#really gotta go now but hopefully i tagged everything lmfao

[jyndor]

“So did cassian find bix before he went on hugging another woman and die? BECAUSE DUDE THAT GIRL TORTURED OUTTA HER MIND (because of u) AND STILL TRUSTS YOU” - a very idiot comment someone made under a post of Jyn and Cassian pictures on Twitter. ISTG some people who joined the fandom after Andor don’t have a single working braincell like wtf dude

lol for as smart a show as andor is, I really wonder about some of its viewers 🤣🤣

first off, again I have to remind folks that rogue one was written first and by different people, so if you have a problem with something that happened in the show because it doesn't necessarily track with the film... just because YOU saw the film for the first time after the show doesn't mean the film is wrong for not having perfect continuity with the show.

we can use our brains and recognize that tony gilroy didn't like idk time travel to make cassian fall in love with the main character of the film instead of, what, apologizing to the character he created years after the film came out. it's one thing to criticize the writers of the show for putting bix through a more graphic trauma than almost any singular character in the show (save for cassian but I mean he's the titular character and we knew he was gonna go through shit) and doing it for the sake of a male character's story arc - a criticism of the writers, an out-of-universe analysis. it's another entirely to make an in-universe criticism of cassian for... well let's go through the chain of events:

cassian listens to his mother when she said to leave her behind because he is wanted for killing the mall cops (they don't know that the empire is looking for him bc he is a link to luthen)

he gets profiled and brutalized by the cops on his little vacation, thrown into a labor camp and is unable to go back for her like he said he would because again, he's in a CONCENTRATION CAMP.

maarva is unknowingly inspired by cassian's team on aldhani which is partly why she doesn't want to leave ferrix (it's her home, I can't fault her for that even though she is Not my fave) and decides to rebel by... idk not taking care of herself (actually some interesting commentary on how activists burn themselves out and don't take care of themselves but that's for another post).

because cassian respects maarva's wishes for him, he is not around to help take care of her - which we know other community members like bix have done before anyway

bix and brasso along with the daughters of ferrix etc are trying to get maarva to take care of herself, but maarva is getting ill because she's older and over-exerting herself for a non-existent rebellion - which hey again cool no problem, she's trying to fight the empire even though everyone else is complacent.

bix sees that maarva really needs help, knows that cassian is gone because in part SHE told him to fuck off, wants help from luthen so she can find cassian and uses the secret comms in the paaks' shop to reach luthen.

the imperials arrest salman, torture him and then arrest bix and torture her. salman is executed.

but this is missing a critical first point: the imperial occupation of ferrix. everything else is a response to the empire and to imperialism. everything: cassian kills the mall cops (tools of the empire) in episode one because they are xenophobic and profile him; they are an immediate threat to his life. that brings mr cereal over, who fucks up the "investigation" that no one wanted so badly it ends in a full blown imperial occupation. but the empire is already present in their use of the corporate mall cops to marginalize working class communities like ferrix.

the first violence is the occupation and the imperial machine (and im not even talking about the republic and the cis's colonialism but we can include them too because its all part of the problem). everything else is a reaction to an oppressor. kassa and the kenari kiddos go after the separatist ship and try to attack the people on board because they are the likely reason for the exploitation of their planet and the probable genocide of their people. cassian kills the cops because they threaten him due to their fragile egos and xenophobia. he has to leave ferrix and his mother because as maarva says, he can't stay and she can't leave (I guess although lol I mean she could). and so on.

actions don't just have consequences. actions have reactions. everything cassian does is a reaction to oppression- he tells jyn as much in rogue one ("everything I did, I did for the rebellion"). and for all of my critiques of the show, andor sticks to its thesis that rebellion can look like many things and that cassian does nothing but resist oppression his whole life.

to blame cassian for the empire torturing bix is such a shockingly bad read of the show because the show's very foundation is that the original act of violence is imperialism and fascism, and its victims are not to blame for their reactions to it, no matter how pragmatic or radical or violent.

cassian didn't get bix tortured. the empire tortured bix because it was trying to play divide and conquer with marginalized people, and it didn't work.

lol now I have to go to work but just a side note: I wouldn't trust anyone who has that kind of take on a fictional show about imperialism and fascism to stand with real world marginalized groups when they fight real world oppression.

[shinesurge]

I’ve been holding off on making this post because I wanted to try it out myself and get settled in and make sure everything went okay, but seeing as I’ve gone ahead and updated my site and everything I thought now might be a good time to start talking about this publicly! 

If you’ve known me for more than five minutes you know I fucking hate Webtoon, like, a lot. Every aspect of it disgusts me to the core of my being, and while Webtoon is the ugliest version of them the aspects that I hate also extend to basically any comic aggregate site. I hate that they treat artists like content robots, I hate that they treat comic readers like morons who aren’t capable of engaging with complex stories, I hate that they actively try to strip away all the cool parts of indie comics by cultivating sterile and impersonal environments that discourage artistic experimentation and unique expression.

So! I hope you’ll be interested in what I have to say about this new platform that’s (hopefully) going to be out of alpha this summer. If you think you like reading comics on Webtoon, I really encourage you to check out Dillyhub once it launches. That’s the short version, but I have a LOT to say about this! So I’m putting the rest of this under a cut.

Full disclosure, I’m not getting paid or anything for this. The creative outreach at Dillyhub contacted me a few weeks ago asking if I’d be interested in having Kidd Commander be one of their launch titles when they go live this summer. I was hesitant at first, since I actively distrust anything claiming to be For Creators at this point, but they answered my pushy questions patiently and everything seemed on the up and up so I gave it a shot; I’ve been needing a mobile mirror for KC anyway. Eventually they invited me to the alpha creator discord, where they’ve been working directly with all of us artists to improve the platform, and now to be honest I’m REALLY excited for this thing to get off the ground. Nobody asked me to make this post, but since I’ve spent years whining and bitching about how other services do wrong by their creators, I thought I’d talk about this one that’s doing things right.

So, the biggest advantage this site has for creators over others in my opinion is that it. Treats us like individuals, regardless of follower count lmfao. If you’re a new person just starting out with your new webcomic, here’s what webtoon does for you:

Note: you don’t get a custom banner, you don’t even get to choose the solid color it is. That big circle icon is ALSO the image that shows up in searches, but everywhere else on the site it’s a 100x100px square, so you have to choose whether you want it to look good as a giant circle at the top of your comic’s page OR whether you want to look good in search results. Which, by the way, is the ONLY way for people to find you if you’re not partnered. And that’s it! You have no monetization options, you won’t show up on the genre pages, and when someone DOES stumble across your page it looks super unprofessional. Good Luck! 

Now here’s my Dillyhub page(s):

You don’t get a static banner and one icon, you get a whole carousel banner with as many images as you want front and center as soon as you get to the project page. You get seven (custom!) genre tags, as opposed to Webtoon’s single tag you have to pick from their list, and plenty of room to talk about your work. The episodes are even laid out better, you get a MUCH bigger preview space to work with and they’re nice and big on the bottom half of the page:

you know, like they’re actually presenting ART lmfao.

That’s already an ENORMOUS improvement, but here’s my favorite thing.

o hm that’s a lot of super cushy settings I have for every individual episode, but what’s that, Episode Type?

LIKE.

listen, i know this is probably a bit specialized if you’re not a comic maker yourself, but this is a HUGE DEAL. You can post vertically OR page by page! You can even post pages two at a time for double page spreads, or so they read like a physical comic book! AND their specs are really open, as long as the file meets the size requirement you can make it whatever shape you want. You don’t have to reformat all your shit to post here!! I posted the entire first volume of KC STRAIGHT FROM THE PRINT FILES in like half an hour!!! The episodes can also be any amount of pages, you can post a single page or an entire chapter all in one go!

So that’s just the project page for the comic, let’s see what happens when I click on my username there.

Each author gets their own unique page (which you can tack a vanity url to!) to present themselves however they want! You always have the banner at the top, but beyond that you have a ton of options. Among other incredibly useful tools that really should just be bare fucking minimum at this point, like the ability to preview your page on different devices, you start customizing your blank page with this set of widgets,

and from THERE you can customize them MORE, you can promote your patreon or your kickstarter or whatever! Having this creator space ALSO means that if you run several comics, or if you want to promote your comic AND your illustrations, you can just separate them into individual projects! Each with their own page! This is also really nice as a reader because you can subscribe to a creator but you can also just subscribe to specific projects, if you don’t want to get ALL of their stuff in your inbox. It’s so good y’all hh.

Once again, all of this functionality is just THERE as soon as you make your account. You don’t need to be “partnered” or whatever the fuck, you don’t need to meet a certain follower threshold to unlock the ability to operate normally. You get your own creator space to present yourself how you prefer, you get pages for all your projects, you can even set up monetization options (and change them for individual pages IN a project) right from the start.

ok ok let’s compare this to my webtoon page

oh that’s right webtoon just puts your greyed out name at the bottom of each comic and that’s it because human beings don’t make this stuff, my bad lol anyway

Other fun shit that Dillyhub does that makes me feel like they’re people who have actually consumed or made comics on the internet at some point in their lives:

-When you log into the “studio” space, you’re in your creator account. When you log OUT of the studio space, it’s like you swap to a “reader” account, where you can access your pull list and comment on things with a different name and profile icon. Again, maybe only cool if you’re a creator, but if you ARE then you know exactly why this is incredibly useful lmao

-You can set up “hidden” projects, so if you only want certain things to be accessible by certain people or to not show up in searches that’s an option! You have SO much control here it’s great.

-The comment section has moderation options GODDD. You also have a real comment space, you know, so it actually encourages building a community (and a rapport with your community, if you like), and you also can just turn comments off entirely if you want! I haven’t used it much yet, obviously, but it’s been made very clear in the discord that artists want better control over their comment sections and the devs have it on their priority list.

-Absolutely every step of customization gives you a preview before it’s live, so you can easily see what these images you’re posting in different places are going to look like before you beam them to your followers’ inboxes. This includes individual episodes!

-This was sort of in one of the screenshots but it’s important so I’m saying it here too: the option to mark individual episodes as mature or with content warnings, rather than having to mark an entire comic as Mature Spooky Scary Content because of one or two pages getting a bit hairy.

This site is only in alpha right now, and it’s invite-only until they get to beta (for creators; anyone can make a reader account! but they haven’t set up a way to browse comics without direct links yet so) but honest to god it’s already blowing every other site I’ve used clean out of the water. And the staff has been really kind and responsive to us proposing fixes or changes! I will always defend individual websites as being the best option for an indie comic, but everybody’s gotta start somewhere and we NEED something that isn’t Tumblr or Webtoon to fill this role; this site feels a lot more like a symbiotic relationship than any of the other staples available for new creators right now. If you’re a comic reader and you want to see your favorite comics on Dillyhub I’d suggest keeping an eye on this site and once it’s live start poking them to look into it, and if you’re a creator follow their social media and hop in when they open up for anybody to join. I would LOVE to see this site take off as a viable option for hosting and reading comics.

Thanks for reading all this! I haven’t quite finished setting up yet, but if you want to poke around a project/creator page for yourself mine is here have at it. As things progress I’m sure I’ll have more to say, but since I’m usually so aggressively negative about places like this I just wanted to give some credit where it was due. fucking finally.

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Hello everyone and good morning! Wow, I am feeling the love in the inbox today. A sincere thank you to all of you for sharing your thoughts and support with me. I love you all and your messages never fail to make me smile 🥰

Also, Phoenix Epilogue should be out sometime soon. If you haven’t read that 4 part miniseries yet, I recommend getting a head start before my super fluffy 11k epilogue is dropped.

More details responses below 👇

1. This is a good question! So, I personally made a list of prompts that I was interested in writing, and asked people to tell me what they were interested in. Pretty quickly, I got about 3 requests back to back, followed by 2 unique ones. This was before I’d ever posted any writing, so they had no reason to know what I would produce, lol.

I find offering some ideas first gives people an idea what you are willing to write and does some of the work for them. But you can also just make a general post saying “Send me requests for ____!” and it should do it, too. The key is making sure you use the appropriate tags in the post so people actually see it. I hope this helps! If you really need a request, feel free to DM me and I’ll give you one of my original prompts that I’ll probably never be able to write 😊

2. Correct.

3. Awwwwe this is the nicest thing you can tell an author. I appreciate you. It was so fun to write, although I forgot how hard it is to write soft sex (lmfao).

4. Aaaaa I was SO worried about his characterization, so I’m super relieved people felt like I got it right. I’ve actually only ever watched the whole movie once, so I felt really uneasy about it. But my inner himbo lover delivered, I guess.

5. Yes! It’s not explained well on my Masterlist, but I’ve actually crammed 4 requests into one story, which I feel will be executed very well. It’s called “It’s Too Cliche” and it follows this exact plot! (It also incorporated a request about that gold necklace, so... prepare yourselves)

I really think it’ll be a great story. I don’t say that often, but it’s based on something that happened to me that should be made into a romance movie so, hopefully I can show you all exactly what it felt like.

6. Stop, I’m going to cry 🥺 I’m a SUPER extrovert, so all of my best friends are super introverted, and many of them are shy. I appreciate you guys so much and I would hate to miss out on your thoughts/ideas/comments just because someone else thinks I write too slow, lol.

I love you and I hope you have an awesome day 💕

7. Hahah thank you! I do really try. I love writing, but the only reason I’m able to do this right now is because I’m doing Bar Exam prep, so that’s my only “job” at the moment. As the test gets closer, I’ll be able to do less.

8. Now you know how I feel about Chip Taylor 24/7 😭 I will probably still write at least one more Chip fic, and possibly a couple super short fluff pieces (him meeting your parents or going to Disney World with you and your kids for the first time are just... so fucking hilarious to me). It’s nice to hear that people are interested, since I knew that it would be one of the lower performing pieces 😂

9. Ramble at me forever, Anon 🥺 (seriously, we’re all here for Spencer Reid, what makes you think I don’t want you to ramble? 😉) I do have a ton of fluff fics in my upcoming. I usually get on a fluffy kick where I write like 5 at once lmfao. Right now, I am unfortunately in a smut mood 😂 It also doesn’t help that all my oldest chronological requests are smut (and EXTREMELY plot intensive), and I do try to follow that pattern whenever I can.

10. Y’all gotta stop giving me a swelled head 🥴 Thank you so much, honestly, for everything you said. Every comment about my characterizations seriously, legitimately makes me cry. Without interesting characters, I can’t imagine anyone ever wanting to read anything (although some more popular books seem to prove me wrong). 

Also, I want you all to know that your interpretations of my characters and their motivations/personalities is EXTREMELY HELPFUL for me as an author. I like to hear as much about this as possible, because it helps me understand how my characters are interpreted.

PS I definitely laughed at the bloodhound comment as I wrote it. My beta also made a line note that said something similar to “Chip really learned that the hard way, huh?” lmfao.

Big thank you and I love you to everyone! Stay safe!

[thehotwingking]

Dragon Ball Super Episode 131

Talkin bout it (it’s my diary, I have no where else to write my deep and secretive thoughts on DBS)

First I'd like to say that I'm really happy this isn't the end. Even if Super isn't the best anime out there it is still fun watching the story grow and continue.

Second, shout out to 17 for saving the entire universe by wishing for all the universes to come back. We all basically saw the wish coming if U7 won, but Zeno basically saying that if 17 wished for anything selfish then he would have erased everything gave the wish more merit.

Okay, so this episode was really awesome. With Frieza going at it with Jiren to the awesome tag team work of 17 and Frieza. Frieza really hates all these guys, and he's a mad shit talker. He is so evil, man. It's ridiculous. Dude is ice cold. (intended) I still don't understand how 17 is that strong. I like 17, i really do. I just wish GOHAN had 17's role in this arc. Give us MOAR fan service PLEASE. At least I know Gohan won't go back to being weak. He'll still train some more, right? .... RIGHT?????

Goku coming back and teaming up with Frieza was incredible. Frieza really is the greatest villain in the entire series after this arc. Those two fighting together was crazy. Only thing crazier would be Vegeta and Frieza teaming up together. Goku and Frieza basically sacrificing themselves for the win was awesome. Jiren is unstoppable otherwise. They're lucky this wasn't a death match or Jiren probably would have won the entire thing. Dude is broken as fuck and OP. That's the main reason why i thought he could have won. He's way stronger than anyone else.

The ending was cool. Vegeta and Goku fighting where it all started, and with the same poses. Nostalgia hit hard. So awesome.

This is my favorite arc in the entire Super series. It was a spectacle to watch. Anyone hating this is weird. Sure, it may not be as deep as other animes and shit, but if you're a long time Dragon Ball fan and you're watching these last two episodes you're giddy as fuck. This was dope. Everything about it was cool.

I can't wait for the movie. Vegeta has his Super Saiyan Blue 2 and Goku has his Super Saiyan Blue Kaioken x 20 or whatever. Both will eventually master Ultra Instinct. Frieza is out here getting stronger. the Universe 6 Saiyans are going to get stronger. Hit still probably wants a rematch with Goku. Toppo and Jiren are still the biggest enemies. Gohan might keep training. It's all going to be cool. So many things that can happen, so many different directions. Gowasu out there happy. Champa out here reluctant to say thank you. Beerus probably HUNGRY and also HUNGRY TO BOX GOKU.

I.... GUESS... I should talk a little about Jiren since he is obviously the main villain of this arc. Man, I thought he was cool at first. Powerful guy and stuff. Cool! I thought it was incredible how he handled Super Saiyan Blue Kaioken Goku. Episode 115 or whatever was fun. I remember that shit. Then after a while... it became repetitive. Like, okay. We get it Jiren, we not fucking with you lmao. You on another level. IT'S OK WE GET IT. Big ass buff boy. So yeah, I wanted him to catch the fade. It didn't help that I didn't like his backstory, but after finishing this episode I get it.

He can't trust anyone. Or he refused to. People can't be trusted if you want to accomplish something. That's the way he sees shit. I get it. He trusted Toppo to beat Vegeta, and Toppo caught the L lmao loser ass boy. Them other pride troopers didn't do shit either. Can't trust them unreliable ass dude lmao. Jiren basically LeBron James in the NBA Finals. Gotta do all this shit by himself got fucking damn it. So, when he was fighting Goku, Frieza, and 17 at the end he realized the reason he lost is because they trusted each other. He doesn't know the backstory between Frieza and Goku, but it's kind of obvious Frieza is evil in universe 7. Still, the two trusted each other and by helping each other they beat Jiren.

And Jiren's conversation with Toppo at the end is enough character development for me. Enough for him the pass the character test. He's aight now.

Prediction: The Dragon Ball Super movie will be about them going to the beach universe 6 and fighting with the Saiyans and learning the origins of the saiyans. I remember hearing something about it having to do with the Saiyans and stuff, so this makes sense.  After that we may get a new series hopefully. I love the universe 6 saiyans so much. Caulifla punched the shit out of Cabba lmfao 

CAN'T WAIT. I probably missed talking about a bunch of stuff, but it's fine.

[survivor-tierradelfuego]

Ep. 5: “I only deal with things in my control” - Ben

James Hayden

Tribal went according to plan. Leanne was blindsided 5-3. Now to do damage control with Naj and Aimee. Hopefully we don't have to do this soon. Zack's constant paranoia before tribal is worrisome. 

Maddison

Pedro just blew up my game and I want him gone. 

James Hayden

Within minutes of tribal ending, Jay sends us a message saying that our next immunity challenge will start in a few minutes. What the hell??? I was not expecting that. It turns out to be a game of tag from hell. We instantly lost Sarah and Amy because they have sketchy internet connection at the moment. Although losing the challenge and going to tribal isn't the worst thing for my game, I accidentally goofed and was eliminated after two hours. It's now down to Zack, Ben, and Naj vs 5 (?) of their people. Zack tried to make a deal with them to end this, but no dice. If we do lose, Aimee probably goes home. I don't want to go to tribal again, so I'm once again praying to the Survivor ORG gods for a W.

Ryan

I was doing so well for the first few rounds, but it feels like I'm going on a downward spiral. I'm pretty sure I've still got numbers with Pedro, Amy, John and Maddison, but I'm scaaaaared

Olivia A

I’m very disappointed by the outcome of that challenge. I think if we kept going we definitely would’ve won. We shouldn’t have taken the deal but oh well I guess. I am incredibly exhausted and almost cried when the randomizer showed that they won. I’m going to sleep!!

John B

Well that challenge turned into a major bummer, but hey, hindsight is 20/20 I guess. Now we have to figure out who to vote and if I had to guess it’s gonna be Ryan or Alan. I hope my alliance can get things together. With Alan having the idol we may need to split votes and Idk who we’d split with. Honestly at this point as long as it’s not me I could care less. Xoxo Gossip John 😘

Kalle N

Pedro exposing alliances that I'm not a part of... OOF. Honestly I don't even care who we vote out at this point. I am getting sick of no one on this tribe being able to make a decision or say a name and if i get voted out i will be relieved. I just want this to end

Ryan

feeling very Sandra right now. “Anybody but me”. 

James Hayden

After more than four hours, WE WON THE TAG CHALLENGE FROM HELL!!! We were only down to Zack and Ben, but we won!! The other tribe agreed to do a randomizer and had a 75% chance of winning, but the Survivor ORG gods favored us and we got the W. After the challenge, Jay said to be online after tribal. This leads us to think a swap is happening. I'm just hoping that the odds are in my favor and end up with some variation of the 5. Ideally, the my new tribe would be me, Sarah, Ben, and two people from the other tribe. As long as my new tribe isn't myself with Aimee/Naj and three new people, I should be ok.

Ryan

I’m getting really close to John, I feel like we’re starting to really control some decisions. Maddison is still my #1 though

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2sp7C2PJIE&feature=youtu.be

Zack M

what can i say right now? i'm not happy. we won the immunity challenge but not because we deserved it. i'm so irritated with the majority of my tribe at the moment. again, i understand that real life is going on around us and the majority don't have the luxury of just sitting around on our computers all day. BUT LIKE CAN WE JUST TRY IT ONE NIGHT?! just once. the challenge was tag. endurance. we have to be ready to go every 5 minutes. did i plan on spending my saturday night like this. absolutely not. was i there until the very end? absolutely. we started out with cody, james, najwah, ben, and i. we were immediately down by 2 because sarah and aimee weren't available. after about an hour john from the other tribe and i were chosen to meet to try to reach a deal to end this challenge early. i got nothing from john even through i tried to be cute and mention that he beat me in the flag challenge. whatever. we continue. during this continuation the host left to shave her head. cute haircut, wrong timing. can you imagine jeff being like "brb guys, do this challenge without me because i need a trim real quick." like what? especially during a game where it comes down to SECONDS. like if you can't be there go ahead and tap in someone else. when she returned she asked if anything had happened ... the rules clearly stated that we were NOT ALLOWED to talk in the game chat ... john on the other side said "nope" .... the rest of us said nothing because again, let me repeat for the people in the back, the rules clearly stated that we were NOT ALLOWED to talk in the game chat. if their 6 (minus john) and our 4 at the time understood, why did he not? also, why did he not get punished for it? THEN we decided to make it harder where we were speeding it up a little to try and get through it tonight. again, let me repeat that, all we did was speed it up. from what i understood we had to "tag" someone at the beginning of the minute. we were not able to wait until the last second ... otherwise why would everyone have not been doing that the entire game? it would have obviously been the go to move. grae, from the other tribe, tagged najwah right before the cut off. she was literally typing as the round ended. it was clearly unfair but again overlooked and we were down another player. i know we are human and the host can't be everywhere at once and at the time ben and kalle from the other team were trying to come to some sort of deal to end the game BUT the game should have been the main focus. on top of letting it slide, my multiple comments of how it was unfair were not correctly addressed. in no way was i trying to get an upper hand for our team. it was clear at that moment we were going to lose and as i've mentioned in multiple confessions i would rather be at tribal than not because i don't know what everyone else is doing. i just love rules. i'm very type a. i pay attention to everything. i didn't think it was cool. nothing can change my mind. it wasn't cool. period. but let's take a moment to sit back and lay in that good karma. i'm a firm believer that good things come to those who deserve it and we did because we had two disadvantages happen to us in the game. in the end, we went to some website ... idk ... and did some random shit. their 5 names and our 2 were put in a list. they picked the number 3 so the host hit randomize or something 3 times and i picked the number 4 because that's my god number and BOOM!!!! ben's name was number 4 so we won. WONT HE DO IT. YES HE WILL. believe in him and give thanks because we won. i thought i was on mute but i wasn't and i clapped. the other team probably hates me and like i'm guessing we are going to expand to 3 groups of 5 tomorrow but i don't even care. if i'm going to lose and be voted out i want it to be right. our team did not deserve to be at tribal tomorrow and guess what .. we won't be. i'm praying i end up on a team with the majority of my alliance or at least my tribe but honestly we will probably lose if we do. i just want a team that wins so i can make it to the merge. that's all i'm focused on right now. the rest can come later. in conclusion, i don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. i don't really care. i'm ready to play survivor. ... oh yeah, and leanne went home at tribal tonight but honestly that feels so long ago and i don't really have anything to say about that except i love you leanne and it wasn't personal. the message to the wrong group killed your game. human error. *mic drop*

Najwah

I am honestly shocked by that tribal. There are no words. I KNEW it wouldn't be straightforward. I knew some blindside would go down coz nothing made sense. However, I really didn't expect them to vote out Leanne haha. I thought it would be me for sure. As I told Cody, everyone are such bad actors. There were so many things that didn't add up and they created a group with "A plan" but no one had a plan and everyone was saying the same thing? Also Sarah was way too comfortable. And she supposedly hasn't spoken to anyone? Haha they're terrible liars. Like at least make something better up. And the jewelery box!! WHERE IS THE JEWELERY BOX? Leanne never had it. Someone else is playing really hard. It's defs one of the boys. I bet. I never trusted Ben and James. 

Najwah

I gave my all in that game. It was already 6am when I got eliminated (quite unfairly, might I add) but I could have gone on all night because there was no way I wanted to go to tribal council again. Especially now that I'm on the outs and don't really know who to trust anymore. I don't trust anyone. Cody called me after tribal but idk, I feel very disappointed because I at least thought HE had my back but I understood, I was close with Leanne and I was the one she was messaging in the group. As much as Leanne made a mistake. I made a mistake by replying. I basically dug my own grave by doing that. I bet they would have never known about my alliance with L had I not replied. Jokes on them because she had a fake idol and lmao SOMEONE ELSE STILL HAS THE JEWELRY BOX. Anyway, I think Sarah is going to win this whole thing. I'd love that. I'm backing Sarah all the way. Love how she plays this game. Low key and she has power. I'm Team Sarah Haywood. 

Grae g

Looks like the girl wanna get pedro out while the John+pedro majority are telling people alan. It seems like absolutely everyone on the tribe is following what they say and that’s gotta go. Plus Pedro showing his own alliances to everyone via screenshot last night didn’t help LMFAO

Olivia A

I’m super excited about this vote because it’ll officially set a divide of alliances in this tribe (in which i will be on the majority). I feel bad about blindsiding John with this vote but Pedro posting that screenshot and showing multiple people in my alliance (including myself!) talking to him is something I can’t let be used against us. So he’s gotta go!!

John B

I think tonight’s vote is coming together. I feel bad but I think it’s going to be Alan. My biggest worry at this point is me or someone I’m close with getting idoled out. Hopefully I can talk to Alan and push them to vote for someone who’s not me lol. Honestly voting people out makes me feel super bad, especially since I kind of spearheaded this vote (I don’t think anyone realizes that though) I just hope this plan can go smoothly and we can get rid of the idol all together. ALSO I put 8 wishes on the wishing tree lol, I’m not sure if that does anything, but if it does I’ll be set lol, I probably don’t need those coins anyway 👀👀 Fingers crossed I don’t get blindsided or idoled out y’all! 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

Alan B

Omg this tribal is gonna be intense, from what it sounds like john is trying to take me out by buddying up with everyone, but it seems like everyone else is trying to back me up, hopefully this will go well but im STRESSED

Kalle N

The game just got a whole lot more exciting. I'm playing double agent by convincing John that we're voting off Alan, when in reality we're going for John's closest ally: Pedro. I don't think either of them will see it coming and I'm very excited for tribal.

Aimee

https://media.tumblr.com/6e98e0f1a1116e0d7faf5e9f51b29ab6/fe59555738f2307b-bf/s540x810/955cfcc9683d192965fc7e708613b934de5531fc.gifv Bye Leanne! I know you were selling me down the river to Amy T. Odd thing is, I didn’t even vote for you. I hope we flushed out an idol. I just don’t get how Sarah is playing what seems like a ghost game and is more “in the know” than I am. How many times can people tell me “oh sorry we couldn’t tell you the vote because we thought you were close with ——“ and expect me to just take that? Why am I not allowed to talk to other people or be close with others but you are? How is it a 5-3 vote but Najwah claims to be left out of the vote. Uh Leanne didn’t vote for herself, and if it was me and Ben that means Najwah voted Leanne. Do they really think I just don’t talk to people and compare notes? I know who everyone is with. I only trust Ben at this point. And if I make it to merge or judge it’s team Ben or Maola. I think there is a small alliance since day 1 that I am not in. I just didn’t even look that hard for an idol today. I was just too distracted by the calm of the flowers. https://jrchair98.tumblr.com/post/184827414479/ゼニガメ-0007-01-11-frames-based-on-gif-from I hope this game gets better for me, because I am just emotionally drained. This is a marathon and I feel like people are lying to me and I’m gonna get backstabbed in a more direct way. Don’t worry fans, I am strong but I needed this camping break to get my head on properly and I am so relieved I won immunity. It’s time to get to work.

Pedro A

OMG THIS ALL TRIBAL IS A MESS

Amy A

Urgh so today is a complete mess! This feels more survivor for me than all the previous tribal councils. The vote has been flipping all day and it can be anyone at any time. I have a new alliance and I think I was able to steer the vote away from Pedro so I stay solid w the outsiders alliance but I know they’ll come for me if they know I’m now in a tight alliance w all the girls and gender non-binary. New alliance is voting for John and I don’t think I made it very obvious I have a sorta alliance w Pedro cos he was the alternate vote. I heard my name somewhere so that freak out is there and a little part of me is scared but all in all I’m a very little confident about tonight 

Amy A

I found an advantage!!!! I get to steal a vote!!! Omg I thought the option I chose was gonna get me a disadvantage for the tribe but I ended up getting an advantage 🥳🥳🥳🥳. I cannot wait to play this strategically to save my behind in a tribal council. I have decided to keep the news to myself for now but I’ll share it with (probably) Maddison soon. I’m really close w her and we have a strong bond. 

Maddison

John just told me that he thinks of me as his number one and I am five hours away from attempting to blindside him. Sorry buddy, you gotta go. Alan B Lol looks like i'm dead in the water tonight if i don't use my idol, i was the only one who didn't help last night bc i didn't understand that it would just end before i woke up today ... HoLy ShIt 6 ppl are saying they're gonna blindside Pedro to keep me alive :O If pedro votes for me ima flip my shit ... Gosh i have no idea if i should use my idol tonight, because it sounds like the tribe is fighting about whether or not i should be allowed to stay. If i can make it past tonight without my idol, it could get me even farther, but i might not last longer than tonight if i don't ... i'd really rather vote john out then pedro, but it might be safer in the long run to eliminate the person that knows i have an idol...maybe i can get pedro to switch his vote to redeem himself and keep a partner alive for a little longer. Although since he's in a group called "core four" he might have already told them ... The tribe has officially split lmao, looks like we're voting john tonight if i can trust the people who are saying they'll back me up ... Ugh my heart is telling me to try and rebuild my alliance with pedro and try to get him on my side but my brain is telling me his other alliance is clearly stronger so i have to stop trusting him. Either way super sad that pedro betrayed me, apparently he told people about the idol, looks like he'll be next on the chopping block ... even though im in a group with a majority of the tribe i still feel like they're secretly gonna vote me out anyway, that would be a damn good way to get rid of my idol since it sounds like everyone has gotten wind of it. honestly id just be impressed but if things work out for me tonight and i still have my idol i think thats the best shot ive got at getting farther ... im gonna not play my idol tonight and trust the majority of the tribe, if it bites me then so be it, they played their asses off to get rid of me if thats the case, like if they were gonna get rid of me they would have just followed johns plan right? Aimeehttps://media.tumblr.com/6e98e0f1a1116e0d7faf5e9f51b29ab6/fe59555738f2307b-bf/s540x810/955cfcc9683d192965fc7e708613b934de5531fc.gifv Bye Leanne! I know you were selling me down the river to Amy T. Odd thing is, I didn’t even vote for you. I hope we flushed out an idol. I just don’t get how Sarah is playing what seems like a ghost game and is more “in the know” than I am. How many times can people tell me “oh sorry we couldn’t tell you the vote because we thought you were close with ——“ and expect me to just take that? Why am I not allowed to talk to other people or be close with others but you are? How is it a 5-3 vote but Najwah claims to be left out of the vote. Uh Leanne didn’t vote for herself, and if it was me and Ben that means Najwah voted Leanne. Do they really think I just don’t talk to people and compare notes? I know who everyone is with. I only trust Ben at this point. And if I make it to merge or judge it’s team Ben or Maola. I think there is a small alliance since day 1 that I am not in. I just didn’t even look that hard for an idol today. I was just too distracted by the calm of the flowers. https://jrchair98.tumblr.com/post/184827414479/ゼニガメ-0007-01-11-frames-based-on-gif-from I hope this game gets better for me, because I am just emotionally drained. This is a marathon and I feel like people are lying to me and I’m gonna get backstabbed in a more direct way. Don’t worry fans, I am strong but I needed this camping break to get my head on properly and I am so relieved I won immunity. It’s time to get to work.

Maddison

Tonight’s vote will draw a line in the sand for the tribe, and hopefully solidify a majority alliance. I do wish Pedro was going home, but I’m not going to push hard for it this early. As long as someone not in my alliance gets their torch snuffed, I’m happy.

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EDaQS-hPPQ&feature=youtu.be

Sarah

I wish I was better at confessionals and didn’t always leave a brick. That will be my goal for the week. OKAY. So tribal went as planned last night with our strong group of 5 (Jess) voting out Leanne. I trusted my group and I‘m glad I didn’t need to play my idol last night (and I love that it’s still a secret except for Cody knowing about it). After tribal, people thought Leanne may have had the idol and that now it was back in the hunt. Turns out, Leanne DID have a fake idol, whatever that means. Moving into a tribe swap, I do feel pretty good about going into one with most people on our tribe. I feel good about anyone in our group of five. I do worry though that with how spontaneous Zack is he may want to make a big move and flip on our tribe. Apparently Naj thinks I am a threat and thinks I will win so I do have to watch out for her but I do genuinely want to work with her. She doesn’t seem to know about Cody and I but she did expose her and Cody’s connection (which I obviously knew about) so she is quick to expose people! I am not as close with Aimee so she may flip too but thank god I have the idol just in case I get in a unpredictable tribe swap situation. So excited to get to know more people and I feel like this game has kicked it up a notch. Ready for a tribe swap! And hoping there are some cracks in the other tribe. 

John B

I’m terrified it’s going to be me tonight. Alan caught wind of the plan I think and told Pedro they were going to play their idol. Now we are splitting the vote so Pedro and I will vote Ryan and everyone else is voting Alan. I really hope people aren’t lying to me, if they are it’s definitely going to be me tonight and I’m going to cry. I’m literally so stressed.

Aimee

Uh, oops. So I got a little too drunk in the woods this weekend to even read these messages properly. Ben voted Leanne last minute and couldn’t tell me in time because I didn’t have phone service. Najwah I’m sorry I doubted you for even a second.

Ben Kessler

Hello it's me Ben. I am very scared about a swap but I know if I get put with my own people, I got this. Hopefully I don't get swap screwed, Aimee trusts me, and I can work my magic with the other tribe. Swaps are out of my control and I only deal with things in my control. Unless there's no swap? Who knows

James Hayden

30 minutes before we need to be online for something game related, Jay tells us to pick a leader. Zack volunteers instantly which is fine with me. It keeps the target of my back and puts a bigger target on his. I think this is a school yard pick for new tribes and hopefully he can keep us #jessstrong #JESSPRESERVATION

Ryan L

essgo babyyyyy hopefully not getting kicked out

[honeyedmilks]

the longest gtk me tag to ever exist 🍰

i was tagged by the lovely @meanyoongis (thank YOU!! <3) for this extravagant tag! she is so long, even without my rambling, that under a cut she must rest!

the last…

drink: water! please stay hydrated this summer my friends!  time you cried: literally at 5 am at some point early in the week

phone call: my mum

text message: it’s literally me messaging rezka this: “did u just tell me to find a sugar daddy?” we were discussing my shitty laptop and a peach phone cover i wanted to buy- don’t ask anymore questions about this please lmfao.

song you listened to: don’t stop by shinee :’( (i’m going to report choi minho for his rap in this as well as my love jonghyun for his vocals that nearly killed me)

 have you…

dated someone twice: but… i’ve not.. even dated someone.. once… 

kissed someone and regretted it: nope! 

been cheated on: nope!

lost someone special: not in terms of them passing away but i have lost many friends and relationships i still remember; i feel their loss sometimes

been depressed: dfhhdjd i be livin’ that mental illness life right now hskjxk

gotten drunk and thrown up: no, but during my very bad times, i thought about doing just that, a lot. 

list three favourite colours…

omg okay: browns, pinks, blues 

in the last year have you…

made new friends: yes! i love them!! shout out to my cute tumblr friends :’))) 

fallen out of love: hmm… i would say so… THANK GOD 

laughed until you cried: i wish lmfao but rezka and allie have made me laugh loads :’)) 

found out someone was talking about you: hmm yes, but it’s ok :(( 

met someone who changed you: i know some people now who have given me sound advice that i try to remember, but other than that i don’t think so

found out who your friends are: yes :(( though i would like to think the ones who didn’t check up on me had their reasons 

kissed someone on your facebook list: i’m literally the most un-sensual person ever?? can u tell?? no action up in dis bitch y’all!

general…

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i should’ve mentioned before that i’m not even on that… place… imagine having all my asian family members tryna peep me on ‘the facebooks’ as my dad calls it… a living nightmare… also it just looks far too complicated to use and not worth the energy getting used to it, i love the memes that i see from facebook here though lmfaoo they’re lit

do you have any pets: no! :(( i used to have a bunny called bubbles but he is no longer with us :(( rest in peace bubbles :(( but our family wants a new pet! hopefully we’ll get a cat or another rabbit when my littlest brother is a bit older! i’m so lonely… i want a dog.. my family is so incomplete… so cold…so devoid… I JUST WANT AN ANIMAL FRIEND!!! but i would also have to get over my weird fear of all living things, and the pain that comes with having them such as scratches etc 

do you want to change your name: actually no, i’m okay with my name right now :’) though i feel like i have two depending on how people pronounce it! its more commonly pronounced as sof-ee-a but it’s actually soft, like sof-ya! also here’s a fact! my name’s already been changed :D when i was younger i was actually named bariah (pronounced br-ee-ya) but it was changed because my parents and stuff thought it was causing me lots of bad luck… i also somehow got picked on in primary school for having my name changed?? people eventually ended up saying i had changed my name like three times (the real case is that white people fucked up how to pronounce bariah and when my mum corrected them, they all flipped shit lmfao ah my head hurts thinking about this- it got worse after it went from bariah to sofia)                               

what did you do for your last birthday: it was so miserable this was the worst year to ask me this question, lmfao i’ll try not to give you any miserable details but i ended up buying myself cake and trying not to make it my departing date too

what time did you wake up: near 1pm i think! 

what were you doing at midnight last night: i think i was either watching the princess’ man or making my posters for it! 

name something you can’t wait for: honestly don’t know lmfao i want to go to the beach though so here’s hoping i finally do that, or go swimming 

when was the last time you saw your mom: like an hour ago, she’s making dinner i think… i can smell it… all the way from my depression hole (bedroom)

what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: so much? but mostly i would like my dad to get better and my mum to not have to do everything :(( and then go on more holidays and live life more :(( also mental illness be gone!!

what are you listening right now: fuckin artificial love by exo dropped on ma shuffle, i’m getting terrible flashbacks to the cane dance  

have you ever talked to a person named tom: aye i know a guy called tom, he got a part of his tooth chipped (It was a whole big wild thing and i don’t know the details but that’s all i remember of the dude) and he was in my english class once, but like, we don’t talk no more… i don’t even know if i’ve seen him around school when i used to go… 

something that is getting on your nerves: lots of things… my potato laptop… myself… no one in my gotdang family listening to me!!! the fact that it’s been two weeks and i still don’t have delicious cake… also the fact i end up hating everything i make on here- thank you guys for being so lovely in your tags tho :’(( 

most visited website: tbh tumblr, pinterest, pixlr and dramanice

about me…

mole/s: i don’t think i have any? maybe some small dark dots here and there on my legs and neck

mark/s: i have some burn scars and a bit of a scar thing on my elbow where i scraped it really badly as a kid, i also have stretch marks on my waist/hips etc and a blotchy mark in my inner left thigh

childhood dream: i think i was set on being an interior designer at one point? lmfao or a celebrity chef (i watched a lot of food network as a kid) 

hair colour: black

long or short hair: very very long, but i want to get it cut soon so it’s a bit shorter. 

do you have a crush on someone: i mean there’s this one boy in real life… but i don’t see him that much right now :(( i don’t think it’s full on infatuation though… but y’all also know i love jonghyun and changkyun 

what do you like about yourself: AKDNSKJDKJADDJ i broke out the caps for this!!! lemme think… i guess my eyebrows can be rather nice! and i can be funny sometimes i guess lmao… i like how i can be empathetic with people, though it’s not at all always fun being so sensitive

piercings: i have my ears pierced! just one in each lobe :) 

blood type: you trippin if you thought i would know this LMFAO 

nickname: binch i gots so many oh my god… my family, such as my aunt, call me brian (derived from my old name bariah- thank god i told you guys about that otherwise none of you would know why my nickname was fucking BRIAN), some people call me sofie/ sophie, and my mum calls my sofie pofie sometimes- my dad calls me sofar (so-fur) in the most desi way possible- he once accidentally called me sofa and it just stuck, it also explains my instagram user name (sofarsoogood) lmfao its a cute pun and i don’t know if this is a nickname but i get adressed as baji/baj by my younger brothers and sisters and cousins- its like the desi term for older sister 

relationship status: your local potato head (that’s me) is on her lonesome… she single as hell bitch!

zodiac: aquarius (i’m sure i spelt that wrong, rezka once dragged me for spelling it as some other dumb shit before BUT OH WELL) 

pronouns: she/her!

favourite tv show (s): i don’t even know, parks and recreation is a good one though :’)) oooh and I LOVE CRIMINAL MINDS though i’ve not seen much of the new season :(( oh and an idiot abroad is fucking funny bye i need to rewatch that ooh also lots of cooking shows and the jane eyre bbc (2006) mini series 

tattoos: no, but i would like to get some more henna done this year :’D

right or left hand: right!

surgery: i don’t think so? but i did get some teeth taken out when i was younger so i don’t know if that counts lmfao 

hair dyed in different colour: no, but it would be nice to get it done one day!! i’ve been thinking about it… but i don’t know what colour would suit me and my mum doesn’t want me to lmfao 

sport: i like cycling (its been ages tho) and i like badminton, yoga and i really want to go swimming :(( but i don’t do any of that anymore. the most i do is long walking 

vacation: i’ve been to pakistan, england, stopped in dubai for a while, italy, france, turkey and egypt! it was all so long ago though! and i would like to go to so many more places!

pair of trainers: i have converse! though i much prefer sandals over converse

more general…

eating: these days i’m very into chips and cheese plus donner (don’t knock it till ya try it!) and my mum’s roti salan lmfao 

drinking: hmm water! or icy drinks! iced tea is fabulous but i also gotta start drinking green tea again! i miss her 

i’m about to: pass out from trying to answer all of these LMFAO JOKES i might get something to eat.. such as ice cream… or actual dinner… and then maybe watch more of the princess’ man or make some stuff! but who knows i might just fall asleep lmfao 

waiting for: a new laptop, my mental health TO GET BETTER SDHKSHKSDH and for just… i dunno what the heck i’m doing, i’m just winging my life right now and for my dad to get better so he can go on trains and buses with me so i can get used to them  

want: new bath bombs and clothes, my writing passion back, hugs, affection, allie to reunite with her chicken hat one day

get married: i most likely will when i’m older! though i’ve been told i’m already in a relationship with jp and bevy maco 

career: HONESTLY DON’T KNOW!!!!!! but if i filter all my shit out then i can say, i want to get into film, defos want to be a published writer, maybe go into graphic design… who knows tbh maybe counselling? 

which is better…

hugs or kisses: it depends on what kind of kiss/ where it is, but i often get in moods where i just need to be held :’(( so both i guess!

lips or eyes: both :’) but eyes over lips i guess unless we’re talking smiles :’) 

short or tall: i guess tall but if i’m in love it might not really matter              

older or younger: hmm, i would say the same age as me or a little older, but it really depends on the mentality of the person :) 

nice arms or nice stomach: arms are nice :’) 

sensitive or loud: hmm i don’t know… probably loud, just not obnoxious or annoying

hook up or relationship: relationship :’) 

troublemaker or hesitant: hmm i don’t know! the boys i’ve liked have ended up being some troublemakers, but i guess it depends on what kind of trouble! 

have you ever…

kissed a stranger: nope!

drank hard liquor: never 

lost glasses/contact lenses: i don’t wear glasses or contact lenses but i have lost some sunglasses on holiday lmfao, it doesn’t even have to be a day before i lose something on holiday, or leave it behind

turned someone down: hmm i don’t think so! though one boy did try give me a valentine on valentine’s day but i was really having a terrible day and i didn’t take it from him, the encounter was a mess and i don’t know why he was tryna give it to me in the first place? i think he was just tryna get rid of it?? i don’t trust boys if they do stuff like that/ try ask me out tbh lmfao for many reasons

sex on the first date: oh no not my shy ass lmfao

broken someone’s heart: i don’t know :( most likely not! though there was one person i think i did hurt and let down  

had your heart broken: i’m not sure in the romantic sense, but i know it’s felt a lot 

been arrested: nope! i’m an angel ;)) LMFAO 

cried when someone died: hmm i can’t remember, i think i cried seeing my mum so upset when her mother passed away, i also have shed tears over michael jackson (i used to be a very heavy mj blog back in the day lmfao shout out to my mj mutuals who stuck around) 

fallen for a friend: i don’t think it was genuine, so i’m going to say no 

do you believe in…

yourself: pfff depends really, there are times when i don’t feel an overwhelming sense of insecurity and there are times i do                    

miracles: i guess so :)

love at first sight: i think you can be attracted to someone when you first see them or have a liking to them but real love is such a complex thing that i don’t really believe one can fall in love at first sight

santa claus: kjdcnjdcnjd who dat i only know dat cool guy in narnia who gave dem kids of old their death devices

kiss on the first date: hmm… depends… but in reality… probably no

angels: yes  

other…

current best friends name: rezka, allie, mhairi, (a mix of tumbly friends and irl) im such a loser bye but i love y’all, i honestly don’t talk to a lot of people these days :(( 

eye colour: so dark they look black and you can’t see my pupils sometimes

favourite movie(s): hmm… sabrina (1954), the mummy one and two, peter pan (2003), pride and prejudice (2005) and spy! i have lots more i’m so fond of!  

phew! time to tag some lovely people! : @youngjei , @allonsy-allie , @dansphil , @seokjinings , @junyeol-s , @bovrilcat , @alcenos , @astraelogy , @mahnoorjahan , @timrggins and @bonqhee! 💗