie.”

Ruth tilted her head. “I thought…to become the Dark One, you have to kill the Dark One.”

“Dearie, Dark Ones cannot be killed. If they could, I would’ve been murdered a long time ago.”

“But you killed the original Dark One! How?”

“That is for me to know and…well, I’d say for you to find out, but let’s be honest, you’re never going to.”

 Rumpelstiltskin put a hand up and Ruth could feel herself losing air. She looked around, gasping for breath, wondering if that was how David and James felt without their medicine. She looked at the man who she had once agreed to make a deal in, taking in his scaly skin, along with his fine clothing. He had something attached to his hip, a blade.

 He released his grip and she caught her breath rather quickly, though she put on a great show as he took a step forward, his hand reaching for her chest. Ruth was a bit quicker and she grabbed the blade. Rumpelstiltskin went to grab it, but she held up her free hand, reading his name inscribed on it.

 “Stop.”

 Ruth’s eyes widened when he obeyed. A slow smile appeared on her face.

 “This is it, isn’t it?” She asked. “This is what can take your power?”

“That is a highly dangerous tool…”

“This…this has all the power. You’re nothing but a mirage.”

“Oh trust me, Dearie, you have no idea the powers I have.”

“Freeze!”

 Ruth had never enjoyed the pain of others, but suddenly, she felt a sick perversion with her new toy. Who was she becoming? How was this happening to her?

 Maybe if she hadn’t lost everything before, she would’ve given it a bit more thought.

 “I am going to get my son back, I’m going to save them both from a lifetime of pain and poverty alongside with it.”

“Please,” Rumpelstiltskin pleaded, his voice drastically changing. “You have no idea what this does to a person. I lost my son because of this magic. It’s not going to save them, it’s going to destroy them.”

“You have everything.”

“But not my son, do you see him around?”

“A mother’s love can override the darkest of magic.”

“I thought that about a father’s.”

“Well…”

 Ruth took a step forward, plunging the dagger into his stomach.

 “I guess we’ll have to see which one of us is right.”

 Ruth didn’t feel anything different, in fact, she wouldn’t have thought nothing really happened. Until Rumple let out a tiny whimper and the blood poured from his chest. Ruth could hear some twisting and tightening beneath his skin. She slowly removed the dagger from his skin and watched as his name faded away, four smooth cursive letters taking its place.

 Ruth

Ruth used her newfound powers to arm herself and poof to King George’s castle. The adrenaline that pumped through her veins was enough to keep her from thinking of what she had just done. With a flick of a wrist, every guard was brought to their knees. She had that power, her.

 Robert would never be able to hit her again.

 When she made it up to the nursery, she found an older woman rocking her fussing son. “Let his mother take over,” she told her.

 The woman looked up in shock, but Ruth was able to get James in her arms with another flick of the wrist. The 1-year-old looked up at her, confused, and she caressed his cheek. He and David were truly identical, but any mother could tell her children apart. She kissed his forehead and cuddled him close.

 “Don’t worry, Jamie, Mommy’s here.”

“What the hell is going on in here?” Ruth turned, George staring at her in shock. “And who the hell are you?”

“James’ mother.”

 Ruth drew her sword and for the second time that night, she killed a man. It probably should’ve scared her, that it was much easier than the first time. Yet all she could do, was stare down at her son.

 “Come on, sweetheart, let’s go home.”

Robert was taken care of with a simple choice. She offered him death or freedom, with the condition that she never show his face again. A true father might have tried to fight, but Robert took off without a question. Ruth watched as James and David stared at each other in a mix of curiousness and amazement. She ran her fingers through their fair blonde curls, cuddling them close in her arms.

 “Don’t you worry boys, Mommy is never going to let you go again.”