#recession for everybody!

[talkstothemoonandstars]

Trump’s tariff numbers appear to have been calculated through a simple math formula, which works with every single country on the list

The formula used to calculate President Donald Trump’s new batch of tariffs announced Wednesday is based on dividing the U.S.’s trade deficit with a given country divided by their total exports to the U.S. A memo from the office of the U.S. trade representative acknowledged this was the methodology used because it was too “complex, if not impossible” to calculate the full extent of each country’s U.S. trade policies.

The Trump administration implemented widespread reciprocal tariffs on countries all over the world Wednesday in an effort to fight back against what it said were unfair trade practices that hurt American businesses and the economy at large.

To calculate the tariffs it decided to impose on countries around the world, the White House used a formula that focused on trade deficits and total exports. The formula didn’t include an assessment of tariff rates for specific products in individual countries, or take into account other trade barriers that weren’t tariffs.

Instead, the reciprocal tariff rate applied to each country was: their trade deficit divided by exports to the U.S., divided by two.

If the country has a trade surplus with the U.S., or the number resulting from the above formula was less than 10%, then a flat rate of 10% was applied.

For example, the U.S. has a $235.6 billion trade deficit with the European Union, which exports a total of $605.8 billion to the U.S. Based on the White House’s formula, $235.6 divided by $605.8 equals 0.388, which divided by half is 0.194. That number gets rounded up to 0.2, which leads to a 20% tariff rate.

“The blind application of such a simple formula ignores so much nuance,” Dominic Pappalardo, chief multi-asset strategist at Morningstar Wealth, told Fortune in an email.

Journalist James Surowiecki first pointed out this was the formula the Trump White House was using in an X post published a little over two hours after the tariffs were announced.

When reached for comment, a White House spokesperson pointed Fortune to a statement from the office of the U.S. trade representative explaining the formula.

The U.S. trade representative’s office, which played a major role in Trump’s tariff policy, said this was the formula it used. It also acknowledged the difficulty of calculating reciprocal tariff rates based on a detailed analysis of each country's trade barriers.

“While individually computing the trade deficit effects of tens of thousands of tariff, regulatory, tax and other policies in each country is complex, if not impossible, their combined effects can be proxied by computing the tariff level consistent with driving bilateral trade deficits to zero,” the statement from the trade representative’s office read.

“Reciprocal tariffs seem to be entirely based on the size of the bilateral trade deficit in goods in 2024. It is not obvious that anything else made a difference,” Deborah Elms, head of trade policy at think tank the Hinrich Foundation, told Fortune earlier........

This measure is also backward-looking and doesn’t take into account any preemptive efforts certain countries may have taken to balance trade with the U.S. “The calculation represents a single point-in-time snapshot,” Pappalardo said.

For example, Vietnam had promised to further cut any customs duties on U.S. goods and to buy more of them in an effort to stave off any tariff hikes. Instead, the southeast Asian country, which is a hub of manufacturing, got slapped with 45% tariffs. The U.S. is Vietnam’s largest export market and a tariff of that size would cripple its ability to sell goods in the country.

A blanket formula that doesn’t take into account the specifics of each country’s trade policy—which is often a series of complex, interlocking regulations that include highly detailed rules for each sector of the economy—risks upsetting global trade by stymying the flow of critical goods countries can only access through their trading partners. Instead, they create roadblocks for other countries to enter the U.S., which is the world’s biggest economy.

“There are strong fundamental and economic reasons to import certain goods from outside the U.S.,” Pappalardo said. “This formula totally ignores that concept. These reasons include local availability of natural resources, cost of production and skill gaps among others. In other words, certain countries are much better suited to produce some goods than others, but all goods are treated the same in the blanket application of this approach.”

These new policies would raise the U.S’s tariff rate across the board by almost 10%, which could tilt the global economy toward recession, according to a research note from Fitch Ratings.

"The U.S. tariff rate on all imports is now around 22% from 2.5% in 2024. That rate was last seen around 1910," Fitch wrote in its report. "This is a game changer, not only for the US economy but for the global economy. Many countries will likely end up in a recession. You can throw most forecasts out the door, if this tariff rate stays on for an extended period of time."......

“Previously announced measures had increased the U.S. average tariff rate to 11%, the highest since the 1940s,” Seema Shah, chief global strategist at investment firm Principal Asset Management, wrote in an email. “Yesterday’s announcement raised the tariff rate even further to around 24%, the highest since 1908, and was meaningfully more aggressive than the broad market had expected.”

During his speech in the White House’s Rose Garden on Wednesday, Trump said he was being “kind” by only hitting countries with half the tariffs he believes they impose on the U.S. However, since the tariff rates are based only on a calculation of the U.S.’s trade deficit with a given country and do not include other trade barriers, even the halved tariff rate represents an extraordinarily high levy on foreign goods. One that will almost certainly have knock-on effects for the U.S., as the rest of the world retaliates.

[a-s-fischer]

Since it's almost Easter, I want to tell everyone the story of the cafeteria lunch lady at my school who I sort of on purpose, sort of accidentally convinced I was possessed.

So once upon a time, before J. K. Rowling was radicalized, back when the books were first becoming popular, a bunch of Christians got it into their heads that J.K. Rowling was in league with Satan and the books had real spells, and the books would trick the children who had read them into becoming satanists and witches, and selling their souls to the devil to work magic, and they would all become possessed by demons, and die and go to hell. It was all very much the same thing they were saying about Dungeons and Dragons in the eighties. For the most part, this was a Protestant Evangelical phenomenon, but the occasional Catholic bought into it too, and one of those Catholics who bought into this was my school's lunch lady.

She saw me one day at lunch reading a book from the incredibly popular Harry Potter series, and told me in that solemn way that adults sometimes do when talking to a young person they think is going wrong, that I needed to stop reading that book, because otherwise I would open myself up to demons and wind up possessed.

Now I have severe ADHD, and one of the ways this manifests is that I get songs stuck in my head at the drop of a hat, and they stay there for weeks on end and are very, very annoying and distracting. And my mother loves musicals, so we listened to them around the house all the time. And at the time the musical we were listening to was a not-at-all controversial little number by the name of Jesus Christ Superstar. This musical is a pretty standard retelling of the passion, which is to say the last days of Jesus's life from just before his entrance into Jerusalem until his crucifixion, and it was also written by two Christians, but in spite of this, the same kinds of groups who decided Harry Potter was a tool to get children to sell their souls to the devil, decided Jesus Christ Superstar was blasphemous.

But anyway because this is a passion story, Caiaphus, the high priest, is one of the main villains, and he gets an absolute banger of a song, which at that very moment I had stuck in my head, and I had been doing my very best not to sing all day, because it is not appropriate for school. This song is called "Jesus Must Die".

So here we are, and the lunch lady has just told me that I needed to stop reading a book or I would be possessed. So I turned to her and looked her straight in the eye and started singing at the top of my lungs: "FOOLS, YOU HAVE NO PERCEPTION, THE STAKES WE ARE GAMBLING ARE FIGHTENINGLY HIGH! WE MUST CRUSH HIM COMPLETELY, SO LIKE JOHN BEFORE HIM, THIS JESUS MUST DIE!"

She screamed, crossed herself, and never spoke to me again.

[vashti-lives]

I'm like, extremely stressed out right now (for obvious reasons) and as my bedtime treat I am currently imagining an extremely detailed and pointless happily ever after epilogue/kidfic type thing for Ian and Martin. I'd already had a bunch of details kind of roughed out before but my favorite new detail is that none of Martin and Ian's kids (they have three boys) are fully human* and as Ian and Martin are not pushing The Rules™ nearly as hard as Ian's parents they're not particular good at hiding their magical natures BUT Ian is definitely still pretending to be human and their mom, when she's in town, is ALSO very very much pretending to be human so a lot of Everlasting end up assuming that Martin must secretly have being and/or magical ancestry that Mrs. Dyer is hiding.

Martin denies it, but not very vigorously given that if everyone assumes he's magical nobody is going to be looking too hard at Ian or Ashley*. Mrs. Dyer has a fucking fit and eventually leaves the town in shame which DOES fuck Martin up a little but also is in general a net positive because it's not like she would have been a good or positive influence on her grandkids and in general their lives are better without her. And then because of THIS reaction everyone is even more convinced that Martin is part being.

*their mother--another nature related being-- like Ian's parents she has affinity with water, but unlike Ian's parents (or at least his dad) her kind of second affinity is air. She works seasonally on a whole series of tall ships and mostly shows up in Everlasting during the off season.

[adhdo5]

It does annoy me how they just have Qingheng-jun dead in CQL for no reason other than to make how everybody treats Lan Xichen completely nonsensical

[iheartchristianbale69]

Hey, hi, so why is everyone in a long term relationship all of a sudden? I wasn’t alerted of this, and going to uni each day I still wonder if it was a prerequisite that I just missed or something.

Or is it like a recession indicator?

[97tears]

yes… birds nest…. it’s peak..

[bemorech1ll]

hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks!

hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! h

hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! h

hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! h

hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! h

hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! h

hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! h

hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! h

hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! h

hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! h

hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! h

hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! h

hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! h

hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! h

hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! h

hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! h

hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! h

hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! hey buddy i'm not trying to embarrass you i just want you to know it's pretty smelly over here, and it's been stinky for the last 10 minutes. if you need to go to the bathroom you're good to go. you had an accident? okay um, let's do this. i'm gonna tell everybody else in the class that we're gonna take a quick 5 minute recess, that'll get them out of the classroom and once we're all gone why don't you head down to the nurse i'll let her know you're on the way she'll get some new clothes for you untill your grown up can bring you up some of your own. sound good? alright thanks! h

STOP THIS

[tamaharu]

reading old writing is so. i have no idea who wrote this they are so disconnected from me that i cant even follow their thought processes. and also theyre writing about a concept that if written by anyone else would intrigue me greatly. kill me now.

[lorisystem]

The nicest person in the world is the lady who helped me tie my shoes at 5ish years old so i could go play during recess. (I elaborated in the tags but theyre fairly long,,) -???

[stllmnstr]

sacred monsters: part four

pairing: lee heeseung x f reader

genre: academic rivals to lovers, vampire au, slow burn

part four word count: 15.8k

part four warnings: swearing, more blood and other vampire-y things, dark themes, descriptions of past abuse (non-explicit), even MORE tragic backstories, a little sexiness

soundtrack: still monster / moonstruck / lucifer - enhypen / everybody wants to rule the world - tears for fears / immortal - marina / supermassive black hole - muse / saturn - sleeping at last / everybody’s watching me (uh oh) - the neighbourhood

note/disclaimer: EVERYONE DOUBTED ME. I DOUBTED MYSELF. BUT DESPITE IT ALLLLLLL HERE IS PART FOUR!!!!!!! Enjoy my friends, and then tell me about it! As always, happy reading ♡

⋆.˚⟡ ��� ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖

A literature student in your third year of university, you’ve been dreaming of having your writing published for as long as you can remember. With a perfect opportunity dangling at your fingertips, the only obstacle that stands in your way comes in the form of a ridiculously tall, stupidly handsome, and unfortunately, very talented writer by the name of Lee Heeseung. Unwilling to let your dream slip out of reach, you commit to being better than the aforementioned pain in your ass at absolutely everything.

But when a string of vampire attacks strikes close to your city for the first time in nearly two hundred years, publishing is suddenly the last thing on your mind. And, as you soon begin to discover, Heeseung may not quite be the person you thought he was.

⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖

When you wake up, it’s with a pounding headache and a deep wave of something that almost tastes like regret. 

Through the jumble of your sleep-addled mind, it takes you a few moments to locate the source of that uneasy feeling. But as soon as you do, it washes over you in a sweeping tide of sensation. 

Images, sounds, tastes. Feelings. 

You’re lying in your bed. Alone. But your mind isn’t convinced of it. 

For long, heavy moments, if you screw your eyes shut tightly enough, you’re somewhere else entirely. 

Notches of your spine pressed against the expanse of a wall. Long fingers, ones  that don’t belong to you, toying with the hem of your shirt. Tracing the skin beneath your ribs. 

Sighs that you swallow. Lips pressed against your own. Teeth. 

Desperate, heady, sordid.

A brief stinging sensation. The faint, metallic taste of blood. 

The breathy pleas that follow. 

All at once, all over again, you’re lost in it. Drowning in it. Consumed by it. 

It’s a ghost of the real thing, a mere shadow in comparison. But you’re aching with it just the same. 

Through the muddle in your mind, you barely remember getting home. 

Footsteps and movement and other mundane details are lost to memories of a much headier nature. 

Lips against yours in the cover of darkness outside your apartment door. Fervent whispers of words that sound like “Bad idea” and “Not tonight.”

But still. He followed you in. Or at least you think he did. There’s far too much room for error in the recesses of your clouded memory.

It feels real, though. The recollection of gentle fingers in your hair. Soothing this time. With the intent to calm, subdue. Creating distance from desperation instead of adding to it. 

The slow press of lips that you wish you had more time to become familiar with. Against your temple this time, the bridge of your nose, the swell of your cheekbone. 

And a final, quiet command. 

“Sleep,” he’d insisted. 

And you hadn’t wanted to, not really. But no matter how many encounters you’ve had with immortality, you’re still woefully confined to the constraints of your humanity. And exhaustion still has clutches you can’t escape. 

Eyelids flickering, unconsciousness sang to you like a siren song until you were unable to resist its lull any longer. 

And there had been no promises between the two of you, but waking up alone was not what you expected. 

It’s undeniable though, even as you sit up, sheets tangling around your hips. You’re still wearing the same clothes as yesterday. They’re wrinkled – a result of fervent ministrations and a long night of sleep disturbed only by strikingly vivid dreams. 

But even though small remnants of his presence remain, your room is empty, save for you. 

Rolling your neck in a slow circle, you wince at the stiffness, the tinge of pain you feel as it crosses above your left shoulder. 

The rest of your body carries a similar heaviness. As you ease your way out of bed, your limbs feel tight, stiff, overworked. 

Still, you force your feet to carry you to the space outside your bedroom. If you’re honest, part of you is hoping that you’ll find him waiting for you there. But as your eyes trace over the expanse of your apartment, your stomach sinks with disappointment. 

Empty. Just like your bedroom. 

It’s not enough to make you panic. Not yet. There are a thousand possible explanations for his absence. Before you start to decide which one is most likely, a knock echoes against your front door. 

And it’s almost embarrassing, the speed at which you cross your living room. 

But you can’t swallow the immediate sense of relief you feel. Coupled with a sudden swoop that reaches all the way to the pit of your stomach. 

Because he’s here. He’s here and it’s real and the surge of butterflies is enough to have you forgetting any potential complications. 

You know he can hear your footsteps, can certainly tell that your heart has just begun to beat unnaturally fast, but you don’t care. Can’t find it in yourself to be embarrassed. 

You wonder if he feels it too, this magnetic pull. It clutches at your heart with a soft touch and pulls at your mind like nostalgia. As if you’re a girl with a crush, writing the details of your affection in the secrecy of a diary and doodling hearts along the border. 

You pause, hand on the doorknob. With your other hand, you flatten the top of your hair, self-consciously tucking a strand behind your ear. 

It defies logic. After all, any remaining mussing is of his doing. But still, you can’t suppress the desire to have him see you at your best. 

After one last deep breath, you twist the knob. A smile is already tugging at your lips, widening along with the door. 

But when it opens fully, your lips fall flat. It’s not Heeseung that stands on the other side. 

From where he lingers in the doorframe, Jake scratches at the back of his neck rather awkwardly, avoiding eye contact. 

“Jake?” Disappointment colors your voice in obvious strokes. You might feel bad about it if you weren’t so confused. 

“Hey, ___,” he returns. His exhale almost sounds like an apology and it has your stomach swooping again. This time in trepidation. Anxiety. “Can I come in?”

“Is he okay?” It’s probably rude, the way you ignore his question entirely. But suddenly, it’s all you can think of. Why is Jake here? Avoiding your gaze and already sounding regretful. 

“Heeseung’s fine,” Jake assures. Your brow furrows. He’s fine, but he’s not here. You can’t decide if that inspires relief or something far more unpleasant. 

The silence extends for a moment. Jake doesn’t offer any additional explanation. Instead, he requests again, “I have something to ask you, but it would probably be better in private.”

“Right,” you nod, forcing the unease in your gut away. “Would you like to come in?”

Jake smiles, a tight thing, before stepping inside wordlessly. When you shut the door behind him, you keep your back turned for a moment. Inhaling deeply, you try to regain a bit of control over your mounting emotions before turning to face him. 

Jake has already made his way to your couch. Instantly, you're reminded of when another guest of yours did the same. It’s almost enough to send you spiraling again.

Jake, unaware of your inner thoughts, doesn’t let you linger in them for long. Instead he motions to the seat opposite of him. “Come sit.”

You frown, still fraught with nerves. Jake sounds far too serious for this conversation to be anything but unpleasant. Following his request, you slide down into the chair across from him. 

Once you’re seated, he doesn’t waste any time. “If you’re feeling up to it, I’ve got an errand for us today.”

Raising your brow, you wordlessly urge him to elaborate. 

Jake reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small, metal object. It takes a moment for you to recognize it, but once you do, your stomach only sinks further. 

It’s a key. The key. The same one you found last night. Along with someone whose absence is still very much unexplained. 

Jake looks at you, but your gaze is still trained on the object in his hand. “How do you feel about a return trip to New Haven?”

New Haven. You can hardly process his question, much less answer it. 

Because they were together. Heeseung gave the key to Jake. Intentionally passed it along to him. And despite all of the possible explanations, you can only fixate on one. 

He’s avoiding you.

You don't say anything, but Jake reads your expression all the same. Gently, he sets the key on the table between the two of you. Again, he sighs. It’s an apologetic sound, and you hate it.  

A beat passes. Two. He doesn’t beat around the bush. “Something happened between you two, didn’t it?”

You don’t answer. At least not with words. But the way your eyes widen is confirmation enough. 

“I—” You can’t decide if lying would serve you any good here. Ultimately, you decide to stick with the truth. You have too many unanswered questions to play any games. “How did you know?”

Jake smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “After five hundred years, you kind of just… know.” He pauses for a moment, weighing his words. And then he adds, “You don’t have to tell me, of course. But you can. If you want to.”

You can’t think of anything you’d rather do less. It’s illogical and frivolous and entirely human, but you’re embarrassed. The things that passed between the two of you hold weight in your mind. Significance. Importance. 

And now he’s deliberately avoiding you. You can’t help but feel slighted. Played. Used, even. Your voice is small when you ask, “Did he say anything?”

Jake shakes his head. “He’s been pretty silent. Even more so than usual.”

You don’t want to tell him. You don’t. But answers are still lingering far beyond your reach. Jake might not be privy to the details of your affection, but he does know Heeseung like the back of his hand. 

With a deep exhale, you push your pride to the side. 

“We…” you trail off, searching for the right words. Something that won’t feel too invasive, too intimate to share. “We had a… moment. And I thought— well,” you frown, suddenly unaware of your own expectations, “I guess I didn't know what I thought. But I didn’t expect him to avoid me.”

“Ah,” Jake enunciates carefully. “That would explain why he’s been so moody today.” He nods to himself, pausing briefly before adding, “It’s not because of you.”

You just give him a look, obviously disbelieving. 

“I mean, it’s not because of you specifically,” Jake clarifies. “It’s…  a bit difficult to explain. Heeseung is…” he trails off, searching for the right words. “guarded, as I’m sure you can tell. He’s quiet, reserved. He keeps a lot of himself locked up in his own head, and he ruminates on everything. Predicts a million terrible outcomes of every situation and fixates on them until he’s convinced himself that everything will end in flames.” 

“So a raging pessimist, essentially.”

“Maybe,” Jake pauses. “But I think that you have to consider his perspective, too. That’s the thing about immortality. It’s… lonely. Often unbearably so. We all deal with that in our own ways. Sunghoon and his bed are one extreme end of that. Heeseung’s the other.”

You frown. He’s skirting around the edges. Hinting at something without fully saying it and you’re tired of guessing. 

Jake sighs. “I won’t pretend to know everything that’s happened between you, but Heeseung’s not just acting irrationally.”

Your brow furrows. “What does that mean?”

“I…” This time it’s Jake that hesitates. A struggle plays out across his features, as if he can’t decide whether this story is one he should share. Finally, he exhales. “It’s not really my story to tell. But Jungwon had a similar situation, I guess you could say. We had only been changed for around twenty years when he met this girl. It was purely by chance. And it was completely innocent at first. She was an apprentice at the tailor shop in the town we were living in. A human one.”

Your stomach is sinking with every word. The story has barely begun, but you call tell from the tension in Jake’s expression that it doesn’t have a happy ending. 

“He never intended for anything to happen, but he met her once and then he kept going back. It wasn’t intentional, but things spiraled from there. Until he was in far too deep.”

Jake is sparing plenty of details, but even the vague picture he paints is enough to have the unpleasant feeling solidifying in your gut. 

“And there was nothing dramatic, really. No big fight or fall out.” Jake sighs. “But she got older. And he didn’t. For the time they had, they made each other happy. In a lot of ways, they were perfect for each other. Except for in the one way that mattered.”

His immortality. Her humanity. Jake doesn’t say it, but the truth is there all the same. 

“Their love fell apart in a quiet way. Slowly, steadily. Five years had passed, and Jungwon looked the same. She started getting suspicious. He was running out of excuses and had to cut contact just to keep us all safe.”

A part of your heart breaks for him, for the love that he lost, for the circumstances that were always going to dangle just outside of his reach. 

“He couldn’t help it, though. He kept tabs on her. And she did what every human does. She nursed her broken heart, and then she moved on. She fell in love and found a family. Including a daughter.

“But for Jungwon… It broke him. For almost two hundred years, he felt like a shell of himself. And we all watched it happen, but I think it hit Heeseung the hardest. Out of all of us, he was always the romantic, although you’d never guess that now.” 

Jake smiles wryly and the dread in your stomach hardens into a rock. 

“He might not have to hide what he is from you, but that will only buy you so much time.” Jake meets your eye, imploring you to understand. “No matter what happens between the two of you, you’ll always have something he doesn’t: the ability to move on. To forget. To find someone that fits into your life in all the right ways. He’ll never have that, no matter what he wants. No matter what he feels.”

Jake’s gaze settles on the side of your neck. The bite has already begun to fade, scar tissue covering what was once an angry red wound. 

“And he’s already led to you getting injured once. I can’t imagine the kind of guilt he’s probably feeling over that.”

You’re quick to protest. “But that wasn’t his fault—”

“It doesn’t matter.” Jake shakes his head. “That’s how he sees it.”

Lips tightening, you search for holes to poke in his logic. “Isn’t it better to take that risk? You can’t avoid a chance at happiness just because you’re worried it will lead to sorrow in the future.”

“That’s a nice perspective,” Jake agrees. “But it’s a human one. If you want to understand him, you have to consider what it’s like for him. His regrets and sorrows aren’t like yours. They don’t have an end date. They’ll live forever, just like him.”

“But so will the good memories—”

“No.” Jake shakes his head. “They won’t. Time will warp them, eat at them, until the good memories hurt just as bad as the awful ones. Maybe even worse.”

You flinch as if you’ve been scolded. Jake’s features soften. “I don’t expect you to understand. And I know he doesn’t either. He doesn’t expect your understanding or patience or forgiveness. He wouldn’t ask that of you, because he knows it’s not fair. Because he knows that it’s different for you.”

It’s selfless. It’s considerate.

You hate it regardless.  

Carefully, Jake adds a final suggestion, “For you and him, for the sake of your own peace, it might be best for you to do the same.”

His words settle heavily into the air. 

Do the same. It’s vague enough to be open to interpretation, but no matter how you warp it, there’s always one striking similarity. 

Jake is encouraging you to move on, to forget about last night and everything that led to it. To let memories fade and moments die before they can grow into anything stronger. 

And in the grand scheme of things, even in your limited mortal lifespan, it really hasn’t been that long. The first time you saw Heeseung was only a handful of months ago, and the taste of his name was bitter on your tongue for the majority of it. 

There have been so many versions of him. A rival classmate. A pesky annoyance. A savior. A guardian. A lover. 

A vampire. 

You don’t know him. Not really. You’ve seen parts of him, and the remaining pieces feel like something that would be all too easy to want. To love, even. 

And maybe Jake is right. He has the advantage of perspective. He’s seen history unfold and recognizes the patterns. He’s terrified that tragedy will repeat itself. 

But it doesn’t make it any easier – the thought of letting him go. 

Your feelings might be mortal. Your days may be limited, but that doesn’t make them any less significant. 

Amidst all the uncertainty, you know one thing for sure. It’s not a conversation with Jake that will give you any kind of closure, that will lead to any final decision. 

You need to talk to him. To Heeseung. Need to hear his thoughts and fears and desires in his own words. Need him to listen to yours. 

You’re not sure how to go about it. If he’s hellbent on avoiding you, there’s little you can do. 

But there must be something. Some way of getting to him. 

Before you have long to linger on it, another knock sounds against your door. It’s much sharper, more urgent than Jake’s was. 

Immediately, your eyes flicker to the vampire across from you, widening in surprise. 

Jake just sighs, shaking his head slightly. “I apologize in advance.”

Although slightly cryptic, it’s confirmation that whoever is on the other side poses no threat. Slowly, you stand, making your way back to your front door. 

Opening it, you find five overeager faces crowded in your doorframe. 

“Morning, ___,” Sunoo beams. “Hope you slept well.”

 “I don’t know,” Niki whispers, “Those look like some pretty serious dark circles.”

“Dude,” Sunghoon elbows him. “You can’t just say that.”

“Yeah,” Jay nods. “That’s super rude.” Turning to you, he gives you a wide smile. “You look great, ___. Not tired at all.”

In the center of them all, Jungwon just sighs. “Sorry to intrude like this.” Sheepishly, he rubs the back of his neck. “Is there any chance you could invite us in?”

Two minutes later, the sight that greets you would be enough to make you laugh out loud if the surrounding circumstances weren’t so dire. 

Your couch is far too small for the five vampires crowded onto it, elbows flying into ribs every time someone adjusts too far in one direction. Next to the chaos, Jungwon leans against the arm of the couch, eyes trained on you. 

His gaze feels assessing, almost. As if he’s trying to decipher the events of the previous day. Under his scrutiny, you do your best not to flush. 

From his seat at the far end on the couch, Jake’s lips pull into a flat line as another scooch sends him squished up even further against the armrest. “What are you all doing here?”

Jay smiles, nodding at you. “We came to check on our favorite human, of course.” 

“We heard you even snuck into your evil professor’s secret lair.” Sunghoon adds, nodding appreciatively. “Badass.”

“Plus we had to get out of the house.” Niki grimaces. “Heeseung is still in one of his moods.”

Despite yourself, you can’t quite help the expression that crosses your features as soon as his name is mentioned. 

As if that weren’t mortifying enough on its own, of course all six of them pick up on it. 

“Don’t worry about him,” Sunghoon waves his hand dismissively, entirely unaware of why you’re so affected by the sound of his name. “Being in a mood is just a regular Tuesday for Heeseung.”

“Speak for yourself,” Jay shudders, clutching at his neck. “When I mentioned that Jake was planning to go with ___ to New Haven so she could go back into the secret evil jail, I thought he was actually gonna throttle me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so–”

“Anyway,” Jungwon interjects. He might not have been privy to your conversation with Jake, but he is a bit better at picking up on the subtleties. “We did want to form a plan for your return to New Haven. I apologize for the sudden intrusion, but since you and Jake were already here, we thought this might be the best place for all of us to talk.”

Jungwon’s words barely register. He’s there. Heeseung is at their shared home. Of course he is. It makes sense. It’s the most likely place for him to be. 

But he’s there. They’ve all seen him. Talked to him. And now they’ve come here without him. 

“Right,” you nod, forcing a tight smile. “Well, we have the key from the professor’s university office now. And we don’t know for sure, but it just might open the chest I found last time at New Haven. As soon as we know that the professor is away from the building, I think we need to return and try to open it as soon as possible.” 

The thought of going back into that place fills you with a distinct sort of dread, but you need answers. You all do. 

Jungwon nods thoughtfully. “We can do that. We’ll get eyes on him first and establish a warning system for you and Jake.” Reaching into his back, he pulls out a pair of walkie talkies. “Heeseung also mentioned that there’s no cell service down there. The two of you can use these so that you’re not going in blind.”

Reaching forward, you take them from his outstretched hand. “These will be perfect,” you agree. 

“And ___,” Jungwon adds, suddenly serious. “Thank you. Truly. We know that none of this has been easy.” Five heads nod in near perfect unison. “But what you’re doing will save lives. There was another attack last night–”

“What?” You can’t mask your shock.

“A few miles outside of the city,” Jungwon confirms, lips pulled in a tight line. “In an area we hadn’t been patrolling. There were two victims.” Jungwon pauses, his words weighing heavy in the air. “High school students.” 

High school students. In recent weeks, death has become a familiar theme. But youth has it feeling brand new. You suddenly feel like crying. 

High school students. Kids. Children with their whole lives ahead of them. Dreams and plans and goals for the future. All lost in one tragic, horrific moment. 

Your heart hurts for their families, their classmates, their teachers. So many lives affected, changed, darkened. 

Teenagers whose worries should have extended only to homework and exams and finding a date for the prom. Not becoming headline news in an ongoing series of tragedies. 

Wait –

Headlines. News. 

Frantically, your eyes flick towards the clock on your counter. Last night really did do a number on you. You slept well past mid morning. If your clock is accurate, it’s dangerous close to one in the afternoon. Ignoring the fact that you can’t remember the last time you slept so late, you return to the more urgent matter at hand. 

Panicked, you turn to Jungwon. “We might have another problem. I’m supposed to have my first article for Professor Kim written in the next two hours. I don’t know if I–”

Jungwon shakes his head. “It’s already done.”

“What?” A confused frown pulls at your lips. “What do you mean? I haven’t written anything yet.”

Reaching for the bag he set down by his feet, Jungwon pulls out a small stack of papers. “He gave these to me this morning before we left,” he explains before handing them to you. 

Wordlessly, you reach out, accepting them. 

Fingers shaking slightly, your eyes trace the first handful of lines. 

It’s jarring – there’s no other way to describe it. 

You have no idea how he’s done it, but reading Heeseung’s writing feels a bit like looking into a mirror. It’s unsettling, just how easily he seems to be able to emulate you in his writing. If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought you wrote this yourself. 

Everything is perfect, down to the last detail. Words you’ve been scolded by past professors for overusing are scattered throughout. Unique turns of phrases that are hallmarks of your style are intricately weaved between paragraphs.

And it only solidifies your determination.  

You have to see him. You have to.    

Writing has always felt like an extension of your soul, a physical manifestation of your very being. And anyone that can capture you this intimately, this intricately, is not someone you can just forget. 

Jungwon, unaware of your inner turmoil, must mistake your silence for scrutiny. “Is it okay?” He asks, an edge of concern in his voice. “We still have some time, so if there’s anything you need to change–” 

“No, it’s…” you trail off, unsure how to describe the writing in front of you. “It’s exactly what I would have written. 

“Oh,” Jungwon nods. “Okay. Well… Good, then. I have the digital copy too. I’ll send it to you and you can pass it along to the professor.”

You nod, a bit numbly, still shaken by what you’ve just read, still brimming with the urge to confront Heeseung about it.  

Logically, you know that your visit to New Haven can’t be delayed for something as selfish as this. People, lives, an entire city, are hinging on answers you might find hidden there, after all. But as soon as you’ve finished, you know what you’ll do next. 

You decide, in your living room, surrounded by a group of six immortal beings, that it doesn’t matter if Heeseung has senses and skills for evasion that far outmatch yours. You will find a way to see him, to talk to him. You have to. 

But then your gaze shifts, lands back on Jungwon. There’s a slight frown that pulls at his lips as he talks to the others, assigning patrol duties and discussing potential complications for your upcoming mission. 

The longer your gaze lingers, the more you see it. The unmistakable weariness. Telltale signs of exhaustion. Jungwon might have lost the physical need for sleep, but the exhaustion that clings to him comes from a different source. And it runs deep. 

All at once, you can’t help but wonder what Jungwon was like, all those centuries ago. Before he met her. The human girl Jake told you about less than an hour ago. You wonder if he still thinks of her now. You know he must. 

You wonder if it hurts just as bad, if the sting is just as sharp every time. And that sends your thoughts spinning to a different, far more dangerous place. 

In five hundred years, when the only memories of you that remain are left in these seven boys, you want them to remember you with fondness. The kind that aches with affection instead of regret. 

If Heeseung wants to prevent an inevitable heartbreak, then you suppose you can’t blame him for it. But to you, his avoidance is cowardice. Distance won’t undo what’s already passed between you. 

If he wants space, then so be it. You have a key in your hands and pressing matters to attend to. Heeseung will only stay hidden so long, and it’s best to do what you can in the meantime. 

You owe it to them, to him, to everyone whose lives have been touched by recent tragedies, to do everything in your power to change the trajectory of current events. 

So, with a new determination, you push Heeseung a little more firmly into the back corner of your mind, tucking all of the loose edges and pressing thoughts into a neat, tidy box to be revisited later. 

Pulling out your phone, you open the digital version of the article Heeseung has written under your name. You give it one more once over, and it’s just as uncannily you as before. 

Tucking away every feeling that inspires for later, you turn back to Jake.

“So,” you venture, eyeing him as he turns the key over between his fingers. “Are you ready to do this?”

…..

New Haven feels only slightly less ominous in full daylight. Although the remnants of winter still cling to the air like a bad omen you can’t quite shake, sunlight streams through the clouds with the steadiness of a sure thing. 

At your side, Jake appears equally uncertain. 

“Your professor has interesting taste.” It’s a joke, something meant to lighten the mood, but you hear the wariness all the same. 

“Wait until you see the inside.”

Jake picks the lock with nearly as much ease as Heeseung had the night prior, and then the two of you are inside. 

Despite his initial uncertainties, Jake handles the looming hallways and odd shadows of the publishing house rather well. Knowing that the other boys have eyes on your professor and are protecting you from afar helps to abate some of the anxiety, even if you still have to force away a handful of unpleasant memories that threaten to rise. 

When the two of you reach Professor Kim’s office, you don’t bother to hesitate. By now, you know what you’ll find on the other side of the door. 

Jake, however, does give a double take at the massive painting you and Heeseung put back into place just one short night ago. 

Gauging his reaction in your periphery, you decide to play dumb. 

“Is something wrong?”

Jake just takes another long look at the painting of the open field, filled with flowers. He tilts his head to the side, and for a moment, you think he rather resembles a curious puppy. 

“No.” Jake shakes his head. “Sorry, I just…” He takes one final look at the painting. “That painting just looked weirdly familiar for a minute.”

“Celedis, right?” You turn to face the vampire. “I thought the same thing, but Heeseung said it’s slightly different. Something about the flowers.”

At that, Jake doesn’t bother to mask his shock. “He told you about Celedis?”

“Showed me, actually. You know,” you reach your arm out towards him. “With the whole physical contact astral projection thing.”

You’re about to ask Jake to help you move the painting, but he’s still stuck in the details you’ve just revealed. 

Jaw nearly slack, he asks, “He showed you Celedis?”

“Yeah,” you frown. You didn’t realize this was new information. “I thought you knew. Back at your house, after I was attacked. He told me – er, showed me – about you guys.”

Remembering the water tower, you add, “And he’s used it, his ability, I mean, to show me other things about his past.” A memory surfaces, one of a young boy sneaking pastries from a medieval kitchen. Your heart gives a sudden lurch. “About Celedis.”

“Fuck, Heeseung.” Jake swears under his breath, but you hear it all the same. 

“Was he not supposed to?” Despite your current feelings of frustration towards Heeseung, your intentions aren’t to get him in trouble or create any sort of rift between him and the others. Suddenly, you’re scrambling to backtrack. “It was really only a couple of things to help me understand, I promise. He would never compromise your safety or–”

“It’s not that.” Jake shakes his head, interrupting. “Heeseung just… his ability isn’t one he uses often.”

At that, your brow furrows. That strikes you as odd. All things considered, it seems like a rather useful gift that should have found several practical applications over the past five hundred odd years. “Why not?” you ask. 

“It’s not…” Jake trails off, hesitating. Trying to decide how much he should share. “It’s not exactly something he takes pleasure in doing.”

Your brow creases further. That only leaves you with more questions than answers. You can’t remember him being particularly bothered either of the times he exercised his ability with you. “What do you mean?”

Again, Jake hesitates. His teeth worry at his bottom lip like that will prevent words from spilling out. “It’s not really my story to tell.”

“What story?” The corners of your lips pull downwards. “I don’t understand.”

For a moment, Jake just takes a long look at you. And then he sighs. “Heeseung explained Celedis to you?”

You nod.

“Including our origin story?” Jake pauses. “Our families?”

Again, you nod. “You were all nobles.”

Jake hums in agreement. “Yeah, we were. After peace was forged, the kingdom had to reorganize itself a bit. Our families were allies now, partners instead of enemies. Eventually, it was decided that each of our families would spearhead one sector of rulership, if you will.” Pausing for a moment, Jake gauges your reaction from his periphery. He asks, “Did he tell you about this?”

Deciding honesty will serve you best here, you shake your head. 

Much to your gratefulness, Jake just sighs again. “My family primarily dealt with the management of food resources. My father tracked annual crop production, rainfall, resources allocation, things like that.”

“Okay…” you nod, trailing off. The picture he paints is a logical one, but you don’t see a connection to Heeseung’s strange supernatural ability yet. 

Jake continues, “Heeseung’s father, on the other hand, always had a knack for strategy. It was decided that his family would be the de facto head of defense and protection of the kingdom. We were allies, but there was still worry that enemies from outside Celedis’ borders might arise. Although, his father’s methods were always a bit more… aggressive than you’d expect in peacetime.”

Frowning, it's hard to imagine. You suppose that hter may be sides to Heeseung you haven’t yet seen, but it’s difficult to think of him as anything but patient. Gentle. Hearing that his father was the complete opposite doesn’t sit well with you. Quietly, you wait for Jake to continue. 

“Even though we kept aging until we were twenty-one, our abilities manifested when we were just kids. And Heeseung, at ten years old, did what any child would do when he suddenly realized he could project his consciousness through touch.” Jake sighs again. “He told his mother.”

The memory comes rushing back unbidden. Heeseung isn’t here to project any visions, but all of a sudden, you feel like you’re back in that field anyway. Watching silently, helpless, as a tiny version of Heeseung accidentally makes his friend ill after his ability manifests for the first time. All over again, your heart hurts for him. Too small to understand what was happening, too frightened to do anything but seek consultation from his mother. 

“His father, of course,” Jake says, “eventually found out, too. And like any great strategist, he saw this newfound ability first and foremost as a tool. Heeseung wasn’t just a heir anymore. He was a weapon. And he was brought along to things no ten-year-old should have to see. War meetings, strategy sessions. Prisoner interrogations.” Jake’s eyes drop to the floor. “Torture, mutilation, executions. He was made to watch all of it.”

The small gasp you let out is involuntary. 

Jake’s eyes find you again. “And then, afterwards, he was forced to relive it, over and over and over. His hand on top of his father’s, so that the kingdom’s leader of defense could analyze every detail. Construct the perfect strategies, devise the best methods for extracting information, for making others bend to his iron will.”

Your stomach rolls with a fresh wave of nausea. 

Jake finishes with, “I’ve known Heeseung for five hundred years, and I can count on one hand the number of times he’s ever utilized his ability with me. Every single one of them has been out of sheer necessity.”

And explaining Celedis to you, sharing pieces of his long lost childhood, are decidedly not. The gravity of it all sinks in with full force, and you suddenly feel as if your knees might buckle under the weight of it all. 

You have to see him. You ache with it now, the overwhelming urge to just say fuck it and run until your feet have carried you all the way to their shared home. Until your fist connects with the outside of his bedroom door and the only barriers that exist between the two of you are easily breakable. 

But Jake has a key in his pocket, and you have the fate of a city resting in the liminal space between you. Selfish desires, no matter how strong, will have to wait. 

“I…” you hesitate for a moment, searching for the right words. “Thank you. For telling me, I mean. For trusting me.” 

Jake nods. “For what it’s worth, we all do. Trust you, that is. Even Jungwon, although he might never admit it out loud. It’s been a while since we’ve spent so much time around a human. They’re all really fond of you, you know.” Jake grins, something just a bit devious entering his eyes. “It drives Heeseung insane.”

“Well,” you return, “For what it’s worth, I’m quite fond of you all, too. Definitely my seven favorite vampires.”

“Aw,” Jake brings a hand to his heart. “You’re too kind. I’m honored, truly.”

Turning back towards the painting, it’s a sobering reminder of why you’re here, what you still need to do. Looking towards Jake at your side, you request, “Help me move this?”

Nodding, a refound sense of determination enters his gaze. “Let’s do it.” 

Painting aside and key in your hand, you find yourself once again face to face with the small opening that separates Professor Kim’s office from that horrifying dungeon of a room that sits just below it. 

Jake hands you a walkie talkie, and you eye it warily for a moment. “We’re sure these things work?’

“Positive,” Jake nods. “We tested them this morning. Oh, and I brought you this, too.” Reaching out, he hands you a headlamp. “He mentioned that it’s pretty dark down there.”

“Good thinking. Thank you.” Clipping the walkie talkie onto your belt loop, you take the light from Jake, securing the headband around your temple. Even though the gravity of the situation isn’t lost on you, you can’t help but feel a bit ridiculous. Giving your front pocket a final tap, you confirm that the key is tucked away safely. “Well,” you turn back to Jake, “see you on the other side.”

“Good luck,” he nods. “And if anything, and I do mean anything, feels off, use that to talk to me, okay?” He just his chin at the walkie talkie at your waist. 

“I will,” you promise. 

And then, with just one final glance over your shoulder, you’re suspended into darkness just as surely as the previous night. For a moment, you consider igniting your headlamp. But you decide against it rather quickly. It’s probably best that you don’t see just how far beneath you the ground is. 

This time, thankfully, your decent feels much shorter. With some of the uncertainty stripped away, your feet are touching solid ground before you know it. 

Once you’re firmly planted, you reach for the light on your forehead. 

It ignites, shooting a strong beam of light straight out in front of you. 

Again, you fight the shiver that traces the length of your spine. It is quite cold down here, with a certain dampness that permeates into your bones, but that’s not why you shudder. 

WIth light revealing their secrets, the cells that line the passage are even more ominous. Dark, rusted iron lies in wait on either side of you. 

Handcuffs, chains, spare pieces of metal you’re sure you don’t want to know the purpose for, line your path as you force your feet forward. Even if you wanted to take a closer look, that’s not why you’re here today. Mission in mind, you continue down the long, dark path towards the opening where you know you’ll find the chest.  

Finally, after a few long minutes, you’re face-to-face with the locked chest again. The desk is still there, too, undisturbed. 

Taking a deep breath, you reach into your pocket, retrieving the key from Professor Kim’s university office. Forcing away any other lingering memories of the previous night that threaten to rise, you bring the key to the lock. 

Your hands are shaking. The cold, the fear, the anticipation. They all settle heavy in your bones and leave you with tremors you can’t quite stop. 

“C’mon,” you whisper out loud to the darkness, with no one but you and the faint sound of dripping water to hear. “Come on.”

Finally, the key aligns just right. 

Despite the tremble in your fingers, despite the improbability that this key even matches this lock, it slides in with ease. 

And when you turn it to the right, you hear a telltale click. 

In your shaking grip, the lock falls open. Sliding the key back into your pocket, you pull the lock out of the loop of the front of the chest. Setting it down at your feet, you take one deep inhale. 

And then, with hands that still tremble, you push the heavy lid of the chest open. 

You’re not sure what you expect. Something horrific, maybe. Some damning evidence of evildoing. Something soaked in blood, something so explicitly terrible that there’s no guesswork to be done. 

But the chest contains only two things. 

The first is a massive stash of what you assume must be distilled moonflower. Organized neatly into rows upon rows of tiny small vials that look terribly similar to the contraption he used to shoot you in the neck the first time you came to the publishing house.

This, in and of itself, feels like a revelation. According to Heeseung, moonflower is rare. And knowledge on proper distillation processes is even more obsolete. To have this much of it distilled and on hand… it must mean something. 

The chest is nearly overflowing with the small vials, save for a small space, just in the middle, where a book sits nestled amongst the moonflower. 

A book that looks nearly identical to one you’ve seen before. To one that still sits forgotten in the bottom drawer of the dresser next to your bed. 

Hands still unsteady, you reach for it. 

At first glance, it’s an exact copy of the strange book you found in the university library all those weeks ago. But as you lean closer, you notice one key difference. The title. 

The one you found tucked away on a library shelf was called Sacred Monsters: The Origins of Immortality. 

But it must be part of a set, an anthology of sorts. 

Because the book between your shaking fingers stares back at you with the title Sacred Monsters: Cures for the Affliction. 

Book in your hands, you realize you have a dilemma. The volume is far too thick to take pictures of every page, but removing it from the chest to bring with you feels risky. 

At least this time, you think as you reach for the walkie talkie at your waist, you don’t have to make all of your decisions alone. 

Pressing the button on the side, you speak into the receiver. “Hey Jake, you there?”

A handful of seconds pass before his response filters through. It’s crackly but perfectly audible. “I’m here. Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” you confirm. “I found something. A book. It’s pretty hefty. I won’t be able to take pictures of all of the pages. Do you think I should bring it with me or just take a few photos and leave it here?”

“It was in the chest?” Jake asks.

“Yeah,” you nod. “I think it might be too risky to bring with me.”

“I agree,” Jake confirms. “Just take a few pictures, and then get out of there.”

“Will do,” you agree. “See you soon.” You secure the walkie talkie back on your belt loop. 

Setting the book down on the cold ground, you sink to your knees in front of it. Reaching for your phone, the first picture youtube is of the front cover.  

Deciding that they’ll want evidence of the moonflower as well, you reach up to angle your camera towards the open chest. 

And then you return to the book. Opening it to the first page, the similarities are uncanny to the one you found in the library before. The font, the slight discoloration, the ink smudges lost to time. It’s too overwhelming to just be a series of unlikely coincidences. It must be connected to the other Sacred Monsters. 

Taking quick photos as you flip through the pages, you force yourself not to linger, no matter how much curiosity eats away at you. You’ll have time to review the pages later, you tell yourself. Right now, the best course of action is to get in and out as quickly as you can. 

Still, a handful of phrases and words jump out at you as you photograph the pages. 

Moonflower distillation…

Degeneration…

Test subjects…

Nightshade…

And finally, just as you’re drawing to the end of the book, a phrase catches your eye. 

The Kingdom of Celedis. 

Your heart drops into your stomach, body going cold.

He knows. You’re not sure how much. You're not sure exactly what. You have no idea why. But your professor has a book locked away in a secret underground prison beneath his publishing house. A book that mentions a kingdom lost to time, forgotten by everyone, preserved only in the minds of seven immortal beings. 

Professor Kim knows. And somehow, that’s more terrifying than anything else contained in this dark, decrepit place. 

Taking a photo of the final page in the book, you let it fall shut once again. Placing it back in the chest just as meticulously as you found it, you close the lid again and slide the padlock through the hold. 

The key goes in just as easily this time, locks as easily as it opened. Despite the obvious age of everything else in this place, the lock has no signs of rust, no hint of disuse. 

It’s been opened regularly, you assume. And likely by your professor. 

As that realization begins to settle, the walkie talkie on your hip gives another disconcerting crackle. Immediately, your heart leaps into your throat, mind spinning with the worst possibilities. 

You’re at the very end of the passage. It will take you at least ten minutes to be back in the office and another three to be out of the publishing house. More than that if you account for the potential of your professor’s heightened senses. 

After a moment of extended silence, Jake’s voice filters through. 

“Everything still okay down there?”

Your mind swims with relief, but your pulse doesn’t slow. 

Bringing the device to your mouth, you press the button on the side. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just finished. I’ll be back up soon.”

Another beat of silence passes. And then, “Glad to hear it. I’ll be here.”

But you can’t help but confirm, “They still have eyes on Professor Kim?”

Jake answers quickly, “Yeah. Sunghoon and Niki have eyes on him. He hasn’t left his house.”

Tucking the key back into your pocket, you begin the journey back, your quick footsteps echoing against wet stone. “Good. See you soon.”

Down the narrow passageway, your phone feels leaden in your pocket, weighed down with evidence you’re not sure how to parse. You want to be out of here as quickly as you can, back in your apartment where you can compare the two books. Where you can show them to the others. 

Thankfully, again, the way out feels shorter. Despite the ache in your muscles as you pull your body up the ladder, time passes quickly as you ascend back to the publishing house. 

True to his word, Jake waits for you just outside of the narrow entrance. He reaches out a hand to help pull you back into the small room. 

Giving you a quick once over, he frowns. “You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

You practically have. Celedis. But this isn’t the place. 

You shake your head and tell him as much. “Not here.”

Despite the brevity of your words, Jake understands. Instead of pressing you further, he helps you slide the mural back into position, once again covering the opening to the room below. 

Giving the painting a final look, you’re sure of it now. It is Celedis. It has to be. Even if some of the details are slightly wrong. 

But your head is spinning and your thoughts are jumbled and you can’t be the only one with the weight of so many revelations weighing on your mind. 

As the two of you make your way back down the hallway towards the front door of New Haven, Jake tells you, “We’ll reconvene at our place. We can go over everything there.”

You shake your head. “Tell everyone to meet at my apartment instead.” 

“What?” A flicker of confusion creases his brow as his head tilts to the side. “Why?”

“It’ll make sense soon, I promise,” you tell him. “There’s something there I need to show you. All of you.”

Jake glances at you, but he doesn’t question you further. His earlier words echo in your mind. “For what it’s worth, we all do. Trust you, that is.”

At your side, he pulls out his phone as you pull the door to New Haven shut behind you. “Jungwon,” you hear him say. “Change of plans. We’ll meet at her apartment instead.” 

Again, the questions must be short lived, and Jake is ending the conversation just as quickly as it started. 

…..

When you arrive back at your apartment, Jungwon, Jay, Sunoo, and Niki are waiting for you in the parking lot. 

Stepping out of the driver’s seat, Jake nods at Jungwon. Then, after glancing around, he asks, “Where’s Sunghoon?”

“Keeping an eye on the professor,” Jungwon answers. “We thought it would be best to have at least one of us tailing him still.”

Jake nods. 

Jungwon turns to you. “I take it you found something. And there’s something here at your apartment you want us to see?”

You nod. “Yeah. A… well, a book. Two books, actually,” you amend. “Let’s go up,” you nod at the staircase, “and I can show you.”

Jungwon hesitates for a moment. A meaningful glance that you can’t quite decipher passes between the five of them. 

“Okay,” he finally acquiesces. “Lead the way.”

Phone heavy in your pocket, you climb the two flights of stairs with the five of them trailing behind you. The distance they put between you is slightly odd, but you don’t have much space left in your mind to think much of it. 

That is, until you reach your doorstep. And find it already occupied. 

“Heeseung,” you breathe. A force of habit more than anything. 

He’s already looking at you. Heard your conversation in the parking lot and your footsteps on the stairs and your heartbeat in your chest. He knew the exact moment you would round the corner and the number of breaths it would take you to reach him. 

His dark eyes reflect afternoon sunlight in a way that looks all too much like stars, and you have no idea what to do with any of it. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, as if his words are anything more than a bandaid on a bullet wound, as if the five boys behind you can’t hear the words that pass between you. 

And you’ve been stewing in it since this morning, thinking of all the ways you could beg him, plead with him, convince him to let whatever lies between the two of you to blossom, to grow wings. 

But now, with his eyes on you and the fate of a city in the pocket of your jeans, words fail you. 

Finally, your lips part. “I have something to show you.” And now you’re the one putting up walls, building barriers. For now, he’s not a boy that kissed you until your head was spinning and you couldn’t make right from left. He’s a vampire, and the two of you have a job to do. 

Your hurt, your desires, your wounded pride still sit heavy in your gut. 

But you owe it to him – this boy that was born a prince and sharpened into a weapon and cursed with a blessing he never asked for – to bring an end to this particular bout of suffering. 

To let the tragic kingdom of his youth rest once and for all, even if you have to reopen wounds in the process. 

Across from you, Heeseung only nods. 

Stepping to the side, he lets you be the one to open the door. He doesn’t need to linger outside; he’s already been invited in, more than once. But he does anyway. He waits for your words, for your approval, and then he follows you inside. Behind him, the other five exchange long, sideways glances. 

Just like this morning, the sight of the six of them crammed on your small couch is almost enough to inspire a smile. Under any other circumstances, you’d be laughing out loud. Now, however, you just give a long exhale. 

“They key worked,” you begin. “It opened the chest.”

Five hundred years, and they all have yet to perfect their patience. 

“And?” Jay is practically tripping over himself to get the question out. 

“It was full of distilled moonflower,” you tell them. Vials like the one the professor used to inject me in the neck. Hundreds of them.”

“What?” Sunoo gasps.

“How?” Niki frowns. 

“Moonflower is rare,” Jake shakes his head. “There’s no way he could have that much of it.”

“Well, he must know some secret place where it grows or something,” you suggest. “Because he does.”

“No,” Jungwon shakes his head. “You don’t understand. It’s not only a matter of knowing where it grows. Moonflower is a magical substance, and magic is finite. It simply doesn’t grow in abundance. In order for someone to have a stash that large…”

“He’s been collecting it,” Heeseung finishes. “For a long, long time.”

“He’s been a vampire for twenty years,” you remind them. “Maybe he’s been collecting it just as long.”

Again, Jungwon shakes his head. “Hundreds of vials isn’t something that can be achieved in twenty years. Hundreds of vials is hundreds of years.”

“But that doesn’t make any sense.” You frown, wheels in your brain beginning to spin. 

“There are two possibilities,” Jake says. “Either your professor is lying about how old he is…”

“Or he’s not the only one that’s been collecting and distilling moonflower,” Jay finishes. 

Sunoo shakes his head. “We haven’t seen any evidence of him working with others.”

“Either way,” Niki frowns, “Something's not quite right.”

“The moonflower.” Jungwon looks at you again. “Was it the only thing in the chest?”

You shake your head. “No. There was also a book.”

“Right.” Jake nods. “The one you took pictures of.”

“Yeah,” you nod. “I left it in the chest, obviously, but I took photos of the pages. I didn’t have a chance to look too closely while I was there, but I think it talks about…” you trail off for a moment, eyes flickering to Heeseung, despite yourself. “I think it talks about Celedis.”

“Celedis?” Jake balks. 

“That’s impossible.” Jay shakes his head. 

But Jungwon just looks at you. “Earlier in the parking lot, you said you had two books to show us.”

“Yeah,” you sigh. “I do. I was in the university library a few weeks ago, and I found this book. It was about vampires, but it was… I don’t know. It was strange. It wasn’t vitriolic or propaganda. It was almost like a diary. The reason I wanted you all to come here is because I checked it out. I have it here, in my bedroom. But the weirdest part is the title.”

“The title?” Sunoo prompts. 

“It’s called Sacred Monsters: The Origins of Immortality. And the book I found in the chest today, it looked really similar. And it was called Sacred Monsters: Cures for the Affliction.”

A beat of silence passes. Another. 

“That,” Niki finally says, “Doesn’t feel like a coincidence.”

Standing, you nod. “I don’t think so either.” Walking to your bedroom, you open the bottom drawer of your dresser. With the events of the past weeks, part of you expects the book to have vanished mysteriously. To have been nothing but a figment of your overactive imagination. 

Despite your musings, Sacred Monsters: The Origins of Immortality lies undisturbed just as you left it. With careful hands, you pull it out of your dresser and bring it back to the living room, setting it on the coffee table in front of the boys. 

“This is the book from the library?” Jungwon asks. 

“Yeah,” you confirm. “And I don’t have a printer or anything, but I’ll send you the photos I took of the book from the chest today.”

Scrolling through the files you send him, Jungwon pauses on the cover, glancing between it and the book on the coffee table. “I see what you mean. These must be related.”

Reaching for the book, Jay flips open the front cover, frowning. “There’s no author or publication date.”

“I know,” you agree. “It’s all so odd. It wasn’t even in the library system,” you add, remembering that night at the library. “The librarian had to manually check it out to me.”

“Jesus,” Sunoo grimaces, glancing at some of the pages over Jay’s shoulder. “This is super depressing.”

“Yeah,” Jay nods. “I see what you mean. This is definitely about vampires, but it’s nothing like other human-written vampire literature. 

Next to them, Jungwon scrolls through the images you’ve sent him, enlarging photos to read pieces of text. With each and every passing image, his frown grows deeper and deeper. 

“We have a problem,” Jungwon finally says. Looking back at the photo, he amends, “Several, actually.” 

You assume he must have drawn the same conclusion as you. “He must know about Celedis, right? The professor, I mean.”

“Yes,” Jungwon confirms. “I’m sure he does.”

“But how?” Jay presses.

“I don’t know.” Jungwon’s mouth pulls into a grim line. “But that’s not all.”

“This page,” He holds up his phone. “It’s a guide. Explaining in excruciating detail how to harvest, store, and distill moonflower. It also discusses its side effects. On humans and vampires.”

Scrolling to the next photo, he adds, “It looks like they studied these side effects. Through experimentation. Most of these pages are entries. Data. Experiments.” Looking at all of you, he lets the weight of that sink in for a moment. “Whoever wrote this book tested moonflower and its effects. On humans and vampires.”

“What?” Jake frowns. “The professor tested moonflower on vampires?”

“Not the professor, necessarily,” Jungwon shakes his head. “But yes, whoever wrote this book must have.”

“The cells,” you breathe, a sickening realization beginning to build in the pit of your stomach. “The cells beneath New Haven. It wasn’t just a jail.”

“It was a lab,” Heeseung finishes, locking eyes with you. 

Jungwon holds up another photo. “I think you’re right. Look at this.” You all squint as he enlarges the photo. There’s a date at the top – September 13, 1942. And next to it, a number V029.

Beneath it are a series of notes too small to make out from where you sit. Jungwon reads them, “Dosage: 8 milliliters. Injection site: Lower throat, right side. Time of effect: 2 minutes, 19 seconds. 

“V029 continues to exhibit strange behaviors under the influence of Moonflower. Although dosages have varied, the results remain consistent. Today, she spoke again about “Celedis.” When prompted with the addition of pain, she requested drawing paper. Upon refusal, she would not speak. A second dosage was administered (6ml) and further infliction of pain was utilized. V029 did not respond audibly to any given prompt or stimuli.”

“Celedis,” Jake echoes. “One of his… test subjects,” he spits with vitriol, “was the one to mention Celedis.”

“That still doesn’t make sense,” Jay points out. “It doesn’t matter if his test subjects were vampires. We’re the only ones that know about Celedis. Every other vampire in existence is a descendant of the eighth son. None of them should have any idea that Celedis ever existed.” 

“And we don’t know that these were the Professor’s test subjects,” Niki points out, echoing Jungwon’s earlier words. The page is dated for 1942. If he is telling the truth about when he was turned, he wasn’t even alive yet.”

“There must be some way to corroborate that,” you frown. “He said that he was turned the same night his entire family was massacred. Obviously, it wouldn’t have been reported as a vampire attack, but there should be something about it. Some kind of public record of their deaths, at least.”

Heeseung nods, pulling out his phone. “I’ll see if I can find anything.”

“Um,” Sunoo interjects, holding up the original Sacred Monsters book, the one you brought home from the library. “We might have another problem.”

Six pairs of eyes turn to look at him. 

“Most of these entries just seem like personal writing, like you said,” Sunoo nods at you. “But this section towards the end, here…” He trails off for a moment. “It’s called Blood Moon Ritual.”

“What?” Six voices echo in unison. 

“ There’s only one entry,” Sunoo continues, frowning. “And it doesn't really make sense. It’s a poem, like the others,” Sunoo explains. “Here, I’ll read it.

“The Origins of Immortality

That which was lost can be gained. 

The requirements are the same. 

That which was gained can be lost.

The sacrifice goes unchanged. 

Every life can end.

Every life can endure.

Fate is always determined

By what the wish is for.”

For a moment, your living room is silent. 

Jay breaks it by asking, “What the fresh hell does that mean?”

“Literature majors,” Niki glances between you and Heeseung. “Either of you want to pipe in on this one?”

“I mean,” you start, “without context, it kind of just sounds like a bunch of nonsense.” 

Before you can turn the words around in your mind again, Heeseung speaks up from where he sits. “I think I found something,” he says, holding up his phone. 

“Really?” You ask, just at the same time as Jay presses, “What?”

“There is a record from,” he double checks the date, “almost exactly twenty years ago. It’s anonymous, but it gives ages. A nine-year-old child and her forty-three year-old mother. The official cause of death is listed as an animal mauling.”

“That matches, then. That’s exactly what the professor told me.”

“There’s more, though,” Heeseung frowns. 

“More?” Your brow creases. 

“Another death.” Heeseung matches your gaze. “The child’s great grandfather, age ninety-one. And the location of death… Didn’t Professor Kim tell you that he was visiting family outside of the city?”

You nod. “He said it happened in a remote cabin. A group of nomadic vampires attacked them there.” 

Heeseung shakes his head. “The location listed here is the city. This city.”

Your frown deepens. Heeseung sticks the final nail in the coffin. “Their bodies were discovered near a row of abandoned buildings where there have been past instances of mountain lion activity. It’s on the far side of the city. Just a few blocks away from New Haven.”

You echo his words. “His family died near New Haven?” It’s odd, the way the truth seems to mingle with lies. The way your professor seems to have chosen strange pieces of the story to be dishonest about. “Why would he tell the truth about his family dying from a vampire attack twenty years ago but lie about where it happened? And not mention a grandfather?”

“I don’t know,” Heeseung says. The reality of just how much you have yet to uncover begins to settle uncomfortably in the air. Every discovery seems like it only leads to ten more mysteries to solve, another dozen dead ends. 

“I’m still stuck on Celedis,” Jay says. “We need some way to figure out who this person was and how they knew Celedis. We need–”

“We need the whole book,” you finish. 

It’s not a question or a matter of opinion. It’s the obvious conclusion to be drawn. 

Jungwon nods. “Sunghoon should still have eyes on the Professor. I’ll confirm that he’s still home, and then we can–”

“Are you insane?” Heeseung isn’t looking at his phone anymore. His search for more information on the tragic deaths of Professor Kim’s family are forgotten for the moment. “She was just there twice, and you want her to go back again? Now?”

“Heeseung…” Jake warns, taking care to guard his tone. 

“I know it’s not ideal,” Jungwon tries to placate him, “But that book has answers that we need. Right now, all we can do is speculate. If your professor has a massive stash of distilled moonflower and knows about Celedis, who knows what else he might have access to? What else he might know? People are still dying, and he’s connected to it all somehow. I’m sure of it.”

“I know that,” Heeseung bites, visibly frustrated. “But why does she have to be the one to–”

“And how exactly are you planning to get one of us down there?” Jungwon sighs, running an open palm over his features. “I don’t want to argue with you, but unless you have a plan for getting Professor Kim to invite you into his secret vampire torture chamber, ___ is the only one of us that can get this book.”

“It’s okay,” you finally interject. Something about the two of them arguing over your fate while you sit and watch doesn’t quite sit right with you. More than that, something about him always speaking over you, acting as if it’s all in your best interest, while also not bothering to give you the time of day, is all too reminiscent of the other decisions he’s made on his own. 

Still, you choose to be gentle. “I debated with Jake, actually, about whether I should bring the whole book or not. We thought this would be safer for now, but I knew it was a possibility that I would have to go back for it. I was prepared for this.”

Heeseung looks like he wants to say more, like he wants to argue, but something in your expression has his words dying on his lips. 

“I’ll get ready,” you nod. Retreating to your bedroom, you add, “Just give me a minute to grab my jacket.”

In all honesty, your jacket is the least of your concerns. Because despite your resolve, despite the will that you’ve forced yourself to steel, Heeseung is right. 

Even at a distance, he can still read you like the back of his hand. Like an open book with nothing but pages for him to peruse at his pleasure. 

The thought of going back to New Haven, of going back into that cold, dark, empty expanse of horror sends your mind spiraling. Walking into the bathroom adjoined to your bedroom, you place both hands on the counter on opposite sides of the sink. It’s an attempt, a feeble one, maybe, at grounding yourself. 

Forcing your gaze upwards, you match your own eye in the mirror. A million emotions are reflected back at you. Determination, weariness, resolve, fear. 

You’re scared. No matter what you tell them, no matter what you tell yourself, you feel it. Swimming in your mind, nestling in your bones. A terror rooted so deep you’re not sure you’ll ever get it out. 

You don’t want to go to New Haven. You don’t want to descend down that ladder. You don’t want to risk your life or your comfort or your sanity. You don’t want to have feelings for an immortal being that needs blood to survive. 

But reality doesn’t bend to the whims of frightened girls, and ignoring the things that scare you won’t make them go away. 

Bravery, you think, as you watch your reflection in the mirror. It’s not just reserved for moments that feel grand in scale. It’s also here, in places like this. Where there’s nothing but you, your reflection, and all of the things you wish you could avoid waiting for you just outside the door. 

So with a final inhale, you force your features into something neutral, something that at least five of the boys waiting for you outside will believe. And then you walk back to your bedroom, making sure to pull your jacket over your shoulders before stepping back out into the living room. 

Jake stands from his seat on the couch when you enter the room again. Heeseung avoids your gaze. 

“You ready?” Jake asks. 

“As I’ll ever be,” you nod, forcing a false sense of cavalier lightness into your tone. 

“Good thing I left the headlamp in the car,” Jake jokes, pulling on his shoes. 

“And the walkie talkies,” you agree. 

Despite yourself, you can’t quite stop your eyes from wandering back towards your living room one last time. 

Jungwon is dictating new assignments while the others listen attentively. Well, three of them anyway. 

Heeseung just sits there, his eyes still trained on the ground. 

You’re sure he can feel it, the way your gaze settles on the side of his face, traces his profile and then does it again. But no matter how long your gaze lingers, he won’t return it. 

And maybe this is it, you think. Maybe you’ll just have to make peace with the fact that all you’ll ever get from him are closed doors and avoided eye contact. 

He’s had his teeth in your neck and your blood on his lips, and despite it all, the only thing he has for you now is a cold shoulder disguised as concern. 

And if this self flagellation is some kind of atonement, an apology for a crime he’s convinced himself he’s committed, then that, you think, is where his true selfishness lies. 

He can call it altruism and immortal wisdom all he wants. But caring for you from a distance will never be something you thank him for. 

It’s not a declaration you can make in front of an audience, so with a final sigh, you turn towards your front door and follow Jake’s retreating figure from it. 

As it so happens, you can be selfish too. You pretend you don’t feel Heeseung’s eyes on your back the entire way out. 

However, you must not be as good at disguising your fear as you thought, because Jake is nothing but apologies while the two of you walk side by side down the stairs. 

“I really am sorry,” he breathes into frigid air. The warmth of his breath creates a visible cloud. “I shouldn’t have told you to just leave the book there, but I was worried–”

“It’s not your fault.” You shake your head. “I thought it would be best to leave the book, too. And it’s okay, really. I’ll be just fine.”

“Still,” he reiterates. “I’m sorry that it has to be you. It can’t be fun going down there all alone. And especially since we know what it was used for now…”

Your lips flatten. “Are you trying to make me feel better or worse?”

“Sorry,” He laughs, apologizing again. “You’re right. No more gloomy talk. We’ll just get you in and out as fast as we can, and we can worry about the rest of it later.” 

“Works for me.” You force a tight smile, reaching for the car door. If it’s any consolation, you’re glad that it’s Jake you’re with. His presence is steady, carries a certain kind of lightness that helps to chase away some of the lingering storm clouds, even if just for a moment. 

But just as you move to slide into the passenger seat, you hear the telltale sound of footsteps on pavement over your shoulder. They’re rapid, loud. Whoever it is, they’re running. 

Turning over your shoulder, your brow creases in confusion when your eyes land on Heeseung. Again, it’s not you he’s looking at. 

Heesung is talking to Jake when he says, “Change of plans. Jungwon wants you down by the river.”

“What?” Jake frowns. “But what about–”

“I’ve got her.” Heeseung’s words cut through the air like an arrow, pierce through your uncertainties like a knife. 

“I…” Jake trails off. He’s looking at you, not Heeseung when he asks, “You sure?”

“Go,” you nod. “I’m sure Jungwon has his reasons.” It’s flimsy reasoning, and between the three of you, no one is convinced that Jungwon is responsible for this change. 

But they’re switching places all the same. Jake gives you one final glance over his shoulder, and you swear you see him shake his head before he heads back up the stairs to where the other boys still sit in your apartment.

And Heeseung still won’t look at you, even as he walks around to the other side of the car and slides into it, sitting only a handful of inches away from you. 

It’s a reflection of this morning, an echo of earlier as the car turns out of your apartment parking lot and sets course for New Haven. Only this time, it’s Heeseung in the driver’s seat, not Jake. 

The silence between the two of you extends for long minutes, nothing but the gentle hum of the car heater to fill the empty air. 

Finally, with nothing but road ahead of you, Heeseung exhales a long sigh. “You don’t have to do this, you know. You say the word, and I’ll turn this car around. We can go back to your apartment or to my place or somewhere else entirely. I’ll get you on a plane out of the country, if that’s what you want.”

You raise a brow. His meager attempts at kindness have started to lose their shine. “And the book?”

Heeseung shakes his head. “Fuck that stupid book.” 

Easy to say, maybe. But both of you know it’s not true. Besides, “I don’t want to leave the country.”

“Really?” You can’t tell if he’s serious when he adds, “I hear that Costa Rica is lovely this time of year.”

“I’m sure it is,” you concede. If he wants to skirt around admissions, you’ll run headfirst into them. “But I’d be worried about you.”

Heeseung only sighs. “I can take care of myself.”

“That’s not what I mean.” You’re sure he knows it, but being difficult on purpose isn’t new to either of you. “And we’ve had this argument before. My mind hasn’t changed, and clearly yours hasn’t either. If you get to decide how to live your life without any input from me, then I expect the same courtesy from you.”

“It’s different,” he insists. Now, at least, he’s talking. Even if it’s only to beg for a bit of your understanding. “I’ve already lived a life. Too many lives. Five hundred years worth of life with no sign of any end coming soon.”

You have to disagree. “Have you, though? You know, when people talk about having lived a life, they’re not just talking about years. They’re talking about family, friendships, community. Achievements, accomplishments.” The last word dangles from your lips. Oh, fuck it. “Love.”

Next to you, Heeseung is silent. You press on, “I understand that you’ve made up your mind. That with all your five hundred years of immortal wisdom, you’ve decided you get to make decisions for the both of us. But you know what else is a normal part of life? Kissing someone and regretting it. You can just avoid me at parties, you know. You don’t have to threaten to send me to Costa Rica.”

“It wasn’t a threat–”

But you’re not done. “I liked it, by the way. In case you were wondering. I don’t care if you regret it.” Your pride feels like something forgotten, discarded long ago. Maybe it’s a facade or false bravado, but you find it easy to bare your secrets here in the passenger seat. “I liked it when you kissed me. I liked the way it felt when you put your hands on me. I liked the way you lost control with my blood in your mouth. I went home and I laid in bed and I thought about it. All alone in my bedroom, with my hands on my skin everywhere you touched me while I pretended like it was you. I dreamed about you. I woke up thinking about you.”

Heeseung whispers your name. A warning, a plea. He might as well be shouting in your ear. 

“You can avoid eye contact and pretend it never happened all that you want. I’m not going to. In fact, I’m probably going to think about it again tonight. Do what you want. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t have feelings for you, and I’m not going to avoid New Haven,” Your chest is heaving now. Between words, it’s easy to forget that you need to breathe, too. “And I’m not running away to fucking Costa Rica.”

“You think I enjoy this?” Heeseung’s knuckles are white against the steering wheel. “You think I like having this… this war in my brain? This constant struggle? You think I’m playing with you? Toying with your feelings because I can’t make up my mind?” He shakes his head and sends your thoughts scattering. “I’m not. You used to glare at me across the lecture hall, and it would be the highlight of my day. I looked forward to every assignment Professor Kim gave us, because it meant I’d have another chance to read something you’d written. I’ve been alive for five hundred years, and I don’t think I’ve ever found anything that makes me feel the way your words do. For the first time in my life, I felt like someone else could take what I was feeling and put it into words.”

That gives you pause. He… thought about you? Even then? He read your writing?

“And it didn’t stop there. I used to go home from class imagining, praying that I could be like every other person in that stupid class. That I could be just another kid in my twenties worried about disappointing their parents and picking the wrong major. That I could waste my afternoons staring at the pretty girl in my literature course that couldn’t be bothered to give me the time of day. Fantasizing about asking her to study with me at a coffee shop or share a workroom in the library.”

Your eyes are wide now, and they’re trained directly on him. Heeseung is still looking out at the road in front. 

“You think I don’t think about you too? That I want to pretend none of it ever happened? You’re wrong. All I do is think about you, and all I do is want. But they’re things I can’t have, things I can’t be. I wish I could fall asleep dreaming about you. I wish I could wake up with you on my mind and know that I only have so many days to do something about it.”

He shakes his head, as if that will clear the errant thoughts that have clearly begun to consume him.

“But I can’t. I can’t sleep. I can’t shut off my brain, even for a second. All I do is think. All I do is remember. You think I didn't like it? You think I didn’t go home with the feeling of your skin on my hands and the taste of your blood in my mouth? You think I don’t spend every waking hour with the sound of you whimpering burned into my mind? I’ve wanted things before, but never like this. I made peace with myself a long time ago. I know what I am and I understand that ultimately, my existence is a burden to this world. I’ve learned to stop wishing for impossible things. But every time I look at you, I just… I just want.”

Your voice is small. You don’t know how to respond to any of it. “It’s okay to want things.”

“It’s not.” Heeseung shakes his head. “Not when they’re impossible. Not when it will only bring pain to the people I care about. I don’t want to be someone you avoid at a party. I don’t want to watch you move on with your life when this inevitably ends. But all of those things you talked about earlier, all of those parts that make up a life – friendship, family, community. I can’t give you any of that.”

It’s hard to hear. It hurts to see how visibly upset he is about all of it. 

“It doesn’t matter if I live for another five hundred years or a thousand years or until the end of time itself. I already know I’ll spend all of it thinking about you.  I’ve made peace with it before, and I’ll learn to do it again, but I can’t take your life from you. And even if I wanted to, I can’t watch you grow to resent me for it.”

In front of you, the road appears endless. With sunlight reflecting in the rearview mirror, the day is dying, and your hopes are going with it. 

“When I tell you that I’ll send you to Costa Rica if that’s what you want, it’s not because I’m trying to get rid of you. It’s because I want you to make the choices that are best for you. Not for me, not for the boys, not even for this city. I don’t expect you to take me up on it. Your moral compass will be the death of me, I’m sure. But the offer will always be there.”

Your emotions feel frivolous. Your desires feel petulant. Still, you can’t help but counter, “And what if I resent you now? For not even giving this a chance?”

Heeseung smiles, a wry thing that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Then I’ll take comfort in knowing you have a whole life ahead of you to get over it.”

It’s a stalemate that has the car stumbling back into silence, even as your head spins. He noticed you, he thought about you, long before you ever thought you were even a blip on his radar. 

He read your words and connected to them. As a writer, it feels as if he’s admitted to seeing your soul and finding it beautiful. As a human, it makes you want to fall in love, despite all of the ways he’s thoroughly and entirely erased that possibility. 

You’re not sure how long you sit in the quiet, mind reeling. It can’t be more than a handful of minutes, though, before the scenery around you begins to take a familiar shape. You’re close. 

Early evening has just begun to close in. Around you, shadows are growing longer, street lights flickering on as the last rays of sunlight fade from the day. 

Still a few blocks away, Heeseung pulls into an empty parking lot. 

You frown. “Surely we can get a little closer than this?” It’s seamless, how well the two of you slip into your roles. You have a job to do. In the face of that reality, it’s as if the past twenty minutes don’t exist at all. The only evidence is the lingering tension that simmers in the air. 

“It’s not that.” Heeseung pulls his phone out, frowning at the screen. “Sunghoon’s not responding.”

“What?” Your eyes widen. “Do you think he’s okay?”

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Heeseung assures you. “He was responding to Jungwon just fifteen minutes ago. But that means we haven’t heard from anyone with eyes on the professor since then.” Weighing his options mentally, Heeseung finally suggests, “Why don’t we drive by New Haven first? We can make sure everything looks okay. If Sunghoon still hasn’t responded by then, we can make a decision.” 

“Okay,” you nod. 

Back on the road, it takes you less than five minutes to reach the publishing house. Immediately, you can tell that something is wrong. 

“There’s a car,” you whisper, even though you’re still inside the safety of the car, still driving down the road. “There’s a car parked out front.” 

“I see it.” Heeseung’s lips pull into a tight line. 

“I think it’s his car.” Your eyes widen. “The professor’s.”

“Yeah,” Heeseung confirms. “I think so too.”

“Why is he here now?” You wonder. “Didn’t you say Sunghoon had eyes on him at his house just fifteen minutes ago?”

“Something’s not right,” Heeseung agrees. “I’m going to turn around. We’ll head to the house and figure things out there.” He maintains an even tone, but you can sense the hint of panic in his voice, the slight tremble as he turns the car around and starts to head in the opposite direction. 

“Sunghoon…” You trail off. 

“Try calling him.” Heeseung passes you his phone, jaw tight. 

Taking Heeseung’s phone from his outstretched hand, you press the call button. The phone rings. In the quiet, each shrill ring sounds like thunder, burns like terror. 

“He’s not answering.” Your voice is quiet as you state the obvious. The call drops from lack of response. 

“Fuck,” Heeseung swears beneath his breath. But then he reasons, “I’m sure it’s fine. He’s probably just occupied at the moment or–”

The sound of a ringtone suddenly fills the car. 

“Is that him?” A wave of relief washes over his features. But it’s premature. 

“No,” you shake your head, frowning at the dark expanse of Heeseung’s screen. “It’s my phone. Hold on.” Digging it out of your pocket, the caller ID only makes the dread in the pit of your stomach intensify further. 

Again, your phone rings, the sound cutting through the car like a knife. 

“Who is it?” Heeseung asks. “Your heart just jumped like crazy.”

“It’s Professor Kim.” Your words are barely a whisper. 

“What?” Despite the task at hand, Heeseung takes his eyes off of the road and turns to you. 

“I should answer it, right?” You frown, fingers trembling. “He’s probably just following up on the draft I submitted earlier.” You’re not sure who you’re trying to convince – Heeseung or yourself. 

“Fuck,” Heeseung repeats. “I… yeah, you should answer.”

“Okay, just,” you sit up a little straighter, as if your professor can somehow see you. “Just don’t make any sounds.”

Sliding your thumb across your screen, you accept the call. 

“Hello? Professor Kim?”

“Hello,” he greets from the other end. Oily slick as always, but there’s something ragged in his voice, too. As if he’s recently exerted himself. At the very least, he doesn’t leave you wondering for long. “I had a chance to review your article.”

“Oh,” you reply, some of the tension easing from your shoulders. “What did you think?”

“Outstanding work,” he praises. “Truly. You are one of the most gifted students I’ve ever come across.”

Under any other circumstances, you’d beam with the praise. Now, your anxiety only heightens. Twists knots in the pit of your stomach. “I… I appreciate that, professor. It means a lot coming from you.”

“I’d like to discuss my suggestions for edits, of course.”

“Right,” you nod. “Could I call you back? I don’t have my computer at the moment, and–”

“I’d like to discuss with you in person, actually.”

“Oh,” you force neutrality into your voice, even as your heart gives a sudden lurch. “Okay. I’m available tomorrow, if there’s a time–”

Again, he interrupts you. “I would like to speak with you tonight. And I have something to show you. It’s quite urgent, I’m afraid.”

“Tonight?” You echo. And ‘something to show you’? At your side, Heeseung stiffens. “It’s a bit late. I’m not sure…”

“With the recent deaths in mind, I’m sure you understand that time is of the essence. The sooner we can publish your work, the sooner the victims can be avenged.”

You turn to Heeseung, a question in your eyes. Matching his gaze, you see the way his head begins to shake. His silent disapproval of the idea. But then he stops, sighs. 

In the driver’s seat, next to you, Heeseung silently mouths three words. 

It’s your choice. 

It almost makes you want to cry. His small adjustment. His trust in your ability to choose for yourself. 

Into the receiver, you ask, “Where should I meet you?”

“The publishing office,” your professor responds, approval in his voice. “How soon can you be here?”

Mentally constructing an alibi, you settle with, “I’m not too far away, actually. Probably twenty minutes. Maybe a little longer.”

“Excellent. I’ll see you shortly.”

The line clicks dead. 

“I don’t like this,” Heeseung’s voice is dripping in unease. 

Yours is no better. “I don’t either, but it’s all part of earning his trust, right?”

“He said he had something to show you. I don’t like all of the possibilities that could entail.”

“I’m sure it’s just something to do with the article,” you try to reason. “He’s probably prepared it as a mock publication or something and thinks I’ll be thrilled to see my writing in an official format.”

Under any other circumstances, you would be.

On the topic of your article, you’re reminded that the words in question aren’t actually yours at all. If this car is a place for revelations, you decide to add one more to the list. 

“How did you do it, by the way?” Your gaze traces Heeseung’s side profile where he looks out at the road ahead. “How did you write that article just like I would have?”

Heeseung just sighs. “I told you,” his voice is low, quiet, “your writing means a lot to me. I’ve spent a lot of time with it. I suppose that made it easy to emulate.”

“Well, thank you.”

“For stalking your writing?” Heeseung teases. 

“For reading it,” you correct. “For taking the time to understand it.” To understand me. 

“You act like it was torture for me.”

“Well, I do remember you calling one of my pieces ‘nauseatingly vitriolic.’” It feels like a lifetime ago, that evening in the writing workshop. 

“That was one piece,” Heeseung defends. “And it wasn’t really you.”

“No,” you agree, “it wasn’t.”

Heeseung glances at you, and for a moment, you let yourself imagine it too. A world where he’s just Heeseung and you’re just you. 

Two humans that met by chance, worried about disappointing their parents and picking the wrong major. Arguing over semantics and vying for attention from their professor. Stealing glances across the lecture hall that start to linger just a little too long. Meeting outside of class and pretending it’s nothing more than a terrible coincidence every time, even if you never fail to slide down into the seat next to his. 

Stealing kisses outside of your professor’s office. Sharing a cup of warm tea at a sporting event both of you are only pretending to understand. Falling in love. 

Simple moments. Quiet moments. Human moments. 

Heeseung reminds you just how far away that version of reality is when he asks, “Should I turn around, then? It’s already been five minutes.” His voice is quiet, like there’s a fantasy he doesn’t want to disturb, too. 

You shake your head. “Take a right at the next light, and drop me off at the bus stop. There’s a group of cafes a couple stops down that are popular with students. If he asks, I’ll say I was at one of them when he called.”

Heeseung doesn’t bother to protest. He follows your directions until the two of you are parked on the curb of the bus stop. Bidding him goodbye, you step out from the passenger seat. “I’ll meet you back here,” you tell him. “I’ll take the bus this far, just to be safe.”

“Okay,” he agrees, “but message me before that. As soon as you can.”

“I will,” you promise. The moment lingers for seconds longer, a million words and promises and declarations dying on both of your lips. You sever them all with the shutting of the car door. 

Heeseung doesn’t drive away, not until the bus arrives. And even then, you swear it’s his car you get fleeting glimpses of in the rearview mirror. 

But a handful of minutes later, Heeseung and his car are nowhere to be seen as you exit at the stop closest to New Haven. With the absence of the sun, there’s a biting chill in the air. Grateful for your jacket, you pull it a bit tighter around your body, suppressing a shudder. 

Glancing down at your phone, you send one final message before taking your last few steps towards the publishing house. 

Going in now. 

Heeseung responds in milliseconds. 

Be safe. 

Raising a fist, it feels a bit odd to knock on the same door you’ve broken into twice in the past twenty-four hours. The irony doesn’t have long to linger. Professor Kim is quick to answer the door and even quicker to usher you inside. 

Tonight, he looks every bit the well-kept professor you grew used to in your classes. With a creaseless button down tucked into dress pants, he might as well be back at the front of the lecture hall.

“Thank you,” he reiterates as he leads you down the hallway. “I appreciate you coming on such short notice.” 

“Of course,” you nod, trying to look as enthusiastic as he wants you to be. “The gravity of the situation is not lost on me. I’m excited to review your edits and get my article published as soon as possible.” 

“Right,” he nods, a bit apologetically. “You’ll have to forgive me, then, but I have something rather important to show you first.”

That makes your brow crease in confusion. Is what he’s showing you not related to your writing?

“What is it?”

Your professor just shakes his head. “I’m afraid words won’t do this justice. Follow me.” 

Beckoning you forward, he leads you to the same room you were poisoned in the first time you visited New Haven. Suppressing a shudder at the memory, you force your footsteps forward, even as your senses start to scream at you in protest. 

Pausing at the door, he turns over his shoulder to look at you. “You’ll be pleased to know that I believe I may have been wrong about Lee Heeseung.”

That sends ice spinning through your veins. You don’t like the sound of Heeseung’s name in his mouth, hate the idea that he’s been so fixated on him. “What do you mean? Wrong in what way?”

“See for yourself,” your professor grins. And then, he opens the door. 

The room is as dim as it was the last time you were here, but this time, your professor is quick to turn on the overhead light. 

But the absence of darkness only reveals a horror much worse than anything you imagined the darkness concealing.  

Because on the opposite side of the room, hunched in the corner, there is a figure illuminated under the harsh fluorescent overhead lighting. 

His system is infused with so much moonflower essence that he can hardly do so much as lift his head. But when he finally finds the strength to do so, you make direct eye contact with Park Sunghoon.  

⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖

note: Hello my loves! I am so happy to finally be able to share this with you all. I know I mentioned before that part of the reason it took so long was because of some recent changes in my life outside of tumblr, but if I'm honest, part of it too was that I was just having a really hard time continuing this story in a way that felt like it did justice to the first three parts.

There are so many moving pieces and things going on, and I really want to make this story come to life in the best way possible. Thank you for being patient with me while I agonized over that internally lol. I hope that this part was worth the wait. Love u all ♡♡♡

[junglejim4322]

“Bisexuals are greedy” is still the most bizarre sentiment ever like did people just think bisexuals were hoarding bitches and were about to leave everybody else bitchless and in some sort of bitch recession

[sapphicandgraphic]

Crash

Summary: An accident pulls you and Melissa further into each other’s orbit.

Chapter: 1/4

Melissa passed the crash on her way to school. By then, road cleanup services were removing shattered glass and twisted hunks of metal from the street. As traffic slowed and she maneuvered around the remains of the accident, she saw a bike that looked just like yours being loaded onto a tow truck. A sick feeling washed over her. She floored it the last few blocks of her commute, tires squealing as she turned into the parking lot of Abbott Elementary.

Classes hadn’t officially started back yet. Today was a designated teacher planning day at the end of winter break. Most of the staff would trickle in later, enjoying the relaxed pace of a morning with no students. But Melissa had left the house early. She wanted to grab a cup of coffee, gab with Barbara, ease into the new year. And alright, yeah, maybe she was also hoping to see you, swap a few family holiday horror stories (“trauma” as you preferred to call it), and make fun of whatever godawful healthy thing you brought in for breakfast. She didn’t usually trust school shrinks—any shrinks for that matter—but everybody knew she had a soft spot for you.

Melissa scanned the parking lot anxiously, praying to see your motorcycle tucked safely into its usual spot. You had been so protective of that stupid bike when you first got hired, she almost wrote you off as a ginzaloon gear-head. But once you realized how gah gah the kids went over it, you started parking right next to the playground—even occasionally caving to the demands of her excited second graders, revving the engine during recess as they cheered you on.

She had rolled her eyes at the time, but she didn’t mind the theatrics. She also didn’t mind the sight of your long legs straddling that leather seat. Had even indulged in a brief fantasy of what it would feel like to join you there, slipping her arms around your waist, nuzzling her face into the middle of your shoulders. That was before this morning, before she’d seen the mangled leftovers in the road. Before she decided she hated motorcycles.

Melissa locked her car and hustled into the school, past your ominously empty parking spot. As the school psychologist, you worked in a private office near the front of the building. It even had an en-suite bathroom, a fact which caught you major shit with the other faculty. Especially from Melissa, who had given you endless grief at the start of your first semester.

She pulled out her cell phone, trying not to panic as she made a beeline for your office. A dozen terrible images flashed through her mind. You crumpled on the side of the road; you being lifted into an ambulance; you lifeless on a cold slab in some distant part of the city. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes.

The redhead rounded the corner at breakneck speed in her high-heels, starting to dial your number with shaky hands. But the door to your office was slightly ajar and a dim light was spilling out into the hallway. She breathed an instant sigh of relief, calling your name as she booted her way into the room. “Jesus Christ, you almost gave me a heart attack—“

Melissa froze in her tracks. A bloody white t-shirt had been discarded on the coffee table, and your helmet sat on the little sofa beside your desk. Its visor was shattered and there were long, ugly scratches on the side. “Melissa?” Your voice sounded strange and faint from inside the bathroom.

She dropped her bags and sprang toward the door, jiggling the handle. “Open this door right now or I swear to god I’ll break it down.”

She heard the familiar huff of your laugh, cut short by a grunt of pain that made her heart clench. “Gimme a sec,” you said softly.

“Right. Now.” Patience had never been one of her virtues.

She shifted back and forth, willed herself to be calm. There was some shuffling, a few more agonizing seconds, and finally the click of the lock. Melissa pushed the door open carefully and you stepped back until your hips hit the sink.

Her hands were on you in an instant, insistent but soft, surveying the damage. You gripped the edge of the porcelain for support, blinking hard through an unpleasant wave of dizziness.

“You should see the other guy,” you said, hoping to ease the tension rolling off the other woman in waves. She ignored you, gently running her hands over your body as she made a thorough inventory of every bump, bruise, and bloody scrape. You swallowed thickly, unsure what to say. Finding yourself half-naked in front of Melissa Schemmenti had not been on this morning’s bingo card. Your heart hammered in your chest.

“I’ve been trying to put on a clean shirt for the past 10 minutes,” you explained lamely, gesturing to the oversized Abbott Elementary Field Day tee folded on the vanity. “But I’m moving a little slow.”

That was an understatement, especially now that the adrenaline was starting to wear off. The EMTs had diagnosed you with one or two cracked ribs, some gnarly abrasions, and plenty of bruising where your bike had slammed into the median. But mostly they had diagnosed you as lucky. Very, very lucky.

“What’s broken?” Her tone was clipped, still tight with fear.

“Nothing.”

She gave you a “cut-the-bullshit” look and you folded instantly.

“Maybe some cracked ribs,” you amended, trying to make this sound as breezy as possible. “It’s ok, really. It looks worse than it is.”

You sucked in a shallow breath as her fingers ghosted over the bandages on your side. Green eyes flashed up at you in outrage.

“It looks worse than it is?” she repeated softly. You shivered as she rested her hand on your hip. “Well, it looks pretty fucking bad. It looks like that tonto bike almost got you killed.”

You swallowed nervously, caught off guard by the absolute iciness of her voice. “It wasn’t my fault,” you tried to explain. “Actually, it was—“

“I don’t want to hear it!”

You flinched as she practically spat the words at you, splotches of red rising in the ivory column of her throat. Her legendary temper was something you’d seen in action plenty of times. But this went beyond angry.

“There’s no excuse for putting yourself in danger, capisce? It’s unacceptable to me!” She was shouting by now, eyes brimming, chest heaving.

You placed a tentative hand on her shoulder but she shrugged it off and turned away, pinching the bridge of her nose. This was a gesture you’d seen her make only a handful of times—during the always-tense active shooter drills and, on one frightening occasion, when they’d briefly lost track of a student during a field trip. Seeing it now, and being the cause of it, made you feel miserable.

Melissa had barreled into your life about a year ago when you first started working at Abbott. You liked her immediately. Leather pants, mischievous smirk, loud as hell. She was all rough edges and no apologies. More than anything, she was complicated. Guarded but generous, tough but tender. A dozen fiery contradictions that made your heart race.

She teased you from the first moment she laid eyes on you—for being the new kid on the block, for being a “touchy-feely” therapist, for being a millennial. Rather than making you feel ostracized, the attention lit you up. At first you’d worked your ass off just to impress her, to earn her respect. Then you saw what a dedicated teacher she was. You started seeking her out for advice about some of the more troubled kids in your care, going for drinks with her on Fridays, getting her to open up to you. By the time she realized what was happening, you’d slipped straight past her defenses.

“Sorry,” Melissa said gruffly, wiping at her eye makeup. “I shouldn’t’a yelled.”

“I’m sorry, too,” you said, shifting off the sink and limping toward her. “Why don’t you head down to the teacher’s lounge and get a cup of coffee? I can clean up here and meet you in a bit, you don’t have to deal with all this.”

She looked up at you defiantly. For the first time, she noticed a cut near your hairline. There were small butterfly stitches pinching the skin together. All the fight went out of her at once.

“You think a little blood is gonna scare off a Schemmenti?” She reached up and cupped your jawline. Tender.

“I ain’t lettin’ you out of my sight,” Melissa added with a growl. Tough.

She took a moment to drink in the full miracle of you, alive and mostly in one piece. And what a piece it was. Her gaze drifted down to your sports bra, your low-slung riding pants, the band of your boxer-briefs just visible on your waist. Melissa shook her head, withdrawing her hand.

“Need some help gettin’ dressed?”

You blinked, refocusing on her with considerable effort.

“Bet you say that to all the girls,” you said.

Again you felt a little ripple of shyness, exposed and disheveled in front of Melissa who looked good enough to eat—as always. Thick red hair cascading over her shoulders, clothes that hugged her figure in all the right places, gold necklaces with pendants of the saints cradled in the valley of her creamy cleavage. She smirked, unfolding the fresh t-shirt and giving you an appreciative once-over.

“You been working out?” she asked.

You chuckled. “Glad someone finally noticed.”

Melissa pursed her full lips and tilted her head to the side. “Not bad.”

You knew this was just a game to her. She was a flirt by nature and she loved to make you squirm, make you blush. Still, your stomach twisted pleasantly at the compliment.

“Don’t get me wrong,” she continued, noting your obviously pleased expression. “It’s a little dramatic as far as cries for attention go.”

“What do you mean?” you asked as Melissa guided your head carefully through the neck of the shirt, tucking a few flyaway strands of hair back into place. You shivered at the featherlight feel of her fingertips around the shell of your ear.

“Playin’ evil knievel,” she clarified. “Just for an excuse to take your top off in front of me.”

“Look who’s talking!” you fired back. “For all I know, you hired that guy to run me off the road so you could get me alone in a state of undress.”

Melissa, who had been grinning at you from under her long eyelashes and fussing with the hem of your shirt, stilled. The smile slid off her face.

“What’d ya say?”

You frowned, backpedaling. “Sorry, bad joke—“

“No, not that part.” She waved her hand, gold bangles clattering. “The part about someone ran ya off the road? On purpose?”

You nodded your head.

Her voice dipped back into a decidedly frosty register. “And you’re just now tellin’ me this?”

“Well, I tried to mention it a second ago but then there was all the yelling,” you explained. “And you know how I feel about yelling.”

Melissa rolled her eyes. “You feel that it ain’t productive,” she said, applying heavy air quotes around the last word.

“But I appreciate that it’s a cultural norm in many families,” you said. “I know Italian-American households—“

“Jesus fucking Christ!” she exploded. “Someone tried to fucking kill you! Do you appreciate that?”

You winced at the volume of the outburst, headache lurking in the base of your skull. “Yeah, I reported it to the cops who came to the scene, okay? They’re looking for the guy.“

Melissa placed a red lacquered fingernail under your chin.

“You’re never riding that death trap again, you hear me, kid?”

Her green eyes, challenging and possessive, bored into yours. You wondered what would happen if you defied her, told her no, refused outright. The only problem was…you so desperately wanted to give her exactly what she wanted. Not just today, but every day. Trying to please Melissa Schemmenti had become a kind of obsession, a thrill you chased at your own risk.

“Well you don’t have to worry,” you said, mouth suddenly dry. “The bike is totaled.”

She gripped your chin, intent on eliciting a promise. “I mean it.”

A shiver went through you at her low, commanding tone.

“Ok, ok,” you relented. “I’ll be a good girl, mommy.”

It was supposed to be a joke but the words came out as a desperate whine. You felt a flush of color rising in your cheeks as Melissa quirked an eyebrow at you—half scandalized, half delighted. Just as she opened her mouth to say something, the intercom crackled to life. The sudden noise made you both spring apart.

“All faculty please report to the assembly hall in 15 minutes.”

You hissed at the sudden movement, curling over slightly. Melissa’s hands shot out to steady you.

“You alright?” she asked. All traces of teasing laughter had vanished from her face. “What am I, an idiota? Of course you’re not alright. I should drive ya home!”

“No,” you said, waving the suggestion off wearily. “I don’t wanna be by myself all day. I’ll go crazy.”

“Look at youse,” she argued, concern clouding her eyes. “You can barely stand upright. Your helmet looks like it was in a blender, for chrissakes. You came this close to…to—“

She made a small choked noise, unable to finish the sentence. Her hand flew up to her mouth and she squeezed her eyes shut, clearly trying to block out some unwanted mental image. You intertwined your fingers with hers carefully, sweetly, and brought her hand away from her face.

“Nothing happened,” you said evenly. “I’m fine. You’re fine. We’re fine.”

“Don’t use your therapy voice on me,” she warned, dabbing at her eyes again. She looked down at your hands loosely joined together and brushed a finger over the back of your knuckles. When she spoke she sounded uncertain, none of her usual cocksure confidence.

“You swear you’re alright to stay for the day? You won’t…make yourself worse?”

“I’m fine,” you repeated. “Just hurts when I��”

“Move? Breathe? Blink?” she guessed, tone sarcastic once more. “Am I gettin’ warmer?”

You winked. “You’re red hot.”

A small smile lifted the corners of her mouth. “And don’t you forget it, baby.”

Melissa considered you for a moment. She didn’t like the way the skin around your eyes was pinched, or the protective way you held yourself. But she also didn’t like the idea of you being on your own all day. Better to keep you close.

“Alright, alright,” she said. “You can stay, but on one condition—you don’t overdo it.”

You rolled your eyes. “We work in an elementary school, not the ThunderDome.”

“No jokes,” she insisted. “I mean it, say you swear.”

It was a rare display of vulnerability from Melissa, who walked through life making demands rather than requests. You schooled your face into a serious expression. Looping your little finger around hers, you brought your fist to your mouth.

“I pinky promise,” you said. “Seal it with a kiss?”

Her eyes flickered down to your lips and lingered for a fraction of a second too long. Even a year into this dangerous dance with Melissa, you weren’t quite sure where the line was, or what would happen if (when?) you found it, crossed it.

“Millennials,” she said, but her voice was husky. “What’s next, gonna ask me to join your polycule?”

Slowly, you both leaned in. You were close enough to smell her shampoo and the bright citrusy lotion she used on her face. It made you swoon. Her eyes closed as you both planted chaste kisses on your fists, faces only inches apart.

The tacky sound of Melissa’s lip gloss making contact with the inside of her own hand sent an unexpected jolt of arousal right to the pit of your stomach. Suddenly, you found yourself lost in a little fantasy, wondering what it would be like to pull her close, to drag your fingers through her hair, to feel the inside of her soft mouth with your tongue. A familiar and ferocious longing—one that you worked very hard to neutralize during working hours—seized you, painful and roaring and undeniable. A longing for more of Melissa, for whatever she would give you.

The other woman cleared her throat suddenly, breaking the spell.

“You ready, hon?” She was gazing at you cautiously, like you might break apart. You shook your head, hoping you didn’t look as strung out as you felt.

“Sorry,” you said. “Let’s head down to the auditorium.”

She smirked, looping an arm around your waist and helping you out of the bathroom. “I’ll say this for ya,” she said, flicking the lights out and closing the door behind her. “You sure know how to start the new year with a bang.”

Chapter 2

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

Jan 14th

~*~

1. Itmf fics where Jin Guangyao is good? Very broad topic, lol, but yeah. Fics where he doesn't murder or backstab, fics where he actually is helpful and smart and a good uncle to Jin Ling. Thank you!

walk away from the sun by KouriArashi (M, 107k, LXC/JGY, LXC & LWJ, WangXian, LWJ & JGY, LXC & NMJ, Canon Divergence, Angst, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Developing Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Politics, supportive brothers, supportive husbands, Canon-Typical Violence, Lan Family Feels, Everybody Lives, Eventual Happy Ending)

The Edge of Night by Hobbsy3 (M, 277k, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, Zombie Apocalypse, Yúnmèng Siblings Dynamics, Accidental Baby Acquisition During a Zombie Apocalypse, Junior Quartet, (except they’re all babies), Angst with a Happy Ending, Minor Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Gore, Ensemble Cast, Worst Zombie Fighting Team Ever, Found Family) translations available in multiple languages

❤️ And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 138k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together, And Time is But a Paper Moon [PODFIC] by sami, Winterstar1412, [Podfic] Cold read of And Time Is But A Paper Moon by kisahawklin, multiple translations available) multiple podfics and translations into multiple languages available

somewhere to belong by KouriArashi (T, 62k, 3zun, JGY & NHS, WangXian, JGY & WWX, Canon Divergence, Friendship, Developing Relationship, Families of Choice, Class Issues, Bullying, Light Angst, Politics, Eventual Plot, Happy Ending)

~*~

2. Hi, Itmf fic where instead of characters watching the truth abouth yllz, the whole jianghu is watching uncensored truth about most of cultivators: like assault and imprisonment of lwj mother, rapes by jgs, resentment in nie etc.

Wondered if there is something like this. Thank you!

Song of Joy and Regrets by HelloKitten (Not Rated, 134k, WIP, WangXian, Angst, Self-Harm, Child Abuse, Time Travel Fix-it)

💖 The Path by Seastar98 (Not Rated, 279k, WangXian, CQL Verse, Golden core reveal, Fix-it of sorts, Angst with a happy ending) Song of Joy and Regrets and The Path feature people learning about atrocities committed by other cultivators in addition to facts about Wei Ying's life.

~*~

3. For the next ITMF: fics where WWX suffers chronic pain as a result of the core surgery and/or injuries that never quite healed. (Nothing where resentful energy is the main problem, because it wasn't really.) Modern AUs with some other illness/disability are okay too. Bonus points if he tries to hide it, because ofc he will if he can. Extra bonus points if it includes or is entirely from someone else's POV. Thank you! 🖤🐇 @linderel

How to Treat Your Injured Yiling Laozu by merakily (T, 3k, WangXian, Chronic Pain, Whump, Love Confessions, Literal Sleeping Together, Burial Mounds, Golden Core Reveal, LWJ has a lot of feelings about WWX being in pain, Hurt WWX)

Aftermath by KouriArashi (T, 57k, XuanLi, WangXian, XiYao, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Everybody Lives, Romance, Developing Relationship, Family, Sibling Bonding, Light Angst, Politics, Attempted Sexual Assault) Jiang Yanli notices Wei Ying has chronic pain following his core removal surgery in Aftermath

🔒💙 Holding shreds by barisan (T, 5k, WangXian, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, No Sunshot Campaign, Body Swap, Not for sexy shenanigans, Chronic Pain, Hurt WWX, Hurt LWJ, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abusive YZY, Bad Parent YZY, Bad Parent JFM, Good Uncle LQR, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Inaccuracies, POV WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jiāng Family Bashing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Getting Together, Smart WWX)

The Core Issue by Hauntcats (T, 21k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence)

🔒 the thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break by RoseThorne (E, 105k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, Self-Esteem Issues, Fix-It, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, PTSD, Handfasting, Panic Attacks, Getting Together, First Time, Aftercare, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, /Referenced Torture, Scars, Chronic Pain, Golden Core Reveal, First Time, Switching, sex-related injury, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, LSZ is a Wèi, Good Sibling JC, Dissociation, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Disability, Scheming NHS, Disabled Character)

Ornaments Under the Stars by trippednfell (M, 62k, WangXian, WIP, Modern, Inspired by Hallmark Christmas Movies, the wangxian Hallmark Movie AU no one asked for, plot and title were randomly generated, Kidfic, Disabled Character, debilitating injury as substitute for missing golden core, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note, Angst with a Happy Ending, Guest starring Lan Zhan’s sky blue coat, The Coat deserves its own tag, disordered eating habits - not a major plot point) wy has to use a cane because if a leg injury

~*~

4. Are there any wei Wuxian havin hanahaki Disease for Lan wangji @yuukikonnos-world

Regret Blossoms by piecrust (G, 7k, WangXian, Hanahaki Disease) Wangxian are in mutual hanahaki

not in so many words by jaws_3 (T, 18k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, offshoot of a hanahaki au, somehow without the angst, but WITH the body horror warning that comes with coughing up flowers, Fluff, Getting Together, Mutual Pining)

Slowly Growing On Me by Latios (T, 9k, WangXian, Hanahaki Disease, Allergies, Flowers, Hanahaki AU, LWJ has allergies, Angst with a Happy Ending)

This Lantern Shines For You by apollonie (M, 10k, WangXian, Hanahaki Disease, Angst with a Happy Ending, Post-Canon, Pining WWX, WWX Needs a Hug, LWJ is a Disaster Gay)

Blooming You a Garden Inside Me by xxxMiaHikarixxx (G, 93k, WIP, WangXian, Hanahaki Disease, Angst, Happy Ending, Pain, Canon Divergence, Fix-It of Sorts, Good Sibling JC, One-Sided WWX/WN, POV Multiple, JC and WWX Talk About Feelings, JZX & WWX Friendship, Good Sibling LXC, Eventual ChengQing, Protective LWJ, Dark LWJ, Protective JC, Protective NHS, Scheming NHS, BAMF LWJ)

bloody flowers i made for you. by anxiouswreck0_0 (T, 3k, WangXian, Hanahaki Disease, Angst, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending)

~*~

5. i was wondering if someone had written a what if wei wuxians parents lived au ? ive seen some fics where he gets taken in by a sect other than the Jiang but what if his parents lived is so interesting to me yk? happy new year btw 🐍🐍🐍 hope its a good year for yall !!

Building a home by R95irth (T, 586k, WCZ/CS, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-it, Angst with a happy ending, Family fluff)

We Meet at the Thousandth Step by Admiranda, Rynne (T, 316k, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, CSSR & WCZ Live, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Different First Meeting, Night Hunts, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Plot, Romance, Drama, Fluff, Strangers to married, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Everyone Lives, Developing Relationship, Minor Violence, Case Fic, Mystery, Flirting, WWX’s Canon-Typical Flower Flirting, Arson, There Was Only One Bed, Getting Together, First Kiss, Meeting the Parents, Resolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, WWX Is a Good Big Brother, New Relationship Bliss, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Blood and Injury, Yiling siblings, Married WangXian, Honeymoon, Wangxian’s Baby Fever)

🔒Wújī by FairyTaleDreams (M, 55k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, WCZ & CSSR Lives, Rouge cultivator WWX)

marital customs by shijieswife (M, 2k, WIP, CSSR/WCZ, WangXian, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, CSSR and WCZ Live Meeting the Parents, Protective Parents, Happy Ending, (they get married !!!), Implied Sexual Content)

🧡 Resplendence by FrozenMarVel ( E, 187k, WIP, WangXian, CS Lives, Rouge cultivator WWX, Crossdressing, Canon Divergence, Fix-It of sorts, Fluff, Explicit smut) Wei Ying grows up just with his mom in Resplendence

Cartwheels In Cloud Recesses Series by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 23k, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, CSSR and WCZ Live, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans)

🔒 the world wags on by justdoityoufucker (orphan_account) (T, 5k, WCZ & WWX, WCZ & LQR, LQR/WCZ, Canon Divergence, Pre-Canon, Not Everyone Dies AU, Not Jiang Clan Friendly, Past Child Abuse, Canon Jiang Family Relationships, Parent-Child Relationship, Pre-Relationship, Not for Madam Yu fans) wcz lives

The Wei of family by HikariNoHimeWriter (E, 46k, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, CSSR and WCZ Live, Rogue Cultivator WWX, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Male omega with vagina, Vaginal Fingering, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Vaginal Sex, First Time, Falling In Love, some violence, Genius WWX, WWX Has ADHD, CSSR Has ADHD, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Eventual Smut, Love Confessions, Mating Bond, WangXian Elope, Kinda, Not JC Friendly, not yzy friendly, Mpreg, Crossdressing)

~*~

6. I'm in the mood for a fic in which A) Wei Ying accidentally kills or hurts Lan Zhan, and then he realizes he's lost the one he loves. There's endless pining and yearning for him, but somehow, Lan Wangji comes back to life in the end, and they have a happy ending. Any type of fic is fine—lengthy or short, it doesn't matter—but no modern AU, please.

B) Sorry, I have another request too: a fic where Wei Ying isn't oblivious to Lan Wangji's one-sided love, set in the CQL verse with a happy ending :) @vintagesoul999

6A)

If I Could Go Back in Time by Runningbarefoot (M, 122k, WangXian, NieLan, Canon Divergence, Role Reversal, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning, YL WWX, Eventual Happy Ending, The Twin Jade Brotherhood, Hurt/Comfort, Character Study, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Slow Burn) but I didn't read it whole, but so far it fits

6B)

30 Days of Secret Marriage at Cloud Recesses by starandrea (T, 43k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Bunnies, Gusu Lan Forehead Ribbon, Accidental Marriage, Coming Out, Falling In Love, supportive family, Fluff, Happy Ending, the whole story is happy)

it’s just (aah) a little crush (crush!) by sweetlolixo (T, 9k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Romance, Fluff, Pining LWJ, Humor, Courting Rituals, Teen Wangxian)

Just Say Yes Series by edenwolfie (T/M, 338k, WangXian, Matchmaking, Pining, Getting Together, Canon Divergence, POV Alternating, Fluff, First Kiss, Declarations Of Love, Humor, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Good Uncle LQR, Engagement, Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It)

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7. I just sent a ff for a specific fic about this but I was wondering if there's any other fics with the premise of LWJ drinks tea like it's alcohol? Like, WWX knows when LWJ is annoyed because he just starts drinking cup after cup of tea or eating something specific. Just fics where LWJ has a tell for when he's angry/annoyed/overwhelmed or something if that makes sense? thank you 🌈

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8. Hello!! Im looking for a fic rec similar to At heart by apathyinreverie, its such a great read that has left me wanting for more of wwx happily atticwifing himself

🔒🧡Company by WithBroomBefore (T, 29k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Pre-Relationship, Getting Together, POV LWJ, Fix-It, Pre-Canon, at least to start, WWX goes to Cloud Recesses, But Not In The Usual Way, fear of character death, Everybody Lives, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Light Angst, good teacher LQR, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, brief discussion of past minor character suicide, Kitten, Not YZY Friendly)

🔒Bright Voice Roughly Rendered Softly Silent by Preludian_Staves (T, 26k, WangXian, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, No Golden Core Transfer, Muteness, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Not JC Friendly, Confessions, Angst, Choking, Red String of Fate, Appearances by Paperman!WWX, Inventor WWX, Good Uncle LQR, WWX goes to Cloud Recesses, Feelings Realization, Caretaking, Supportive Lan Family, Genius WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Protective LWJ, Protective Lan Family, Character Death (not wwx or lwj))

Lay my body down by tawaen (M, 48k, WWX & WQ, WWX & WN, wangxian, WWX & JYL, Canon Divergence, Time Travel, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Eventual WangXian, No Golden Core Transfer, Not Cultivation World Friendly, Canon-Typical Violence, Not JC Friendly, What if WWX saw the first siege of the burial mounds and said Nope to the war, OCs, OC point-of-view for one chapter for plot reasons)

~*~

9. hi!! this is for the itmf — recently read a small threadfic/hc where wwx was a heavenly demon but supressed in some kind (and also the grandsom of tianlang jun) and i was wondering there werw any canon-era fics where wwx was a demon of some kind, or related to luo binghe, or anything. thanks !

It's Not The Destination (But The People You Save Along The Way) by Arcxus (T, 65k, WIP, WangXian, Fix-It of Sorts, character death is WWX, MXY Lives, God of Death!WWX, WWX is a Little Shit, Mutual Pining, Demon WWX, LWJ humour agenda, Angst, For Want of a Nail, BAMF WWX, Sentient Burial Mounds, Twin Prides of Yunmeng Feels, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, Worldbuilding, Politics, WWX is Good With Children, WWX is a Jiang)

ghosts do not speak of lies and truth by LunaChi_KuroShihone (T, 6k, WangXian, Burial Mounds, Canonical Character Death, Body Horror, Horror, Ghosts, Character Undeath, demon!WWX, Mild Gore, junior trio plus zizhen make an appearance, YLLZ WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Gentle Kissing, Supportive LWJ, Hurt WWX, WWX-centric, Sad WWX, Soft WangXian, Implied Cannibalism)

Hello, Neighbor!!! by Dragon_Scribe (M, 69k, WangXian, LBH/SQQ, MbJ/SQH, Canon Divergence, Demon wwx, Crossover, Found Family, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dimension Travel?, Mystery, Mind Control, Love Confessions, Self-Indulgent) might also work but Wei Ying gets "adopted" by Luo Binghe after being thrown into the Burial Mounds.

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10. Hi lovelies! My first ITMF of 2025 is the trope as old as time - confessions made during a heated argument (extra points for the confessor completely petrified by what they let slip). Wangxian, preferably a one-shot but I'm not picky!

Regrets by antebunny (G, 38k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Canon Divergence, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Time Travel Fix-It, Temporary Character Death, Explicit Descriptions of Love, and other squishy feelings, Angst with a Happy Ending)

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11. Are there any Wangxian fics where Wei Wuxian is in the burial mounds with the Wen remnants and Lan Shah visits him and they get some relationship development but they have an argument about demonic cultivation and then its just so intense they just start kissing and other stuff (plot stuff can happen too, thats just one of the things I want to see😅) If there are, please let me know, please and thank you and have a nice day or night😁 @yasssbassss

Propagate Understanding by draechaeli (E, 175k, WangXian, Not Everyone Dies, Pregnancy Kink, Consensual Non-Consent, Light Bondage, Adoption, Adoption but WWX birthed them all, MXY Lives, MXY has an arc, Original Children Characters, Babies for Everyone, Crossdressing, Temporary Character Death, easy to skip nsfw chapters, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Canon Divergence)

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12. Hi! I'm wondering if you have any fic recs where Lan Zhan was born first, instead of Lan Xichen? I'm in the mood to read about how that may have impacted the story if such a thing exists. Thank you!!

Strong enough to carry him- he ain't heavy, he's my brother. by Starlitverses (Not Rated, 5k, WIP, LXC & LWJ, WangXian, LWJ & NMJ, LXC & NHS & NMJ, Twin Jades of Lan Dynamics, Brotherly Love, LXC Deserves Happiness, Protective LWJ, Age Swap, First jade LWJ, Second Jade LXC, Sect Leader LWJ, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt LWJ, Hurt LXC, LXC & WWX Friendship, Protective Older Brothers, NMJ & LWJ bonding over their little brothers, WangXian learn actual communication, Meddling LXC, you thought older brother LXC was scary? LWJ is worse, Older LWJ, Older WWX, everyone loves and wants to protect LXC, LXC-centric, LWJ will destroy anyone that hurts his brother)

~*~

13. Hello! First time using this, not a specific wangxian fic, but do you have any where the cultivation world assumes wei ying gave birth to A-Yuan? Thank you and ur finders in advance! @knight-cross

Taking Responsibility by deliciousblizzardshark (T, 6k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Getting Together, Trope Subversion/Inversion, Pretend mpreg, Accidental Baby Acquisition, lots of accidental baby acquisition, all of the accidental babies are acquired, Let LWJ have babies, Fluff and Crack)

Wei Wuxian, God of Fertility by tired (T, 19k, WangXian, Family Feels, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack, the juniors get REAL drunk, Gossip, POV Multiple, surprisingly not an mpreg fic, Kissing, Self-Esteem Issues, Discussion of Porn and Sex, Post-Canon, SOFT SOFT SOFT, married wangxian, Fluff and Humor)

🔒 Serendipity b yluckymoonly (T, 6k, WangXian, LSZ/LJY, Post-Canon, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Family Feels, The Juniors and their lack of knowledge of where babies actually come from, Fluff, First time parenting a baby, Mentions of WWX's canon mpreg kink, Adoption, WWX and NHS are BFF, Happy Ending)

chapters 44 and 45 of 🧡 Dispersing Clouds by dreamingofcake (E, 283k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Abusive YZY, Canonical Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (Background Character), Background Character Deaths, child deaths, Canon JC, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cultivation Sect Politics, Homophobia, Heteronormativity, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Oblivious)

~*~

14. Hi! For the next itmf I’d like to see some dumbass Wei Wuxian! Like don’t get me wrong, I love clever WWX as much as the next person but I’d like to read a fic (crack preferably) where’s he’s just a straight up dumbass, an idiot sandwich

Thank youuuu✨✨

diamonds are wei wuxian’s worst enemy by thefaceofno (T, 5k, WangXian, Modern AU, Miscommunication, Angst with a happy ending)

every time we kiss i swear i could fly by sarahyyy (T, 2k, WangXian, Modern, College/University, Kissing Booths, Misunderstandings, Getting Together, First Kiss, Love Confessions)

🔒 The Swan and the Dumbass by ElDiablito_SF (E, 16k, WangXian, Humor, Crack, Fairy Tale, But also Angst and Tragedy, But not too much tragedy, and it's followed by an entire sexpilogue so you know, tw: angry swans, WWX is a pushy bottom, LJW is a consummate service top, Swan Lake Fusion, Explicit Sexual Content)

a life in your shape by occultings (microcomets) (T, 8k, WangXian, WQ/MM, Modern, College/University, Misunderstandings, Confessions, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, almost 9k of dramatic irony, [PODFIC] a life in your shape by occultings by mistynrisky)

Wild in the Streets by danegen (E, 11k, WangXian, WIP, Modern with Magic, POV LWJ, Switching, Vampires, Set in America, So many pop culture references, Mama Lan and Mama Wei are alive because I say so, no jiangs, Vampire WWX, Supernatural LWJ) I'm not sure if this is your flavor of idiot wei ying😅

come rest your bones next to me by tired (T, 39k, wangxian, hogwarts au, mistaken identity, comedy of errors, magic, animagus, awkward flirting, shenigans, quidditch, injuries, happy ending, getting together)

~*~

15. hello!! hope you are having a wonderful day :) For the next ITMF, are there any good zombie apocalypse fics? sort of like The Edge of Night

❤️ A Corpse Called By Name by jaemyun (Not rated, 60k, wangxian, angst w/ happy ending, zombie apocalypse, zombie WWX, yunmeng trio, A Corpse Called By Name by jaemyun [Podfic] (WIP) by Miss Appellation (Lizeth))

Darkness Before the Dawn by Selenay (E, 64k, WangXian, Zombie Apocalypse, Modern: Still Have Powers, Necromancer WWX, Reunions, toddler A-Yuan, There Was Only One Bed, There are zombies but not graphically horrific zombies, Angst with a Happy Ending, Find a home in the middle of an apocalypse)

🔒 when the sun goes out by travelingneuritis (E, 176k, WangXian, Modern Cultivation, tech cultivation, Necromancy, Angst with a Happy Ending, insecurity around adoption, Dad!WWX, dad!lwj, Grief/Mourning, Mistaken Identity, Mood Whiplash, Body Swap, sex tears!, Falling In Love, Consensual Somnophilia, apocalypse (localized), Smut, unrealistic sexual stamina, Flashbacks, Time Skips, Illustrations)

~*~

16. hiii i recently discovered my undying love for JZX and would like more fics which are centered around him

🧡 Song by WithBroomBefore (T, 41k, Platonic Soulbond, Hurt/comfort, Canon Divergence, No golden core transfer, JC&JZX stay in Xuanwu cave, Fix-it, Temporary character death, [PODFIC] Song by Gwogobo) Jin Zixuan isn't the focus of Song but he plays a major role in it.

Jin Zixuan Does the Time Warp by marigold_sigil (G, 7k, XuanLi, Time Travel, Fix-It, Crack Treated Seriously, Awkward JZX, Good Person JZX, Temporary Character Death, Everybody Lives, JZX & WWX Friendship, Good Sibling JZX, JZX makes friends, Bad Humor, JZ Bashing, JGS Bashing, Qíshān Wēn Sect Bashing, Sect Leader JZX, POV JZX, Canon Relationships, JGY Redemption)

ask until your heart gets it right by Stratisphyre (G, 6k, XuanLi, Implied XiYao, Background WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fluff and Humor, Unreliable Narrator JZX, Minor surprise pairing at the end, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies)

giant mancala by astrolesbian (T, 1k, JC & WWX & JZX, XuanLi, WangXian, JZX POV, Drinking, Bonding)

🔒The Emperor's New Clothes by bonyenne (G, 556, JC & JZX, XuanLi, Modern AU, College/University, Humor, JZX is a good boyfriend, JC is So Done, JZX Tries)

🔒The Throats of Our Wrists Brave Lilies by greyskais (M, 85k, WIP, XuanLi, Canon Divergence, Sunshot Campaign, Male-Female Friendship, Espionage, BAMF JYL, JYL has an Ace Up Her Sleeve, Give MY Friends Agenda, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Injury, Assassination Attempt(s), Family Secrets, JC Needs a Hug, Everyone Needs A Hug) The archive just went down so I can't check if this is more JYL or JZX focused, but it's definitely about the two of them working together and was very highly rec'd to me

❤️🔒 Candy & Conspiracies by Reverie (cl410) (T, 16k, WangXian, JZX & WWX, Jīn Sect WWX, Chaos Gremlin WWX, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Cloud Recesses, Found Family, pure idiocy, And some light murder, the chaotic jin trio we could have had, good madam jin, No Angst, Canon Divergence)

watch what we’ll become by glitteringmoonlight (T, 60k, JZX & WWX, WangXian, Background JZX/JYL, WWX & JZX are married but completely platonically, featuring my let WWX and JZX be bros agenda, slow burn? is it even a slow burn if they confess but can’t be together for Reasons?, Canon Divergence, Fix-It of Sorts, Angst with a Happy Ending, you’ve heard of enemies to friends to lovers, now get ready for enemies to reluctant husbands to begrudging best friends)

🔒 long bygone burdens by humancorn (T, 17k, JYL/JZX, JZX & WWX, Time Travel Fix-It, Time Travelling JZX, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, JZX-centric, JZX Tries, JZX & WWX Friendship, Wife Guy JZX, He’s doing his best ok, Canon Divergence, mentions of corporal punishment)

If It's Me You Need To Turn To, We'll Get By by little-smartass (Linxcat) (G, 19k, JYL/JZX, JZX & JGY, JYL & JGY, Canon Divergence, Mentions of Canonical Abuse, discussions of post-partum depression/similar mental health struggles, JZX loves his wife so much you guys, Hurt/Comfort, Hopeful Ending, sickfic that accidentally saves canon, the 3zun relationships are in the second chapter and are minor)

Marital Prospects by Vamillepudding (G, 18k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Everybody Lives, Romantic Comedy, Misunderstandings, LWJ Needs a Hug)

Fowl Play by Alwritey87 (G, 2k, JYL/JZX, JZX & WWX, JC & JZX, JZX & JL & JYL, JC & JL, Everyone Lives, JYL & JZX Live, Awkward JZX, JZX & WWX Friendship, Good Person JZX, JZX Tries, Married JYL/JZX, JL Loves JC, JZX & WWX recreate the scene from the titanic but on a sword, JL & WWX Bonding, WWX makes it to JL 100th day celebration, Happy Ending, JZX's happy family, Ducks save the day, JZX loves his wife)

The Unbearable Pain of Being Seen series by meyari (T, 9k, WangXian, Pre-Relationship, Slice of Life, slice of war, PTSD, Canon Compliant, Sunshot Campaign, the unbearable reality of seeing someone in pain, the unbearable pain of being seen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Grooming, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jin Murder Baby Patrol, Warning: JGS, Not Canon Compliant, Off-screen Rape, Off-Screen Murder, Fluff and Crack, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Murder, Murder Mystery, surprise acceptance)

Brittle Steel Slicing Through by meyari (T, 19k, JYL/JZX, WangXian, Major Character Death, Sunshot Campaign, War, aftermath of war, PTSD, Warning: Jin Guangshan, fuck that guy, murder as a method of problem solving, murder as a flirtation method, learning to communicate for idiots, Time Travel Fix-It, Jin Murder-Babies FTW, Fluff and Crack)

~*~

17. Hii, I hope you're haveing a good day until now!! For the next ITMF, I was wondering if there are any murder mystery( mystery solving in general), case fics and all that shebang but the characters are in highschool! Just has the vibe of the show School Spirits, actually.

(sorry if this is too specific 😭)

🔒 Grandmaster of Demonic Party Games by Trickster_Angel (M, 51k, WangXian, Occult, Ouija, Modern, College, WWX's into the occult and drags his friends along, Paranormal, Fun, Humor, Horror, Sharing a Bed, Pizza, The way to a college student's heart is through food, Slow Burn, Mild Sexual Content, Oblivious, WWn is a moron, Crack, Misunderstandings, Jealousy, Serious Treated Crack, Light Angst, Secrets, some darker elements, Mutual Pining, Emotional Constipation, Morons both of them)

~*~

18. ITMF some good JYL/JZX centric fics ^^

All you need is Love (and 15 years (and MianMian)) by Scrippio (T, 7k, JYL/JZX, JZX & MM & JYL, Modern, school au, (some of it), Fluff, Getting Together)

ask until your heart gets it right by Stratisphyre (G, 6k, XuanLi, Implied XiYao, Background WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fluff and Humor, Unreliable Narrator JZX, Minor surprise pairing at the end, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies)

from the top, this time with personality by thunderwear (G, 17k, JYL/JZX, WangXian, WIP, Time Travel Fix-It, cloud recesses days, JYL stands up for herself, Canon Divergence, Family Feels, love in its many forms)

🔒The Throats of Our Wrists Brave Lilies by greyskais (M, 85k, WIP, XuanLi, Canon Divergence, Sunshot Campaign, Male-Female Friendship, Espionage, BAMF JYL, JYL has an Ace Up Her Sleeve, Give MY Friends Agenda, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Injury, Assassination Attempt(s), Family Secrets, JC Needs a Hug, Everyone Needs A Hug) (link in #16)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[listofwhyyouloveher]

Greasers with a crush that's super laid back and honestly never bothered but surprisingly can kick ass? Like full on martial arts acrobatics kicking ass. And it's just like the last thing you'd ever expect from them.

Summary: The gang with a badass!reader

Warnings: none

Author's Note: none

PONYBOY has had a crush on you since 3rd grade when you knocked a boy's front teeth out during recess because he tried to look up your skirt. He's always got kind of giggly and happy whenever you were around or being talked about. If there's ever a fight in school he'll only watch it if its you. He loves your carefree, relaxed personality, he thinks it makes it even more chilling when you kick ass.

JOHNNY doesn't like to get involved with people who fight, and everything he's heard about you had been about how you rocked someone last night for screwing you over. It made a pretty bad impression on him to be honest He always tried to steer away from you, but he saw some socs following you and tried to warn you. He was blown away by your fighting, it was almost like a movie. Johnny's totally into how you're so relaxed, trying to avoid fighting but still kicking ass.

SODAPOP loves watching fights, but he says "watching chicks fight" made him feel immoral. That's why he's never heard about you and your ever stretching reputation. He only met you when you helped him ward off some socs. It was almost as if you merely looked their way and they were gone. He was shocked and totally infatuated. He made it known by talking about you in the same giggly voice that Ponyboy would use.

STEVE met you at Buck's. You were sipping on straight alcohol as if it was juice. He was immediately interested but kept his distance. Until, some girl came up to you looking for a fight and you clocked her in a simple sentence. He laughed so loud that you gave him a quizzical look. He takes you out on several dates but he's still and will forever be in love with you personality.

TWO BIT knows all about you, he is just one of those guys who knows everybody. He originally met you at a party. You instantly hit it off and you two had such fun and friendly banter that he always smiles when he thinks of those interactions. He's always trying to take you places you might like, a show, a party whatever. As much as he loves watching your almost show like fighting moves, he really doesn't like the fact that you actually fight, he sees it as something that can only catch up to you in a bad way.

DARRY also doesn't really appreciate you getting in fights, but he still has a big crush on you. If he sees you after or walking home from a fight he'll get all fussy and take care of you with first-aid and drive you home. He loves your laidback personality, how you can still laugh but you also have a stern personality too which he thinks would be a perfect personality to be around Pony and Soda.

DALLAS thinks you're such a badass. He's secretly such a fan girl of you. He tries to get into every party that you go to, just so he can see you. Dally knows that dating you can skyrocket his reputation, but he feels a little odd trying to date you, it feels like he's got a crush on a popular celebrity he'll never achieve. This actually makes him a little insecure, he used to think he could get every girl he wanted some way or another, but now you kind of killed his ego.

[sabsturned]

M. Sturniolo - Three Doors Down

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pairing: matt x fem!reader

contains: angst, mentions of a drinking and smoking parent, crying

summary: you and matt used to be best friends. you were closer to him than anyone else you know, and you’ve always secretly had a crush on him. the day you told him, you guys stopped talking. tonight was prom night, and you had no guys or even friends to go with. all you could do was sit in the corner and watch him dance with his girlfriend, sofia.

a/n: first fic!!! i’m rlly excited about this one. it’s based off of the song ‘three doors down’ by joy. this was my shit in 2022 and i don’t get why it wasn’t talked about more. ALSO I HAVE A QUESTION: what are anons??? also please leave requests for fics!! i’m literally out of ideas. THATS IT!! enjoy the fic :))

key: matt y/n sofia

and i’m in the corner

dying of boredom

catching light from the shine

of his girlfriend’s tiara

me and matt were best friends. me and the boy three doors down. i mean, the best word to describe us was inseparable. we hung out all the time—at school, at home, over the weekends, at parties—everywhere i went, he went, and everywhere he went, i went.

it started when we were both eight years old. i was trying to avoid my mom at all costs because when she drank, she got mean. i went outside, picking all the small white flowers out of the ground. maybe if i gave my mom flowers, she would cheer up, and she wouldn’t hurt me. at least that’s what i thought.

i picked a yellow dandelion, adding it to my bouquet of flowers when i saw a boy around my age riding on a skateboard. he was riding it on circles in his driveway. suddenly the only thing my eyes were looking at was his curly brunette hair. his eyes were a beautiful color of blue. not as deep as an ocean, but not as light as the sky. all i knew was that they were perfect and they consumed me. his cheeks were a shade of red, probably because of the humidity. i’ll never forget the way he looked at me for the first time; the way his eyes lit up, the way his smile widened, showing off the dimple on his left cheek, the way the world around us faded.

his hand slowly moved up, waving at me. my smile grew. i waved back.

whenever my mom started drinking, i just went outside, where he was every afternoon on his skateboard. he tried teaching me to ride it, but i wasn’t very good. we played in his backyard with his brothers and their dog, trevor. sometimes they brought out their sprinkler on a really hot day, and we all just played like kids. i would give anything to be a kid with them again.

when we were in the same homeroom for third grade, we were both ecstatic. we were always partners in group work, always played together at recess, always ate together at lunch. everybody always made fun of us, and assumed we were dating or something. but we didn’t care.

everything was perfect. up until eighth grade. ever since me and matt met, i’ve always kind of liked him. i never really had the courage to tell him, up until the day before our eighth grade dance.

i confessed my feelings for him. i didn’t say much really. i just told him i liked him and asked if he wanted to go on a date. but i don’t think he felt the same.

he said he was busy.

all contact was cut after that. no more late night calls, no more weekend sleepovers, no more study sessions after school.

and it’s all my fault. i ruined everything. if i wouldn’t have said all of that, we wouldn’t have been here. we would have still been friends. we would have gone to prom together. we would have been falling asleep on call together. we would have still been as inseparable as we were when we were kids.

all of this was my fault.

now i’m at prom. the speakers blasted a pop song i don’t know the name of. all of the kids in the room were dancing, jumping around, making out in the bathroom, but i was sitting in the corner.

i would have gone home, but i was trying to avoid being near my mom at all costs. so i was just there, dying of boredom.

i caught a glimpse of her tiara. the plastic gems glistened in the dim light of the room. how was sofia able to wear cheap plastic on her head and still manage to look absolutely beautiful.

i’m so jealous of sofia. she’s a cheerleader. she’s skinny, she’s pretty, she won prom queen, and worst of all, she was matt’s girlfriend. we have had some interactions before, and i hate talking about her negatively because she is so incredibly sweet. like i’ve never met a popular girl so nice. it made it harder to hate her the way i wanted to.

her silky straight hair ran down her back, and her wide smile could light up a whole room. her dress was fabulous too. it was a really pretty shade of lavender, and it was sparkly. it complimented her figure so well. i mean, she looked like an absolute goddess.

her hands were wrapped around matt’s neck as they danced to the slow music playing. it hurt so bad. i should be over matt by now, i mean, it’s been four years. but i wasn’t over him. i wasn’t over his curly brunette hair, his beautiful blue eyes, the dimple that appeared on his left cheek whenever he would smile. i wasn’t over our late night phone calls, our weekend sleepovers, our study sessions after school. i wasn’t over him. and i never would be.

watching them dance together made me sick. the eye contact, how touchy they were. i decided to go get some punch to distract myself. i wanted to go home so bad, but a broken heart was less noticeable than the burn mark of a cigarette.

the loud music drowned out the sound of the punch splashing into the red cup. i turned around to go back to the corner i was sitting in, when a tall figure bumped into me. thankfully, i didn’t spill any punch on my dress.

“oh, sorry. i should have been watching where i was-“ my breathing stopped when i realized who i had just bumped into. his curly brunette hair, his beautiful blue eyes. matt.

“that’s alright-“ he stopped talking when he saw me. “oh, um, hey.” he said, one hand rubbing the back of his neck.

“hi.” i responded.

“you look.. amazing.” he complimented.

“oh, thanks. you too.”

“are you having fun?” no. not when she’s the one you’re dancing with. not when i’m still thinking about you even after all these years.

“yeah, just hanging out with my friends. a night to remember.” i lied.

“yeah.” he laughed.

there was a moment of silence where we just looked at each other. the first time i’ve looked in his beautiful blue eyes in years. the first time we’ve had an interaction in years.

“hey baby, they’re playing my favorite, c’mon!” sofia ran over, grabbing chris by the arm, giving me a small wave before dragging him back to the dance floor.

“nice seeing you y/n.” he voiced, before him and sofia continued dancing together.

i tried to say something back, but nothing came out. i forgot how to speak, i forgot how to breathe. before i knew it, the tears were already falling out of my eyes.

i needed to leave. thankfully, i only live a few blocks from the school, so i could just walk home. the only thing i could think about was how i just needed to be anywhere else but this school.

i shoved open the doors, walking out into the cold rain. it was pouring outside. normally, i really liked rain. me and matt used to lay in the rain together. it’s where we had our most meaningful conversations, and shared our deepest thoughts. but i wasn’t enjoying it right now. every drop felt like cupid pulling an arrow out of me. i rushed home as quick as i possibly could, the rain soaking my hair, and the tears rushing down my face. i actually couldn’t even tell if i was crying anymore. the rain made it hard to tell.

i was able to sneak past my mom so she wouldn’t see i went out. i ran up the stairs and into my room, quietly shutting the door behind me. i let out loud sobs into my hands, my rain soaked body dripping rain into a puddle beneath me. i looked up and saw the picture we made in fourth grade art class together, my sobs growing louder. i looked next to it. a signed baseball from a game we went to together sat on the shelf, along with a scrapbook of our seventh grade summer. suddenly, my room was filled with memories of us. i need to destroy it all.

i took the canvas off of the wall, grabbing my scissors and stabbing it until you couldn’t see the picture anymore. i took the scrapbook off of the shelf, ripping out the pages, cutting them into small pieces. i grabbed the baseball, opened my window, and threw it. i didn’t see where it landed. i was just glad it was out of my sight. i ripped the cards and gifts he made me for my birthdays, and christmas, and valentine’s day, ripping and cutting them up. then the stuffed bear he got me. my favorite animal. i cut that open, ripping out the stuffing. until nothing else was left. i sighed, my sobs growing louder.

i looked down and noticed my heels, stained with punch. the rain should have washed it off. the punch reminded me of him. i must have missed when it fell out of my cup and onto my shoes. i kicked them off, throwing them under my bed.

i looked down at my dress, noticing the color of it. it was the same shade of blue as his eyes. his beautiful blue eyes. i groaned out loud, ripping my dress off and throwing it in my closet. everything reminded me of him. the clothes i wore when we hung out, the sheets we laid in, the desk he sat at while we talked for hours, the rug we sat on when we played board games, the floor, the walls, the ceiling, the window, everything. it was like he was a memory that i couldn’t get rid of.

but maybe this is how it’s supposed to be. maybe we aren’t meant to have late night phone calls. maybe we aren’t meant to have weekend sleepovers. maybe we aren’t meant to have study sessions after school. maybe we just aren’t meant to be. maybe he belongs with sofia. maybe we aren’t supposed to be together, me and the boy three doors down.

angst is one of my favorite things to write. it’s so therapeutic to me. so i hope you enjoyed this and please give me your feedback in the comments! :D

- thanks for reading!! with love, sabrina 🤍🎀

taglist:: @muchloveforhacker @saartjuhh @anonymousmfs @mylove4lana @chrissfavhoe @sturniolo101 @h3arts4harry @hereforthwtripletsfr @pepsixchris @ch3rrywine-reposts @amaliarosewood @gwennybenny @memea32221 @urfavstromboli

[mariacallous]

There are situations in which tariffs are a useful tool to address a trade deficit, or to protect key sectors of a country’s economy. Then there are situations where you accuse a bunch of penguins on an uninhabited island of currency manipulation. Guess which one we’re living in?

This is the takeaway of the manifold tariffs announced by President Donald Trump on Wednesday afternoon. In addition to the penguin-occupied Heard and McDonald Islands, the tariffs target the British Indian Ocean Territory, whose sole occupants live on a joint US-UK military base on Diego Garcia island. Yes, the United States is levying reciprocal tariffs against its own troops.

And then there are the tariffs against countries that have actual goods and services on which US consumers depend. China: 54 percent. Vietnam: 46 percent. Cambodia: 49 percent. South Korea: 25 percent. No corner of the US consumer economy will go untouched. Prices will rise. The stock market is spiraling. A recession looms. The tech industry will be turned upside down. Mark Cuban, noted billionaire, is encouraging people to stockpile consumables before it’s too late.

It’s reckless, it’s absurd, and it’s also everything Donald Trump said plainly he would do on the campaign trail. True, he didn’t telegraph how misguided the methodology would be—you can read about it more here, but suffice to say it’s thoroughly detached from the realities of international trade—but he loudly, repeatedly promised to tariff his way to glory.

The stated goal is to return manufacturing jobs to the United States, which is a bit like resurrecting the dodo. The US still manufactures plenty of goods; it’s second only to China in annual output, according to the World Bank. But many of the industry’s jobs have been replaced by automation, a bottle you can’t re-cork. And higher domestic labor costs mean US-made products will inherently be more expensive, a trade-off American consumers have consistently rejected. All of this was already true in Trump’s first term. It’s even more so now.

And let’s say a plurality of companies did decide to reshore or set up factories in the United States. The timeline for those decisions and implementation is measured in years, if not decades, and follow-through can be spotty. (Just ask Foxconn.) So what happens in the meantime?

The rationale has all the weight of a soap bubble. There isn’t a world where the US suddenly manufactures all the items the country has decided to target. There’s a 47 percent tariff on Madagascar now. Do you know why the US has a trade deficit with Madagascar? They produce vanilla; we don’t. Unless we’re suddenly setting up vanilla assembly lines in Ohio, that’s not changing.

But maybe Trump’s so-called Liberation Day is all just a master negotiating ploy. “Everybody sit back, take a deep breath. Don’t immediately retaliate. Let’s see where this goes,” said Treasury secretary Scott Bessent on CNN Wednesday. “Because if you retaliate, that’s how we get escalation.”

It’s an interesting tactic, to start a bar brawl and ask everyone not to punch back in case someone gets hurt. It’s not working. China has already vowed to retaliate; the EU suggested that it could as well. (New Zealand is officially chill.)

Set the economics of this aside for a moment, though. The insult on top of that looming injury is how sloppy this all is. It’s the same blunt-force destruction that DOGE has implemented within the US government, that Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has imposed on the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, now projected on a global scale. Yes, Elon Musk and DOGE have taken a blowtorch to federal agencies. But the tariffs are a helpful reminder that it's Trump who's fiddling while it all burns.

It’s the instinct to measure wins in units of pain and suffering. It’s an assumption that the only way to help yourself is to hurt other people. This is just what America is now.

The optimist’s case is that this is all a feint, that other countries will capitulate or at least make enough of a show of it that things will go back to normal. Seems unlikely. First of all, they’re already doing the opposite, all apologies to Bessent. But even if they weren’t, even if this is just posturing from the US, that posturing has consequences. Whatever equity the US has built up over the last century as a reputable trade partner has been largely wiped out by a businessman-president best known for his bankruptcies.

And then there’s the pessimist’s case, which also seems increasingly like the realist’s. The US is barreling toward a recession for no good reason, and dragging the world—and a few thousand penguins on remote Antarctic islands—down with it.