#ref: rowan hale

[marimelwrites]

📔 (ALL OF THEM)

From this Diary Entry meme here!

All of the pairs are under the cut! Honestly, this was actually fun to write. Hopefully you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them all. Also, they may fall in various parts of their timelines! Have fun reading this @hcllriot.

Abraham & Rowan:

"Have you ever met a person who understands your love of one thing in particular? And then you totally fall for that person but don't know how to tell them? Because that's what happened to me. I met Abraham on one of my many trips for work. Seeing as I do photography, and it takes me everywhere, he does his whole travel vlogging thing. It had us cross paths, and honestly? It was one of the best things to happen to me. The thing is, I'm afraid that if I tell him that I've fallen for him, that he'll just disappear on me and then I won't see him again. I know, selfish, but... that's where we are. I'm selfish sometimes, and I can admit it. He just gets it, my love of traveling. My need to see the world. I don't have to explain that to him. It's just... more fun when he's there with me..."

Can & Madeleine:

"Well, I think I've finally done it. I've made a fool of myself in front of Can at one of my favorite places to go. Sometimes, I wish that I knew how to be more... normal. It's just that I didn't have a normal childhood, or really, a normal life at all. The truth is I don't make friends easily, I keep to myself, and the living things I get closest to tend to be the animals I work with because they don't ask me to be anything that I don't know how to be. They don't care about how socially awkward I might be, or if I say the wrong things. The thing is that Can is... he's comfortable talking to people, he's always been nice to me. I usually feel at ease around him, and that's difficult to do with me when it comes to men. In turn, he reminds me of the small things about my Turkish heritage that I remember and love.

I feel drawn to him. I just keep going back, and I like going back, even though I don't go for what everyone else goes for. Karaoke bars include two things I won't do, singing in public... I sing, but not in public. Then there's drinking, and I don't do that either. It's just that I like the atmosphere. I like seeing people having a good time. It's nice to go and talk to Can, even if it's a short conversation. But there I was, asking for tea, and so embarrassed I couldn't even look at him. Honestly, I'm an idiot. Never let me go around someone that I like, or think is attractive, because I will inevitably make myself out to look like a fool. If he ever wants to talk to me again, it'll be a miracle. I should probably avoid his bar for a while... maybe forever. God, that seems childish. Have I mentioned I'm an idiot? I really wish he wasn't so easy to like, or so handsome. Maybe then I might forget all about the stupid things I said, or did, around him. Maybe he'll forgive me for that..."

Ceren & Taner:

"That's it. She's perfect. Everyone in my family always talks about how Adem has such a sweet partner, a soulmate, she's so nice and perfect. They didn't think I'd ever find anyone because I can be a royal pain in the ass. Well, surprise! I found her, and she's perfect. The family hasn't met her, but I'll bet she is actual competition for how sweet Adem's girl is. Either way, there isn't a bad thing anyone can say about Ceren. If I'm being honest, I never thought I'd find someone that I wanted to spend my whole life with. Not to mention, I never thought I'd find someone who actually has the patience to deal with me, but I'm grateful. I don't know if Ceren will actually stick around, I can only hope. I'm doing my best to try not to fuck it all up.

I wish I could explain just how incredible she is. Looks aside, and believe me, she is gorgeous, there's just something about the way she looks at the world. The way she treats other people. The way she smiles. I'm getting sappy. I think I'm turning into a simp for her, and honestly? I'm not even a little bit embarrassed by that fact. If I could give her the damn moon, I would do it. Anything to get her to smile at me, and see me as someone she wants in her life forever. I swear I'm going to marry this girl."

Damian & Emery:

"I'm worried and I know it's my own fault. That's all my own doing. A long time ago, I swore that I would never fall in love with anyone. I swore that I would never let anyone close enough to hurt me and ruin me like my parents ruined each other before they got divorced. For the longest time, I did just that. It worked. I ended relationships right before feelings started and everything worked out perfectly. Then, I met Damian. The thing is, out of all the people that I've ever been with in the past, he's literally the one person who I should have avoided more than anyone else. If there were ever a neon sign that red RUN BEFORE YOU GET HURT in human form, it would be him.

The problem is... he's the one person on earth that I absolutely don't want to run from. He's the one person that I am willing to let completely destroy me just because I want to stay. It's too late now, I already have feelings for him. Even if I did walk away from him, it would hurt. So, I choose to stay. I'm just worried that I won't recover from the pain. I don't know what it is about him... he's just... it's complicated, and I don't know everything about him. He keeps people at arms length, but I want him. Not for bragging rights, or to say that I was the only person who managed to get him to open up, no. I want want him to be with me. To choose me. To want me too. I want him to open up and love me. I'm just worried that won't happen. Despite that, I still stay. I won't leave him. I can't leave him. I don't want to leave him."

Emre & Caria:

"Today I met the most infuriating, handsome, and yet fun man in the world. One would think that after a failed marriage, I would stay away from men. He sort of came into my life unexpectedly. I was trying to enjoy my life, my freedom, and here come Emre. I shouldn't be surprised that I would meet someone who makes me so annoyed, but also makes me laugh at the same time. Maybe it's the fact that he can tease me and make me laugh that intrigues me. I'm used to someone simply berating me. Instead, I find that we have banter that will go on back and forth. I wonder if he secretly hates me, I mean, we did only just meet for the first time but who knows.

Maybe we'll keep in touch, and see each other regularly, and he'll stay in my life. Then maybe we'll get to know each other really well. I would like that. I need someone with his energy in my life. It's a nice change from what I had before Emre showed up in my life. I don't know if I should tell him, maybe not. Either way, a more gorgeously annoying man has never existed. I really hope that I see him again."

Ezgi & Pierce:

"I was thinking that it's time to introduce Ezgi to my parents. I've invited her to some of my races, but I've never had her meet my parents. I don't know why, honestly, my parents would love her. Then again, my parents are super easy to get along with. They love everyone, just people who treat their only child well, get extra love. They would basically welcome her into the family with open arms, and then beg her to marry me. Personally, I just think it's because they want me to give them some grandkids, but that's just my assumption. I love my parents to pieces, though, and seeing them with Ezgi would be amazing, I know it.

The thing is, if I introduce her to my parents, that's basically my way of saying I want her in my life forever. And I do want her in my life forever, but is that going to freak her out? I don't know. Hopefully not. Man, I really love her, though. I can see it, the whole thing, our life. Her supporting my racing, me supporting her in anything she wants to do in life. Her as a permanent part of my family, and my parents spoiling her with attention and everything. I see it all with her. I'll just have to hope that she sees all of that with me too."

Jordan & Isolde:

"Of all the people for me to end up flirting with, and liking, it had to be this giant man who fights for a living. Here I am, this petite little thing, who doesn't know a thing about fighting, wanting to spend all her free time with a man so opposite in so many ways. I like him so much, though, that I don't even care. Honestly? I would go to every single fight, if he wanted me too, no matter how hard it would be for me to see him get hit. Maybe that's a lot too soon. Who knows where we'll go from here, and who knows what he wants out of us. Is there even really an us? I mean, I hope that there is, but I don't want to push my luck, really. I'll hope for the best, and enjoy the ride as it goes. In the mean time, can we just take a moment to appreciate that Jordan is.... wow, he's attractive. Men should not look as good as he does. It should be illegal. HE should be illegal."

Kerem & Emine:

"I love him. I know that I do. I was helpless where Kerem was concerned. I think I was always meant to love him. I'm not sure that he'll let me love him, though. He's so set on taking everything on alone. He's worried about other people hurting because of all he's gone through and has to go through, but he doesn't realize that sometimes people choose to endure the pain because the beauty of loving someone is worth the pain that can come with it. He is worth it all. I want him to let me help carry any of his burdens. I want him to let me help him feel less fear, worry, concern, whatever he might feel. I'm stronger than he thinks, and no matter what happens he doesn't need to feel guilt for whatever happens. I would much rather be at his side than on some sideline without any right to knowledge of how he's doing.

How can I tell him that no matter what happens I will always be grateful for him being a part of my life? He has a beautiful soul, he truly does, and I admire his need to protect others. I admire his incredible strength. However, I want to share my strength. I want to share my love, my care, my happiness, all of it. It doesn't matter if he doesn't let me in, I would feel his loss either way. So, in the end, wouldn't it be better to love him completely and be loved in return than not at all? I have never felt this level of love for anyone. It happened so slowly, gradually, but with the strength of a tidal wave that I couldn't have prevented it from taking me away if I had even wanted. And I didn't want to stop it, really. I love him, and I would proudly love him for the rest of my life."

Metin & Mediha:

"I'm so scared. There are things happening in my life, demons from my past that have returned, and I'm terrified of what will happen to me. I'm terrified that something horrible is going to happen and that this time I won't get away from it. Yet, despite all this fear, the one person who comes to mind that makes me feel safe is Metin. I'm not sure what he would think of this. I don't know why I feel so safe with him, but I do. I would like to think that he cared so much for me that he would want to protect me, but nobody has ever wanted to protect me from anything. I've always had to take care of myself. I could never assume that Metin would want to do what nobody else has ever wanted to do.

I know that part of that is because I've always liked him. I've liked him since the moment I first laid eyes on him. Serkan introduced us, and I knew that first instant when he took my breath away that I would never be the same again. I've returned to his deli countless times simply for the chance to see him, and be close to him for just a moment. That was all before my life got complicated once again. Now, any hope that perhaps some day he might feel for me what I feel for him, and any hope that he might see me as more than just a regular customer has been lost. Nobody could want someone so broken as I am. He deserves much better than me. Is it terrible that I still feel this small sliver of hope that maybe... just maybe, he might learn to love me? That he might be able to protect me like nobody else has before?"

Özgür & Catia:

"Seeing him again was like a shock to my system. Özgür... once, I had thought I was in love with him. I thought for sure that someday we would find a way to one another and we would be together forever. I had this silly little love story in my head where he was concerned. Then life took us in different directions. He went off to do the things he's doing, I went off in a whirlwind of pageants, and training, then modeling and traveling. Now, humanitarian efforts in between modeling gigs around the world. I never thought that life would eventually bring us back together, and yet, it did.

I think, even more shocking than seeing him again, was the fact that I felt his presence so strongly. All of those old feelings, and the dreams I'd had all came rushing back and I felt like that teenager I had been the last time we saw each other. I could have sworn that I'd outgrown those feelings. I'd had other men as distractions over the years, but somehow, seeing Özgür again, I realized that none of them compared. It seems so silly now. I sound like some young, naive, lovesick girl. I can't help it, he was always the one I thought I would end up with for the rest of my life."

Polin & Ilya:

"Ever since Polin entered my life, I have started to think of ways to change my life. I'm no longer thinking of a life alone, but a life with someone else. She is so strong, I think if anyone could handle the dangers that might come along with trying to have me exit this life that I was born into, it would be her. It seems crazy to me that I would find someone who urges me to rearrange my life for the sake of a safer and more peaceful one. I don't want to ask her to live a life with me, watching me commit the crimes that I have been trained to do. I wouldn't want her to accept me living this life for the rest of our time together. She would never be safe, and I would always fear for her safety, even if she has a chance at keeping herself safe.

I make this vow now. For Polin, I will finally find a way to get myself out of this life of crime. I will find a way to get us out of this safely, and be able to live a peaceful life on what money I have acquired. We would never have to work again. We could truly live multiple lifetimes on the money I have inherited and earned, but that's not what's truly important anyway. I want her to be safe. I want her to be happy. I want her to be both of those things with me. If she chooses me, then that's what I will do. I will give her everything she deserves."

Remington & Eren:

"If anyone would have told me that I would find someone who would fascinate me, who would make me want to learn more about them and spend as much time with them as possible, I would have called them a liar. I thought that I was relegated to the attractive man with a lot of money who women would only look to for one thing alone. Sex. It's what I'm good at, and women seemed to only ever look at me superficially. Of course, then I met Remy. From the first moment I met her, she never gave me the impression that she wanted sex from me. We talked, and I realized what I had been missing in interactions with countless women before. I felt like a regular person. I felt like someone who was more than what I had to offer. I wasn't a prize, I was an actual human being.

The thing is, I want to spend all of my free time with her. I know that she has lost her sight, and that she has a dog to assist her with that, but I don't care about that. She is still... god, she's beautiful. She's incredible. She's stronger than I think she will ever give herself credit for. I want to take care of her, and not because I pity her, because I know she can go through this life without me and be fine. I want to take care of her because I want to love her and maybe she can trust me enough some day to do so. I'm going to prove it to her. I'm going to be there for her, and show her that just because she can't see like she used to, that doesn't change anything. Not for me. For the one person on this earth who treats me like a human with emotions, I will give her the world if she lets me."

Roman & Cassandra:

"I wanted to scream at him. I'd found myself in so many places where I thought I would die, and this was just another one of those places. It's weird, I was so calm in that moment when I came face to face with him. It seemed like the world stopped, though. I know that it was likely just me. My world, this life that I ended up in and built around me, it never did do well for feelings, or emotions. I don't really believe in love at first sight. At least, I didn't. I'm absolutely stupid for seeing Roman and thinking... this stubborn, asshole of a man... is exactly who I want. I'd been happy in my life alone. Happy without ever knowing what that felt like. I was happy never knowing that there was a man in this world whom I could possibly want to be with. Then, here's this perfect stranger, and I automatically regretted going there to ask for his help. Maybe I'll be lucky and I'll die, and I won't have to go through life knowing that I probably won't ever see the man I want to be with ever again. It'll be better that I don't live to feel this little bit of emptiness. Dammit. I hate him for this. I hate fate. I hate human emotion. Why him, of all people?"

Zuri & Maddox:

"I hope that she knows she is the first person I have allowed in my life, aside from my twin, since the one person who ruined my life. I don't regret letting her in. I don't think that Zuri will hurt me like what happened in the past. It's strange, though, I'd forgotten what it felt like to care about someone so deeply. I'd forgotten what it felt like to want to shield them and protect them from the various things in this world that might harm them. It's fortunate that she never sought my wealth, that she seemed happy with my attention, and happy with me treating her well. God, the fact that I'd been so horrible to her and she still forgave me for it? I can't even begin to find the words to tell her what that means to me. She deserves all that is good, and I hope that she'll continue to let me do that for her. I never thought that I would say this... but she makes me incredibly happy, and she doesn't even have to try. I think if there's one thing I'll be able to be proud of, it would be gaining the love of this woman."

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