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sapphosclown · 2 years ago

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It’s How Guys Talk

Cynthia is a virgin and a lesbian and lives in the 1950s. For better or worse, she decides Gil is her best bet for advice.

aka cynthia goes to big brother gil for a sex talk

This is not smut, they are simply talking about their feelings. Also Cynthia and Lydia are out to their inner circles.

———

Things were going good. Too good. Good enough that Cynthia was starting to understand that feeling Jane had talked about, waiting for a bomb to drop.

It’s been easier than she imagined, being with Lydia. During rehearsals they’d find ways to hold hands without making a scene about it, Floyd and Arthur would help hide it as well. Not that they thought the rest of the thespians would care, but they were afraid of chatter.

They’d go to the drive in, they’d meet up on the concessions roof and “watch” the movie from there. It’s surprisingly easy access and also weirdly private. They’d hangout on weekends. Sometimes weeknights when Cynthia’s dad gets stuck at the shop and Lydia’s parents think they have homework or rehearsing to do.

Getting alone time, weirdly, was not the problem.

It was easy being around Lydia. She laughed at her jokes, when she didn’t laugh she’s roll her eyes and Cynthia would bug her until she finally gave in and laughed at the dumb joke. Lydia would help Cynthia with her english homework, Cynthia would run lines with Lydia.

They would tell stories, secrets. Tell each other about their pasts. One night at the drive in, the movie playing was one Cynthia’s mom had liked. Lydia saw she had been acting weird about it, and to both their surprise Cynthia had opened up about it. Cynthia really hates vulnerability, but with Lydia, it wasn’t so scary.

So simply being with each other, also not the problem.

Eventually, all that other stuff ends up the same way. If Lydia is doing her homework, she’s not giving Cynthia attention. So, Cynthia will, very maturely, steal something from Lydia. Which, she will not return until she receives a kiss. And who’s Lydia to say no, she needs her pencils after all.

Rehearsing is always easier when fully committed as they both know, so they’re sure not to skip over any kisses. And sometimes they forget to go back to the play. Most of the time.

Cynthia could kiss Lydia forever, whenever. She’s got her trapped under a spell and she doesn’t even care. She’s a lovesick puppy and that’s fine by her.

So kissing, in itself, is not the problem.

No, the problem is that kissing is so good, and it has recently become… intense. Their contact becoming closer, their hands wandering further, and their layers getting less and less. And it’s all so good.

But Cynthia always stops.

She doesn’t want to. She really, really doesn’t want to. But eventually the intensity becomes overwhelming and she just, full stops. She gets lost after some point and doesn’t want to mess anything up. So Lydia goes home, and Cynthia lays in her bed kicking herself.

Lydia is always nice about it, but Cynthia can’t help but feel like she’s disappointing her. If she’s honest, she’s disappointing herself.

She doesn’t want to mess it up. It’s not like they give much sex ed about straight relationships, and there’s definitely nothing to help out a gay virgin. At least straight people have something to work with to figure it all out. For her, it felt hopeless.

But she had to do something, she was starting to go a little crazy. So, she called the only person she could think of.

***

“I want to have sex.”

“Jesus, Cynthia, my ears.” Gil cringed from behind the wheel of his car. Cynthia had called him up out of nowhere and said it was urgent. So, he got there as quick as he could. However, those were not the first words he wanted to hear when she hopped into the passenger seat.

“No, Gil, seriously, I need your help.”

“I’m not having sex with you Cynthia.”

“Ew, gross! Not with you, dumbass.” Cynthia hit him in the arm. “With Lydia. Obviously.”

“Okay? Then do it I don’t know what you want from me.” Gil held his arm where she had punched him and he watched her expression soften.

“It’s not that easy.” She said as she sat back in the seat and crossed her arms.

“What do you mean?” He shifted to face her more. She just looked out the windows for a second.

“You know what, this was stupid. I’m sorry—” She opened the door and started to leave but Gil pulled her back inside.

“Hey, kid, look I’m sorry, ok? What’s up, you can talk to me.”

Cynthia looked at him and sighed. She could tell her face was starting to get red but she hoped he would assume it’s from the heat.

“Things with Lydia have been good, great even. It’s just… Things have been starting to feel more… Intense. And it’s a good intense, don’t get me wrong,” They both chuckled. “But I feel like we’re wanting to go further but I just don’t know… how.”

Gil was looking at her and any awkwardness he was feeling he was hiding very well, which Cynthia appreciated because she knew she was not doing so herself.

“Cynth, I wanna help you, I do, but it’s different for you.”

“I know!” She covered her face with her hands. “I know that. And I know I tease but you know more about handling women than I do. You’re my best bet right now.”

He chewed the inside of his cheek as he thought it over. “Okay. How far have you gotten.”

Cynthia glanced at him and then shy’d back to the window. “Second.” She said, trying to suppress a smile. Gil chuckled and ruffled her hair.

“Not bad kid, not bad.”

She shooed him off of her and started fixing her bangs. “Yeah yeah, but what do we do after?”

“Well, you’ve got to keep it casual. You can’t put too much expectation into it or else it’s gonna fall flat. And you’ve got to make sure she’s okay with everything going forward. Hey,” He looked Cynthia in the eyes. “I’m serious about that. You make sure you’re both comfortable and if not you stop. You understand?” He pointed at her, she nodded. “Out loud.”

“I understand.”

“Okay. From there, you might not like this answer but, you’ve really just got to feel it out.” Cynthia groaned. “I know, but your body will know what it wants, and if you’re talking to each other, you’ll know what she wants.”

Cynthia sat with that idea for a minute. She knew she wanted more. She could imagine what that might entail, but there were so many what if’s, so many unknowns. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to risk it.

“What if I do it wrong.” She says quietly.

“I’m not gonna lie to you kid, you might.” He sighs. “You’ll probably be a little nervous, it will more likely than not be awkward,”

“You’re not building my confidence.”

“But. You guys have been together for long enough now, all of that is part of the magic. You mess up and then you guys laugh it off and try again. And, you can change your mind and stop at any point. It feels like a big deal, and I’m not saying it’s not, but don’t stress about it.”

Cynthia breathed out a laugh. “Thanks Gilliam.” She punched him in the arm again, playful this time.

“Don’t sweat it. It’s what guys do.”

She smiled at that. “Any other tips and tricks?”

Gil pondered for a moment. “A little teasing never hurts.” He says looking out at the road, a smirk forming. Cynthia nodded, trying to hide the awkwardness she’s feeling. He continued, “And you know… foreplay is—“

“Ew, gross, never mind don’t tell me I don’t wanna know.” She shut down and refused to look at him.

“I would say use protection but I don’t really know how you’d,”

“Ugh, Gil I said gross.” Cynthia shuddered as she opened the car door and got out.

“You’re welcome!” Gil shouted as she left, chuckling to himself.

***

Cynthia’s dad is working late. She knows he won’t be home for a while. So, she invites Lydia over. Currently, they’re both in her room. This is cool. Cool cool cool.

“So, what are your plans for the—“ Lydia starts but is quickly cut off my Cynthia practically pouncing on her and starting a passionate kiss. They eventually break apart and Lydia mutters quickly, “I can get on board with this.” They both chuckle and return back to each other.

It was heated and a little sloppy and desperate and fun, god was it fun. Cynthia could feel all her thoughts and anxieties welling in her head but she suppressed them as far as she could and just kept kissing and kissing and kissing.

She eventually found the courage to move her kisses from Lydia’s lips down to her jaw, then her neck, then her collarbone.

“Cynthia?” She heard Lydia’s voice but it sounded far away. “Hey, Cynth,” She felt Lydia’s hands gently pulling her face back to eye level.

“Why’d you stop? Did I do something wrong?” Cynthia asked.

“No, no not at all you were… It was very nice.” She giggled. “I just, wanted to check on you.” She said it calmly. A glint in her eye telling Cynthia she knows something.

“Yeah, no yeah I’m good I’m ready to go if you are.” She leaned in for another kiss but Lydia pulled back.

“Cyn.” She stroked her cheekbone with her thumb. “Talk to me.”

Cynthia looked at her girlfriend and sighed as she rolled off to the side of her and sat criss-crossed on her bed.

“Things have been going so good. I really really like being with you in ways I can’t even explain with words. And I really like kissing you. Like, so much.” Lydia smiled at that. “I just, when things start to get heated… I don’t know I panic. It’s not that I don’t want to do other things with you obviously, it’s just… scary.” Cynthia’s voice was small, she kept her gaze focused on the piece of her comforter she was picking at.

She watched as Lydia’s hand took her fidgety one and looked up to meet her eyes. “It’s scary for me too.” She said.

“It is?” Cynthia breathed.

“Yes! It’s scary to be intimate like that, and I’ve never done it before with anyone, so I don’t know what I’m doing either.”

“Oh my god.” Cynthia let out a sigh and rested her head on Lydia’s shoulder as the other girl laughed. “I was so worried I’d mess something up and you’d think I was terrible at sex and break up with me.”

“I would never.” Lydia chuckled. Cynthia giggled along side her.

They sat like that for a moment. Letting the comfortable silence wash over them as Cynthia embraced the comfort of the crook of Lydia’s neck. It was nice. She liked this.

“Hey,” Lydia broke their silence and turned her head to Cynthia, using her finger to gently guide her face up from her shoulder. “Let’s take it slow, alright? We’re not in a rush. Whatever happens, happens. Okay?”

Cynthia nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

They both smiled into another kiss. This one soft and tender. A signature to the deal they’ve just made. Sweet.

Lydia pulled away first, leaving Cynthia chasing after her. “Why don’t we watch TV.” Lydia whispered, scanning Cynthia’s face before getting up from the bed and heading to the living room. Cynthia watched in awe after her girlfriend as she walked away. Turns out Gil was right, a little teasing didn’t hurt.

———

a/n: Gil and Cynthia friendship is actually so important to me they are so siblings. Our sweet thesbians don’t know a thing about sex but I’m sure they figure it out one day, not today though. They do make out practically the entire time they’re watching tv though. Cynthia does stop to sing along to the Ipana commercial and Lydia calls her dumb but let’s her finish.

ps if you read all the way through this you should check out this edit i made of them bc i really like it and would like if it got some more love that’s all thank you for reading <3

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