#really really fuckign good dude this one slaps holy shit

[unknownarmageddon]

cross felt like kicking rocks.

there was no other way to describe it, he just wanted to kick rocks.

he was bored. so damn bored.

day in day out, it was just the stale air, looped crackly music, and that stupid, shrill chime every time the door opened and the next customer shuffled in.

it was so boring.

"come again," he muttered, tearing off the receipt and slapping it in the woman's hand, dropping her change with it.

she didn't answer him, or really even seem to acknowledge that he was a person, just taking her bag, grabbing her devil of a child and pulling them away from the candy rack, and leaving.

cross stared out the glass door, his eyes darting around, from the rumbling train across the street to the rundown shack sitting beside the old snowcone shop, and then to the trees, where he could see the red glow of the setting sun.

the gas station lights flickered on outside over the gas pumps.

the employees door creaked open, and his coworker, a rough looking rabbit monster with ragged fur, well into his forties, limping in.

"sweet syg, kid, you look like you're gonna bash yer' skull in," the guy muttered upon seeing cross, and cross wanted to laugh. he had been considering it.

"slow day, k.p."

"ain't it always?"

it was routine. k shoved his ears though his cap, pulled on his apron, and put his nametag on, and they swapped places. cross caught flashes of k's golden tooth, the rather unpleasant monster's expression already set in a snarl.

his snout wrinkled up as an rv rolled up outside, parking longways over three different parking spots. campers.

"good luck, cape," cross offered, and the guy spat on the floor, his foot thumping. his ears twisted as the doors opened, that annoying chirp beeping to announce entry.

cross ducked out the back, leaving k. if he were in a better mood, he'd stay behind to offer some tolerable company, but he was in a foul mood himself.

cross's old truck sputtered, coughing to life, and he backed out of his spot, pulling around the gas station, wincing at the group of six he could see inside the gas station.

the drive home was, as always, uninteresting, cross's mouth set in a bitter line.

two weeks.

he pulled into the a parking lot, going straight to his usual spot, closest to the stairs that went up to his apartment. the car turned off with a click, and cross sat in the dark cab, staring out the window, his hands resting on the steering wheel.

two. weeks.

his knuckles creaked and he slipped his hands from the steering wheel, snatching up a bag from the middle seat and opening his door. he slid out of his truck, slamming the door and locking it, shoving his keys into his pocket, his jaw set.

he started up the stairs, damn near stomping, the phrase in his head still, bouncing around. two weeks, two weeks, two weeks.

cross unlocked his door with jerky movements, swinging it open and shutting it harshly behind him, twisting the deadlock over and kicking his shoes off.

cigarette smoke.

two weeks.

cross didn't bother taking his jacket off then, his grip on his bag tightening, and he started into the apartment, prowling into the living room, immediately looking at the fire escape-

"cross," killer greeted, and cross threw down his bag, shedding his jacket as he stormed across the room, hurling his jacket aside and grabbing killer by the arm, yanking killer into the room. the cigarette tumbled down into the pavement down below.

killer yelped, fully just falling backwards, the only reason the two of them didn't fall over being that cross kept going, dragging killer to his couch.

"where the fuck have you been!" cross hissed, and killer looked like he'd been slapped, clearly caught off guard.

"wh-"

"you said two weeks," cross snapped, and oh how badly he wanted to hit killer. to knock him upside the head, hopefully knocking some sense into that thick skull.

"two weeks!!" cross held up two fingers in killer's face, and killer leaned away from cross's shaking hand, that stupid, stupid grin on his face, like he didn't care.

"aw, didja miss me that much, baby?"

cross grabbed killer by the collar, dragging him up to snarl in his face, "it's been three fucking months, killer!! THREE."

"work got a little busy, sweetheart, it's not that-"

cross kissed him, and killer went stiff, his fingers digging into cross's arm in surprise. cross was burning hot with his anger, demanding. killer's eyes started to slip shut, grip relaxing slightly, giving in to the demand cross pushed against him, opening up easily, eager as always.

a growl rumbling in cross's chest, and then killer was hissing, and jerking back, though he didn't get far. cross's teeth dug into killer's tongue, holding him in place, and killer pushed at cross's chest, patting him aggressively. this was not sexy, just weird and painful, and--

cross bit him harder, for good measure, and let go, and killer immediately retracted his tongue, covering his mouth as well with a bitter expression, rubbing at his teeth.

cross glared at him, and killer met him with a glare of his own, finally reading the room, and he still didn't seem apologetic one bit.

the asshole.

"you know i don't like broken promises."

"i never fuckin' promised you nothin'."

liar.

"you said you'd be back in two weeks," cross repeated, releasing killer and letting him fall back onto the couch. killer grunted, quick to push himself back up, loathe to even look like he was giving up any ground.

"i never promised that."

"so you've said."

killer scowled, and pushed himself up from the couch, "what is your deal?? the fuck did i do to you??"

"i fucking waited for you, do you know how fucking-" cross bit his tongue, and shook his head, turning away with a low growl, muttering under his breath, before he said, "you can't fucking vanish on me."

killer bristled, and his soul wobbled, jagged around the edges for a moment. "as if that's something new? we've been friends for how long? you should know by now that i tend to vanish whenever i fucking please."

"you can't vanish on me after the way you fucking--"

cross ran a hand over his skull, his expression frustrated, as he blurted, "you scared me, you asshole."

killer, the fucker, his immediate response was to snort, and coo, "so you did miss me? aww, crossyyy."

"of course i fucking missed you," cross snapped, "it's been fuckin- you-"

there it was. the wobble in his voice. he was clinging to his anger but the relief at seeing killer back, unharmed, was really working against him.

"next time, don't fucking- don't tell me you'll only be two weeks and then not come back," cross muttered irately, and killer slid himself right up into cross's space, rising up to kiss at cross's jaw with featherlight pecks, and cross huffed, grabbing killer by the elbow and manhandling him where he could duck down and kiss him proper.

killer hummed, petting cross's cheek, almost patronizing, but cross knew him. he could hear the faint note of genuine affection in killer's tone as he pulled back, chuckling. "you're such a fuckin sappy dork."

cross knocked their foreheads together, "i've only just changed my mind about kicking you out, don't push it."

-storytime anon

rental suits....

i did not know at ALL where to take this dude this story wrote itself

OUHHHHHH??? FUCKING BANGER DUDE

[cassyapper]

OKAY IVE ACTUALLY PLAYED TWO SESSIONS SINCE MY LAST POST SO IM GONNA COMBINE THEM HERE SORRY FOR THE LENGTH BUT,,IVE COME SO FAR I DONT WANNA STOP NOW

this is gonna be very messy cause i WILL be jumping back and forth as things come back to mind so uhh pls enjoy this absolute ramble <3

anyway. i continued playing omori and boy do i have some Thoughts

so first session; i went through the pyre(something i forgot the full name sob) forest/sprout mole village/sweetheart’s castle in one go and let me TELL YOU. DOING THAT WAS FUCKING INSANE I WENT NUTS holy shit.

so anyway.

pyre forest!!!! the lil race against the big spider coming after u for disturbing the smaller spiders mechanic was very fun i had a lot of fun figuring out the best routes to take. i know normally mechanics like that lead to ppl getting frustrated cause u have to keep retrying but i had a lot of fun!!!! sum annoyance but good natured type, th kind that just makes u try harder u know? i just enjoyed it JKFN;FN; candles in the foggy forest....now That is an aesthetic

the rare bear scared the fuckin shit out of me i remember it didn’t attack me straight away so i was like “aw (:” but then when i press x on him it takes me to a BATTLE SCREEN AND SUDDEN THAT MF IS TERRIFYING I WAS LIKE WHWHWHWHWKJDNJ. very funny i honestly wished i recorded my reaction

also omori is afraid of drowning...................................i am breathing heavily. i think whatever happened to mari is related to at least one of the things omori is scared of. so either heights, spiders, or drowning it seems. spiders doesnt seem super likely as a contributor to her death, and while falling from a height is more realistic, such a senseless way of dying doesnt seem to rlly fit ? with the vibe i get from the kiddos in the real world. which makes me think maybe drowning/otherwise suffocating is how she died...but we’ll see. also due to the forgotten library part, we know omori explicitly feared spiders/drowning before mari died so it’s also probable im jus talking out my ass here but still,,,,thoughts

also this motherfucker?

literally fucking terrifying. IT’S BODY IS MADE OF SUCC’D SPROUT MOLES...i still have no idea what exactly it was doing to them but jesus h christ!!!! evil and fucked up. do not feel bad for curbstomping it

sprout mole village!!!! very cute, im v excited to send that one dude his brother’s care package. i like how, when theyre not lost, sprout moles can be real endearing lil guys,,,theyre not my fav lil enemies but (:

also for some reason omori is the first game ive played where i really care about getting achievements ? so i literally did the back and forth on my save file just to get all the season sprout mole achievements JKDJFJ;. i ended up sticking w spring tho before moving on for real cause spring is my fav season irl (:

also i felt SO BAD for cutting down that one sprout mole’s chistmas tree he was just trying to celebrate but i wanted to see that present and coincidentally becoming a christmas ruiner was an achievement so all’s fair in love and war i suppose

ALSO. th fuckin plant monster thing under the scientist sprout mole’s room. major little shop of horror vibes from the design, absolutely adored it!!!!! originally i did  just cut the wire holding the piano over it, ending it in one go, but i was very curious abt it so i reloaded a save file to actually fight it and

i know it only spread that gas to make the kiddos happy cause being happy reduces attack i think ? it decreases attack/defense but seeing the kiddos smile so much was nice (:

however

omori...sunny....son boy.........u good ?

and now. sweetheart

the way the sprout moles completely adore and depend on sweetheart gives me such awful evil vibes and combined with such a luxurious background was fucking incredible

sweetheart herself, speaking of. bitch (sorta affectionately, certainly not derogatory)

i talked to every sprout mole in the audience before taking my seat and i literally dont know why. even when i picked up the pattern of where the unique dialogue could be found (usually the sprout moles farthest right) i still talked to all of them......just in case ? i have no idea. i dont know why i did that. i feel it’s important that i note it tho

LMAO SO WHEN SPROUT MOLE MIKE DID THE MINUTE OF SILENCE FOR YE OLD SPROUT MOLE

I LITERALLY FELT SO FUCKING BAD LMAO I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD NO!!!!!! I DID THAT!!! I KILLED HIM!!! OH MY GOD!!! I WONDER HOW AWKWARD OMORI KEL HERO AND AUBREY FELT IN THE AUDIENCE HOLY SHIT THEY HAD FRONT ROW SEATS TO SPROUT MOLE MIKE’S MOURNING!!! MY GOD FJKFN;;

also sprout mole mike describing 3′7″ inches as ”towering” was the FUNNIEST shit i have ever seen. also i have to wonder, since sweetheart made up the whole show of sweetheart’s quest for hearts in the first place, if she was seriously down to marry a sprout mole if one suited her fancy. jus v funny to me honestly. SPEAKING of sweetheart’s dating patterns I NOTICED THOSE FEM SKELETONS IN THE DUNGEON!!!!! BI SWEETHEART!!!! SHE’S JUST AS DOWN FOR GIRLS AS SHE IS BOYS

i know TECHNICALLY not everyone is in the dungeon for failing to be a good enough suitor but STILL...COME ON. THIS WAS BEFORE WE KNEW THAT. SWEETHEART BI I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

anyway

when the lights when out and lightning struck the third contestant, i knew Immediately something was gonna go down. and when the mustache sprout mole was like “oh yes!! u!! in the striped pjs!! u absolute beast ur perfect!!!” i KNEW hero had just been selected as the replacement i was goign completely fucking nuts i was like OH MY GODNFNG; HIS HEART IS ALREADY TAKEN BY MARI!!!!!!! STOP

i ended up taking so many screenshots during this part cause i was going feral so here take a glance just cause i love, uh, hero

OUR HERO IN SHINING ARMOR DJLBH;KFJB

also GOD FUCKING DAMMIT IM SHORTER THAN HERO

hero shaking on the stage when he was introduced...oh my HEART....IM SO FOND FOR THIS BOY WTF!!!!! DKJDN;N

this is not really NEWS to me since it’s implied hero is tall but like come ON..... sorry just every time i find out a character is explicitly taller than me i need to huff about it, moving on,

HERO FUCKS

sorry i just have so many screenshorts during this aprt cause i was going fucking crazy but

literally terrifying! sweetheart bathes in that shit!! christ!

is blood good for ur skin? i imagine, so long as like...gore isnt in it and it’s solely blood it cant be BAD necessarily......but good ? regardless very fucked up. besides the fact that well, uh, BLOOD, blood is also sticky as hell. ur telling me sweetheart willinglhy bathed in that shit? disgusting. at least thin it out

anyway I HAD SO MUCH FUN DOING THE PUZZLES AT SWEETHEART’S CASTLE....FROM THE DUNGEONS TO THE KITCHENS TO THE BALLROOM TO THE LIBRARY TO THE GARDENS JUST EVERYTHING!!!! IT WAS SO FUN I ENJOYED FIGURING IT OUT SO MUCH IT WAS LITERALLY DELIGHTFUL...I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH THE GAMEPLAY IS SO FUCKING EPIC I LITERALLY HAVE SO MUJCH FUN.......OH MY GOD I JUST. INCREIDBLE!!!! FUCK

also the lil sir maximus bit.........i honestly felt really awful over having to kill them ): i think i even tried running once but it wouldnt let me...it hurt man ): they were just a family....

um but anyway,

i think it was rlly sweet how aubrey protested to the wedding cause she was worried abt sweetheart,,,like i cant rlly explain it idk how to put it into words,,like sweetheart is clearly not mentally well and having an episode, and aubrey being the only one to say “hey what ur doing is self-destructive and isolating” just mmmh. she cares a lot,,,and *i* care aubrey

also sweetheart’s battle theme fucking SLAPPED...SO GODDAMN HARD IM STILL QUAKING OVER IT....FUCKING BANGER YO!!!!!! INCREDIBLE

ah but alas

BASIL........I NOTICED THAT IT WAS HIS GHOST/SHADOW DURING THE EXIT FROM OTHERWORLD AS WELL BUT JUST FUCK

im so worried about basil ):

and it being so obvious that none of the others can see...........them asking omori if he’s okay.....oh my god. i go nuts

and then...the forgotten library part

i literally cried, again, oh my fucking god

these kids loved each other so much they ADORED the time they spent with each other and im QUAKING to know WHAT HAPPENED TO MARI......HOW DID THE FALLOUT GO. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

i know there are multiple endings to this game and on god i am not QUITTING until i get the happiest ending there is for these kids im literally a goddamn fuckign mess oh my god

MARI SHWOING UP IN THE LIBRARY AT ONE POINT AND LEADING OMORI...........IM LTIERALLY GOIGN INSANE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HE LOVED HIS SISTER SO MUCH HE’S SO CLEARLY LOST WITHOUT HER I CANT FUCKING DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW

GOD

okay sorry i just. ive said ti before but the grief in this game is so real and palpable and it aches, it aches so bad. also the white egret orchids in the library...i see u

but regardless.... session two real world electric boogaloo

LOVE that kel is like “so i need to run errands but u wanna come with me right? of course u do!” like fuck i rlly do. kel is just so delightful i would literally do anything to spend time with him

ALSO i noticed u can just refuse to open the door both times kel’s knocked now and it makes me wonder....if u could choose to ignore kel ? and then venture out urself or just ? i wonder what would even happen if u chose to not open the door. im CERTAINLY not doing it myself at the very least not this playthrough but i am curious...i bet that’s how u get a bad ending, by not talking w kel

but anyway....

aubrey and her gang not saying anything in the pizza parlor........i jus think abt that is all

ALSO!! pet rocks!!!!!!!!! LOVE this lil thing it’s so cute. jus rock paper scissors it babey

speaking of lil bits, love all the mini quests in the real world...it’s just rlly fun and builds up this cute lil town........it also makes me think that whatever happened to mari cant have been anything except an accident, bc no one comments on what a tragedy it was to omori. like if it was murder, there’s no way such a horrific situation wouldnt engulf the town for a bit and sweep over it for weeks at least, but that just doesnt seem to have happened. this is def me reading too into it tho;; point is neighbors nice (: also i got the seashell necklace and i go apeshit

ALSO......THE FUCKING...........CHURCH. I VISITED WITH KEL ON A COMPLETE WHIM CAUSE I WAS CURIOUS IF THE PASTOR WOULD TALK MORE ABT AUBREY BUT NO. INSTEAD HE TALKS ABT THE WEIRD VIBE FORM THE GRAVEYARD HE’S GETTING!!! AND THE DUDE WHO CHILLS IN THE GRAVEYARD SAYS SHIT ABT THE SPIRITS GETTING READY FOR SOMEONE TO JOIN THEM!!!! BITCH WAHT THE FUCK

THERE’S NOF UCKING WAY THIS ISNT ABOUT BASIL. THERE IS NO!!! WAY!!!! I SWEAR ON GOD IF BASIL DIES I WILL LOSE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ESP CAUSE THERE IS LITERALLY NO OTHER WAY HE COULD DIE EXCEPT SUICIDE THAT’S WHAT IT HAS BEEN IMPLYING OVER AND OVER I GO NUTS I GO APESHIT NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK

OKAY SORRY I JUST. HHHHHHHHHHH

baby has acquired baby

kel’s family is rlly cute,,,,v heartwarming. i trust them

i do worry abt like...the stark difference between recognizing kel’s accomplishments and hero’s...i just idk. i just keep thinking abt that bit in kel’s story abt hero’s depression when his parents focused on hero and ignored him, and i just. kel’s family is good People but i worry if kel has a good support system...i jus........): i am watching

ahh THE BASIL MISSING PART MADE MY HEART LITERALLY FUCKING DROP..I WAS SO FUCKING PANICKED I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD THIS IS IT BASIL IS DEAD

THANKFULLY HE WASNT BUT HOLY GOD HOW THAT WHOLE SITUATION PANNED OUT MADE ME GO NUTS!!!!!!! BASIL...AUBREY...HER GANG.......FUCK OH M YOGD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

THANK G O D I SNOOPED AROUND KEL’S HOUSE BEFORE LEAVING I WOULD HAVE H A T E D TO FIGHT THEM ALL AT ONCE IM GLAD I WAS ABLE TO JUST PEPPER SPRAY THEM JESUS CHRIST

oh my god kim like asking for aubrey all concerned before deciding to trust her and leaving.....kim i diagnose u with lesbain

the whole fucking. basil almost drowning scene. i seriously feel like ive changed like as a person over it. i am thinking . i am thinking. i am only evee thinking about mari and how omori just loved her so much and how the thought of her gave him strength. th pic of her ghost holding omori’s hand in the water made me cry

MMMM BUT. HERO!!!

I DIE I DIE I DIE HE’S SO PRETTY FUCK ALSO HIM PICKING UP BASIL WOOOOOOOO THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT YEAHHHHHHHH

god i feel so bad about leaving aubrey tho. shes so clearly not okay and she so clearly did not mean to push basil in and oh my GOD I JUST...PLEASE....PLEASE CAN WE JUST TLAK TO HER I NEED TO TLAK TO HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED TO FUCK

the ghosts of omori and aubrey on the swings made me cry out like i had been physically assaulted

AHH BUT THEN TAKING BASIL HOME AND WHILE HE’S IN HIS BED HE JUST SAYS “oh sunny...there’s not way out of this...is there?” I LITERALLY GO BUCKWILD APESHIT INSANE STUPDI!!!!!! BASIL YOURE PUTTING UP A LOT OF ALARMING FLAGS HERE!!! PLEASE DO NOT FUCKING DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK. CHRIST. HELL. SHIT. THIS GAME IS DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY

GOD

oh my god but the day ending with hero and kel sleeping over at omori’s house...im kdnd im jkdim im not uhm okay THEY BUILT A BLANKET FORT PLEASE..I LOVE THEM

goddd hero going into the piano room....playing sum........and then asking omori abt the song he and mari used to play on violin...and then THE TITLE SCREEN MUSIC STARTS PLAYING....HI. HI HELLO HI YOU CANT FUCKIGN DO THAT HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOUFBJFGJNGN;EJNE; IM GOIGN NUTS

also the name omori comes from the piano.............interesting...i wonder why sunny likes being called omori in the dreamscape...

god but omori not having a srs hallucination cause he’s w his friends and he feels safe...im gonna sob

However. i did glance into the bathroom mirror. AND INSTEAD OF THE EYE MF IT’S A DISTORTED AS HELL GHOST MARI???IM SO FUCKIGN SCARED. IM SO SCARED. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK? CREEPY AS HELL!!!

ohh my god this GAME

so finally i ended up in whitespace again. do NOT like that omori is completely alone in the world!!! what the FUCK!!!!!!!! I AM SO SCARED AT ALL TIMES. im literally about to go play sum more tho after dinner so i will see what happens. god i jsut......this game is so fucking good it has me by the balls dude. SO glad i decided to play it bruh

anyway thanks for reading all of this if u did, it’s an absolute monster ik and ur a real one

[hyunsracha]

poetry —  kim seungmin

word count: 2k

summary: why are crushes so difficult?

“why are crushes so difficult?”

this was kim seungmin’s dilemma.

he flops down on his best friend’s bed, glaring at the romance movie posters plastered on the walls.

“what’s so difficult about them, minnie? they’re fun! you get butterflies and blushy and you start trying to write poetry...all that fun stuff?” his best friend, hwang hyunjin, didn’t even look up from his notes to speak.

hyunjin was the sappiest, most love-filled person seungmin knew. he loved romance movies and dating and being in love.

seungmin, on the other hand, had never had a crush before. sure, he’s been attracted to people, but no …. poetic thoughts.

“p-poetry?”

“yeah. do you….oh my god.” hyunjin stood from his desk chair, “do you write poetry about y/n?”

“n-no!”

“KIM SEUNGMIN.” and he pounced. he landed right next to seungmin on the bed, hands coming out to smack at the younger boy as he squealed.

“show it to me, show it to me!!!! i’m your best friend, minnie!”

“WHICH IS WHY IT’S WEIRD GET AWAY FROM ME-”

hyunjin huffed, his bottom lip jutting out.

“fine. but you’re really whipped, you know.”

“yeah. tell me about it.”

“okay! well, for example, today y/n came into the lunchroom and you spilled your milk-”

“HYUNJIN I DIDN’T MEAN- okay.” seungmin sighed, turning to face the boy he ‘unfortunately’ called his best friend, “what do i do?”

“have you ever thought about, i dunno, confessing?”

“eat my shorts.”

hyunjin went back to his desk, returning his attention to his math homework, “then sit and be in love and fucking Perish.”

it wasn’t seungmin’s fault he didn’t wanna confess!!

maybe he would confess if everyone else wasn’t >:(((

he understood that you were like … super pretty and nice and smart and perfect in every way (◕ ◡ ◕)

but it was like someone new confessed to you Every Day

even people from other schools!!!! >:(((

one day, he was leaving the school, and he saw you on the sidewalk with a boy from ur school’s Rival School

and the boy was blushing >:( and he had a flower in his hand >:(

but u rejected him!

just like u rejected Everyone

and he didn’t understand,,,

u could have Anyone U Wanted

whatever! he liked u better single

it meant he still maybe had a chance :(

to be honest, seungmin doesn’t remember when he first starting liking u

maybe it was when you two got paired up in chemistry and you knew Nothing about chemistry

“okay so put in one drop of the clear.”

“w-what’s in the clear?”

“it’s water, y/n.”

“oh!” and you blushed and seungmin’s heart went JFSGJSKH

or maybe it was during hoco when he was just chilling, drinking some punch, chomping on a cookie

and you came up to him :((( all shy :((( and u looked SO GOOD

and you asked him to dance with you

yeah he choked on his cookie a little bit but then that boy was ON THE DANCE FLOOR

surprisingly, seungmin Did know how to dance

being best friends with the co-captain of the dance team since kindergarten has its perks!

u were a lil shocked too like that mf just Took You In His Arms and started swaying and u were like HUH????

when did seungmin become a MAN

he didn’t, he’s just a very sophisticated Boy.

hyunjin thinks seungmin started liking you when you first met

seungmin thinks hyunjin is fucking stupid

he was FIVE and all seungmin cared about when he was 5 was sour gummy worms

“isn’t that all u care about now?”

“sour gummy worms AND Y/N!!!”

so yeah, seungmin was #whipped

AND THE POETRY THING KSJGSKGJ ok hear him out

it was 4am and he had spent like 30 years studying for a chemistry test and he was stressed to the Max and just wanted to lay down

and when he lays down, his mind naturally turns to U

and in his sleep deprived state his mind was just . Mush .

so he dragged his body back to his desk and just ~wrote~

yeah, he couldn’t look you in the eye the next day but he got his feelings out.

he couldn’t help his crush on u, especially when u were in his group of friends

hyunjin, jisung, felix, seungmin, you, and jeongin

sound like chaos? because It Is.

u and seungmin have basically become the parents of this little friend group

“jeongin let me see what u have”

“a knife”

“NO”

and

“How did jisung get on the ceiling.”

“FELIX TOLD ME I COUDL BE SPIDERMAN”

“JISUNG GET THE FUCK DOWN”

of course, being the parents meant a lot of … Teasing

especially from hyunjin, bc he was the only one who knew about seungmin’s crush

hyunjin: so when’s the wedding :D

seungmin, halting his onion slicing: Excuse Me?

you: hehe whenever seungmin’s ready!!  i know he wants to go to law school first!!

seungmin, chopping onions at LIGHTNING SPEED: HAHAHA OKAY Y/N

you always said things like that and it made him JFKDJK

one time the others were teasing him bc he dyed his hair red and they kept calling him cherry and u just went:

“so WHAT if he looks like a cherry he’s my CUTE cherry” and u grabbed his hand and glared at everyone like -__________-

seungmins brain: WHW-WW LIPSTICK

seungmins heart: H UHU H MECEHRY

seungmins mouth: YOU- WHAT - HUH- ME?

and after that :(((( u started calling him cherry :((( even after he dyed his hair again :((

back to the main point: seungmin’s whipped and he doesn’t know how much longer he can take this but he Won’t Confess

hyunjin’s got a plan!

he calls it How Does Y/N Feel and he swears it’s a secret

it’s not, he wrote it on his whiteboard in pretty pastel markers

“what’s this plan of yours, sweetie?”

“MOM CAN U GET OUT IM A SECRET AGENT”

“ok mr secret agent come downstairs and eat your peas”

“MOM”

so basically his plan was to ask if u liked seungmin but hes VERY EXCITED ABOUT IT OK

“hey y/n~~~” he sang as he sat down next to you in geometry.

“jinnie!!! how are you today :D” ugh look at you, an angel.

“good, about to be better...or worse.”

“why?”

“i need to ask you something.”

“Ominous!”

“do you like seungmin?”

“ya.”

hyunjin: OUSUGH?

you: how did u say that out loud

“YOU LIKE SEUNGMIN-”

you slapped a hand over his mouth, “KEEP YOUR FUCKING MOUTH SHUT JESUS CHRIST-

i thought you knew i like him??? like...i’m not hiding it?”

hyunjin knew seungmin wouldn’t believe it if he just told him

so he was audio recording the whole thing on his phone :) what a sneaky dude

so after geometry ended he fuckign NYOOOMED to english

“SEUNGMIN SEUNGMIN SEUNGMING HSJG SJISEUGMGING”

“dude did u do crack or something holy shit-”

“SHUT UP LISTEN TO THIS.”

“if this is another one of your boyfriend’s songs i swear to god-”

but he put in hyunjin’s earbuds (not airpods) anyway

“t-this isn’t jisung….”

and he Listened

I Thought You Knew I Like Him.

“are u fucking with me jin. is this a fucking skit i swear to god if you're MESSING WITH ME-”

“they don’t even know i was recording them.” hyunjin giggled, the snake.

“oh so you’re a total douche.”

“i just did you the hugest favor and you just called me a douche...okay! friendship cancelled, give me my phone, put your stupid airpods back in-”

“don’t call them Stupid!”

“sorry, i can’t hear you, i don’t have my STUPID AIRPODS IN!”

seungmin couldn’t concentrate for the entirety of english

your words kept swirling around his brain, and he resorted to just doodling hearts on the margins of his papers.

and then he went to Chemistry!

there you were :((( in your cute little lab coat and safety goggles :(((

seungmin didn’t think anyone would ever pull off a lab coat and goggles like you did

“h-hey y/n…”

“hey cherry! ready to make some chemistry? :D”

he inhaled, knowing that there was a chance he was going to regret his next statement for the rest of his life:

“i think you and i already have enough chemistry.”

now it was ur turn to JKSGJKH

you flushed a bright pink, turning to your lab table to hide the shy smile growing on your face

“yeah?” your voiced cracked a little bit

and seungmin knew

“yeah.”

class went by quickly, with the two of you exchanging Looks before quickly looking away

and then you had lunch! and since you ate lunch together, you walked together

this time, You wanted to be the daring one

so you were walking through the halls side by side

and after a minute you just …. Held His Hand a little bit

and he squeezed your hand in return and your tummy felt like JAOGHNJ

then you entered the cafeteria and your friends’ eyes immediately went ZOOM on your interlocked hands

“W-W-W-WHAT IS THIS?” jeongin, the poor baby, spluttered

“are you out of the loop? they’re in love!” jisung was practically shooting heart eyes at the two of you

“no one tells me anything.” jeongin pouted

“are we Not In Love, jisung.”

“jinnie u know i love you but this is FRESH and it’s FUN let me ogle.”

“JISUGN???”

felix just smiled at you two, patting the space next to him, “i always knew this was gonna happen.”

“what are you losers talking about?” seungmin asked.

“yeah, nothing happened. seungmin and i are just friends.”

“you- just- HUH????”

“he hasn’t asked me out yet.” you shrugged, pulling your lunch box out of your backpack.

seungmin gasped, dropping your hand to cover his heart, “do i have to?”

“i deserve it, you animal. i’ve only been waiting since middle school.”

MIDDLE SCHOOL???

well, this was a shock.

“MIDDLE SCHOOL???”

“yeah? you kicked that dude in the shin for me. it was nice. no one’s ever done that for me before.”

“t-the shins? you started liking him over a shin kick, y/n?” felix deadpanned.

“i was like 13 can you shut the fuck up? i don’t just like him because he kicked a guy in the shins for me.”

“oh? why else do you like him?”

“we’re not having this conversation right now, jeongin.”

“oh hell yes we are.”

“SEUNGMIN??”

but he just :D at you and you were whipped so :///

“Okay! i like him because he’s...just a good guy. like he’s smart and he’s funny and he’s….really cute and he would probably kick jisung in the shin if i asked him to.”

“i would.”

“bet!”

“okay!”

“hey what no- OW SEUNGMIN!” jisung whined, pulling his leg up on the seat

“kiss it better jinnie-”

“jisung no.”

“JINNIE :((((“

you grinned, looking over at seungmin.

he was already looking, and you could practically See the heart eyes he was sending you.

did it make you super flustered? yeah. did you mind? not really.

“so,” you leaned in closer, speaking quiet enough so that your friends couldn’t hear over whatever they were yelling about this time, “you gonna ask me out or not?”

“i’ll walk you home?”

“i’ll be waiting.”

the rest of the day went by Painfully slow

but after your last class, there he was !!!!

and he was walking you home !!!

and he held your hand !!!!

“let me get something from my house real quick.” seungmin lived closer to the school than you did, so you always passed by his house.

you waited on the porch while he ran outside

he came back in a minute, flushed and holding a folded piece of paper.

“here.” he shoved the paper in your hand, taking your free hand in his and dragging you along.

“MINNIE let me read this!!!!” you whined.

he sighed, stopping on the sidewalk to let you read it clearly.

you had to reread a few lines because they were just so pretty.

you didn’t expect something like this from seungmin, he was usually so direct and not so flowery.

but it was beautiful.

“why are you crying WHAT’S WRONG IS IT BAD-”

“SEUNGMIN HHHHHHH” you launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist.

and he held you just back as tightly.

“so uh. do you wanna like….go out with me or something?”

“yes, you big dummy. i would love to.”

[theskyexists]

empress ki

are these koreans gonna go as far as to let this man fall for who he thinks is just some young cool guy?

i mean - they’re not chinese so

this is kinda silly lol. if she really wanted to be let go she could have just punched him. i guess that would have gone too far

this RANDOM assassin almost kills them - he disappears. we good. no worries.

where are her own men????

NOOOOO don’t ruin it

why the fuck would she have developed a feminine slap? i think theyre gonna ruin it. like contact with a male love interest will just forcibly feminise you

ok no she came up with an excuse

god - an openhanded slap from another man lol i can see how that might be quite offensive

she just chills in the crown prince’s bath no prob lol. ok so she locked the door

she just let herself get fuckin shot for this lol

this episode moves super fast but thats fun but i still don’t know how the king and the crown prince are related. the whole hostage thing really messed things up

i just realised that i love the bro/bro mlm stuff if its actually m/f. LOL.and I KNOW it’s going to only last one fuckin episode bc we’re gonna go right back to misgyny and chattel slavery especially for women but yknow

does she remember him?? did she send the bandana? i dont know on which side she really is.

yeah ofc shes the bandana guy. i mean - DUH.

WHY RISK YOUR OWN MEN - WHAT WAS THE PLAN

is this spy gonna get her bandana now???

or are these not her own guys?? THEY ARE

is she playing the king?? like - im still trustworthy though!!!! (or at least my men are) but how could she think to rely on the crown prince???

oh no the cool big sword moustache guy!!! why would he be the spy for the king????????????? what is there to gain??????? HE’S NOT THANK GOD

YES!!!! I LOVE THEM. ‘hit me’ BAM *violently and romantically perches over him to almost stab him*

aww haha the king is attached to seung nyang. too bad you’re an evil bastard she wants to destroy

i can’t quite tell why revealing the salt location drop off point is important or not. i guess it was just and only a test.

was that the guy in blue who volunteered to be shot at? : ‘( ah it’s not.its just some nobody. I guess she couldn’t have known who knew of her blue bandana so she had to hide it. But couldn’t she have told this guy from the very beginning when they were alone?

did the official guard not get told that more people were coming???? LOL. that’s one fuckin mess

HEROIC HORSERIDING YEAAAAAAAA did she not think of a reason for being alive? ‘kill me’ OH MY GOD hahahahaa. smart but so risky (it turns out that the crown prince is the crown prince but the king is the brother of his dad’s)

is there something you want? I THOUGHT YOU WANTED MONEY oh my god this guy is gambling it all lol. oh no, he’s gonna make it too.

it’s always the ‘unrightful’ people that get villainised for wanting power

what the fuck her dad’s gonna kill all her friends and make her into a sex slave? jezus christ how dark (i read a synopsis that she gets sent to yuan after all somehow). on who’s fucking authority? couldn’t they have gotten at the very least a letter from the goddamn ‘auditor’ to protect them

oh my god. just wear your fucking ring on the outside of your goddamn clothes. that was so FUCKING close

wow that was a pretty realistic breakdown

GO SEE HIM HELLO!!!!

she became a fucking COP TO SEE HIM HOLY SHIT LOL

JUST SHOW HIM THE FUCKING RING

did she just leave her band of boys behind???

dude why is this series romance blocking me what the fuck

gotta show that Yuan is backward through furs and beads!!

i do love that this series had the guts to start off with heartbreak. but also to let the female protagonist be a big bi....amorous...?

this show somehow made me feel sympathetic towards a stinkin imperial rich kid. he didn’t ask to be born into a family that would become his death

‘young boy’ *is literally at least 40*

the KING has only 10 men to spare? really?

he’s gonna let his servant get fucking murdered in his stead? yikes. ok so that wasn’t his PLAN no. poor servant guy

so they got her a MATCH - a dirven and smart and powerful king. and a soft and unexperienced and endangered future emperor.

this is so much my fucking THING it’s insane. i don’t even mind that the king is kinda ...average looking.

and she kicks his ASS LOL. and he falls ultimately deeply in love with her. this is incredible.

i wonder if she’s going to hold the death of his servant against him

they didn’t even take his head? stupid. oh i guess that’s for the traitors.

SHE STILL DOESN’T GET ITS REALLY HIM. I THOUGHT SHE WAS SMART

really - she lets the fucking chief get the credit. are you fucking kidding me? fuck this. be smarter! hate having to say that to a character. Be! smarter!

now he gets to be WHY HIDE FROM YOUR BOYFRIEND WHAT THE FUCK. if this is gonna be the whole fuckign show i can’t take it.

im gonna need to know if she keeps fucking hiding. stop hiding! STOP. stop hiding from the important men in your life! what the FUCK. stop hiding from your dad. Stop HIDING FROM YOUR FUCKING BESTO BOYFRIEND

the prince isn’t even upset about his servant’s demise

fucking finally somebody found out seung nyang was the ONE

I love Strong King - I love vulnerable future Emperor

he’s just a stupid indoctrinated kid! somebody should explain to him all the horrors that have been done to people in his name!

we have a sequence in which she’s done great deeds, gets called in, is concerned about how she slapped the important person around lol

we’re gonna get teh exact same for Togon one day

jezus christ that’s a very romantic thing to say to a cool and heroic young guy who saved your skin twice, king. are you - i n l o v e? a lil bromance perhaps?

awww he’s so damn happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

she’s like - fuck. wish she stayed a little more ruffian though. wheres the fucking swagger!

how am i so into this m/m ship. LOL. im really into this stronk man and rogueish ‘boy’ bonding through hardship crisis crossing all rank

im up for her teaching the prince compassion and horror and the way of the world though

I KNOW this is soon going to devolve into a palace drama though so that fucking sucks

why is the emperor a young guy and the brother an old guy. was the emperor the preferred son? from the preferred wife?

has she never heard a guy pee??? i thought she lived with soldiers and shit

why the fuck is she carrying his excrement to the sea when she’s his BODYGUARD. this went differently than i thought

he literally is alone. there is no shift of the guard with him. hello?

what the fuck is this lax bodyguard shit. you need at LEAST two so one can sleep while the other guards.

everytime she bathes im like - ALARM ALARM

this jimbo traitor is so stupid lol

commander - just approach this stupid idiot. be the dad you want to be.

you could just become his son!!! hello????

so you really care about the peoplle huhg? thats why you keep selling off women?

oh my god. is the prince also falling in love with this ��boy’? who embodies the masculine ideal? GOD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH im gonna cry when this is over and she ends up a fucking maid

this romantic fucking epic music as they struggle in a petty fucking competition in teh surf jlsjLKFJSDLJ:FLDSF I LOVE THIS

SHE VIOLENTLY PERCHES ABOVE THIS GUY TOO. ROMANTIC MUSIC

the koreans KNOW what is good. THEY KNOW.

oh this poor guy. please let this guy meet poor people. like. idk. the stolen women made into slaves and shit

yeah yeah they bond without him knowing about losing a parent and wanting revenge

the king is like, MY BOY!! that’s MY boy!! hands off!!!! that’s my dearest bromance boy friend!!!!

oh no - shes going to have to choose who to ride with lol

oh nooooooooo Seung Nyang don’t hurt King boyfriend !

‘he will not take Seung Nyang, will he?’  i had to double take there

I FINALLY understand the appeal of all unassailable men in romance. god, my brain is weird.

give seung nyang to me. dsjfpawejfeawjfljsdkljldsjflkdfsa dude. no. i know this is a love triangle but it is just within good if they do THIS moment right

the prince is a horrible shit

nooooo seung nyang please don’t hurt the king!!! he loves you!!!!

‘why am i burning up inside?’ YOU LOVE HIM!! YOU LOVE SEUNG NYANG!!! you love this guy!!! the koreans are daring lil mfs

where is the ruffian guy with the moustache and big sword?? he was the king’s left hand man when he wasn’t king yet.

the actress has really feminised Seung Nyangs mannerisms and way of movement past few eps (oh it’s a dream)

oh my god they’re no-homo-ing this through a dream. he just FEELS like Seung Nyang is a woman!!! that’s why he’s attracted!!! lol

seung nyang loses her dad. prince doesn’t notice. jezus

he impressed some dudewith his self-righteous dragon heaven propaganda. goddddd. the prince truly does not care how many people have already died for him. WHEN will he become likeable instead of hilariously piteous

just absolutely devastating end scene. shitty k-pop outtro.o hgod

will the prince finally - through seung nyang realise that actaully it fucking sucks that people keep being horribly harmed and killed for his sake?

JEZUS CHRIST I AM ON EPISODE 5 wHAT THE FUCK THIS IS LIKE 60 episodes long. oh my god no.

the thing i like about this show is that she looks believably like a very feminine boy for korean standards.

they keep playing him as childish, selfish and incompetent. but like, soooo many people DIED FOR HIM

hwo didn’t they kill bayan for obviously killing their own guard lol

finally she confronts him with the regular people!!!

what is lord jang doing with them

wow the commander’s beard is long. they been going for a while

well he is suffering - but can’t she get to him through words. make him a better person?

he is asking an important question. ANSWER IT GODDAMNIT

thsi ‘warming’ is so ridiculous haahahaha

*has full view of covered breasts* ‘he is definitely a boy!!!!’

i don’t know what sexuality politics this is - probably very bad ones - if you’re a straight man then you’re attracted to some fundamental femaleness in women!! or something

why is a bite mark evidence

god - these powerful people have enormous egos. they must, it is bred in them.i deserve power and when it is taken from me it sucks so much i can’t breathe!!! well uh yeah - everybody feels that way you ain’t special

she looks so sick

feels empathy for the first time ever. what a wonderful fantasy. that somebody could teach a prince empathy

*goes into town completely uncovered in royal robes which haven’t been weathered at all* ok

‘why did you hide you are a woman?’ what COMPLETE AND UTTER MALE NONSENSE

WOMEN ARE GETTING DRAGGED OFF TO BE SEX SLAVES AND YOU ASK THAT??? ‘sure, im sure you had your reasons’

WHAT FUCKING IDIOT

53:50

so she gets him in and then he betrays her? lol. but does it really matter? the king won’t be tried, there’s no reason for goryeo to be annexed. seung nyang won’t die. etc. he might as well go back to his deadly golden cage without endangering himself.

is it for her dad that she asks this of him? he faints, eh that’s a fine way out.

cant she hug a king back when he hugs her????? come ON

he almost killed his fucking son. these people are so CRAAAYYYZY

*leaves the people most likely to turn on him behind with the prince*

why does he have to reveal this?? what are the stakes here??”

goryeo’s soldiers???????????? what the fuck. i thought he was gonna come up with something clever like - pirates or something. not just ‘oh it was a random weirdo band of soldiers’ no -  ‘under the orders of the king’

WHAT. hes throwing teh whole country to the wolves. if seung nyang doesn’t kill him ill be surprised. seung nyang better get him for this for a thousand fucking years.

so he’s even personally betraying seung nyang. for a tiny chance at power. damn. wow. damn wow.

jezus what a fucking way to leave your daughter! making your last exchange putting yourself down as a father. DUDE. could have ended shit in a better way!

anyway literally cried twice about her losing her dad already

anyway so they both die in her arms. great.

yeaaaaaaah swearing to kill him. good. too bad it’s gonna be like 50 eps of palace maid shit and the prince barely got a taste of poverty

really wonder how traumatising this whole - is revealed as a woman and transferred to the empire as a sex slave thing is going to be - for me i mean

‘he’s probably living well in his homeland’  - how could you trust that your orders will be followed???

this is completely unrealistic wow

doesnt she get a fucking horse

who the fuck was park bhu - the undercop?

oh apparently laughing ugly is an indication of evil for a woman. laughing maniacally is an indication of evil for a man

her archnemesis is gonna unmask her as a woman in public? i think i might have to quit this show at this exact moment.

aaand.....guess ill have to quit.

ok that wasn’t so bad

how did they have women’s silks and makeup with them

she’s literally a martial artist warrior and she can’t fight a rapist attacker with her hands free?

oh god. she’s gonna be all feminine now bc she looks like a girl. oh god. i feel kinda sick.

SHE SUDDENLY DOESN’T HAVE ANY BANGS ANYMORE BUT LONG HAIR

THAT COMB WAS MAGICAL

some classic ‘female body weak’ sexism. love getting that from the beau

i know they’re trying to make danashiri seem unsympathetic but she’s saying fuck you to sexism here. then again it’s because she’s a spoiled elite brat

they really are made for each other

holy shit. this series just goes on and on and on and on and on. i can’t do this.

[the-mf-bread-babies]

loneliness </\///\|/3

a fic by rocco wulfram north, m.d.

(found that name on hardcore baby names)

–chmapter jop–

before the tríp

It was a normal day for the Skullsmashers: go to somewhere, kill people, be gay, sleep, get brunch. Right now was the first part of their daily routine, and they were getting ready for it.

“holy fuck nova could you hurry the shit up i have to brush my fucking teeth you bitch” Ace hissed, knocking repeatedly on the bathroom door. “Fuck You. I'm Going To Go To Hell Itself” Nova gargled back, mouth full of mouthwash. More banging was heard; the door had seen better days.

Several feet away was Jake, all dressed up and ready to go, waiting for the others to get ready. He sat on the couch gayly in the living room down the hall, scrolling through Apocalypse Twitter. ‘every day i throw down an unpeeled boiled egg from the rooftop to simulate fear and unreadiness’ he read, a tweet from Orc's account. What the fuck. Classic Orc.

“ah fuck !! am i late !!” Jake turned around to see Damon panicking and counting the daggers in his pockets. “no no not at all. i just get ready really quickly to throw everyone into a state of disarray” Jake replied in an honest, monotone voice. “come sit down”

Damon sat down nervously next to his captain, knowing he'll ask him for Bambi on the PS2 now. “look. look at them those dumbshits” Jake uttered, pointing to Ace and Nova arguing. “those little bastards are completely unaware that ive put a fake cockroach puppet in the mirror. watch now” he added, pulling out a cheap remote control and pressing a button.

*sound of glass breaking* Jake sighed. “okay maybe that wasn't really the best idea” Nova screamed, running out of the bathroom and confusing Ace. “Fucking Roach!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she yelled, already too far away from them to be heard clearly. “huh. well okay then!” Ace grinned, going into the bathroom.

“i'll guard. you do your thing okay? :-)” Damon said to Jake, smiling mischievously. Jake's heart skipped a beat as he was suddenly flustered by the killer's action. «oh god, shit's just gonna get more complicated from here» he thought, staring into nothingness.

Damon braced himself against the bathroom door, eager to hear Ace's chaotic screaming. “ready ??” Damon asked, sending Jake back to the real world. “hhuh??????? oh yea right” he mumbled before beginning to control the cockroach with the remote. “this shit cost me like 200 bucks so it better be worth it”

HOLY MOTHER OF

F U C K

JAKE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

WHAT THE S H IT DUDE

ace will remember this.

Jake cackled loudly, rolling on the floor and hitting the table with his fist. “LMAOOOOK FUCK YOUUU” he yelled, angering Ace even more. “I WILL GODDAMN SKIN UOUR FUCKIGN ISTINEDSTINES OLD MAN I SWEAR TKC FUCKF” they yelled back, pushing the door repeatedly. “IM GOIND TO FUCKIGN DIR HERE YOU BITCH”

“ah . ace ? could you move a little please ? i'm trying to get in ?” Damon said annoyingly kindly, making Ace jab a fake knife through the space between the door and the doorway. “THIS IS THE BEST FUCKIGN KNIFE I HAVE ON ME RIGT NOW BUT PLEADR JSUT FUCK O F F”

“hm ... i'll have to check in with the blacksmith today to know what this one's worth... possibly rusted here, though.... could also just be dirt tho.....” Damon mumbled, examining the knife. “FUCKING HEL P” Ace yelled in distress, his breath seeping through the door. “ace. brush your fucking teeth that's disgusting.”

“IM FUCKIF D TRYINF THERES JUST A FUCKGIFN ROSCH HEREERF” Ace explained fearfully, trying their best to get some pity from the other. “a what ?? don't think we have those here” “A FUCKIFN COKROSKC” “corrosion ???? how bad” “FUCK YOU A GODDMAND COKCROACH” “girls?? what?? are they milfs??” “HOW THEE DFUCKDB DID YEOU HEAR FTHAY WHATS DUCUNESKRHI”

Jake's hand slapped against Damon's shoulder as a way of saying thanks. “good work out there soldier. us skullsmashers really need someone like you damon” He said confidently, disguising his flirting as a compliment. “cool !! you too man !!” The shorter man replied, completely unaware of the flirting and continuing to yearn for the mutual love between him and Jake. fuckin idiots lmao

“alrighty fuckers, let's move!”

Rachel's voice sent Ace and Nova into a panic, making them scram to look for their weapons and equipment. “Got everything ya need? W'ain't makin' any stops; tryin'a save fuel.” Shaw asked, leaning against the wall at the entrance menacingly. “When the fuck did you even come here.” Dennis asked in surprise, carrying suitcases. “Hmph. Man never tells his secrets, young man.” She replied, tilting her cowboy hat. “What…”

Aaron was sitting peacefully in the trunk of a pickup truck they had, only to be met by a large backpack to the face. “ah!!!!!!!! very sorry!!!!!!! we'll be going in separate vehicles, and trunk space is very much needed!!!!!!!!” Whitney said, apologizing. “Ah. Well. O-okay then.” Aaron stuttered out, holding back tears from the painful impact the backpack had. Pretty sure he'll get a bruise from that.

Henderson and Rachel were waiting in the front seats of yet another pickup truck. To pass the time, they took very cringey pictures of each other pretending to be on Cowboy TikTok™. “Do one where you're pregnant with the truck's baby!” Henderson suggested, making Rachel flip the bird at her but begrudgingly agreeing with her stupid idea. “i literally would skin you alive.” She spat out, putting a pumpkin inside her shirt. “That's… literally so sexy, babe.” Henderson replied back, taking more pictures.

Meanwhile, Andre was busy explaining to Cyprus, who was in a small glass jar, that forcibly entering Damon's bloodstream and mutilating his entire body was not very nice, with Orc and Sarah judging. “YES BUT UNLIMITED POWER COULD BE RIGHT IN OUR HANDS ANDRE” “That'd very mean of you to do, and could actually probably kill you too in the process.” he explained to deaf ears. Well, technically no ears. Yet. “CYPRUS I KNOW IT SOUNDS STUPID BUT YOU COULD LITERALLY DO THE SAME BUT LIKE IN AN ELEPHANTS BODY DUDE” Orc suggested, only to be ignored. “cmon cyprus just pleaaaaase dont kill ppl ok”

Jake looked outside, then back at Damon. “well guess its time to move!” “yea ... but at what cost.” Damon replied confusingly, making a sad face. “did you know today is…” he started, then regretted saying anything. “nvm…” He turned away from the punk, sniffling and walking to Dennis and Aaron.

“damon” “??” Jake asked quietly, craning his neck a little before making the decision to leave the new recruit alone. Instead, he joined Henderson and Rachel in their odd activities.

“hey guys. i fucking miss sans.” Damon confessed, taking a seat next to Dennis. “My nose is bleeding.” Aaron pointed out. “ok. today's sunday. and you Know what That Means… Meant,” The boy continued, facing the ground. “Kanye West he…” Dennis began (begun???? idk). “… liked.” Aaron continued, also affected emotionally by the departure of not only Sans, but Komaeda too.

Jake stared longingly at the family, wishing he was a part of it too. He truly felt Ariel Little Mermaid's desire to become human. Seven Vagánias… that was a risk he was willing to take for him. He would shave his eyebrows off for that man, and he just might do it right now.

“Jake? Don't do that. Please don't fucking do that.” Henderson suddenly interrupted, surprising Jake. “do what” Henderson squinted her eyes, giving Jake a suspicious look. “That's the face you make when you want to do silly things…” She pointed out.

“You had that when you almost electrocuted yourself at that stable, you had that when you threw the dart at Scoran, you had that when you glued Marcus and Reese–” “OKAY OKAY I GET IT IM A DUMMY SILLY LITTLE BITCH BOY OK”

Rachel put the pumpkin back on the ground and went to the two friends, curious to know what the quarrel was about. “what's poppin gayboy!��� She loudly asked, slapping Jake's forearm strongly. “i am in peril and shaking and crying” “daddy issues” “yget?” He explained, gesturing towards the Russells.

“ah. please clarify what kind.” Rachel said, knowing Jake has a very questionable taste for fictional middle-aged men, such as Sigma Overwatch and the guy from the cowboy game. “the fuckin. family one rachel” “look at em just vibing and simply being gay”

Rachel and Henderson gave eachother a look that questioned whether Damon and Jake were going to be a thing or not, since Jake's technically still with Andre. “Considering the fact that they adopted Damon, they could probably also adopt you if you wanted to.” Henderson suggested, knowing Jake wouldn't like this and would stupidly unknowingly accidentally confess his love for Damon to them both right then and there.

“what?????” “ew no thatd be fuckin incest or some shit what the fuck” Jake said, being grossed out. “what would be the incestuous part, jacon. we did not say or hint at anything related to incest.” Rachel asked, making Jake's hair stand up in panic. “fuCKIN NOTHING DUH” “BUT LIKE YKNOW I GET CRUSHES REALLY EASILY YEA??????” Jake explained weirdly.

“So there's a new one right now, huh…” Henderson asked… feeling like she was in Ace Attorney. “no!!!! no wait” “well yea– no.. but i–” “fuck You but yes” Jake grumbled. “ah no, we won't tell, obviously. it was just getting way too obvious, so we just wanted to hear it from both sides.” “WH” Rachel said mysteriously, getting into the driver's seat of the pickup truck. “okay guys let's go!!” She yelled out, starting the engine. “THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??????” “BOTH SIDES???”

chapter dos

two four trucks

The journey to god knows fuckin where idk didn't plan i guess a fuckin cabin or smth idk was long and torturous, especially when Rachel said that cryptic-ass thing before going. What the fuck was that supposed to mean, bro.

sudden interlude for seating arrangements !!

truck 1: Henderson, rachel, whitney, CYPRUS

truck 2: jake, damon, marge, Andre, Aaron

truck 3: ace, Nova, Dennis

truck 4: sarah, ORC, Shaw, viper

truck two.

Jake awkwardly patted Marge's head in the backseat of the truck, avoiding eye contact with Damon and Andre. Of course he had to go on a three-day trip in the same car with his ex, his crush, AND his crush's father. God, he was pretty sure this was the lab rats' doing.

“cows.” Damon pointed outside, earning Andre's attention. “Holy– what are those?” He asked, taking his sunglasses off to admire the beautiful little cows. “Cows… we drink their milk and wear their skin as jackets…” Aaron explained, his eyes drifting from the road momentarily. “They can have best friends and stuff. Really nice guys. Also, they're expensive as hell.”

“Y–You do what. Their skin??” Andre asked, his voice a pitch higher than usual. “yeah and we rate them based on which layer it is. also, like their meat, expensive as hell. but still very cool.” Damon said, confusing Andre even more. “they also give us cheese and ice cream and whipped cream and stuff. underrated little babies. they deserve better.” “they also have nose rings which are punk as hell–”

“Wait, why the nose– cheese?! Cheese?! AND ice cream??!” Andre asked again, his mind attempting to comprehend the greatness that cows are. “Oh man, you are not ready to hear about pigs.” Aaron said jokingly. “What the fuck are pigs???” “Sausages, ham slices, bacon, lard, leather too, rotisserie–” “aaron please i'm gonna throw up.” “Oh, right. Sorry,”

Jake sat quietly in his seat, just now realising how much of his world Andre's missing. Sure, his world was much cooler, but do they have sheep? Palm trees? Penguins? Thought not, bitch. “andre do you know what a kangaroo is” He asked, breaking his silence like that one YouTuber.

“A what?” “kangaroo. some of them are buff as shit and they move by hopping. they cant hop backwards and they also keep their babies in little pouches attached to them and their bones and guts are exposed on the inside of said pouch. baby kangaroos are about the size of a jellybean, and the adults can box you”

“They what” “yea they're weird as fuck.” “its from australia so” “That sounds fake.” “oh man. wombats bro. quokkas. fuckin drop bears and flying foxes. PLATYPUSES!!!” “wombats poop in cubes and quokkas are always smiling” “Koala bears hold onto tree branches and eat their mom's shit, which is the leaves of said tree branches.” “Please stop what the fuck” “ohoho fucking GEESE” “GET IM JAKE MY NEIGHBOR HAD FUCKIN THREE OF THOSE BITCHES”

truck three.

The three sat silently, with the exception of Dennis, who was swearing at random times. “You call that a fuckin’ turn, old man?! HUH?!!” Ace's shoulders jumped, the sudden exclamations preventing them from sleeping through the trip. “This Is Probably The Last Time We'll See Each Other Alive.” Nova stated calmly. “i slept for like two minutes last night… didn't even get to wear conditioner today. unrelated but just sharing my struggles with you.” Ace said, shifting into a more comfortable sleeping position.

Dennis overheard the two talking, and opted to stay quiet for the rest of the trip, before stumbling across a strange sight. “FROG!!!” he yelled, waking up the duo. “he said fuck! he said the f” Ace yelled out while rubbing their eyes. “Are We Aliven't” Nova asked, stretching. “Sadly, no, but the good news is, I found a frog!” Dennis excitedly said, opening the car door.

“WHAT” “THAT SHITS GONNA POISON US WHAT THE FUCK” Nova yelled out, unfortunately not loud enough for Dennis to hear it. The man kept walking towards the creature that was technically an alien to them, and picked it up with watery hands. “DENNIS YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING KILL US ALL!!!!!!! DENNIS!!!!!!”

“So, you kids know how to handle a frog?” Dennis asked in a wholesome tone, alerting the two even more. “KILL IT KILL IT FUCKING KILL IT” “Oh, are you guys allergic to this little guy? Sorry, I'll put it in the dashboard instead.” “GET ITBOUT WHAT THE FUCK DENNID JESUS” “… Huh?” “POSIOJ DART FOGR” Nova shouted, hiding behind the passenger seat and being pushed by Ace, who was also going to hide there. “BITCH”

Dennis and the frog stared at them in confusion, hearing their horrified screams. “This is… a wood frog… not a poison dart… that one would probably die in this climate…” he explained plainly, his hands gently cupping the newfound friend. “oh. ok” Ace muttered quietly, while Nova maintained an awkward silence. “You can… pat them very softly if you want.” Dennis suggested. “Or spray the shit outta them. That could work too.”

Nova nervously held out her hand to pat the frog, then smiled in succeeding to do so. “Death Quivers Before Me” She said, proceeding to pat it even more. “can i do the spray thing.” Ace asked, their voice quiet as a whisper. “Yeah, sure. Go right ahead.”

*the frog was going to die so technically they didnt like fuck up the ecosystem or smth. do not attempt this irl.

truck four.

“What jolly tunes d'ya have on this here truck. Fellas.” Shaw asked, observing the radio. “uh, really, i don't think it'll be necessary!!!!!” Viper nervously said, only to be ignored. “NONSENSE! ONE'S TASTE IN SHANTIES PROVES TO BE A WINDOW INTO THEIR LIVES.” Orc said wisely, patting them on the shoulder. “i guess that's good advice, but really–”

TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. MY MUSCLES. MY MUSCLES. INVOLUNTARILY FLEX.

“I SEE. A MATING SONG FOR YOUR SPECIES?” “my truck f### playlist,.,.,.” Viper tried to mute the speaker to no avail as most of the buttons on the control panel were very much broken. “I'm. Very sorry for this, pardner. But this doesn't sound so bad. I could put this in a jukebox…” Shaw consoled, only making them panic more. “im so f#ckig sorry” They said, before smashing the radio with a briefcase.

They all paused for a moment, unsure of what to do. “i have spotify…” Sarah croaked, holding up her phone. “they have lemon demon too, if you want…” She muttered, scrolling through the song choices. “does anyone want to listen to wet a–” “no.” “okay.”

The truck grew even quieter for a while, until Shaw gave a suggestion to pass the time. “Wanna play 20 questions?” “I'll start: how many folks have y'all killed?” Viper gave the assassin a horrified look, confusing her. “I think mine's around 150. No… 145…” She confessed, rubbing her chin. “Wait, or was it 160?”

“like six. do you like girls, and, follow up question, do you also coincidentally like short girls with long hair.” Sarah said without hesitation, stopping Orc from answering the first question. “Yes! I literally have a wife!” Shaw shouted happily, rolling up her sleeves to show Sarah her tattoos. “This one is her setting herself on fire and me getting inspired–” “ah, yes–” “That one was a total cover-up! Previously, it was the names of my exes, all thirteen of them, but now, it's my cat!”

After some time of receiving a bit too much RexShaw lore, Sarah finally got the answer she so desperately needed from Viper. This was the verdict that determines whether she could make a move or not. This answer could change– “i am gay and do not get attracted to women. thank you.” Ah. Back to more hunting. “I am a lesbian! High-five!” Shaw exclaimed.

And finally, the first truck.

truck one.

Loud country music blared in the truck as they drove by the snowy mountains of uhh. Winsnow. Like winter and snow. They had all chosen separate routes in order to cover more land and see if there were any new developments in the area.

“BRANDY!!! FETCH ANOTHER ROUNF!!!!!!” Rachel screeched as she drummed on the dashboard. “AND SHE FJSJS” Henderson kept driving, searching every inch of land for a rest stop to stretch her legs and also listen to something else.

“hendy.” Rachel said, getting her girlfriend's attention. “do you wanna buy that slime that cleans cars and stuff?” Henderson stared into the distance, pondering. “Hm. There's always the possibility of the slime disappearing under mysterious circumstances and turning up in the trash can the next day covered in saliva, so.” Whitney looked away, feeling attacked.

“yeah, that's a problem.” Rachel muttered, her hand instinctually moving to Henderson's. “Please don't crash the car.” She begged, looking sadly at her. “is there a domino's nearby. i heard they have that new peanut butter chocolate lava cake.” Rachel asked, cupping Henderson's face gently.

“Rachel. There's fucking mountains.” Henderson pointed out, gesturing towards their surroundings. “That shit will freeze.” Rachel put her head down in disappointment. “yeah. damn.” “MORE FLESH!!! MORE FLESH!!! MORE FUCKING FLESH!!!”

Oh yeah, Cyprus was here the whole time. “why does the metal say fuck?????” And Whitney too! “MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS. FLESH NEEDED!” Cyprus yelled out, resembling a hungry toddler on a road trip.

“do you want like a burger or something......” Whitney asked, judging the spirit. “FLESH” “like are you more of a kfc or a mcdonalds guy” “NEED FLESH” She gave the couple a look, one that was kind of undecipherable due to her lack of normal face details like eyebrows, visible pupils, etc.

“So, three peanut butter lava cakes and one meat lover's… what else?” “ah!!!!!! no lava cake for me, i'm on a diet!!!!!! dirt and dirt only!!!!!!!!!!! also fish bones as a treat” Whitney corrected, her eyes searching for a nearby body of water. “Or, we could get Cyprus the fish meat, and Whitney the bones.” “sounds good to me!!!!!!!!” “FLESH”

…

“welcome to domino's! can i get your order?”

“three peanut butter lava cakes, please. that's all. thank you.” Rachel said, her seat switched with Henderson's, who was too nervous to order. “okay but they each take like three hours to make” “what.” “yea you can stop by like the grocery store up ahead” “fuck you for ordering this” “i–” “fuck off”

the grocewy stowe

The truck stopped by the front of the building, Rachel telling them to go in first while she searches for a good parking spot. Much to Henderson's disappointment.

“My lover…” Henderson said with fear in her voice. “it's okay… go along… i… i have to do this for you…” “for you all… i won't forget the good that you've done to me and everyone i've ever known…” “Rach, please don't go, I lo–” “you all are the kindest people… heaven may wait eagerly for you, but as for me, the ground trembles for its latest meal. fresh from the oven, i will enter the furnace…” “why the fuck would they cook you again” “because i'm TOAST!!” “haha”

“Kill Ronald Reagan while you're at it… I forgot which one he is but I'm pretty sure he's a total bitch…” “i will meet you doomguy” “heeeeeeeh” Rachel whined weakly as she slowly drove over to the spot she wanted.

MOTHERFUCKER.

A silver Honda Civic quickly made its way into there, angering the scientist. “not on my watch, fucker.” Rachel muttered, sliding the pickup truck across the road. She slammed her palm onto the car horn, which terrified even a murder of crows.

“huh wonder who that is” “hm anyway which fish do u like ???? :-)”

A woman who seemed to be in her late 40s exited the Honda Civic, throwing a rather large and flashy boa around her neck. “Jesús, ít's cold in hère,” The lady commented, putting on a pair of expensive-looking sunglasses. “Márie, come along, ma cheghhy!” (i forgot how to spell it)

oh, son of a B I T C H .

it's the french lady who smells weird.

Of course, seeing your enemy in any circumstance that wasn't planned was clearly a little scary and will probably be your last day alive, but bumping into them at a Target was kinda… awkward.

Both the hazelnut and the dolphin were less armed and armoured than usual, and there weren't any bodyguards or security. Usually, if a top leader goes anywhere, the standard protocol was to do thirty separate background checks on the location and have it guarded up somewhere in the three months before their arrival.

So, obviously, someone in Top 50 driving around town in a decades-old car buying groceries isn't very safe, or probably even legal. Hell, she hasn't even seen them wear anything this ridiculous ever. Could this be a distraction? Or is it an opportunity?

Ah, wait, they're both wearing their stupid little marriage bracelets.

It's the middle of October.

This is their anniversary vacation.

Shit.

in the store

Henderson strolled through the aisles with Whitney at her side, hugging Cyprus's jar. She examined the cereal boxes to make sure they didn't contain any food colouring that could potentially kill her.

Whitney, on the other hand, zoomed over to the meat section, licking her lips at the sight of a raw cod. “cyprus…… do you feel that? the need to devour a being???? the uncontrollable desire for energy that it transcends all laws and regulations placed on mankind?????? the growing hunger for power, one that's so strong it controls your every need????

a natural, primal instinct to become such a brutal being that no one, not even you, recognise yourself anymore. you look at yourself in the mirror and you feel like you want to destroy that, to put yourself onto the pedestal you belong on, to wreak havoc on the cosmos of all beings, living and dead, real and mythical, walking and extinct.

you know that you're the only who understands this instinct, the only one who follows it to this distance. everyone else may underestimate you, but in the end, you'll rise above them all. man's natural instinct is to become the ruler of all.”

“What the fuck, Whitney. Anyway, I talked to the deli guy and he said he could pay you to eat up some scraps if you want. You down?” Henderson asked, her trolley already full of snacks. “yea fuck it man” Whitney replied, walking over to the ‘staff only’ door. “im hungy as fuck”

parking lot.

Despite the growing need to kill the woman, Rachel was managing to control herself. Even though this was the perfect opportunity to eliminate one of them, she knows she'll be replaced by someone much crueler. So for now, she'll just stick to watching this lady consider which can of tomato sauce is better than the other.

Rachel parked the truck near the entrance and the Honda Civic. She kept an eye on the couple as she quietly made her way inside through the back door.

“So thàt's when Í saìd, ‘that's not a cactùs, that's a lámp!” Karén playfully said, her hand entwined with her wife's. Rachel was unsure whether to stalk the two or join her friends in shopping.

WELL, FIND THAT OUT IN THE NEXT PART,

B I T C H !! !! !!

[uniformbravo]

“quick” life update while i wait for my ipod to charge

(do ppl even still use ipods in this day & age. whats spotify)

i never made any posts abt it but i started the new semester & im taking 2 classes, it’s funny actually bc i waited even more til the last minute than i usually do to figure out my classes & spent the 1st week of school trying to see a counselor to find out if i still needed classes and that’s a whole other story for a whole other day but long story short the answer was no but i decided to take a couple anyway

mainly because every time im not in school The Depression takes over & i just needed something to Do so im taking intermediate painting (even tho painting 1 made me want 2 die every day) and animation (even tho i’ve already decided i don’t want to be an animator????)

so heres the thing, okay, since these are classes i don’t need in order to fill any requirements or anything i had to pick them based on nothing, really, like my main reason for taking classes this semester was to give myself something to do, right. i picked painting because my friend had told me she was taking it so i was like yo i’ll just do that too bc we had fun last time & it’s a good way to stay in contact. originally that was gonna be my only class bc i knew it’d be a lot of work and time but then i talked to my school’s art counselor about transferring to another school after im graduated from here and i’d said i was maybe interested in storyboarding so we looked at schools with animation programs and i decided super last minute to just take the animation class here and Boy what a mistake

last semester i was talking on here about a computer art class i had considered taking but dropped bc it seemed kinda... shitty?? because i hated the way the teacher taught and i felt like i wasn’t gonna gain anything from the class??? well animation is taught by the same guy and hhhhhhhhh he’s so fucking unhelpful it’s such a nothing class

see i was hoping to learn some hand-drawn animation basics like timing, squash & stretch, the fucking bouncing ball assignment, shit like that, right. the teacher was like “today we’re gonna go over the 12 principles of animation” and i was like “sweet i’ve heard of that this’ll be good” & literally he brought up a list, read off most of the names, briefly described a few, and told us to google it if we wanted more info like?? holy shit dude????? thanks for nothing oh my god

i’ve been taking a lot of time practicing animating in flipnote studio on my 3ds and watching youtube videos and i’ve been learning so much more from that than anything explained by my teacher bc godddd. basically what the class boils down to is like. flash animation. so far we’ve been working in adobe illustrator and animate & i cannot stand illustrator. i know it’s a good and useful program and if i wanted to i could learn how to use it & eventually get used to it but just the way he teaches it makes me want 2 slam dunk my computer

the computer art basics class was strongly recommended to be taken before this class but tbh i don’t even think that’s the issue here because i tried to take that class and his method was the same; he does a demo on screen that you’re supposed to follow along and do with him and he explains what hes doing as he goes but he goes so fast that if u miss a step ur fucked 

and it’s not just that he goes fast, it’s also that theres no understanding of the program itself, like ok u know how in math there’s all these formulas where if u just plug numbers into them it gives u the right answer? i always understood formulas better when i knew what each variable stood for & why the values were being added or multiplied together because then it made it easier to extract the information i needed from word problems and also helped me memorize the formulas themselves easier because i could make those associations between numbers and purpose. i had the groundwork of the formula, so i could apply it to all kinds of situations

this class is like, he only gives you the very specific formulas required to accomplish very specific tasks in the programs so i can’t make the connections to figure out how to perform other tasks and i get super lost every time & it’s super frustrating & i could ask for help because he comes around and helps people who need it but i sit in the back corner so he never really even looks my way so i feel like i can’t get his attention w/o speaking up or getting up to go get him & i get lost so often that it’s really just a pain to ask him every single time

i just hate when i have a problem in one of the programs & i just have absolutely no clue how to fix it or even work around it? im used to photoshop and illustrator is just so opposite that my brain doesn’t want to work with it so im. 100% floundering in this class

we have 2 assignments during the whole semester, the first was a group project where we hand draw a 3-second animation (~30 frames) and that was literally the very first thing we did in the class with no prior guidance and honestly i suspect that the only reason he assigns it is to fill the requirement for a group project (which i know is a thing bc a lot of my past teachers have talked about it being a thing) so it was literally just. a nothing project

the second assignment is our final which is a 90-second animation (~1080 frames) and we have basically the rest of the semester to work on it, so about a month and a half-ish? and all we’ve learned how to do so far is motion tweening in animate, basically. i mean we did a ball-and-string thing which was kind of different but it mostly involved a lot of copy+paste bullshit in illustrator & also like automatic shortcuts & stuff, there was really no drawing involved at all

also it’s one of those classes where everyone just kind of messes around and does their own thing like?? i saw one girl reading manga on her computer & these two dudes at my table were comparing yugioh cards & i hear like 50 thousand conversations about anime every day & i mean im not one to talk tbh but it’s just the atmosphere, it feels like u either know what ur doing or u just fuck around w/ ur friends and im in the “neither of those” category and the girl who was reading manga is in the “both” category bc every other time i’ve looked over there she’s got this amazing masterpiece on her screen that she made in illustrator & i die inside every time what the fuckkc 

he showed us examples of final projects from last semester and i noticed that some of them were done traditionally or in programs that were obviously not illustrator so i asked him about it & he said it doesn’t have to be done in illustrator/animate as long as it’s 90 seconds long so Guess What i think i’m just gonna make it somewhere else lmaooo i mean i feel like it’s a missed opportunity bc i have these programs at my disposal & im not even using them but god amn. god fuckign damn

im thinking of animating it in flipnote bc that’s what i’ve been using & im pretty familiar with it by now but im not sure because there are some important things im not sure i’ll be able to accomplish with it like backgrounds (which are another requirement for the assignment) and i don’t want to back myself into a corner, especially with how little time i have to do it, so idk for sure. my other idea was to use clip studio paint but i have the pro version which only lets u use 24 frames per animation which totals out to a whopping 2 seconds so idk if i want to have to deal with that bullshit either. right now im considering making the rough animation in flipnote so i can figure out the timing & shit and then slapping it into clip studio to finalize everything (or technically i could even do that in photoshop, since im more familiar w/ it & can probably work faster there- from photoshop it’d be a matter of copying the finished frames into clip studio to export into 2-second clips & then compile those in movie maker & then bam finished animation)

so!!! it’s a lot of shit im dealing with in this class & im just like. if im doing it this way then why do i even need to show up for class. what am i even in this class for im just basically making an animation on my own time with my own resources using none of the techniques taught in the class. im only doing this animation because it’s an assignment for the class im not gaining anything from. it just seems so pointless & the only thing getting me through it is the thought that i could possibly put this in a portfolio somewhere down the line, and for that i’d want it to look nice and not rushed so im thinking that for the sake of finishing the assignment i might just use my rough animation so that i can spend more time on the “nice” version afterward

aaaanyway it’s um Late for me & i went on about this for too long but i needed to get it off my chest tbh, i’ve been thinking abt making this post for like 2 weeks so there u go. i didn’t even talk about my painting troubles good lord. if you’ve been wondering why i havent been online as much lately This is why. also bc im a huge loser and 100% of my free time has been going into watching anime bye

[thepetepetersonexperience-blog]

sly cooper 100

SLY 100a/n: this is for sly

I andy and this you don't understand me

this is my first story I'm posting on tumblr sly cooper 100                                                                                                                                      SLY 100

a/n: this is for sly 100 and it is my 100 story. this is beautiful and i'm crying becuz i nevah thuggt (which is like thought but thuggin) I'd get to so menny fucking stories. I love you wall but you guys should seriuousyl fucking review my stories moreyeah. FUCK YOU Sly cooper in 100.

"SLY COOPER 100″

"hey sly" "yeah bently" "why did you just say your name and 100 like that like you did that just you did there." "fuck if I know, that's some gay ass shit." "fuck." bently said. sly and bently were playing sly cooper thieves in time for the nintendo 65. it sucked. "nintendo 66 is bettar graphics sly. 100 times better" murry said. "fuck you murry let me play this game of myself bently made for me for our 100 anniversity of when we met each other and "man remembler the hampy camper?" murry screamed as he pooped himself and jizzed because that was funny. 100 times funnier that cod haters. "man fuck you murry. let's look at a clip." sly said like in family guy when they talk about the clips that happen in the story story. "flacsh back." bently and sly said. "this is how we met at the hampy fucking capper." the bently said. "biddly doo biddly doo biddly doo" flashback sounds said. 100 times. it was the hastpy sstamper. sly was crying like a homo cuz his his parentos were dead like mentos (a/n only real men don't cry never ever fucking ever okay? FUCKERS) "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK my parents are dead." sly siad. "join the fucking club." the main person, a bald fat dude that was like a rhino maybe or some other shit running the place said. he punched sly in the face. "fuck you shitty fuck fuck." sly said, scratching at his balls. "OOOH FUCK SHIT KID THAT HURT." the bald dude got really happy "your fuckign legit. nobody ever fucked wiht me like dat befo." he was black too. "my name patrick." "hi patrick." sly said 100 times. "hi there little boy. what your name?" "fuck you old man I'm leaving this shitty gay place already. i got a fucking cane and shit. FUCK YOU." "hey." "what?" "one fucking rule here shit." patrick said, punching yls in the ribs so they hurted and felt like broken. "fucking don't fuck with me fucker." he said and spat on sly, and rubbed his blood filled wounds on the dirt which hurt him quite a lot really.; ) sly cried and cried and cried until the night kame 100 minutes later. he missed his parents. "fuck this shitty shit fuckery fuckers." sly yelled at the 100 fire ants that crawled awl over him and burned him. then a bee stung him. "AHH I'M ALERGIC TO BEEEEEEEEEESSSS." sly said. 100 bees attacked him. "you guys." sly said as the bees stung him. "100 BEES" sly said. "BZZZ" the 100 bees said. sly got all puffy and could not breathe anymore! he was really scared and wet himself. "i'm really scared." "hey." "yeah?" sly said. "let me fucking help your gay ass." bently said, shooting sly with a needle. the shit went away and all the bees everywhere died. "fuck what was that shit?" sly said. "I feel all bettar." "fuck if I know. FUCK." bently said. "fuck's wrong with you, got fucking tourrets or some shit hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe. "sly said he 100 times. (a/n; like the tourreets guy his vieeos are funny haha he must have like one hunnah videos or some shits) "dane cook is awesome.' bently said. "yeah he is let's whatch dan cock special on telijizzon." sly said much coolerly than he would have if he said television 100 times. they went into the hampy camp and watched the dane cook special 100 times. "hey are your parents dead too?" sly asked. "yeah they got killed in the fucking war." bently said crying. "miss them a fuck lot, shit head." "my parents got killed by a gay ouwl." "fuck." "I know right?" "do you wanna watch this dan cola special again?" "we already watched it like a 100 times so I don't think we should watch it again." "why" "I mean we alraddy watched it a lot." "100 times." "yeah." "okay" "let's go to bed." they went to bed. tehre was a fat fuck on the bed and it wasn't patrick. "this is murry he's retarded." bendly said as he pucked murry all over. "WAHHH WHY?" muruu said. "BLEHHH." sly said. "ahhh!" mrury said. he was really scurred. "HEY YOU FUCKERS OH MY GOOD FUCKING GOLLY WHAT THE SHIT ARE YOU DOING UP THIS FUKCING LATE AHHH WHAT THE FUCK?!!?!?" patrick said as he knocked the door over. "SHIT HOLY SHIT GO TO BED GO TO FUCKIGN BED AHHH WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK!" patricks slaped all of them with a wicker metal pole. he pierced their ears and tied them together, and drugged them into his secret office. he opened the fucking locked safe and the floor opened and there were many gaters in there. and water I think. it was dark so they could see it not very well. "enjoy your FUCKING knight as you sleep with these dangerous critters." patrick said, drulpding them like dumplings into a very bad and dangerous place that was scary and scared them a lot. there were 100 baby alligators and 100 waters. "wha wha wha wha wha what are we gonna do do do?" bently sud. "i don't not not fucking know ok bently? i just don't now ok?" sly said. he was scarred. "harg." murry said. A/N: FOOFIL GWAP!!!! "grate idea murry!" bently said. sly bit the ropesz that tyed him and betnly and sly and murry together and they actually tasted good! THey tasted like beef jerkie. he through murry at the alligarytos and they started to bite murry. a lot. like if you were there you'd see al ot of murrys blood because they were biting the shitting fuck out of him! one even bit him on the balls but that made sly and bently laugh a lot. all in awl, they bit him 100 times. "sly! i do think thoses gater bited murry 100 fucking times!" bently said. "hahaha murry's a fag. i know that now." sly said. murry cried but sly and bentley laughed at him. they went back to theyre room to watch the dane coock special 100 more times. it was funny. very funny actually. "this dane cook special is funny actually." bentley said. "real talk bruh" sly said. "hey sly?" bentley said. "yes?" sly said. "you wanna see something cool?" bentley said. "i dunno. why?" sly said. "i askled you first." bently said. "who me? sly?" sly said. "your the only one in the room r-tard and murry's too gay and retarded for me to show him something this fuckity fuck cool." bentley said. "ok?" sly said. he was confused. "take a looky look at this." bently said. he pulled out a joint. "the fuck is this shit?" sly said. "it's called weed or mairjuwanna. it's good bro try some." bent-lee said. sly lit up a blunt and felt really good because he was high and that is what wheed does, it makes you feel high. and good. "bently bro...im so high.....your name is should be bluntly lol" sly said. "What the Fu-" Sly said as he was grabbed by someone behind him. It was Murry. "Hi Sly. it rhymes." Murry said. "Yes." Sly said. "Sly rhymes with Hi." "you guys wanna play Ultra Thuggn 5000® on the Xbox 360®???" murry murr said. "no you fatass retard. that game is lame. What the fuck? Fuck Mury, it's fucking chinese checkers. This game is lame. Heh heh eh.. it rhymes." sly sly said. "fat fat fatty! murrys a fat fat fattyy fuck fatty!" betgnly said. sly and bently started laffing at murry. like a lot. if you were therte you'd be so annoyed with how much they where laughing because it was lot. "haha" murry said. he was laffing to try and seem like therye bullying wasnt getting to him but deep inside murry was ANGRY. he did a double punch and punched sly and bently right in the fucking face. they fell down. sly falls down. bently felled down too! "my fists are dubble trubble mothrerfuckers! dubble bubble trubble!" murry said. "oh it's on you fat shitcake" sly said. he got up and grabbed murry's balls and put them in a Slap Chopâ„¢. he slapped the chop out of fucking murry's ball sacks. "ARGH HARG GUIRGE>...FUCK YOU SLY." murry said as his balls bled all over the blace. then something bad and not good happened. patrick found out that they escaped his bastardly trappy trap! "You little wobblering fucking cunts." he said. sly, bentlkey and murry started to cry. "how the fuck did you escape the gaters? you motherfuckers i'll kill you all myself. you little bastard fucks are nothing but trubble. i know it. ok?" patrick said (a/n not patrik sars from spungebob) "fuck you patrick, step the fuck out of my face motherfucker or i'm finna put a cap in your rhincoeriys ass." sly said. patrick pushed sly and bently and murry down. "Do you have an understanding of your life? Does not he? ! ! I put some pain in your life son, in some fucking pain. I want to fuck the shit out of you and your boy did not do anything since the first day of trouble. Do you understand it? Do you understand the langauge of shit that I speak? I want to fuck you! Finnish to break my belt, I whip out your fucking shit! Put whipped cream on your back, I whip out your shit! Are you all right? Are you crying? So you need to fucking shit works. To kill you, I kill the dust you're fucking your fucking homo trying to crush your body into dust. 100 seconds worth the pain I will give to you 100 years.You fucking faggots." patrtick screamed loud and loudly at them. bently wnet into his shell because he was really scared. so was sly. like if you were there and someone scary like patrick was yelling at you would you be scared? i fucking know i would. sly kicked bently who was in his shell over to patrick and hit him in the fuckin foot. "OW FUCK." he said. he fell back because sly just lunched bently at his foot and it hurt him a lot. he fell out the window and fell a lot and landed on the grass hard. 100 fire ants, 100 bees, 100 giraffes and 100 wolfs all attacked him! and they all had 100% rabies. "AH NO PLEASE I DON'T FUCKING WANTED TO DIE THIS WAY." Patrick screemed as the rabie animals ripped him to shred. there was blood and shit and a blody carc-ass all over the floor and the ground. patrick was fuckiond dead. "i'm happy patrick's dead." bently said. he came out of his shell. "yeah me too." sly said. "and me." murry said. "SHUT THE FUCK UP MURRY." sly said. he had a really fucking devious look on his face. "guys i think we should be criminals. it is our calling in our lives to steal shit and bad!" sly said. by bad sly meant bad in a cool way not bad like in the way that they'd fucking suck or some shit. "yeah that sounds like fun. a lot of run fun really." bentley said. flashbork over. "FUCK" murry yelled suddently "DAMN IT SHIT WHAT THE FUCK" sly said. he was really scared because they were all chille before. "sorry that story made me pissed. I have to hang out with you assholes now cuz of that shit." "the doors fucking right there pal, go the fuck out if you're gonna be a lil' bitch. we gonna call you lil' bitch from now on capeesh?" sly said like a new york bostin guy. "fune fickers shit the feck outta heeyeeh" murry said. "Ojay." sly said. "WHANT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY!?!??" MURRY SAID. "I said ojay it's better than okay." sly said. "Okay." "NO!!!!!!!! YOU FUCKING SHIT!!! IT'S OJAY!!!!!" sly said. "AAAAAAAAAAARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Murry said. Murrys eys turned blood red. He grabbed the game disk and ran out smashing out a window. "good fucking riddance." sly said. "shit sly you think he's gonna try anad kill us?" "over my dead ass he is. FUCK HIM." "remember the time we tried to steal shit the first time?" "you mean the time we robbed the poop festival?" sly said. (a/n remember to do this story it funny) "no the time we were first like fucking criminals or shit." bentles said. "oh" "do you want to do a flashback of that?" "fuck bently what are we gonna do flashbacks 100 times or something?" "100 times?" "yeah" "I don't know that seems like a lot of flashbacks" "I know that's why I said it. it's a big number." "100 times seems like a lot" "it is" "maybe we shouldn't do flashbacks 100 times" "maybe we shouldn't." "I think we shouldn't do flashbacks 100 times" "ok" "yeah" "so what do you want to talk about?" "remember the time we tried to steal shit the first time?" "you mean the time we robbed the poop festival?" sly said. "no the time we were first like fucking criminals or shit." bentles said. "oh" "do you want to do a flashback of that?" "fine whatever" "biddly doo biddly doo biddly doo" flashback sounds said. 100 times. sly did a triple helix back fucking flump and landed on his ass. he still sucked at theifing shit so he fucked it up really badly. he talked on his fucking dial up shitty walkie fucking reh-SEE-verr because fuck it was the olden times or some gay as fucking fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck shit damn ass drumpin flump. "shit" sly said into the walkie "sly what the shit are you fucked up and high? are you smoking crack? are you fucked up 100 ways from tomorrow?" bently said. "no bently I just forgot what we're stealing and where we are and when we are." "it is night time and you are stealing from this video game museum. we be robbing nintendo, microsott, sonny, all that shit." bentarly said literally. "oh" "so maybe you should go steal this video games or something 100 times." "I gotta take a dump first." sly said. he went to go poop in a toilette before he would need a moist towelett to clean his pants. fucking carmelita was hanging around the front of the bathrooms. "who the fuck are you some kind of pervert?" sly said quietly but and to himself so she wouldn't hear him but she did. she got really scared and ran away. sly went to the toilet and sat down and did number 2 100 times. he got up and washed his hands 100 times. then he saw a see ling skware move. he saw cankaleamgia hanging around up there. "fuck you are a pervert you fucking pervert. maybe you should be a cop instead of a pervert." sly said. "fuck that's a good idear." carmeiliat says as she jumps away. "shit" sly said as he rememerd what he did. "i took a shit." sly ran to the video games and stole some of them. he made sure to only get cool games. there was a geekazoid loser with a glow stick uniform doing sekuritee. sly punched him in the dick and ran away. "ahhh fucker." the guy said. the guy's name was a big fucking surprise, it was barack obama back when he was a nerd. flashback over. "fuck that was obama." sly said. "I fucking punched obama in the dick." "cool" "yeah" "maybe we should go do something" "maybe we should" "let's get ice cream and then go to the shopping mall to by supplys sly." "ok" they got in the van. they went to the mall. they got ice cream. it was good. "sly this ice cream is scrimply tastey i do say so myself as i am bently." bently said. "bently shut the fuck up and enjoy the ice cream because it is fucking good." sly said. "what kind of flayvor did you get?" betnyl siad. "100% chocklate." sly said. he wasn't kidding like it was no joke. even the Spüüne was made out of chocolate! "nice." bently said. he liked the spoon or spune or Spüüne "what did you get." sly said. "dubble bannana 100 budge fudge." betnly said with a big smile on his fucking face. "i like ice cream" sly said licking his chops. "yum yum yum" "Indeed it is very yummy" bentradely said. "yum!" sly said. he ate the ice cream. "did you know that ice cream is really really good?" bently said. "yeah." sly said. "it is." bently said. "i know, you didn't need to fucking tlel me that ice cream's good becuz is fucking is ok?" saly said. "i know, but i just like it alot." bently said. "i know me too." sly said. "i know how you feel about ice cream because i feel the same way," bently said "we feel good about our ice cream." sly said. "yes indeeder we do." bently said. "we feel really fucking good aobut it." sly said. "yes because ice cream is really good." bently said. " i bet murry wishes he could stuff his fat fucking face with this ice cream?" bent;ly said. "whos murry?" sly said. "you know the fat gay retarded hippo that follows us around." bently said. "oh you mean lil' bitch. fuck him, he's not  good enough for ice cream because ice cream is good." sly said. "indeeder that it is sly." "yeah" sly said. "ice cream is yummly." bently said. "but murry is a fagtard and a redneck motherfucking piece of shit." sly said. "i agree with you on that one." bently said. "but you also agree with me about ice cream." "yeah i do sly." bently said. "i bet ice cream gives murry gas." sly said. "yeah" bently said. they laughed at sly's funny joke. "oh my head hurts. i ate my ice cream 100 times too fast and now i have BREAIN FREEEZE!" sly siad. "AH ME TOO IT UFCKING HURTS. IT HURTS! AHHH" bently said. they screamed until the pain went away and it hurt a lot. have you ever gotten brain freeze before? i get it a lot when i eat ice cream and i do the same thing sly and bently do, i scream for my cream, my ice cream! they finished their ice cream. they were happy because it was good ice cream and not bad ice cream. "fuck we gotta buy supply but we spended too much money on ice cream!" bently said. "you know what that means!" sly said. "WE GOTTA STEAL!" sly and bently said at the same time. "STEAL SOME SHIT" sly said. "SHIT WE GONNA STEAL." bently said. everyone looked at them funny. "whant supllies do we neeeeed?!" sly said. "we need some grappelling hooks and some wire. 100 times what we use unusally." bently said. "how much would that cost if we didn't eat the iced creamiscles?" sly said. "about 100 dollars." bently said. "nice!" sly said. "but that ice cream was really good." bently said. "worth the money i know, we must've spent 100 dollars on ice cream." sly said. "right?" bently said. "shit was so cash." sly said. "cash with some ass." bently said very slowly. "ass." sly said. "cash." bently said. "ass cash ash ass cash" sly said. "cash ass ash cash ass." bently said. "ASS CASH!" they saided at the saime time. "100" sly said. "ok time to steal." bently said. they went to the thieving goods store at the mall. seriously those exist, google it dude. "ok bently i got a pro thieving idea that's ultra fucking devious and theivoes. 100 % fucking devious." sly said. "ok you got this shit sly" bently said. "i got this because ima spicey meat-a-ball!" sly said in a cool voice. he went into the store which was called THIEVES R US© they had a lot of theifing stuff in there. sly went up to the place where the grapplinger hooks and wire were and just put a shit ton in his bag. then something bad happned. "WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" a mall cop said. "oh shitting fuck nuggets" sly said. they ran away, they came back to the mall once the mall copz were gone. they went to get 100 times more ice cream adnd then they went to the shopping mall to buy supplyes for sly. "Hey SLY?" bently said. "Yes?" sly said. "Do you want to want to make some fucking ice cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos?" bently said. "Yes?" sly said. "LET'S MAKE THAT FUCKING ICE cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos!!!!" bently said. "Yeseser." sly said. they went into home and into their place to the kictchen. they put ice cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos into a ice cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos container. they made it and squeezed it from a icing tube it into a bowel. they ate it with licking it. it was tasting goodlicious. "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" sly said. "THIS ICE cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos IS FUCKING GOOD!!! WE FUCING ATE IT IT!!!!" bently said. they had like 100 cheddar cheese nachos cream burritos. then they got bored. "fuck now what" sly siad. "fucking bored now" "fuck so am i" "fuuuuuuuuuuckles." "shit bricks, let's go rob some shiz with these surplies, or try to mess with cazremeltiua " sly said making funny face. "fuck okay just don't whip your dick out and try to have sex with her or perhaps she'll pull the legal lever to making hunting coopers legalized." "aiight. fuck." sly siad mad because that was his plorn. "Will you quit saying fuck?" "FUCK!! Fuck." bently said."...fuck..." "sly stepped on his foot...hard. "FUCK!! Fuck." bently said. "STOP SAYING FUCK!!!" SLy said. "it's totes my thing tos ay fuck plus you said it like 100 times" "FUCK YOU!!!" bently said in a plerb accent. sly promptly carefully reached into bently's shell carefully and grabbed his tiny turtle balls. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" "Look Buffalo Bitchcake, if you say the word "fuck" one more time i will crush these puny blueberries you call racoon testicles and you can't have sexual intercouse with penlpe or even masturbate good. you said it 100 times okay" "I'm sorry..." bently said as tears coursed down his face and hit his balls 100 times. The tears started to burn, causing steam to rise. "Oh God!" bently screamed as sly began to twist his steaming nuts. "Now lets' find carmelia." sly began to leave. "Um Sly." "What?" "Could you let go of my balls, please?" "oops, sorry buddy." sly let go. Sly and Bently climbed into the shiny smooth Cooper van. "Sly. My balls are killing me." bently said as he massaged his area. "Sorry. You shoulda stopped saying the f word. you said it like a hundred times." sly said. "fuck." "I guess. It's just..." bently stopped talking. "It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just...It's just.. my balls hurt really really really bad." bently said 100 times. "Just stop swearing." sly said, combing his stupid fucking haircut so carmfarmbelarmblita would think he was legit. it like an affrooo. "OK." benly said. "i'm gonna fucking murder you and everyone else if you ever fucking do that again you motherfucker. I'll build a goddamn nuke to kill ever living beeng. so go fuck yourself and never touch my sack again fucker, I will fucking end you and everything you hold dear." "ok" sly said."You wanna grab something to eat." "k." 'tly said."where the FUCK do you want to eat?" "How about Mickey dees, Ba-ba-bah-ba-ba. I'm lovin' it." bento struck sylverster (that's his full fucking name alright? don't fukin pretend it's not scrub, it fucking is, it's fucking slyvester okay.) with a frying pan. "DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT AGAIN!!!! YOU HEAR ME!!!!" BENT-LY SCREAMED. "get bent" sly said. "hehehe" "hahahaha" "hahahaha" "good one" "I kno. let's go to Quizno's insted." sly said. "Sounds good to me." They pulled into the Quizno's/" "Yeah, I'd like one hundred Quiznos, a hundred cups of coffe, exrta syrup and sugar. 100 peeses of sugar and syrup." Sly said to the waiter. "I WANT NOTHING!! Bently screamed. The waiter flipped off benlty and ran away. "That waiter looks familar ;and fucking shit. FUCK." "Go to hell, you coconut sodomizing BITCH." Sly yelled at the waiter. "WAIT!...IT IS MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!" "Guys?" Murry said. He ran over, flipped the table over and tackled Bently. "WWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!" Murry said. He began jump on bently's gut 100 times. "NNNOOOOO!! Murry You suck! HA HAHA hA hA hA HA ha HAHA HAHA hA hA hA HA ha HAHA HAHA hA hA hA HA ha HA!" Bentley said as he tried to laugh to ease the pain but it turned his tears to blood and jizz. Sly came to the rescue just in time with a fork and lodged it deep into murry's back, like fuck it was so deep you'd be really surprised and all grossed out and shit if you saw it, for fucking realsies. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!!!!!! murry screeched 100 times. "Cat got your tongue?" Sly said as pulled murrys tongue our and he dumped 100 hot sauces on murry's tongue. "ENOUGH!" Murry overpowered sly and pushed him into some old people. they died. they were patrick's parents and they were really happy to be dead because they hoped they could go to hell to be with their son patrick in hell. "First, I Will Be serving some apetizers!" Murry said as he punched Sly in the face,"Then the first course" Another punch."Then the second." Yet another punch."Then the third!!!!" Sly was now currently a bloody racoon. He tried to crawl away. But murry grabbed his nuts. "Murry got your balls?" Murry said as he dragged sly's sac over to the grill stove. "For 100 time's sake, Murry." sly begged. "PLEASE DON'T!!!! "Maybe you should've thought about wearing pants." murry said. but then something wierd happnd. penelope showed up. "holy shit." sly said. "what" penpy said. "you never fucking show up you shitty fucking nerd." bently said. "if penpy saiz one fucking word." murry said. "one more and I'll rip sly's balls off." "fuck." sly said. "don't fucking say shit penpie. OKAY? I kno you're a chick so chick's like to fuckin talk all the god dam time but SHIT this once, my balls are on the fucking line, or should I say in a fat gay hippo's strongly grap!" "CRAP!" bently said. he knew pembly couldn't fucking do it. she was a woman after all. "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE MOTHERFUCKERS" carmelita said. she wuz disguyzed as a chair. "ho shit hehehehe" sly said, obvosly checking her ass out 100 times. "hehehehe" "FUCK YOU CARMELITA. I FUCKING NEW U WER THERE OKAY?" murry said, throwing 100 tiles from the grownd at her. "i'm sick of your ficking bullshnit cunting shit fuck fuck fucking fuckery where you fucking come in fucking shit up and shit, fuck you, fuck you, and fuck YOU." murry started punching carmelita 100 times and sly was too scared to do nothin. she was nearly dead when she fell over. "oh fuck carmelita may be dead." penplo said. sly started crying more because murry was sure to rip off his balls now. "oh shit hehehe" murry said. "now I get to rippy rippy." "or do you?" someone misterious said from the fromt of kwissnose. it was....DEMETRI!!?!?!?!?!? "Demeatree???!" sly said. "dametri? fuck demetri, you're gay you fuck fucking 100 times fucking cunt!" murry said. he went outside. he picked up a car he threw it at demetri. demetri was dead! "No!" sly said. "i'll save you bently" pepy said. "pepsi no!" bently said. murry thought she was a drink so he drunk her. "no she dead no." bently said 100 times. "lol." sly said out loud laughing. then murry grabbesd sly's fucking balls harder. carmeliat got really sad. "i don't want sly balls die." she jumped at fuckin murry but sumthin fuckin weird fucking happnd. "I don't feel good." carmelita said then melted. a death ray laser from outside had crashed into her and she died! "NO FUCK HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCKING NO NO NONOONONONO" sly said. "she's dead sly, ok she's dead. deal with it." bently said, taking his glasses off and breaking them to sho how for real he is. "no fucker you fucker..." sly said, cursing murry to death 100 times in his souls. "ha ha fucking ha." murry said, as his mech suit (which look like a gundam mixed with a school bus so it was super fucking legit). he got in his mech suit that ripped the roof off (remember to fix the other part A/N) and flew away. "meet me at london at big ben the big clock tower if you want to end this." murry left, and his ship was flying away with gayness. "fuck sly, good thing I built you a giant mech suit just in case this happened." he pushed a baton and then a giant mech suit shaped like sly but like a transformer, like the new movie transformers, not the old transformers, the new movie ones okay? but anyways sly got in and bently strapped himself to it, they flew away, burning up quiznos and penelpys and carmolitas bodays. "we cremate them" bently said as he cry. "yeah bently we did, we did good. now we kill the fucker once and for all." "sly I got something to say." "ok" "if we don't make it i have a solution. we gotta fucking do it. just say cheese when we're done." "ok sure bently whatever." sly was actually pretty bored now. they flew to big ben and murry was flying. "HEY FUCKO" murry said loudly and oncely. "what is it why did you keel them." sly said. "fuck you." "man I could be palying video games " sly said, firing a hundred rockets at muhwey. "uhhh" murry said taking a dump in his robot. "haha now I will win." sly said he was reading macks ihm may gah zeen. but murry was ready. he fired a murry laser from the canon and shoted sly. "AHHH NO" bently said as he died when the leg part he was strapped to fell off and blew up forever. "ahh damn." sly said. he wanted to cry another tear, but no more tears would come anymore forever. "100 times damn you sly cooper." murry said, firing more rockerts. sly started to fell to the ground. "man this is my fucked up life." sly think. "I fucked up everything, and everyone I love is dead, how will I go now that I crash into this burning robot suit to the ground by big ben, I hope I don't fall on any bad tooth british faggots. fuck the british." "hey" bently's ghost said. "say cheese" "bently! why you here you like the force or something?" "no this just a hologramp." bentrometer said. he wasn't really a ghost i lied okay. "what do I dooo everything so shitty and I'm dyin." "fuck sly this is what you gotta do. say fucking cheese. then it will activate the back up platn. then you can defeat murry. then after he's dead push the bright fucking button with a dick on it." "ok" sly said. "cheese" "and sly" "yeah?" "fucking rape him for me, okay?" bently said as he flew away into the internet. sly pushed a new button and THEN SHIT WENT DOWN. new legs came out of the robot like ketulu, and then robot tentacles turned into regular robot arms. a fuckton of missles hit murry's robot and he crashed to the ground. sly flew the robot down behond murrey's which was all on fours. "hey fucker, this is for killing patrick." sly said as he activated rape mode and his robot raped murry's robat. "ahh OOH nOOO" murry said as his robot exploded and he fell out. a bunch of gay british people found him and raped him too and he died. "now what. oh yeah that button" sly said. he pushed the dick button and time exploded. "FUCK TIME IS GOING AWAYYYY" he woke up on da balcony. carmelita walked out. to be continued in thieves in time. 

[zackmephisto]

dirt watches aew

well i lost all my goddamn liveblogs from the past few episodes but i prOMISE i did them lsdkvlskd here is my liveblog for this week, 10.30.19

brotherly love??? on my tv????? THANK GOD

oh.... wow. okay. that was a lot. that.... wow. okay. holy fuck. okay. 

why does sammy guevara walk like mr mcmahon

HANGMANNNN

god i love hangman so much. 

sammy guevara spit out your FUCKING gum challenge

YAAAAA that was a good match. satisfying match. thank u hangman

SPEAK, COWMAN!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!

“i love you adam” dude in the crowd is ME

“i’m gonna do some real cowboy shit and take pac’s HEAD OFF” “well, there’s a shirt” where is it?? i would like to Buy It

i feel bad for shanna. got legit no reaction. i hope she’s a good bean

hikaru shida, on the other hand. step on me.

shanna had some good takedowns there

HOLY FUCK THAT KNEE 

not really feeling It for this match. ya feel? just don’t feel like,,, the Chemistry. which. i guess. i can’t really fault them for it bc it’s obv their first time wrestling each other but at the same time,,,, they’re Professionals, you know? idk. maybe i’m being too harsh?

the crowd defn came alive during that commercial break so maybe it Was just me? 

the match picked up like a mf. i was having a good time by the end of it. shida did Good!! shanna did good too imo she had a lot of resilience that i wasn’t expecting from her

“here’s something that will clear up brandi rhodes’ behavior” cool ok that video made no FUCKIGN sense

idk why it makes me laugh whenever legends get their shit kicked in

the bucks tho <3

cody,,,, Hamdnsome

this segment,,,,,, Too Long. i get that was the point. but holy fuck. went on too long

BEST FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!! ORANGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

could have done w/o that rick and morty shit but whatever man i’m just happy to see Them (specifically orange)

sorry my day is perfect now because orange cassidy thank you and goodnight

judas by fozzy slaps. it’s a shame chris jericho looks AWFUL sldkvm

i thought they were gonna kiss lol 

i feel almost bad bc cody looks so handsome and young and Strong and then you cut to jericho and he just looks like a Meme

well. goodness gracious. that was..... wow. ok. 

at least mjf looks Good-

KENNETH!!!!!!!!

kenneth :(((((((((((

kenneth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

chop me like that d-ddy

what a coincidence. kenny snaps his fingers and i, too, drop immediately to the ground

okay yes thirst aside. kenny omega is like,,, the whole package i wanted in a Favorite Wrestler. you know what i mean? obviously so passionate about what he does, so passionate you could damn near taste it. powerful offense, solid defense, and not willing to take a hard ass beating to put over the Other Guy. he never fails to get me interested in any match he’s in. he knows how to tell a story, and he tells it every single goddamn night. he’s a smart fighter, a passionate fighter, and a good fighter, and a strong talker. i could go on for hours but i stan kenny omega so hard

also he fine af lol

jon moxley is one of the most electrifying men in wrestling history. he talks, and i shut my goddamn mouth and hang on to every. fucking. word. he is the KING of promos. you cannot prove otherwise. that shit he just said? i literally had to hold my breath. that was... wow. i’m in whole ass motherfucking awe. and i’m so proud and i’m so happy he’s in a position in his career where he’s allowed to do this shit, where he’s appreciated the way he’s worked hard to be. 

it’s exciting to see ref aubrey officiating this important ass title match. i stan

also it’s to the point where i love both teams so much i’m so excited for a victory for either of them

i did NOT see scu winning. but. also. cali pride dude. gotta b proud!!!!!!!! and i am!!!!!1 that was an AMAZING match and like i said before, regardless of the winner, i was gonna be happy no matter what. 

what an amazing show tonight. thank u, a e dub