#reblogs are welcome tho lol

[unnonexistence]

Has anyone got mystery book recommendations? I read a lot of romance/mystery, fantasy/mystery, and sci-fi/mystery mashups already (K.J. Charles, Witchmark, Murderbot, etc.), but I’m looking for more plain old regular mystery books. Nothing too grim, please, but other than that I’ll try whatever!

Some stuff I’ve already read or am reading below the cut:

Sherlock Holmes

Perry Mason

Nancy Drew

Inspector Gamache

Kay Scarpetta (I just tried one from this series, it was bordering on too grim for me)

Brother Cadfael

[yardsards]

the ultimate battle: tumblr sexyman vs tumblrwoman

[hurglewurm]

me: keeps drawing random one-off fanarts from things that aren't currently big at all

also me: why no notes on my arte

[olde-scratch]

mm momsger high au. i didn't mean to misspell that. inspired by this post from @tobisiksi . sorry this took so long i had everything written out and then tumblr Deleted Everything even tho i had like two backup posts.

i tried to include everyone i could and give all of them unique monster types but there are some repeats :( ib sowwee i tried to make them unique when i could tho. lmk if u have any suggestions for characters or different monster types.

ALSO HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! i have to work but im going dressed as saiki so i still have the spirit

Saiki Kusuo - Lovecraftian Eldritch Horror

i mean. duh.

he poses as his own (human) worshipper to avoid being indoctrinated elsewhere

"i can't attend, i have worship tonight." "oh that's cool who do you worship?" "they don't like being talked about." "ohh so it's an... invite-only system. right......"

deciding now that closed worship systems like saiki purports are generally a total Scam and people avoid them like a plague. it fits with saikis foray into the internet lol

hes still sooo silly dw

to the people with the eldritch kusuo headcanons, i see u..... i hope u like monster high........ :)

Saiki Kuusuke - Cult Worshipper (Human)

bet you thought i was gonna say mad scientist. WRONG that's his day job.

kuusuke operates as a mad scientist since humans aren't allowed into the monster world (afaik humans arent even seen outside of jackson, who is half monster). idk what he makes tho. maybe he pulls a doctor finklestein and makes bone animals to roam the monster world?

kuusuke is the one who got his family into the monster world btw. i mean he definitely found it p quickly after kusuo started morphing and speaking in tongues and shit

kuusuke would LOVE the monster world, at least at first. he might get bored really quickly, but he'd love being able to be more of a crazy bastard than he already is

kuusuke functions as a head cultist for kusuo, but instead of strengthening him with sacrifices and praying for protection, he weakens him with sacrifices (the limiters) and prays for himself to be smote (kusuo to play games with him) (kusuo ignores him a lot)

maybe he made amp/anpu like he did warp. idk.

Saiki Kurumi / Saiki Kuniharu - Cult Worshipper (Human)

they were 100% human before being dragged into the monster world due to their sons

they basically live the same as they do in canon tbh i dont think a lot would change in the monster world

during the new years chapter maybe instead of saying kusuo has powers, they say something about his eldritchness or how glad they are to "worship" such a chill god. god i wanna write this now.

Kaidou Shun - Vampire

okay so not ACTUALLY a vampire but i think it was nopsi who had like an au where kaidou was like a weaker version of a vampire?? GOD i dont remember the name (hampir?? i cant find it on wikipedia, did it start with an f????). for all intents and purposes, im just gonna consider him a weak vampire

i cant remember if he'd be made thru a human/vampire relationship but if he was then i think we should play into the manga hair colors of his siblings and say that whole toki and sora and his mother are all full vampires, he was half vampire (perhaps he's from the father's side of the family from a previous relationship, since his mother has purple hair in her manga cover i think??)

draculara has her red drinks and her spf and her cute little parasol so OF COURSE kaidou has all of those as well. i think it would be very funny if kaidou had his umbrella customized to look like a hidden anime weapon, but it wasn't waterproof so he has to use a different one when it rains

i have a gen 1 og draculara from when i was a kid and i love her she's so cute :] someone draw kaidou in her outfit he'd slay. actually, just draw all of them in her outfit(s). gloom beach teruhashi. sweet screams mera. freak du chic saiki. sweet 1600 saiko. fearleader hairo. you cannot make her look bad idc.

Nendou Riki - Zombie (Frankenstein's Monster type zombie)

okay so this might be controversial but imagine:

everyone's chatting like normal, nendous head falls off, everyone goes deathly silent, nendou puts it back on and goes back to talking, cue kaidou screeching

bc im rewriting this im not gonna go thru my thought process so my idea was that takeuchi was a mad scientist who created midori after himself bc he only had access to a mirror (neither realized they looked the same). takeuchi died and chouno, who was smitten with midori, remade takeuchi who midori named riki and chose to raise as her own. chouno intended it as a poetic final goodbye but cut to 16 years later and hes still not over her lol

nendou being undead could also play into his appreciation for life.... protecting the obviously smaller and weaker saiki and kaidou.... his care for his dad that he never met (altho he might have two dads in this au?).... THE HAMSTER SCENE. NENDOU :((((

Teruhashi Kokomi - Tomie

im SORRY for bringing up junji ito but come ON

for those who dont know tomie, she's basically So Beautiful that men are supernaturally attracted to her until she drives them mad with her beauty. they cut her up and scatter her remains and they turn into more tomies

however. teruhashi isnt just a pretty girl. she's The Perfect Pretty Girl. so we can just ignore all the bloodshed and murder and deathmatches :D

i debated making her a siren but that just doesn't fit her for some reason. she doesn't have to try.

in op's post they made her aphrodite reincarnated but i don't think that there are gods walking amonst the student disembody unfortunately

Teruhashi Makoto - Intersection Bishounen

IM SORRY THE TERHASHI SIBLINGS JUST FIT JUNJI ITO SO WELL

the intersection bishounen is a vengeful spirit that roams the streets and gives fortunes to young girls that drive them to suicide, after which they come back as ghosts and beg for his affection.

makoto is more of a teenage/ya heartthrob than a vengeful spirit tho so we can get rid of all the cool stuff like fortune telling and driving to suicide

the intersection bishounen also didnt want to fuck his cousin so points to him

Hairo Kineshi - Fire Elemental

i KNOW he's BORING

think of heath. i think heath is like the son of hades or something idfk i say fuck that ive never heard that before until i started getting back into monster high that's not canon to me

theres... a surprisingly low amount of sports name puns :( there's casketball, ofc ofc, because mh is american. there's monster soccer from toralei's ghoul spirit notebook, but baseball and tennis from clawdeen and spectra dont get named so they dont have names. thats BULLSHIT btw someone who's good w puns help me im freezing up

gilda goldstag was also a fire elemental right? i dont actually know anything about her other than that she was in the student council bc she was in the doll pack

theres a wind elemental mentioned in spectras ghoul spirit notebook. figured that id mention it idk

i have nothing else to say this should be obvious

Mera Chisato - Shouku-jinki

okay i need to preface this with something that is very important to me about this, the Japanese creature the jikininki/shoku-jinki originated in the story of musou the preist. as far as ive been able to see, there is a second story featured on wikipedia about a pregnant woman that is legitimately someone's fucking oc insert. im not making this up, it appeared one goddamn day and i dont want to make an acc just to get rid of it but i dont want to have my ip address just There and i dont know how to like draw attention to it. so please know that the story of musou is the only legitimate source of the jikininki and the "jijinki" are just someones fucking oc inserts. i dont know why they did this, i dont know how it's still there bc its been YEARS how has no one removed it??

anyways im calm now.

jikininki (or, iirc the more modern version is shoku-jinki) are demons that were greedy or impious in life and were cursed to wander the earth forever starving and thirsty. at night, they eat dead bodies.

sooo remember how mera acted when she got her money back for a day.

her death was the cause of their bankruptcy, maybe they put all their money towards avenging her?

i think that mera would come from a half human, half monster family so she could already be in the monster world, but i dont have to worry about what powers she'd have due to being a monster.

her mother would be a demon and her father a human who doesn't quite know how to navigate the monster would, so he still has to go away to earn money. also imagine four kids following mera around, three have devil horns and taiks and one is just some guy. (idk if she has 4 siblings but you get the idea)

so yeah, mera is immortal, unable to feel satisfied by any amount of food or drink, working herself to the bone to provide for her siblings. the mera lore is Strong w this one.

u could totally also go for some real body horror with her if u wanted

Yumehara Chiyo - Ghost

ill go into the difference between ghosts and souls in toritsuka's part since you cant take away toritsukas thing but you cant just remove ghosts from mh

i initially thought of making her a cherub/cupid but girlie would be getting No One Together. also there's only one cupid in mh and uhhhh there would be no hope if that was chiyo. yk what chiyo loves tho? gossip. u know what spectra loves? gossip.

i think the ghosts in mh all have a chain motif iirc? ik spectra does but sirena von boo also does (the siren/ghost hybrid) and i dont know any other ghosts off the top of my head

anyways yumehara is totally just a regular people ghost. maybe she cries blood or somethin fun like that? maybe have a bit where she keeps getting told off for having makeup and its her eyes leaking or its her having anti blood leaking drops or wipes

Saiko Metori - Mummy

i was gonna make him a vampire but HELLO??? CLEO IS RIGHT THERE????

rich, bratty, self-centered?? DE NILE IS CLEOS LAST NAME.

idk if him being a mummy would change him like cosmetically, like skin tone or hair texture or whatever but i cant draw so that doesn't quite matter to me. altho ig hed probably just look like a pale, dehydrated, brittle pile of bandages if you wanna be historicallty accurate

his father glows because he's ra next question

he definitely decks himself out in a looott more gold than just his earring as a mummy. bangles, cuffs rings, anklets, hair accessories.

the bodyguards are just the tomb protectors that cleo gets as slaves

he gets a custom made desk of pure gold at pk and he never uses it

i think in ancient egypt married couples would be buried together regardless of if at least the wife was dead or alive, so he definitely propositions teruhashi to take a sand nap with him

he gets a pet crocodile. he has a tiger in canon i think and cleo gets a snake so like. nile crocodile obviously.

i cant tell if he lives in a pyramid just randomly in the middle of hidari wakibara, or if theres a bit about nendou asking him where his pyramid is and saikos just like "bro i Dont Live In A Pyramid."

Kuboyasu Aren - Werewolf

hello?? violent, tragic past that comes back to haunt them regularly and interfere with their daily lives?????

i dont think werewolves can turn into wolves in mh but like if you want doggy kuboyasu who's as big as kaidou, go for it

KUBOYASU WITH DOGGY EARS AND A TAIL.... i dont think that werewolves in mh have tails but thats. a crime.

kuboyasu can smell the rest of the cast. god i wanna know what they smell like in the non weirdest way possible.

i dont have a lot to say about this. doguyasu

Toritsuka Reita - Cult Worshipper (Human)

okay so there's a difference between ghosts and souls in this version. ghosts are a form of undead that are sort of just humans that can float and go thru walls and stuff. souls are the base forms of dead people that remain chained to existence with no knowledge of who they were. normal people can see ghosts, but not souls. toritsuka can see both

toritsuka was also raised in a temple in this au, pretty standard stuff. nothing interesting there.

:)

so yk how toritsuka found out abt saiki thru the souls

and yk how saikis an eldritch monster that melts mind and twists reality to his will in this au

toritsuka does not know the meaning of the term eldritch btw

if ur a torisai or toritsuka angst fan then u can always imagine toritsuka thinking himself inferior to the rest of the pk psychickers bc he's a human and didnt even find saiki by himself, but with the help of his ghosts. sorry i gotta push the torisai agenda.

i personally also hc him to be hypersexualized by the adults in his life due to his touchyness from a young age which lead to him being ostracized by his peers when he began repeating the behavior, thus encouraging the development of touch starvation that he misinterpreted as horniness. in other words, "damn bitch u live like this?". sooo do with that what u will in this au.

(could saiki like..... taste his desperation??)

Aiura Mikoto - Cult Worshipper (Devil)

basically aiura but with cute devil horns and a tail that reacts with her mood. she 100% bedazzles and paints her horns like she paints her nails.

shes still a prophet and stuff but like shes just a lil demonic now. as she deserves.

"yeah i can totes check ur future!!" (rips open a portal to the underworld, chants in a forgotten language, focuses in on one damned soul that writhes and screams for mercy as it withers out of existence where it will wait to be reborn into hell after being offered the temporary reprieve of total nothingness) "babe ur bf is cheating on u like one hundo percent. but ur gonna be a bomb ass doctor one day!!"

i want her to trip toritsuka with her tail

she's not human and she lords it over toritsuka's head when they fight for saiki's attention

Akechi Touma - Cult Worshipper (Human)

initially i wanted to make him a bugboy bc yea but consider

saiki knew him in elementary school so he pulled a real I Tracked Down My Childhood Friend Who Is Actually An Eldritch Monster Masquerading as a Pretty Boy with Pink Hair in a High School?!

yeah soo like what if their dynamic was "what if we were friends in our childhood years before you had to leave to stop the uncontrollable desire you had to break down my reality and drive me into irreversible madness, yet despite knowing the danger i faced i still hunted you down, my prayers meant solely to get a response from you devolving into genuine reverence, solidifying myself as your most loyal devotee...... haha jk. unless?"

we all know that akechi likely faced no difficulty finding the monster world dont even ask

you can insert ur own hcs with his mom all ill say is that shes probably masquerading as some sort of cult worshipper or jekyll/hyde situation to live in the monster world. or maybe he just moved schools and lives sort of nearby but not in the monster world idk

akechi would fucking Love the monster world. he'd never get bored of it. you know the sweet potato scene? oh, honey, he's got access to information about the average size of different monsters, along with the influence of proportions and size, magical interference, etc etc. hed fucking LOVE the monster world.

Satou Hiroshi - Ghost

ive already got three ghosts (see suzumiya and makino) but i couldnt think of the Most Generic monster but hear me out

he's a sheet

hes got two black or cut out circles for eyes and a little 'o' for a mouth. just fuckin 0 。0 .

HES SO. USELESS.

SO PLAIN.

SO BORING.

SO GENERIC.

SO. PERFECT.

and saiki is IN LOVE WITH HIM.

toritsuka is honestly so offended that he is not the ghost-themed object of saiki's affections

satous friends and baseball team are either the core basic monsters (werewolf, vampire, zombie, etc) or theyre basic japanese spirits. im. not doing tons of research on if there are generic japanese demons or if theres just sort of one kind of demon that has a lot of forms,,,, im so sorry i can only do so much research please correct me if you know better

Rifuta Imu - Catgirl

i dont know what the name of the actual catgirls are in mh (werecats?) like purrsephone and toralei and meowlody but fuck it catgirl

she would have THE cutest collar. OR she'd have a ribbon around her neck w a matching one on her tail like catrine de mew. she could maybe even have some sort of shredded piece of clothing like catty noir's skirt or a habit of shredding things

im sorry i dont know a lot about cat breeds so i dont have a lot to say about her species

cat themed accessories.......

btw she's a cat bc of japans obsession w cats. i considered making HER a siren since i scrapped that idea for teruhashi but i feel like it just. doesn't suit her.

Bonuses (people i couldnt find that much to talk about)

Suzumiya Hii - Cursed Soul

i mean what else would she be.

okay so shes not a SOUL shes a GHOST i just think it sounds better like that

Makino Arisu - Ghost

ring-style ghost. i think it's called a yuurei? i did my research for her but i forgot it and the og post got deleted so. im upset.

Matsuzaki - Headless Horseman

idk what is his horse would be i just wanted bloodgood to have Presence in this and the principal is only seen like. three times.

i considered giving kuboyasu the status as headless horseman bc of his motorcycle but g1 bloodgood did not serve that much cunt for her type to be given to a 16 year old im sorry

(i also recently got a bloodgood as my first doll when i got back into mh and i love her :] she came w a cool coat that isnt her og coat but its nice anyways)

Chouno Urkyoku - Mad Jester

okay so ik i said he was a mad scientist but he retired that in order to go into entertainment. it's not going too well.

you could also go for a ringmaster/clown route but we all lived thru 2016 (or was it 2017?) and the ensuing cliche-ifying treatment the media gave scary clowns put me off them personally lol they kind of bore me

(if u don't live in the us or don't know what im talking about that happened in 2016, then god i envy you. just look up "2016 clowns usa" im sure you'll figure it out)

Michael (Ikemi something I think?) - Zombie

idk it just fits him

zombies in g1 can only communicate thru moans which makes them nonverbal in some way but g3 STOLE that from us. fuck them.

Nendou Midori / Nendou Takeuchi - Frankenstein & His Monster

i explained this in nendous thing im not repeating myself sorry

PK Principal - Gorgon

yes its bc of the glasses

also i think theres something fun about being able to say he can rule the school with an iron fist (or ig rock fist) without needing to use his eyes

Kongou - Minotaur

big strong and VIOLENT. you can also play into manny's more delicate side with kongous change of heart after saiki helps him realize what matsuzaki does for him

Takahashi - Goblin

idk i think it just suits him

Shima - Changeling

her whole bit is being a forgettable face so what if she was always just a Little Bit Different every time you saw her

Iridatsu family - Mummy

okay ik ive already done mummy but HEAR ME OUT.

idk abt the mom but i think it would be funny if yuuta was just covered in bandages and his whole thing is tripping over/hitting people with them

The pervy teacher who wasn't actually pervy at all he just had an unfortunate face - Human

he's not even disguised as anything

the monsters saw him and said "nah im p sure he's one of us" and then took him

teacher doesnt quite care cause the monster world has better health plans /j

The "your manga artist is gnc af" guy - Kitsune

kitsune are typically seen as elusive tricksters which doesnt suit his character BUT

theres a whole joke about japanese mangakas being worked to the bone to provide chapters every week or so for serialization even going so far as to hide or make excuses as to why they did not complete the chapter

i feel so bad for them bro i could not (used to do weekly updates for fics for 5 years before i started needing money bc i turned 18)

also. someone give that man fox ears and a tail.

The Alphonse guy - Invisi Billy

idk what invisi billy is but he can be here helping alphonse hide from the shame of his chunnibyou :D

Makoto's rival guy - Banshee

it just. Suits Him.

idk if there are male banshees bc we only know sarah screams and her mom but we can have a trans icon if we need

[wild-shaped]

"to make friends you have to actually put yourself out there and talk to people!!1!" okay. i can ALSO just yearn from afar and pine for a future i never gave a chance

[ghost-proofbaby]

BOOK CLUB CHAT

okay y’all. i know it’s been a while since i made that og post (just been busy!!), but i’m officially gonna make that wonderful book club chat i mentioned!

essentially, i just want a chat where we can all scream about the fics we love, theorize, recommend new fics, etc!

the easiest way to do this is through discord.

if you would like to join this chat, all you’ve gotta do is privately message me your discord name!! 🖤

the only rules are to be kind and for it to be 18+. a lot of fics i love and read are already 18+, so that shouldn’t come as a surprise haha. you’re all sweethearts too so it works out 😌

lemme know. <3 (again, messages preferably!!! it’s been scarily easy to lose track of messages in my askbox these days as well as replies on posts 😬)

[puppygirlbutch]

"No Gods No Masters" but he's so good at getting on all fours, barking and cumming on command when I tell him to 🥰

This post is about me t4t lesbian sex, mlm and mlnb welcome to reblog tho💕

Terfs and Minors DNI!!! 18+ ONLY

[baltharino]

It's called both titles! Though I chose 'airplane' for the caption bc that's what I knew it as first

Airplane! (1980)

[dapperrokyuu]

Not sure if I should shill my translyrics now that the Alien Stage fandom has exploded...

[skythealmighty]

man. there are so many object shows out there. I NEED TO CATCH UP ON SO MANY why are the4e so many anyway Exclamation Mark (NOT AB) im killing you. he would get bullied off tumblr

#rocket talk #roc save #NOT THE ANIMATIC BATTLE ONE that ones fine #i mean the one in my header #hes an asshole #why do i keep accidentally hitting the number keys lately

(7 notes)

📉 storyboard-but-better Follow

i cant believe my contestants are so pissy over the second challenge still!!!! it was a coherent challenge i think "survive me killing you" is pretty straightforward!!! besides theyre fine now >:/

⏰ timeisatool Follow

Maybe it's becausw you killed them?

📉 storyboard-but-better Follow

well thats stupid

⚪ fuckingcircles Follow

I KNOW RIGHT!! my old contestants got SO pissy when i killed th3m!! just because theres no recovery... 😒

⏰ timeisatool Follow

You dont have recovery????

⭐ everybody-smile-smile-smile Follow

arent u supposed to be dead

⚪ fuckingcircles Follow

well im NOT so

❗ black-and-red Follow

Ugh, I haven't even killed anyone that much and they're still pissy! Honestly... just do the challenges and you'll be fine! I only threatened them..

⭐ everybody-smile-smile-smile Follow

well i thought i killed circle but ig not! and square but nobody else died idk why everuones so afraid of me... whats so wrong w wanting to make a perfect object show?

⏰ timeisatool Follow

Um

🔥 betterheatsflamesman Follow

yeah theres nothing wrong with that! you gotta do what you gotta do for your object show

⏰ timeisatool Follow

😰😰😰😰😰

⏰ timeisatool Follow

I want to leave this group...

#i thought we were all just supposed to be wacky and weird 😰😰 #mom come pick me up im scared...

(34 notes)

🔥🔃 betterheatsflamesman Follow reblogged 🪔 slay-style-queen

🪔 slay-style-queen Follow

Hey guys, just managed to get sponsored with my object show idea!!! (No thanks to you Lip Stick lol) wish me luck!! Also go keep an eye out on Village of Objects Official :D

🪔 slay-style-queen Follow

what the FUCK

🪔 slay-style-queen Follow

oh my god how do you all stay sane actually

4️⃣ four-therecord Follow

we don't! welcome to the club

🪔 slay-style-queen Follow

im never doing this again

#:)

(4,294 notes)

📻 annie-annie-ooh Follow

Who's Animatic?

#It's Your Fridge DJ! #I appreciate all the lovemail and the concern! ❤ #I don't understand some of the asks but thank you anyway!

(725 notes)

🧪🔃 test-tubular Follow reblogged 💥 fans-fantastic-features

🫵 have-you-heard-of-this-os Follow

Have YOU heard of:

🫵 have-you-heard-of-this-os Follow

Please stop debating on whether or not this "counts" as an object show, this was requested by an anon. If you want to do that on your own time on your own blog, feel free!

💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow

SORRY ABOUT THAT SJEHSKEB will move i promise 🙏

anyWAY on another note i miss this showww 😭 i was so intrigued about it but i guess i understand its cancellation... if anyone wants to come up with a rewrite w me hmu my ao3 is in my desc!!!!

⭐ everybody-smile-smile-smile Follow

just as long as you clarify its unofficial!! (:

💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow

its on ao3 ofc its unofficial

💥 fans-fantastic-features Follow

WAIT A GODDAMN SECON

#Fan we were /on/ an object show and technically famous I'm not sure why you're surprised at this point #Also get off your phone we're at Purgatory Mansion

(11,374 notes)

anonymous asked: hey greeny can you say trans rights for everyone out there

🟢 greenyguy Follow

trans rights AND trans wrongs. even if you like burger king i still support you <3

#burger king sucks ass tho dont do that to urself

(34,193 notes)

💥 fans-fantastic-features asked: im SO sorry for the sudden reply earlier, up until your post i thought hfjone was just some weird wild experimental show?? then again i shouldnt be surprised if happy star themselves is on this goddamn site (also sorry in advance for my friend TT sending you asks about alternate universes. shes a science nerd of all types and needs data or sm) if you want i can tell you what i know about your situation in a private chat, ive done a lot of deep dive analysis posts on my blog too and trust me when i say a LOT of the internet wants to help free you and everyone else you have plenty of help available spotty replies tho im investigating smth

🎒 liam-plecak Follow

I... yeah, I'd like that. Thanks.

(34 notes)

anonymous asked: battery ui is kind of already jailed but still

🔒 your-fav-would-be-jailed Follow

Battery from Ultimate Insanity would be jailed!

🔋 theft-and-battery Follow

Yeah

#Why did someone earlier send in that Walkie Talkie person? #I approve of the Blender submission though #Hate that guy

(12 notes)

🎒🔃 liam-plecak Follow reblogged 💥 fans-fantastic-features

🕹 fire-cartoon-schtick Follow

cant have shit in this fuckass hotel 😒😒😒 lens just died 😔😔

🕹 fire-cartoon-schtick Follow

#WHAT THE FUCK #DONT JUST DROP SMTH LIKE THAT AND DIP #ARE YOU OKAY?? #ARE YOU TALKING ABT A GAME???

hi! rhanks for the concern! 😁 i am unfortunately not talking about a game lens is actually dead please help me (dms r open 🙏🙏)

#Since I've gotten a lot of followers recently I feel like I should boost this #I'm busy with my own issues but maybe someone else can help?

(5,204 notes)

⚪ fuckingcircles Follow

i want my SHOW BACK i want my CO HOSTS BACK i want calculatory DEAD i only MILDLY HATE happy star i dont KNOW WHAT ELSE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT

🥝 gela-not-jelly Follow

🫵 Fanny kinnie

⚪ fuckingcircles Follow

who the FUCK is fanny

#im CIRCLE not a goddamn FAN #who even names themselves fanny anyway

(382 notes)

⚪battleforcircle asked: oml spiderman pointing meme

⚪ fuckingcircles Follow

you sent me this FIFTEEN TIMES get OUT of my ASKBOX!!!!

📉 storyboard-but-better Follow

why are there two of you...

⚪ fuckingcircles Follow

theres only ONE of me i dont know who this IS!!

⚪battleforcircle Follow

theres three of us just three of us

#idk why either tbh #tumblr just recommended his acc to me one day #he seems fun to annoy tho so ive taken it upon myself to do so #tee hee

(89 notes)

📶 she-walkie-on-my-talkie-till Follow

Hey so why is a known criminal on Tumblr?

📶 she-walkie-on-my-talkie-till Follow

Hello???

[vroomvroommuppett]

birthday celebration | main masterlist | taglist | buy me a coffee! | pateron | still taking requests! | feedback form!! | lance story tag list

requested by: @raizelchrysanderoctavius: Today is my birthday, October 24th here in my country. I don't know the time difference from your country. Can I request Lance Stroll x y/n please 🥺 I'm 23 this year and I have like major baby fever this year 😭 I'm single and not ready to mingle. Lance and y/n have been in a relationship for years but the fans always call her a gold digger even tho they don't even know her background, because she's a very private person. And letter at summer or winter break some paparazzi caught her with a baby bump. And the comments about gold digger get bought up again and some crazy fans even accused her of baby traping Lance. Y/n finally have had enough of all the hatred reveal that she's a daughter from the owner of a very successful company, her family is richer than the Stroll. And She and Lance already have 4yo n 2 yo children. Right now she's pregnant with their 3rd child. Thank you very much. Love u so much🫶❤️💜

a/n: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! hope you love this!!

likes comments reblogs appreciated!

©vroomvroommuppett | i do not give the right for my works to be posted, copied or translated anywhere.

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f1gossip

liked by user1, user2, and others

f1gossip wife of lance stroll, yn ln-stroll was seen sporting a baby bump in canada. not much is known about yn, but there are reports and sources that she is a gold digger, and now it looks like she has baby trapped lance.

tagged: ynlnstroll, lance_stroll

user1 damn she really is using him

user2 she just wants the money

user3 ew such a gold digger

user4 and this is why people don't like her.

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williamsracing

liked by ynlnstroll, lance_stroll, and others

williamsracing We are so excited to announce our new owner, YN LN-Stroll! Welcome to the team, YN!

tagged: ynlnstroll

ynlnstroll thank you! excited to join!

user5 the woman was too stunned to speak

user6 where are all the people who said she was a gold digger?

lance_stroll MY WIFE EVERYONE.

lance_stroll Oh, and watch your back, @.f1gossip

f1gossip Yes sir. landonorris HE CLOCKED YOU LOL danielricciardo He stunted on you.

fransisca.cgomes hot wifey

logansargeant Thank you for believing in me.

ynlnstroll anything for my kid

alex_albon We're gonna slay next season.

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ynlnstroll

liked by lance_stroll, maxverstappen1, and others

ynlnstroll happy 5 years to my amazing, cute, sweet, sexy, hot, dilf husband. being your wife and mother of your kids has been the best thing that's happened to me. i love you so much.

tagged: lance_stroll

lance_stroll I love you so much, baby. Can't wait to take you out tonight before we become a family of 5.

maxverstappen1 Cutest family ever.

williamsracing Parents

astonmartinf1 No they're ours. ynlnstroll custody schedule?

user7 SHUT UP THEY HAVE MULTIPLE KIDS?!

carmenmmundt Ugh you're so hot.

estebanocon Cannot it's been 5 years. I still remember every time Lance would rant to me about you before you two got together. I probably still have those texts...

mickschumacher Same

logansargeant My parents

lance_stroll Our son.

f1gossip well this is what i never expected...

fernandoalo_official Grandpa Nando reporting for duty tonight

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tag list: @yukimaniac @nichmeddar @formulaal @formulaonebuff @2pagenumb @charllleclerc @heavy-vettel @theforevermorereject @raizelchrysanderoctavius @il0vereadingstuff @samantha-chicago @lieswithoutfairytales @ietss @norstappenvibes @woozarts @d3kstar @thescooby-gang @nikfigueiredo @barcelonaloverf1life @stupid---person @novelswithariana @magical-spit @lady-laura-speaks @alice-went-away @exotic-iris13 @avengers-assemble123456 @loomiscorpse @mxdi0 @wondergirl101ks

[bread-is-my-life]

OH MY GOD STAIN-CHAN??? OH MY GOD STAINMIGHT YURI??? LET'S GOOO

Stain-chan

[dev1lm4n]

all glory

masterlist | kofi (support me here!)

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: joel has been feeling insecure, finding it hard to come to terms that he's indeed aging. tommy suggests a clever solution: a post-apocalyptic glory hole

word count: 4.8k of pure filth

warnings: minors dni (18+), post-outbreak, joel is 56 here hehe hot old men, insecurities, glory hole, fingering, unsafe piv, slight breeding kink, no pregnancy stuff tho cuz im terrified of that, reader calls him sir, pet name (darling)

note: i decided to create a kofi bcs im a broke college student lol. anyways hope yall enjoy this, do COMMENT and REBLOG if you enjoyed this :)

Joel Miller had always been a man of confidence.

Being left as a single father for Sarah at an early age, he’s been through thick and thin, trying his best to make ends meet so that they wouldn’t have to end up in one of those run-down shelters. But never once did he question his ability to attract women. 

He’s always had it in him. With a mere glance from his expressive eyes, he can ensnare hearts and leave an everlasting impression on anyone fortunate enough to encounter him. Rugged masculinity and striking refinement; a deathly mix that kept girls swarming after him like bees. After the world descended into chaos, he’s not much different either. Perhaps the bone-deep trauma had left him looking eternally exhausted with sunken eyebags, or that gray filaments started becoming a welcomed addition to his beard, but all in all he’s still charming.

He didn’t have to seek, because people seek for him. Joel had plenty of erotic rendezvous in times where society crumbled and the rule of law eroded, more so now that everyday could be his last and he didn’t have the privilege to take it slow like a true Southern gentleman. He’s done it everywhere. Inside a stuffy closet while hiding from a clicking monstrosity, behind a thin wall while her husband sat cluelessly on the other side, and even taking sexual compensation for his little business. Joel Miller wasn’t a saint. Neither he one for God and he’d like to make it obvious.

Nowadays though, within the tall foreboding walls of Jackson City, that type of attention has faded away. He’s no longer getting those longing stares from across the floor, no longer being begged to corrupt just for some extra wad of cards, no longer being flirted and fawned over like a goddamn stud. Joel didn’t have any problem with it at first. He’s growing old. Instead of those naughty strands of white peeking out of his head, he’s now a complete mix of salt and pepper. Instead of just having a fun smile line, forehead rolls and crows’ feet are now imprinted deep into every crevice. Joel wasn’t the man he used to be. 

He’s weathered away, he thought, unsuited for fun and adventure.

Perhaps it had something to do with his daughter as well. Even when Ellie’s not from his actual blood, everyone in town viewed her that way. He’s her father. Thus, everyone seemed to perceive and treat him as merely a father and not as an actual person that has his own needs and wants. Joel loved his daughter. Terribly so in ways he couldn’t decipher. A part of him has made up his mind that this would be how he should spend the rest of his life: in celibacy. Though the retirement of his sexual and romantic life has slowly taken a toll towards his self-esteem. Tommy, who’s always known to be rather slow and imperceptive, was surprisingly the first one to take notice of his gradual change.

“Maria told me you might be here.”

Tommy’s gruff voice brought him out of his trance. Joel looked up, meeting the familiar figure crouch to get into his little workshop. It was his newfound hobby these days, becoming a hermit and isolating himself from the community. He’d craft a wooden figure or two each night while he relived each and every one of his memories. Good and bad. Of death and of birth. Then by the end of the night he’d feel mildly satisfied with a wooden sculpture shaped like memorabilia from the old world. Joel couldn’t admit it outloud, but insecurity had taken over him. It festered deep into his soul that he couldn’t even bear looking at himself in the mirror anymore or present himself to society.

“Yeah, just..” he paused to ponder on a better way to answer. “Just doin’ my own thing.”

“You skippin’ dinner again?” Tommy’s curiosity sounded oddly suspicious, enough that Joel already knew he’s about to say something obnoxious or entirely uncalled for. The older quirked his thick eyebrows in return.

“Made myself my own plate,” Joel cocked his head towards where a lone plate sat. Judging from the crimson stain smeared on top, it must’ve been one of those canned pastas that he picked out.

“Brother..” Tommy started out, visibly nervous of how his brother would take it. “Is there something wrong?”

“With me?”

“Yeah, with you.”

“No, not that I could think of,” Joel hummed. “I ain’t bitten or anythin’, why are ya asking such a dumb question anyway?”

“You’re just different these days,” Tommy reasoned with a small frown. “You barely come out of your house and if you do, you’re huddled up in this place, carving things for hours on end.”

“There’s nothin’ wrong with wanting to be alone. Is there?” he challenged.

“No, but you’re.. different. Almost like your mind’s troubled for once.”

“There’s nothin’ wrong, Tommy,” he insisted.

Joel was actively avoiding the accusations. He stood up from where he’s been perched upon for hours on end, bringing his half-carved wooden slab with him to set it on one of the displays he had. He’s grown quite the collection. It’s been going on far longer than he’d expected, the crippling fear of being undesirable and hideous, and it brought up an immense feeling of embarrassment. He couldn’t possibly admit such things to Tommy, could he? Tommy was different from him. His first child was on its way to be birthed, but girls still chatter about his charming smile and strong figure. They’d still gossip and make dirty guesses about his size. How long he endured such activities, the position he enjoyed best, and how sweet he was to his partner.

Tommy couldn’t possibly understand his fear.

“You can’t help me even if I told ya,” he grumbled.

“Put some trust in me, will ya?” Tommy chuckled as he spun around his seat to follow Joel’s every move. “Tell me what’s troublin’ you, big brother.”

“They don’t look at me the same way.”

“Who doesn’t?”

“The ladies,” Joel muttered.

His words were barely above a whisper. It almost seemed as if he saw the phenomenon as something humiliating, up to the point where he couldn’t even look Tommy in the eye in fear of having him laugh. He’s never talked about this with anyone else. It didn’t help that he truly didn’t have anyone to talk to in general aside from the few acquaintances his brother introduced him to and well.. Ellie. But none of them seem to be the right person to talk to regarding this. 

Regarding his failure in masculinity. His unspoken worries that he didn’t have any of the strong, chiseled jawline or any of the tightly packed abdomen with six separate squares to admire. He’s grown old and weak. Five years ago, he could’ve probably still sweet-talk his way into a woman's heart, but now he couldn’t even look one in the eye without the fear of being put to shame.

“They still do, Joel,” Tommy assured him. He’s telling the truth. Joel knew that Tommy didn’t have it in him to lie, he’d have sounded like a strangled bird or a squeaky dog’s toy if he did. But his mind couldn’t believe it one bit.

“I don’t know, Tommy..” he muttered. “They don’t look at me the same way. They don’t look at me at all even.. and I’m fine with that I 'spose. I ain’t a whorin’ bastard who couldn’t accept that he’s agin’..”

“But they do, Joel.”

“I’m old,” he sucked in the air. “Lately there are these moments where I.. where I’d look a girl in the eye and all I could feel was humiliation.”

“Humiliation?”

“Like they’re lookin’ at me as if I’m some.. some sort of repulsive creature,” he whispered. “I feel like I could hear ‘em gigglin’ with their girlfriends on how shameless I am.”

Tommy was deduced into silence. Time ticked by as he cranked up his brain to figure out the best way to aid his older brother out of his misery. It’s all in his head, Tommy knew that Joel knew that as well, but it’s easier patching up an oozing wound than a troubled mind. He brought his hand together on top of his jeans as he waited for the younger to make another comment, whether of comfort or of a harsh reality.

“I’ll offer you a solution,” Tommy spoke up. “But you gotta promise not to lose your head over it.”

“It ain’t drugs, is it?”

“No, no..” Tommy chuckled humorlessly.

“I’m open to anythin’” Joel dropped his arms to his side as he curiously eyed Tommy.

“Have you ever heard of a glory hole?”

Joel’s expression contorted in such a way that the younger Miller couldn’t possibly read what he’s thinking any longer.

“I ain’t goin’ outside those borders just to go to some sketchy brothel, Tommy. That’d be pathetic.”

“Well, the thing is this whole operation ain’t sketchy,” Tommy reasoned. “The girls were tested and approved by the local doctor before..”

“Local doctor? You tellin’ me this is happenin’ within Jackson?”

“I operate it, Joel,” he sighed, knowing he’s about to be bombarded with a handful of questions. “And before you ask, no this ain’t considered prostitution as there’s no material exchange.”

“You mean..”

“Yes. The girls do it for free. Volunteers. They do it for their own pleasure and I help make their dreams come true.”

Joel looked at his own brother as if he was a mad man. Who wouldn’t? When he’s just told him that they had an actual glory hole installed without most of the public knowing. Or perhaps they knew, they were just not talking about it in front of Joel.

“Ten to twelve. There’s a small house across the sheep field. One girl every Friday night.”

“Jesus Christ, Tommy. Maria knows about this?”

Tommy shifted uncomfortably on the stool.

“No, but it’s better off she doesn’t.”

Joel felt his morals set askew for a second. This sounded like a terrible idea, despite the fact that he’s confirmed it himself that it’d be the safest a glory hole could possibly be. He scratched his beard and took it into deep consideration.

In the quiet stillness of a winter’s night, the world was wrapped in a soft, white blanket of snow. The moon hung low in the dark sky - a beacon towards those who chose to travel in the deepest hours of nighttime. Joel blew puffs of warm air onto his gloved fingertips, hoping it’d satiate the coolness that made his joints ache and his skin itch. The air was crisp and biting, each breath producing a frosty cloud which quickly amalgamated into the air. He watched as gentle snowflakes, alike to elegant ballet dancers, fell from the heavens up above and twirled and swirled into an intricate pattern. He’s been waiting for way too long.

“So what are ya sayin’? Are you gonna let me take you tomorrow night?” Tommy broke the silence.

Tommy promised to meet him on the edge of the sheep field, where they’d herd livestocks all throughout the warmer times of the year, but he’s yet to see his tall nose and dark hair from any of the cardinal directions. He’s been waiting for too long to keep the same mindset Tommy’s trained him into, that this was simply a beneficial exchange for every party involved and that he shouldn’t feel shameful for something so instinctive. Waiting gave him time to weigh out the cons, how this was naturally an act of debauchery that wounded both his moral values and beliefs. He ain’t a God preacher, but he’s sure to keep some of those Southern manners.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

None of Tommy’s ideas are ever well thought out. Starting from his sudden gravitation towards the military, to his desires to hand over his entire life towards the Fireflies, and now this. He knew his younger brother wasn’t the brightest of men, but creating an entire glory hole to keep the town’s morale up might be the stupidest one he’s heard yet. Especially when Maria’s not aware of it. He feared for the day when the beans spilled out of its jar, but tonight wasn’t that day. During the time in which he contemplated his decisions, Joel didn’t notice the crunching of snow against thick boots. Tommy was here and he looked far too calm for a self-made procucer.

Tommy beckoned him to follow the path his boots had made. Joel sucked in some of that painfully cold air into his lungs, before he stuffed his hands in his pockets and started trailing along. There were a few street lamps across the field, a ruddy glow emanating from them as they were adorned with a light dusting of snow. He kept his guards up while he scanned through the whistling field of crop, that traumatized part of him always keeping in check of abrupt movements and unsettling sceneries. After a quiet walk for a good three minutes, they finally arrived. The house fronts looked dark enough, and the windows even darker, contrasting with the smooth white sheet of snow upon the roofs.

There was snow piling up outside as well, dirtier ones whose last deposit had been plowed up in deep furrows by the heavy wheels of carts and wagons. He scrutinized over the tracks, wondering if this was meant to be used as a makeshift grain tower. If it was, then Tommy must’ve been a great scheming asshole to turn such a place into his own little heaven. Not one soul was around, which confused Joel even more. Wasn’t this supposed to be a public glory hole? Weren’t it supposed to be disgustingly packed with sweating men, adorned with walls covered in left-over spurts of cum and other bodily fluids, and smelled like sex itself?

Joel continued to pursue Tommy even when he’s overly skeptical about this entirely new scene. His boots were scuffed as he was dragging his feet through the front door, a fight against his defense system that’s begging him to flee out the door at the unfamiliarity. The establishment consisted of a long narrow hallway that eventually led up to an imposing door. Wooden, large, and mysterious.

To his surprise, what was beyond that door wasn’t some tacky sex dungeon with rattling chains and leather whips, it was a modest looking box. Square, he’d assume one meter wide and half a meter tall. He took in the wood it was made from. His pointer finger slowly traced the circumference out of habit. Oak, he concluded, making it sturdy and cool even in the warmer weather. What he failed to notice from the get-go was a pair of legs that were stretched open, chained onto the wall from the considerably-sized gap. Joel’s heart dropped to his stomach, he forgot for an entire minute what he was planning to do, and he’s starting to get cold feet.

“Darlin’, I’ve got someone for you,” Tommy cooed.

“You do, Tommy?”

Normally, people acquire hobbies in order to soothe their brief but occasional boredom, though you have discovered a unique way to tackle long hours of the night. This brilliant discovery of yours was birthed from a fated moment. One where you accidentally stumble across the conversation Tommy had with one of his patrol friends. It began a fantasy in your head. One you didn’t believe could come true until you overheard a passionate storytelling session one of the barmaids gave their friend. Only then did you gather enough courage to talk to Tommy about it. Despite his initial disapproval, saying things like you look too good and gentle to be doing such things, you managed to convince him with a week's worth of nagging.

“Mhm, one of my good friends here,” he hummed. “You’ll let him use you like a good fucking girl, won’t you?”

Goosebumps trailed from your backbone down to where your legs spread wide. Your nervousness made you flinch, effectively causing your legs to rattle against the metal restraints.

“Yes, I will, Tommy.”

When did you get so.. obedient?

“Alright then. I’ll see you in um.. twenty?”

“Thirty,” the foreign voice spoke up, masculine with a twinge of accent.

“Thirty it is.”

The entire room went quiet for an entire minute, only then did you finally hear the door slammed back shut. You swallowed back the throbbing fear in your heart, pushing back those persistent thoughts constantly warning you of the dangers. Even if you trusted Tommy with all your life, you didn’t trust the random strangers Tommy’s picked out. How could you trust them when you didn’t know who they were for sure? They could’ve been someone you see on the daily. The friendly guards, the cafeteria guy who’d always beam a sweet smile your way and give out more bread than standard, or even.. Tommy’s hunk of a brother. The same one who wouldn’t even spare you a look when you’re obviously sending heart eyes his way.

“Darlin’ is your name, ain’t that right?”

There was something so.. alluring about his voice. The type that makes your knees buckle inevitably, despite your best efforts to push it apart.

“That’s right,” you squeaked out.

“Darlin’, it’s been a long long time since I’ve done this, so let me indulge in you alright?”

“Okay,” you breathed out unsurely.

Your eyes instinctively followed the direction of the hushed voice, but all you could see from the dim box was a piece of dark fabric that was hung from above the hole. It was to keep your identity a secret so that the patrons across from you could only see you from the belly button down. Though now you felt more inclined than ever to pull on the draping and meet this man’s eyes. Your thoughts soon diminished when you felt a large hand over your inner thighs. Nowhere dangerous, just resting below where your kneecaps sat. You closed your eyes to try and envision the kind of hands touching you.

Were they soft and unsullied like a baby’s bum? Or were they rough and ridged with years of work?

That large hand traveled down South, inching with an irritatingly slow pace down towards where you ached the most. He was a fair man. He treated both of your thighs in the same manner before the two gathered together in a v-shape over your cotton panties. You wondered if you should’ve worn something more enticing, something which suited a person like you - someone willing to spread their legs for a true stranger. But the man on the other side didn’t seem to have a problem. He didn’t seem like he was bothered by the simplicity of your presentation, instead he was keen on pressing his thumb down the center.

They were the latter. 

His fingers were textured and it felt too good to be true. At the briefest touch, you followed after his movement, hips reaching further up to chase after his departing touch. You whined. Frustrated that he’s cruel enough to press your sensitive clit and leave you all hot and bothered. He let out a deep chuckle, one that came out from the depth of his stomach as he placed his thumb back where it belonged. Your hole clenched and unclenched at the stimulating sensation. Your cotton panties seemed to be a great aid for your needy clit. It felt similar to grinding over a pillow, just this time, it felt a lot more real and animated.

“How long have you been doin’ this, darlin’?”

“Doin’ what, sir?”

So polite. It’s laughable the fact that you’re so soft spoken. Your lips spilled out a gentle moan as his thumb dug deeper into that sensitive spot.

“Lettin’ strangers fuck you,” he was frank with his words that’s for sure.

“This is my first time.. in the box that is,” your voice cracked almost immediately under pressure. “Been thinking of this for a long long time though.”

The gruff man hummed noncommittally as he continued to please you with his thumb. You used to be shy when it comes to being reactive during intercourse, but with the box, it almost felt like you could finally be your true primal self with your utmost carnal desires. He slowly eased your stained panties to the side once he saw an increasingly growing wetness, knowing that it’s time to move on to his next way of torture. Your pussy was exposed to the cool air immediately, it felt like the air was nipping at the sensitive skin all around. He took his two fingers - his middle and pointer finger being his favorite choice despite the controversy - and slowly dragged it atop the slick canal.

“A pretty girl like you gettin’ all wet from a little touchin’,” he chided. “You haven’t been fucked well or somethin’?”

What a considerate man. He called you pretty when he could barely tell what you look like.

“No, maybe, I-” you were flustered. You’ve never had to exchange proper talk when someone’s touching your dirty, wet cunt. “None of Jackson’s men did good. That’s why I hoped..”

Your voice trailed off into a garble of nonsense when he teased at your entrance, trying to decide whether you’re soaked enough to push a finger in comfortably. You whined, louder this time, as your legs fought against the uncomfortable metal cuffs wrapped around your ankle. He decided to play nice for once and made your dreams come true by inserting that thick finger of his. Fingering has never felt good for you, it always felt like an intrusion rather than a welcomed feeling, but he’s making it feel like heaven on earth.

“Hoped a stranger would fuck me well enough,” you took awhile to finish that statement.

He let out one of those noises of disapproval, at your skewed moral direction perhaps or at the tone of desperation your voice must’ve let out. You could only suck in a shallow breath when he started making proper, continuous motions with his finger. He pushed upwards to poke the tip of his finger onto that squishy part, playing around to find out where exactly made you react the most. You loved how he’s patient. You’re half-expecting the men to just stuff their cocks in you like you’re some sex doll instead of taking their time, which you don’t mind either. Half the pleasure was from being treated like nothing.

“Dirty gal,” he degraded, which you found both surprising and exciting. “Just wanted her pussy stuffed with any cock she could have, hm?”

Your hips thrusted up at a larger interruption. This time, the man managed to insert two of his thick fingers inside your eased cunt. He twisted it one-hundred-eighty degrees to the left, then back to the right, before he curled it in a come-here motion. The motion had left you dumb. A combination of ah ah ah’s and unfinished pleads for him to keep still. The man never once fully removed his fingers out of you. He’d slowly pull back to only have a single knuckle stuck inside before pushing it all the way in once more. For once, someone didn’t finger you like you’re a pizza dough waiting to be pounded.

“A-ah, sir. I really.. mmh- I really like that,” you moaned out shamelessly. “Feels really good in my.. in my pussy.”

“You like what, darlin’?”

“Like your fingers.. fingers in my ah- ah pussy!” you whined when he deepened his reach by rotating his wrist upwards. “Something- fuck- something’s coming! Please.. Please don’t sto-”

You warned him like a goddamn virgin and there it was, you couldn’t see it, but you could hear the way your pussy squelched around his finger at the new wave of sticky fluids. The noises were filthy and lewd that you were embarrassed for the first time that night. It coated your throbbing cunt and slowly ebbed out of your hole, dribbling down onto the wooden floor boards under. Strings of almost translucent thickness proof of his success. It’s pretty. The way you gaped around his fingers, tightened and relaxed at his fingers that still kept you full.

“Good girl,” he cooed.

He must be experienced, because he was quick to rub your clit precisely as you went through the throes of orgasm. His broad palm never missed where that bundle of nerves were, until you’re dripping all over the place. Only when you’re right towards the end did he land a small smack atop your pussy, keeping pressure where your womb is to maintain the pleasure for as long as you could. It felt like this wasn’t a shit place for once. It felt like this stranger could surely turn the flesh-eating monsters into a field of rainbows and flowers from how good he’s making you feel.

“You taste sweet,” he muttered. “Someone ever told you that?”

It took you a while to notice that his fingers weren’t there to stuff you full. He was busy tasting you. You could imagine him on the other side of the room, rough fingers deep in his mouth, drenched in your arousal. The thought made you squirm, growing wet once more. You shook your head as his hand slid back up. His fingers ran over your clit with one long stroke before they stayed there. His thumb sat right atop the throbbing spot, unmoving. 

"Perfect little thing, ain't ya?” he asked, and you nodded, your muscles tense as anticipation ran high. "Gonna fill you up real nice."

As soon as the dull tip of his cock prodded against your entrance, your whole body convulsed. Tears slowly crept into your eyes, frustrated, you might as well cry out a pathetic plea if he kept on stalling. Your palms banged flat against the side of the box. Overwhelmed and on the verge of tears when he purposefully missed your weeping hole. His length slid upwards, the warm tip rubbed against your clit from below before it shied away once more. Your toes curled and he must’ve taken the hint from behind the curtains.

The perfect stranger pushed himself up to where his mushroom-like tip ended, allowing you to adjust to the dimensions of his cock before he eased himself deeper.

You let out a strained moan. 

You almost bump the top of your head on the oak boards when he forced his way in. His cock was fully inside you at last. You were ecstatic. Eyes shut close as you bit into your bottom lip, flesh tearing beneath your canines. It was too much all of a sudden. Too good. Too large. Too full. You could hear the loud squelching noise your spongy hole made as he pulled back and stuffed himself back in.

“Fuck,” he groaned silently. “Don’t squeeze around me, darlin’. You're gonna get me in big trouble.”

He chuckled and fuck did it sound so hot.

You felt his fingers gently reach for the width of your hips. His grip was tight and harsh as he guided your every movement with them. He thrusted like a man on a shooting range, with much precision and prowess. You liked this. Liked feeling as if you’re just a doll for people to use and dump their loads in, especially when it's for someone like him. His cock made you writhe and fight against the metal cuffs holding your legs up. Eager to have him speed up to meet your desires yet he was persistent in keeping a stable speed. The sensation was growing. Slowly but surely.

“A-ah.. mmph.. oh God!”

“God ain’t here to save you, darlin’. It’s just this old man right here,” he cooed crudely. 

He made sure to keep you full at all times. Never once did his perfectly-sized cock leave your sloppy hole, it just kept on twitching and growing in size with the help of your warm embrace. “You like this, don’t ya?”

“Oh- oh yes. I like it. Love your..,” he stopped your lewd confession by placing his thumb back atop your once neglected clit, drawing lazily with what’s left of your wetness. You could feel him starting to seep. A tinge of his own arousal mixing in with yours. “Cock! Love your c- cock.”

His heavy pants started to intensify in volume, such a lovely melody when combined with your pathetic whimpers. He’s close.

“Gonna cum in you, darlin’” he muttered out breathlessly. “Gonna make sure you’re all fucked out with my cum.”

You couldn’t think straight. Not when you’re on a highway to heaven. Your little hole tightened, so eager to milk him dry.

“Yeah, you’d like that, won’t you?”

“O-oh.. oh yes. Please.. fuck,”

“Please?”

“Please fill me up.”

His tip started oozing out ribbons after ribbons of cum, quickly filling you up relentlessly. Though he hasn’t stopped bottoming himself up into you. His load sloshed around, coated his length a perfect milky shade, and dribbled down your rear deliciously. Did you really just let a complete stranger fill you up to the top? Did you truly just let him pour his seed up your needy hole?

Maybe you did.

And maybe it’s reckless.

But oddly enough, you don’t feel too bad about it.

[thir10th]

I literally love the way you write emily! could you please do something like Morgan or anyone on the team points out how clingy you are around her so you get insecure, but Emily makes it better? thank you💕

hi anon 👋 ofc i can!! i love this concept ❤️

summary: Morgan says something that upsets you, thankfully Emily knows exactly what to do (basically the ask lol) tw: smut, shower sex, oral sex, idk i'm tired i think that's all a/n: i'm trying to do your requests, like you guys already know i can't promise i will make them all, but you're still very welcome to try! Like & reblog as always <3

You had spent a whole week on LA on this last case, more than 3 women had been murdered before you caught the unsub, which means you desperately needed a long night sleep, preferably wrapped in your girlfriend's arms.

You're sitting on the window seat, keeping the one next to it free for her, she smiles when her eyes meet yours, and sits next to you, you surround her with your arm, kissing her cheek, she moves to peck your lips as well

"hey baby" you whisper, your mouth close to hers

"hey" she answers with the sweetest voice, you can sense she also wants to get home as soon as possible.

Your other hand wraps around her leg, squeezing it

"I'm gonna go for a tea, ok? you want one?" she asks getting up, wrapping herself off of you "yeah that'd be nice" you answer, the silliest smile on your face.

"ugh, you two get a room" Morgan's voice makes you lift your head, the smile instantly erased form your face.

"What do you mean?" you ask, he has never pointed you two out before, so it surprises you

"c'mon, can't you spend 2 seconds without touching her? we were just at the airport and you were all over each other, i could not handle someone being so clingy" you're too baffled to say anything. Clingy? you had never thought about it, you loved your girlfriend so much it came natural to you hugging her and touching her, the possibility that she didn't like it had never crossed your mind.

Morgan couldn't be bothered about it, he put his headphones back on as soon as he dropped the unfriendly comment.

"there you go baby" Emily said, handing you your cup, you take it, a small smile to thank her, and you lay back to the window.

As much as you're trying you can't seem to get Morgan's comment out of your head, you never wanted to suffocate Emily, you just wanted her to feel loved, maybe she was just ashamed to tell you how uncomfortable it made her.

You sip your tea, looking out the window, "hey" Emily grabs your cup when you're finished and opens her arm offering you to lay on it

"I think I'm gonna try to sleep now, ok?" you tell her, and turn around to lay your head on the window.

You can tell se knows there's something going on, she frowns, you can feel her stare, but finally let's it go, and gets back to her book.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°

When you finally get back to your apartment, Emily throws her bag away, and you do the same, moving to sit on the couch to take your shoes off more comfortably.

"Well, I desperately need a shower, you coming?" she asks as she takes her shirt off

"Yeah, you go" you don't even look at her to answer, trying to focus on untying your shoes, you keep your head down.

Emily stands on the middle of the hallway, she looks at you, raising an eyebrow, now she knows there's definitely something going on.

"You're not gonna shower, love?" she asks, a concerned tone on her voice "Yeah, sure, you can go first tho"

Your girlfriend was too stunned to speak. It wasn't like you to turn down the offer of showering together, you couldn't remember a time when you had said no to a shower with Emily, specially after a case.

She would always lather your back soothingly, you didn't even always have sex (although it was quite common), sometimes you would simply enjoy the warm water stream, you would take care of each other, wrap yourselves into a warm embrace that could last minutes, and she would always lend you her clothes afterwards, there was no other feeling better than going to sleep clean and fresh into your girlfriend's clothes, wrapped around each other. What do you mean you don't want to shower with her?

"So, you will wait for me to shower, and you will go after me? first on the plane, now this? Baby, is something wrong? Did i do something to upset you?" you lift your head to look at her after getting rid of your shoes, her big brown eyes reflect the worry on her voice, she looks to you carefully to see what is going on.

"no, it's nothing, i just... i just don't want to be too clingy, you know?" you finally reveal. Her mouth tenses up, and she bites her lip. You know your girlfriend way too well to know that's one of her classic faces, it's the one that says -ok now i see-. She walks up to you, sitting right next to you on the couch, places her hand on your thigh soothingly.

"Baby, who told you that?" you don't wanna say, you don't want her to get upset too, but the way she runs her palm over your leg to soothe your worries makes you want to tell her everything she asked for.

"Well, Morgan, he suggested i could be suffocating you" when you say it aloud it sounds ridiculous, since when do you care about what Morgan says? About what any man has to say about your relationship? His words had just sunk into you way more than you could've expected.

"what did he say?" she licks her lips out of impotence "Because after a whole career on the fbi i'm considering murder just now" you laugh it off, blinking to avert the tears pickering your eyes.

"he said if i was his girlfriend, he would feel suffocated by how clingy i am, and how i can't keep my hands off of you" her eyes scan your face, runs her hand up and down your thigh "ok, i'm sure gonna kill Morgan tomorrow" you both chuckle "well he is kind of right, i mean we can barely spend an hour off of each other" you say trying to make sense out of the situation

"ok, so you are clingy, so what?" her voice raises a bit towards the end, a couple of notes higher, you can't help but to smile, you think it's too cute.

"I love touching you" the hand that was resting on your thigh now gets higher to rest on your waist, her other hands moves up to your neck, her thumb caressing your face "I love it when you touch me" her face gets closer, the tip of her nose brushing against your cheek, you close your eyes relaying on the touch

"I love feeling you close" she moves to sit closer to you on the couch (if that is even possible at this point) her hand keeps moving up and down your back, she kisses your cheek, "and i don't care about what anyone has to say about that, i don't want you to care about it ether" her words sink into you, everything is basically forgotten.

"I want you to touch me, to feel me" she moves your hand, previously resting on your side, she places it on her waist, and you take it upon yourself to grab her face with your other hand.

Closing the small space between you, your lips collapse in a deep kiss, Emily holds you. The kiss is quite sensual. Emily takes her time and eases your mouth open, slowly pushing in her skilled tongue into your mouth, but to your displeasure, the kiss breaks.

"C'mon, baby, come shower with me" she says standing up, holding your hand, you get up too, grabbing on to her for support "lead the way" you say, a grin on her face.

Emily opens the water stream, letting the warm fog fill the bathroom, you try to catch Emily's lips to kiss her again, she offers a very fast for your liking peck that you try to prolong, but she's faster to grab the neck of your shirt, unbuttoning the buttons one by one, and taking it off.

Her eyes never leaving yours, she kisses your collarbone as she unclasps your bra, you reciprocate the action, doing the same with hers, Emily sighing in relief as her own restricting bra was undone.

The soft trail of small kisses on your collarbone soon moving southern to your sternum, she reacher your left boob, her soft lips feel warm on your smooth skin, never getting exactly anywhere, she removes your pants along with your underwear, and you do the same with hers.

You just want to jump in the shower with your girlfriend as fast as possible and forget the day.

She slowly pulled you into the shower behind the hot water, instantly calming your tingling body. Emily instantly pulled you into a hug as the warm water engulfs you two, running her hands through your back.

She lets you lean on her shoulder while she takes whatever sweet scented body wash she could reach faster and scrubs your back, washing the day off of you.

You do the same, grabbing the bottle and squeezing some on your hands to lather your girlfriend's slightly muscular arms, up and dow, then you move to get her shoulder, her back, you cover her in bubbles.

"I love your hands" She says. Her words take you by surprise, too focused on your task of getting your girlfriend clean that you hadn't even realized she was following your every move, her expression full of love. You chuckle first, but she interrupts before you open your mouth "I'm serious, baby. Please, please don't stop touching me" she kisses you again, depositing all her love and care on the kiss.

When you break the kiss you keep your ministrations, this time you lower your hands, her breath hitches when you cup her breasts, the same massage you were delivering to her arms, now you give them a gentle squeeze.

"mh- please, honey, touch me" you love hearing your girlfriend beg, asking for it, it's not the most common thing for her to do, but whenever a plead falls form Emily's lips, your completely at her mercy, ready to comply anything she asks you to.

She let out a breathy gasp as you played with her breasts, giving your girlfriend's mighty breasts another hearty squeeze before ultimately releasing her boobs. She grabs your hips pulling you close to her, she then leaned in, giving you a quick kiss, as you swiped her tongue against her bottom lip, she grabs your ass ginig it a gentle squeeze.

Grabbing her by the hips, you push her body gently against the shower wall, you move the kisses to her neck, sucking and biting her sensitive spots as Emily throws her head back to give you better access. You slowly kissed down her valley, dropping to your knees and stopping at her belly button.

"I will touch you as much as you want baby, whatever you need" You say as you look up at her. Emily only moans in response to your reassuring words. The sound sending her into a frenzy as you slowly lick up Emily's pussy with your broad tongue, stoping at her clit as you slowly suck it, swirling your tongue with intent. 

"oh god- yes sweetheart just like that" you moan at the nickname, the sound sending vibrations over the swollen bud. You alternated between gentle licks and firm sucks, using your fingers to tease and explore every inch of her sensitive flesh.

Emily could already feel herself beginning to fall apart, with her knees threatening to buckle out at any moment while pressure swelled within her loins, she places a hand on the back of your head for support, slowly pushing it to encourage you to keep going, and breathed out, "y/n… More! F-fuck, this feels great baby…" said as you dive back into her pussy with your tongue.

Your own arousal surged at the taste and sound of Emily's ecstasy, with each flick of your tongue, each gentle caress of your fingers, you bring Emily closer and closer to the peak of pleasure.

Really, you could keep your head in your girlfriend's pussy all day just eating her out, especially from hearing Emily's sweet moans.

Honestly, she could have stood to keep you buried between her legs forever. It won't take too long for her to be able to keep holding out against the growing pressure between her thighs, which makes her legs feel weaker and weaker with every lap of your tongue.

"I'm so close, baby, please" she moans, you pick up the speed, flicking your tongue against her clit as you curl your fingers against her g spot over and over again. Emily screams as her orgasm takes over. Crying out your name, she allows her body to do as it pleases as she comes hard onto your face.

As she comes down from the height, Emily holds you tight as you slid back to you feet, standing up, the warm water still running, warming your muscles, as your bodies grind against each other, she holds you close in an embrace, surrounding your waist with her arms, you both stay there letting the water rinse your bodies.

Emily is the first to break the silence "you have no idea how lucky i feel when you touch me" she says, caressing your lower back in soft circular motions.

"I'm the lucky one, Em" you say looking at her, she grabs your face, all wet from the shower "but i'm starting to get cold, we should get out now" she chuckles, pressing your lips together in a much sweeter, gentler kiss.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°

Next day you arrive to work together, Emily has her arm fully wrapped around yours, you don't pull apart until you get to your deks.

Emily sees Morgan on the kitchen, he's making himself a coffee, excusing herself to go talk to him

"Hey Prentiss, how you doin'?" he asks, in his face the usual cocky grin, Emily doesn't even respond

"If you ever tell my girlfriend anything about the way she is with me again, you will suffer the consequences, all right?" she says, a big, ironic smile on her face, she pats him on the shoulder, warning him.

She never leaves your side for the whole day.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°

Ok yes this one is longer than i thought it would be, but this was such a cute concept, I love overprotective Emily (should i write something with that? idk) Also no hate to Morgan at all!!!! I love him and he was just being playful, ok? I won't tolerate any Morgan hate on this blog!!!!

Hope you enjoy!! <3

[astrophileous]

LOVE BUGS MASTERLIST

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Female Reader

Synopsis: You and Derek Morgan have an arrangement. At work, your relationship is strictly business. Under the sheets, it's all about pleasure. Nothing more, nothing less. Until, of course, your feelings start to get involved. Your situation is complicated enough without the unexpexted predicament that suddenly befalls upon you. But with a maniac serial killer on the loose, will you ever get the chance to make everything right?

Warning(s): 18+ NSFW SMUT CONTENT, alcohol consumption, serial killers, graphic depictions of violence/injuries/blood/murder, cursing, violent uses of guns and knives, unplanned pregnancy, mentions of abortion, kidnapping, etc. (please see each individual part to know more about the complete list of warnings)

Status: Completed

All of the parts from Love Bugs can also be found under the hashtag "love bugs" on my profile.

Criminal Minds Masterlist

Author's Note: Hellooo and welcome to the masterlist for Love Bugs! This is the very first derek morgan fic I've ever written and the very first time in my life I took a shot at writing smut lol. Pls be mindful of the warnings for this series, including the ones listed in each individual part below. It's also worth mentioning that even tho the main pairing for this fic will be derek morgan x reader, it's also got a lot of bau team x reader undertones in case you're wondering why the scenes between derek and the reader are lacking in some places. Aside from that, I hope you still enjoy this little piece of indulgence I've written and pls pls pls don't forget to give your support by liking/commenting/reblogging. Thank you!

Part 01

Part 02

Part 03

Part 04

Part 05

Part 06

Part 07

Additional materials:

You catch Derek talking to your pregnant belly

Overprotective Derek

Sex reveal party

Derek lifting your bump (like the TikTok trends)

When you're nearing your due date

Derek loves to see you waddle

The song that plays on your first dance, on your wedding day

Derek teaches his son to talk to his unborn sister

Pregnancy pillow and jealous Derek

Video of Little Bug meeting Baby Bug for the first time (submitted by the lovely @thisgirlisonfayeeer ❤️)

Derek gets jealous of not having bug-related nickname (or, your daughter's first word)

This series is completed. Requests are open for blurbs/headcanons/etc. You can send me an ask for the requests or even if you just want to gush about the fic. Thank you for reading!

[blueathn]

Obligatory coffee shop au art

Close-ups and ramblings under the cut because I spent waaay too long on this

Welcome to my brain soup.

Disclaimer, I didn’t really plan this piece and just kept adding concepts as I went, so it’s kind of all over the place. It’s more a big patchwork of dumb ideas I got excited over, rather than a well thought-out drawing, but I like it as it is! It feels like my brain did when I was reading htn :]

1. The whole concept behind this is just "Vintage coffee ad but make it the griddlehark coffee shop au". I was aiming for cheerful but also not quite right, in a very stock photo kind of way if that makes sense. Gideon is smiling but she is not a willing participant in this. Also that coffee is cold.

I - very predictably - took inspiration from Leyendecker’s work, since his ads and posters are the first that come to my mind when I think "vintage ad", and also because I do feel like his painting technique is close to how I naturally paint. This is not meant to be a study of his style tho, I didn’t try to break it down on more than a very superficial level.

2. 3. Nothing special to say, just Gideon’s arms (her perfect biceps are hidden from view lest they cause a riot in the cafeteria). Also arm hair. I feel like it’s becoming a recurring feature in my art lol

4. I debated whether or not to add a foam skull on the coffee then ultimately decided against it. That’s one skull too many, and honestly Gideon neither has the skill nor the patience to attempt one. Let’s be real, if they let her have access to the pitcher she’d make tits. So here is your tits-free coffee, courtesy of the Cohort photoshop editors.

5. Isaac, sporting the Fourth’s blue not only in dress but also in his questionnable choice of eye makeup. They have matching haircut only so Jeanne can showcase how much better it looks on her.

6. This is where I finally have something clever-ish to say. Thoughts ! I have them ! Sometimes. So. Harrow. You can’t see it but she has a nose piercing as well - this is relevant to spreading my agenda that Harrow is full of bone (piercings, that is). Sue me, I forgot that they let her keep her face paint in this scene. Onto the actual thought process.

This is where Abigail interrupts the scene, before Harrow can catch a glimpse of barista!Gideon. Her interruption is shown by the unfinished look of this panel : the sketch lines peeking through (in a reddish hue, to mimic sanguine, the red chalk that artists used to draw sketches and studies - and also because the contrast of the colors makes it pop better against her skin) + the rendering is messier from the neck and down.

Abigail is blocking half of Harrow from view - I wanted to have her hide Harrow’s eyes and thus line of sight entirely, but I feared Harrow wouldn’t be as recognizable with more than half her face hidden, frowny eyebrows and all.

Abigail herself is meant to look out of place here, without taking too much attention away from Gideon. I drew her in a much simpler style, using a more monochromatic palette and cell shading, to contrast against the rest of the gang, where I used a lot more color variation and a more detailed & textured painting style.

That’s about all I have on this, if you got this far thank you! Your support is much appreciated. If you liked this drawing I’d be overjoyed if you reblogged it and left your thoughts in the tags/notes! I’m always happy when I read them, even just a "#nice" makes my day.