#really what dante hates are bad people who don't know they're bad people. people without remorse.

[mariyekos]

Trying to work on the Dante + Credo post-DMC4 "I'm not your god (but I'll help you anyway)" fic again and I feel like I've got the core ideas fleshed out well, but I'm struggling to get it into proper fic format... The idea is that Credo survives DMC4 but is wasting away, so he goes to Dante to basically ask him to look after Nero and Kyrie, but has some uh. Religious moments. Dante wants Credo to stop treating him like he's special because he's not, but Credo can't help it because Dante feels Special whether he wants to admit it or not.

There's a lot of religious guilt and an exploration of Credo's complicity with (in?) Sanctus/The Order's crimes, plus a core feeling of a questionable faith that may or may not actually produce results tied into questions of what a god really is, what Dante would be as the son of that "god," and whether someone must earn salvation themselves or if they can reach for it for the sake of others. Which is all phrased terribly but it's late and the whole point of this post is that I'm trying to figure out how to make these ideas actually sound good so. Yeah it's all messy. Hopefully I'll figure it out eventually. I've been trying to write this fic for three and a half months.

[icycoldninja]

Hey love <3 it’s me again, and again I’m sorry if my English is bad hahah I promise I'm trying to improve.

I wanted to know if u could do a headcannon of the Sparda + V with a Fem Reader who has self-harm

It's something I've been going through for a long time and lately it's been a bit difficult for me to handle. I think it could be interesting to see how they would act in a situation like that and what their reaction would be, I feel like at least they wouldn't look at you so badly and they wouldn't judge u too much of the scars on your body haha ​​(cry 🕴️)

Again, if this may seem strange or something too inappropriate, u have every right to ignore it without a problem! 🛐 i really love ur writings 💞

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that. Thanks for requesting, and hopefully this lifts your spirits.

Sparda boys + V x Reader with self harm issues headcannons

Tw: Self harm

¤ Dante ¤

-Dante is the most supportive and loving partner you could hope for, always checking up on you and giving you hugs even when you don't think you need one.

-He doesn't judge your scars or ask you to hide them, if anything, he thinks they're beautiful.

-He will not hesitate to run in and stop you from hurting yourself, if he happens to catch you halfway in the act.

-He squashes you with cuddles and kisses, usually pinning you to the bed or couch to keep you from going anywhere.

-Kisses you all the time, every day, every night, sometimes even while you sleep. He loves you so much and wants you to know that.

-He will help you with your issues, always being there to listen to anything you might want to get out, or to calm you down when you're feeling particularly destructive.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil hates seeing you upset in any way, and while he's not really a touchy feely person, he wants to make you feel better.

-He does this by giving you motivating pep talks every time he has a chance to show you the foolishness behind your detrimental behavior.

-He also limits your access to sharp objects and otherwise dangerous tools.

-Sometimes, somehow, you find a way to break past his defenses and get your hands on a dangerous object, but Vergil will step in and keep you from bringing that object down on your flesh.

-He will then give you a stern, yet loving talking-to, expressing how much he loves you, and at the same time, how angry he is with you for allowing yourself to slip into darkness and depression so easily.

-Sometimes, however, his words backfire. Instead of lifting your spirits with inspiration, they make you feel worse, so he ends up cuddling you to sleep, silently begging for forgiveness and assuring you he loves you all at the same time.

□ Nero □

-Nero understands your struggles, but not how to help you.

-He knows the obvious stuff, to assure you of your self worth (cause you are worth it) and to limit your access to sharp objects.

-He spoils you with attention and affection whenever he's home, pulling you into his lap, cradling you while watching a movie, constantly kissing you as you drift off to sleep, etc.

-He will be there when you're at your lowest, even if he doesn't know what to do. He'll just sit there and hook his arm around you, letting you know he's there if you want to talk or anything.

-He isn't good at verbally comforting people, but he is a great listener, and listen he shall.

-Unload whatever you want on him, Nero will soak it all up like a sponge and then use that knowledge to figure out ways to help you more.

● V ●

-V doesn't judge anything, period.

-He doesn't make comments about your body, or your scars, or give you funny looks, or just treat you negatively in general.

-He loves you more than his own life and would do anything to keep you safe, loved, and happy.

-He won't let you bring any more harm to yourself. If he sees you do it or finds evidence that you have been doing it, he will take away your weapon and cling onto you tightly.

-He won't let go of you when you're cuddling because he's afraid you'll slip away and do something to yourself while he's asleep.

-He might not look it, but his grip is vice-like and he won't let go unless you pry him off of you with a crowbar.

[northwest-cryptid]

Sometimes I look at the Project Moon games and wonder about what the team at PM must be like.

I mean hear me out... and yea spoilers and all that but I can't really get my point across without them so ya know.

Lobotomy Corp is a game that centers around the plot of 1 awful awful man who has done unspeakably horrible things to his colleagues in the pursuit of a goal they technically all wanted, but "not like this" only to go through so many horrifying loops of tragedy that everyone becomes numb, finding their own ways to cope with having to work at such a truly hellish work place. With the main character becoming someone better through atonement for his actions, he can't truly atone in the eyes of those he has harmed but he can try to better himself going forward and in the end he's able to at least give them all the gift of seeing their goal through to the end.

Library of Ruina shows us yet again a struggle with identity, this time accompanied by yet another major plot surrounding the idea of revenge this whole idea that the actions that freed one individual from a horrible life of abuse and neglect inflicted irreparable harm upon another. Yet they work together for so long in hopes of each achieving their own goals, only in the end coming to realization of their life, their grief, and their identity. Both being able to move past who they were and the pain they've felt and become something more than a husk living purely in spite of their suffering.

and I'll be honest, I've not played much of Limbus Company, I hate to admit it because I love the Project Moon universe but the game doesn't much keep my interest. That being said on the most baseline level of the game you have an understanding that this is a company of people specifically brought together for emotionless work. You have the most uncaring neglecting managers and head figures; Dante seems to be the most emotional of anyone and that's likely coming from the place of actually having to go through the literal pain of reviving anyone who dies, experiencing their pain in the process. So I could are they're a little more invested in their subordinate's wellbeing. However more than not, the lead figures here do not care about their underlings, and if you pay attention to the sinners; they're all full of life in different ways, sure some of them are less happy than others; but they all have goals, they all have ambition.

So what am I getting at with all of this? Well do I actually believe the lead writer/writers at ProjMoon are trying to say something about the company? Nah probably not, it's very likely they're just writing angst for the sake of angst; and while a lot of their writing is well done and captures a lot of mental illness and real conflict very well; I don't think they are necessarily trying to go any deeper than that.

That being said; we only now see how bad their CEO really is. However I have a hunch that this wasn't always the case, originally he was probably a genuinely nice dude. I say this completely on assumption mind you, so again if you think I'm making some weird stretches in logic or something read the above blurb again and recognize that I'm not some conspiracy theorist trying to spout some bullshit. I'm just saying that it's interesting to me that a small indie company of like 7 - 10 people who were really ambitious about their goal of becoming a game studio worked really hard (and likely failed a LOT in the past) in spite of their living situation being complete shit. Like basically everyone I know who knows about ProjMoon knows there were times they were so poor they couldn't afford basic heating and such. So here you have this company who dream of wealth and honor, being someone important, being someone rich enough to live a good life. They make 1 game (Lob Corp) that seems to be doing well, the Legacy version got played by a few youtubers and likely drew in a small but dedicated fanbase who gave them a rush of euphoria; finally there were eyes on their product. Real people, around the world who CARED about what they were making. They were likely far from their goal still, but now they had a chance. Then; they took a shift and remade the game to what we know it as today and what do you know... it was a success. They weren't rich or anything but here's this global fan community singing their praises, telling people "buy their game buy their game!" That's wealth and honor, at least on some level. See when you're THAT poor, even a couple thousand bucks or a couple hundred people with eyes on you can make all the difference. Sure we think "wealthy" means triple digit thousands at LEAST and such; but if even 100 people came to my stream and each of them gave me 25 bucks (the price of Lob Corp) I'd feel pretty damn successful having just made $2,500 "but cryptid they probably put a lot more money INTO it than that" sure that's true, and they probably sold a lot more than 100 copies of the game. There are currently 26,396 reviews on steam, with 455 being recent reviews. In total if we assume (and we don't, let's be real) that every one of those bought the game at full price, and the company got 100% of the money; that's $659,225 a little over a half a million. from Lob Corp alone. Now yea I'm not gonna say they didn't have to pay a % to steam for hosting and they likely had some copies sold when the game was like 50% off or something if we're being honest. However this doesn't take into account LoR being $30, with 20,501 reviews for a total of (again under the same assumptions which we aren't realistically assuming here) another $615,030 we have no idea how much merch they sold or how much profit they made from their café either.

What am I getting at here? That they made a bunch of money? We know. No it's more than that; See it's easy to look at the CEO and say "oh dude fuck Project Moon they're a shit company!" However consider for a second that you don't hate Netzach, Chesed, Angela, Tiph, Hod, etc; for the actions of Ayin... do you? Now yea obviously those are fictional people, so you know they don't have bills to pay they don't have families to take care of, they don't have real life problems to deal with... unlike the people who work at Project Moon.

All people who likely watched their friend, and CEO; change when he obtained the money and fame he was after; suddenly hiding the fact he had grown so much from the public so they could sell the idea of being a "small indie dev team" to keep pay lower and abuse their workers. Which, from what I understand; is what we learned from the WonderLab incident, unless I'm mistaken of course. Take everything I'm saying here with a grain of salt. It's very likely that the writing for the original Lob Corp wasn't about the Proj Moon team specifically, more so about working conditions in capitalism, and likely the current state of Korean societal/work norms. However I do wonder how much of the writing might be or could be based on what the team is going through in relation to their own work place.

I saw a lot of people saying "how could the people who wrote games about shit business practices literally do this shit, they wrote about it!" However I don't know if the CEO himself really had much of a hand in that, you have to remember that none of us; and I do mean NONE OF US. Have any idea what the working conditions there are actually like. For all we know the CEO could easily say "oh sure I wrote this and that, I looked over these things; I helped with those things" when in reality it's all delegated to some poor intern.

I mean hell I once worked with an indie company who literally stole my intellectual property, claimed it all as their own; said they had "come up with all of this the night before at an exclusive meeting" and then used it to profit off their scam of a game that they lied to the public about being something it wasn't and I never saw a cent of it because I told them off for not only stealing my work but A. lying to me and thinking I wouldn't know and B. lying to the public to scam people out of their money.

A lot of shady shit practices happen behind closed doors that never gets to be made public whether it's because you don't have a voice to say it loud enough or because contractually you're not legally able to without harsh consequences. You know what you can do though? You can write whatever you want for the plot of your game. Your game that is already built around the premise of abusive work practices and shitty capitalistic managers.

what was that limbus company quote, something like "take out their leader, remove the head and the meat under it crumbles" I don't know man, it just makes me wonder about how the people working at Project Moon feel about their CEO. I don't know how many of them are WILLINGLY following him vs how many have to keep a roof over their head and feel like they have no choice in the matter but to keep working for a shitty CEO who makes the big bucks while they likely get "small indie dev team pay" you know?

I'll say this again because I know, this is the "how dare you say we piss on the poor" website and I want to make this abundantly clear. I don't know jack shit about what goes on behind closed doors at that company, I'm not trying to make some kind of conspiracy theory, I'm not reading too much into plot or writing of a fictional world/characters/game. I'm not trying to make any claims about any persons working within the company. I'm merely wondering how much of the writing (WHICH COULD BE NONE) comes from a more personal view of venting about poor working conditions and how many of the employees working at Project Moon (WHICH COULD BE ALL OF THEM) actually consider their CEO to be a friend and someone worth working for rather than as an abusive boss they're scared of and who they can't quit working for because they need the money.

[marlborodean]

here’s my analysis of a 14-yr-old supernatural episode

so remember that episode where sam fucked a werewolf? because he related to her unwilling monstrosity? well that episode is actually just about dean starting to come to grips with his childhood and his sexuality.

if you ship w/ncest do not interact. this post is not anti-sam either btw. 

content warning: discussions of childhood trauma, internalized homophobia, guns, killing. 

does include some images with Image Descriptions following them.

[ID: An over-the-shoulder close-up shot from the episode, focused on Madison, the werewolf, as she cries. Dean is standing behind her. They are both looking at Sam, whose shoulder is on the edge of the frame. End ID.]

Brief episode recap just in case u don’t remember. This ep is 2x17 “Heart.” Sam and Dean are hunting a werewolf. They discover that the woman they interviewed, Madison, is a werewolf (not THEE werewolf, but one of them). Sam develops a lil crush on her <3 I wrote the majority of this after watching it for the first time in almost SIX years, so i was just vibing the whole time UNTIL the last shot changed it all for me. So let me explain!

Three important points that i will refer back to:

1. The episode begins with Dean being excited to hunt a werewolf because "what about a human by day, a freak animal killing machine by moonlight don't you understand? I mean, werewolves are badass. We haven't seen one since we were kids."

2. Then the episode centers on Sam and his relationship with the werewolf woman and his own monstrosity: "[Dean: Sam, she's a monster and you're feeling sorry for her?] Maybe I understand her."

3. BUT THEN the last shot of the episode is of Dean crying as music plays (see below for the specific lyrics) and then Dean jumps at the sound of the gunshot. That's it! That's the end of the episode!

[ID: For all three screencaps, Dean is looking torturously sad. Each one is zoomed a little bit closer to his face than the last. In the last image, Dean sheds a single man tear. The captioned lyrics for the first one say "Relax, child, you were there." The second says "but only didn't realize" and the third says "and you were scared." End ID]

Even though the story is supposed to be about Sam and his monstrosity, and partly about his relationship w/romance since this is the first person he’s slept with since Jess died (at least with what is shown on screen)...the Dean Sandwich tells us otherwise. We're supposed to be taking away something about DEAN here. Like, that's the whole purpose behind the last shot focusing solely on Dean instead of Sam who is AT THAT MOMENT, KILLING THE GIRL HE HAS FEELINGS FOR. It's literally a heartbreaking, devastating, super traumatic thing for Sam to be going through, but instead we're watching Dean as a single tear slides down his face lmao. It's because this episode is about DEAN, and furthering his story.

Let’s not queer this just yet. The death of the werewolf is about/representing his loss of innocence. It's a violent disconnect from his childhood. Point # 1 shows that he is fascinated by werewolves because since he was a kid he thought they were badass, not to mention all the werewolf films he references throughout. Then, through the music lyrics over that last scene, they mirror that theme of childhood. They’ve done this before, having the diegetic music directly reference what the characters are going through. No different here: Dean is the child they’re referring to.

I have to reiterate that that's the last thing we hear before the gunshot cuts the music short and then the cut to black. "You were scared" is the last thing we hear before the gunshot, as Dean cries. ALSO I have to reiterate that Dean was looking forward to killing a werewolf and shooting it himself. So it's super fascinating that, not only is Sam the one that kills the werewolf, WE DON’T EVEN SEE IT HAPPEN.

[ID: A medium-close shot of Dean as he looks at Sam, who takes up the right half of the frame. The caption says, “Sammy, I got this one. I’ll do it.” End ID.]

Am i gonna have to say this now? The werewolf is a metaphor, okay? It's a metaphor for his innocence, which is long-dead, forever doomed. I mean, a lot of kids love werewolves because they ARE badass! It's a classic monster that anyone could easily obsess over, and with Dean's childhood it must've seemed even cooler, knowing they're real and having the power to kill this "mythical" beast. So the way he's looking forward to killing one is the way a child imagines themselves as a hero.

But what happens instead is a tragic mercy killing. It's flipping his fantasy completely on its head, and it makes Dean realize that.....his fantasies are just fantasies. They aren't real, never would be. There's nothing heroic about killing this werewolf. It's tragic as hell. When he offers to kill her himself, it's just to relieve Sam's burden, but he's reluctant still. Because, as he keeps saying, he doesn't want to be a hunter! He doesn't want this life! He's tired of killing! And that's also what he's mourning as he cries and startles at the gunshot. His fantasies will never be real and his childhood could never have been normal and he never got a chance to be a kid because being a hunter was thrust on him at such a young age. And now it feels inescapable.

[ID: A gif of the slow zoom on Dean’s face as the single tears slips down his cheek. He jumps at the gunshot, then blinks and his lip wobbles. End ID.]

So now we can queer it :-) Of course all monster stories can be easily queered, but werewolves are popularly queered. The first example that comes to mind is An American Werewolf in London (1981) isn’t an overtly queer film (though it is Jewish!) but it’s definitely read that way by a lot of people!! Anyway the film was directed by John Landis which JUST SO HAPPENS to be the pseudonym Dean goes by in this episode. hmm. (Also, interestingly, the BTVS ep where the first gay character comes out references this film too)

[ID: Sam and Dean are standing close to each other. Sam is in the foreground, not in focus. Dean, behind him, says, “Landis. And Detective Dante.” End ID.]

There’s this essay about the queer werewolf that you can read here (and they also talk about fandom in it! very fascinating), where they say in the intro: “the werewolf seems an obvious choice as a queer monster with its identity-disrupting hybridity, as well as its atavistic, and, thus, disallowable sexuality.” A lot like Kristeva’s theory of the abject body! which is popular in queer theory. 

This episode is then queering Sam—his attraction to the werewolf makes him abject—but it also queers Dean thru the way his attitude towards the werewolf transforms (get it?) throughout the ep. His desire and eagerness to kill the werewolves is obviously ingrained in him from John’s parenting. Consider what he said in 2x03 “Bloodlust”: “And the way he raised us, to hate those things—and man, I hate them, I do.” In conjunction with the monsters in the show being seen as queer allegories (the gorgon, as an example of an explicit comparison), Dean’s excitement to kill the werewolf can be read as internalized homophobia and repressing any of his own feelings. 

Remember, though, right before that line in “Bloodlust,” he also said, “What if we killed things that didn’t deserve killing?” He’s really beginning to question whether all monsters are bad, and what it means to kill them. Is he also questioning what he believes of queer people? What John believed of queer people? The loss of innocence and queering both slot together through that final shot, imo: he’s crying because he realizes his fantasies aren’t real, but he’s also mourning the fact that he never could have had the chance to grow up without John’s control, and now it’s forever tainted his worldview. What else could he have been without that? (The answer is evident in 4x17 “It’s a Terrible Life.”)

Dean was taught to hate queer people but he doesn't want to. He wants to get out of the life but it feels inescapable. He wants to kill a werewolf and then when he has the chance, he doesn't want to. He actually cries as it's killed. It scares him, having to confront that what he thought he knew was wrong, but he knows all the same that he’ll never have the chance to have grown up without that. 

[ma-gic-gay]

So this is a new one of these and the other one is probably over so yeah

It's a weird Christmas.

It marks a year since anyone last saw Sonny, a year since Julian's death, and a year full of drama, as one would expect.

Michael and Willow had had another child, a girl this time. Her name was Ophelia and Wiley loved being a big brother to her. The pair had also burned their annulment papers when they'd realized she was pregnant and finally admitted their feelings for each other. Watching them together had probably been the highlight of the year for their family.

Sam had started hooking up with Dante much to the chagrin of, well, everyone. It had started as a few random hookups but changed quickly into an actual relationship, testing several familial bonds.

Luckily, that disaster on wheels had been halted when Lulu had woken up from her coma. Lulu and Dante got back together and fell in love, again.

Sasha and Brando had formed a relationship as well, which was quite a surprise at first glance but made sense after a few weeks.

"Carly? You okay?" Jason asks. Surprisingly enough, she hadn't completely broke down yet, or ran away. The furthest she'd ran was the island and even then, it was only a few hours no one knew where she was, since he couldn't teleport and it took that long to get to the island.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking," she responds, faking a smile.

"Tell that to the tears in your eyes and obviously fake smile," he says to her. "What are you thinking about?"

"It's been a year since any of us have heard from Sonny. For all we know, he's dead. Hell, he probably is. I know I should give up and just agree to a funeral, but it feels wrong to do that without a body," Carly sighs, head in her hands in an effort to hide her tears. "It feels wrong for him to not be here. Last Christmas, we were convinced he'd be home by now and now it's like we've all resigned ourselves to him being dead."

"If it doesn't feel right to have a funeral, don't have one. I've known you for a long time, and your instincts are right a lot of the time. Just because Sonny's not confirmed dead doesn't mean he's not," Jason frowns, putting his arm around her and rubbing circles along her back.

Sonny's "death" meant he had to step up in more ways than one. This had marked the year of Jason running the mob, which he'd practically been doing before but was actually doing now. He'd also had to become sort of a surrogate husband to Carly to the point he practically lives there by now. The kids hadn't questioned it; they'd asked a few times if there was anything going on there but after getting a firm no there hadn't been anything else from them in forms of questioning their relationship status. It was what it was and that was the same friendship they'd always had.

There had been times even Danny had questioned why they were at that house so much, to the point he once asked Carly if they were together or not.

You know it's reaching an odd point when a twelve year old is asking if you're in love with your best friend.

Of course, they didn't take into consideration the fact the whole town thought they were together. Again. Everyone had assumed, based off of how much time they'd been spending together- surprisingly more than normal- and the fact that he'd all but moved into the house that they were together.

That was a fun one to realize when he'd gotten shot and everyone had assured her that her boyfriend would be fine.

It just wasn't happening, they were friends. Anything more could complicate it and complicated almost always meant that there would be fights they couldn't go to each other to uncomplicate.

"I know that, but I just don't want to live knowing that there's a chance he could be alive somewhere and he's been kidnapped or forgotten his name or something. It's like I'm stuck in this neverending circle where there's barely any hope but I can't pretend there's none either. Sometimes, I wish that the police would show up with a body and I would have to confirm that yes, he is dead, just so that I could get out of this loop," Carly sobs. "And then I feel terrible for wishing he was dead because I love him, you know, but then at the same time, I can't help but feel like I need closure."

"That's not a bad thing, to need closure. None of us get any closure when it comes to this, Carly. You're not a bad person for wanting some," he reminds her. "You've been grieving for a year a man you don't even know for sure is dead. It doesn't make you bad to want to have something definite."

"But wanting my husband dead? That's dark," she argues with him.

"You want to know if he's dead or alive, something to confirm what's happened to him. I hate to break it to you but you don't qualify as a terrible person," Jason chuckles. "You've never killed someone, never hurt a kid."

"I shot a dude in open court, I almost killed AJ. I've done a lot of questionable things in my life, Jason," Carly fights back.

She's not wrong, persay, but she's not right. "That stuff doesn't make you a bad person. Morally grey? Yes. Bad? No. You do what you think is best and you're impulsive. If something's not going your way, you'll tip the scales. It's just how you are. None of that makes you a bad person. Some people might not like it, but you've never killed someone or hurt a kid, so in my book you're a good person."

Carly's head comes out of her hands for a minute and he smiles, wiping away the tears. "Well you're not a bad person either. You'd never hurt a kid and you only kill in self defense or if the person's really bad and threatening someone you care about. It's not like you wake up and go kill someone for shits and giggles. You mourn the people you kill and feel bad about it. Only a purely horrible person wouldn't feel bad about their murders."

"Neither of us are bad people, let's just agree on that at least."

"Fine," she relents finally. That only took a year. "I miss Sonny. Especially this time of year. Last year, he read Donna and Avery the Grinch and he had the world's worst Grinch voice. I practically begged him to read another book because of how bad it was. But this year, I wish he would be able to read it to them."

"I miss him too," Jason admits. "It's been a hell of a year without him."

"That it has. So much has changed," she agrees with him, shifting her position on the couch so she's lying her head on his lap.

That's probably why the kids thought they were dating.

He plays with her hair as she laughs, remembering some obscure detail about his telling of the Grinch and decorating for Christmas.

Scratch that, this is definitely why everyone thinks they're together.

"Hey Mom, Jason," Joss greets them, coming in from the kitchen. "I'm going to Trina's. Donna's with Ophelia at the Quartermaine's and Avery's with Ava."

"Alright sweetie, have fun," Carly bids her daughter goodbye, sighing. "Why is she so adult now? I mean, I can remember when she was born and it feels like yesterday. Hell, Michael's birth feels like yesterday. And they're both so grown up."

"Time flies when you're having fun," he answers.

"Where'd you get that? A throw pillow or some advice of my mother's?"

"A card someone sent me back when I was in the hospital. Needless to say, that card got tossed in the trash as soon as you'd let me stand up to go to the trash."

"Who the hell sent that to you of all people?"

"No clue. It didn't have a name attached."

"Huh. Well, it's a terrible expression. Too throw pillow. The real answer would be that we're aging, sadly," Carly sighs again, equally as dramatic. "Granted, I still look like I'm 27, but somehow I've aged."

"Age is but a number."

"You sound like a Hallmark card."

"Rude."

"You do!"

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm aging as well. You're not in this whole getting old thing alone. Provided, of course, that you agree to age," he smirks.

"I don't have anything better to do, sadly, so I suppose I'll agree to getting older. But I refuse to have a gray hair."

"Then go to the salon when you notice one and dye your hair."

"I plan on it," the blonde smiles at him before changing the topic. "Do you think we're weird?"

"That came out of nowhere."

"Answer the question."

"No?"

"That sounded like a question."

"Carly, how am I supposed to answer this one? I don't know, maybe?" Jason says, though most of it comes out as a question.

"Well, I mean, think of it. Sonny's been presumed dead for a year. You've been in charge of the business and been there for all of us in more ways than I can count. Seriously, I think Donna sees you as a father," Carly chuckles. "And you've listened to me crying and losing it. Hell, you spent a month and a half at the island just so I wouldn't be alone."

"Hey, you're family. I was happy to do all of those things. Besides, you wouldn't leave my side when I got shot. Or for a very long month after that," he jokes.

"I know but you didn't have to do that. You didn't have to step up and parent the kids. You already had Danny and Scout and the breakup with Sam to deal with, that's a lot at once. Not to mention, taking over the business and grieving Sonny. And dealing with me. All at the same time," she smiles. "Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful, but you had no obligation to do any of that."

"Carly, do you think I'd be here right now if I didn't want to? You know me better than that. I love you and the kids and want to be there for all of you. So far, I've only gotten shot once and that was unrelated, so I'd consider this a pretty good experience."

The blonde scoffs at him and he chuckles. "Not funny. You could've died."

Rolling his eyes, he reminds her, "I didn't."

"Well you're not allowed to get shot for a long time."

"I'll take getting shot off of my to do list."

"Don't you dare joke about this!"

"Alright. Look at me. I'm not going to die anytime soon. I promise. It takes a lot more than a measly bullet to kill me, after all. Not even Russian madmen could do it," he says seriously.

"Good. Because if you do that to me again, I'll have no choice but to resign myself to a life in either prison or Ferncliff," she says half seriously, getting a laugh out of Jason.

It's not entirely unrealistic she'd end up in one of those positions, especially given that it's already happened. Repeatedly.

Maybe there's a sign she should stop doing dangerous things.

Almost as though she's being told to by something inside her, Carly connects her lips with his.

to be continued

why do i get myself into these things smh

[kawaiijohn]

Okay rant incoming. No reblog or 🔪🔪

Do not fucking reblog this. This is my personal trauma, read at your own risk and it's time for Dante over sharing time. It goes in circles but I haven't spoken about this shit at all personally and I'm just so so so tired and upset.

Cw for rape mentions, abuse mentions, csa, and a lot of my trauma. Skye do not look at this.

I just sit here, constantly reminded that she still had a platform and did the exact thing to freshly turned adults almost a decade later and blames her mental health/memory issues for assaulting and grooming people.

It's apparently abelist to say she assaulted you bc she "can't remember doing it" and you the victim are "obviously lying"

This was the same person who encouraged her friends to bully my ass for shipping mostly m/m stuff and at the same time bullied me into letting her do whatever /she/ wanted and to control what I watched/read.

The same person who used me, a freshly graduated abused 18 y/o with trouble communicating and problems reading people, to get at my friends who were still in highschool, all while talking the talk and walking the walk as a feminist, a savior of women's rights, the only "not fedora bro" person that existed on Tumblr! (she was not presenting feminine at the time, and was very attractive and charming)

She had so many underaged victims and used their terms and the like to get at real people. She straight up told people "this fictional content is bad and fucked up and depraved" and then would go and do what was in that content. And I mean she'd verbally tell you you were DISGUSTING or FUCKED UP for liking stuff like that, and would go and do worse to real people.

I do not trust people who are verbal to the point of attacking people over this sort of content. I can't trust them. I really can't.

Just block them, and don't fucking bring "gross ships" up in public servers! You mentioning ships that are like that is only going to trigger people who are legit triggered by it my guy, and you make yourself look immature AF! If you know it's wrong irl and causes a LOT of issues/discourse, there's 0 need to fucking bring it up to a large audience without consent.

The people who do this shit are one of the following:

1. Someone who hates the ship and wants everyone to know it/agree

2. Someone who feels the need to comment on how they're "surprised this ship exists! How could anyone write this!!!" Bc they're apparently new to the internet/fandom

3. Someone with interpersonal communication skills who DOES like the ship and doesn't realize it may be in poor taste to share it like that (this happens almost never, but I've seen it once or twice)

4. People trying to actually start shit in a large group

It's why I have RULES in the fandom servers I'm in that state EXPLICITLY:

there is to be no shipping discourse. If it's a ship known to cause problems/have a lot of fucked up elements or content (think age gap (minor/adult but aged up) or incest ships) don't bring it up! This isn't the place for it! I don't care the opinion, these types of ships cause issues and trigger a lot of people, so don't bring them up!!

Like as an example: I can't do teacher/student ships for personal reasons AT ALL and they make me feel gross and can trigger me on a bad day, but I ain't gonna go find someone who writes that stuff to tell them how "morally reprehensible" they are. I don't go comment on every fic with that tag to tell people to get help or fucking die.

Focusing on that shit when it makes you uncomfortable is just going to make you feel worse. If you don't see it or acknowledge it, your mental health will do SO much better.

I've found that with a large block list and blocked tag list, I feel a lot better mentally bc it reminds me "I can find the stuff I do like, and this isn't my adult life in the real world. This is a fucking Hobby"

It also helps to assume the best in people, and I can't do that with people incredibly verbal/hostile to people who ship/like things they don't like.

If you tell someone they are "literally a fucking pedophile" for liking idk fucking narusasu bc "oh my God they were CHILDREN" when most of us grew up watching it at the same age as the kids, I'm going to block you bc you're making a fucking accusation I can't fucking stand behind.

Real pedos exist. Real groomers exist. They will do whatever they can to hurt people.

I was groomed using Homestuck and cosplay. My abuser and groomer would send me explicit texts teasing cosplaying certain characters. She would never follow up and would fish nudes from people (minors) like this. Does this mean Homestuck and cosplay should be banned?

I have a friend who was groomed using dangan ronpa bc she liked one of the characters who was her age at the time. Our abuser and groomer would tease her with "oh maybe I'll cosplay him then, but only if you're a good girl for me" and yet nobody said anything bc most of us were still in high school or hadn't been out of HS long enough to know this was wrong.

We just liked the attention from someone who was masc, bc she targeted people who didn't have good relationships with their father figures.

She knowingly preyed on abused femme presenting people with parental issues. People who had mental disabilities (autism mostly) and who were all under the age of 20, but mostly under 18.

She sex trafficked one of my best friends.

She touched my underaged friends with my little siblings sitting right in front of them (She did not care that my mother was nearby. I didn't say anything bc I was too afraid and it had already started. She used fear to scare any of us from speaking up)

She assaulted so many minors that when I made a callout post about her, I got equal number asks of "she would never" and "I was 14 when she used me as a sex slave"

And yet she knew the words. She knew the phrases. She was PC, a feminist, against rape fantasies and everything deemed any bit problematic.

Yet she still raped my friends. She still touched children.

She still did what she did and no matter how much she denies it, she is a monster of a human being.

After I called her out on Tumblr in 2014, which I only did bc she was using her blog to get nudes from people and plan meetups with minors, she still managed to get enough following to become a mod in a popular lesbian gaming discord and subreddit a few years later, and did all of it again in 2020. To so many other people.

I cried reading the subreddit I found.

She wants to deny everything she did, to call me a liar, but I have video and picture that prove she was there when these things happened. She did not want pics taken while she was at my house for "stalker reasons"

I realize she didn't wanna get caught now.

I hate her.

I hate myself for this. I hate myself for not having it as bad as the people she actually assaulted.

I hate that I got off easy with just mental and emotional abuse and gaslighting and grooming.

I cannot trust people who speak out as venomously as she did against "problematic content"

The people who do horrible things irl don't get cancelled. They keep doing what they can. And they find sneakier ways to keep doing it. They keep their audience and move on.

The people who enjoy shit that's fucked up in fantasy are some of the nicest and most comforting and accepting people I've met, they understand it's just fantasy and make sure people KNOW it is fantasy. They're usually marginalized, disabled, abuse victims, ect and they get told to kill themselves, to delete. They lose their jobs.

This is not okay.

My abuser still walks around, still exists in fandom spaces.

Every time she gets accused of stuff people don't take it seriously bc of how often the term gets tossed around.

I knew a group of cosplayers who called someone a pedophile simply bc they didn't like them and wanted their accounts to get deleted.

I knew a group who would explicitly go into questionable fic tags and "try to find where the author lives/works"

Stop making the terms ""rape" and "pedophile" a joke. Stop reporting fic tagged properly of like older aged up teens to the fucking FBI. Stop telling people to kill themselves. Stop doxxing people minding their own business.

Stop hurting actual victims. Talk to people who work to help victims on what actually helps. Talk to therapists and research fiction vs reality stuff before spouting shit that makes people afraid of you.

Whatever.

God that long Twitter thread post got me remembering the fucked up shit my ex abusive friend put me through

[mariyekos]

Okay grabbing the tags bc yeah these are important

#it's not a ship fic just two guys talking#with credo having a religious crisis while dante's just kind of. there. and not sure how he feels#mostly dante's tired snd he kind of feels a mox of pity and disdain for credo#dante isn't a perfect guy. if you asked him he'd say it's debatable whether he's even a good guy#but that doesn't mean he can't still dislike credo's complicity in crimes. and think they can BOTH be bad people#really what dante hates are bad people who don't know they're bad people. people without remorse.#people who can do bad things and walk away without guilt#credo hasn't. he's obviously very very guilty and tortured by it#but dante also doesn't like watching someone wallow in self-pity while doing nothing (which may or may not be hypocritical)#he can and will grant no absolution. trying to absolve yourself of guilt via another is insanity to dante#dante can't do that for credo. credo didn't hurt dante so it's not his place to forgive credo and he's honestly kind of offended-#-credo would come to him for that. which credo did NOT come to dante for. explicitly. (bc he kind of did even if credo wont admit it)

but anyway yeah dante doesn't think he can do anything for credo but he ALSO doesn't like watching people suffer (usually sometimes he doesn't really care but credo is in a weird place bc dante doesn't care about him but nero does and kyrie does (who nero cares about) so dante's semi-invested by proxy). so he sort of begrudgingly helps just a little bit. not because he's granting credo any absolution. he's just. helping a little. it's not gonna fix credo forever. but if credo wants forgiveness so much then he should go out and do something about it rather than dumping all of his regrets and responsibilities on some guy he's only spoken to a handful of times that has a life of his own. you really want to do something credo? then do it!

(something something dante being really set in his ways and not changing but being a hypocrite who can't stand it in others so he pushes them to change for the better even if he wont' change himself. because he deserves the mess he's made for himself but seeing others in messes they also kind of deserve makes him feel conflicted and while sometimes he'd do nothing credo's earned just enough points to make dante put in just a liiiiitle bit of effort to push credo in the right direction. but not in a religious way, datne insists. he's not a god. sparda wasn't a god. fortuna's whole religion thing was ridiculous. this is a one time thing and credo should NOT look for a repeat because it's not happening but dante wants him out of his hair so yeah. he'll help just a little. but that's it. the rest is up to credo and dante does NOT want to be bothered. (but if credo really did kick the bucket, dante would check in on nero and kyrie occasionally, even if only in the capacity of a patron who sends over a sign and maybe some money or something. he's got a heart yet.))

more in the morning but i. need sleep so bad goodnight!!!!!!!

Trying to work on the Dante + Credo post-DMC4 "I'm not your god (but I'll help you anyway)" fic again and I feel like I've got the core ideas fleshed out well, but I'm struggling to get it into proper fic format... The idea is that Credo survives DMC4 but is wasting away, so he goes to Dante to basically ask him to look after Nero and Kyrie, but has some uh. Religious moments. Dante wants Credo to stop treating him like he's special because he's not, but Credo can't help it because Dante feels Special whether he wants to admit it or not.

There's a lot of religious guilt and an exploration of Credo's complicity with (in?) Sanctus/The Order's crimes, plus a core feeling of a questionable faith that may or may not actually produce results tied into questions of what a god really is, what Dante would be as the son of that "god," and whether someone must earn salvation themselves or if they can reach for it for the sake of others. Which is all phrased terribly but it's late and the whole point of this post is that I'm trying to figure out how to make these ideas actually sound good so. Yeah it's all messy. Hopefully I'll figure it out eventually. I've been trying to write this fic for three and a half months.