#references to bynar

[geneeste]

Stargate SG-1 Fic: reclaim (the destiny rules remix) (1/1), Teen

Sam/Jack. This isn't actually a new fic. I'm updating my Tumblr fanfic page and realized that I'd never actually put this on here, so here we are!

@amaradangeli asked me what I would write if I could make an alternate ending to Forfeit. Well, here it is. Thanks for waiting an embarrassingly long time for it. <3

Because this fic is very different from Forfeit, I'm considering it a remix. You don't have to read Forfeit to understand this one (and mind the warnings of that fic if you do decide to read it).

Many sincere thanks to @sharim28 for the beta. She's wonderful. Any remaining mistakes are my own.

-----

She’s supposed to be on vacation by now.

She’s been thinking about a trip on her motorcycle for a month already; her plan is to ride into New Mexico, or maybe Utah. She hasn’t decided yet, but she’s got almost two weeks and this time she doesn’t want to stay at home.

The General asked them to meet in the briefing room at the last minute, and it had only taken minutes for Daniel and the Colonel to start fidgeting and checking their watches. She thinks that Daniel has a conference in Chicago he’s anxious to attend (although she suspects that, like her, he's just ready to get out of Colorado), and she guesses that the Colonel is going fishing. She's stopped asking, and he's stopped telling her.

She’s just about to clear her throat pointedly at the Colonel’s incessant tapping when the General walks into the room with a folder in his hand. The look on his face as he sits has her mentally kissing her Indian goodbye.

Apparently the Colonel has the same impression. "Sir..." His tone is borderline insubordinate, but that's normal.

A corner of the General's mouth turns up, but he sounds regretful. "I'm sorry, Colonel. The Redalians are asking for a renegotiation of the mining rights agreement."

To her left, Daniel sighs. "Why?"

"Their planting season is approaching. They've noticed some unanticipated runoff on their fields from the nearby naquada mines, and they're concerned that it will adversely affect crop growth."

Daniel's ready to go, but it's obvious he can understand the Redalians' concerns. "They want us to shift our mining operations before the season starts?" At Hammond's nod, Daniel sighs. "That sounds reasonable. But?"

She pipes up then. "But our surveys so far show the naquada deposits are concentrated in one area. We've been taking samples from areas outside the city, but so far we haven't discovered any deposits large enough to warrant mining."

"So setting up shop somewhere else isn't an option, then?" The Colonel asks, brows raised.

"No," the General replies. "In the meantime, the Redalians have shut down the mining operation, effectively cutting off one of our largest sources of naquada."

"Which has the Pentagon up in arms,” the Colonel finishes. Sardonically enough that she has to smile down at the table.

"Yes. We're agreeing to immediate negotiations in the hopes that we can resume operations as soon as possible."

Beside her, Daniel is leaning forward. "Where do we fit in?"

"SG-1 was the team who negotiated the original agreement, so you're the most familiar with the situation."

She's suppressing another grin as the General raises his hand to forestall whatever the Colonel is about to say. "However, because it's been some time since SG-1 as a team has had downtime, I'm assigning SG-2 to the negotiations. Having said that, I'd still like one of you to accompany them to the proceedings."

"General"-

"Colonel, the Redalian leadership knows you. They trust you. SG-2 is very capable of handling this, but I believe the presence of a member of SG-1 at the negotiations would make them more comfortable with whatever compromise we reach. Since Teal'c has already left to visit his son, that leaves one of you."

The General taps his papers on the table as he rises. "SG-2 leaves this afternoon at 1500. I'll leave it to your discretion to decide who will accompany them."

He says the last to the Colonel, and leaves the three of them standing in the briefing room. The Colonel looks at Daniel first.

"No." Daniel says firmly.

The Colonel just continues to stare. "You're the best qualified for this thing."

“Jack, I’ve already bought the tickets.”

She watches the Colonel watch the rest of his team. For a moment his eyes settle on her and she’s afraid that he’s going to order her to go.

But then he sighs heavily and shoves his hand through his hair. “Okay, no one wants to give up their downtime. I say we draw straws.”

It’s a reasonable solution to their problem. “Okay,” she relents. “Fair enough, sir.”

Daniel’s not as gracious. “Fine.” He sounds annoyed, and the bite in his voice tells her just how desperate he is to get it over with.

Colonel O’Neill disappears down the hall.

Daniel moves wordlessly to the window to stare at the stargate. She glances at him out of the corner of her eye, and tries to think of something to say that will make peace while they wait. “What’s in Chicago?”

“A three-day conference on Egyptology.”

She can’t help but raise her eyebrows. “Only three days? What do you plan to do with the other seven?”

“I don’t know, Sam. Go to the museums. Do some writing. Relax. Something completely unrelated to the stargate.”

The belligerence in his voice makes her blink in surprise. “Okay. I’m sorry.” She means it, although she’s not sure for what exactly she’s apologizing.

He winces as he turns. “No, it’s just”-

“Okay!” The Colonel sweeps into the room, ending whatever it was that Daniel was going to say. “Let’s do this.”

He puts his back to them as he lines up three straws of varied lengths in his hand. When he’s done, he offers them first to Daniel, who picks the last straw.

Sam draws next, and although the Colonel hasn’t revealed the straw he was left with, she knows immediately that she’s lost.

It’s definitely the short straw.

Relieved, Daniel tosses his medium-length straw into the trash. “Well…okay. I’m going to go ahead and go. I’ll see you guys in two weeks.” And then he’s out the door, obviously trying to get out of the mountain before something else comes up.

The Colonel, of course, is grinning. “Cheer up, Carter. This probably won’t take long. Two, three days tops, and then you can go do…whatever it is you do.”

She knows he’s kidding, really she does. But she can’t help but feel like she’s being dismissed, or patronized, or something, and she can’t explain it so she lets it go.

“Yes sir,” she replies on a sigh and watches him leave.

-----

She’s going to have to scream soon. That, or pass out.

She’s on a stretcher, and she can see the top of the stargate as they pass through. She doesn’t know who is carrying her, but she doesn’t really care as long as they stop moving soon.

She catches a glimpse of Griff to her left – he’s holding a bandage to his ear, which is bleeding so badly it has colored his neck black. He’d been lying next to her when the MALP was hit, and she remembers him trying to pull her out of the path of the blast. She hopes it’s not as bad as it looks.

Janet appears above her, and she tries to blink to get rid of the black dots swimming in the air. Then someone is squirting something wet and cold in her eyes. It burns. She has to squeeze her eyes shut to get them to stop.

She thinks Janet is saying something to her, can see her lips moving, but all she can hear is a weird sort of buzzing that drowns everything else out.

She feels herself being lifted onto something soft, a gurney maybe, and they are sliding her over and she’s going to scream soon. There’s a hand tugging at her arm, one at her good knee, and hands at her neck, and they’re turning her onto her side.

This time she does scream. Loudly. She knows because she can hear it.

She’s moving, and she’s fascinated by the lights as they whoosh above her. Eventually all she can see is the outlines of the people around her and it’s enough to send her into blackness.

Later (it has to be much later because the pain is dull and her face feels clean) she wakes and looks to her left. The Colonel and Teal’c are on the next bed watching her, and Colonel O’Neill pushes away from where he’s sitting on the edge to move over her.

She opens her mouth – she thinks she does – but nothing comes out. So she closes her eyes again.

The next time she wakes it’s because her right side feels like it’s being torn apart. She can feel the pain but she can’t move, and she’s terrified. It’s possible she’s crying, but she can’t be sure.

A long moment passes before Colonel O’Neill appears again, and she feels his hand on her arm, warmly pressing against the inside of her elbow. He’s talking, but not loud enough to push past the buzzing silence. He must figure out that she’s not taking anything in, because he stops and his eyes tighten in a way she’s come to recognize as concern.

He doesn’t move away, and she passes out again as his hand tightens on her elbow.

When she wakes again she knows it’s the last time. She’s not sure how much time has passed, but the infirmary is dark and there’s no movement that she can see. She’s having trouble processing things; she can think and see, but everything is slow and tight, like thread being pulled through closed fingers. She’s not as aware as she should be.

But she still feels his hand on her arm.

He’s in the same place he was before, only this time he’s sitting. His arm is outstretched, and her eyes follow the dips and lines of light along it to where his shoulders are level with the bed. His head is bowed.

She can sense Teal’c somewhere. The charge she always feels around him says he’s close, but she doesn’t see him. Knowing he’s there is enough.

She wants to move, and is surprised at the urge she feels to slide her hand over and into the Colonel’s hair. It’s a kind of comfort she’s never been able to give him. She really wants to give it to him now.

She wants to ask where Daniel is. Wants to take in the affection and passion that she’s always associated with who he is. But she remembers the way he was, and that’s enough too.

She tries to move her arm a little to get the Colonel’s, Jack’s, attention, and is dully surprised at how hard it is to manage just a wiggle.

It works immediately. His head jerks up, and he’s on his feet in a second looking down at her. He says something that she thinks is Carter, but she can’t hear it. She would panic at the knowledge, but the panic would be a waste of this precious energy.

This energy that is unnatural. She’s seen it before, and knows it won’t last.

She thinks: I am going to die. The thought is just there. I am going to die.

She thinks maybe that’s okay. What else is there to do? Maybe she knew it before, before the dark when the lights were rushing by, and then she thinks, before when? Before what? And she doesn’t know anymore.

But Jack is still standing over her, moving his hand to hers. He’s never held her hand before when she was in the infirmary. It makes her cry. She’s not sure if he sees so she tries her best to squeeze his hand, feels him return the pressure.

She can see his eyes, warm and sad. She’s glad for it even as she wishes she didn’t recognize the look in them. She uses up the rest of her energy on a painful smile and hopes he understands what she’s trying to tell him.

She falls asleep.

-—-

The power of an endless explosion sends Sam flying; she falls through the rushing darkness and there’s no sound and no ground and no tether, and she thinks this is dying--

But then there’s warmth, a hand holding hers. An anchor.

She clings to it and the rushing stops.

-—-

She wakes up on a Saturday. Jack is waiting beside her.

So many things happen around her after that, but she’s only vaguely aware of it; her hearing is slightly better in her left ear than when she came through the gate, but it might be completely gone in her right. She thinks her vision is clear but she’s so drugged up it’s hard to tell for sure. In the lulls between doses, agony spreads down her side from her ribs to her knee, and in those moments she wonders if the rushing darkness was a better choice.

Then those moments pass, and the Colonel’s eyes remind her why it wasn’t.

-—-

“Do you remember what I said to you before you left?” Daniel asks her one night, out of nowhere.

He’s sitting in an uncomfortable chair beside her bed, balancing two textbooks and a notebook on his lap, poised for work he’s not actually doing. He’s barely left her bedside since he got back from Chicago, like he’s afraid she’s going to disappear if he’s gone too long.

The days since Sam came back through the gate stretch and bend and turn, and it takes her a minute to even summon the idea of a ‘before.’ When she does, all she can picture is a briefing like they’ve always had, sitting next to Jack like she almost always did, waiting for a go.

“At the briefing?” she asks, wanting to cringe at the dull sound of her own voice.

“After the briefing,” he says. He’s still looking at his books, smoothing the pages down even though there aren’t any creases she can see. “I snapped at you.”

She looks inward, searches for the memory. It takes a while, because things don’t connect like they used to.

There’s a flash and a sting, and there it is. “The museums,” she murmurs. “You wanted to see the museums.”

His hand stills on the page. “Yeah. I wanted to see the museums.”

“Did you get to go?”

Daniel laughs. Or maybe he cries; the two don’t seem so different right now. “No.”

She studies him, the way his shoulders are hunched and he won’t look up. Unbidden, the last thing he said to Sha’re when she was still Sha’re rises in Sam’s mind, a cascade of connections she can’t stop now that they’re formed.

No no, I won’t be long.

She wonders at his fascination with words, at his obsession with having the right words. She wonders if it’s because of the terror that comes with thinking they’ll be the last thing he ever gets to say to a person he loves.

“Maybe when I’m out of here we could go,” she offers gently. She didn’t blame him for his feelings then, and she doesn’t blame him now. “You could give me the tour.”

She watches him swallow, watches him smooth out one last invisible wrinkle before he looks up at her. His eyes are red-rimmed, but bright. “I’d really like that.”

-—-

The day Sam is notified that she’s being medically retired from the Air Force, her father comes home.

They’ve been slowly preparing her for the transfer from the mountain to a VA rehab hospital in town, and now that she’s going to be a civilian soon, it becomes more urgent. Janet and a nurse are helping her sit up unsupported on the edge of the bed for the first time when Jacob appears, the Colonel lagging behind him.

Jacob stalls just short of reaching her, an arm’s length away, and stares.

She hasn’t seen a mirror in days, but she knows how she must look; bandages cover more of her than her gown, and she feels bruised and swollen everywhere she isn’t covered. It’s hard to look Jacob in the eyes, because they speak volumes: shock and sadness and something else she can’t name.

“Hey kiddo.” His voice is barely audible, but she hears it loud and clear: the something else becomes pride, and it’s that pride, more than the agony and the fear and the relentless fatigue, that overwhelms her.

“Dad,” she manages, and then she bursts into tears.

He folds her into his arms, gentle but enveloping, and she lays her head on his shoulder like she did as a little girl. She remembers she used to think he could hold her and the stars all at the same time, and how nothing scary could touch her when he did.

It’s just the same.

It hurts to cry, and she’s so tired, so she takes deep, hiccuping breaths through her tears. When she finally looks up, Janet and the nurse are gone, but the Colonel—Jack, now, for good—is in the same spot, staring at the floor.

-----

She settles into the rehab hospital, at least on the outside. On the inside, she feels more unsettled by the day.

Daniel and Teal’c come by often, so often that Sam wonders if they’re not going off-world at all. Her heart aches when she thinks about them stepping through the Stargate without her, and she’s ashamed to be glad they aren’t, so she doesn’t ask.

Jack visits too, although he never stays long when her father is around. There’s a strange tension between them that they seem unwilling to acknowledge, and she’s too busy trying to understand her new reality to figure out theirs.

Everything feels wrong. She’s finally able to wear something other than a gown, but her clothes don’t fit anymore, baggy in some places and stuffy in others. The bedsheets are both too soft and too scratchy. She’s able to eat more food but it tastes too different from the base infirmary’s. There are too many windows, so her room feels bright and shiny and she doesn’t, and she longs for the cool, unchanging dark of the mountain.

And even though she knows it’s not objectively true, she feels as weak as a baby. She can barely stand on her own, and even then she can't stand up straight because the pain and the pull in her abdomen make her weep. It’s a miracle she didn’t lose her right leg, but it’s near to useless now and even with the best possible outcome of her stay here, it’ll never never be as strong as it was before, function like it did before.

It’s like she slid sideways into an alternate reality, and at any moment she’s going to slide back into the right one, and all of this will be just a weird memory from somewhere she wasn’t supposed to be.

The feeling persists through her first week in the hospital and intensifies during the weeks that follow. She’s pushing and pulling herself through therapy that has her relearning how to do the most basic tasks. It’s exhausting and most of the time she doesn’t know what day it is unless her dad or one of her physical therapists mention it.

One day, several weeks into her stay, Teal’c appears unannounced in her room. He’s so large yet so silent that her physical therapist startles badly when she turns to find him waiting patiently behind her as she finishes up a session.

Teal’c tilts his head, confused by her reaction. The PT excuses herself, flustered, and the scene is just absurd enough that Sam smiles despite herself. Teal’c catches it and his dark eyes warm, and he bows a little in good humor.

For a brief moment, she feels almost normal. But then she tries to stand to greet him, moves too quickly and loses her balance amidst a sharp stab of pain that travels all the way up her side, and she has to stoop, lean back against the bed to catch her breath. Teal’c steadies her with a hand to her good hip, and the moment flees, that frustrating, twirling feeling of wrongness rushing back in to sap the levity away.

It’s just starting to warm up, the fickle Colorado weather teasing a beautiful Spring day, so Teal’c coaxes her outside in that gentle way he has—not imposing, but impossible to resist anyway.

She’s not strong or steady enough for walking aids yet, so he pushes her through the hospital garden in the wheelchair that’s become a sullen companion. She tries to find something in the landscape to ground herself in; some kind of connection, or maybe a sign that her world will right itself somehow.

There’s a storm threatening the horizon, still far away and lingering over the mountains. She watches the lightning jump from cloud to cloud, the waves of translucent gray underneath signaling oncoming rain, as Teal’c parks them in an area that overlooks the rest of the grounds.

He moves to stand beside her, not looking at her, instead following her eyes to the horizon. “You have been troubled for some time.”

She swallows. She doesn’t know what to say to describe it, how displaced she feels in her own mind, her own skin. She shifts restlessly, a half-shrug, hoping he’ll accept her silence instead of an answer.

But it’s Teal’c, and he’s never been afraid of silence in the way that humans often are; he’s always been willing to let others dwell in it if they need to, as long as they need to. He lays his hand on her back, his palm big and warm against her shoulder blade, and she can feel his patience, but also his expectation.

In the distance, the clouds rumble and roll. “This…it just doesn’t feel right,” she replies eventually.

“The hospital? It is my understanding that your stay here is temporary. You will grow stronger, and return home in time.”

“No, I don’t mean here.” She can’t help the frustrated tears that clog her voice. “I mean this,” she gestures angrily at the chair, at a body that will never be the same. “All of this. My life. It feels wrong.”

“I feel like-” she starts, and then stops just as quickly, trying to force out the thing that’s slithered through her thoughts since she woke up in the middle of the night with Jack holding her hand, anchoring her back to a world she’d let go of.

The only way to get it out is to whisper it. “I feel like I’m not supposed to be here.”

Teal’c doesn’t make a sound in reply, and when she can bring herself to look up at him, she sucks in a breath at what she sees. He looks like she’s gutted him.

He steps forward, and when he kneels in front of her wheelchair, she understands what a gift it is. Teal’c, who kneels for no one.

“Samantha Carter,” he tells her, softly enough that she has to lean in and turn her good ear toward him. “You are alive. You are with us.”

He reaches out and presses his fingers under her chin so her eyes are steady on his. “This is where you are meant to be.”

She grabs his hand, presses it against her cheek, closes her eyes. She holds him there for a moment, hoping his certainty will sink into her skin and she’ll believe it too. Then she opens her eyes again, nods, and lets their hands fall into her lap.

They stay like that for a long time, looking out at the mountains, until the storm forces them back inside.

——

Sam starts to dream.

Half the time, it’s not even related to the explosion on Redalia—sometimes she’s 30 floors below the desert clutching a dead little girl, sometimes she’s baking cookies in an empty house. And sometimes it’s just a deep, bottomless darkness enveloping her, cold wind pressing against her back as she descends.

When she wakes, she’s wild-eyed, her heart is racing, and the sheets make her feel claustrophobic. She’s left in bed for hours, staring at the light coming in under her door from the hallway, trying to convince herself that she’s really alive.

One morning following a bad night Jack arrives while she’s settling into the sofa in her room. She’s just walked the short way from her bed with her new forearm crutch, unassisted by her PT. It’s a small thing, but it was something she couldn’t do last week. Despite her fatigue, something finally feels like a victory.

He pauses at the door until she waves him in, and she must look as flushed and pleased as she feels, because he gives her a smile. It’s a rare, genuine one, and warmth spreads over her skin all over again.

“Good morning?” he asks as he sits in the chair beside her.

She nods proudly at the crutch resting against the cushion next to her leg. “I walked over here by myself.”

“That’s great.” Jack studies the crutch, a generic one the hospital provided. “That looks a little too station-wagony for you, though.”

She laughs a little. “I’ll work my way up to the corvette.”

She sighs, massaging her injured leg a little absently, and looks up to find him watching her, his eyes moving over her face.

He must see something there, because he tilts his head. “You okay?”

She shrugs one shoulder. “Just a rough night. Couldn’t sleep.”

He’s still watching her, closely enough that she has to resist the urge to squirm. “That happening a lot?”

She smiles, rueful, and shrugs again.

“You could call me,” he says softly, in the tone he uses when he knows he’s toeing a line that they don’t often cross.

She wants to accept the comfort, but habit has her giving him an out. “It’s okay. There’s no reason to keep us both up.”

”I want you to,” he tells her. “I’ll come keep you company.”

She can’t help the skeptical side-eye. “You’re going to get in here in the middle of the night?” She’s pretty sure the hospital has visiting hours, and the twilight hours aren’t among them.

To her amusement, he looks a little offended. “If I can infiltrate a goa’uld mothership, I think I can find my way into this place.”

She’s still skeptical and not a little unsure when she calls him the next night, after a particularly bad dream featuring Bynar. But true to his word, he shows up half an hour later with a pint of ice cream and a VHS full of Simpsons episodes. They finish the pint together, watch TV for hours, and when he leaves just before dawn, she’s dozing dreamlessly.

She doesn’t call Jack every night. She rations his attention like it's a resource that’ll run out at any moment, because she’s still not sure it won’t. Still, he always comes when she calls, always brings a snack because he knows she gets peckish late at night, always brings something that will distract her from whatever woke her up.

He never presses her to talk about it. In fact, they hardly talk about anything of substance at all, and the longer it goes on, the more trouble she has understanding what they’re doing. He clearly enjoys the time with her, but there’s something else underneath it.

Sometimes, when he thinks she’s asleep, he’ll just stand and watch her, and she can hear him take deep, measured breaths like he used to do in the field when he was enduring the pain of a bad wound.

Early one morning there’s an awkward (and, in hindsight, probably inevitable) moment where Jack crosses paths with her dad, him going out as Jacob’s coming in. She’d almost had a full night of sleep before the darkness had terrorized her, so she hadn’t called him until very late. Jack stays longer than he normally does, just sitting with her until she’s drowsy enough to fall back asleep, and she’s just on the cusp of it when her father's low voice rouses her.

“O’Neill,” Jacob says.

“General,” Jack replies, just as stiffly.

She doesn’t open her eyes completely, just enough to see them both under her eyelashes. Jack’s back is to her, but she can see her father stalled in the doorway, looking between her bed and Jack.

“What are you doing here? Don’t you have a team to lead?” Jacob asks, in a way that’s so obviously taunting that a bolt of unease brings her back to wakefulness.

There’s several long beats of silence. “No. I’m where I’m needed.”

“Are you, now?” her father asks quietly.

“Yes. I am.” Jack looks over his shoulder at her. She can’t make out the look on his face. “She’s had a long night. You should let her sleep,” he says, then he steps around Jacob and disappears.

She closes her eyes before her father moves again, and neither man seems to have noticed that she was awake, but she still expects one of them to at least mention the encounter in the days after. Neither does, and it’s another piece in a frustrating puzzle, because she hasn’t even begun to form its edges.

She finally breaks a week later. It’s two in the morning, and Sam’s sitting up in bed, absently chewing a pretzel while Jack sets up a game of chess on a bedside table they’ve pulled over. Jack’s elected to sit close tonight, right next to her on the bed so that his thigh warms hers.

He’s working in silence, taking his time, and she takes the opportunity to really look at him. She wonders if he’s having nightmares too, if maybe he needs the companionship as much as she does.

He looks tired.

“Hey,” she says gently, putting her hand on his knee where it rests against her hip. “Why are you here?”

He gives her a look. “You called me.”

“Jack,” she chides. Somehow she’s certain he’s being deliberately obtuse. “Why are you here? Why aren’t you going off-world? Daniel said he and Teal’c have been temporarily assigned to other teams. Did something happen?”

He freezes, the queen in his hand hovering over the board, and for a second it’s so quiet she can hear the ticking of the air conditioner coming through the vents in the ceiling. He sets the piece down on its square.

“Did something happen,” he repeats dully, staring at the chessboard.

Oh. She squeezes her eyes closed. “That’s—“

He slides his hand over her arm to the sensitive skin inside her elbow. The sensation of calluses on her skin stops the words in her throat, and she watches as his index finger lightly touches a jagged, bright pink cut that’s healed enough to be heading towards a scar.

“I’m taking some time. Extended leave. It was that or retirement,” he says, pulling back and continuing to set up the board. He doesn’t look at her. “Hammond chose leave.”

She blinks rapidly. “Will you tell me why?”

He picks up the last piece, a black pawn, and places it carefully on the board. His eyes flick up at her, then back down at his lap.

He shakes his head, once, and then turns the chess board toward her. “White goes first.”

She swallows, then squeezes his knee. “Okay,” she says, and considers her first move.

—-

Getting used to the forearm crutch is slow-going. Every day she uses it for a little longer, but today she and Dad aren’t walking far; just from the door to the garden, around the even-tiled terrace with it’s beautiful view, and then back inside. They’ve barely made it to the terrace and already she’s a little breathless.

Sensing her fatigue, her Dad starts to curl his hand under her arm to support her, and she shakes him off with a jerk and an irritated glance. He puts up his hands to show he’s backing off, and she sighs.

She’s learning a whole new rhythm for walking, moving her still-healing leg in time with the crutch, adjusting to a more limited gait while keeping her balance, and it’s exhausting. That along with the slow pace is making her impatient and short-tempered. She’s so tired of being tired.

Still, she’s trying not to ruin the time she still has with her Dad, so she takes a deep lungful of air and blows it back out again. “Sorry,” she mumbles, and out of the corner of her eye she sees him smile a little in reply.

The Tok’ra have been calling, so to speak, and she knows through Daniel that they’ve been putting pressure on her father to resume his duties on the High Council. It’s been months, so it makes sense. That doesn’t mean she’s ready for him to go.

“When do you have to go back?” Sam asks, trying to hide the breathlessness in her voice.

“Who says I have to go back?”

“Dad,” she admonishes. “I love having you here, you know I do. But I also understand if you need to get back. I know how important your work is to you and Selmak.”

He puts a hand on her elbow to bring them both to a stop, and it’s Selmak who speaks. “Nothing is more important to your father than you. Nor to me.”

Because she can’t talk through the rush of emotion that prompts, she leans up and kisses his cheek instead. This time, she’s the one to put her arm through his as she resumes walking. “So what are you going to tell them?”

“That we’re the oldest and wisest among them, and we’ll return when it’s time to return, and not a minute before,” Jacob says, and she grins at his stubbornness. Knowing him, it’s exactly what he’ll say.

“What about you?” he asks.

She frowns a little. “What about me?”

“You’re healing, making progress. The doctors are already talking about your transition out. Have you thought about what you want to do once you get home?”

General Hammond has made it clear that she has her pick of jobs—whatever she decides she wants, he’ll make it happen. It’s not that she isn’t grateful—it’s a huge privilege to have an advocate in someone like the General. But she tries to picture herself in her poorly-lit lab, floors away from the Stargate and any action, studying technology other teams have discovered. Then she tries to imagine standing in front of a classroom full of cadets bored by formulaic math, just trying to pass a class on their way to pulling Gs.

Neither of those pictures fit. When she thinks home, she pictures the gate room, walking up the ramp and trying not to laugh at the Colonel and Daniel‘s banter, the cold, thrilling embrace of a wormhole, the foreign smells and sounds of a new planet.

But that doesn’t fit anymore, either. That won’t be home ever again.

So she shrugs, tight-lipped. “I don’t know. I think it’s too early to think about it.” She can practically feel her father’s disapproval, so she deliberately lightens the tone as they start around the other side of the terrace, back towards the entrance to the hospital. “But the guys are apparently planning a big ‘breakout bash.’ I’m told there’ll be cake and barbecue. Jack’s even agreed to keep his beer off the steaks.”

Her father’s arm tenses against hers, and he flexes his neck a little in annoyance. “How thoughtful of Colonel O’Neill.”

The subtly derisive tone, the way he emphasizes Jack’s rank, has her back up immediately. She certainly never thought her father would approve of the feelings she and Jack couldn’t acknowledge while they were in the same chain of command, but that’s not the case anymore, and his judgmental tone rankles. She slows down even more, forcing him to turn toward her. “Dad. Stop.”

“What? I said it was thoughtful, didn’t I?” he says with barely restrained belligerence.

He steps forward as if to continue toward the door, but she plants her feet and looks up at the sky for a moment in frustration. “Yeah, but you and I both know that’s not what you meant. I need you to get over this.”

“Get over it?” Jacob draws up sharply, expression incredulous. “Get over the fact that he completely abdicated his responsibility as a commanding officer and came very close to getting my kid killed?”

She’s stunned into silence, mind spinning. She’d thought the tension between the two men had been borne out of her father's discomfort with her burgeoning closeness with her former CO, but this? This is so much worse. “That’s not what happened.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No,” she says, horrified. “We all agreed to draw straws. It could have been any of us.”

“It should never have even been an option,” he says, nearly yelling, his eyes hard. “Jack was the officer in charge, and he should have been the one to go on that mission. He didn’t. He’s the reason you’re here.”

“Yeah, Dad,” she says, voice high and thready because her throat aches with all the truth she can’t say. She can’t tell him about those last few moments—how she’d accepted death, how it felt like being torn apart but also a little like falling asleep, and how, if it hadn’t been for Jack’s eyes and Jack’s hand and Jack’s absolute refusal to let her go, she would have just kept falling. “He is.”

Birds sing in the trees, and the wind whips her hair into her face while she and her father look everywhere but at each other.

“I don’t understand how you can just forgive him for this,” he finally says.

She shakes her head, turning into the wind to cool her face. Then she meets his eyes so he knows she means it. “I don’t need to forgive him.”

Jacob doesn’t respond, just stares at her, jaw ticking.

There’s nothing left to say, so she passes him, covering the remaining distance to the door alone.

——

The day she’s released from hospital the guys come to pick her up in Janet’s minivan.

It doesn’t take them long to load up what Dad hadn’t already taken to her house, so they all pile in and wait patiently while she eases herself into a seat. Then she looks at Teal’c in the seat next to her, his knees pressing into the back of the driver’s seat, cowboy hat crushed up against the roof, and she laughs until she cries.

They take her straight to Jack’s house for the party. When Daniel suggested having it the same day she was discharged, she’d really only agreed because he seemed so excited about it. Secretly, she’s been afraid it would be too much, that she’s changed too much to enjoy it.

Now it’s time to find out if that’s true.

Jack comes around to help her out of the van, and keeps hold of her arm as they walk up. She lets him.

As they get to his front door, she sees a gently-sloped ramp covering the steps to his door and she stops them both in surprise. When she looks up at him, he shrugs. “Figured it’d be easier at first.”

Daniel pauses too, then throws a look at Jack as he passes that she can’t decipher.

Inside, Cassie is practically hovering in the entryway. “I thought you’d never get here. You drive that van like a grandpa.”

Jack looks indignant. “I do not,” he tips his head at Sam as he hangs up their coats. “You’re just used to Carter driving like she’s in NASCAR.”

She hasn’t driven anything in an eternity. “Please, F1 at least,” she says when she finds her voice. “Only Marines can’t make anything but left turns.”

Then she lifts the arm not holding her crutch, and Cassie rushes right into it. Sam feels Jack’s hand on her back, steadying her when the motion threatens to push her off balance.

Cassie had visited her in the hospital a few times, but it hadn’t been the same. Sam only needs to dip her head a little to press her cheek into the top of Cassie’s head, and the herby smell of her shampoo, of all things, makes her tear up. “Oh, I missed you.”

There’s pain where Cassie squeezes her around her waist, but Sam doesn’t care. “I missed you too,” Cassie says, muffled against her shoulder.

Sam lets herself hold Cassie for another few moments, then lets her go with one last squeeze. “I hope you’ve been supervising?” she asks brightly as Cassie steps back.

“Yep,” Cassie replies, grinning at Jack. “I made Teal’c promise to watch the grill.”

“Oh, go make yourself useful somewhere,” he retorts, pushing her playfully down the hall in front of him, Cassie snickering all the way.

Sam follows at her own pace, and gets distracted by the living room. Jack has rearranged it to fit another ramp on the steps leading down, and for a minute she’s stymied by it.

Daniel steps up beside her, puts his arm around her. They look down at Jack’s living room.

She gestures at it. “Did you know he was doing this?”

“Uh, no. This is the first I’m seeing it,” he says. And then there’s that look again. “But I can’t say I’m surprised.”

She frowns at him, but he just squeezes her shoulder, and goes outside to help Teal’c.

She blows out a breath, then turns and makes her way to the kitchen. She finds Jack there, arranging the potluck-style dishes, putting serving spoons next to them for when it’s time to eat. He has the look of someone doing busywork to avoid having to interact with other people. She can relate.

Still, when he looks up and sees that it’s her coming in, his shoulders seem to relax a little. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she replies, leaning against the counter opposite him. She props her crutch up next to her, pulls her arm out to give it a rest.

“You want a drink?”

“Please,” she says gratefully, rubbing her wrist lightly. He goes to the fridge and pulls out a diet coke for her and a beer for himself. It’s not the beer she suddenly longs for (and can’t have, thanks to her medication), but it’ll do.

She opens the can, takes a sip. It burns going down, but in a good way. She fiddles with the tab, pushing it right and left. Jack opens his beer, flicking the top into the trash in the corner—impressive—then settles across from her, watching her.

“Thank you for…everything,” she tells him. “You’ve been so thoughtful, I…” she stops, laughing a bit at her own stumbling. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” he tells her quietly. “I want you to be comfortable here.”

Something in his voice makes her look up sharply, searching his face. There’s an intensity there that makes her pulse start to run.

He puts his beer down onto the counter and steps toward her, reaching out to touch her arm. “Carter—”

“General Hammond is here,” Janet says from the doorway, startling Sam and making Jack drop his hand.

Janet leans in further, looks more closely at the two of them. “Sorry. Am I interrupting something?”

Jack smiles tightly. “No.”

Sam straightens. “We’ll be right there, Janet.”

Janet raises an eyebrow, but nods. “Okay,” she says, leaving with one last disbelieving look at Sam.

Sighing, she threads her arm back into her crutch and goes to greet the General, Jack following.

It’s always strange to see him in plain clothes, the man who’s been a giant in her life since she was a little girl. Stranger still, because their relationship, like everything, has changed yet again, she’s not sure how to navigate it now when it isn’t governed by military courtesies.

“Sir,” she and Jack say simultaneously, and for some reason it makes her cringe.

The General seems amused by them both. He and Jack shake hands. “Jack, thank you for hosting.” Then he turns back to Sam and places his hands on her shoulders.

She straightens under his review. She has the strongest memory of being 8 years old and standing at attention in front of him, trying to impress him with how still and serious she could be. She remembers how he hadn’t laughed as other men might have, but had taken her shoulders just like this and nodded with approval.

At ease, Sam.

“I’m glad to see you, Sam,” he tells her gently.

The pride in his voice is unmistakable, and she can’t help but lean in for a hug. “You too, Uncle George,” she whispers. He pats her back in response, then pulls back.

When he steps around her and Jack to join the others, she looks back toward the door and finds her father waiting on the threshold.

His presence is so unexpected that for a few seconds Sam can only stare. He’d left the hospital before the guys had shown up, and Sam had assumed that was intentional, that he was still too angry with her and with Jack to stick around, even to celebrate her homecoming.

And yet, here he is.

She risks a look at Jack. He’s standing close to her side, like he used to when he sensed trouble deep in the shadows of the trees, and he looks so braced that Sam’s heart runs up into her throat.

She opens her mouth to say something, anything, to prevent this from escalating into something they can’t come back from, but Jacob cuts her off before she can begin.

“I’m not over it,” he says, as rigid as he was that day on the terrace. “I don’t know that I’ll ever be. I’m sorry, Sam.”

The sound of happy chatter, clanging plates wafts in from behind them, punctuating the bubble of discord around them. “Dad—”

“But I think I can manage a beer,” he tells Jack, surprising her again. “If you have room for one more.”

It’s not an olive branch. That might never come. But Jacob is trying, and he’s doing it for her, and it might be the best she can hope for right now.

Ultimately, though, it’s not an offer that’s hers to accept, and she can only stand silently, waiting for Jack.

“Of course,” Jack says beside her, at length. “There’s always room for you, Jacob.” It’s guarded, but honest, and Sam releases a breath she didn’t even know she was holding.

Jacob nods, kisses her cheek, then follows General Hammond’s path through the house.

She and Jack linger, as if to recover their bearings in the aftermath of her father.

Jack clears his throat. “I guess I better get him that beer.”

She gives a strangled laugh, reaching out for his arm. She wants to thank him for being so good with her dad, despite how poorly he’s treated Jack, but somehow she knows that’d be the wrong thing to say. Instead, she squeezes his arm and hopes he gets what she’s trying to convey.

He seems to. He covers her hand, squeezes, then lets go.

They go back to the party.

—

She mingles, talks to as many people as she can. The guest list turns out to be fairly small, just people she works closely with on base (she’s sure she has Jack to thank for that), and it’s genuinely wonderful to see them all. But by the time she’s made the rounds and people start filing out, Sam’s exhausted.

She’s said goodbye to her dad, who left with General Hammond earlier, and to Daniel and Teal’c just a few minutes ago.

Now it’s just Janet and Cassie left, so she walks them to the door. Janet’s eyeing Sam’s posture judgmentally, and this time she can’t blame her. Her leg aches, and she knows she’s overdone it on the standing because she can feel the muscles in her back cramping and her crutch arm is sore. She knows she probably looks as worn out as she feels.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you home?” Janet asks again.

Sam looks over her shoulder into the house, where she catches a glimpse of Jack cleaning up, giving them space to talk. She turns back to Janet and smiles. “I’m good.”

“Okay. You have all your medication?” Janet asks, in full doctor mode.

“I do,” Sam replies dutifully.

“Good. Please actually take it.”

She rolls her eyes. “Yes, Dr. Frasier.”

“I saw that,” Janet chides, gives Sam a hug, then moves outside so Cassie can too.

“Have fun,” Cassie whispers suggestively in her ear before she lets go.

Like that’s even an option for her right now. “Goodnight, Cassie,” she replies, stepping back.

Cassie winks as Sam closes the door behind them.

Sam sags against the door. It was a good day, but a long one, and all she wants to do is sit and rest and catch her breath. She sighs, straightens up, intending to go back to the living room, but then her eyes fall on her coat.

A few minutes of peace on Jack’s porch sounds like exactly what she wants, so she grabs it and heads back. She doesn’t see Jack on the way, but she figures he knows where to find her.

The cool air hits her face as soon as she steps outside and she sighs again, this time happily. There’s a cushioned chair set not too far away from where the wide steps open out into the yard, so she picks that one, groaning as she lowers herself down. She lets her crutch drop the short way to the wood, and stretches her right leg out as far as it will extend.

She’s always loved this porch, and not just because of the good memories the team’s made here, of which there are many. She loves it because it’s another example of Jack’s dedication; it’s a reminder of how hard he worked to build something solid, something that can withstand bad weather and a shifting earth. Kind of like SG-1.

The door slides open behind her.

“Sorry,” she says, not turning around. “I just needed some air.”

“I can’t imagine why,” he says, coming up alongside her. “It’s been nothing but roses and jokes since you got here.” His wryness makes her smile.

He sighs. “We probably shouldn’t have let Daniel do this today.”

She shrugs. “I don’t think it would have been easier any other day.”

He tips his head in concession, taking a swig of the beer he brought out with him.

The sun is setting, throwing pink light over the porch and the green grass that smells like he mowed it today. She breathes in, lets the crisp air fortify her.

“What were you going to say, before, in the kitchen?” she asks before she loses her nerve.

Jack puts his beer up on the railing, turning it and watching the light reflect and fracture on the wood underneath the glass.

“I hear Hammond offered you R&D in Nevada,” he says.

Her brows furrow. She’s not sure what she was expecting, but it wasn’t that. “Among other options, yes.”

“Are you going to take it?”

She shifts, uncomfortable in a way that has nothing to do with her leg or the chair. “Maybe. I don’t know. It’s an amazing opportunity. It would’ve been even before…all of this. And sometimes I think a fresh start might be best.”

Jack’s gone still; even his fingers are frozen on the bottle. When he speaks again, his voice is strained. “I know I let you down.”

She’s unprepared for the jolt of pain that lances through her, and she has to suck in a breath just to get through it. “That’s not true.”

“It is. I did,“ he says, and she can’t see his face, because he won’t look at her, but she can see his throat working in profile. “And I know it’s not fair to ask you to stay, but I’m asking anyway.”

It’s strange, because her lungs feel so heavy that she feels like all the air has disappeared, even in the openness of the backyard. “Jack.”

He finally turns, and to her shock, kneels on the deck in front of her. His eyes are eloquent. “You can do whatever you want. Teach at the Academy and scout candidates for the program. Consult on base and be the head geek. Ditch it all and work on your Indian all day. Whatever it is you do—” his voice breaks, she breaks too, because she knows they’ve been carrying those words around and the weight nearly killed them both. “Whatever it is you do, Carter, do it here. Do it with me.”

She touches his cheek, and he makes a pained noise, closing his eyes and turning his face into her hand. Emotion has closed her throat, making words impossible, so she leans forward and kisses him instead.

Jack responds immediately, sitting up and pressing her back into the chair. He opens his mouth to hers and she can taste his desperation, feel it in the way his arms come up and around her, pulling her as close as he can get her. She strokes a hand through his hair, wraps her other arm around him, finds him trembling.

When he pulls away and presses his forehead against her chest, Sam tucks her cheek against his hair and just holds him. “I’m here,” she whispers, and he shudders. She blinks hard over burning eyes. “We’ll be okay.”

They breathe together for a long time, until the pink light shrinks to the horizon and the crickets start to chirp.

“Can I stay here tonight?” she asks lowly.

He kisses her collarbone. “You can stay as long as you want.”

“Good,” she says, pulling away slightly. “Because I think I might live in this chair now.”

He laughs, that gratifying, huffing laugh he has, and pulls back. He reaches up, runs his thumb under her eye, wiping away moisture. He scans her face, and she lets him look, hoping he finds whatever he needs there.

He must, because he smiles a little. “Come on, let’s get you inside,” he says, grunting as he stands.

“Are you sure you can make it?” she teases.

He holds out his hands for her, and she takes them. “We’ll manage,” he tells her, and his voice is steady and sure.

She believes him.

——

She doesn’t take the job in Nevada.

In the end, she decides to return to the mountain, leading the science and research division as the world’s foremost expert on the Stargate.

And it’s everything she feared: it’s awkward and uncomfortable as she finds her place there as a scientist instead of an airman. Sometimes the longing to step into a wormhole one more time is so strong that it’s a physical ache. Watching Jack and Daniel and Teal’c go through with someone that isn’t her will never stop being unsettling, no matter how much time passes.

But the fundamentals remain. The charge she gets from studying alien technology is as exhilarating as it ever was, and now she actually has the time to create, to make things that will protect the planet and advance the human race. She doesn’t know it yet, but one day she’ll watch the Prometheus lift out of the ground and ascend to the sky and then to the stars, and she’ll think: I built that.

Sam feels it all, the good and the bad. It’s solid and real and powerful and sometimes it hurts, but it feels right.

At the end of her first week back, it’s her job to give General Hammond and SG-1 a briefing on the properties of the planet they’re about to visit. She stands in front of the table, meets Jack’s eyes across the room, and warms from head to toe at the confidence she finds there. Daniel gives her that same knowing look, but this time she gets it and it takes all her willpower not to roll her eyes at him.

When she looks at Teal’c, he nods at her solemnly, but his eyes are shining.

You are alive. You are with us. This is where you are meant to be.

General Hammond enters the room, and SG-1 stands until he sits. When they’re all settled again, the General nods at her. “Doctor Carter, please begin.”

And she does.

[quasi-normalcy]

Star Trek episode titles referencing specific characters or species:

So I've been through the list of every Star Trek episode ever, looking for titles that specifically reference characters or species. I'm talking specific references here, i.e., name drops, rather than just allusions. So, for example, I didn't count "The Squire of Gothos", but I would have counted it if the episode had been called "Trelane"; I counted "I, Borg", but not any of the episodes called things meant to evoke the Borg (e.g., "Collective", "Assimilation", "Drone", etc.).

Anyways, my results are as follows:

Characters:

Of the ST episodes named after specific characters, a plurality (17 out of 56) were named after what I am calling "minor" characters, which I am here defining as those who appear in only 1 episode. These included: "Charlie X," "Miri," and "Elaan of Troyius" (from TOS); "Bem" (from TAS); "11001001" (which is technically the names of the 4 Bynars) and “Aquiel” (from TNG); “Melora” (from DS9); “The Caretaker,” “Jetrel,” “Tuvix,” and “Alice” (from VOY); “Rajiin” (from ENT); “Jinaal” (from DIS); “I, Excretus” and "In the Cradle of Vexilon” (from LWD); and “The Trouble with Edward” and "Ephraim and Dot” (from Short Treks).

Q, of course, led the "major" characters, with 8: "Hide and Q," "Q Who,” “Deja Q,” “Qpid,” and “True Q” (from TNG); “Q-Less” (from DS9); and “The Q and the Grey” and “Q2” (from VOY)

Next was Data, with 4 episodes to his name (“Datalore” "Elementary, Dear Data” “Data’s Day,” and "A Fistful of Datas," all from TNG)

There was a 2-way tie for fourth place between Harry Mudd ("Mudd's Women" and "I, Mudd" from TOS; "Mudd's Passion" from TAS) and Spock ("Spock's Brain" from TOS, the movie Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, and "Spock Amok" from SNW), each having 3 episodes to their name.

Bashir was the only other character to have multiple episodes to his name ("Our Man Bashir" and "Doctor Bashir, I Presume?", both from DS9

An additional 20 regular or recurring characters had one episode named after them. These include: Lore ("Datalore"), Sarek ("Sarek"), Troi ("Menage a Troi"), Ro ("Ensign Ro"), Okona ("The Outrageous Okona), Dax ("Dax"), Quark ("The House of Quark"), Shakaar ("Shakaar"), Khan (Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan), Kahless ("The Sword of Kahless"), Morn ("Who Morns for Morn?"), Dr. Chaotica ("Bride of Chaotica!"), The Doctor ("Tinker, Tenor, Doctor, Spy"), Su'kal ("Su'Kal"), Vox ("Vox"), Boimler ("Much Ado About Boimler"), Kayshon ("Kayshon, His Eyes Open"), Paris ("We'll Always Have Tom Paris"), Badgey ("A Few Badgeys More") and Ascensia ("Ascension" (not quite, but I'm counting it)).

Species

Here, I counted not just the proper names of alien species, but the proper names of their homeworlds/dimensions as well. And here, again, "minor" species who appear in only one episode dominated the category, with 11 out of 44 episode titles: "The Gamesters of Triskelion," "Elaan of Troyius," "The Mark of Gideon," and "The Lights of Zetar" (from TOS); "The Magicks of Megas-tu" and "The Slaver Weapon" (from TAS); “Angel One” and “Galaxy’s Child” (from TNG); “Meridian” (from DS9); “The Swarm” (from VOY); and "An Embarrassment of Dooplers" (from LWD)

Q, which is, after all, the name of a species as well as a character, again leads the "major" entries, with 8 episodes: "Hide and Q," "Q Who,” “Deja Q,” “Qpid,” and “True Q” (from TNG); “Q-Less” (from DS9); and “The Q and the Grey” and “Q2” (from VOY)

Tribbles came next with four episodes to their name: "The Trouble with Tribbles" (TOS), "More Tribbles, More Troubles" (TAS), "Trials and Tribble-ations" (DS9), and “A Tribble Called Quest” (PRO)

The Ferengi (“Ferengi Love Songs” and “The Magnificent Ferengi” from DS9; “Parth Ferengi’s Heart Place” from LWD) and the Prophets ("In the Hands of the Prophets", "Prophet Motive", and "Tears of the Prophets", all from DS9) tie for fourth, with three episode apiece

There's a three-way tie for fifth place between the Vulcans ("The Infinite Vulcan" from TAS and "The Vulcan Hello" from DIS), the Borg ("I, Borg" from TNG and "Let Sleeping Borg Lie" from PRO), and the Andorians/Aenar, whom I am treating as one species ("The Andorian Incident" and "The Aenar", both from ENT), each with two apiece.

The Tholians ("The Tholian Web"), Orions ("The Pirates of Orion"), Cardassians ("Cardassians"), Jem'Hadar ("The Jem'Hadar"), Caretakers ("Caretaker"), Xindi ("The Xindi"), Species 10-C ("Species 10-C"), Mugatos ("Mugato Gumato") and Illyrians ("Ghosts of Illyria") get one episode each, mostly just boring noun titles

A few interesting things are of note here. First of all, outside of the one-off appearances and simple one- or two-word noun titles, the episodes of Star Trek that are named after specific characters or species are overwhelmingly done for comedic purposes (which probably explains why Q, Mudd, the Tribbles, and the Ferengi all tend to put in relatively strong showings). When things are serious, Star Trek across all series overwhelmingly tends to prefer more oblique or poetic titles. Notably, even the more "serious" episodes with Q ("Q Who" being the major exception) tend to forego the standard punny names.

Secondly, with the exceptions of Data and Spock (and to a lesser extent Bashir, Dax, Quark, the Doctor, and Boimler), Star Trek really doesn't like to name episodes after its opening credits regulars. None of the captains, for example, appear on this list: apparently you can name a series after Picard, but if you want to do an episode about him going on vacation, you call it "Captain's Holiday" rather than "Picard's Holiday."

Finally, it's remarkable what species aren't name-dropped in titles. The Vulcans, the Borg, the Ferengi, the Q, and the Cardassians (namesake of only one rather unimaginatively named episode) are all certainly among the major parts of the setting, but the Federation's oldest enemies--the Romulans and the Klingons--are nowhere to be seen; nor are the Changelings, the Bajorans, the Trill, the Betazoids, or any of however many other species to be featured prominently on their respective series. Star Trek typically seems to favour more oblique or thematic references when it comes to its antagonists (the aforementioned "Drone," "Collective" or "Assimilation" for the Borg; titles like "Heart of Glory," "A Matter of Honour," or "The Way of the Warrior" for the Klingons; titles like "The Neutral Zone," "The Enemy," and various allusions to political tension or spycraft for the Romulans; two separate episodes referencing the colour green for the Orions, and so on); titles that tell you what you can expect from these guys, rather than that they themselves are in it.

[thewordinvention]

This is related to the latest (at time of writing) Lower Decks episode (season 4 episode 7), so, uh, spoilers an' all that.

So, this week a Bynar ship got seemingly destroyed, but now we know for certain not really. Now, maybe I'm just making random connections, but I remember that Mariner references dating "Bad Bynars" in We'll Always Have Tom Paris (the line may've stuck with me because she also referenced non-binary people).

So, you may see where this is going and y'am certainly right to call this a wild bit of speculation, but, what if they're gonna call back that line? What if when they discover where the ships and their crews am they meet Mariners old Bynar partners who were upon that Bynar ship?

Probably won't happen, but if it does I want there to be proof I had the thought beforehand.

[a-random-foxperson]

Reminds me of the TNG episode 11001001, which had an alien species called the bynars, which were genderless and used binary codes to refer to themselves.

Annoying edge cases: non-binary person who identifies as binary.

Not as a binary gender, but as having the gender "binary". Like the gender options are "man", "woman", and "binary".

0 uses 0/1 neopronouns, of course. 0 says 0`s never been happier with this gender and pronoun choice, it really works for 1.

[thegreaterlink]

Reviewing Star Trek TNG - S1E14 “11001001”

This title doesn’t roll off the tongue in the slightest, so from now on I’ll just be referring to this episode as the Bynars episode.

THE PREMISE

The Enterprise arrives at Starbase 74 for a routine maintenance check. Most of the crew take shore leave while a skeleton crew including Captain Picard and Commander Riker remain on board. The Starbase Commander brings aboard a group of small humanoid aliens called Bynars to help with the maintenance.

While Picard and Riker are testing the Bynars’ upgrades to the holodeck, the Bynars create a malfunction in the warp core which forced the crew to evacuate, but Picard and Riker are totally unaware inside the holodeck as the Bynars take control.

MY REVIEW

This episode was a lot more interesting than I expected.

The Bynars are the most intriguing alien species in the series so far. Design-wise, they’re rather similar to the Talosians from “The Cage” - and not just because they were all played by women - but they set themselves apart by communicating in rapid streams of binary code and always finishing each others' sentences.

It's also implied that they don't have genders. I suppose that would make them... non-binary.

...I'll see myself out.

At the end of the episode they apologise, explaining that they hijacked the ship because it was the only means of transporting the massive amounts of data necessary to save their home planet from a massive EMP that would wipe out their computer systems, dooming them as a species. Picard notes that they only had to ask, but they reply that they couldn't risk being turned down. This whole thing feels a bit avoidable in my opinion, but it's at least a more complex motivation than what we're used to.

I struggle to excuse the initial behaviour of Picard and Riker, who gawk at a holographic woman while the ship is being hijacked. However, they quickly prove their effectiveness as Starfleet officers through their tactics to take back the ship, even activating the auto-destruct sequence to prevent the ship from falling into enemy hands should they fail.

Speaking of the holographic woman, Minuet is the most sophisticated hologram we've seen so far, with sophisticated responses, holding a complex conversation and even speaking in French when greeting Captain Picard.

(Side note: It's always awkward to remember that Picard is supposed to be French when he's played by one of the most thoroughly British men to ever live.)

But it turns out that she's just a creation of the Bynars, intended merely as a distraction. Once the Bynars leave, Minuet is gone, and there is a palpable sadness in Riker's voice when he tells Picard that she's gone for good. The debate of the true extent to which a hologram is a real person is a fascinating one, but one which the episode unfortunately (but understandably) doesn't have much time to develop as Riker's relationship with Minuet is not the main focus.

I also have to note that the special effects footage of the Starbase was reused from Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (bottom image), but the integration of the new effects was pretty seamless, so they at least get props for that.

7/10 - Could've been tighter in some places, but still worth a watch.

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[aion-rsa]

Star Trek: Lower Decks Episode 5 – All the Easter Eggs and References

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This article contains spoilers for Star Trek: Lower Decks episode 5.

This episode of Star Trek: Lower Decks pays tribute to the oldest Trek monster of them all, slips in a few overt references to Enterprise, and even gives us a Geordi La Forge teddy bear.

Although Star Trek Day isn’t until next week, on September 8, Star Trek: Lower Decks is paying tribute to the first aired Trek episode of all time by stuffing its latest episode with more references to the franchise than its ever done before. Yes, somehow, “Cupid’s Errant Arrow,” seems to have more shout-outs and callbacks than all the other episodes of Lower Decks combined. We’re not sure if this is true, or whether some clever spacetime compression is at work, but this episode seemed a lot like a Captain Kirk sundae, with Trip Tucker sprinkles, and a side helping of a Will Riker burger. Yeah, two of those jokes are actually from this episode!

Here are all the Easter eggs, references, and shout-outs we caught in Star Trek: Lower Decks episode 5, “Cupid’s Errant Arrow.”

As real as a hopped-up Q on Captain Picard Day 

Boimler says his new girlfriend Barb is “as real as a hopped-up Q on Captain Picard Day.” This references Q, of course, both the character played by John De Lancie in TNG, DS9, and Voyager. But, it also references the species of the Q Continuum in general.

“Captain Picard Day,” comes from the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode “The Pegasus,” and is generally agreed to be June 16th on our calendar. This is the second Captain Picard Day reference in from a new Trek series in 2020. In the first episode of Picard, “Remembrance,” Jean-Luc saw his Captain Picard Day banner — made by children on the Enterprise 1701-D, in his personal archive. 

Love on the holodeck

When Mariner accuses Boimler of having holodeck girlfriends, he protests, saying “I don’t do that anymore.” Characters on Star Trek, specifically The Next Generation, have a long history of falling in love with holograms.

Reginald Barclay was probably the biggest offender here, and, in “Hollow Pursuits,” he made two holographic recreations of Deanna Troi.

Geordi fell in love with a hologram of Dr. Leah Brahams in the episode “Booby Trap,” and Riker nearly fell in love with Minuet in “11001001.”

Later in the episode, Barb says she believed the Mariner was a “rogue holodeck character,” which could also be a reference to “11001001,” since Minuet’s job was to keep Picard and Riker distracted while the Bynars messed with the Enterprise.

But, when we think of rogue holodeck characters, we generally think of Moriarty from the Sherlock Holmes episodes “Elementary, My Dear Data” and “Ship in a Bottle.” Boimler referenced the holographic Moriarty just last week in the Lower Decks episode “Moist Vessel.” 

Geordi  La Forge Teddy Bear 

While waiting to meet Barb, Boimler is clearly holding a teddy bear meant to remind us of Geordi La Forge. Does the bear’s uniform match the TNG era? Or should we not worry about the teddy bear’s uniform?

Phylosian

Mariner offers to set-up Boimler with a “Phylosian,” who works on the Cerritos, and mentions 

“she seems like a nice plant person.” Phylosians are plant people. This race of plant-based aliens originated an episode of The Animated Series called “The Infinite Vulcan.” 

Is Barb a Time Lord? 

While catching up with Boimler, Barb says that in a previous mission she had to “reverse the polarity and reboot the time stream.” Variants of the phrase “reverse the polarity of the neutron flow,” is a catchphrase usually associated with the Doctor from Doctor Who. It (mostly) originates during the 1970s Third Doctor era of Jon Pertwee, specifically the episodes “The Terror of the Autons,” “The Daemons,” and “The Sea Devils.”

That said, the phrase “reverse the polarity,” exists throughout all eras of Trek, starting with the TOS episode “Who Mourns for Adonais?” all the way through the Enterprise episode “Harbinger.” 

Barb claiming she “rebooted the time stream,” is also a common Trek trope, and can be traced all the way back to TOS episodes like “Tomorrow Is Yesterday,” and “City On the Edge Of Forever.” 

1920s Chicago 

Barb’s reference to being stuck in 1920’s Chicago references the TOS episode “A Piece of the Action,” where the crew encounters an entire planet of 1920’s mobsters. However, in that episode, there was zero time travel, just a planet of alien mobster imitators. 

Hunky Trek dudes

Intimidated the “hot hunk” named Jet, Boimler says “That guy is like a Kirk sundae with Trip Tucker sprinkles.” Obviously, this references Captain James T. Kirk and the chief engineer of the Enterprise NX-01, Charles “Trip” Tucker. 

Starfleet relationships ending very badly.

Mariner says that “When a Starfleet relationship seems too good to be true, then RED ALERT, it probably is.” Then she launches into a litany of examples.

“She’s an alien who is going to eat you” Most aliens in Trek don’t actually eat people, but aliens who suck out the life force of people they’re pretending to date are fairly common. For example, in the DS9 episode “The Muse,” Jake Sisko is having his energy drained by a creature who is pretending to be an older woman who loves him but is really draining his life force. 

“Or a Romulan Spy” This probably references the Romulan spy T’Pel from the episode “Data’s Day,” though nobody was trying to date her. In Picard, Agnes Jurati was an unwitting Romulan spy, though it’s unclear if the Lower Decks writing team knew about that when this episode was completed.

“Or a Salt Succubus” Ha! This is the big one. In the first aired Trek episode ever, “The Man Trap,” the shapeshifting M-113 lifeform pretends to be McCoy’s old girlfriend Nancy Crater but also turns into a variety of other attractive people and attempts to seduce several crewmembers, and even, in the guise of a hunky dude, makes a pass at Uhura. (Note: Uhura is the only person who didn’t fall for the salt vampire’s bullshit.)

“Or an Android” In TOS, Nurse Chapel falls in love with a secret android duplicate of her old boyfriend Roger Korby in the episode, “What Are Little Girls Made Of?” And, in the TOS episode “Requiem for Methuselah,” Kirk falls in love with Rayna, who is also a secret android. 

“Or a Changeling” There are a lot of people who fall in love with shapeshifters in Star Trek, but saying “a Changeling,” probably refers to the actual species of “Changelings” from Deep Space Nine, of which, Odo is the most famous. 

“Or one of those sexy people in rompers who murder you just for going on the grass” This references the episode “Justice,” in which Wesley falls in some grass and is nearly murdered by scantily clad people who were previously flirting with everyone. 

DS9/ old uniform flashback

Mariner’s flashback to her time on the USS Quito seems to take place while the ship is docked at Deep Space Nine. Notably, the crew does not appear to actually be drinking on the space station, but rather, on their own ship. Because this flashback takes place prior to 2280, Mariner and her shipmates are wearing the later-era Starfleet uniforms with the grey shoulders, first introduced in Star Trek: First Contact. For more about what this all might mean, read our deep dive into this flashback scene here.

Mariner’s conspiracy chart 

There are probably more Easter eggs in this scene than the entire show combined, but let’s do our best! Mariner has several pictures of several Trek aliens displayed, and she mentions some of them, but others are just kind of there. Here’s what we spotted. 

“Barb’s not a Dauphin!” Mariner points to a picture of a furry alien called a Dauphin, which comes from the TNG episode “The Dauphin,” in which Wesley Crusher’s new girlfriend is revealed to be a furry shape-shifting monster with claws.

A picture of Lal, Data’s first daughter. In one corner, there seems to be an image of the android Lal, before she had decided on her gender and species. This version of Lal exists in the teaser of the TNG episode “The Offspring,”

“She could be a Suliban!” Mariner mentions the Suliban, which are time-traveling shapeshifting aliens that plagued the crew of the NX-01 Enterprise, starting with “Broken Bow.”

The Bynars: The purple-headed Bynars from “11001001,” are also pictured. This means that Mariner is entertaining the theory that Barb is a holodeck character, too. Just like the aforementioned, Minuet. 

Seska: Mariner talks about undercover Cardassians for a second, and we see a picture of someone who looks like Seska. In Star Trek: Voyager, Seska was a Bajoran crewmember who turned out to really be a Cardassian spy. Her goal was to get close to Chakotay and to send secrets about the Maquis to the Cardassians. Seska was revealed to be a spy in the episode “State of Flux.”

Duras sisters: The Klingon traitors Lursa and B’Etor seem to be pictured here, too. At this point, in 2380, the Duras sisters have been dead for nine years. They died in Star Trek Generations when the Enterprise destroyed their Bird-of-Prey. That said, maybe they managed to escape?

Transporter clone: Mariner has a picture of two Barbs standing next to each other in the transporter. This references various transporter duplicates throughout Star Trek. The most famous examples are Kirks’ transporter duplicate in the TOS episode “The Enemy Within,” and Riker’s transporter duplicate in the TNG episode “Second Chances.” 

M-113 Salt Vampire: Mariner has a very prominent picture of the M-113 creature in its natural state. This is actually the second time this creature from “The Man Trap,” has appeared in animated form. Very briefly, the M-113 creature was depicted at the beginning of the animated Short Treks episode “Empriah and Dot.” 

Humpback Whales: Mariner has a huge picture of a humpback whale. This must reference Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home in which the crew goes back in time to bring whales into the future. What does that have to do with Mariner’s theory? She’s worried about time travel? Does she think Barb is actually Dr. Gillian Taylor? Well, considering that Barb is voiced by actress Gillian Jacobs, it seems possible that this is a reference to Gillian Taylor (Catherine Hicks), the marine biologist who traveled from the 20th century and into the 23rd. 

An Andorian named Jennifer

While running through the corridors, Mariner pushes an Andorian out of her way and says dismissively, “Jennifer!” Is it weird that an Andorian has the name, Jennifer? Well, maybe not. In Voyager, a young Ktarians girl, Naomi Wildman, had the name, well “Naomi.” 

Breen Infiltrator

Barb says she briefly thought Mariner was a Breen Infiltrator. The Breen were a rarely-seen, but often mentioned alien enemy of the Federation in TNG and DS9. During the Dominion War, the Breen actually were the ones who led the Dominion attack on Earth.

The Breen weren’t seen in canon until the fourth season DS9 episode “Indiscretion.” Throughout all their appearances, the Breen appeared entirely inside of “refrigeration suits,” and no one has ever seen what they actually look like. Meaning, the idea of a Breen Infiltrator is inherently hilarious because they could, in theory, look like anything under those helmets. 

Parasite and Pheromones 

When it is eventually revealed that there is a parasite connected to Boimler, there could be a small reference here to the TNG episode “Conspiracy,” in which Picard discovers several members of Starfleet Command have little bug parasites controlling them.

At the same time, the idea that an alien could have pheromones so strong that other humanoids find them irresistible vaguely recalls Star Trek: The Motion Picture. The backstory Ilia is that she is a Deltan, a species of humanoids who produce pheromones so strong that most people can’t resist. This is why she says “my oath of celibacy is on record.” She’s letting Kirk know that she’s not going to seduce everyone for her own gain, even though she totally could. 

Calibrate the Dyson’s Sphere 

Ron Docent (played by Matt Walsh) bemoans his various responsibilities on the USS Vancouver, specifically having to “calibrate the Dyson’s Sphere.”  In Trek canon, as far as we know, there is only one Dyson’s Sphere, the one discovered by the Enterprise in the TNG episode “Relics.” 

The password was “Riker”

Tendi correctly guesses that Docent uses the password “Riker.” This seems to imply that Riker is famous and well-liked enough in 2380, that he’s a common password. In canon, Riker is in command of the USS Titan during the events of Lower Decks.

Interestingly, if we go by the Picard timeline, Thad Riker, Will, and Deanna’s first child, will be born in 2381, which means, there’s a good chance that during the events of this episode, Deanna Troi is pregnant. Could the Troi-Rikers be buddies with Ron Docent? Is that why he choose “Riker” as his password?

We may or may not see the Troi-Rikers in a future episode of Lower Decks, but for now, you’ll have to excuse me. I need to change my password.

The post Star Trek: Lower Decks Episode 5 – All the Easter Eggs and References appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[borgcast]

Get with the 24th Century Riker!

(He then spends the rest of the episode referring to them as ‘gentlemen’ despite being told otherwise- S1 Riker is a dick.)

Riker- “Are these gentlemen the Bynars?”

Quinteros- “They’re not gentlemen. Or ladies.”

[jimintomystery]

TNG: “11001001″

At Starbase 74, the mysterious Bynars perform repairs and upgrades to the Enterprise’s computer systems, including her holodecks.  Picard and Riker are particularly impressed with a demonstration of a sophisticated holodeck character, Minuet, never dreaming that she is part of an audacious plot to steal the Enterprise.

This episode mentions recent holodeck problems, seemingly in reference to “The Big Goodbye.”  However, that episode mentions recent holodeck upgrades, seemingly in reference to “11001001.”  Both episodes feature holo-programs that amaze their users with features that will seem commonplace by the second season.  It’s easy to forget that, before these two episodes, the holodeck was really only used for generating landscapes and sparring partners.

Minuet is played by Carolyn McCormick, whom I know best as Dr. Olivet from the Law & Order franchise.  Olivet always had this clincially rational yet gentle style that I admired, so it was a little weird to go back later and realize she’s Riker’s video game waifu here.  There’s something quite creepy about watching Riker and Picard sit there and remark about her capacity to please them like she’s a trained pet, perhaps because it sounds so much like other Star Trek dialogue extolling women as if they’re mythical creatures.

The Bynars’ big plan is to save their homeworld’s computer from the  electromagnetic pulse that they predict from an imminent supernova.  (The supernova is supposed to be within their star system, so I’d think the planet has bigger problems, but anyway.)  The Enterprise happens to have the only mobile computer large enough to use as a backup.  (Why they need a mobile backup when they can evidently transmit the data from light years away is unclear, but anyway.)  With the Bynaus computer down, the Bynars can’t perform the “system restore” themselves, so they hoped Picard and Riker could do it for them. 

Picard and Riker find the backup file, but they can’t access it because they don’t know the file name.  (I’d have left them a note, but anyway.)  Data “helpfully” suggests that a file name can be anything, but is probably something significant to the creator of the file.  Now, on a 21st century Windows computer it’s pretty easy to search for a file if you know the size (huge) and creation date (today).  (I mean, it’s usually super easy to get the file name if you already have the file open and you’re looking at it, but anyway.)  We can infer the Enterprise has a similar kind of file search because Riker uses it, but he just searches for combinations of ones and zeroes until he gets lucky.  (I’d have just used a regular expression like /^[01]{1,16}$/, but anyway.)

The filename turns out to be “11001001,” which is just like the title of this cartoon!  It’s also the concatenated names of the two Bynars pairs which appear in this episode--11 & 00 and 10 & 01.  So if you’ve been going nuts trying to figure out the significance of 201, you’re welcome.

[startrekreviews]

TNG Novel #39: Rogue Saucer

TNG #39: Rogue Saucer by John Vornholt Book Jacket’s Summary:      “While its own saucer section receives needed repairs, the USS Enterprise tests a new experimental saucer. In theory, the new saucer can survive a planetary crash landing, but will it come through intact under genuine test conditions? Riker, Data, Worf, and La Forge risk their lives to find out, and so does Admiral Nechayev of Starfleet.       But a dangerous test turns even more deadly when hostile forces seize control of the saucer – and turn it against the Enterprise.” Yeaka’s Notes:     The bookjacket makes this story sound more unique and interesting than it actually is. All the talk of preparing to separate the saucer section and crash land it on a planet is amusing when one recalls the Generations movie, but beyond that, it doesn’t make much sense—for some reason, the Enterprise doesn’t just have to intentionally crash an expensive and experimental ship with living crew members on it, but it simulates an actually attack first which takes control of their systems. From there, everything goes predictably to hell—Riker, Geordi, and Admiral Nechayev are captured by Marquis, Picard, Worf, and Data deal with their broken ship, and Deanna, Beverly, and Guinan sit safely on a space station for most of the book after not being invited to a senior officers meeting because Picard’s trying to ‘protect’ them.     Even with that glaring problem aside, this book is full of sexism. It’s ingrained in the very narrative—almost every time a woman is introduced, it stops to mention how “attractive” she is or details parts of her body—her hips, her eyes, her lithe figure—whilst never once doing so for any of the men. The men often think about them in sexual terms after just glancing at them for a second, again without anything going the other way around. I was originally writing them down as minor annoyances (Beverly being introduced as “the attractive doctor” (p3), Ro being introduced as “very attractive” and referred to in the narrative as “the beautiful young woman,” (p16) or “the lovely Bajoran” that stroked a man with her supple hands to “arouse” him (p49), Geordi watching women bend over through his VISOR (p34), “Deanna Troi put her hands on her slim hips, which were accentuated by the slinky evening gown” (p39), a group of guards is somewhere and the men are brushed over while the woman “looked good up there” (p77), Deanna enters a bar where men lounge about but “the only women in the room were gathered in a dark corner” and the men ask Troi for “personal favours” (p111)) but eventually I just had to stop because these little digs, while insignificant on their own, were everywhere. Add to that that women were actually segregated from the mission, and, last but not least, Beverly and Guinan spent their shore leave bathing and received their eventual invitation to join the plot whilst fully naked.     Long story short, this book was difficult to slog through. The writing’s juvenile, the women are mishandled, and the trained officers are foolish—an example being that Picard actually forgets to put up his shields during a conflict. If you for some reason want to read it anyway, beware of a bit of random torture that comes out of nowhere in the end, some extremely needless violence, and the death of pretty much everyone not actually from the TV show. The many other episode references and Picard/Beverly hints can’t save this. Steer clear. Noteworthy moments: (below cut)

Ch1/p3 Picard’s breakfast with Beverly is interrupted, Picard bemoans having to fight the Maquis (when the bridge has been disabled by them, they suspect Ro)

p14 Ro (it doesn’t say directly it’s her but heavily implies so) is running a Maquis cell

Ch2/p18 On shore leave at a starbase, Picard and Beverly discuss visiting museums together; Admiral Alynna Nechayev and Picard discuss sending Ro to the Maquis

p30 Riker seducing a Deltan woman

Ch3/p34 Geordi dressing Data up with a hat to play pool, apparently Data dislikes shore leave and misses Spot; Deanna and Worf watch an Andorian explain his religion, Worf considers going to a concert with Deanna because of his “growing attraction” to her; all the men are called to a conference

Ch4/p55 Mendon (TNG: “A Matter of Honor”)

Ch7/p105 Deanna enters an old fashioned private club and plays poker; Guinan and Beverly bathe in alien milk, Beverly thinks of Picard joining her

p117 Escorting the saucer section to Picard with Guinan, a human, and a Deltan, Beverly captains while Deanna volunteers for first officer; Bynars are working on repairs

Ch12/p211 Picard offers to make Guinan an acting ensign, she declines citing a dislike of uniforms

Ch16/p264 Ro on Bajor, tired of fighting for the Maquis

[thegreaterlink]

Reviewing Star Trek TNG - S2E2 "Where Silence Has Lease"

^ This thing is absolute nightmare fuel.

THE PREMISE

While on a charting mission, the Enterprise stumbles upon an area of pure blackness in space. Any probes that they launch into it simply disappear. Suddenly the blackness expands and envelops the Enterprise, leaving them in a dark void with sensors reporting total nothingness outside. Captain Picard orders the ship on a return course, but they are unable to escape. They soon find themselves at the mercy of the void and the tricks it plays on them.

MY REVIEW

I wasn’t sure about this episode at first, since it doesn't have the best opening. The cold open in a Star Trek episode is meant to establish the conflict of the episode and make us curious about how it will unfold. Fade to black, cue the theme song, then into the actual episode. But this episode starts with Riker and Worf fighting off a group of aliens in what's revealed to be Worf's holodeck training program. This scene has absolutely zero bearing on the rest of the plot and tricks us into thinking that this episode is going to be something it isn't.

The actual plot begins when the Enterprise gets trapped in the void. Their scans reveal nothing, causing Dr Pulaski (who's on the bridge for some reason - but then again Bones did that all the time in TOS so this gets a pass) to question if Data is even capable of doing his job properly, even referring to him as "it" and giving an insincere-sounding apology. What vendetta does this woman have against androids?!

Anyway, I was concerned that the void was going to turn out to be a V'Ger clone, but it soon turns out that something more is at play when a Romulan Warbird suddenly decloaks and attacks them, but is obliterated by a single torpedo and leaves no debris behind. Picard rightly recognises how easy it was.

They're then approached by what I first thought was a duplicate of the Enterprise (probably because the exact same design was used) but it turns out to actually be its sister ship, the USS Yamato. They get no reply from the hailing frequencies and detect no life signs onboard, so Riker and Worf beam over to investigate. Things are immediately off when they're set to beam onto the ship's bridge but appear in a random hallway. They search the ship (which uses the exact same sets as the Enterprise to save money) and discover a number of inconsistencies, such as a non-functional computer and a bridge with doors which open onto itself in a spatial loop.

At the same time, the Enterprise is unable to get a transport lock on them when an opening appears, and Picard somewhat reluctantly lets it close instead of leaving Riker and Worf behind. Once the opening closes they're suddenly able to get a transport lock, and the Yamato fades away as Riker and Worf are beamed back to the ship, understandably wanting to know what's causing all this.

It's then that the entity behind it all reveals itself, explaining the nightmare fuel that is this review's top image. It identifies itself as Nagilum and explains its curiosity about humans and its desire to test the limits of the human body. It does this by killing Ensign Haskell, forcing him to experience violent convulsions and giving us this glorious reaction image.

Go forth and use it wisely.

Rather than satiate Nagilum's curiosity, Picard activates the ship's auto-destruct sequence. And to slip into "um, actually" mode for the second review in a row, Picard chooses to set the timer for twenty minutes, whereas in the Bynars episode it had been established that the timer was set at five minutes with no way of changing it. But this was understandably retconned to fit this episode's climax better.

Speaking of the climax, Picard is waiting in his study when he is confronted by Troi and Data. After Data asks him what death is and Picard answers as best he can, Data and Troi challenge his decision to destroy the ship. Picard realises something's amiss when they both address him as Jean-Luc, and it's revealed that they were illusions created by Nagilum to trick him into disabling the auto-destruct. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I was personally wondering why Data was asking such a random question in such a situation, but I thought that was just a flaw in the writing at first.

Suddenly the void disappears, and Picard orders them to get the hell out of Dodge. But in an excellently tense scene, as the countdown continues, nobody is sure if this is real or just another one of Nagilum's tricks. Once Picard is convinced, he disables the auto-destruct after all. Good stuff.

This episode strikes me as one of the most "Star Trek" episodes of TNG so far, with the crew dealing with a being far beyond their comprehension. Swap some characters around, and this would've felt right at home in the Original Series. But unlike with "Arsenal of Freedom", it doesn't feel like it's in the wrong series.

This episode was written by Jack B. Sowards, who co-wrote the best Star Trek movie, The Wrath of Khan, with Nicholas Meyer. So he had my respect even before this episode. It was also directed by Winrich Kolbe, who directed a total of 48 episodes of Star Trek across four series, with this being the first of the 16 he did for TNG. What a legend.

7/10 - Could've been better in some places (such as the opening), but still interesting.

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