#really feel like this is the core of armands identity issues even more than the memory loss and the name changes and such

[armandposting]

the thing is I don't think armand wants to or could let go of his self image as a man even when he was still a teenager. because if he was a child that means all the things that happened to him were done to a child. ans those aren't things you do to children. even everything marius does, which armand still sees as love, wouldn't really be love if it was done to a child. so like. he has to be a man or all of that was too real and he didn't choose any of it. but also no one will take him as one, not even marius. so what even is he then. you know??