#redfield headcanon
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Resident evil Headcannons
because I can and no one can stop me
Albert Wesker speaks fluent German and very good Latin (cause... you know. Viruses and diseases). He just refuses to use the former.
Chris knows how to play the harmonica. I will not elaborate on the reasoning, he just looks like he knows.
Claire used to play the guitar, before Chris went missing and all hell broke loose. If you give her the insrtrument and a couple weeks she'll play some tunes :3
#resident evil#albert wesker#chris redfield#claire redfield#resident evil headcanon#resident evil hc#headcanon#albert wesker headcanon#claire redfield headcanon#chris redfield headcanon#re headcanon#wesker headcanon#redfield headcanon#re wesker#re redfield
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having a hyper fixation on a character that has no content is like being randomly very hungry in the middle of the night and going to the kitchen only to find out there’s absolutely nothing to eat but you’re literally so desperate and hungry so you eat even the smallest of crumbs
#resident evil#resident evil x reader#resident evil smut#leon kennedy smut#chris redfield smut#carlos oliveria smut#aot smut#aot x reader#snk x reader#snk smut#eren yeager smut#armin smut#reiner smut#reiner braun#kengan ashura headcanon#kenganverse#kengan ashura#kengan ashura smut#kengan ashura x reader#ohma tokita#watatsuki takeshi#kanoh agito#takayama minoru#hollis kure#attack on titan smut#attack on titan#levi ackerman smut#levi ackerman#erwin smith smut#smut meme
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SAY IT BACK ↪ letting them leave without an ily
finishing up some smaller things from my wip folder before i buckle down and work on the big stuff again. here's this doofy little fluff piece.
characters included: chris redfield, leon kennedy, jill valentine, ada wong
content: fluff. just fluff. established relationship. mildly ooc behavior for the sake of fluff (also known as being in a relationship and acting stupid)
You found it on TikTok - or maybe it was Instagram, or Facebook - doesn't matter. One of the media conglomerates had given you a horrible idea about how to tease your loving, devoted partner.
It's simple - when they said 'I love you' before they left for work, you just wouldn't say it back. What could go wrong?
Chris Redfield ↪
Did not notice. Secure. In his lane. Unbothered. Probably not moisturized. (Get him a nice oil, fragrance free. He'll like it more if you massage it into his muscles for him, spend a little extra time smoothing along the curve of his spine, up and over the tightness of his shoulders.)
If you're at the point with Chris where he's saying “I love you” in place of a goodbye, he doesn't need to hear you say it back. He's confident in your relationship. Hearing it is just a nice bonus.
You're going to get your own feelings hurt here. Sent yourself into a spiral. Like, damn, does he not listen? Does he not care? What the fuck is his deal?
Chris is legitimately confused when you bring it up to him later. Doesn't get the point of the whole thing. “Why wouldn't you just say you love me?” Head cocked to the side, so puppy-like you can practically see the velvety ears flopping over.
Really doesn't do the whole social media thing. Even when you show him videos as an example, he's just shrugging. "I'm pretty sure those are skits, honey. No one really reacts like that."
If only he knew. Hey - at least now you know that Chris is perfectly content in your relationship and won't let anything silly like this bother him. It's just a sign to ramp up the pranks - more practical jokes, less subtle, harmless emotional manipulation.
That's what you thought, at least, but when Chris flips the light off that night and sidles up behind you in bed, strong arms slipping around your middle and tugging you back to him, his voice rumbles in your ear - "You gonna tell me you love me, or is this gonna be a problem?"
And Chris is really good at extracting confessions. How badly do you actually want to get some sleep tonight?
Jill Valentine ↪
Doesn't seem to have noticed that you ignored her. Walked right out the door without missing a step, didn't even glance back. Her car pulls out of the garage, her sunglasses on - she seems entirely unbothered.
Oh, she’s bothered.
Jill Valentine is Not Petty™️. And she does not pout when her partner doesn't say ‘I love you’ back. She's in a pissy mood at work for a completely unrelated reason. She's not returning your texts because she's busy at work, not because she's trying (and failing) to give you a taste of your own medicine.
She definitely doesn't carry that storm cloud all the way home with her, doesn't rain on your parade when you cheerfully announce that dinner's ready and on the table.
You're trying everything you can think of to cheer her up. Asking about work got you a noncommittal shrug. You'd offered to draw a bath for her - or (preferably) for the both of you, but she'd dismissed the idea, talking about how it would take up too much time.
She didn't have the heart to shrug you off when you started massaging her shoulders. Despite your silence in the morning, you were clearly intent on taking care of her. Maybe nothing was wrong. Maybe you just hadn't heard her.
Her palm presses against your cheek, turns you to face her. She searches your eyes for a moment, her gaze unreadable. "Thanks for dinner. I love you."
Nothing. Fucking nothing. "You're welcome."
Jill knows that look on your face, that shit-eating grin that you're trying to cover up by glancing down, by pretending to be flustered. Her hands grip your hips. She manhandles you into her lap, chair scraping against the floor to make room for the both of you.
"Okay - spill. What's up with you?"
Once you explain, she's not mad about the whole thing, not really. But you can't help but notice that she's been withholding kisses lately, and-- wait.
Fuck. Now she's turned the tables on you.
Leon Kennedy ↪
Keeps finding new and inventive ways to double back inside the house. He's not going to outright ask you what's up - that would make him look desperate, which he’s totally not. He’s definitely not concerned at all that you didn’t complete your morning ritual and send him out the door with an ‘I love you’. He’s a big boy - this isn’t high school, this is his very mature, very adult relationship.
Excuse number one: “Sorry, forgot my keys,” as he makes a show of dropping his keys out of his pocket, onto the living room floor. His eyes are on you when he reaches to grab them. Leon tosses them in his hand, making as much noise as he possibly can. “All right, love you.”
You hold strong. Still no ‘love you’ back. He’s gone for all of 60 seconds when he comes back with excuse number two: “Ah, damn, forgot my badge. I’d lose my head if it wasn’t attached.”
His badge is attached to his belt. You can literally see it. When you point that out to him, he makes a show of being relieved, goes so far as to press a kiss to your temple, and says, “God, what would I do without you? Love ya. Have a good day.”
But you hold strong. Until excuse number three:
“Babe, have you seen my gun?”
You laugh, which only makes him laugh - and then he hits you with ‘no, seriously’ while he leans against the doorway, hip cocked. He’s got you figured out by now, knows that if he can make you laugh then you’re not doing this because you’re mad at him or anything. He can't even be mad when you explain it to him. He can only warn you:
"I'm gonna get you for this. Now, c'mon - say it."
Ada Wong ↪
I don't know why you would do this to her to be honest. She just said ‘I love you’. You should be marking your calendar and turning this into a holiday.
She doesn't say it often, at least not while you're conscious. Whether she presses her sentiments into your hair while you sleep against her, drooling against her collar bone, is up for debate. You have no hard evidence and she'll deny the allegations.
It simultaneously is and is not a big deal. She didn't say it because she craved the validation of having you repeat it to her. She said it because she meant it. There's so few concrete truths about herself that she can share with you, but that was one of them. Does it sting a little not to have it returned? Maybe.
She turns the moment over and over in her head, letting it haunt her. You had given her time, she thinks, why can't she give you yours? But your silence is a specter that tinges every moment. It creeps at the edges of every thought, it–
“Hey, you forgot your coffee.”
She turns to see you in the door of your apartment, hanging from the frame with one hand, her cup extended to her in the other. She clicks back to you in her stilettos, and your press a kiss to her cheek when she claims her drink. The guilt of it all ate at you before you could let her leave your sight. “Love you. Be safe.”
She'd spiraled before she even got down to the parking lot. Total loser in love.
#leon kennedy x reader#chris redfield x reader#jill valentine x reader#ada wong x reader#resident evil x reader#resident evil fluff#resident evil headcanons#leon s kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x you#chris redfield x you#jill valentine x you#leon kennedy#jill valentine#chris redfield#ada wong#leon kennedy fluff
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could you do aftercare hcs for the resident evil men and women?
aftercare (resident evil men)
im dropping the other half with this one i promise 🙏. anyways obviously some nsfw themes so mdni and this is not proofread. include; albert wesker, leon kennedy, chris redfield, carlos oliveira, and ethan winters.
albert wesker:
he's not the best at it
to be fair you are probably the first person he cares about
wesker just lacks the experience with aftercare
if you bring it up he'll def start making more of an effort
he will leave immediately for work
wesker's arms are around you. he's holding you close, you can feel his breath on your neck. your hands comb through his blonde hair, disheveled from the night's activities. you're covered in hickeys, your hips have bruises from his grip. as the two of you sit in the silence, about to fall asleep, his phone goes off.
he sighs as he moves out of your touch in order to check. you watch his face, his jaw clenches in frustration as he reads the message.
"i'm sorry," is all he says as he gets up, getting dressed. just like that, with a kiss on your forehead, he's gone.
leon kennedy:
leon is a gentleman
he's such a sweetheart to you afterwards
he insists on cleaning up
leon is constantly wanting to improve
sometimes it feels like he's asking for a performance review
"are you okay?" he asks. leon takes a wash cloth and gently cleans the mess he left between your thighs. you nod your head at him, running your fingers through his hair.
"yeah, i'm fine," you reply back to him. he hums in response as he finishes cleaning up before he clears his throat.
"so uh, how did i do?" he asks somewhat sheepishly. you giggle at him, pulling him in for a kiss.
"leon, i can barely walk, you did amazing." he smiles at your response.
chris redfield:
king
everything about chris is huge so he's always taking such good care of you after sex
he's making sure he wasn't too rough
expect a bubble bath and massage from him
and he's gonna wanna cuddle after all of that
the two of you sit in the warm bathtub, chris is behind you as he helps clean you up. his touch is gentle as he places kisses along your shoulders.
you are relaxed into his touch, his hands gently massage shampoo into your scalp. any knots from your muscles disappear with his touch.
"you did so good for me," he mumbles into your skin as he kisses over the marks left behind. you smile and hum, moving just enough to capture his lips with yours.
carlos oliveira:
he's not big on like doing an entire bubble bath
however like chris everything about carlos is huge so he'll make sure you're okay
carlos is another one who can get rough in the heat of the moment
he'll plant a kiss on every mark to 'kiss it better'
big cuddler too
"you okay?" carlos asks, he's still hovering above you, looking down. you smile and nod, pulling him in for a kiss.
you pull away to give him an actual answer, "i've never been better." he chuckles at your words as he moves to get off you.
as he flops down next to you, he's quick to pull you against his bare chest. you rest your head, listening to his heartbeat. you let out a yawn, your exhaustion was evident. carlos smiled, kissing the top of your head and rubbing your back to encourage you to sleep.
ethan winters:
another sweetheart
ethan whimpers is a bottom, just need to get that off my chest
you are probably cleaning him up
however he is all over you after that
expect so many kisses and cuddles from him
you press a kiss to ethan's forehead as you climb off of him, his face is flushed as he catches his breath. you're quickly cleaning him up, he whimpers a little from your touch. you smile up at him, pressing another kiss to the side of his face.
once you return, he's wrapped around you. he buries his head into the crook of your neck, leaving soft kisses there. the feeling of his breath tickles, and you laugh a little as you pull him close.
"i love you so much," he mumbles against your skin as he falls asleep in your arms.
#resident evil#resident evil x reader#resident evil headcanons#chris redfield#albert wesker#leon kennedy#carlos oliveira#ethan winters#albert wesker x reader#leon kennedy x reader#chris redfield x reader#carlos oliveria x reader#ethan winters x reader#albert wesker headcanon#chris redfield headcanon#leon kennedy headcanons#carlos oliveira headcanon#ethan winters headcanon
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omgomgomg, resident evil boys with reader who ALWAYS falls asleep on them. Like they could just be sitting next next to each other watching a movie or even at a RESTAURANT and then they feel a weight on their shoulder and reader is just snoozing
AAAAH oh my god I totally love this idea and I also oved writing it. Thank you so much anon for this and I hope you'll like it 🥰 I also do commissions if y'all are interested 💖
Both of you were in the lab late at night, waiting for some results. Wesker was sitting in front of a microscope, analizing a sample, and you were right next to him, completing a report. Only the sound of your keyboard could be heard in the room, as you typed rigorously.
"Hey Wesker," you said, yawning. "How much 'till the results come up?"
"They should be ready any minute now. If you want, go rest. I'll finish around."
"No, it's fine. I want to keep you company."
Maybe you were tired and were hallucinating, but you swear you saw Wesker smile. It wasn't a big one, just a satisfying smirk that appeared on his face.
Wesker paid no mind to you and kept observing the molecules. He liked when you were seeking his attention, and he often would play clueless to your hints just to toy with you. He had a satisdic pleasure to see you sweat over your own emotions and insecurities, especially when they were a direct result of your interactions.
While being consumed by his own ego,
While observing the chain reactions, he felt something heavy leaning on his shoulder.
He peeked over his shoulder and saw your head, which was laying heavy. You were long gone in the dreamland.
"Y/N," he said, but there was no reaction. He noticed that you were in a deep slumber and didn't have the heart to wake you up.
"I told them to go to sleep," he murmured. "They always end up like this."
He slowly moved his arms under your shoulders and knees and lifted you up, heading to the nearest bedroom. That was one of the advantages of working in a mansion.
He slowly placed you on the soft mattress, caressed your head a few times, removing some strands of hair from your face, and left, closing the door slowly behind him. He also left some coffee and a note saying that he would handle the rest of the procedure and to continue your day as usual.
Despite his cold attitude towards you, he cares for you, and he misses you when you're not around. He will never admit that, tho, not to you or even to himself.
Staying up late to complete reports isn't a fun activity unless you do it with somebody you like.
Leon's fingers typed rigorously on the keyboard while you were next to him, helping with the details.
"The fight with the knights was before or after I reunited with Ashley?"
"After... and then you got in the castle to find Luis..."
"Right"
He felt the fatigue and boredom taking over his body, his eyelids closing, but he trespassed to give his body a quick boost so he could take another sip of coffee.
He peeked at you and noticed that you weren't rested either. I mean, you were in the same village, doing the same thing: rescuing the president's daughter, and it wasn't like somebody pated your shoulders and told you to go rest because you deserved it. No, you took a quick nap at home, and then you had to finish the rest of your assignments just like a regular day.
Leon continued writing because he knew that the sooner he'd finish, the faster you could go to sleep.
Suddenly, he felt something heavy leaning over his shoulder. When he turned around, he saw your head resting on him. He looked at you with half-lidded eyes and thought, "this must be nice," and smiled.
He gently caressed your head a few times and then went back to his writing.
A few minutes passed, and you jumped, sending a powerful shock to your numbed body. You immediately regained consciousness and looked around, seeing Leon in the same spot but with a smirk over his face.
"Slept well?"
"Yeah, your shoulder is very comfy," you said, rubbing your eyes.
"At least this is what I can do: provide a comfy shoulder," he chuckled.
You wrapped your arms around his and leaned again over him, this time without falling asleep. He smelt so nice and was so clean.
"Ashley wasn't rescued again until after you killed Ramon," you said as your eyes quickly scanned the report.
"Thanks." He smiled and kissed your head. You stayed glued to him like that until you both fell asleep.
You were having a well-deserved rest in the comfort of your home after long, long months of working. Luis put a film on the TV, bought some snacks, and poured two glasses of wine.
"There you go, love," he said as he handed you your glass and sat next to you.
"Thank you," you said, giving him a warm smile. "It's nice being you with you like this, you know, not being surrounded by dead bodies and viruses."
"Tell me about it! I can't remember the last time I had a normal night. It's been so long!"
You were both sleep-deprived and burned out, and you barely kept your eyes open. The ideal date was falling asleep in his arms, but he wanted to do something a little nicer.
The movie just started, and you sat very comfortably in Luis's embrace. His arm was wrapped around your body, and you were leaning on him.
"Great choice, y/n." he said as he kissed your forehead gently. He pressed a long, lingering kiss before moving his eyes to the screen. He loved feeling your presence and the warmth of your body. It eased his soul.
Suddenly, he felt something heavy leaning on his chest. He quickly lowered his gaze and saw that you had fallen asleep.
"My love," he chuckled, pressing another kiss on your head.
He took another sip of wine and stared blankly at the TV. A powerful feeling of sadness overwhelmed him all of a sudden. Maybe he was just tired; maybe all of the feelings he swept tunder the rug were coming out, who knows, but he was sure of one thing: he didn't want to lose you. Luis took a deep breath and tightened his embrace. You were there, and that was what mattered to him.
His vision started to blur, the actor's lines were nonsense, and they talked gibberish. His whole body felt heavy, and in a few moments, he joined you in the dreamland, trying to find you in your dreams.
After a long day of training, you two decided to eat in the cafeteria and talk about the day.
You were sitting next to him on the comfortable sofa, eating leftover cake.
"This is still good," you said, taking another bite.
"I don't know how you can eat that. I've been sitting here all day," he said, making a grimace while looking at the cake.
"Stop being a hater for once and enjoy the simplest things in life. You might die tomorrow."
"That might kill you today."
You scoffed and shoved the rest of the cake into your mouth ostentatiously. He rolled his eyes.
"You can be so stubborn sometimes."
"I know, but luckily for me, you have patience."
You nugged his shoulder, and you caught him smirking.
You began talking about the day, the government, and even random stuff like trends and articles. Krauser was very different when he wasn't on the job. He talked more freely, he swore often, and he even laughed more, but when he did, it was full of satisfaction and life. He meant it.
He kept talking about how the government is corrupted, and you often agreed with him.
"I admire you, tho." He began. "You don't take anyone's bullshit. You fight back."
Silence.
"I know maybe I dumped a lot of things on you right now, but to be honest, I don't trust many people. I also..." he sighed, "...enjoy your presence."
The prolonged silence made him paranoid. Suddenly, he felt something heavy leaning on his shoulder, and when he peeked, he noticed you fell asleep.
"Do I bore you too?" he whispered. "Heh, I guess all superiors have this effect." He smirked and closed his eyes.
He cared about you more than he'd like to admit. He sees the potential in you, and he hopes that some day you will be able to make a change, as he feels it's too late for him due to his age. Because of that, he is harsher with you during training and missions.
He followed you shortly, snoring as he fell deep into the slumber.
He wanted to take you out to dinner, so he chose his favourite bar, where they serve the best steak. The football game was playing in the background, and the people were cheering and clinking their beers. A lot of noise was around you, but regardless, Chris was giving you all of his attention.
You stayed next to him as you two ate. You felt so safe with him, so peaceful. Chris tried not to give too many details about his missions, so he would gossip about what was going on with his team, who fought with whom, and what his superiors told him—the bare minimum.
"Are you sure there's nothing more you want to tell me?" you asked, interrupting him mid-sentence. Even if the tea was juicier than the steak (lots of betrayals, make-up, fights), you felt like he was hiding something.
"Hmmm... yeah, I'm pretty sure. Don't stress too much about it; I'm fine." He kissed your cheek and returned to his plate.
The national team scored a goal. The crowd was cheering and yelling, enhancing the bustle and excitement that was already in the bar.
You didn't notice the noise anymore; you got used to it. Chris' presence was making you drowsier than usual, probably because you also have your stomach full now.
"I didn't expect so many people today; otherwise, I would've cooked at home," he said in a slightly annoyed tone as he was looking around the room. "But the important thing for me is that you fee-" he said in a more cheerful tone, but was cut off mid-sentence again when he felt something heavy leaning over his shoulder. He peeked and smiled when he saw that you fell asleep.
"Look at that; I didn't know it was possible," he chuckled.
Chris remained still, as he didn't want to wake you up.
Everything he does, it's just for you. He goes on those missions just to make sure that the world is one step closer to being safe. He doesn't recognise the line between his own fantasies and reality, but every time he steps out of that door, he goes with a full heart because he knows that every time he comes back, you'll wait for him with a warm meal and a warm smile.
#resident evil#albert wesker#chris redfield#leon kennedy#luis serra#jack krauser#resident evil headcanons#albert wesker x reader#chris redfield x reader#luis serra x reader#leon kennedy x reader#jack krauser x reader#fluff#resident evil 4 remake
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#ethan bites his fingers! that's my headcanon...#chris redfield#ethan winters#leon s kennedy#my art#doodle#re#resident evil
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Headcanon/Preference # 36
Gifs NOT mine.
Year posted - 2024
Rating - SFW (some subtle NSFW)
Reading time (roughly) - 4 minutes
• Leon S. Kennedy •
• Leon loves it for so many reasons. Firstly it's because of just how pretty it makes your lips, so kissable and shiny. Secondly he loves it because you love it, plain and simple, he's an amazing boyfriend.
• Leon not only likes seeing what new lip gloss you buy, but he also honestly enjoys going with you to pick out new lip gloss. But he will point out when you've obtained a bit too much lip gloss, and very very subtlety try to coax you into not buying more for a bit, at least until your stockpile has dwindled a bit.
• Leon never knew about plumping lip gloss until after you'd applied it, and kissed him later on. He was so shocked by it, and so confused at first. He grew to love it, but if he's being honest, his favorites are the ones that give your lips a unique tone. Like greys, purples, blues, and oranges.
• Jack Krauser •
• Jack honestly loves it so much it feels very out of character for him. Like he's borderline obsessed with how it looks on you, and even with how it feels when you kiss. So he's always stealing kisses whenever you reapply it.
• He buys you new lip gloss all the damn time. You could have hundreds, and he'd be still buy atleast one more. He especially likes plumping lip gloss, and how it makes your kisses feel electric.
• Jack especially loves how it feels when you kiss his scars while wearing lip gloss. I mean he loves it even without the lip gloss, but with it it's just that much better. Plus it makes it feel like your kisses are lingering on his skin, and he lives for that.
• Albert Wesker •
• Wesker honestly kinda hated it in the beginning of your relationship. He likes how it looks, well he loves it actually. But didn't much care for the feeling of it when you'd kiss.
• Eventually however he grew to appreciate it in a way. It was just another part of you by this point, and if for whatever reason you aren't wearing it when he steals a kiss, he'll just immediately assume something is wrong.
• Sometimes Wesker will forget to wipe off the lip gloss you left behind after a kiss. And when someone makes a stupid comment about it, he might just remark about how he's also got your lip gloss smears on his dick, just to shut them up... Even if it's true.
• Chris Redfield •
• Chris won't lie, he hates it. He likes how it looks on you, and he likes that it makes you happy and all. But Chris simply can't stand the way it feels, to him it just feels oily and gross. You end up getting into the habit of wiping it off his lips for him after every kiss.
• He doesn't mind it in the end, and won't try to convince you to stop wearing it. It's something you like, so he'll tolerate it for you with little complaint. He'll also compliment you whenever he notices you're wearing a new shade.
• Sometimes Chris just likes to take his thumb and run it across your bottom lip. And just watching the lip gloss smear is almost sensual in a way, it definitely feels very intimate that's for sure, but sometimes it almost feels more than just intimate.
• Luis Sera •
• Luis adores it so so much. Your lips are so soft from all the lip gloss use, and now his lips are so much softer from kissing you all the time, and simply never wiping the lip gloss off of his lips. Plus your lip gloss makes your kisses even sweeter.
• Totally keeps an extra tube of lip gloss in his pocket on the off chance you forget yours, or if you happen to loose yours. And yes the one he carries is definitely one of your absolute favorites, and he most likely bought it for you in the first place.
• Luis really enjoys when you pepper his face and neck with kisses, smearing your lip gloss over his warm skin, it feels like a kiss that'll last forever. And he craves more every single time. He's also totally the type to try your lip gloss out for himself, probably with you present even.
• Lucas Baker •
• Similar to Wesker, Lucas hated it from the very beginning... He also likes the way it looks, how shiny and appealing it makes your lips. But he never could stand the feeling of it, even when you'd kiss his cheek.
• Unlike Wesker on the other hand, Lucas still fucking hates it, with a goddamn passion he hates it. And he will literally (and dramatically) wipe his mouth of it after every single kiss, even when he was the one to initiate the kiss in the first place.
• Lucas will 1,000% try to convince you to stop wearing lip gloss. If he can't convince you to stop wearing it all together, he'll at least try to convince you to stop wearing it so much. He will throw a bit of a fit if you won't give it up. He also groans and rolls his eyes whenever you buy new lip gloss of course.
• Billy Coen •
• Billy teases the hell out of you for wearing lip gloss all the time, but don't let him fool ya, he loves it. It makes you look extra cute, especially when you're reapplying it. Plus it feels nice and silky, so it's a win win in his book.
• Despite his teasing, Billy enjoys watching you apply your lip gloss. Sometimes he'll tease you about making a mess, and intentionally smear it real bad. Afterwards stealing a quick kiss of course. And sometimes he'll just randomly get you a new lip gloss and be like it made me think of you. He's so cute it's annoying sometimes.
• Will beg you to keep your lip gloss on when y'all get down an dirty, especially if you're going to give him head. Then he'll tease you for leaving lip gloss smears on him, and then get salty if you try wiping it away.
This ones been sitting in my drafts since last year! Totally forgot about it, and I hadn't finished it, until like 10 minutes ago. ┐( ̄ヮ ̄)┌ Anyways I hope you enjoyed. I originally wanted it to be longer, but I'm content with it the way it is.
#resident evil#leon kennedy#jack krauser#Albert wesker#chris redfield#Luis Sera#lucas baker#billy coen#resident evil x reader#leon kennedy x reader#jack krauser x reader#albert wesker x reader#chris redfeild x reader#luis sera x reader#lucas baker x reader#Billy coen x reader#Headcanons#resident evil headcanons#fluff#leon kennedy x you#Jack krauser x you#albert wesker x you#chris redfield x you#Luis Sera x you#Lucas Baker x you#Billy coen x you#resident evil x you#leon kennedy headcanons#Jack krauser headcanons#albert wesker headcanons
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Yandere S.T.A.R.S Team (Resident Evil) platonic headcanons
Note- I am back (It's been years), this has been in my drafts so I said fuck it/this is so messy and the timeline/canon may not be accurate but enjoy! This is mainly platonic, but w/some characters it could be interpreted romantically
Characters; Albert Wesker, Chris Redfield, Jill Valentine, Rebecca Chambers, Barry Burton, Joseph Forest, Brad Vickers, Forest Speyer, Richard Aiken, Enrico Marini, Kenneth Sullivan, Edward Dewey
The first person you perhaps meet is Albert; he is the leader of the S.T.A.R.S Team. Not only do all the recruiters get approved by him, but he also overlooks all your tests. He greets you like any other, but gradually something takes a hold of him. He's in denial at first, even seeming harsh. You may initially believe he didn't like you; oblivious to the countless files and cameras hidden everywhere.
Having the rest of the team be just as enamored was not on the table. You are immediately welcomed by the team and Rebecca is the first to befriend you since you two are the youngest of the team. Like how Richard was tasked with watching over Rebecca, he’s tasked with the same responsibility over you (even if Wesker preferred to do it himself).
Chris can't help but grow quickly fond of you. He positions himself in the role of your protector; feeling the utmost responsibility for your happiness and safety. So if you have any problems - whether it's with Chief Irons or getting in trouble for say, breaking a rule; trust he'll be quick to intervene and 'save' the day.
You're all Chris ever talks about to Claire and before long, the two of you cross paths. Claire, like her brother assumes herself in the role of being your friend right away. She occasionally pays you visits and you can be sure that you will receive calls from times when she's unable to visit. Claire expects Chris to keep her informed of you at all times.
Barry, Enrico, and Kenneth all take fatherly roles; they look at you and already placed adopted papers on the table ready for you to sign. It makes it all the harder for Wesker to have any absolute control as they all put their foot down.
Barry adores you and it’s not taken lightly when it’s said he treats you as his child, probably cause he views you as actually one of his own. He invites you to a family dinner, introducing you to his family who all naturally take a liking to you. Barry insists on his house always being open if you need a place to stay or run into trouble.
Since Barry sees you as his own, there is a never-end to his dad jokes. Even when you comment on how terrible it is, he likes seeing the smile on your face. Trust you'll be invited to every birthday, barbecue, or any family Burton event.
Enrico while he adopted a fatherly role, he was a bit reluctant to get so attached to you. He’s the few in the team who's fully aware and doesn't hesitate to call out the others when he thinks they are going too far. He worries a lot about your safety, and most times it's Enrico who comes out on top of arguments on who gets to drive you home.
Kenneth as the oldest of the team, feels the most responsible for you. He is aware just like Enrico and doesn't wish for you to be scared of him or the team. He wants you to come to him whenever you need anything, even for small tasks such as finding a specific file. Like Enrico, Kenneth has no problem telling the others to back off if you need space.
More trouble comes along when Forest and Joseph come along. They develop their tendencies the quickest and tend to be the most clingy out of the team. They (along with Chris) become your partners in crime.
Joseph is someone you can always count on to make you smile even in the most serious of situations; he doesn’t care when others lecture him for it. You're not safe from his teasing. Granted you're not the target of his pranks but he likes to poke fun at you from time to time. It's why no alarms are ringing in your head when he says something questionable, assuming he’s just being Joseph.
You're not safe from Forest's playful teasings either. He can be a little annoying, poking your cheek or trying to tickle you when wanting your attention. Like Joseph, he's very affectionate, putting his arm around your shoulder and resting his head on your lap if you allow it. The others lecture him for doing it so publicly but Joseph knows it's jealousy talking more than anything.
As said, a squad of its own is formed; Chris, Joseph, Forest, and you. While they tend to be jealous, the three are okay with sharing when it comes to each other. Forest and Chris enjoy competing in shoot training and showing off who can do it better, inviting you to place bets. They're happy to show you all the gun's tricks and let you choose your weapon's signature.
Joseph, being a mechanic, can't always spend as much time with you. But he'll eagerly drag you into teaching you the ropes, whisking you away from the other two. He beams with pride when you grasp something from his impromptu lessons. Even if he's not exactly teaching you anything, he's happy to chat about anything as he works.
Jill becomes someone you’re close to, someone whom Chris and Barry trust to leave you alone with. She’s not afraid to whisk you away from the others when she wants to and won’t hesitate to call out anyone selfishly taking your time (Uhm Joseph).
Most of all, Jill loves having girl time with you. She's there for any fashion advice, gladly taking you shopping to revamp your wardrobe. If you're unsure how to do your makeup, she's eager to help, though Jill never wants to teach you so you can keep coming to her.
Jill is also willing to use any excuse to have you stay over at her place anytime even suggesting sharing an apartment to ‘save money”. And if you think Wesker’s the only one with a bunch of files, Jill has a hidden drawer filled with everything she has on you.
Brad becomes incredibly attached but is a bit shy about approaching you. He'll do little things to make your day better, like bringing your favorite coffee (watching you do it too many times) or organizing your desk just the way you like it.
Brad tries to agree with everything you do, supporting any ideas you bring forth in, team meetings and hesitates to snitch on you, always trying to talk to you first to prevent trouble (aka punishments). Similar to Kenneth, he's aware of his tendencies and doesn't want you to fear him.
Richard is the softest guy on the team as said, was tasked with watching over you and quickly grew fond of you, He has made it well known that if you ever need help you can seek him out even when you get in trouble, he’ll gladly keep it hidden from the others to avoid you being in trouble even taking the brunt of it.
If you find yourself spending time with Richard, trust that Rebecca is there, too, being the sweetest in the group as well. Initially, she might not fully grasp her tendencies, but once she does, her sole concern is your safety and happiness. She frowns upon hearing Jill and Chris discussing ways to keep you confined and is the one who tries to reassure the others not to be too 'harsh' on you.
Edward may appear intimidating, but he's actually a softie at heart. While he might not warm up to you as quickly as Forest and Joseph did, given some time, he grows fond of you and eventually places him as your trusted friend. He's aware that his demeanor can be intimidating and desires nothing more than for you to feel comfortable opening up to him, always offering a smile whenever he sees you around the RPD.
----------------------------------------------
Chief Irons has learned that you're the one person he can't even dare to go near. You might be a troublemaker, breaking every rule in the book, but Albert will put his foot down to ensure nothing comes of it. It's enough that the rest of the team has a dislike towards Irons, and he, along with everyone in the RPD, knows that crossing you means crossing the Stars team.
Wesker also keeps the extent of his monitoring and knowledge of you a closely guarded secret. He's aware that Kenneth, Enrico, Richie, Edward, and Barry all vocally dislike the idea of 'stalking' you in such ways (they all do but try to keep it as ‘morally right’). In his grand plan, he hopes to lure you away, but he must do it in a way that won't raise suspicion.
You have the most protective people watching over you. Even a simple accident like someone spilling a cup on you puts everyone on high alert.
Your favoritism doesn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the RPD, sparking rumors around the station that Edward and Barry quickly shut down whenever they hear someone bad-mouthing you.
Chris and Forest, on the other hand, can be incredibly impulsive, leading to all sorts of issues that Wesker and Enrico have to deal with. Jill and Joseph even got in trouble once for punching someone.
That means going on no dangerous missions; the one thing they all agree on. Wesker ensures that all your missions are carefully managed, eliminating any risks of you being in danger, and he pretends not to know what you mean if you ask. The other members are willing to gaslight you, suggesting that you just happen to get the easy ones, even Rebecca and Brad.
They're all eager to fight each other to train you, each claiming they're better at teaching you self-defense. Chris and Forest are the ones who usually end up teaching you since they're often the first ones to arrive. But everyone knows that if Wesker insists on training you, they can't object. And it's probably for the best, as some (Uhm Richard, and Edward) will pretend to lose or go easy on you because they don't want to "hurt" you.
The team normally doesn’t go out, but they all want to spend time with you. Usually, all of you go to diners (except for Wesker, wonder why). There's a little argument over who should order you to prove who knows you the best.
Your seat is chosen to please everyone, sometimes between Jill and Chris, other times between Richard and Rebecca. Another silent argument happens when they debate on who should pay for you; Enrico succeeds by slipping the payment to the waiter when the others aren’t looking.
Everyone always makes sure you come home safe. You expect numerous calls from everyone checking up on you. They all secretly know you're fine, as they're in cahoots with each other, but they just want to hear your voice.
There's also a chance that if Richard, Forest, or Jill are the ones bringing you home, they'll make some excuse about needing to stay overnight because they're tired or the weather is bad.
If you need someone to drive you to the station or pick you up, perhaps because you can’t drive, they're all willing to fight each other once again to do so. They've left important meetings or appointments countless times just to rush to your aid. It's almost always Wesker, Richard, Enrico (and sometimes Chris) who beat the others in picking you up.
Once again, you're always taken to events that the teammates have. Brad is getting takeout, he's on his way to pick you up since he assumes you're also hungry. Forest wants to go out for a drink, prepare for him to be at your door, and when you attend together, he’s protecting your drink with his life and will even pretend to be your boyfriend. Barry has a baseball game he wants to attend, so why not come with him and his family.
Jill needs to pick up a new outfit or something in the way, she decides to take you as well. Rebecca comes along, and sometimes the three of you have spa days in the process. Rebecca also loves going on road trips with you; there needs to be a person or two with you to ensure nothing bad happens. Rebecca once brought you to her favorite team's basketball game and the two of you shared those nachos and fries. It was Rebecca's happiest memory.
Movie nights are a must. Brad and Edward agree with anything you wish to watch, while Jill and Joseph are fighting over which ones to watch. Chris and Forest are trying to get your attention more than actually watching a movie. Meanwhile, Rebecca is actually enjoying the movie and wants to talk to you about it later on. She and Richard ensure you have your popcorn, and Richard brings your favorite bakery treats.
Expect to be always praised when you're around the team. Wesker himself praises you for a job well done whenever you find a clue or bring him the right file. Richard, Edward, and Rebecca are the most vocal. Also expect Chris and Barry to give you a pat on the back, while Forest and Joseph jokingly pat your head.
Wesker has you as his right-hand assistant, even when it’s not officially confirmed as such. You're tasked to help and stay by him whenever he needs assistance. He pretends not to see everyone side-eyeing him when he places your desk right next to his, but then again, they all ignore his stare when they come to your desk for whatever excuse they need.
The best people to comfort you are Barry, Enrico, Kenneth, and Richard. These men hate seeing you in tears. Brad will try to make you laugh while hugging you, while also finding the right words to comfort you. You can lie to Enrico, and he'll still know; he's memorized your body language, pulling you into an immediate hug before the tears even come.
Kenneth's ability to comfort shines in giving the best advice and solving any issues you have. Richard will sit next to you and listen; it could be the middle of the night, and he'll gladly answer any call or stay up to do any activities that will cheer you up.
Something everyone has huge arguments about is punishments; it gets heated at times. These discussions are, of course, not done in your presence.
Wesker is open to punishments, Chris and Jill agree with precautions, and Barry may reluctantly agree but claim he wants nothing to do with it. Brad and Rebecca voice their disagreement but can’t really intervene. Edward and Richie, like Barry, say they want nothing to do with it. Forest and Joseph don’t like it but will let the others make the decisions. Enrico and Kenneth are the most vocal against such decisions.
-------------------------------------------
Everything is going well in the team until the mansion incident.
You had to be with the Alpha team, unaware of the fate that fell upon the Bravo team, as there was no way Wesker would have let you out of his sight.
You had to witness Joseph get mauled by the zombie dogs, and if it weren’t for Wesker shooting the one coming at you and Chris pulling you along, you may have been a victim of it. Getting into the mansion has them immediately checking for injuries, only to realize you are just shaken up.
If you try to suggest coming along with Chris to check on what’s happening, Wesker immediately disapproves, even pulling rank to have you stay by him, and Jill agrees. Chris assures you he'll be just fine.
Things happen and it may lead you to be separated from Wesker and Jill. It makes all of them panic and look for you. Chris is nervous but assumes you must be with either Wesker or Jill. Jill and Wesker are trying to remain calm as they search. There is a chance you will meet Rebecca, who informs you of Edward's death, and this leads to you reuniting with Chris.
Alternatively, you may come across Barry, who refuses to leave your side, leading you to reunite with Jill. Both scenarios will have you meeting Richard, who immediately embraces you upon seeing you safe. You may also encounter Enrico, who seems hesitant to inform you of who he believes is responsible for the situation.
Forbid you get injured at any moment in the mansion, everyone will be in panic. Barry will try to reassure you, holding your wound while Jill rushes to get any herbs. Or Rebecca will try to tend to you while Chris silently panics in the background, refusing to leave your side. Richard will insist you stay in a room for your safety while he tries to find Rebecca or first aid. Enrico tries to remain calm, bringing you along with him as he rids the area of any zombies, fearing the risk of leaving you alone.
Soon enough, you will find out about Wesker's involvement, and his first act is to keep you as a hostage, even knocking you out. He’s merely bluffing but needs to keep the others away. If he encounters Enrico, he is well aware the man knows he’s a traitor and will kill him in front of you. After all, you will know the truth either way.
It all ends with Wesker believed to be 'dead,' killed by the tyrant, and the mansion about to blow up. You and everyone mourn all those who you have lost, and you are surrounded by the remaining survivors as they try to comfort you and tend to any injuries you may have gained.
You are too lost in your grief and all you have experienced that you don’t realize the eyes all watching you, as they all make a silent vow to themselves to forever keep you safe. And most of all, you don’t know that Wesker has been reborn, getting out of the mansion as he plots his revenge.
@aphroditelovesu @yanderes-galore @gwynsly @tiddlybops
#resident evil x reader#yandere resident evil#albert wesker x reader#chris redfield x reader#jill valentine x reader#rebecca chambers x reader#yandere x reader#x reader insert#platonic yandere#yandere headcanons#reader insert#video game x reader#resident evil#stars team
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𝙵𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝙺𝚒𝚜𝚜 | 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔠𝔞𝔫𝔬𝔫𝔰
Headcanons on how your first kiss would go with different RE men
tumblr exclusive!
characters: Carlos Oliveira, Chris Redfield, Leon S. Kennedy
gender: gn! reader
cw: FLUFF // first kiss :3 // ktober
a/n: guys this is my first non-nsfw post can you believe it
𝕮𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖔𝖘 𝕺𝖑𝖎𝖛𝖊𝖎𝖗𝖆 (re3r)
Who initiates?
Either one of you. Although, in most scenarios, it's probably going to be Carlos who initiates your first kiss -- he's a very forward guy
Taste?
His breath isn't awful, although it's not minty either. Very neutral?
I feel like if it was planned beforehand, and he knew he was going to kiss you, he might have chewed some gum? Or at the very least used mouthwash, flossed, scraped his tongue, etc.
He also strikes me as very spur-of-the-moment though, so I feel like in most situations there would be no planning and he'd just go for it. (fuck it, we ball!)
Is there tongue?
...maybe.
No, yeah, this dude would try using tongue on the first kiss LMAO
He'd ease into it though! It wouldn't be straight away.
I don't think it'd be bad if he did, either??? I feel like he'd know what he was doing and it wouldn't be like. AWFUL.
Are they touchy?
YEAAAAAAH !!!!!
You got boobs? They're gonna get squeezed. You got an ass? It's being rubbed. You got arms? They're getting grabbed. You got legs? Already around his hips--
ahem. Conclusion? Yes.
Is it good?
I'd say a first kiss with Carlos, or any kiss with the man at all, would be like an 8 or 9/10. He'd give you the best first kiss out of the other RE men on this list (although, if Ethan Winters were included, he'd easily take that spot. bro's got that supernatural mold-man rizz, or something?)
𝕮𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖘 𝕽𝖊𝖉𝖋𝖎𝖊𝖑𝖉 (re: death island)
Who initiates?
Probably you, if it's the movie renditions of Chris. I feel like he'd be waaay more reluctant to suck face as compared to his given re5/re6 personality. Although if there were a bit of teasing and build-up, I could see him getting frustrated and kissing you first.
Taste?
Most likely pretty average breath. I don't think he would really prepare for the kiss if he did know it was coming, though
Not because he doesn't care, but because it just isn't on his mind. I don't think he would think things that far out tbh
He might realize afterward though that his breath could've been STANK. I feel like he would ask and be briefly apologetic over the matter before moving on, and that'd be that
Is there tongue?
No. In fact, I think that if you were to use tongue, he'd probably be shocked and say something about it afterward
Chris probably wouldn't really know how to use his tongue well, either. I feel like he'd just get confused and overwhelmed and go back to kissing you in a regular fashion
Are they touchy?
Semi. I don't think he'd be grabby or overly passionate, but I can see him placing his hands somewhere, like on your hips or arms
Is it good?
Yeah, it'd be a good kiss. Maybe like a 7 or 8/10. Not anything to write home about, but it'd be nice. Just a very regular, low-key interaction
𝕷𝖊𝖔𝖓 𝕾. 𝕶𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖉𝖞 (re2r)
Who initiates?
Either one of you, honestly. If he's the one to initiate the kiss, I can see him planning it beforehand -- it wouldn't be a spur-of-the-moment type deal
I'd also like to note, that he'd probably study up on how to kiss you, LOL. Maybe through Google searches or by watching action movies with romance in them?
Taste?
If he's the initiator and it's been planned -- he's probably going to have a slightly minty taste. Bro is gonna come prepared
HOWEVER. If you're the initiator, you're getting what you get, pal. I feel like he's the type of dude to eat really pungent meals too, like onion-y, garlic-y stuff. Therefore, if this is the case -- good luck, brother
Is there tongue?
No tongue. He'd prefer to share a more gentle, slow kiss for your first.
Again, if you slipped him some tongue, I think he'd be a little taken aback. I don't think he'd say anything, though -- he'd probably just try his best to follow along (although I don't think he'd be very good at it -- I'M SO SORRY FELLOW LEON STANS PLS DON'T COME FOR ME)
Are they touchy?
Not unless you got touchy with him first. And even then, I think he'd be a little hesitant and/or clumsy about it.
You'd probably send him into a mini-panic, tbh. He'd pull through, though.
Is it good?
Depends. On. The. Breath.
If you caught him off guard and he ate some kinda garlic-y pasta or chicken recipe earlier in the day, well...I'm praying for you, buddy. Hard 5/10.
If he's got good breath, then I'd say a solid 7/10. I feel like your first few kisses would be pretty normal, and then as time goes on, he'd work his way up to like an 8 or 9/10 on average -- he'd learn quickly what you like and don't like :P
For the official and original Kinktober 23 prompts, check here. Credits to @kinktober2023 for the ideas!
#carlos oliveira#carlos oliveira fluff#carlos oliveira headcanons#carlos oliveira x you#carlos oliveira x reader#chris resident evil#chris redfield#chris redfield fluff#chris redfield x reader#chris redfield x you#leon s kennedy#leon kennedy#leon#resident evil#leon kennedy x reader#leon resident evil#leon kennedy x you#leon kennedy fluff#leon s kennedy x reader#leon re2#resident evil fanfiction#resident evil fic#resident evil headcanons#fluff#resident evil fluff#headcanon#x reader#first kiss#re headcanons#carlos resident evil
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resident evil men as parents!
a/n: i had this idea randomly so i wanted to write some headcanons 💪 lmk if you wanna see the girls as parents! (i might edit these headcanons and add more later too)
cw: slight mention of smoking and alcohol
genre: fluff, headcanons/blurb
______________________________________________
leon kennedy
leon is a girl dad!
cried when she was born
from when she was born until age 1 he would just go into her room at night and watch her sleep
he spoils her fr
youll come home late from work (well past her bedtime)
there they are making ice cream sundaes in the kitchen
he participates in tea parties and he enjoys it
he tells even MORE dad jokes now
very protective
tries to drink less after his daughter is born
chris redfield
chris is a girl and boy dad!
i think he has 1 boy (older) and 1 girl (younger)
like him and claire
was in awe when his kids were born
“oh my god she/he’s so small”
auntie claire babysits all the time
teaches his son to play football
honestly i think he’d be protective of his daughter but not as much as the others because he would teach her self defense from a young age
ethan winters
ethan is a girl dad! (which we already knew)
we already know what hes like as a dad but i’ll still write a bit for him
100% cried so hard when his daughter was born
best husband and father
definitely bought every brand of diapers because he didnt know what to get
hes very affectionate and caring to his daughter
i don’t see him as the type of dad to kill any guy who speaks to her once shes older
if someone breaks her heart tho mans just might kill
albert wesker
wesker is a boy dad!
very calm when he was born
not very affectionate
he does care he just doesn’t show it very well
luis sera
luis is a girl and boy dad!
i think he’d have 2 or 3 kids
if he had 2 kids, he’d have 1 girl (older) and 1 boy (younger)
if he had 3 kids, he’d have 2 girls (oldest & youngest) and 1 boy (middle)
definitely sets a very high bar for how his daughter/s should be treated
teaches his son to be a gentleman definitely
loves all his kids so much
smokes less after his kids are born and would rather die than expose them to cigarette smoke especially when they’re babies
carlos oliveira
carlos is a girl and boy dad!
you cannot tell me this man does not want a village of children
he would probably have 4 kids
i think he’d have 3 boys and 1 girl
has the biggest soft spot for his kids
he’s very non-toxic masculine with his sons
he always tells them he loves them, hugs them, etc.
he also has tea parties with his daughter
#resident evil#leon kennedy#chris redfield#ethan winters#luis sera#carlos oliveira#albert wesker#leon kennedy x reader#ethan winters x reader#chris redfield x reader#luis sera x reader#carlos oliveria x reader#albert wesker x reader#resident evil headcanons#leon kennedy fluff#leon s kennedy
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Jill: I sleep with a knife under my pillow
Claire: I sleep with a gun under my pillow
(Name):You're all pathetic
Claire: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?
(Name): Leon
#I finally did an incorrect quote with yn lmao#resident evil#resident evil headcanons#resident evil incorrect quotes#claire redfield#jill valentine#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy#leon kennedy headcanons#resident evil 4#leon kennedy fluff#leon#resident evil 2#resident evil death island
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OLD FOLKS HOME ↪ age gap hcs
the people you love & the shit they do that reminds you of the dreaded Gap (tm). characters included: leon kennedy, chris redfield, jill valentine, claire redfield, rebecca chambers no warnings to speak of. remember kids, if you're gonna date people in their 30s and 40s, you're gonna have different cultural contexts and, most likely, different senses of humor.
Leon is eight levels of irony deep. He started doing Old Guy Shit just to mess with you, and now it's all come full circle.
It turns out he actually likes watching the weather channel. He’s monitoring storms that are miles and miles away from you, pointing out the feeder bands like it’s some kind of sporting event.
He's genuinely invested in Ice Road Truckers. He asks you to TiVo it for him when he's gone. You do not have TiVo. In fact, you're pretty sure no one still has TiVo.
Or you were, until Leon once again committed to the bit and got TiVo.
Really, genuinely annoying about old movies, actors, and directors.
”What do you mean you don’t know who Robert Redford is? The Candidate? Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid? C’mon. He was even in an episode of The Twilight Zone. You’ll know him when you see him.”
At least you get movie dates out of it.
Movie dates that he will pepper with trivia about the film, by the way. You don't need the commentary track. He is the commentary.
I'm so, so sorry about this. 🤪 is his favorite emoji. I know. I'm sorry.
Chris cannot fucking hear. To be honest, I think most of them have some degree of hearing loss - but Chris in particular seems to have very subjective hearing loss.
Yes, you were just having a full-fledged conversation. No, he didn’t hear you ask him to take out the trash. He didn’t forget, he just didn’t hear you. Sorry, you were standing on his right - come on, you know that’s his bad side.
Explains basic technology to you because he’s not sure if you know what it is. Then, in the same breath, crams in so many military acronyms he may as well be reciting the alphabet. Does not explain the acronyms.
Like, yeah, Chris. I know what a landline is. Dial-up internet, too. Now, what the fuck is an ORE?
Have you ever gotten ‘ok’ in response to a nude? You’re about to. Completely demoralizing, by the way.
He didn't know you wanted him to compose a poem dedicated to your beauty, okay? He tries to get better, but winds up sending shit like 'wow 👍'
Does the dad thing where he insists he's not interested in watching what's on TV and then stands with his hands on his hips in the middle of the living room, enthralled by the show.
Jill does not understand your music. She will not make an attempt to understand your music. If you see her tapping her foot to the beat, no you do not. She is not interested in expanding her musical horizons.
She only bought you tickets to that concert because she knew you would love it. She only went with you because you’re cute when you’re so into this stuff. She only bought that t-shirt because it would be a good souvenir, and eventually, a good grease rag.
Generalized distrust of social media. Do not show her a tiktok. She will ignore the video and lecture you about data safety. Jill, please. Just watch the fucking cat video.
And then she turns around and opts in to literally everything on the McDonald's app.
If there’s a rewards program, she’s in. Already sold. Didn’t even read the fine print. All that shit she was telling you about how you need to be more careful is right out the window for some free fries.
Anything for the thrill of a good deal. If she had more time on her hands, she would be couponing.
Buys in bulk. No, it doesn't matter if the two of you could not physically eat that much rice. It's cheaper to buy it like this. It's fine. It's good for you.
Gotta stock up on non-perishables, too. You gotta be prepared in case something happens. "Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it."
Claire cannot stop shopping from QVC. She's in the kitchen with David. It Takes Two with Mary and Sandra? Wrong. It actually takes three. Mary, Sandra, and Claire.
Infomercials have got her by the throat. You have so many gadgets and gizmos around your home that are just collecting dust.
Gets wine drunk and goes online shopping. Legitimately does not remember what she’s bought.
Absolutely will not let you open the packages. (“Some of this stuff could be for you, you know.” “Claire, last time it was a 10,000 count package of googly eyes.” “And I used all 10,000. You still haven’t found them all.”)
Uses every piece of technology until it’s about to fall apart. Absolutely not interested in having the latest and greatest. She’s one of those people who insists that as long as her phone can make calls and send texts, she doesn’t need a new one.
Speaking of texts. Somehow, she got it into her head that a read receipt is equivalent to a reply. She doesn't get what the problem is. You know she saw your text. Why does she have to reply?
Genuinely doesn't mean anything malicious by it - but also, if you did that to her, you would never hear the end of it.
Rebecca legitimately has facebook humor. They all have some degree of facebook humor, but she's got it the worst.
Will blow up your notifications tagging you in shit that is just straight up not funny. I’m talking full on tagging you with “😂😂😂”
Unironically sent you a minion meme once.
It's not that she's disconnected. She teaches undergrads. She knows what’s in, even if it’s only from the periphery. It’s just that she doesn’t care. She has no interest in keeping up with trends just for the sake of it. She’s so used to being the youngest person in the room and having to keep up expectations that she just absolutely does not care anymore. She's glad she's not one of the kids anymore.
If it made her laugh it made her laugh, her enjoyment isn’t shackled by feelings of shame!!
If you have a group chat on any platform with your friends please invite her. She's just happy to be included. She'll make a discord if she has to, and she'll brag about it to her students.
Yeah, she says pupper and doggo. She does. Look at her.
#resident evil headcanons#resident evil x reader#leon kennedy x reader#chris redfield x reader#jill valentine x reader#claire redfield x reader#rebecca chambers x reader#resident evil fanfic#resident evil#leon kennedy
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May I please request headcanons for Leon, Chris, and Carlos reacting to their girlfriend admitting to them that she's never had an orgasm?
girlfriend who's never had an orgasm (resident evil headcanons)
cooking up one more thing for you guys tonight. nsfw under the cut, mdni. obviously not proofread, also expect a pause on requests while i take time to catch up but they'll be back up in like two days lol. anyways contains; leon kennedy, chris redfield, and carlos oliveira. afab reader.
leon s kennedy:
he cannot believe it
he's all blushy too
but now he's gotta show you the beauty of sex
the rest of the evening is about you
eats you out like a starved man
leon had his head between your legs, his tongue deep inside you. he couldn't believe it when you had told him you've never had an orgasm. you were gasping and moaning as he ate you out. he lapped at your pussy, treating your pussy like it was the best meal he's ever had. he's whimpering into your cunt as you cum with violent shake. his face coated with your juices but it doesn't slow him down.
chris redfield:
he's pissed off
not at you, at everyone you've ever been with
cannot believe no one has treated you well
chris is on a mission after that
you will be cumming until you're crying
chris has you sitting on his face, he's practically growling into your pussy as he pulls your cunt down to his face. you've already cummed three times but he still won't slow down. chris's nose bumps your sensitive clit as you are left a moaning pleading mess above him. he can't help but continue with how you taste on his tongue.
carlos oliveira:
carlos "woman pleaser" oliveira over here is excited to show you what it's like
he'll get you so worked up like the tease he is
you did challenge him after all
he's still gentle tho, since it's a first
but god he makes sure you are seeing stars
carlos had a cocky expression on his face as he continued to plow into you, his thick cock spreading you wide as he hit spots deep inside you didn't even realize were there. he praised you as he felt you get close, his fingers toying with your clit as you were sent over the edge for the second time that night, however his hips had failed to slow as he tells you he's not done with you yet.
#resident evil#resident evil x reader#resident evil smut#resident evil headcanons#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy#leon kennedy smut#leon kennedy headcanons#chris redfield#chris redfield x reader#chris redfield smut#chris redfield headcanon#carlos oliveira#carlos oliveria x reader#carlos oliveira smut#carlos oliveira headcanon
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pinterest never lies…
#resident evil#william birkin#william birkin x reader#carlos oliveria smut#chris redfield smut#jack krauser smut#albert wesker smut#billy coen smut#albert wesker#albert wesker x reader#resident evil x reader#resident evil headcanons#resident evil leon#re4 leon#leon kennedy smut#resident evil chris smut#chris x reader x leon#chris redfield x reader#carlos oliveira x reader#ada wong x reader#smut meme#re smut#albert wesker x you#alb
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resident evil boys taking readers virginity 👁️👁️
Literally don’t care what boys you write for this prompt I just need Luis 🙏
I gotchu anon. Hope you like these 🥰 Warnings: smut, loss of virginity, oral sex
He wanted to make this night special since it was your first time, so he went above and beyond with the preparations. I'm talking about candles all over the place, rose petals in the bed, champagne, a good movie to relax, and good music to put you both in the mood. During the movie, he initiated everything. He just couldn't wait. He wanted you for so long that it started to hurt.
You'll start to feel his fingers tickling your skin, gently tugging your shirt and going under it. His hand went up to your bra, and there he cupped your breast, massaging it gently. The little sounds that you make while he is touching you are delightful to his ear. He turned his head to look at you, closed the gap between your bodies, and started to kiss you passionately, all while still giving attention to your breast.
He took off your clothes slowly, kissing and tasting every inch of your skin as he exposed you. It was like unwrapping a long-wanted gift, so he took his time.
"Mi alma, you are simply gorgeous," he said as he was looking at your naked body.
His kisses went from your neck to your breast, where he spent some time playing with them. He cupped them as he gave each nipple special treatment, and then moved on to your thighs.
As he kissed you down there, he began to moan as well. His tongue moved in circles around your bud, and over it, he made all sorts of movements just so he could keep hearing you puffing and moaning. You took a fistful of his hair, pressed his face closer to your core, and began to rub your hips all over his face. He was so close that you could feel the vibrations of his own moans. His beard also felt nice over your heated core.
When he inserted two fingers, your grip tightened on both hair and sheets. You rolled your eyes and hips, trying to get more friction.
When he felt you were wet, he stopped and removed his own boxers. Your eyes widdened at the sight of his cock, which was thick, long, and soaked at the top. You knew he was big from the moment you rubbed on him, but you were still surprised at the sight of it.
"Easy, love, I'll go slow. If it hurts, tell me, ok?" He said this as he came on top of you. He suppoerted himself on the elbows. He was looking into your eyes, his gaze so deep that it pierced through your soul. You felt him so close, and you gasped when you felt his tip breaking inside. It stings a little, and you breathe heavily. You dig your nails into his back.
He went slow, he never went with the full length because he wanted you to give you time to adjust. He also began to kiss you again, with the same passion, and he also kept whispering sweet, loving words to your ear. His romantic attitude helped with the pain, and after a few more thrusts, pleasure took its place. It began to feel good—so good that you told him it's fine to increase the pace.
You felt him close, he was listening to your indications, and he knew how to stimulate that spot inside you. Eventually, you felt a familiar pressure in your lower belly, and soon, you were milking him of everything that he had to offer.
He collapsed next to you, pulling you closer to his chest. His big thumb was running circles on your cheek, and the other arm was wrapped around your body. He kept asking if you were alright and if he had done something to hurt you. All these worries took hold of him, and he failed to see how much you enjoyed it, but you showed him when you climbed on top of him for round two.
When he knew that he would be the man to take your virginity, he was very pleased. In his eyes, you were just his property, a useful tool in his arsenal, but that didn't mean he wouldn't take care of you on your special night.
His lips felt like feathers on your skin. His hands moved gently along your curves, grooping the flesh when the kiss got intense.
"On your back," he said almost shyly. His tone was so sweet, so gentle, and so unusual for him.
His lips moved from yours and travled to your neck, giving you soft bites that won't leave marks. His hands moved to your breasts, cupping and massaging them gently.
"Albert," you whispered as he began to rub your nipples with his fingers.
He left your neck and descended further until he reached your breasts. All this time, his lips never left your body, constantly kissing your hot skin, and soon they found your nipples. His tongue twirled around them, going up and down until you were a complete mess down there. He kept on like that until you clearly grabbed his hips and urged him to give you some more friction between your legs.
"Albert, if you keep going like this, I'll cum," you desperately said.
He chuckled but didn't hurry up. He gave both of you nipples one more lazy, long lick before moving on.
"Bastard," you said under your breath.
He finally reached your core, and this is where he finally gives you the attention you want. Two of his fingers enter your hole slowly, as his tongue begins its usual activity on your clit. He moves in perfect rhythm, making you arch your back and call out his name.
You reach out hesitantly to his head, wanting to grab his hair. At first, you gently touched his golden locks, looking for a reaction. Seeing that there is none, you grab a fistful of his hair, but you don't pull hard. Still no reaction, and in fact, he added a third finger, making you gasp. That was the moment when you properly tightened your grip and pulled his hair properly—a moment in which he moans too.
"Are you enjoying this Wesker?" You teased.
"What do you think?" he asked as he pulled out and removed his pants. His cock was thick and long, and it was swollen. His tip was also pretty soaked.
He went on top of you, glued himself to your body, and pushed the first few inches into your cunt. He grunted instantly, as you were so tight. It took every ounce of self-control to not push his dick inside you in one thrust and fuck you sensless. You gasped for air as it began to sting. You dug your nails in his back, leaving small red marks.
Wesker went slow, so slow, and was paying attention to you the whole time. He began to kiss your neck again and also to praise you. You liked when he was being gentle with you, and the more affectionate he'd be, the less it would hurt. Little by little, kiss by kiss, the pain faded, and you began to feel good—so good that you urged him to go faster.
He knew how to rub that spot inside you, and you felt your orgasm approaching.
"Albert..." you started but were cut off instantly by him. He began kissing your lips again, very passionate and almost sloppy.
A few more thrusts, and your cunt was contracting hard around his cock. A few seconds after that, he came as well and filled you to the brim, feeling your belly expand a bit.
When he pulled out, all of that thick cum oozed out of your cunt.
What shocked you was how gentle and caring he was afterwards, but what shocked him more was how fast you climbed on top of him for round two.
He knew it was your first time, so he made sure to clear his schedule so you could get all of his attention.
When you arrived, he poured two glasses of wine and put your favourite movie. You were the one to initiate the foreplay, as you placed a hand on his thigh and squeezed hard enough to make him notice. You noticed how well-toned his leg was when he flexed under your touch.
Then, you moved your hand up until you reached his cock. Yeah, you were feeling brave, especially after those glasses of wine.
He split his legs and allowed you to toy with his growing erection. You felt your legs going weak as you kept massaging his big bulge. You kept thinking, "If he feels this big now, I wonder..." Your thoughts were cut short when you felt two fingers lift your chin. His big, blue eyes were looking at you, admiring your delicate features.
"You are doing great so far," he said with a smirk.
He pressed his lips on yours. The kiss was so gentle and sensual that you felt yourself getting soaked.
He began to undress you, taking time to admire your body. It was like unwrapping a gift.
As you were lying down with your legs spread, his fingers were busy rubbing your clit and his mouth was sucking on your tit. He loved the sweet, sweet sounds that you made, the little moans and puffs, and how you would say his name. You noticed how his cock would twitch every time you said his name.
"Leon..."
another twitch, but this time a small, white bead formed at the tip, which then dropped along the length.
His fingers were moving up and down your bud as his tongue was twirling around your nipple. You gasped when you felt two thick fingers entering you, but it didn't hurt. It felt so good to see how they'd come in and out, and he curled them to stimulate your spot so you could hear angels singing.
"I think you're ready," he said, and he came on top.
The first few thrusts stung a little and made you feel uncomfortable, but he went slow, very slow, so you have time to adjust. He was very careful with you all the time.
When the stinging sensation was fading and pleasure took its place, you told him to pick up the pace, the moment in which he came closer to your body, glueing himself to you, and buring his face at the crook of your neck. He caressed various portions of your flesh by kissing them and occasionally biting you gently. He loved when he was all over you like that, and that showed by how enthusiastic he trhusted his hips.
You dig your nails on his back, leaving small marks that would faint shortly. It was the first time when you felt this full, and as overhwelming as it was, you never wanted him to stop. He also knew how to stimulate that spot inside you, which made your toes curl and caused you to become louder and louder.
"Leon, I..." you said as you felt your orgasm approaching.
"I know, babe, I feel it too."
His cock was throbbing like crazy before entering you, but now it was pure torture, especially since you were so tight. When he felt your cunt contracting around his sore cock, he couldn't control himself anymore. It came instantly, filling you to the brim.
Leon collapsed near you and pulled you into a tight embrace. Between heavy breaths, he asked if you were alright. He was worried about you, and he was also worried if he did something to hurt you. However, his worries began to fade when you asked for a second round.
He wanted to make something special for you. This touch-looking man is actually a softie inside, so he made sure that everything was perfect for your first time. He got vanilla-scented candles, champagne, chocolate, and he even cooked.
You were the one to initiate the act as you began to caress his chest softly. His big arm was wrapped around your body, and he'd stand to mimic your movements. When you felt more courageous, you slid your hand underneath his shirt and started touching his torso, blushing when feeling his toned abs.
One thing led to another, and now Kauser was on top of you, kissing you very passionately. His hands were squeezing your breasts while his tongue was busy capturing yours. He was a good kisser, and he knew how to touch you. That was shown by your actions, as you kept moaning and rolling your hips underneath him, urging him to move on already.
He couldn't help himself and stopped by your breasts to give them a little attention, licking and sucking on those hard nipples. While his mouth was busy with one, the other would pinch and twist your sensitive part, making sure they both got the same appreciation.
"Jack..." you called him, hoping he would get the hint.
"I'm sorry, I got carried away."
He went between your legs and wasted no second. His tongue quickly found your clit and began to circle it relentlessly. He loved the sweet sounds that'd come out of your mouth as they persuaded him into toying with your little cunt all night.
He inserted some fingers inside you just so he could hear you getting louder. He curled them inside you, finding that spot and rubbing it fast enough to make you pant and grab the sheets.
It overwhelmed you already, but you were still a sucker for new sensations.
He came on top of you and glued himself to your body. You got a glimpse of his cock and got a little worried.
"Hey, everything will be fine," he said after noticing your expression. "I'm here all the way. Just tell me if it hurts, and I'll stop, ok?"
You nodded, closed your eyes, and took a deep breath. You felt his lips touching yours, and you wrapped your hands around his neck. The kiss was gentle, not so chaotic as early. It still didn't distract you from the sudden pain you felt when he inserted the first inches. A whelp came out of your lips, and he didn't push further. Instead of going at a slow pace, he kept kissing you, and he told you countless times how good you're doing.
Eventually, after all that praising and slow progress, you began to feel good and demanded he move a little faster.
He knew his ways, and he quickly managed to rub that spot inside you. His thick cock went in and out of your tight cunt at a normal pace now, making you both moan and call each other's names.
"Jack..." You felt your orgasm approaching, so you held tight. You wanted to feel him close, as these new sensations were very overwhelming.
"I know, babe," he said between grunts.
A few more thrusts, and you felt thick, hot shots of his cum filling you up. Calling his name, you let the orgasm wash over you. A white veil lowered over your eyes, your toes curled, and you held him tight. Your walls kept milking him until the very last drop.
He collapsed next to you and pulled you closer to his chest. Krauser kept praising you, saying how good you were and how well you took him. A few worries got to his mind, but they were soon cast aside once you climbed on top of him for round two.
Captain, my captain. This man is so responsible and overprotective, and when he found out that he would soon be the first man to ever take your virginity, he felt like he had such a huge task ahead of him.
He overdid himself with the preparations. He got some expensive wine, cleaned the apartments thoroughly, and prepared a nice playlist.
His touch was so gentle on your body. His hands slid up and down your curves as he kissed you so passionately. He pushed you on the bed and climbed on top of you, his beard tickling your skin.
He started with your neck, then lowered to your breasts, which he massaged the whole time. His fingers would relenttlessly go over your hard nipples, making you arch your hips and meet his erection. His bulge was big, and it made you wonder if he would fit inside.
His tongue circled your nipples a few times before descending again, leaving a trail of kisses on your hot skin. He reached your core, placed your legs over his big shoulders, and began to kiss you again on your lips. Then he parted them, revealing your clit and started sucking it.
Your moans made his cock twitch in his pants, and he felt himself getting soaked.
His tongue and fingers worked hard to make you ready, and when the time came, he removed his boxers and approached you.
"What if..." you began as you parted your legs.
"It will be alright, I'm here."
The first inches sting, and he went very, very slowly. He asked constantly how you were feeling and if you wanted him to stop, but you assured him you're fine.
His body was pressed tight against yours, his fuzzy chest tickling your skin. He was so warm and gentle, and you felt so safe between his big arms. Because you felt so safe with him, you started to enjoy it little by little until you moaned again. You wrapped your legs around his waist and urged him to go faster.
You were both moaning and panting. He was so delighted by how good your tight cunt felt, and your body went numb from how good he felt inside you. The more he rubbed that spot inside you, the faster the pressure in your lower abdomen increased.
"Chris..." you whispered faintly and hugged him tight.
"I know. I feel it too."
In a bit, you cunt kept contracting around his cock, milking him of everything he had to offer. He filled you to the brim, and when he pulled out, some of his semen oozed out.
He collapsed near you, pulling you close to his chest. He kept kissing you—your forehead, cheeks, and lips. Also, he asked you constantly if you were alright and if you enjoyed it. Chris was very concerned about you, but all of his worries faded when you climbed on top of him for round two.
#resident evil#albert wesker#chris redfield#leon kennedy#luis serra#jack krauser#albert wesker x reader#leon kennedy x reader#luis serra x reader#jack krauser x reader#chris redfield x reader#resident evil headcanons#wesker x reader#krauser x reader#leon s kennedy#leon s kennedy x reader#resident evil 4 remake
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resident evil headcanons (restaurant au)
characters: leon, chris, jill, claire, rebecca, ada, luis, carlos, wesker. a/n: this was created as a joke between me and my friends that completely spiralled out of control. maybe the stupidest au i've ever created. wesker and friends hit me up if you wanna use this warnings: vulgar language. sorry, i'm canadian, we swear a lot here.
chris redfield (bartender): he's one of the first hires, and has been working as the head bartender forever. he absolutely loves to lowkey trauma dump on customers unknowingly, only to shake the mixer after just to avoid the awkward silence. the owner has had to move the tv's out of the way of the bar because chris will only look at the screen and fuck up every single drink during a big game. refuses leon everytime he tries to come up to the bar for drinks. he knows when it's him, leon always tries to input it in the system as a customer order for a table that isn't occupied, but he always orders his whiskey in a very specific way that outs him. chris will pour it out in front of him to make a point. he eventually had to make a memo about not letting leon take drinks from the bar anymore. to customers, he is every older woman's wet dream. he knows that flexing his biceps will rake him in more tips, so he does it often. also does it when women are being hit on by creepy men to scare them away. the night that he wears tight turtlenecks are his big paycheck days. chris will never admit that he likes when people squeeze his arms. chris is the guy that everyone has a crush on when they first start working there, it's basically an initiation rite at this point. he's the friendliest one of the bunch and gives wholesome big bro vibes and it makes him absolutely irresistible to new hires. (x reader) if you're working alongside chris in the bar, prepare to constantly run into him. he's a massive guy, and maneuvering around a little bar with that hunk is near impossible without a couple collisions. after a while, he's learned to put a gentle hand on your back whenever he has to move behind you, all for the sake of "workplace safety". he loves to sneak food from the kitchen and share it with you, but this man eats like a horse. like the chefs are genuinely surprised on how much food this man can physically fit inside his body, but he will always leave a portion for you. it takes him a long time to make a move because he's afraid of ruining your friendship and workplace relationship. leon kennedy (server): he got hired a little after everyone else, and got put onto the waitstaff because of his looks. however, this man is super awkward with patrons despite being super popular with older women. he's always getting propositions to get set up with someone's daughter and he always unknowingly shoots them down. (customer: "you're really cute, leon: "ok.") he always makes little jokes to lighten the mood and it is an instant vibe killer. the only people who like them are the old ladies who think he's cute, and dads who genuinely think he's funny.
as for the whiskey incident, leon has tried multiple times to pretend being a bartender when chris is on break to sneak himself a drink. he claims that it makes him better at serving, but three broken trays and countless shattered glasses say otherwise.
leon does have kind of a blank expression when patrons try and get him to cut them deals or do stuff for them. he will immediately go back and scream by himself in the freezer after a difficult customer interaction. has cried silently in the freezer after food got in his hair. (x reader) leon always smells like american crew hair pomade, and always showers himself in cologne on shifts he knows he's working with you. you smiled at him one time in the middle of a rush and he had to sit on the curb to collect himself. leon has a horrible tendency to get distracted whenever you're in his general vicinity, and will completely ignore customers whenever you walk by with literal hearts in his eyes. he's one of the fastest people to make a move, mostly because he lacks any form of subtlety. he always offers to drive you home, always offers to take you out to dinner after work like you already don't work in food service, and always keeps something in his bag for you. he loves to lowkey fuck with you on shifts, like putting an ice cube down your shirt to make you pay attention to him. jill valentine (hostess):
another og worker, and the most no-nonsense of them all, especially with customers. if the wait time is thirty minutes, then you're waiting thirty goddamn minutes. she does not care who you supposedly know. she has gotten a couple writeups for visibly rolling her eyes when large parties come in without a reservation. jill demands a break every thirty minutes to sit with chris on the curb while he smokes a cigarette. she calls it her mental health breaks.
pointedly does not listen to leon when he asks her to stop seating people in her section. her favourite past-time is to seat all the old women obsessed with him at his tables to watch him flounder. also gives leon's number out to people who try and hit on her at the job. she's also the only person who can scare the owner, so jill gets away with a lot more than most people. her and carlos often hang out after shifts to drink beer and play pool. her and claire have regular girls nights where jill's convinced into facemasks and terrible movies that only have a one star rating on whatever pirated movie website claire pays for. (x reader) every attempt you make to ask her on a date goes completely over her head. it's only at chris' intervention that she finally gets the hint and takes you out to dinner. she ends up having her own shelf of stuff at your apartment within a week, and she's more than happy to drive you to work everyday. if you have a pet, prepare for jill to come over to spoil it rotten and feign ignorance when you confront her about it. another victim of the 'takes extra long to get ready on shifts you work together'. she knows you like her arms, so she's wearing short sleeves or tanks whenever she has the opportunity, and silently preens in your attention. carlos, (line cook):
without a doubt, the line cooks are the vibe bringers of the restaurant. carlos always takes a hit off his dab pen before coming in, because he claims it makes his cooking taste better. he always gives food to the female servers at any given opportunity, and pretends to not know what the male servers are talking about when they bring it up. (is the reason for 90% of the memos regarding workplace behaviour).
carlos always smells like old spice and food, and there is almost nothing that could break his good mood during a shift. he really is just happy to be there. he's very particular on how the freezer is organized, but loved to label the items wrong to piss off the others (spinch). his mother taught him how to cook, so he has a dedicated dish named after her. carlos always comps her meals when she comes in and doesn't tell anybody about it.
as for the other employees, carlos torments them. he loves to play his own music in the kitchen but has a wildly inappropriate taste for work music. chris banned him from the speaker officially after only playing doja cat for three hours. however, him and luis love to carpool and play brazilian funk with all the windows rolled down at max volume. those two are not allowed to work together too much. he also has a mobile game rivalry with leon, so anytime carlos is missing from the kitchen, you'll find him in the bathroom on his phone. just follow the shitty iphone game music.
(x reader) in all honesty, carlos is the man that's hooked up with the most employees. the mans charm is undeniable. but he has a particular soft spot when it comes to you-- you get to taste-test every dish, there's always a nice cold glass of water waiting for you, and carlos will take the fall for every fuckup at your table. he'll introduce you to his mom when she comes in, but is secretly terrified at how well the two of you get along. don't even get him started on bringing his siblings into the place, he would never hear the end of it. carlos received another memo after engaging in too much pda at work after the two of you got together.
claire redfield (waitress):
one of the main reasons for all the positive google reviews. it's not that she's naturally a super bubbly person, but claire knows how to turn it on and off when her shift starts. jill puts most of the families in her section since claire has a natural gift with kids. however, she is extremely biased when it comes to the food. her face always tells you exactly what she thinks of a dish.
since chris is always within eyesight of her, whenever difficult customers give her problems, she loves to sic chris on them. even just having him stand behind her is enough to give her leverage over someone trying to haggle on a bill. and with carlos' willingness to give food to pretty girls, she never goes hungry during a shift. the girl has her whole shift figured out on a system. she also knows exactly when the lull in service is going to be so she can take extended bathroom breaks.
out of everyone, she's the one to organize after-work hangouts, whether by putting gentle reminders into the group chat, or straight up bullying people to come (ie. jill). everyone always knows when she pulls up from the sound of her engine, but she refuses to let anyone on it. especially luis or leon, for insurance reasons.
(x reader) this girl has the uncanny ability to know what you need, and when you need it. forgot an iced tea for table 20? it's already in her hand on the way. it's her nice little way of showing what a good girlfriend she would be, that she can anticipate your needs. for every group hangout, you are the first person she texts and the primary benefactor of the tips she makes. claire is a no bullshit kind of woman, and when she wants you, you will know. she'll always ask you to hang out, always compliment how you look, tell you constantly how good you are at your job. maybe she'll let you ride behind her on the motorcycle just for the excuse of having your arms around your waist, and does that hot thing where she rubs your arms with her thumb at red lights.
rebecca chambers (head waitress):
dear old rebecca, truly the glue holding everything together. she's incredibly sweet to customers, and to most of the employees. the only reason the floor runs properly is her by the book attitude and highly perceptive personality. nothing is getting by rebecca. she's leon's number two nemesis for being able to drink on the job, and chris' number one nemesis for smoking outside. this woman has the nose of a bloodhound when someone is about to do something stupid.
despite her appearance, everyone is afraid to make her angry. she's lost her shit a total of one time, but it was enough for everyone to be on their best behaviour. she does have a tendency to make passive aggressive comments with such a sickly sweet smile on her face, that you won't even realize she insulted you until long after she's walked away.
least favourite part of the job? she is a hit with old men. they can never leave her alone. second least favourite part? finding ways to sneak vitamins into certain employees food so they can live to see another day. the way that some of the others operate is enough to give her grey hairs.
(x reader) rebecca is intelligent and ambitious, and more than willing to make sacrifices when it comes to you. she's more than happy to take the fall on a screwup if it gets you out of it, wanting nothing more than your smile in return. her main tactic of getting to know you is inviting you over to watch movies, inconspicuously of course, so she can ask you questions over the whole thing. overall, she's an acts of service girl, but is much more subtle about it than claire is. you need a meal prep plan? she's your woman. she wants nothing more than to take care of you, to make your life as easygoing as possible. but the true way to her heart is any form of baked goods. if you make a habit of bringing her pastries before a shift, she's putty in your hands.
ada wong, (head chef):
this woman, god help her, has the hardest job out of them all. not only does she have to babysit her two line cooks, but she's also responsible for cleaning up all the fuckups the waitstaff make. her saving grace is the fact that everyone else is terrified of her, creating a wide berth every time she picks up a knife. everyone can always hear her scolding carlos in the kitchen, who just brushes it off with a laugh.
despite the chaos of a kitchen, ada has the impeccable ability to never get food on herself. even after the dinner rush there is not a single hair out of place, looking just as perfect as when she started. every ingredient is measured precisely, every fda standard met and upheld-- pretty much the counterforce to carlos and luis. secretly, she loves when carlos has control of the speaker, but she would rather die than admit it.
the second an overcomplicated modification comes in, the temperature of the kitchen immediately drops. why the hell does she pore over a menu just for some middle-aged man to think he knows better than her? despite her no-nonsense attitude, she does secretly love fucking with leon. only luis knows about her secret tinder account that she catfished leon on with some fake woman in romania.
(x reader) ada is a woman in tune with herself, in tune with what and who she wants. the second she gets attached, she will display clear favouritism. every new recipe she tries is given to you for taste-testing, claiming that you will always give her the truth. it's a lie, she just like seeing the grin on your face when you enjoy it. if anyone asks her about it, she will vehemently deny it, claiming that you're the only one competent enough at your job. her asking you out is more of a demand than it is a question: this place, this time, wear that dress you know i like. she's not huge fan of pda at the workplace, but she'll always give you that look that screams, just wait until i get my hands on you later.
luis sera (line cook):
this man does not operate on a recipe, he operates on la pasion. really, it just means the foods always a tad spicier than it should be. he also sings obnoxiously loud in the kitchen, to the point that patrons can hear it if they're seated close enough. this man obeys ada for the most part, but he's honestly never touched a measuring cup in his life. he'll stop pouring when his ancestors tell him to stop pouring. however he has the uncanny ability to know exactly when meat is within three degrees of whatever temp they need it cooked to.
the waitstaff either love him or hate him. luis playfully flirts with everyone in his line of sight. who could blame him? he's stuck in a kitchen all day and everyone at this restaurant is unbearably attractive. mostly, he just likes seeing their reactions. leon adamantly begs claire to fetch his plates from the kitchen for him, because luis calls him prince charming every time, and leon hates it.
there's a rumour going around that he got drunk after a shift and made out with another employee, but no one knows who it is. there's a restaurant-wide betting pool on potential victims. also, since luis is the only person who knows about the catfish incident, he loves to ask leon innocuous question while feigning innocence about the whole thing. he's just really invested in his love life, he swears.
(x reader) if you think the flirting is bad towards leon, just wait until he catches an eyeful of you. it is a nonstop barrage of witty compliments, offers to go dancing (or clubbing), and pick-up lines that were definitely picked up off the internet. he's a suave guy, don't get me wrong, but he most definitely gets too many of his ideas from old romance novels. at some point he gives up, telling you straight that he wants to take you out, for reals, and cook you a nice home-cooked meal. maybe some wine. maybe more, if you'll let him. luis is another person who displays clear favouritism, and tries to convince ada into naming a dish after you. it has a horribly cheesy name, but it tastes wonderful and he loves shooting you a wink every time you see him making it (he always makes that dish more carefully than any of the others).
wesker (manager):
this man bought the damn place in a last ditch attempt to save himself from bankruptcy, and unknowingly entangled himself into the lives of the dumbest twenty year olds he's ever met in his life. the only person that he kind of tolerates is ada, because she runs that kitchen like it's the military, and he can respect how batshit terrifying she is. he has a particular vendetta against chris for reasons he can't name, but since chris brings in a lot of money, he can't really refuse. he mostly gets that frustration out by pinning things on chris that leon most definitely did.
he's rarely seen on the actual floor, usually just hanging in the back on the computer doing whatever the fuck he does. (he's playing farmville, but no one knows it's him because of a pseudonym. he also does not know how to turn the music off so if you stand at the right position outside the door you can hear it.)
when he is seen out on the floor, he's wearing the most obnoxious sunglasses and leather jacket known to man, and stalks around the bar to watch for mistakes. you know you fucked up around wesker when there's a sneer on his face. the place almost got robbed once, and wesker threw a punch so fast that everyone stopped trying to piss him off after that.
(x reader) truthfully, he doesn't act too much different around you. it takes months to catch onto the little quirks that show his softness-- just a slight ease in his eyebrow, a softer pitch when addressing you directly. he'll still chew you out for mistakes, but he forgets about it long before he'll let anyone else slide. if things did eventually progress between the two of you, that manager's office is staying locked.
thank y'all for reading! this ended up being way longer than i thought it was going to be lol.
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