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#rebeccas-song-prompts
the-backwards-eel · 2 years
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Idk why but ive gotten back into writing song parodies recently so i decided to write a parody of ‘love like you’ by rebecca sugar but i added a bit of salt to it
If you could begin to see
The reasons why you doubted me
You could do about anything
You could even learn how to love
When I see the way you act
When you look taken aback
I could do about anything
I could see what it’s like for you
I always thought I might be bad
Now I'm sure that it's true
But I look so good
When I’m right next to you
Watch you sink low
Oh how I loathe you
I wish that I knew
What makes you think you’re so special
If I could begin to do
Something that would ruin you
I would do about everything
Maybe then you’d learn how to love
When I see the way you look
Shaken by how much I took
I could do about anything
I could do what you did to me to you
Do like you
Do what you do
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notmorbid · 5 months
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greta & valdin.
dialogue prompts from greta & valdin by rebecca k. reilly.
you can fuck right off.
i don't like reading about people being in love with each other.
maybe, in retrospect, that should have been a red flag.
no one wants to go to work. you just have to.
sometimes i think i can gain control by doing everything right.
no one wants to hear your sob story.
i better now that you're here.
what are you doing here? has something terrible happened?
you'd hate it if i died.
i want to live vicariously through your drama.
sorry you had to come and rescue me.
i know it's weird. it's best not to think about it much.
thank you for being my friend. even when i was terrible.
there are pockets of time where nobody likes to talk about what happened.
i'm good now. better than i've ever been.
have you always been like this?
do you ever feel like you've done wrong by your kids?
you know who you look like?
my only advice is to marry rich and don't get trapped in a shithole.
what did you do while i was gone?
what did you do while you were away?
now i just live my life and try not to die. people seem amused enough.
i don't hate you. i'm in love with you.
well, it's my story. you asked for it.
you're never embarrassed.
i'm going to be focused on my career. like a woman in a 1990s movie.
would you like to hear my speech? i think i still remember it.
we're all strange, emotional people here.
you don't want any weed, do you?
i know you only listen to sad men prancing around in singlets.
being gay used to be fun. and illegal. and dangerous.
did you ever have a dream of what your life would turn out like?
your generation knows better than to have dreams.
have you been in love before?
some things we talk about all the time, and other things we don't talk about it at all.
i don't like to publicly announce my feelings.
thank you for talking to me.
are your parents together? what's your mom like?
what's your favorite ____ song?
could you stop sassing me for a second and listen to my story?
my vibe hasn't matched anyone else's all day.
you never seem nervous about anything.
everyone should be allowed to have secrets.
what was it like meeting my parents?
i have no idea what you like anymore.
you've become a sad portrait of masculinity.
you should write a book about flirting.
i would have loved you, anyway.
how much does love really matter in this economy?
i feel very far away from everything.
you have no idea how much people love you.
i shouldn't have thought those things about you.
people have all sorts of different reactions to their circumstances.
since when do you ever tell anyone how you really feel?
i just want to be happy. maybe see some things i haven't seen before.
you can talk to me about anything, any time. i won't judge you.
sometimes things happen and you just have to go with them.
do you think i'd be a good parent?
i have to tell you something before anyone else does.
sometimes you don't have to tell people everything. you just have to trust them.
sometimes people give me too much leeway just because they're glad i'm not dead.
what's going on? do i need to call an underhanded coroner?
i just freaked out and started baking.
my life changed when i met you.
it's hard to do shots from a wine glass, it turns out.
how can you really know what anyone else is thinking?
when you love someone, you have to trust them.
there's something in our line of sight that we shouldn't be privy to.
i'm sorry i told you you're shit at driving.
i would always rather know than have you spare my feelings, even when it's hard.
you're not the bad person you think you are.
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ravenekrops · 4 months
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(tagged by @pipcoded)
list 5 songs you've been listening to recently
the way i understood this prompt is to list songs you've been listening to repeatedly lately, not just the last 5 songs you've listened to (because if i did that i'd just list the PMD EoS OST lol)
in no particular order:
Rainbow Road (Final Lap) (In-Game Version) - Mario Kart DS
Skies Forever Blue/Toby Fox & Itoki Hana
Replay (2019): A Metal Tribute to the History of Video Games
Love Like You (feat. Rebecca Sugar) (End Credits)
Waters of Megalovania (ORIGINAL)
tagging: @thicc-pirate, @l-i-n-u-s-k-a, @featheredcritter, @kaddppa, @rowan-e-ravenwood, @pitiable-arisen and anyone else who feels like it!
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writingforstraykids · 6 months
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Zehina & Nat ramble - Innie 1🖤
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Jeongin may be the maknae of the group, but that doesn’t stop him from pampering you, the love of his life. He would plan the cutest dates for you two, acting all casual, as if he didn’t stay up all night looking at websites for the best dating spots nearby. Just don’t call him out on it, he’ll deny it until the very end, taking this fact to the grave with himself. Even if you get a sneaky picture from one of the other boys of his hunched over form, determination glinting in his tired eyes as he is scrolling on his laptop, notepad in his other hand. Just don’t, otherwise you might have a dead baby bread on your hands, flushed skin and all.
Whenever you catch him planning out another date, he’ll flash you that bright, shy smile that makes your heart flutter every time. He quickly changes the subject, asking about your day and telling you about his. The effort he puts into making every moment special for you, picking the perfect cafe that plays your favorite songs or surprising you with midnight trips to the beach, only shows how deeply he cares. He usually tries to play it all down, pretending it doesn’t mean much, but you know how much thought he put into every little detail, and you would never cherish it any less.
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I made peace with Roy x Keeley getting back together for now and until we find out next episode, I’ll live with the headcanon that Keeley now got a package deal, since Roy simple doesn’t know how to function anymore when Jamie’s not around (who is not pulling back or regressing about the news, but quite chill, since all he wants is for his beloveds to be happy), so that Jamie is there every day for breakfast, almost every evening for dinner (unless it is a yoga night) and Roy literally talks about nothing else in the rare occasions Jamie is not with them, prompting Keeley to go one day
“Roy, we have something to talk about, it is about … Jamie.”
“OMG, do you want to break up with me to be with Jamie? Totally get that, he’s so fit and kind and fun, like the joke he told me yesterday, I can’t deliver it like him, but it was great, god I’m still laughing just thinking about the face he made *giggle* And he is so considerate and thoughtful, like he helped Phoebe write a song about me for music class. Here, look, I’ve got a video of him singing it. He really looks like a Disney prince in it, doesn’t he?”
“… … Roy, no, I don’t want to break up … Ugh, nevermind.”
And then Keeley asks during girl talk “I know I must sound like Jane, but do you think Roy and Jamie are shagging?”
Rebecca: “What? No!”
Trent (now official part of girl talk): “Hate to break it, but maybe they should be. … Don’t look at me like this, I’m just saying this as a man who came out as gay in his fourties after being married to a woman for years and having a daughter.”
Ted: “Wait, you’re gay?”
Everyone: “…”
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rosietrace · 4 months
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「 Target Acquired 」 • Mitch & Camilla | @/authoruio ✧
↳ “‘Cause here isn't where I wanna be.” | R U Mine?, The Arctic Monkeys
「 Gentle Sinner 」 • Noriko & Victoria | @/terrovaniadorm / @/hallowed-delights
↳ “Good God, let me give you my life.” | Take me to Church, Hozier
↳ Slight follow-up to 「 Target Acquired 」
「 Three Roses 」 • Maria & Lance | @/jasdiary
↳ “Nothing in the world is mine for free, but…” | My love mine all mine, Mitski
「 Perfectionist 」 • Lucero & Elaine | @/revivemyreverie / @/revollutionary
↳ “Don’t go wasting your emotions…” | Lay all Your love on Me, ABBA
「 Mystery Maiden 」 • Ernest & Lizzie | @/starry-night-rose
↳ “I sense there's something in the wind…” | Sally's song, The Nightmare before Christmas
「 Jewel 」 • Davis & Ellis | @/starry-night-rose
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chaifootsteps · 10 months
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the music masterclass is so insane to me... aren't musical songs meant to be tied in to the plot? Wouldn't showing a season 3 song while half way through season 2 (and season 2 is going to go a whole extra year if sinmas is on Christmas) be a MASSIVE spoiler? He'd have been better off recording himself making a song and waiting til it was released and saying "this is how I made it!" or tracing his steps with the making of a released song but no one is joining that 7 hour, $99 class to learn how to write music, they just want the exclusive hb sneak peek and he knows it.
the main thing I'm getting from this is Viv gives him a small prompt like 'this ep is an ep about striker and I want a village mariachi band singing about how great he is like his personal bards' and thats ALL HE GETS and that's part of the musical failings of hb. The songs can never support or foreshadow plot because the song writer is not treated like a fellow writer who is brought into the loop on where the story is going and thats how you get songs like 'you will be OK' that get all the base details wrong about stolas.
In other series like Rebecca sugar series, she writes thr songs so they seamlessly integrate into her story and are continuations of the plot but in musical form. The sound design in TADC is unreal in backing the flow of the episode because goose was involved in both.
Even centaurword which I think will be Hazbin's closest contemporary (several songs an episode, only 18 episodes to work with), works because the songs are made to grow through the series along with the plot (each character has a song that transforms with several refrains that were obviously all planned from the start to demonstrate their personal journey/character arc) the utilization of seemingly nonsense songs that you realize foreshadowed EVERYTHING down the road when you have all the info is genius.
One more example is worthikids and big top burger (even though its not a musical) The first song literally tells you one character's entire backstory that gets revealed at the end of season 2 in the most unexpected of ways and you're left sitting their slack jawed thinking 'It was all connected!!!'
The fact that Sam can share his complete prompt from Vivzie and music making process for an episode an entire season away is a RED FLAG because it means he's not writing with the plot in mind (and if he is it's a terrible class because he has to keep so many of the details informing his decisions secret)
It also once again confirms to us he's full of sh*t when he goes on his soapbox and preaches to us about how off base our hh production speculations are because he knows almost as little as us and is a glorified fansong writer who can only work off the little crumbs Viv leaves for him and his general impression of the 'vibes of characters' (which is not his fault or a dismissal of his talents but rather, a further critique on how Viv sets her whole cast up to fail with disorganization and making up the story on the fly)
Well said. It's a colossal joke and a huge red flag, but we're talking about Viv stans, who would probably claim that "red flags are bad" is a statement that's been debunked.
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ozarkthedog · 1 year
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Thank you for supporting my writing and indulging in fantasizes with me over the years. I throughly enjoy whoring with each and every one of you! 💙
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❦ Please reblog to spread the fun! 💃
❦ Characters accepted: joel miller · frankie morales · tim rockford · din djarin · mr. ben · tommy miller · marc spector · layla el-faouly · poe dameron · santi garcia · ted lasso · roy kent · jamie tartt · rebecca welton · dani miranda
❦ send asks with the corresponding emoji and all details!
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📷 - send a character + a concept and I’ll respond with a moodboard & drabble.
🎵 - send any Florence + the Machine song and I’ll write a drabble about whichever character comes to mind.
📝 - send a number from this prompt list + character and I’ll write a drabble.
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👀 - WYR, FMKiss, This or That, Cast My Mutuals, etc.
💌 - any questions you’d like me to answer!
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I’ll add all fics I write for the celebration to this post. 💙
Boss!Rebecca Welton x PA Fem!Reader
Marc Spector Drabble
DILF!Joel Miller
Mr. Ben spanks you
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hidingoutbackstage · 1 year
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Uhh I’m in a creative block so I can’t give you a specific prompt per se, but something Chamberfield 👀 for love and yuri?
Hell yeah peace love and yuri (putting beneath a cut so as not to clog anyone’s dash but yuri should NEVER be hidden <3 so pls read)
Claire was a special kind of homesick. The kind where she was sitting here, in her two bedroom apartment, at the table eating cereal she’d gotten from the grocery store down the street, while wearing cozy pajamas. In all perspectives, she couldn’t be more home. And yet here she was, missing home desperately, because home wasn’t the two wooden chairs where one slightly rocks and the other creaks when sat on, home wasn’t the couch from a a garage sale with a few cigarette burns and various stains, home wasn’t the nightlight in her bedroom that she’d had since she was a child to keep her from waking up terrified and screaming in the dark.
Home was a person, a person who was currently halfway around the world, a person who Claire could feel as she wore said person’s cozy sweatshirt, as she gazed happily at a framed photo of the two of them on the windowsill, as her sloppy handwritten grocery list hung from the fridge with a heart shaped magnet. Despite the lingering feeling of her presence, Rebecca, Claire’s home, was not here, and Claire was getting sick with yearning.
Claire sighed, finally picking up her phone. She told herself she wouldn’t do this today, but to hell with it. She was missing her girlfriend more and more by the day, and she was growing sick of wanting. She flipped open her phone and went into her contacts. To hell with international cell phone charges too.
Of course Becky picked up, because it was Claire who was calling her. Claire half-expected her significant other to lecture her first about being unable to go a day without talking to her, but that never came. She simply answered the phone with a smile apparent in her voice. She called Claire “darling” as she always did, in that sing-song way she was so fond of that made Claire’s heart melt a little bit.
Bashfully, as if they were teenagers, Claire admitted to Becky why she had called. It was probably a given to both women, but Becky “awww”ed like it was the first time she’d heard Claire say the words “I miss you.”
They made idle chit chat. How was Philosophy University? It was good. How was work at home? It was boring. Have you heard from Chris lately? No, have you? No. Watch anything good recently? Not really, you? Not really. Tried out a new recipe for eggs. Oh how was it? I think I added too much oregano. Oh well, maybe next time. Maybe I’ll make it for you. Sounds perfect.
“I really miss you,” Claire blurted out. She dropped her spoon in her mostly-empty bowl of cereal, making a satisfying clang as it fell.
“I really miss you too,” Rebecca said automatically. “I wish I didn’t have to be out here so long, but-”
“Becky, you don’t have to explain anything. It’s work, I get it,” Claire said with a huff. “I just wish work didn’t separate you from me for so long.”
“Well, that’s what these phone calls are for, isn’t it?” She was trying to be gentle, Claire could tell.
“I know, I know,” Claire groaned. “Gd, I’m so clingy. I don’t know how you aren’t sick of me.”
Rebecca just laughed. “Darling, you know I could never get sick of you.” She made a little kiss noise through the phone. “I love you too much.”
They’d been saying those words for years, but sometimes they’d catch Claire off guard and fill her with youthful giddiness. “Yeah, I know.”
“You should distract yourself more when I’m not there.” Ah, Becky. Always a problem-solver. “Go out and do stuff with your other friends.”
Claire snorted. “What other friends? The ones that are as busy as we are?”
“Work friends, then.”
“Is this your polite way of telling me to fuck off and stop calling you, my dear?” Claire teased. Rebecca scoffed.
“I’m trying to help my lovely wife come up with some things to do in her spare time,” Rebecca said monotonously, clearly not even realizing her verbal blunder. Claire did, though, and straightened up to attention.
“Wife?” she blurted out. Rebecca was silent for a minute. “Hun?”
“…Listen,” Rebecca started, and Claire just burst out laughing.
“Oh, hun, you can’t just call me that and expect me to stop missing you!”
“I think of you like that sometimes, okay? We live together, we’ve been dating for a while, I…some of my students have asked if I have a boyfriend, and…”
“Becky, you are so cute,” Claire teased. “It’s fine. That was adorable.”
Rebecca sighed. “Can I hang up now or will you hate me forever? I’m supposed to be meeting with the university director in a few.”
Claire snickered. “Go on, my wife, go do your school things. I’ll just be here thinking about it for the rest of the day.”
Rebecca sputtered, and Claire could picture the woman’s cute blushing face. “I love you. Bye.”
“Bye, my wife!” Claire called giddily as she hung up.
The sharp pang of homesickness in Claire’s heart had faded, replaced by the soft, warm embrace of love.
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suseagull04 · 2 months
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⛺ & Ted Lasso please, I'm thinking a team bonding trip? 🤭
My second for this prompt- thanks, it was fun that it was two different fandoms!
“All right, fellas. Just like football, camping is all about teamwork. Who wants to help me pitch the tent?”
There was a lot of grumbling (not from Sam, of course, he was always a team player), but  begrudgingly, they did it. 
“We're not going to be sitting around a campfire eating some American dessert and singing ‘Kumbaya,’ are we? Because I'm not going to do that, and I'm sure none of the team will either.”
“Don't worry, Roy, I'm not gonna make y’all do somethin’ you don't wanna do. There'll be no campfire songs here, although I do love a good round of ‘Camptown Races’ myself.” Ted pulled out food from the coolers he had packed. “But ya can't go camping without s’mores. So indulge me and take a bite. I promise you won't regret it.”
Sure enough, five minutes later, moans of appreciation were heard all around the campfire. Ted couldn't help grinning as he sat beside Rebecca on a log. Nothing was better than a nice, gooey s'more (except barbecue, of course).
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daydreamgoddess14 · 1 year
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I'm off on my holidays this afternoon! 🥳
(two kids under 6 in a caravan in Wales while it rains all week.... excellent! 🙄)
But fear not! I still have fics coming up! I'm working on the following:
Tedbecca Prompt Party fics
with posting dates 🙌
12th Aug - Serenade
13th Aug - Making Prog-mess
14th Aug - So Long... As You Love Me?
15th Aug - Matchy-Matchy
16th Aug - Not A Couple (no, really!)
18th Aug - The Name's Welton, Rebecca Welton
19th Aug - Sing Your Own Kind of Song
20th Aug - Through the Crack of the Door
Roy Kent
Currently untitled smutty one-shot coming up in the next couple of days 🥵
Maybe a little one-shot featuring the gaggle from Support System later in the week... 👀
My inbox is open, so anything you fancy drop me a note! 💜
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jamiesfootball · 1 year
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for the ask game thing, J, A, M, I, E, S, F, O, T, B, L, because i'm cheeky
You are darling
J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)
Most things my god. Critical Role. The Magnus Archive. Riverdale. Welcome to Night Vale. Bridgerton. Six of Crows. The Owl House. I could go on.
A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.
Jamie Tartt / general happiness. If there is a person who kind of breathed on him nice one time, I want to hear about it. Jamie and the rest of the team I am particularly interested in, because while Ted Lasso as a whole is a good show, it did not often give us ensemble-hangs-out plotlines, and I love a good ensemble.
M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.
Higgins!
I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?
MCU. After a while I got tired of seeing the characters I liked from the comics getting watered down, and it drove me crazy to see how much fandom liked the watered down versions.
E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?
It's probably the cat thing, isn't it? Though I'm quite proud of my Richmond injury list
S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)
I just posted a very long one about Jamie and Isaac, but the long and short of it is that they send each other selfies of their outfits for the day every morning.
F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?
The first fandom I was in was Dragon Ball Z. As I am still ingesting fan content for it, I would say I am still in the fandom. So that's about 25 years.
O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?
This was vaguely rigged because of how often I've been listening to my character playlists. The song that came on is 'Passing through a Screen Door' by The Wonder Years, Little Kruta. It's not only from my Jamie Tartt playlist, but some of the lyrics are chapter titles in one of my fics.
T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 
Answered the big one already, but for a minor stupid headcanon that I'll put up in a place of prominence: after Wembley, Higgins was informed of what happened. He was distraught for the role he unknowingly played. He delicately put word to security to let him know if any complaints were filed or needed to be filed to keep Jamie's dad off the premises. And when no complaints were filed...
...look, he's a middle manager at heart. He's used to doing what needs done without people telling him to do it or even knowing he took care of it. Unbeknownst to anyone outside of the Directors of Beboperations (plus a few favors called in),Jamie's dad is banned from a number of stadiums across the country (12 and counting).
B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.
Richard and Jan Maas. They're asshole 4 asshole. I get it.
L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)
For someone whose purpose is narrative villain, I find the character of Rupert interesting. He's charming, he's determined, he's relentless, he's socially gifted - all positive traits that double as flaws. You see why Rebecca fell for him as easily as you see why she loathes him.
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goneadrift · 1 year
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thanks for the tag @distortedclouds!
Current time: 20:24 Current mood: mostly numb; at least less anxious than yesterday. Current activity: eating snacks. Thinking about: how to spend this evening...  Current favorite song: My Soul's Demise by Blackbriar Currently reading: Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo; i swear, Kim, i'm trying 🧡 Currently watching: nothing besides occasional play-throughs on youtube 🥺 tried to start Business Proposal. Current favorite characters: Rebecca Catalina, Jean Havoc, Riza Hawkeye, Matthias Helvar, Nina Zenik, Roy Mustang, Annie Leonhart, Armin Arlert. Current wips: the ones i actually worked on recently: a prompt for Valerian and Laureline, a project for Six of Crows, other parts of "home is where your teeth sink, love" for Havolina.
tagging @klainelynch @musing-and-music @niconiconina @scienceoftheidiot if you want to 😊
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chipistrate · 11 months
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could you do the "send a character" prompt for cassidy?
OHHHH FUCK YEAH I CAN
Cassidy:
favorite thing about them They're so determined to take down Afton they will do anything to kill that bitch, including not moving on with their friends and instead creating this elaborate hell for him to rot in for eternity and they made it such a fun little game (for them, not William) like if they're gonna be trapped here for eternity with William then they might as well have fun with it. Also they love their friends very very much to the point they'll do anything to protect them even if it ends up hurting them (they don't know it ends up hurting them, they're a bit oblivious when it comes to emotions and really think they're just helping)
least favorite thing about them Nothing they're amazing<3 (though if we're talking personal interps then probably how they're persistent to a fault and end up being so focused on taking down Afton, that they forget to think about their friends like girly go to therapy or smthn)(idk if this counts as a "least favorite" thing rather than just a character flaw cause I actually really like the flaw but uhhh I don't have anything bad to say about them lmao)
favorite line "I will never let you leave, I will never let you rest." It's just iconic<3
brOTP Them and Evan, Cassidy totally sees him as a little brother<3
OTP Again, if this can be platonic then I'd say Charlie and Cassidy- also Cassidy and Susie<3 Their friendship is really sweet<33
nOTP I'm not against any Cassidy ships but I'm also not for any Cassidy ships? I don't really know what pairings there are, I don't see a lot of shipping between the dead kids. But I'm not really interested in any of them cause I think all of them are just friends, soo,,,, eeeevery Cassidy ship? Ig?
random headcanon(s) They're Filipino and also Cassie's aunt, their last name is Catapang, their older brother was the bonnie mask kid, they use all pronouns, them Charlie and Evan were a little trio before they died, they were/are friends with all the MCI, Susie was Cassidy's first friend, they met Charlie and Evan by stepping in and protecting Evan when Michael was bullying him, they've gotten into multiple fist fights with Michael, they used to be really calm/neutral most of the time but were kinda known as "that one kid you don't want to mess with" just cause they have resting bitch face and a mean glare, they will bite if provoked. I probably have more but those were the ones I could think of off the top of my head
unpopular opinion Uhhhm,,, does them being the Vengeful Spirit count? I see a lot of people on Tumblr agree they're the UCN spirit, but everywhere else I go it's like a constant debate so I genuinely don't know if them being the UCN spirit is an unpopular opinion now or not, lmao
song i associate with them PQ Cassidy: Never Ending by Chai Normal Cassidy: Kleptomaniacrow by Madilyn Mei, Frustration Tears from Centaur World, and Love Like You by Rebecca Sugar
favorite picture of them
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We don't have a lot of pics of them, but this one is really sweet<3
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readmorepoets · 2 years
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1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 8 ?? <33
thank you kenna for asking i love you <3 please tell me any books you're interested in reading as well
1. What are 2-5 already published fiction books you think you want to read in 2023?
bestiary by k ming chang because i was supposed to read it before 2022 ended. i'll list some that intimidate me most: rebecca, wuthering heights, p&p, go tell it on the mountain. DO NOT speak to me about whale weekly i'm so annoyed by how behind i am i'm two seconds away from giving up
2. What are 2-5 already published nonfiction books you think you want to read in 2023?
underland by robert mcfarlane 2023 is your year. h is for hawk by helen mcdonald 2023 is your year. women race & class 2023 is your year. why be happy when you could be normal 2023 is your year. they can't kill us until they kill us 2023 is your year.
3. Any poetry on your TBR? yes all the poetry i couldn’t get to this year: tommy pico (feed), donika kelly (bestiary), louise gluck (1962-2020), anne carson (autobiography of red), ocean vuong (time is a mother). it would be cool to attempt homer?
5. What 2023 new releases are you most looking forward to?
ALECTO THE NINTH OCTOBER 10TH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (edit: NOT confirmed date but goodreads has it like that!) a day of fallen night by samantha shannon, chlorine by jade song, HOPEFULLY my favorite thing is monsters pt 2 by emil ferris and death valley by melissa broder. jenny odell has a new book coming but i'm afraid </3
6. Do you have any conceptual reading goals? E.g., I plan to read books on food history.
mostly i want to read the books that i've been meaning to read for years and years. even though i know i'm not gonna stick to it 100% i've got a list of priority books and a lot of them i've been wanting to read for at least 5 years or even more. i really wanna give all of those books a chance... this is a cop-out answer to a good question. i feel like i'm missing out on a lot! i want to strengthen my foundations be it in fiction or theory. and foundations usually come from older texts so that’s where i’m kinda directing myself. like i have a book entirely about genetics on the list cause that’s the basis for everything right and that's what i want to do for all of my interests read like, texts that will build me foundations for the rest
8. Are there any reading challenges you want to try? have not found a challenge where i like all the prompts (and if i'm doing a challenge i would like to do all the prompts RIGHT) so i had sketched out one of my own where i mixed and matched mostly from the popsugar challenge and ended with like 35 prompts but i'm not sure if i'll stick to it!
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believemetheodore · 2 years
Text
Where she stood, she stood tall
Ted Lasso x Rebecca Welton
Rebecca's adventures in healing. Or 3 times they hugged, and one time they kissed. (title from the song Slow It Down by The Lumineers)
Warnings: Rupert, themes of healing from psychological abuse, let me know if there's anything else you want me to add
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He hugs her outside the gala. 
She wonders if he can hear her heartbeat as he crushes her against his chest, it pounds in her ribcage, and her blood rushes in her ears. 
She remembers, as a child, pressing her ear to empty shells at the beach, the sound of the ocean surging within them. Somehow, learning that the sound was, in fact, nothing more than the amplified echo of her own pulse never made it any less magical or comforting. It was still a confirmation of life, a simple reminder of the blood in her veins or the breath in her lungs. 
For so long now, it’s felt like she’s been living in the shadows, sleepwalking through her own existence, a body without a soul. But without even trying, Ted seems to have been able to jumpstart her heart. The sudden hug he’s wrapped her up in reanimates her, the most gentle reminder of her personhood. 
The parts of herself that she’d stored away and pushed down to satisfy Rupert’s constant need for control and attention flash back through her like a shock down her spine, and there’s nothing she can do but breathe deeply in the hopes of slowing her tears. This was not part of her plan. 
She’s not sure what to say to him. This man who, without prompting, chooses to comfort her in the wake of her ex-husband’s cruelty instead of enjoying the open bar the gala offers up inside. His admission that he can see straight through Rupert’s false niceties and acknowledge the man’s backhanded compliments for the callous commentary it really is.  
The sudden fear that Ted Lasso might be able to see through her just as well has bile rising in her throat, afraid that this ridiculous American might not be the fool she took him for. She finds herself terrified, thinking that worse than seeing through her plans of sabotage and revenge, Ted may be the only person capable of dismantling the fugazi walls of rage and intimidation she’s built around the loneliness and insecurity she’s been working so hard to keep contained. 
As she dries her eyes and fixes her make-up in the mirror, the warmth of his embrace lingering, she vows that won't allow this single act of kindness to distract from her goal of destroying Rupert. No man will ever have that level of sway in her life or emotions again. 
She wraps an arm around him outside the karaoke bar in Liverpool. 
Electing to ignore the thrumming weight of guilt playing with her heartstrings, she crouches next to him as he continues to work on his breathing. One of his hands clasps hers as she assures him he will be alright. 
It had been instantaneous, her limbs moving without instruction, pushing her way through the crowd with the singular goal of finding Ted. A switch flipped inside her, the selfish desires that had begun to fade this weekend gone completely from her mind the moment the coach had rushed from the room. Her heart clenches, the need to comfort him trumping all else. 
How cruel can the world be? She thinks as she watches him pull himself apart at the seams. The same man who always has an anecdote or joke to tell and who brings her biscuits each morning because he’s kinder and far more selfless than anyone else she’s ever met. She fights a sudden bought of nausea as she wonders how much pain of his own Ted might be carrying around, tragically aware of how much of his warmth and goodwill is designed to keep those around him content. 
She doesn’t try to coddle him. His breaths becoming more even, less frantic. He appreciates her offer to walk back with him or take her car but declines all the same. He’s a grown man; she’s sure he’ll get back to the hotel safely, but the concern that’s been rushing through her doesn’t dissipate. 
It strikes her standing out in the cold that she hasn’t cared for anyone like this in years. A shameful vindication fills her with the confirmation that she is still capable of compassion, strength, and kindness; she does, in fact, have a protective streak. She is not the cold-hearted bitch Rupert so desperately painted her to be. 
Surely, this is what friendship and affection should be. Support, freely given through good times and bad. She’s forced to crack a smile thinking of Keely’s unwavering adoration, and the renewal of Sassy’s bold love. Ted’s benevolence is so welcomed, and she curses herself for trying to break it. She hadn’t given herself an opportunity when she’d been married to Rupert to weigh the impact of her isolation, only allowing herself to become further withdrawn of her own accord. It had been too painful, but it was easier than letting herself love and be loved only to have the rug swept out from under her when she returned to a silent home, devoid of comfort or care. It is difficult to miss what you don’t allow yourself to have. 
She hugs him in his office. 
Never has anyone forgiven her with such ease and without conditions to boot. Her life had become such a minefield of avoidance. Learning to tiptoe around arguments, shrinking herself down to prevent conflict. She’d been bracing for confrontation as she laid out the details of her scheming and betrayal, steeling herself to react with robotic logical responses, doing her best to shove down her emotions as she told him she would understand if he went to the press or quit. But Ted meets her with compassion. 
The air is forced from her lungs. Like jumping into an ice-cold lake, the confession of her manipulation and lies has left her chest aching, her body shaking as she tries to refocus on the situation at hand, begging herself to keep her head above the water. 
His forgiveness has her stunned. It terrifies her, waiting in silence for the hammer to fall, so certain there’s a twist or a stipulation coming. She resents the way her mouth questions his motivations, the way she asks for punishment. 
She waits for him to say he’s joking, to belittle her with a casually cruel comment about her naivety. Instead, he only wonders aloud if she’s actually going to shake his outstretched hand anytime today. 
It’s like she can breathe for the first time in months when she wraps herself around him, ignoring his offer of a handshake to hug him tightly instead, with complete abandon for her own propriety. It only takes him half a second before he hugs her back, and she can’t help but think how easy it is to stand there in his arms. 
Much like when they shared outside the gala, she’s caught off guard by the safety he provides. She remembers all the times she found herself begging for Rupert’s forgiveness for disagreements and perceived slights, subjected to days of silence and loneliness. Her penance for Rupert’s insecurities. 
And yet, while her ex-husband's influence haunts her, it feels so distant now, her conscious mind occupied by the firm but tender press of Ted’s fingertips on her shoulder blade and the smell of his aftershave. 
She can’t be entirely certain of who kissed who first. He had told her last year that she was starting to form a habit; two truth bombs in two years. Now in their third year together, they seem to have shared the effort of dropping the third.
She hadn’t expected him to say anything in return, which in hindsight, was a ridiculous miscalculation. When had Ted Lasso ever truly been at a loss for words? Like clockwork, she’d made her way downstairs to the empty locker room, shutting his office door behind her. At first, he looked like he was about to make a joke, probably about the fact that it was truth-bomb-time, but after taking a moment to look at her, her hands clasped together so tightly (she’s sure she still hasn’t regained feeling in them), he rounded his desk to stand in front of her. 
It was impossible to keep any of it in any longer, not with him looking at her so tenderly. How could she not allow herself to be completely vulnerable when he looked so happy just to have her in his company? Of all the things their friendship has endured, surely a bit more love wouldn’t hurt. 
The words tumbled from her, ineloquent, and disorganized, but honest. She hadn’t fully planned how she would convey the complexity of the feelings that have been rattling around her head and her heart for more than a year. Love, she understands now, has no real logic to it. Where she had assumed she’d feel her cheeks burn red with embarrassment, or breakdown in the face of rejection, she felt herself grow braver. His brow furrowed and his eyes soft, before his smile grew, beaming at her like she’d just hung all the stars in the sky. 
“So, that’s that, I suppose,” she had finished. “A monologue of Shakespearean quality. You ever considered the theatre, Boss?” Her utterance of his name stopped his joking, leaving him to say, 
“I love you too, Rebecca”. 
Forming a single thought is entirely out of the question, her focus taken up by Ted Lasso, and warmth of his hand at the small of her back, the gentle scratch of his stubble against the palm of her hand. 
How could she have seen this coming? Such a great, powerful love born from her original motivations of pain and humiliation. The universe works in mysterious ways, and she can’t help but feel that this might all be destiny. A series of events that have never truly been under her control, and for the first time in her life, she’s completely okay with leaving things in lady fate’s capable hands. 
Her attempts to hurt Rupert only filled her with more shame and hurt of her own. Learning to live without him, finding genuine joy, and letting herself heal is the best revenge. The people who matter to her have always seen through Rupert’s manipulations and disrespect-- and in time, the world will see him for who he truly is, but until then, the best thing she can do is be happy despite him. It’d felt like she’s been walking a tightrope for so long, shaky and hesitant, with the end never in sight. Now, she knows she’s not alone; she hasn’t been for a while. She’s got friends cheering her on, and a love she knows will catch her if she falls. There’s renewed confidence in every step she takes.
The kiss feels like she’s being kissed for the very first time. It’s not an obligation or a thrill she’s chasing. It’s love, and it sets every bit of her ablaze. Fireworks, flames, butterflies, and every book cliche don’t matter; she’s kissing Ted Lasso, and she feels like she’s been struck by fucking lightning.
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