#really i think it’s because she’s such a severe & serious beauty (complimentary obviously) that they had her play the straight man (ykwim)

[dozydawn]

Bride’s Magazine, 1989.

Model: Kristin Clotilde Holby.

[kpoptrashibnida]

Enough Pt. 17

A/N: Hey everyone! New update is here! We are getting near the end and its getting intense y’all! Some of you might enjoy what happened at the end of this chapter hehehe. Anyway, as always, your feedback is always appreciated! Happy reading!

‘Please answer me. I can explain! Please, don’t end things like this, I can explain myself. I love you, please just call me back.’

There were about seventeen voicemails from Chanyeol and many texts that said essentially the same thing. He can explain, he loves me, please call me back…. Etc, etc.

You had obviously cancelled your trip to Japan upon hearing the news about Chanyeol and Arisa. You were angry at him for being weak and you were angry at yourself for believing a word that came out of his mouth. You wonder if you had slept with him before he went on the tour would have changed the fact that he cheated on you. Either way, the fact that he cheated has no excuse and he showed his true colors; he had not changed at all.

You ignored all his calls and messages because there was no point in speaking to him. There was nothing he could do or say that would rectify what he did. He couldn’t take it back and you would never take him back. If anything, you wanted nothing to do with him. He is a scumbag that does not deserve another chance. 

It had been about three days since the incident and Chanyeol was calling you every single day, it seems like he did not understand what ‘leave me alone’ means. You were dreading him coming back to Seoul for the concert and you really hoped he did not try to look for you.

You shake your head to clear your thoughts, not needing to think about Chanyeol. Since you cancelled your trip to Japan, you were able to start on other projects. You were working day in and day out, being the first one to get there and the last one to leave. People were still whispering but it had gotten better, especially since Jungkook was always around to ward them off and put them in their place. He was like your personal body guard and you were eternally grateful for it. 

“Hey, can I come in?” Namjoon asks, tapping on your office door.

“Of course boss, my office is your office.” You smile, turning your attention from your computer to Namjoon.

“Hey, so I want to talk and see how you are doing.” He says, getting right to the point. Ah, Namjoon, always so direct.

“I’m fine.” You say, a little too quickly and that has Namjoon raising his eyebrow, not believing you at all.

“Come on. I know you, you don’t have to lie to me.” He insists gently, noticing the dark circles under your eyes.

“Look, I’m pretty sure you have heard about my break up. Well, the fact that Chanyeol cheated on me. I don’t want to talk about it, we are over and that is it. I thought he was a changed man, but he proved me wrong. That’s it, end of story.” You say, sighing from exhaustion at finally talking to someone about it. 

“Yes, I have heard. But if you need some time off, please take it. I’m sure Jimin can finish the project you’re working on.” Namjoon offers but you shake your head. 

“No. It’s fine, really. I’m fine.” You explain, actually meaning it. You were angry and annoyed, but you were not hurt by any means.

“You seem to be over it rather quickly. If I was you, I’d be devastated.” He points out.

“I think that I didn’t truly love him. And the time I was with him, I was anticipating the end.” You confess, expressing words that you couldn’t even express to yourself. 

“Wow. Well, at least you are aware of those feelings. I’m glad you’re doing okay. But if you need some time off, please don’t hesitate to take it.” He offers, standing up to leave your office.

“Thanks Joon, I really appreciate it.” You smile, watching him leave. 

_____________________

“Please answer me. I can explain! Please, don’t end things like this, I can explain myself. I love you, please just call me back.” Chanyeol says before he hangs up, leaving yet another voicemail. He could not believe what happened. He could not believe that he was stuid enough to cheat on you. After all this time trying to get you back, he ruins it for a night of passion. 

The memories of that night come crashing down and he closes his eyes with a deep sigh.

After the concert there was an after party at a club in Kobe. Everyone was there celebrating another great performance and just letting loose and having fun. Everyone was drinking and dancing, all inhibitions were gone. Everyone was praising Chanyeol for his great work and he felt on top of the world at that moment. When Arisa was getting a little too friendly, he ignored it because all he could think about was you. He could not deny that she is a very beautiful girl but his heart was set on you. He kept drinking and partying, not keeping track of just how much alcohol he was consuming. 

“Loey, can I ask you for a favor?” Yuta, Arisa’smanager asked as he came up to Chanyeol.

“Yeah, sure.” He answers, putting his drink away.

“Arisa is tired and wants to go to her Hotel. I need to stay to do some more networking. Would you mind taking her to her hotel on a taxi? I would greatly appreciate it.” Yuta explains.

“Oh sure. I’ll go ahead and take her to her hotel. I feel like I should call it a night too, so I’ll head to my hotel after dropping her off.” Chanyeol explains, texting Sehun to let him know he is heading to his hotel after dropping off Arisa. Chanyeol looks for Arisa and helps her outside where a cab was already waiting. He had a hard time helping her because she was extremely drunk and would not stay still. Thankfully, the cab had complimentary water bottles and he gave one to her in hopes of sobering her up. 

“Okay, we are here.” Chanyeol gently nudges Arisa’s arm to get her attention. She has sobered up a bit but she is still too dizzy to move on her own.

“Channie, can you please help me to my room? I can’t walk straight.” Arisa slurs, resting her head on his shoulder. 

“Oh, okay sure.” Chanyeol agrees and helps Arisa out of the cab.

“Thanks for being so nice.” She says, leaning her body up against Chanyeol.

“No, problem. Be careful.” He says, placing his hands on her shoulders in order to keep her balanced.

Arisa looks up at him and leans in, kissing Chanyeol on the lips. Chanyeol is surprised at the sudden movement and stays still, not reacting to her kiss.

“Arisa, stop.” Chanyeol says, pulling away from the kiss.

“Sorry, I just like you a lot and I got carried away.” She says, looking up into his eyes.

Chanyeol could feel his head spinning, throat closing up. The feeling of Arisa’s soft skin under his fingers was driving him crazy. Arisa took Chanyeol’s silence as agreement of her proposition and took his hand, making her way into the hotel and up to her room.

Chanyeol woke up in the morning with the sun shining on his eyes and the loud blaring of his phone next to his ear. Chanyeol groaned at the pain of his head, immobilized by the strong pounding and the shrill sound of his phone ringing was not making matters better.

Chanyeol groped around the night stand until he found the culprit of the offensive noise.

“Hello?” He says, voice dry and raspy.

“Chanyeol? Where the hell are you?” Sehun’s angry voice through the receiver made Chanyeol’s headache worse.

“What? I’m in my hotel room.” Chanyeol groaned, covering his eyes from the sunlight. 

“No you’re not! I came to your room to wake you up and you’re not there.” Sehun grinds out, losing his patience with Chanyeol.

“What?!” Chanyeol sits up with a start, groaning when his head starts to pound. He looked around and felt the blood drain from his body when he saw the sleeping figure lying next to him in bed, the white sheet not doing much to conceal her bare body.

“Oh fuck.” Chanyeol whispers

“What?” Sehun asks alarmed, hoping Chanyeol wasn’t in danger or trouble.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! I am at Arisa’s hotel! I stayed the night here.” Chanyeol says panicked, getting up from the bed and looking for his clothes.

“Shit!” Sehun yells, running out of the room and making his way to the lobby, hoping to catch a cab on time. “Please tell me that all you did was sleep there?” Sehun asks as he gets into the cab, followed by Chanyeol’s bodyguard.

“No, we had sex.” Chanyeol says, hastily putting on his clothes from the night before. 

“Are you serious Chanyeol? Fuck. Okay, I’ll be there in five, be ready at the lobby.” Sehun instructs, hanging up the phone and closing his eyes, letting out a deep sigh. 

“Thanks for picking me up.” Chanyeol says as he enters the cab, followed by Sehun and his bodyguard.

“Really, Yeol? Is that all you have to say for yourself?” Sehun asks, glaring at Chanyeol.

“Look, things got carried away last night. It was all a mistake, I swear! It didn’t mean anything.” Chanyeol insisted, needing his best friend to believe him.

Sehun scoffed at Chanyeol’s pathetic attempt to excuse his behavior. 

“Is that so? Do you think Noona will agree with that explanation?” Sehun hisses, wanting to throw in Chanyeol’s face the severity of his actions and what he is about to lose. 

“She doesn’t need to know. This will never happen again.” Chanyeol argued, making Sehun lose his temper.

“Are you serious? You are such a motherfu-” Sehun started but was interrupted by Chanyeol’s bodyguard.

“Sir, I think you need to see this.” He said, handing over a tablet with the latest news. A photo of Chanyeol leaving Arisa’s hotel this morning followed by more incriminating photos of the pair from last night.

“Great job, really.” Sehun says, looking over at Chanyeol with so much anger that Chanyeol himself was feeling nervous. Sehun had never looked at him like that before.  

Chanyeol closed his eyes and sighed in defeat, the gravity of his actions dawning on him finally. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and he quickly took it out and he felt his heart drop to his stomach when he read your message.

Babe: We are done. Lose my number and get the fuck out of my life. I never want to see you again.        

“You deserve it.” Sehun says, reading the message on Chanyeol’s phone.

Chanyeol cursed under his breath and closed his eyes, sighing in defeat. He knew he had messed up but he intended to make it right. He couldn’t lose you now that he’s had you. 

Chanyeol was waiting to board the airplane that would take them to Sapporo for the last two shows of the Japan portion of the tour . He had called you multiple times and left many voicemails and sent many text messages but you were not answering any of them. He was desperate to talk to you before he boarded his airplane. Much to his dismay, his call went straight to voicemail, making him let out a growl of frustration.     

“Please answer me. I can’t lose you, it’s all a misunderstanding. You have to believe me.” Chanyeol says into the receiver, sighing in defeat and turning his phone off, boarding the plane with Sehun and other members of his crew. Arisa was also there but she was staying away from Chanyeol and he had a feeling her manager was the cause of that.     

Chanyeol closes his eyes and hopes he can get some sleep on the flight, already dreading the activities he has to do before the concert. The flight attendants have finished the safety demo and the lights have been turned off, ready for take off. 

“Here.” Sehun interrupted Chanyeol’s attempt to nap.

Chanyeol opened his eyes and saw the folder Sehun was holding out to him.

“What’s this?” Chanyeol asks, opening the folder and reading the documents inside.

“As soon as we are done with this tour, I will no longer be your manager. Minseok agreed to take over as your manager. He already reviewed your contract and knows all about your upcoming schedules. It should be a smooth transition.” Sehun explains, eyeing Chanyeol for his reaction.

“What? What the hell? Why are you quitting?” Chanyeol asks, beyond confused and hurt.

“I warned you to not hurt noona. She is my friend as well. I cannot keep working for someone who does as he pleases and hurts the people that care for him. Minseok is more than capable of being your manager.” Sehun says, done with Chanyeol and his bullshit. 

“Are you serious? All this because of one stupid mistake?” Chanyeol questions, not believing the lack of loyalty from his so-called best friend. 

“Wow. You still fail to see the reality? This is not just a silly little mistake you can brush off and forget about. You hurt two people. You hurt noona, someone who believed you actually changed. And you also hurt Arisa because you don’t know what kind of feelings she has and you and I’m sure you’re not interested in pursuing something serious with her. I need some time away from you and I hope you can understand that.” Sehun says, finality to his tone.

Chanyeol closes his eyes and sighs once again, his life is fast going downhill.  

____________________

You were sitting on your couch, staring at the blank screen of the tv. You were sitting in the dark and nursed a glass of wine. The burn of the liquid going down your throat was a great compliment to the hot tears rolling down your face. You sniffed the tears away, already tired of crying. You placed the wine glass on the coffee table and grab your blinking phone. You stared at the lit up screen and contemplated whether you should call or message the reason for your tears. You wanted to dial the number and hear his voice, but you were not ready. You knew you would lose it and break down the second you heard his voice and so you decided to not call. If you were not going to be able to be coherent and express yourself correctly, then you’d rather not call. 

Getting up from the couch, you make your way to your bedroom and start to get ready for bed. You had a lot of work to do tomorrow and you did not want to be sleep deprived and tired. Closing your eyes you take a deep breath and try to relax in order to fall asleep, the wine coursing through your veins helping you.

“You seem to be in a better mood.” Jungkook points out, falling into step with you on your way to your office.

“Thanks. I feel a lot better.” You smile, actually meaning it.  

“You were bummed out for a while, he doesn’t deserve it.” Jungkook nudges you and gives you his signature bunny smile.

“Thanks Kook. But I wasn’t bummed out because of Chanyeol.” You explain, entering your office and dropping your purse on your desk.

“Oh?” Jungkook lets out surprised. He closes the door behind him and makes himself comfortable on the chair across from you. 

“So why were you bummed out then?” He asks, genuinely curious.

“Because I was stupid to let myself believe he changed. I ruined something precious and real for smoke and mirrors. I acted stupidly and I can never forgive myself for it. I hurt the person that means the world to me, and for what? To satisfy a man’s ego? I’ve been really stupid Jungkook. And there’s nothing I can do to fix it.” You sigh, giving your attention to your computer and trying with all your might to not cry. You did not want to do that in front of Jungkook.

“Are you talking about the guy from New York?” Jungkook asks, already knowing the answer. 

“Yeah.” You whisper, holding back tears as you brought up your work email, getting ready to start working.

Jungkook was quiet for a few minutes and you forgot he was in your office until he let out a deep sigh and stood up from the chair. He made his way to you and gave you a big hug, his long arms wrapping around you and meeting right above your chest. He placed his head on the crook of your neck and squeezed you, shaking you a little. 

“Noona, don’t give up. If you still love him, then reach out to him. If he loved you as much as I’m sure he did, you might still have a chance. Just make sure that it’s what you want.” He says, finally letting go of you. 

You slowly turned to look at him and were oddly shy at the serious way he was looking at you. 

“What makes you think he still loves me? Or that he will take me back?” You ask, voice quivering with emotion because you wanted it; you wanted it so badly that you were willing to risk it all for him. Your career, your life, your family, friends, everything. You just needed him back in your life. 

“I can’t guarantee it noona. But if you still love him, it’s worth a try. If he rejects you, then you don’t have to live with the what-if’s. But if he takes you back, then you can have the thing you love the most back in your life and you win. But you won’t know unless you try.” He says with conviction, a big contrast to the silly and light-hearted Jungkook you know.

“Whoa! Since when are you so enlightened?” You tease.

“I have my moments.” He shrugs and smiles.

“Thank you Jungkook. Really, I mean it.” You give him a smile that he reciprocates before heading out, saying something about how Namjoon will beat his ass if he’s not at his post.

You laugh and shake your head, loving the silly actions of your dear friend. 

You get up and head to the conference room where the manager’s meeting was going to take place. You had something very important to talk to Namjoon about.

“That about sums up the reports for this week. Everyone is doing a great job, just please remember to submit the new budget proposals by the end of the day. Anything else we need to add Mr. Kim?” Jung Hoseok, the VP, asks Namjoon as they’re wrapping up the meeting.

“Just one more announcement I forgot to mention earlier. Next week we will be having a new employee. He transferred from the Japan branch and he will be joining the PR team, he has a lot of experience and will be a great addition to our Seoul branch.” Namjoon said, everyone murmuring with curiosity.

You were not paying attention to what he just said because you were preoccupied rehearsing what you were going to tell him. You were brought to the present time when you heard the rustling of people picking up their folders and getting up. You quickly gather your belongings and follow Namjoon out of the conference room, hoping to get to him before someone else does.

“Hey Namjoon, can I speak to you for a minute?” You ask, falling into step with him.

“Hey, yeah of course. Is everything okay?” He asks, concerned about the serious look on your face.

“Yeah.” You say, not convincing him.

You enter his office and he closes the door behind you, pointing to the couch so you can take a seat.

“So, what did you want to talk to me about?” He asks again, hoping everything is okay.

“I would like to see if I can get next week off.” You blurt out, not wanting to chicken out. 

Namjoon raises his eyebrows in surprise, not expecting you to be asking for time off.

“You know how you offered me some time off if I needed it? Well, I need it. I hope the offer is still available.” You explain, hoping he would understand.

“Oh yes, of course. I’ll go ahead and submit the approval for your time off.” Namjoon said, giving you a small smile.

“Thank you Joon.” You were extremely thankful that he approved the time off. You knew he would, but the way life had been going for you lately, you had to be ready for the worst.

“You know I’m here if you ever need to talk, right?” He asks before you leave his office.

“I know,” You were so thankful he was a good friend and is always there for you. “I just have something really important I have to do.” You tell him, giving him a smile before you exit his office, more determined than ever to make things right.

______________________

“I can’t believe you’re actually doing this.” Mina says, watching you from the kitchen as you finish packing up your suitcase.

“Why does this feel like deja vu? Don’t you have something better to do?” You ask her in mock annoyance, actually happy to have her by your side. 

“Fine bitch, I’ll let you take an expensive cab to the airport.” She threatened, but you know she was bluffing.

“I’m joking. Thank you for being so willing to take me to the airport.” You say, zipping up your suitcase and placing it near your entrance. 

“Of course.” Mina suddenly became serious, which wasn’t an often occurrence for her. “Are you nervous?” She asks, genuinely worried about you.

“A little. I don’t know what’s going to happen.” You confess, genuinely scared. Your stomach was in knots and you felt nauseous. But you were not going to back down, you had to do this. 

“Well, let me know as soon as you land. We better get going though, you don’t want to miss your flight.” Mina says, helping you take your suitcase down to her car.

The whole ride to the airport was spent with Mina talking about all the new things Minjun had been learning to do. You were thankful for the distraction because the closer you got to the airport, the more nervous and nauseous you felt. You were not going to back down though; you were going to get on that airplane and fight for the love of your life.

Mina stopped at the drop off curb and gave you a hug before you grabbed your carry on bag and made your way into the airport. You went through the motions in auto pilot, not wanting to focus on the erratic beating of your heart. You knew that it was going to be worth it, whether it went well or not. You sat at the boarding area, waiting for boarding to start.Taking out your phone from your pocket, you debated whether you should call him or not. You wanted to, so badly, but you could not risk it. You did not want to be disappointed if he didn’t answer. The boarding had begun and you took one shaky breath, getting up from your seat and making your way to the boarding door. Thankfully, it was not a full flight and therefore you do not have anyone sitting next to you. It was going to be a very long flight and you needed all the time to rehearse what you were going to say the moment you saw the love of your life. 

________________________

“Chanyeol, where the hell are you going? Stop!” Sehun screams behind Chanyeol, trying to catch up to him.

“I have to go find her. I need to speak to her.” Chanyeol yells back, determined to go straight to your work. It was Friday afternoon and he knew if he made his way straight to your job, he  could still find you. He needed to speak to you and really hoped you would hear him out. 

“Chanyeol, stop! You can’t do this to her! If she said she’s done with you, accept it and more on!” Sehun tried, running as fast as he could but he could not catch up to the determined Chanyeol.

Chanyeol ignored him and ran faster, finally reaching the curb. He saw a business man exiting a cab and chanyeol quickly shuffled past him and got in the cab.

“Hurry, please drive as fast as you can.” Chanyeol pleaded with the cab driver, locking the door instantly. 

The driver pulled away from the curb and started the drive towards your work building, leaving an angry Sehun yelling at the retrieving cab. He could not believe how ridiculous and selfish Chanyeol can be, but he’s glad he will no longer have to deal with him after the tour is over. 

Chanyeol ran out of the cab after paying and throwing a ‘thank you’ to the driver over his shoulder and sprinted into your building, hoping to catch you still at work. 

He runs into the reception area and makes a beeline to the elevators; however, before he can go inside one, he is stopped by a muscular body.

“I’m sorry, you can’t go up without an appointment.” Jungkook says in a serious tone, blocking Chanyeol’s path. 

“I don’t need an appointment.” Chanyeol grumbles, trying to push Jungkook out of his way.

“You do, actually. You don’t have clearance to go up to the main floor.” Juungkook tries again, slightly pushing Chanyeol back.

“What do you mean I don’t have clearance? I’ve been able to go up before without any problem.” Chanyeol insists, getting very irritated because he is not getting his way. 

“Yes, well we have recently changed our security policy and you no longer have clearance.” Jungkook says with finality, really hoping that Chanyeol did not try to get in the elevator.

“Look, I am here to see-”

“I understand who you are trying to see.” Jungkook lets out aggravated, irritated by Chanyeol’s persistence. “But she is not here and she made it clear you no longer have clearance for this building. Please leave before I call security to have you escorted.” 

Chanyeol stares down Jungkook, completely shocked that you went to such lengths.

“Where is she?” He asks, voice hoarse. He could not believe what he was hearing. 

“I cannot disclose that information.” Jungkook scoffs, not believing that this man in front if him was asking such stupid questions. 

Chanyeol scoffs and turns to leave the building, thinking of what to do next. He calls your phone and hopes you answer because he is slowly going insane. He has an uncomfortable feeling of deja vu and he does not like it one bit. He gets in another cab and tells him the address of the next place he intends to look for you. 

Chanyeol walks up the walkway of the house he hopes you’re at. He wanted to go to your apartment but he wanted that to be his last option. He rang the doorbell and hoped you were here because he felt like he was on the brink of losing it. 

“Oh. What are you doing here?” Suho asked surprised, keeping his voice down.

“Is she here?” Chanyeol asked, getting straight to the point.

“No she is not. Please leave.” Suho presses, lowering his voice even further. 

“Are you sure? You’re not lying, are you?” Chanyeol insisted, not believing that his friend is being truthful.

“Yes I’m sure. Look, you can’t be-”

Chanyeol pushed past Suho and entered his home in a haste, ignoring the ‘come back’ he heard Suho yell. 

He came into the living room expecting to see you with Mina, but much to his dismay, it was only Mina there. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Mina asked with hostility, not liking the fact that Chanyeol was in her house.

“Where is she? I know she’s here.” Chanyeol said, looking around the house, expecting to see you emerge from the bathroom.

“You have no fucking right to ask about her. YOU cheated on HER, or do you not fucking remember that?!” Mina yelled, enraged that this giant idiot had the audacity to come into her home and demand your whereabouts. 

“I need to speak to her, I need to explain what happened.” Chanyeol insisted, annoyed that he was getting backlash for trying to be a decent person. 

“Get the fuck out of my house!” Mina felt like she was going to rupture a blood vessel with the amount of anger she was feeling at that moment. 

“I Have to speak to her!” Chanyeol lost it and raised his voice to Mina, which was a huge mistake. 

He did not see it coming, but he should have because raising his voice was not the brightest choice. Mina slapped him across the face, stunning him in silence.

“That is for being a coward and cheating on my best friend.” Mina started before taking a deep breath and slapping Chanyeol again, feeling satisfaction when her hand connected with his face and he flinched away, still stunned in silence. 

“And that is for coming to my house and disrespecting me.” Mina was breathing very hard and was trying to control her anger, so she wouldn’t hit him again no matter how much she wanted to. 

Chanyeol was saved by the fact that you could hear the faint cries of Minjun coming from his bedroom; surely woken up from his nap due to the yelling and commotion coming from the living room.

“You better be gone by the time I’m back. If not, I fucking swear I’ll kill you Chanyeol. I’m not fucking joking. You better leave.” Mina threatened, actually scaring Chanyeol because he knew she was being serious. 

Chanyeol still stood in stunned silence, eyes watering as his face was still stinging from the slaps he received. 

“Hey, please leave.” Suho finally came over to him, slightly nudging him towards the entrance. 

Suho was ready to step in when Chanyeol raised his voice at Mina, but decided against it when he saw her slap him. Truth be told, Suho wanted to punch Chanyeol too, for hurting you and for thinking he could invade their personal space. But he was glad his wife did it because he didn’t want to bruise his face during the middle of his tour, no matter how much he deserved it. 

“Okay.” Chanyeol said in defeat, exiting his friend's house.

Suho did feel a little bad for him, but nothing can excuse his horrible behavior. 

“Do you know where she is?” Chanyeol asks once outside Suho’s house. 

Suho debated whether or not he should tell him, but he figured that he needed to know in order to get closure.

“Yeah. She is back in the states.” Suho tells him, watching his reaction.

“Oh.” Chanyeol’s shoulders slumped in defeat, already knowing the reason you were back in the states.

“Okay, well, I’m sorry you had to deal with me tonight.” Chanyeol says, already leaving his friend’s property and calling for a cab. 

He feels a tear roll down his face as the cab passes the familiar streets on the way to Chanyeol’s apartment. He knows that you went to look for that Jaehyun guy. He always had a feeling that you were not completely over him and this just proves him right. He can’t believe he lost you because of his stupidity and carnal needs. Now you were gone and he most likely lost you forever. 

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[queenofallthewrongchoices]

And He Lets the Chips Fall Where They May

Series: The Freshman  

Synopsis: This fic takes place in The Freshman book 1 in between chapters 15 and 16. I’ve been replaying The Freshman over for the hundredth time and always wanted a better glimpse at what the conversation between Chris and Becca was like when he suddenly realized that he wanted to go to the winter formal with the MC instead of her, so this is my take on that conversation. 

Pairing: Chris x MC (Nadia)

Characters: Chris and Becca with mentions of the MC

No real age restrictions but there is some very mild suggestive language

Author’s Note: While writing has been a long-time hobby of mine, this is the first fanfic I’ve ever written and the first time I’ve written a piece work featuring characters that aren’t mine. I know it’s both lengthy and wordy but I tend to write how I talk so forgive me. 

Chris walks up the steps of the large sorority house he’d been residing in for the past couple of months, he can’t help but notice an uneasiness weighing down on him. While his heart was never truly in any of his dealings with Becca, he had convinced himself it was inconsequential because it was all in the name of having a good time. It was his first semester of freshman year, after all, and he was only interested in cutting loose, unwinding, and forgetting she who shall not be named. Trying his best to avoid anything serious at all costs. Admittedly so Becca, in a lot of ways, provided that for him. She was a little older and more experienced, so she often took the reins in their “relationship” in all aspects, which was new yet exciting. Or at least it had been.

Any other guy would’ve been overjoyed at the prospect of shacking up in a sorority house with a bunch of beautiful carefree college girls, and at first, he himself was quite delighted by the notion. But for some reason Chris couldn’t shake the thought of one specific girl who had charmed him from the very first moment he had laid eyes on her. He kept telling himself that it was for the best that he kept his distance. He wasn’t ready for a relationship and he didn’t want to hurt her any more than he already had. That was all true, and yet his mind continued to wander to what seemed to be a far-off reality of them being happy together.

He decided to put those thoughts to rest for the time being as he knocked on the large oak doors of the Kappa house. Becca had texted him excited about the dresses she had purchased for the big winter formal scheduled for that weekend and wanted his opinion since he was her date. “It’s important that we make a statement together as a couple.” She said. A concept that he thought he left behind in high school but he didn’t question it. He didn’t question much, as of late. He was just going with the flow. No expectations. Just fun. But his lackadaisical attitude seemed to be leading him towards real relationship territory with Becca and that was something he didn’t like. Although he had made it quite clear to Becca that he wasn’t interested in defining their relationship now or any moment in the future, she still felt an ownership over him. And could he really blame her? He had been sleeping in her bed on and off for the past several weeks, he had drunkenly admitted to her some heavy things concerning his dad he hadn’t told anyone, and they’d been engaging in all manners of hooking up over that time frame. So yes, she wasn’t wrong to have expectations of what they were becoming. But still the whole thing was uncomfortable for him. Here he was, Mr. Hypocrite, doing all the things he said he didn’t want with a girl he knew he didn’t want them with.

Suddenly the door swung open, pulling him from his thoughts as he was greeted by a familiar redhead who he saw regularly during his visits to the Kappa house. She was a sophomore who was dating one of the upperclassmen football players named Reggie. Her name was either Amber or Cassidy. He could never seem to remember despite her constantly reminding him. He was ashamed to admit it but all the Kappa girls sort of meshed together these days, none of them having any real distinguishable personalities, at least not to him.

“Oh, hey Chris. I should’ve known it was you. Becca’s upstairs in her room.” She said in a loud sing-songy voice. She seemed tipsy undoubtedly pregaming for some party, kickback, or another.  “Hey, thanks.” He said as he walked in. She answered with a smile and nod then returned to her awaiting pre-party cocktails and friends, more members of the sorority he recognized, all huddled around the island in the kitchen.

Her familiar greeting was another thing that didn’t sit right with him. He had become too much of a staple in the house. Football players frequenting the Kappa house wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Oddly enough it was sort of tradition at Hartfeld. The politics surrounding the dating scene amongst the Kappas and the football team reminded him of that of the Pink Ladies and the T-Birds from Grease. The Kappas were the football players’ girls and vice versa. They had first dibs on one another and everyone else, meaning the rest of the Hartfeld population, had to get in line. Even with that knowledge he still felt conflicted. Was Becca at her core truly a cool girl to be around and very different from the off-putting stuck up persona she portrayed to the general public? Yes, unbelievably so. But his heart just wasn’t in it. A fact that was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. Regardless there was no point in dwelling on it. He turned and closed the door before heading up the winding stairs leading to Becca’s room.  

And before he knew it there he was. Standing outside Becca’s bedroom door glancing at the jewel encrusted “B” that adorned it. It was so regal and so Becca. Hanging from the doorknob was a yellow sign fashioned after a yellow light indicating to anyone seeking entry into her room that they should “Slow down and knock first”. She also had a green one that read “Go ahead and come in” and a red one that read “Stop. Don’t even think about it.” The red one was only used if she wasn’t in the mood to deal with whatever petty squabble her sorors had found themselves in or when she was trying to set the mood with someone in particular, that someone being him as of late.  

One knock was all it took before he was greeted by the stunning leggy blond. He couldn’t help but admit that Becca was indeed gorgeous. She was attractive in an obvious and conventional way. When he first met Becca, he couldn’t help but think that she looked like your typical mean girl that served as a foil to the female lead in a classic young adult comedy film. She immediately pulled him into a hug and gave him a quick peck on the lips before she ushered him into her room. “There you are. Finally. I’ve been dying to show you the dresses I picked out.”

The room that was normally so neatly put together looked like a department store after a huge weekend sale. Scattered around the room were a different assortment of dresses of varying lengths and colors.

“I admit that I may have went a little overboard at the mall but they all looked so cute on me. Luckily you get to watch me model them and help me decide which one best compliments my amazing body.”

“Can’t wait.” He chuckled to himself. Becca was definitely the most high maintenance girl he’d ever met. He didn’t mind though. It was something he found charming about her believe it or not.

“Good. I’ll try this red number on first. Red always looks good on me. Something I’m sure you can agree with.” She says flirtatiously. She gives him a devilish wink and scurried to her closet to change.

While he waited, Chris pulled up his Pictogram account mindlessly scrolling to pass the time. His fingers landed on one post from Nadia that cost his attention. The caption read, “Throwback to last summer visiting family in Miami. The sun was good to me that day.” And there she was, sporting the most brilliant smile he’d ever seen on her. Her eyes were closed, face tilted up toward the setting sun as it cast an angelic glow across her features. Her brown skin was a couple shades darker than usual undoubtedly tanned from being out in the sun. Her wavy hair was longer here. It cascaded in waves over her shoulders and down her back with a complimentary red flower tucked neatly above her right ear. She looked breathtaking. That was the only way to describe it. He stared at the picture for what seemed to be an eternity memorizing every little detail. Completely and utterly captivated.

“Ahem. Chris I said what do you think?” Becca said in a familiar annoyed tone. He was so distracted that he hadn’t realized that she had returned to the main room let alone that she was talking to him.

“Oh, my bad Becca. You look great.” He said slightly embarrassed sitting up a little straighter in his seat. And she did honestly. The dress was an off the shoulder long flowing gown that hugged her figure in all the right places. Although Chris’ compliment was mostly genuine he still couldn’t help but notice how flat it sounded to his own ears. He only hoped that Becca didn’t notice.

“Boys.” She said in a dismissive yet playful manner. “I know you’re only interested in what’s underneath it.” She said. “Oh well I still have an assortment of gowns to try on so you’re just going to have to fake interest Mr. Powell. I promise I’ll make it worth your while later.” She gave him a smirk that otherwise would’ve been sexy if his mind wasn’t elsewhere and grabbed a strapless black dress to try on next.

While she changed, his thoughts began to wander once more. This time he thought about the formal and wondered if Nadia was going and if so with who. James no doubt. They had been spending a lot of time together lately and they were obviously attracted to each other. James was indeed an attractive guy. He was secure enough to admit it. Honestly James was an ideal match for just about any girl especially Nadia. He was good-looking, studious, a real gentleman, slightly older so more mature, and rich. What’s not to like? They seemed to have a lot in common. Way more than he had with her anyways.

This whole line of thinking made him feel guilty and a little hypocritical because here he was making plans to go to the formal with Becca and he was worried about who Nadia, a girl he rejected, was spending her free time with. But he couldn’t help it because deep down he knew that she was the one he wanted to be with. The chemistry they had was undeniable. Anyone who had ever been around them long enough commented on it. But he was afraid. Of what at this point? He was no longer sure. All his past reasons now seemed like mere excuses.

Becca modeled gown after gown each one more gorgeous than the last but her indecision began to set in as she started to retry on certain dresses that exuded the right amount of elegance and sex appeal. Or so she phrased it.

“There all cute I suppose but it has to be perfect.” She says in a huff becoming annoyed with her own indecision. “Have you already rented your tux? You don’t seem to be concerned with what you’re wearing.”

“Yeah. I still have the one from the sorority ball.”

She scoffs and shakes her head. “Boys. I swear you guys have it so easy. Here I am indecisively picking through a dozen dresses to wear and you’re simply settling on a tux that you’ve already worn. Luckily it looks so good on you.” She says flirtatiously once more.

At this point, Chris had grown tired in both a literal and mental sense of this entire conversation. It had been two hours of watching Becca model dresses for him and the more he thought about it the less the whole idea of going to formal with her interested him.

Nadia had been consuming his thoughts all night long. Her smile, her laugh, the way she cocked her head to the side when she talked to him. He could no longer ignore what he was feeling. It was quite simple. He wanted to go to the formal with her.

He wanted to see her in a beautiful gown with an expertly made up face just for him. He wanted to hold her on the dance floor, swaying to some romantic R&B hit while the world faded around them, and he wanted to close the night out with her peacefully laying her gorgeous head on his chest as the collective sounds of their heartbeats lulled each other to sleep. And it pained him to think that James or anyone else could possibly experience those things in his place.

Becca continued to make mindless conversation regarding the formal in the background as he finally came to the realization that he had known all along.

“Becca, I can’t do this.” He said.

“Oh fine. I’ll just ask Madison to help me. I should’ve known that as a guy you wouldn’t be all that interested. It’s fine. Just help me out of this dress and maybe we can go grab a bite eat.”

“No. I mean…” He hesitated. “I mean I can’t go to formal with you.”

His words seemed to echo shortly followed by an immediate uncomfortable silence as they stared at one another. Becca’s expression was completely unreadable. No trace of sadness or anger. Just completely blank. Maybe there was a taste of confusion mixed in but he wasn’t completely sure. He began to avoid her gaze.

She eventually broke the silence with a long and exasperated sigh saying, “Well are you going to at least give me an explanation or continue sitting there with that dumb look on your face? And please don’t tell me this has anything to do with that skinny, fashion-challenged freshman.” And there it was anger and annoyance perfectly mingling together across her features.

He hated having to admit that her assertion was correct but lying would be an insult to them both at this point.

He nodded with an apologetic look and began to say, “Sorry. I don’t mean to hurt you or anything. I just…”

“Oh please.” She cuts him off. “Just go. Whatever pointless thing you’re about to say next you can keep. Your energy is better spent on whatever crackpot apology you’re going to run by Nadia.” She gives him an unfazed look undoubtedly to mask the hurt and embarrassment she feels and walks back towards her closet to change out of her gown.

Chris stands there a little while longer debating on whether he should go try to apologize once more or leave. He settles on the latter. Becca’s anger was justified and he felt like crap doing this to her, but more than anything he felt a greater sense of urgency to get to Nadia and try to salvage what was left of their relationship. If he could even call it that.

He hurriedly dashed down the steps and out the door towards his car. He drove as fast as the speed limit would allow towards the parking lot of the freshman dorms. All he could do at this point was hope and pray that he wasn’t too late.

[youcancallmecirce]

Here's me asking for what i was going to ask already on AO3 and at your request to remind you madame of the altered reality pairings for ChloNath *bow* 1. The spoiled mayor child Nath and avid painter Chloe, 2. The gender switch, and 3. the same gender love type. Dont have to be in that order, just listing them so you can find them easier with numerical separation. Either way! I CANT WAIT!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOVE YOUR STUFF!!!!

I’m starting with the Life Swap AU.  Enjoy!  (There’s lots more to the story after the break!!!)

Chloe set her easel directly in front of the large gallery windows, clipped her paper into place, and carefully laid out her supplies: pencils, sharpener, eraser, blending stick.

She was halfway through a series of tasteful, understated nudes, focused on showcasing the grace, power and beauty of the human body in all its forms—not just classic beauty, but those society dubbed ‘not ideal’ as well.  She’d already drawn all of the women for the series.  Mylene had posed for her, surprisingly enough, and she’d been able to capture her shy friend in all of her curvy beauty.  Marinette’s mother, Sabine, had volunteered for the project as well, along with several other women of varying ages and body types.

Drawing the women had been easy; drawing the men was proving a far greater challenge.  So far, she’d only done two, and both sessions had been awkward in the extreme.  Today, she didn’t even know who she’d be drawing, and she wasn’t sure whether that made things better, or worse.  If she didn’t know them, then she wouldn’t have to face them again later. That was better, right?

Right??

She shifted uneasily, wondering who she’d be working with, and began working on a few quick warm up sketches to distract herself while she waited.

Ten minutes later, she tilted her head, considering the roughly drawn figures, and sighed.  There was little more she could do without someone to draw.  She’d just begun to dig through her bag for a snack, when the studio door opened and Nathanaël Kurtzberg, of all people, waltzed in.  She gasped, and shrank behind the easel.  Was he in the wrong room?  He had to be in the wrong room, and since he probably hadn’t seen her, she could just stay out of sight and he’d leave—

“I don’t know why you’re hiding back there, Goldie, but if you intend to waste my time then I will just leave.  Mother did want me to go schmooze at some City Hall luncheon today.”

She cringed.  He’d definitely seen her, but he still might be in the wrong room.  There was a rustling as he set down his bag and removed his coat, obviously intending to stay a while.  She took a deep breath, smoothed the wrinkles from her yellow blouse, blew the heavy fringe from her eyes, and stepped out from behind the easel.

Only to gasp and dart right back behind it, her face crimson.

“Is there a problem, Goldie?”  She could hear the amusement in his voice, and she just knew that he was laughing at her.

“You’re naked!”

He chuckled, and there was more rustling.  “Well, not yet, but I will be soon.  Aren’t you going to be drawing me naked?”

She peeked from behind the easel, careful to keep her eyes glued to his face and resolutely not thinking about the subtly sculpted planes of his torso.  “Wait, you’re my model for today?”

He smirked, and made a show of rummaging through his messenger bag, and checking a schedule.  “Chloe Bourgeois, right?  Studio 716, 10am,” he deadpanned.

“Yeah.  Yeah, that’s right.”  Oh, it just wasn’t fair.  Nathanaël Kurtzberg was sinfully beautiful, rich as Croesus, arrogant as hell, and completely and utterly comfortable in his own skin.  If only he hadn’t grown out of being the nasty, spoiled brat he’d been in collége; at least then she could write him off as a jerk and focus on drawing.  But no, he had grown out of it, and she’d been nursing a crush since sometime in in lycée.

And now she was supposed to draw him.

Naked.

“You alright there, Goldie?  I’m serious, I do have other things to get to today, so if you’re not going to use me, I’m going to put my clothes back on and leave.”

Chloe shoved down all of the errant thoughts about how she’d like to ‘use’ him, and shook herself.  “Er, yeah.  I just, well I wasn’t, uh, I wasn’t expecting…you.”  He arched a brow, and she realized that probably hadn’t come across as complimentary.  “Not—not that there’s anything wrong with you!  I didn’t know who I was expecting.  At all.”

The smirk intensified, and his unusual green-blue eyes sparked with mischief.  “So, Chloe, how do you want me?”

Her eyes widened, and darted down in spite of her best intentions not to. At least he’d kept on his underwear, but the fitted boxer briefs did little to hide his body.  Her face flamed, and his smirk turned to a knowing grin.  She squeezed her eyes shut, smoothed down her blouse again, and prayed that her blush hadn’t gotten out of control.  Then she began shuffling through her stack of possible sketches, grateful for the distraction.

“I uh, have sketches of the poses I’d like to use in the series.”  She pulled two from the stack, and considered them thoughtfully.  “There are two that I’d like you to try.  The one I like the best will be very difficult for you to maintain for any length of time, so if you don’t mind, I will take a photograph for a reference.  Then I can get just a rough outline this morning, and fill in the details later.  If you have time after that, we can try the second pose.”  She passed them both to him, eyeing him shyly. “Is—is that ok?”

He looked at both the sketches, and nodded, his smirk back in place.  “You’re the artist, Chlo.  I’m just here to look pretty.”

“Right. Ah, ok.”  She moved a sturdy chair into the center of the room, in front of her easel, and angled it to the side.  “I just need you to, um…”  She gestured weakly to his underwear, and he grinned.

“Are you sure your delicate sensibilities can handle it?”

She scowled, and hid her warm face behind her hands.  “Don’t be an ass, Nathanael,” she grumbled, finally losing patience with his teasing.  “This is hard enough for me as it is.  I really don’t appreciate being made fun of.”

He looked contrite, surprisingly enough, and then he blushed.  What?

He cleared his throat, and turned his back to slide the boxer briefs from his legs.  “Sorry.  I’ve done this before, but never nude, and never—well, let’s just say I’m not as comfortable as I might appear to be.”

Chloe gaped at him, stunned.  She’d never once heard him apologize voluntarily, and she’d certainly never heard him admit to a weakness before.  Granted, she hadn’t seen him much in the years since lycée, but still!

Her eyes slid down his naked form, appreciating the clean lines of his lithe, compact body, and found her attraction to him growing.  Shit.

He half turned to face her, and suddenly she got a glimpse of something other than his well-defined ass.  She jerked her eyes back to his, and saw that his blush had darkened apace with hers.  “Ah, if you’ll just look at the sketch and get into place, and uh, get yourself situated, I’ll adjust your pose until it looks the way I want it to.”

“Sure,” he said, and she all but ran to hide behind her easel once more.

Merde, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all, Nathanaël thought, watching her scurry to hide once more.  He’d wanted to spend time with her, to show her that he was not the beast he’d been back in school, but this wasn’t going at all as he’d hoped.

He stifled a sigh, knowing that there was nothing for it now but to forge ahead, and studied the sketch she’d handed him.  Then he set it aside and stepped onto the chair, facing the back.  With his hands on the top, he positioned his toes in the middle of the seat and shifted his weight to the balls of his feet, touching his bent knees to the top of the back rest.  Rather than resting his haunches on his feet, though, he tried to keep his thighs parallel to the seat and the floor.  Chloe was right; this was not a position he could keep up for long.  He let his weight rest on his heels, since there was no point in holding the difficult position until she needed him to.  When he was sure that his goods were ah, ‘situated’, as she put it, he cleared his throat.  “I’m ready.”

He heard her draw a deep breath and let it out slowly, and then she came out of hiding.  He could tell right away that she’d shifted into artist mode, because her eyes had turned critical, and she studied him unabashedly.

“You’re perfect for this pose, I think,” she said absently.  “Turn your shoulders toward the easel, but keep your face oriented in the same direction as your knees.”

As she continued to direct him, he obliged as well as he could.  When it wasn’t quite what she wanted, she used gentle fingers to nudge him until he was positioned just so.  Sometimes, she would step back to look at him from farther away, and then come closer to adjust his position again.  When she was done, his shoulders were twisted at a ninety degree angle from his hips, and she’d placed his right hand in a fist over his heart. His left was raised so that his fist obscured his eyes, but left the rest of his profile exposed.  It was an awkward position, to be sure, even without lifting his weight.

“There,” she said with clear satisfaction coloring her tone.  “Just hold still for just a second…”  She angled her easel so that she could see him, pulled her phone from her bag and then fiddled with it, obviously bringing up her camera app. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah.”  He lifted his weight once more, and fought to keep his body immobile and his face neutral when his thighs immediately began to burn.  “Is this good?”

“Just a little bit lower…Perfect!  Don’t move!”

He heard her snap several photos, and willed her to finish quickly.  He’d thought he was fit, but this was more challenging than he’d initially realized.

“Ok, I’ve got it.  You can relax now.”

“Fuck, thank you.”  He dropped his arms and his weight with relief.  “I don’t know how much longer I could have held that.”

She giggled.  “I saw you shaking.  I’m not even going to try sketching you like that; I’ll just work from the picture.”

He slumped further and moved from the chair, forgetting for a moment that he was entirely naked.  He looked at her when she squeaked, and froze in mortification when he realized that he’d inadvertently given her an unobstructed view of everything.  Worse, she’d frozen as well, with her eyes riveted on his member—and it was growing under her attention.

Fuck.

He forced himself to move, and snatched his shirt from the floor to hold it strategically over his nakedness.  “So, that other pose?”

She shook herself and pulled her eyes away, but they did not meet his.  A fiery blush stained her cheeks.  “Yeah, right.  The pose.  Ah, here.”  She crossed to the corner, and pulled a long wooden staff from a nook between the wall and a large shelving unit.  “Face away from me, and stand with your feet shoulder width apart.  Um, rotate your whole body a little to the left.  I need your thigh to block—uh, yeah.  Like that.  Now take this and rest it across your shoulders, with your wrists draped over either end, and turn your head so that I can see your face in profile.  Perfect!”

He smiled at the excitement in her tone, and watched from the corner of his eye as she lifted her cell phone again.

“Do you mind if I take pictures of this one, too?  I want to have a reference in case we run out of time.”

“Go right ahead.”

She snapped several more pictures, tossed her phone into her bag, and finally took up her pencils.  They were quiet as she worked, and for some time the only sounds were the hum of a space heater and scratch of her pencil across the paper.

It was boring.

His shoulders ached, and his arms were going to sleep. He tried wiggling his fingers, but it only made them feel tinglier.  Was tinglier even a word?

He sighed.  Nathanaël Kurtzberg was not accustomed to boredom or discomfort.  He considered telling her to just use the picture to finish, but then he’d have to leave and he still hadn’t asked her out.  He could always steamroll her into going out with him, in return for his posing today, and a few years ago, he might have done just that.  But he didn’t want her to say yes because she had to.   He wanted her to say yes because she wanted to, and that put a whole new complexion on things.

Nathanaël Kurtzberg was not accustomed to feeling vulnerable, either. It chafed.  He sighed again.

“Are you ok?” She asked, and he jumped at the unexpected sound of her voice.  “You keep sighing.”

“Yeah, I’m good.  Just a little bored.”

“Oh! I’m sorry.  That’s my fault.  I usually try to chat with my subjects, to make the time go by, but I guess I was just lost in my own thoughts.”

She lapsed into silence again, and he turned his head a bit more to look at her.  She was blushing again, and was worrying her lower lip between her teeth.  Maybe she didn’t know what to talk about?

Well, that made two of them.

He cast about for something to say.  “So, um…will both of these drawings go into the series?”

“No!  I’m only doing sixteen portraits, and each subject is appearing only once.”

He frowned, feeling disappointed at that.  “Does that mean you’ll only actually finish one of them?”

“No, I um…I plan to finish them both.”  She tilted her head, her eyes darting back and forth between him and her paper as she considered what she’d done.  “I need to see them both, finished, to know which one belongs in the series.”

“What will you do with the other?”

“I uh, haven’t thought about it,” she replied, blushing.  “What banquet were you supposed to go to?”

Nathanaël noted that she was changing the subject, but let it go.  “Some political fund raiser.  Mother is already gearing up for next year’s campaign.”

She winced.  “I’m sorry you’re missing it.”

“I’m not.  If I weren’t here, I’d have likely found another excuse not to attend.  Trust me, there will be plenty more for Mother to drag me to.”

“My dad told me recently that he once had political aspirations.  He couldn’t stomach all of the ‘nonsense hobnobbing’, so he didn’t last long.”  She giggled.  “Can you imagine my father, the mayor?”

He smiled, thinking back to their lycée days. “No, I don’t think I can.  He’s far better suited to being a teacher.”

It got quiet again.  Nathanaël shifted his feet, which were starting to feel sore.  How far had she gotten? Would she maybe go for coffee with him after this? Coffee was casual.  Coffee was safe.  If she said no to coffee, he’d know not to ask her for an actual date.  He shifted again, drew a breath to speak, and blew it out silently.

Fuck.  Caring sucked.

He almost missed the days when he could just walk up to a girl and demand her attention, as he’d done with Adrienne for so long.  But no, that was a dick move and he didn’t want to be a dick.  It was a miracle that Adrienne was still willing to be friends with him.

Ok.  He could do this.  He could—

“Hey, um, Nathanaël?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m just about done with my initial sketch.  Would you maybe want to go for coffee?  With me?  Or—or lunch.  Because it’s noon, and people eat lunch at noon.  Or maybe not today, because you have things to do.  But maybe—”

“Hey, Goldie!”  He turned to face her fully, and leaned toward her with his signature smirk in place, the staff still slung across his shoulders.  “I’d love to get coffee with you.”

“Eeeep!”  She said, her wide eyes once again locked on his goods.

“Oh, fuck me,” he muttered, dropping the staff to cover himself with his hands, and wondering how many times he could humiliate himself in one day.

She blinked.  “M-maybe we should get that coffee first, yeah?”

[thelazyperfection-blog]

<strong>Ragnar Niagara 2018 Race Recap</strong>

My newest post has been published on http://thelazy.me/2018/06/18/ragnar-niagara-2018-race-recap/

Ragnar Niagara 2018 Race Recap

Another year, another Ragnar. Where to begin?! I could pretend that this will be a short post, but if you know me at all you know that that would be a lie! So, sit back, relax and enjoy the read!

The Week Before the Race

Exactly one week before Ragnar was to start I jumped off the couch and walked across the area rug toward the bathroom. Someone (cough, cough… Chloe) must’ve dropped an earring without realizing because I suddenly found myself hopping around the living room with an earring jammed into my foot. I pulled it out, wiped up the small amount of blood that dripped on the floor, disinfected my foot and applied a band-aid. No big deal, I thought.

I THOUGHT WRONG!

Saturday and Sunday I found myself limping a little and my foot seemed a bit swollen. Totally normal, I assumed. On Monday,  my foot was still hurting so I told my softball team I couldn’t play that night. I wanted to make sure I could run on Friday, so I thought I should take it easy.

On Tuesday, I walked to my cousin’s house to get my hair done and when it took me 29 minutes to limp 1.5km, I started to get worried about Ragnar. What if I couldn’t run? Why was my foot swollen on the top? All I did was step on an earring and it didn’t even hurt that much!

I made the decision to go to a walk-in clinic on Tuesday afternoon just to be safe and was promptly told my foot was infected. Armed with a prescription for antibiotics that I was to take every 6 hours and instructions to wrap my foot up when I ran, I was confident I would be okay.

I managed to get down two pills on Tuesday before I headed to bed. In my mind, I was going to wake up Wednesday morning fresh as a daisy with a regular size foot ready to run for hours. Instead, I was woken up at 3 AM by the serious pain radiating from my foot. I tried to get out of bed but discovered that I couldn’t put any weight on my leg. When I tried, my ankle would collapse and the pain was intense. I found myself crawling on my hands and knees to the bathroom. I managed to get my antibiotics and several pain pills down, but with the weight of Ragnar hanging over me, I also found myself crying on the bathroom floor. After a pretty decent pity party, I crawled my way back to bed where I stayed awake for the rest of the night wondering if I would really be able to run. At 3 AM, things definitely seemed more traumatic than was probably necessary!

The next day I was supposed to go with Anson to pick up our friend, Ron, at the Buffalo airport as he was flying in to run Ragnar with my team. I was really tired from being up almost all night and also worried about needing to walk around anywhere, so Anson headed out alone to get Ron and then spend the day in Toronto with him. You can see more about their time on Ron’s vlog below:

As Thursday morning rolled around, I felt a lot better physically although my foot still hurt and I was limping. Mentally, though, I felt determined. I was going to do my best and see what happened. I was 95% positive I could do it, so was just going to cling to that!

After a morning of dropping things at the hotel, running to the mall, and eating a quick lunch, Anson dropped Ron and me off at Maria’s where we headed to Reebok Headquarters after picking up Cathy and Carmy. Once we got to Reebok, the van decorating began!

*Special thanks to Gawck for the designing and printing of all the decals & to Reebok for the Booster Juice they provided for the decorating party. 

After a delicious pizza dinner, we headed through a crazy thunderstorm to our hotel in Bowmanville to settle in for the night. Since I was in van 2, I knew I didn’t need to rush in the morning which was a great feeling!

The four of us in our room all woke up around 7 AM on Friday and took our time getting ready for the day. We headed down for the complimentary breakfast and met up with the guys in our van. We ate breakfast, loaded up the van, hit Shoppers Drug Mart for some last minute things and then headed to the first major exchange to wait for van 1.

After we checked in and watched our safety video, we began the wait for Erik to come in from his 16.7km run so that Leanne, our van’s first runner, could head out. It was incredibly hot and humid and I was feeling bad for all the runners out there on such a long leg!

Leg 1: 5.6km at 2:30 PM

As van 1 finished their first legs and we started on our way, I started to get nervous but excited because I knew my next route like the back of my hand. It was less than 5km from my house and I had run parts of it more times than I could count. Luke was really helpful and wrapped my foot for me so I could have more stability for my run.

It wasn’t long before Leanne came in and I headed out, too fast as always. I remember looking at my watch and laughing at my pace before quickly slowing down.

It was hot out there and it didn’t take long before I found myself walking up a hill and then hearing a voice behind me saying, “Wow! I didn’t think I would have to walk this much!” Amy, from Midland, Ontario, and I ran and walked the rest of the way to the exchange and it was a nice distraction for me to have someone to chat with!

I finished the run on an uphill and handed off to Mei before drinking loads of water and blue Gatorade (which I have discovered that I love!). I was so glad that taping my foot combined with some adrenaline and stubbornness had given me what I needed to do my run. I knew I would have no issues with my next two legs.

After Mei finished her leg, Luke, Roy and then Ron rounded out our van before we passed the race back to van 1.

After a rather disappointing dinner at Pickle Barrel in Pickering (the waiter was truly terrible!!), we headed to the next major exchange at Exhibition Place to begin our night runs.

Leg 2: 8.9km at 11:45 PM

This run was my toughest one because I genuinely felt really tired. I am typically a night owl, but I think the heat of the day really took its toll on everyone. I wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and sleep instead of run, but obviously, that wasn’t going to happen!

As Leanne passed off to me I headed out by the water before turning onto Lakeshore in Toronto where I would spend the rest of my leg. It was well lit and still quite busy so I felt pretty safe which was nice. I passed a few runners and chatted with a lady from Kentucky before carrying on.

Even though it was so late out, I started to get hot. With a little over a kilometre to go, I came across a lady outside a restaurant holding some cups of water with ice. She offered me a drink or the use of the bathroom if I needed it. I took a quick drink and then surprised her by dumping the rest of the cup over my head. Her encouragement really pushed me to finish strong and gave me a little extra energy when I had been feeling just plain tired. I headed to my exchange point smiling and feeling like I could keep running!

I passed off to Mei who was wearing a tutu with lights in it and headed to the van to get my new favourite drink: blue Gatorade! The rest of the night passed like a bit of a blur as everyone finished running in our van. We passed off to van 1 sometime before 4 AM and headed to our next major exchange.

Bedtime?!

Around 5 AM, we all settled in to try to get some sleep in the van. I had learned some lessons from the year before and felt prepared! I chose the floor again as I’m short and can fit down there leaving more space on the seats for the tall guys who want to stretch out. I curled up in my giant red blanket, put my eye mask on, earplugs in and laid down on my bamboo pillow. (That’s me sleeping in the red blanket below!)

According to my Garmin, I was out for 2 hours and 8 minutes. When I woke up, I felt surprisingly rested and about a million times better than I did last year!

Leg 3: 5.6km at 9:55 AM

As everyone started to slowly wake up, I sent a text to Carmy in van 1 to see how they were doing with their runs. We learned that while we were sleeping, they had been out there running fast and had gotten us ahead of schedule. We sprang into action and quickly got ourselves to Starbucks to get some coffee and clean up a little before our last runs of the race!

As Leanne headed down with everyone else to get ready to start her last leg as van 1 came into the exchange, I opted to stay at the van to get myself a little more ready. Due to my dumping of water over my head during my night leg and then sleeping on my wet hair, I looked like somewhat of a train wreck. I got myself together as best as one can during Ragnar and mentally prepared myself for my last run!

My final run ended up being my best run in spite of getting stopped at multiple stop lights! I got to run by the water on a path and through some beautiful neighborhoods. I also got a text while I was running from my friend, Michelle, telling me that she had won her race that morning. When her message popped up on my watch I couldn’t help but grin and run a little faster!

I passed off to Mei rather vigorously but I think I finally got that bracelet on her arm for once! As she headed off down the road I realized that I was finished running and frankly, I was pretty glad!

The Finish

As our van continued closer to Niagara Falls, we hit all the exchange points before sending our final runner, Ron, off on his last leg. Ron had the most difficult leg of the entire race as he headed up the Niagara Escarpment and into the heart of Niagara Falls.

One of the coolest things that Ragnar does is that it encourages the team members to wait for their final runner and then run into the finish together. You can’t run this race alone, so why would you finish alone?

Ron came into the finish area smiling (I’m not sure he was ever NOT smiling during this race!) and we headed to the finish.

We passed out the medals, laughed, and took some pictures while reflecting on the race. 308 kilometres run together as a team is something to be proud of!

Final Thoughts

The days before the race I was unsure I would be able to run, but thanks to a lot of pain medication, some sports tape and a team that somehow put up with my complaining (I’m sorry!), I ran every step of my legs. To those who said that they would step in and run for me if I couldn’t– thank you. Your selflessness meant the world!

There is something so special and unique about running a Ragnar race. It is truly something every runner should experience for themselves as no amount of reading about it can accurately describe what it is really like!

Ragnar always encourages people to work together. Every single runner I saw while running my legs was kind. If someone passed me, they would ask if I was doing okay or tell me I was awesome for being out there. If another team was cheering for their runner on the side of the road– they cheered for me, too. These little things go a long way in making a race special and Ragnar runners seem to have that nailed down! Thank you!

I also want to extend a special thank you to Reebok Canada for sponsoring my team again this year. You went above and beyond in taking care of us all and we appreciate your support so much. Thank you also for the amazing gear that I know I will be wearing constantly for the coming months. You rock!

Of course, my biggest thank you goes to my team because without them, this never would’ve happened! I love you all!

* Be sure to watch Ron’s vlog about the beginning of our race: