#reasons I became the goth lesbian I am today

[emilydickinsonsghost]

POV: it’s the 2000s, you’re an emo theater kid and you’re about to find out you’re a lesbian.

Congrats, now you have a lifelong obsession with older goth women.

[noctilionoidea]

Monster High Gen 3 movie review

I YOHOHOED IT. FOUND THE LINK but I’m not gonna link it here unless asked. I don’t support the director but I did want to watch it since there’s a lot of hate, which makes me want to give it a chance at the least for the actors. This is just my personal opinion, as an og fan since the age of 5 when I found Draculaura at target. This series is part of what inspired me as a goth. But since this is for the children of today, I want to view it with neither a positive of negative bias. Anyways, I’m just a kid with opinions that you can disagree with.

no matter the quality, it is a reboot. When I was little I saw my little pony turn the femme fashionista Rainbow Dash I knew into the jock we know today. I was only pissy for a week because I didn’t find them to even slightly the same character. I still don’t, even after I became a fan and eventually grew out of it (not that I think I’m too old, I’m just not a huge mlp fan anymore). Reboots often turn characters unrecognizable for better or worse. It’s a normal result. If your pissed about that beyond “we were asking for a gen 1 revival and don’t trust Mattel saw a corporation” I suggest you go mountain hiking or something. Anything to get your mind off it because you are clearly in need of it.

main takeaway; I don’t hate it.

it reminds me of the boy who cried werewolf, another Nickelodeon Halloween movie that, like the og monster high, i grew up on. The musical numbers are okay. They’re pop songs which aren’t my taste, but they aren’t horrific and “out of the dark” or whatever its called, is pretty good. The background music is reminiscent of old 90s Halloween movies.

THE COSTUMING ISNT AS SHIT AS EVERYONE SAYS IT IS. Seriously, if you see a highschooler you know they dress like shit. Heck, I am that highschooler half the time. Even in full goth attire I’m limited, I’m seventeen and not allowed to wear fishnets. fishnets! They don’t look horrid, just slightly cheap.

here’s some things I dislike

clawdeen and Deuce have a half assed romance. We all knew this, but like, they don’t even commit to it anyways, and cleo (who he broke up with pre movie) still has better chemistry with both of them. I feel people make too big a deal of lesbian clawdeen (she’s had male love interests, it’s simply a headcanon beloved by the creator as well. That being said she does have in g1 tons of lesbian coding so it’s still a slap in the face).

it opens with clawdeen in a skate park, but has absolutely no reason to be like that. Was it to make her relatable? By pulling “sick skateboard moves dawg” or something? It’s not a new character trait either, never comes up again. She could’ve been going for a walk or run and it would’ve hit the same notes.

Clawdeen has no personality. It’s been stripped of her to make her relatable and failed miserably. I can’t name an interest or anything.

draculaura has a personality, but with making her pure goth (a decision I actually love as she was originally a Victorian goth) they’ve taken away her bubbliness. She’s not horrid, but it’s sad, because it was an opportunity to have a bubbly goth vampire witch.

Komos is named for a Greek Satyr but is meant to be a Minotaur “Hyde monster” hybrid?? As someone familiar with Komos, boy satyr in the retinue of his father the god Dionysos, there were… so many better possibilities.

Hyde is not an active part of the movie, but he’s got a huge influence. Hyde is intended to be a monster, with Jekyll as his human half. As a fan of the strange case of doctor Jekyll and mister Hyde, it’s not the worst representation of the character, as they seem to be one and not another boring split personality, but! Hyde is clearly meant to be perceived mainly as a monster, but in the novella he’s mainly a chemical induced transformation that results in Jekyll being… a horrid dumbass. Hyde is also depicted as muscular despite his real description being of a young and hairy scrawny short man. As a Jekyll/Hyde kinnie (jk) I do not like how my trash goblin doctor gets portrayed and am taking it out on this.

ghoulia speaks English. I’m ready to punt whoever did that. Like she’s kinda charming but just… it was always important that she seems to be foreign language or nonverbal, you know?

monsters that were marketed as more prevailing were just there or background characters. It’s just really clickbait-y.

that being said

I liked witch Draculaura. She’s cute in a different way than Draculaura. Dracula puts pressure on her to be the best vampire ever (though never spoken), and hates human magic, which is witchcraft. And yeah, that makes sense as witchcraft is historically a thing of humans in close relation to the supernatural and or divine. Vampires and witches canoncially have an ongoing war between them, it’s a miracle he allows her to practice in the end. She’s socially isolated and cold in part because not only does she fail to live up to her father’s expectations academically, but also indulges in activities he hates. And her other outfits look significantly better than than the promotional image thank god.

Clawdeen has a very sweet relationship with her father, which keeps her from turning into a full monster when given the chance, because he’s important to her and she doesn’t want to erase his side of her. He’s scared for her but allows her to go to monster high because it’s what she needs. They have such a good relationship and it’s nice to see.

Cleo simply seemed to go through the old “mean girl to friend” in the same way she did originally. She’s done pretty well in general. She trained under the magic god Heka while alive, and she does her best to help in the climax, getting over her biases.

Lagoona is Cleo’s bestie here, but she’s not done wrong whatsoever. She’s there to defend Cleo when she thinks that deuce has left her emotionally hurt and shows worry and compassion in her few scenes, in which she is never the focus… that’s not great but. She also has an accent still, just not Australian. So she doesn’t get to have that moment where she says-

Frankie is literally. The greatest. They’re the absolute highlight in my opinion. I feel they still embody the Frankie from the other versions, but with new aspects. They’re made of famous people in both mind and body (freida Kahlo’s hands, Shakespeare’s liver, the heart of some farmer, etc.) they have a bunch of knowledge but are socially unaware of how to interact. They’re autism coded!! It makes me happy! I too, am autistic!!! They also have the best jokes and it’s totally worth pirating to watch, just for them💖. You just know that if Og Frankie met them, she’d immediately get along with them.

Abby and holt play football with a foot in one scene. And then talk about eating it. There’s a lot of cannibalism jokes, but the football one was funny (Frankie again, is a huge reason why).

It’s not great. It’s very flawed. One might say it’s bad. But whatever kid who watches this, is probably able to enjoy it. I did, in spite of it being so unrecognizable from the series of my childhood. I hope the show will be better though. (I also hope holt’s adopted there)

I don’t think it’s worth ALL the hate it gets. It’s not brilliant, but if you’re not supporting the dickwad director I think it’s worth killing time for.