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demonslayerunhinged · 3 months ago

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*cw: this theory deals with child sexual abuse and has mentions of suicidal ideation and eating disorders.

*If you or anyone you know is going through this, you can find resources here, here and here as well as a list of international hotlines.

Obanai is probably the second most hated character in the fandom, and just like Sanemi, he’s one of the most misunderstood. I think the hate he gets from the fandom is unwarranted; he’s accused of being a dick, a horrible person, a simp and a character who only exists to be Mitsuri’s love interest. All of which is unfair, sure he’s prickly and unapproachable, but he’s not as bad as the fandom makes him out to be.

So, in my quest to draft a defense for our favorite snek boy, I reread his backstory and in doing so, I realized something sad

Unhinged theory

Obanai is a sexual abuse survivor

Let me explain:

Obanai’s backstory and aspects of his character mirrors that of someone who’s been through sexual trauma. The evidence I'm going to present is a combination of my own knowledge about these matters and information I got from forums and websites for male survivors of sexual abuse. So let's examine them...um spoilers

The snake demon

I believe that the snake demon is a metaphor for a sexual predator. Her inclusion in the family could also be a metaphor for how these predators insert themselves into family units-or most of the time are family members themselves-and abuse the children for years and even generations. Obanai's relatives sacrificing their babies to her could signify the real life actions of families who are unaware or, turn a blind eye to, or sometimes actively participate in the abuse of their children.

The sacrifice in exchange for wealth speaks of how families in real life ignore the abuse of their children to maintain the wealth and status they obtain from being related to and associated with the abuser.

Even her decision to wait, ordering the cutting of his mouth so he would look like her, could be interpreted as her 'grooming' him in a sense.

Even her design has a certain sexual, predatory aspect to it that's different from the other demons.

His relatives

Obanai describes his family members as being 'disgustingly' affectionate and bringing him lots of 'greasy' food that made him sick. Food in media is often used to depict love, affection, connection and sex, and Demon Slayer is no different.

There are plenty of instances where food and the giving of food has been used to denote friendship (Tanjiro giving Zenitsu, Inosuke and Genya meals in an attempt to bond with them), connection (Giyuu wanting to give Sanemi ohagi), love (Tanjiro's love of cooking and the satisfaction he shows when his meals are enjoyed by others) and pleasure (Mitsuri's large appetite). I'll make a post about this later.

With this context, we can interpret their bringing of rich foods, their overbearing attention and affections as them objectifying and even being sexually inappropriate with him.

The sexual abuse

Non-physical.

The first instance of abuse is non-physical, but that doesn't make it any less important. Being constantly visited by the snake demon in his room at night, Obanai described his feelings of terror, being paralyzed and watched. His body would break out in a sweat, and he would be unable to fall asleep.

His descriptions of the experience and his body's reaction to it reminded me of some survivors' stories I read, where they talked about how in the initial stages of the abuse or when the abuser was first introduced into their lives, their abuser would give them unwanted attention, would stare at them in a way that felt creepy, gross and wrong.

Some had their abusers come in to their rooms, maybe under the guise of 'checking in on them'. They described feeling terrified, freezing up with the hopes that the attacker would leave. Some would take measures such as sleeping with the door locked or with a heavy object against it, sleeping with a sibling or parent, sleeping in a hiding spot that the attacker knows nothing about or not sleeping at all.

Physical.

The specific age that the snake demon plans to 'eat' Obanai is never stated, but from what we've seen so far and in the sexual context, we can assume that she's waiting until he hits puberty. Some studies state that the average age of victims of female sex offenders usually falls around 14 years, but there are cases where the female predator waited until their victim reached sexual maturity before they carried out their abuse, like in the case of Mary Kay Letourneau. Here's a video that breaks down an interview she did before her death.

Obanai was 12 when he was dragged out of his cell to be subjected to what I believe is the first physical abuse. He had his mouth slit from ear to ear, with the blood collected and fed to her. The snake demon decided to have him live a little longer, which again, fits into my theory of her wanting to wait until he reached puberty.

Bodily violation, violence and blood are common allegories for sexual assault used in media and in Obanai's backstory we see it being used when his relatives drag him from his cell, literally pin him down, cut his mouth and feed his blood to the snake demon. The act of feeding on his blood could also be a metaphor for the snake demon sexually abusing him.

His escape and the resulting fallout

Obanai managed to escape, and although he was tracked down by the snake demon, he was saved by Shinjuro Kengoku before she could kill him. His cousin's response was to blame him for all that happened, asked why he ran away, and said that he should have 'allowed' the demon to eat him.

This could represent how some victims are rejected, ostracized and criticized for speaking out against their attacker, exposing the abuse to the public and getting help. Their families would say 'you should have just let it happen', 'you destroyed the family', 'why did you run away, tell people?' and place the blame on the victim.

Obanai's reaction

There are three aspects of his characterization that are similar to the common reactions noticed in adult survivors of sexual assault, especially male survivors.

His appearance.

His behavior.

His beliefs.

His appearance

Obanai has a small frame that he hides with his baggy uniform and haori. I can tell it's baggy compared to that of the other slayers because of the width of his pants vs the width of his lower legs. Desexualization or hypo-sexualization is a common response among some survivors of sexual trauma, this usually involves wearing clothes and taking measures to make themselves look 'unattractive'.

'But this side feels more comfortable for me, like the baggy clothes I wear, which hide my body, and the long sleeves which reach past my wrists. I promised myself no man would ever touch me again, and whether it was a moment of triumph, or a moment of defeat, I still don't know.'

'I'm thin, shy. I seem easy to dominate. I've grown a beard. That's helped a little. I dress in baggy clothes, covering as much of my skin as possible. That makes me feel safe.'

This not only helps regain a sense of control and power over their body but also serves as a protective measure against sexual advances so they don't get abused again.

In Obanai, given his history of receiving unwanted, suffocating and 'disgusting' attention from his female relatives, it would make sense that he would want to dress in a way that makes him unapproachable and hides his body from the opposite sex. We can see his attempts to desexualize himself in the picture below:

His behavior

'Iguro has difficulty with girls. Due to his experiences growing up, he was unable to conquer his fear and animosity. Plus, the firls who joined the Demon Slayer Corps often put on brave faces because of their sad backgrounds, so he felt sorry for them, making him uncomfortable in a different way.' - Taisho Whispers, official English translation.

'Iguro-san isn't good with women. Due to his upbringing he has a fear and disgust towards women. (I couldn't overcome it easily. The women who joined the Demon Slayer Corps have painful stories of determination. I felt sorry for them and I didn't get along with them in a way that was different from the way I got along with my family)' - Taisho Whispers, direct-sort-of-shitty translation via Google Translate.

Male survivors who were victims of childhood abuse by female perpetrators often talk about how the abuse greatly affected their relationships with women or lack thereof. Some going so far as to say that they became afraid of women, being around them and how sometimes being touched by women would trigger panic attacks and remind them of the trauma.

Here are some quotes posted in a thread on the Male Survivor forum. Full thread here.

'Once that happened, my genophobia became more intense. I couldn't ware short trousers in summer, could never go swimming, got paranoid if I touched a woman's arm or even brushed against one, would always stand at a distance from female friends, and would literally leave the room if anything explicit was discussed.'

'I have started to have strange, deep discomforting feelings as I remember some of the assaults and I have gotten to a place where touch from a woman makes my hair stand up, makes me nauseous, and gives me chills and feelings of dread.'

Obanai has similar responses when he finds himself in proximity to women. We're only told about it in the main manga, but it's shown in the Gakuen. I know the Gakuen takes place in an alternate universe, but aside from the events, the behaviors of the characters are based on their actual personalities in the main manga, so we can safely say the reactions he displays in the Gakuen is canon to his character.

His beliefs

Adult survivors of sexual abuse often struggle with feelings of guilt, rage, and shame. In the manga, Obanai talks about being held back by the decaying hands of his family members, which could represent the long-lasting effects of sexual abuse and how some survivors carry these burdens all through adulthood or throughout their lives.

There's also the thoughts about himself that echo the heartbreaking thoughts shared by some male survivors.

Guilt:

"As the member of a filthy family, I too was corrupt. My sins were deep, so I could not live a normal life"

Rage:

"With no other outlet, I turned all my rage on demons in a grudge of intense hatred. By risking my life for others, I felt as if I could in some way become a slightly better person."

Shame:

"Unless I die and come back in a different body in which this filthy blood does not flow, I have no right to be with you."

Suicidal ideation(mild):

"By risking my life for others, I felt as if I could in some way become a slightly better person."

"I want to die defeating Muzan." (He's the only character that I know of that outright says this.)

He also kind-of expresses his feelings of being weak during the fight with Muzan:

"I've accomplished less in this battle than anyone! I wish I could deliver a more effective attack."

While this quote isn't exactly definite, a feeling of being weak, or being 'less of a man' is also a common experience shared by male sexual assault survivors.

The scar and It's symbolism

The scar is a physical manifestation of the lifelong effect that sexual abuse has on its victims and the stigma it carries. For Obanai, it's not just a painful reminder of the trauma he suffered at the hands of his family, but also a reminder to him that he's like his attacker, the snake demon. The bandages he wraps around his mouth symbolizes not just his attempts to hide his trauma, but also his inability to talk about it due to shame and fear, which is unfortunately an all too common experience of male survivors.

Another struggle survivors often experience is with intimacy, romantic relationships and sex. For Obanai, I believe that this struggle is represented by his eating disorder. The link between food and sex is a well established belief in many cultures, people with large appetites can be seen as having equally high sex drives while people with small appetites have little or no sex drive.

As he grows older, his little appetite is basically him curbing his growing sexual desire, which he sees as ugly, like the scar on his mouth. But the thing is Obanai wants love, he wants to love and be loved, to be intimate with another person, but he feels he doesn't deserve it, after all he's filthy, shameful and probably a predator just like the snake demon. So he starves himself, suffering in silence with the belief that he was disgusting, that no one would ever love him, that he was destined to and deserved to be alone.

Then he met Mitsuri.

In Conclusion, Obanai is way more complex than the KnY fandom gives him credit for. This is a man that went through immense suffering, and it's really sad to see people hate on him because he isn't 'nice'.

Well, that's just how life is. Trauma doesn't exactly make nice people. We can't all be like Giyuu or Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤), a lot of us are like Obanai, Sanemi, and even Shinobu, a lot of us are angry, and why shouldn't we be?

...

*Phew, ok so this one has been in the drafts for a while because I was scared to post such a dark subject matter and also I needed to be really sure I wasn't just talking out of my ass but after rereading his backstory and analyzing aspects of his character, I'm more confident about this.

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #obamitsu #obanai iguro #tw: csa #tw: ed #unhinged theory #unhinged analysis #hashira #demon slayer academy #demon slayer hashira #mitsuri kanroji #might make edits later #kny spoilers #kny analysis #obanai x mitsuri

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butch-reidentified · 9 months ago

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anyone here seen the show Resident Alien?

bc holy shit am I obsessed with the portrayal of 30-something women, their solidarity, feminism, friendship, and fun and self-expression! GODDD I did not realize how BADLY I needed to see a tv show actually depict (attractive but not "bikini models" by any means) adult (and admit they're adults, real adults not 20 yr olds) women as human beings with deep complex personalities and relationships, who really stand with each other despite being flawed humans who do sometimes hurt each other, who are silly and goofy and get into shenanigans bc oh my god WOMEN CAN STILL HAVE FUN AFTER TURNING 30.

Especially later in season 1 and in season 2 (I'm still on s2), there's just so much female badassery and solidarity that I love. there's also a gym workout scene in s2 with my favorite character D'Arcy and tbhhhh that scene is 😨🥵 Like, my wife said "this scene was definitely filmed by a lesbian, right?" 💀 It really did feel like celebrating an attractive woman build muscle without the typical male gaze-y lens. it actually focused on her flexion, facial expressions, sweat, flushing, yk, the things we are supposed to pretend women don't do even while vigorously exercising.

this same woman leads her friends on a drunken midnight raid of town hall where they review the town budget and discover they're paid less than the men. cut to the entire group of women (one of whom is the mayor's wife) standing in the mayor's bedroom in the middle of the night, standing over him and informing him "no, this isn't a nightmare, what the fuck is wrong with you, pay us fairly" like?? holy shit lmao. D'Arcy then proceeds to RENT A HELICOPTER to drop fliers all over town telling women about this and encouraging female solidarity in fighting back. this barely scratches the surface of her character's feminist heroics. in another seen she cuts the brakes on her best friend's abuser's truck and sends it down a hill in front of him, before telling him she'll happily kill him if he gets near her friend again. it's just so much fun to see. she also rescues herself and 2 others from a crevasse in the glacier by climbing 30 feet in a storm with a broken wrist. oh and shes a FORMER OLYMPIC SKIER bc fuck you

I've actually been very impressed with this show in a number of ways. they have a young girl character whose family is Muslim, and the writers seem to want to critique Islam while being aware that they have to avoid performative liberals picking up on this too much. so at first I was a bit 👀 thinking they were going a certain way with the character, but they ended up sneaking in a lot of critiques of Islamic patriarchy. they keep surprising me.

#mine #resident alien

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holylulusworld · 9 months ago

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Valentine reloaded

Summary: Your fiancé breaks your heart on Valentine’s Day out of all days.

Pairing: Mafia!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader, former!(any male character) x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, break-up, mentions/implied cheating, fluff, Bucky being the best, flirting

A different kind of Valentine

Bucky pulled the chair for you and whispered soothing words in your ear. He tried to help you forget about what happened earlier that day. “That’s my favorite restaurant, doll. I hope you like it.”

“Oh, I wanted to try it out for so long. But—” You sighed deeply and shook your head. “I like it already. The ambiance is nice, and I like the cute aprons the waitresses are wearing.”

“You have a good eye for details,” Bucky smirked at your flustered state. “Relax, doll. I won’t bite or eat you alive.”

“Maybe I’m into biting,” you retorted and mirrored his smirk. “You never know about people’s kinks until you end up in bed with them.”

Bucky laughed at your attitude. “I like you already.” He said and sat down to have a look at the menu. “What do you like?”

“I like it spicy, wild but with lots of kissing and gentle touches,” you grinned at Bucky. “OH! You meant the food.”

“You are something else,” Bucky snickered and dropped his eyes to the menu. He’d love to hear more about your preferences in the bedroom but decided against it. You were still hurting and tried to hide the pain another man caused with your cockiness. “I’d love to know everything about you.”

“I think you’d get bored, just like him if you knew everything about me,” you whispered. The light in your eyes and the smirk gone you tried to keep yourself together. “Sorry, I didn’t want to ruin your mood.”

“Doll, you are hurting,” Bucky grabbed your hand and squeezed it. “The man you loved broke your heart and left you for some other girl. You can be sad about it.”

“I don’t want to be sad,” suddenly aware that you are at a fancy restaurant, with a very attractive and nice man you shook your head. “He doesn’t deserve a single tear. Whatever we had, he ruined it and I’m not going to let him win. Let’s eat.”

“Let’s eat, Y/N,” Bucky nodded and squeezed your hand before turning his attention back toward the menu. “I’ll go for meat tonight.”

“I knew you were into some meat,” you winked at Bucky and smirked again. “I’ll go for pasta.”

Bucky nodded and called for the waiter. You ordered your food and released one last sigh. This night should’ve been special for you and your now ex-fiancé. All you wanted was to make him happy. And now you realize, it should’ve been him trying to make you happy for once.

“What do you want for dessert?” Bucky asked, watching you with concern. You were lost in thoughts, and he tried to bring you out of your intrusive thoughts.

“Can you recommend anything?” You asked and looked at Bucky, taking your time to drink his features in. Just now you recognized his eyes, bluer than the ocean you longed to see again for the longest time.

“Doll, you can order whatever your heart desires. My treat,” he softly said. “What do you like? I like the awfully sweet stuff.”

“Sweet,” you giggled. “Really? I thought you were more into the manly kind of dessert.”

“I’m man enough to admit that I like sweet desserts and to caress a woman. All these testosterone-driven wanna-be men are fake. A real man can admit his feelings and make sweet love to a woman.”

“You are laying on thick, huh?” You smiled at Bucky. “I like a man who can manhandle me but make sweet love afterward. The perfect combination of roughness and softness.”

“Y/N, you are making it hard for me to be a gentleman,” Bucky cleared his throat and tried to ignore the desire growing in his pants. He’d love to get to know you better before devouring you.

“Well, you started this, Sir,” you pointed your finger at Bucky. “You cannot talk about your qualities and expect me to not fall for you.”

He chuckled at your words. “I’m warning you, Y/N. If you want me to, I’ll make you fall for me so hard you’ll not even recognize that I put a ring on your finger before you are walking down the aisle.”

“A shotgun wedding then?” You challenge. “I bet you look even better in a smoking. Let me just get a nice dress and we can drive into the sunset.”

“What will you do if I kidnap you and make you my wife?”

You shrugged. “What’s the worst thing that could happen to me? If you wanted to hurt me, you had more than one chance to do so.”

“You are tempting me, doll,” he laughed and tried to play it cool. Bucky was mesmerized by you the moment you slapped him with your clutch. No one ever dared to lay hands on James Buchanan Barnes. Everyone fears the ruthless mobster. “I can still kidnap you after dinner.”

“Good plan, Sir,” you winked at Bucky, feeling a weight get lifted off of your chest. Somehow being around this stranger, you just met helped you forget about your ex-fiancé and his betrayal. “I’m starving and can’t marry a man on an empty stomach.”

“A very good plan, Y/N,” he smiled at you. “Let’s make this dinner worth your time, sweetness.”

Dinner was pleasant. You ate, drank, and chatted with Bucky. Honestly, you didn’t have so much fun for the longest time.

You soon find out that Bucky is easy to talk to. He never judged you or made a face when you ordered the most expensive and delicious dessert you ever ate.

He simply enjoyed your presence and the fact that he made you smile more than once.

When it was time to pay, he refused to let you pay a single buck. It was his pleasure to invite you.

Bucky helped you into your jacket and held the door open for you. You walked next to him, feeling hope bloom in your chest when he suddenly grabbed your hand to hold it.

“That okay?” He murmured. “If not, just say it. I don’t want to overstep.”

“I overstepped by slapping you, Bucky,” you stopped in your tracks to look at him. “You didn’t deserve the slap, or to get yelled at. I’m sorry.”

“Doll, I’ll give you reason in the future to yell at me. Believe me, I’m no saint,” he grinned and wrapped you in a hug. “But I make up for it in the bedroom.”

“Bucky,” you slapped his chest and giggled. “Can we…do this again?” You asked. “I pay next time. I mean…can we go out together or have coffee?”

“We sure will, Y/N,” Bucky said and slung one arm around your shoulder. “Or we could just get married tonight.”

“You’re not funny,” you teased but leaned your head against his shoulder. “Thank you for tonight. You don’t even know me but tried to cheer me up.”

“All for a pretty and sweet dame like you,” he simply said and walked you toward his car. “I’ll drive you home, and make sure you sleep well. I won’t leave you alone tonight.”

Bucky kept his promise and settled on your couch. He knows how hard it is to get your heart broken by the person who should love you the most.

Even though he just met you, Bucky felt responsible for you. That his heart was beating a little too fast close to you didn’t help.

“Fuck,” you sniffled while walking back out of the bedroom, rubbing your tired eyes. “Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Hey,” Bucky got up from the couch to wrap you in his arms when you started to cry again. “We agreed on not crying over that bastard. Didn’t we?”

You nodded against him. “Yeah.”

“What do you need me to do?”

“Can you hold me for a while?” You hid your face in his chest. “Please.”

“Of course, doll.” He softly replied. Bucky wanted to tell you that he would hold you for all your life if you allowed him to do so. “Let’s get you to bed. I won’t leave your side.”

Best Valentine ever

Tags in reblog.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #mobster!bucky barnes #mafia au #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x y/n #Valentine reloaded

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bones4thecats · 3 months ago

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Goku's Child! Reader w/ Three Admirers

Characters: Zamasu, Goku Black, and Trunks Requester/Idea-Starter: @lelewright1234 A/N: You can tell which was my favorite to write for, lol. But, I do hope you guys like this! Credit to the linked above for coming up with this prompt! ⚠️ Spoilers/Trigger Warnings for: Mentions of death, fighting, obsessive behavior - borderline yandere, unwanted physical touch, and war(??) ⚠️

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╚═════ Zamasu ═══════════════════════════════╝

🍵 When you first met Zamasu with your father, the Supreme Kai was surprised to see how polite you were. Unlike your father, you were more of a quiet and reserved being, but that didn't mean you were weak

🍵 You watched with Gowasu as the two fought, and Zamasu was surprised when you jumped in after your father and began to spar against him. Much like Goku, you had a very powerful aura, and this guy was having a difficult time keeping up without using almost his whole power

🍵 It was only when your match ended that you laughed and helped him up that Zamasu realized that you were Goku's middle-child, specifically his only daughter. You looked a lot like him, your matching hair (despite it being in a different style - like your uncle Raditz's), your build - though you were smaller because you inherited your mother's shortness, and your eyes. But, you were different by how you acted

🍵 Zamasu began to question mortals and their values not that long ago, but seeing how delicate you acted around the other deities, he began to ask himself one question; why were you so different from the others in his eyes?

🍵 But more importantly... why did he seem to feel his stomach and heart flutter whenever you would look at him and smile?

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╚═════ Goku Black ═════════════════════════════╝

🔥 You hated this guy with a burning passion. Not only did he wreck your entire home, but he literally killed so many of the people you cared for! If someone asked for you view on him, you would snap in rage before yelling your hatred for him

🔥 But, despite the fact that you so obviously despised him, Goku Black was head-over-heels for you. The way you fought against him just made his cold-heart beat run faster than any amount of adrenaline could make it

🔥 Black enjoys fighting against you, but he does hold his punches, as he, as the 'other mortals' say, "tangled in the gaze of your beautiful eyes on him". And I mean that. He'll see you look into his eyes and he'll grab your hand, attempting to get you in a waltz-like dance in the sky

🔥 Every time he touched you, he would feel his skin tingle in joy. You were so soft despite the long time of fighting, while his own hands were rough and slightly calloused from using so many attacks and tearing the surrounding world apart

🔥 The others were shocked when he would pick you up and hold you by the waist in the air, telling you how much he adored you and tried kissing you. You were stuck in horror, his guy looked exactly like your father! Hell, your Aunt Bulma called him 'Goku Black' for a reason! You just screamed and the past Goku had come up and kicked him away, carrying you down to the others gently, meanwhile Black glare at you and the others in rage. You were going to regret refusing a divine being...

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╚═════ Trunks ═══════════════════════════════╝

⚔️ You two grew up together, and your fathers trained with one another. It only took this connection to bring you guys together in a lovely relationship as you grew up

⚔️ That happy life was unfortunately interrupted with Goku Black came down to attack, and it only made it worse that your father died from the Heart Virus while your own adversary looked exactly like your now-deceased father

⚔️ Trunks was pissed whenever Black tried touching you, and you knew this. The half-Saiyan would lung and cause the other male to fly back, crashing into a nearby building while he checked you over for any wounds possibly delivered by the enemy

⚔️ When you both went into the past, you held your sword in shock. You never expected to see your father in so long, and honestly? It was amazing to hear his voice and get to hug the same man that you lost to such a painful illness

⚔️ Trunks liked seeing you actually happy and comfortable, ever since Black came around, you had hardened and became more like a warrior than anyone else. So, just watching you let that go made his love for you grow larger and larger

⚔️ As you two fought for the final time against Goku Black, Trunks merged his attack with you, which made Merged-Zamasu scream and begin melting even more in agony. And when it finally ended with Future Zeno erasing your home away, you finally got to put your weapons down and live a happy life with your beloved

⚔️ Before you left, you looked back at the young you and Trunks. They asked what you guys were in the future - like asking if you were still friends -, and you just smiled before your Trunks wrapped his arms around you from behind and kissed your cheek, making the young two of you gag with a hint of flush on their faces. You just chuckled and kneeled down to look at the two of them, leaving everyone with one final message from the future you

"Don't ever take one another for granted. You never know when another danger could come through and tear you guys apart. And don't ever, and I mean ever, allow Dad to use his Spirit Bomb on the garden. He did that when I was young and it almost blew up the entire yard..."

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st-eve-barnes · 11 months ago

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Leverage (Michael Gavey x fem Reader)

Chapter 3

Summary: When your ex threatens to release some very personal videos you are left with no choice but to do what he asks: seduce the biggest nerd on campus, Michael Gavey. Will you rock his world or will he fundamentally change yours?

This chapter: You try to bring Michael out of his shell but he's not making it easy on you. After a few confessions at the pub things get heated. First kisses and first oral (male receiving). Touch starved sub Michael.

Word count: +4200

Warning for the entire fic: 18+ for explicit content and language. Kissing, oral sex (male receiving), dry humping, hand job, fingering, p in v sex. First kiss and loss of virginity. Experienced reader. Enemies to lovers vibes.

Fluff, smut and of course angst (my favorite combination! lol) I haven't watched Saltburn yet so all characters in this fic except for Michael are my own.

Read the first chapters Here

***

All my fics are also on AO3

***

The pub felt overcrowded, too warm and too loud and the majority of visitors was drunk or halfway there. This right here was exactly why you had stopped going out every week. You’d only been here fifteen minutes and you already missed the comfort and silence of your room.

It was hard to imagine these people in front of you were among the best and smartest students in the world and were supposed to be the future of the country. It was clear you were all doomed.

You took another sip from your Bacardi Breezer and scanned the room for Michael but there was no sign of him yet. When someone placed a soft hand on your shoulder you turned around with a hopeful smile but it faded as soon as you saw who the hand belonged to.

“Oh, it’s you,” you sighed.

Ben leaned in much too close for your liking to be able to talk to you over the music,”How’s it going?”

“It was going great until just now,” you replied, trying to ignore him and praying for Michael to arrive any minute now.

“Let me rephrase that,” he smirked,”How are things going with you and Michael?”

“It’s going, don’t worry about it.”

“You sure?”

“Yes,” you nodded, looking into his eyes,”I had to improvise a little but I’ll make it work, don’t worry.”

“It better, you know what’s at stake.”

“Yes, I fucking know, okay,” you snapped, shooting daggers at him,”You fucking pathetic asshole.”

Ben just laughed and you were ten seconds away from slapping him in the face when you noticed Michael stepping through the door.

He looked like a fish out of water, hands shoved into his pockets, eyes cast down to the floor as he tried to make his way through the crowd and tried to avoid bumping into people. When he noticed you his lips curled into a small smile and he gave you a little awkward wave. You couldn’t help but smile back and you rushed over to him, and as far away from Ben as you could.

“Hey,” Michael nodded, avoiding your eyes and biting his lip anxiously. You had never seen him this nervous before. He looked like he was about to bolt any minute now and you couldn’t exactly blame him.

“Hey,” you give him an encouraging smile,”Can you at least try and look like you want to be here?”

“Sorry,” he sighed,”It’s just…yeah, sorry.”

“It’s okay, I know this probably isn’t your thing. But thank you for doing this, I really appreciate it.”

“Not doing it for you,” he said quickly,”Just don’t want him to get what he wants.”

“Well, regardless, thank you for coming tonight,” you gave him a grateful smile and leaned in to wrap your arm around his shoulder for a swift hug. Michael froze when you pressed your body against his.

”I should get you a drink, help you relax a little bit,” you said after you leaned back.

“I don’t drink,” he stopped you.

“Oh, okay well, then this is going to be harder than I thought.”

“I’m just…not used to this,” he tried to explain.

“Define this.”

“All of it,” he gestured.

“Okay,” you sighed.

He gave you a sad smile and you actually felt had for him. You realized it must have cost him a lot to step out of his comfort zone tonight, yet he was here, just like he had promised you, to help you deal with Ben. Whatever his motivations were, he was proving that you could count on him.

“Okay,” you gave him another smile,”Why don’t we find a quiet spot to sit somewhere? Get away from the crowd for a bit?”

Michael nodded in relief and followed you to the bar until you found a spot away from all the noise but still close enough for Ben to see you both.

You ordered drinks and tried your best to bring Michael out of his shell, which proved harder than you thought.

“So what do you do for fun then?” you asked.

“Fun?” he shook his head with a little smile,”Fun is nothing but a distraction, I mean look at them…I can practically hear their brain cells deteriorating, one drink at a time.”

You couldn’t help but laugh,”Okay, but you don’t need to be drunk to have fun.”

“I’m here to graduate and secure the best future I can for myself, that’s the only thing that matters,” he continued to ignore your question.

“Right,” you sighed.

“We don’t all have mummy and daddy’s money to fall back on,” he explained, letting his eyes meet yours,”As you know, I think.”

You nodded,”Yeah, unfortunately I do. It’s just me and my mum, we’re not bad off but…ever since dad died it hasn’t been that easy, money wise.”

“I’m sorry, that must have been a hard loss to deal with,” he spoke softly, his sudden empathy taking you by surprise.

You shrugged,”Thanks. It happened years ago, it’s fine, I’m used to it by now.”

Just as you were starting to give up your attempts at keeping the conversation light Michael turned the question back around. “So, what do you do for fun then, Y/N?” he asked.

He seemed relieved when you responded with a smile.“Me? I don’t know, I hang out with friends, we go see movies or get something to eat mostly. Sometimes we go out and I get a little drunk. But not too often, wouldn’t want to kill those precious brain cells.”

Michael laughed at that and then shook his head,”Very funny.”

“I know,” you teased, making him smile some more and you felt proud at finally making him feel a little more relaxed.

“What else?” he asked, now actively doing his best to keep the conversation going.

“Sometimes I take a guy back up to my room,” you blurted out, causing Michael to blush.

“Of course you do,” he nodded.

You took another sip from your drink while you kept your eyes on him,”You ever taken a girl up to your room, Gavey?”

He shook his head with a grin,“Is that your clever way of asking me if I am a virgin?”

“Are you?”

He blushed again and avoided looking at you.

“You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to,” you quickly added, realizing you were probably overstepping but he just nodded his head.

”It’s okay,” he shrugged,”I mean…it’s not like it’s a secret. I’m a virgin, there. Happy now?”

“It doesn’t matter what I think, as long as you’re happy with that choice. I mean, several of my girl friends are virgins, it’s nothing to be ashamed of and it’s not as uncommon as you’d think.”

“Really?” he asked, seemingly comforted by your words.

“It’s not that big of a deal anyway,” you continued,”Having sex with someone isn’t going to fundamentally change you, it’s just sex.”

“Trust me, for someone who hasn’t had it…it’s not just sex.”

You nodded with a soft smile,”Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“And…don’t you think that it should fundamentally change you?” he then added,”Being with the right person, I mean…otherwise what’s the point?”

“The point is to cum, Michael,” you answered bluntly and he laughed at your words, almost choking on his drink.

”Sex is fun, anything else is just what books and movies would like you to believe,” you added,”It’s not like that in real life.”

“You don’t believe in true love then?”

“True love?” you shook your head and laughed,”Oh please, you do? You actually want to wait for the right person to come along before you have sex with someone? What if she, or he, never comes along?”

Michael just shook his head,”First of all, it’s she. And second of all…I guess I’m better off alone than with the wrong person, don’t you think?”

You rolled your eyes,”You’re so naive.”

“And you’re so bitter,” he answered quickly.

“Yeah, well, having Ben as an ex will do that to you.”

“Maybe you should think twice before fucking someone then,” he blurted out.

You looked at him,”Okay, that’s kind of rude.”

“What? Am I wrong?” he continued,”How well did you even know him before you slept with him? And how many other guys like him were there?”

“That’s…none of your fucking business.”

“What? I showed you mine but you’re not going to show me yours? That means the answer is plenty, I guess,” he answered his own question and you wanted to punch him. Who did this guy think he is?

”You shouldn’t be so willing to spend time with assholes,” Michael then added.

“You know what, you’re absolutely right, Gavey,” you gave him an angry look and moved away from him and out of your seat.

“Shit,” Michael sighed,”Wait…fuck, I’m sorry.”

He rushed after you and reached for your hand, pulling you back to him,”Wait, please, don’t go, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I just…I don’t know how to talk to girls.”

“You can’t keep using that as an excuse to be a dick.”

“I know,” he sighed,”I know. I'm sorry.”

He was still holding your hand in his and much to your surprise it didn’t feel unpleasant, quite the contrary. You squeezed his hand and he let go instantly, as if he just realized he was still touching you.

“Sorry,” he whispered.

“It’s…fine.” You weren’t sure if he was still apologizing for his words or because he grabbed you but you realized it didn’t matter. Your urge to flee was gone now.

“Sit back down with me?” he asked,”Please?”

You nodded and followed him and you both sat down again, in silence.

“I’ve never even kissed anyone,” Michael blurted out after a while.

“You haven’t?” you asked, genuinely surprised,”Why not?”

He blushed but smiled, clearly embarrassed by his own confession,”Girls just don’t look at me and see something they want, I guess.”

“Maybe you should try being a little nicer then,” you pointed out.

He shook his head,”I used to be…nicer, it didn’t matter. They take one look at me and bail so…now I don’t even bother.”

“There’s nothing wrong with how you look,” you tried to reassure him but he gave you a knowing look.

“Come on now, I already called you a bad liar once, don’t make me say it again.”

You shook your head but smiled.”Okay, fine, so the clothes could use an upgrade and…maybe you’re not conventionally handsome,” you tried to explain and Michael just started laughing.

“That’s the most polite way I’ve ever been called ugly.”

“You’re not ugly!” you objected,”That’s my whole point, it’s like…oh, it’s like Adam Driver, you know that Star Wars guy?”

“You're really asking a nerd if he knows Star Wars?” he teased you.

“Okay, so Adam Driver isn’t conventionally attractive either but he’s got tons of fangirls everywhere who adore him.”

“Yeah, well, my fangirls seem to be absent, for now.”

You smiled and let your eyes meet his.”You have really pretty eyes,” you then confessed,”And you’re really tall and lean. Girls like that. And your hands are…really nice and…your lips look very soft.”

Michael was blushing hard now and he looked away from you but his lips curled up into a warm smile.”Thanks,” he whispered.

“My point is you’re not ugly, Michael,” you added,”And I’m sorry if people made you feel that way.”

He sighed with a smile,”Thank you. It’s just…I thought it would have happened by now, you know, that first kiss. It’s stupid and I don’t even care but…I just wish…”

“Do you want to kiss me?” you blurted out.

He shook his head with a shy smile,”No, I don’t want your pity kiss, it’s fine.”

“It wouldn’t be like that.”

“Oh, really? What would it be like then?”

“Well…we’re trying to convince Ben we’re fucking, right? If he sees us kiss that might make it more believable. So it’s not a pity kiss, you’d be helping me out with the plan. It’s a win-win.”

He stayed quiet.

“But it’s okay if you don’t want to,” you added,”If you want to wait for the right person, I get it, no pressure…”

“No, I don’t,” he interrupted you, quietly, as if he was surprised by his own words,”I mean I…want to…I want to kiss you.”

“You sure?” you checked.

He nodded eagerly, putting a smile on your face.

“I’m sure,” he confirmed,”I just…I don’t know…how to do it right.”

You turned to face him and allowed yourself to really look at him. His beautiful sincere eyes and that deep blush on his cheeks, the way his mouth twitched nervously as he tried to avoid your eyes but also couldn’t stop himself from wanting to look at you. You had never in your life met anyone like Michael, he was insufferable at times but he was also the purest soul you’d ever met.

And you wanted to kiss him with every fibre of your being.

“It’s okay,” you reassured him,”We’ll start slow. Look at me.”

His eyes met yours and you could tell he was struggling to keep direct eye contact, he was so flushed already and you hadn’t even touched him yet.

“Keep looking at me,” you asked firm but gentle.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, breaking eye contact.

“That’s alright,” you gave him an encouraging smile,”Maybe we should…take these off.”

Your hands reached for his glasses and you carefully took them off and placed them on the table next to you.

“Is that better?” you asked.

“You’re all blurry now.”

You smiled,“Well, I’ll just have to get a little closer then.”

You inched closer to him on the couch and Michael turned so you were both facing each other. You were so close to him now you could feel his warm breath on your lips.

“This better?” you asked softly,”Can you see me now?”

Michael nodded nervously, his blue eyes locked with yours.”I see you,” he whispered.

“Good,” you smiled and then you both just stared at each other, letting him get used to being this close to you.

After a little while you carefully moved your hand up to gently trace your fingers over his cheek. His breath hitched at the contact.

“It’s alright,” you whispered and gently cupped his cheek in your hand,”Don’t be nervous, it’s alright.”

Michael’s eyes closed for a moment as he leaned into your palm. You ignored the way your heart melted at the gesture. Then you leaned in closer, his nose gently bumping against yours before you leaned in further and kissed him softly. It was just a peck of your lips against his but it was enough to set off a very unexpected spark in you.

You looked at each other again. Michael’s gaze was hungry but he didn’t move, patiently waiting for you to make the next move and guide him through it.

“Just follow my lead, okay?” you whispered.

“Hmm,” he nodded.

You kissed him again, just as soft as the first one but this time you opened your mouth slightly to move your lips against his and he reciprocated immediately.

His lips were incredibly soft, as you has expected, and he tasted of mint and the sweet fruity soda he’d been drinking and he kissed you as if you were the best thing he'd ever tasted. When you carefully teased his bottom lip with your tongue he was quick to do the same, slipping his tongue into your mouth and deepening the kiss.

He didn’t need much more guidance after that. His technique might be clumsy and he was a little over eager but he was also a goddamn natural. You felt dizzy from how good it felt to have his lips on yours and after a few minutes you were panting into his mouth and had to stop yourself from crawling into his lap.

What was happening?

You were clinging to his neck with both hands, needing to touch him but he still hadn’t touched you back. His hands were nervously digging into the fabric of the couch as he whimpered into the kiss.

“Put your hands on me,” you breathed,”Please, Michael.”

He whimpered again at the sound of his name from your lips and then his hands were on your waist, pulling you closer to him as he teased your tongue with his and kissed you even deeper.

You were drowning in him. All the other guys you had kissed before were nothing but a distant memory and you’d give them all up in a heartbeat if you could just remember this one kiss.

Who knew nerds could kiss like that?

You weren’t sure how much time had passed but after a while you leaned back to get some air, your lips red and swollen and still aching for more of him.

Michael’s entire face was flushed a deep red and he was breathing so hard it was making you lose focus.

“Fuck,” he breathed,”Was that…was that okay?”

You couldn’t help but laugh and you pressed your forehead against his and nodded while biting your lip.

When Michael noticed he leaned in and bit your lip as well, then pulled you in for another long, slow kiss.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered afterwards,”God…what have you done to me?…I don’t want to stop…I just…please can we keep kissing?”

You innocently kissed his cheek and then moved your lips down, kissing and licking the curve of his neck and his collar bone until Michael whimpered into your ear. His hands firmly clinging to your back.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Michael was cursing under his breath.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m..I’m hard,” he confessed with another whimper,”Fuck, I’m so fucking hard.”

You just smiled at him,”Yeah, a few good kisses will do that to you.”

You continued kissing his neck, relishing in the soft little moans spilling from his lips and then you noticed how he was bucking his hips up, seeking for contact that wasn’t there, desperate for some friction or relief.

You moved one hand over his hip and then down to his inner thigh, the huge bulge in his pants was growing right before your eyes and it made you absolutely feral. You hadn’t planned for this at all, you’d just wanted to kiss him and maybe tease him a little bit. But having him squirming under your hands now and moaning so desperately into your ear you realized you wanted to give him so much more.

“You want me to take care of it?” you whispered into his ear, caressing his erection slowly. Michael just moaned and buried his face against your neck while he nodded his head.

“I’m going to assume you’ve never had a blow job before,” you whispered to him,”Would you like one?”

He looked up into your eyes, shock all over his face as he breathed,”I…no, I haven’t…obviously I…fuck…Are you for real?You would…you would do that? With me?”

“Do you want me to?” you asked softly.

“Yes,” he breathed,”God, fuck yes…yes. Please. Please.”

You pulled out of his arms, making him whine in frustration at the loss of contact but it was forgotten quickly when you took his hand and dragged him with you towards the bathrooms.

Ben smirked at you both as you passed by him but neither you or Michael noticed.

You pushed Michael inside one of the stalls and locked the door behind you.

He was quick to grab you by your hips and push you up against the door while he kissed you again. You reciprocated eagerly, letting your hands caress all over his messy hair, down to his chest and then his stomach.

When you started fumbling with his belt Michael started cursing again, trying his hardest to keep it together. His hands moved over your ass and tried to push up your dress but you stopped him.

“What?” he asked, disappointment all over his pretty face.

“This is about you tonight, not me.”

“No, I wanna touch you, please, let me touch you,” he whined.

“Not tonight,” you pulled his pants down, freeing his erection and it made the both of you gasp out loud, for very different reasons. He was big, exceptionally big, and really beautiful, and so fucking hard. You knew he must have been desperate for that sweet release.

You bit your lip and leaned in to whisper into his ear,”I want to put my mouth on you, Michael, is that okay?”

He nodded quickly, his breathing picking up again. ”Yes, yes,” he whimpered,”Oh god, please…please. It’s so painfully hard, just…just touch it please.”

No guy had ever begged so beautifully before and it had you down on your knees so easily, your eyes looking up at him while you carefully placed your hand over his length and started jerking him, slowly. He sighed in relief at your touch, eyes closing in a blissful moan.

You couldn’t help but smile up at him.”You’d better not cum on me within two seconds, Gavey,” you warned him with a teasing grin.

Michael laughed in between heavy breaths,”Can’t make any promises.”

And then your mouth was on him and all he was left with were heavy moans and whimpers as he fought very hard not to burst on the spot.

His hands were nervously balled into fists until you grabbed them and guided them into your hair, giving him something to hold onto. He caressed your scalp so gently it was pulling at your heart strings and distracted you from what you were doing for a moment.

You took him deeper into your mouth, all the while jerking the rest of him in your hand. Michael’s fingers tightened into your hair while his hips bucked forward desperately. The moans spilling from his lips were enough to make your cunt throb for him but you had meant what you said. Tonight wasn’t about you. You just wanted to make him feel good and you knew he wasn’t going to last long anyway.

When you started moaning around his cock he was done for and he finally gave in, holding the back of your head while he fucked up into your mouth with hard short thrusts, making tears spill from your eyes and the next thing you knew he was spilling into your mouth with a muffled cry.

He wanted to pull out but you didn’t let him, keen to swallow every last hot drop and make him cry even more.

“Oh god, oh holy shit, that was…fuck, that was so good,” he was babbling again and trying to catch his breath, coming down from his high and you smirked while you wiped your mouth.

He was quick to pull you back up into his arms and into a deep, hungry kiss.

“Fuck,” he breathed, licking into your mouth,”I can…I can taste myself on your tongue…that’s so fucking hot.”

When he cupped your face he could feel the tears on your cheek and he pulled back, looking at you while he gently wiped them away.

“Made you cry,” he whispered and then he leaned in to place a few soft kisses on your cheeks, taking his time to gently kiss your tears away,”Sorry…I’m sorry.”

His soft and sweet caresses almost made you want to cry for real.

You grabbed his wrists and leaned back,”It’s okay, they’re not real tears, having a dick shoved down your throat will do that to you.”

“Oh. I didn’t…hurt you, did I?”

You smiled softly and shook your head,”No, you didn’t hurt me, Michael, you’re good.”

You wanted to step back but he was quick to place his hands on your hips and keep you in place. His eyes were staring at you, satisfied and tired but also still hungry and you smiled softly and shook your head.

“No, not tonight,” you whispered.

“Come on, why not? Aren’t you horny as fuck right now? Don’t you want me to…touch you?” he leaned in to place a soft lingering kiss on your lips,”Don’t you want me to fuck you?”

You almost gave in right then but you pulled away and shook your head.”Shouldn’t your actual first time be in a soft, comfortable bed with candles and sweet music?” And someone you actually love?

He smirked,”You just sucked me off in a dirty bathroom stall and it was the best experience of my life, you think I care about music and candles?”

You couldn’t help but laugh.”I think you’ve had enough firsts for one night.”

You pushed him back and he didn’t object this time even though his face was clouded in obvious disappointment.

“Next time then?” he asked hopeful and relief flooded his features when you smiled and nodded.

How could you refuse him anything when he looked at you like that?

You leaned in to place a soft lingering kiss on his lips, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach,“Yeah, maybe next time."

#michael gavey x reader #michael gavey smut #michael gavey x you #michael gavey #ewan mitchell fanfic #michael gavey x fem reader

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bloggingboutburgers · 2 months ago

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It's even worst in media for women. Now I just learn to enjoy the story until, inevitably, the love interest appear because how can the story be interesting without romance?

There's a manga, the apothecary diaries, that I love for the mystery in it. When the anime was released all people cared about is the male character.

All the posts was about thirsting on him and shipping him with the heroine. And I know. She will fall for him. Because if a guy like the heroine in a manga, then she have to fall too. Because else everyone will hate her and what's the point of a story without romance again?

But it piss me off to then read performative post about platonic relationship or how to value female characters.

Even in fandom for women, it's all about romance and guys. Nobody really care about the heroine, she's just there to fall in love with the fan favorite.

See Shojo mangas fans try to make us heard and I totally support it. But I never see this much enthusiasm for the non romantic shojo there is or even non romantic shojo with a female mc.

I'm at a point where everyone is hypocritical in my eyes.

BRUH NO LEGIT I HAVE THE SAME TAKE ON THE APOTHECARY DIARIES

I followed the anime myself and the MC always seemed so hilariously uninterested in what looked to me like a creepy guy who wouldn't leave her alone, the energy she displayed as a reaction to him was hilarious... And after seeing comments on the anime online I realized people didn't find the guy's behavior creepy at all, they found it charming, and I found myself in a big "are people for real...?" state of confusion. Idk I guess there's a loooot I don't get.

But yeah... Seriously. I don't get it. Got nothing to add to this other than "yep I definitely don't get it either". Power to people who find appeal in this tbh, they probably get to enjoy life a lot more than we do, but... Yeah I don't get it.

#kaoruko han #the apothecary diaries #aroace #aromantic #asexual

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clairedaring · 6 months ago

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if you're hoping for joe 2.0 to get his 'revenge' in the second half of the series...

warning: mild novel spoilers (but also not really because i'm just discussing things that have been shown in the trailer)

i really think you should either drop the series or give up the hopes of a satisfying makjang revenge storyline in my stand-in instead of setting yourself up for disappointment. because that simply isn't the story that my stand-in is trying to tell.

so what is my stand-in about really?

well, for me i think its a romance tragicomedy drama about an idiotic scum male lead losing the person he loves most because of his own arrogance and refusal to listen to his heart and the series of unfortunate events that happened consequently for our protagonist who was living a peaceful and quiet life as a stunt actor before the scum male lead entered his life.

joe 2.0 and his approach to life

i've mentioned it twice now that one of my favorite traits of joe/zhou xiang is that kindness in his strength where even if he can be choose to be mean or cruel, he simply doesn't because he has such a soft heart and he's weak to see others in pain (joe is my fellow enfp people pleaser okay) (⁠っ⁠˘̩⁠╭⁠╮⁠˘̩⁠)⁠っ which is why even in his 2.0 life, you won't get to see joe turning 180 degree and going around to hurt everyone who's ever hurt him like it's some makjang kdrama.

and while that seems like it could be fun, i think the reason why i loved professional body double (my stand-in novel) so much in the first place is because that very distinction between joe and other rebirth/second chance at life protagonists that you often see in revenge kdramas/cdramas/thai lakorns.

logically, if my stand-in was a 24-episode one31 lakorn/thai soap opera, joe would be full of hatred and burning rage after his rebirth and started his intricated revenge plot while still falling in love with ming whom he should hate the most.

and yet he isn't (or at least it seems to me so far).

if you read the lyrics 'Die For You' - the opening ost of my stand-in, i think you can have a good guess of what the second half of the story will be like.

Even running away to death can't help. If my heart had chosen to stop at you I'll have to surrender with the confusion I feel. To come back to the same old place. Even if I have to die, disappear and then be reborn But the love is still buried deep inside, even if it's been shattered into pieces Even if my life ends, I can't stop my heart from calling out to you Because this whole body, life, spirit It is yours only, for all eternity.

and even from the trailer of my stand-in, you can tell that joe 2.0 has a lot of internal conflicting feelings about whether he could trust ming again after the betrayal he faced in his 1.0 life. and i feel like essentially the journey of ming proving to joe 2.0 that he really does love joe is very much the central plot in the second half part of the story.

so i'd like to take this part to note how well the series has done to adapt the novel so far. i think a good adapted change they've made is this early realization of feelings for ming in the joe 1.0 timeline. i do think the novel made him realized his feelings a little bit later but my stand-in did well to show within ep.3 what happiness could have looked like for joe 1.0 and ming and i think it rationalizes a bit more more for why joe 2.0 would still have feelings for ming 'buried deep inside' even when he's been badly hurt the first time around. and reading the story i've always found it interesting that they took this route to focus on the re-entangled complex relationship between mingjoe rather than going for a joe-centric revenge makjang plot (i swear if this was your typical thai lakorn, joe would seduce ming while planning to take down his whole family or something).

of course, that's not to dismiss that there's a lot of character growth for joe in the second half of the story, especially in his building of self-confidence, self-worth, the ability to put himself first and the fight for his own happiness above all. but like i've mentioned above, his growth journey is not at the expense of a drastic personality change in regards to the kind hearted joe we saw in his 1.0 life. instead, we get kind hearted joe 2.0 who quickly adapts to his new life and attempts to start anew while conflicted feelings resurface for him as he is pulled back into the relationships he once had.

all in all, my stand-in is still at the heart of it, a love story. perhaps, a dark romance as my friend @dragonsandphoenix would call it, but a romance nonetheless. i think that is what also makes professional body double such a compelling read too, because the progression in the feelings and complex emotions of these characters are so tightly written that it's convincing enough for me (maybe not for others though) to believe that yan ming xiu has/will always love zhou xiang (to the point ymx would probably eliminate anyone else who dared to steal zx from him). obsessive love? yes. do they both need therapy? probably. yet i still believe in their happy ending? of course.

final note/disclaimer: then again, this is just my PERSONAL opinions based on the novel and up til 3 episodes of my stand-in (which seems to be very faithful to the novel so far), who knows maybe they can anger novel fans and adapt it completely differently later on (something i sure hope they don't but we'll seeeee) ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

#my stand in #my stand in the series #my stand-in #professional body double #my stand in novel spoilers #msi thoughts #poom phuripan #up poompat #claire opens up her goddamn mouth

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ryo-kaikura · 2 months ago

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Yandere Sebastian Michaelis x Dom(?)male reader

My feelings for him caught on so I'm writing this.

Idk this just came to mind and this was from four or three years ago

One day, you wake up, your body similar to the body you had. You know you died, you saw that ‘God’ or whatever they called themselves. It looked horrific but mesmerizing but they said something along the lines of “it's a mistake” “Game she likes”.

After arriving it seems that they were talking about your sister's favorite otome game with black butler, a popular anime after it was released for a while but some of the characters were good looking. You always felt a connection with one of the characters, Sebastian Michaelis.

After you composed yourself, you realize your character is the soft dom butler in love and sorta obsessed with Sebastian then when the MC came and she made you realize he didn't like you, you become obsessed with the MC then one night a mysterious vampire was hungry and drained you, you died in a very tragic and painful way.

Well you didn't want that and you realize this was months before the MC came to the manor so when you started to work, you slowly distanced yourself from Sebastian.

One day, Sebastian asked to talk to you. He was asking why you seem colder and will it affect your work performance. You, with a “did you hit your head or something” Look, questioned why he would care cause all the staff barely do they're work right and he could do it all again in a second. He then dismisses you. After that you returned to your job while slowly only asking or answering Sebastian when you needed his help or when he needed your assistance.

Sebastian, after the conversation, questions himself ‘why did i care if he's cold to me’ ‘it didn't even affect the job?’. Later that night Sebastian asked if you liked him. You answered the truth that you used to but you decided to stop your feelings before it got too far. Little did Sebastian or you know, this little conversation would spark a wildfire.

After a while Sebastian felt that he needed to have your attention on him again. He felt that without your attention he felt something was amiss so he decided to get your attention but it all failed with either a questioning look or other staff praising him. A month passed, the MC still had a few couple months before she arrives but just to prepare for the vampire you started to workout, guess being a “soft dom” Helped cause your strength and muscle mass increase quite fast and you suddenly was able to rip metal, you had to apologize quite a lot cause of that. (The workout was in the course of the month)

A week later and it was your turn to go shopping in the town for snacks and delicacies that the servants and young earl Phantomhive wanted. After getting what they wanted and ordering for the rest to be sent and some to be brought later, you go and pick the thing you want and for some reason you decide getting some peroxide would be useful. After getting the rest of the items, it turns out it was already late.

While walking to your horse you felt like someone was watching you or stalking you. You decided if it was a human you could beat them. So you went into an alley. When you look back you saw a… … … Vampire?????

Why did it arrive now??? Wasn't your death by blood drainage months later???? When the vampire attacked you, you felt nothing. Not fear, not adrenaline, nothing. After being pounced on, you felt your life flash before you eyes, the life of a butler over the course of two months. But feeling like this vampire is weak and testing that theory, you decide to pull him off and bite his neck (like "UNO REVERSE B*TCH" type of thing), after he is stunned, you grab his heart and start to rip it to shreds, somewhere in the middle you feel the heart stop beating.

(I don't really know the other ways to kill a vampire so i just took a theory that you need to stab they're heart with a stake and make it tha even if it's not inside the body, the vampire could still live and just go off that)

When you woke up, it was in the same room you woke everyday for the past 2 months, your room, and you didn't feel any pain. When you saw yourself in the mirror you saw a body that went from ‘soft dom’ to ‘daddy dom’ (even I'm having secondhand embarrassment). Your body used to have a layer of fat covering your abs but now you're ripped. After thinking how you got back, a memory flashed. You suddenly remember subconsciously bringing the snacks back and cleaning your clothes of any blood with the peroxide.

Feeling nothing is wrong you decide to continue working. While working you felt that Sebastian has been acting strange, he acted like you're disgusting but also he's in love with you. You didn't know why until you saw Baldroy accidentally cut his finger and wanting to suck it up, you turned into a vampire. You decide nothing of it until that night you had a dream of the ‘God’.

They said that it was going off course but this was more entertaining so They would let it be and both you and ‘him’ are entertaining to watch. You woke up at midnight confused. When you tried to sleep again you felt thirsty but you didn't want to drink blood like dracula style. So you decide to go to the kitchen. When you were about to go take a glass you saw on the table a red liquid, you already know what it is just by smell but your body felt like it forced itself to go by instinct and gulped it down your throat. Afterwards you felt like you could go to sleep

The next day, you wake up energized and excited so you were able to finish your job early and decided to rest. A few moments later Sebastian passed by. He decided to ask if you're a vampire and he assured you that he would harm you and you showed signs of knowing he is a demon (i think).

After telling him, Sebastian seems to reassures himself for some reason and then says, there's a guest that comes from France and he hoped you could help the others from making a mess while he helps the young master. You didn't see why not so you helped the others but it seems before you had arrived they had already made a mess. You decided to clean up while waiting for Sebastian to show up as usually he has a plan for all this.

Well that ended quite happily with the guest running and falling to his carriage. Though with that experience you realize your senses have quadrupled and you could hear almost half the manor if you were in front of it quite clearly if you tried. But it seems sometimes when you don't deliberately try to hear it just goes 3 meters around you clearly. Suddenly you woke up again at midnight thirsty and you saw the same cup filled with blood on the same spot. You thought nothing of it as your body just swallowed the blood like chugging a beer.

Two months past and there is only two months left before the MC of this game arrives for a “my uncle house burned so he sent me here because your father was close to my uncle and you father owes us something in return of saving his life” quite cliche but ok. But the most surprising thing is that you have slowly fallen in love with Sebastian Michaelis over this past month for no reason!!!! Sure it could be after you turn into a vampire you stopped distancing yourself but how could your heart beat for that heartless demon TT.

After a few days, you decide to confess as it's best to get your feeling destroyed now than later 🙃. After asking Sebastian to meet you at the kitchen, you waited for the agreed upon time and a few minutes before you saw Sebastian. When you finally said the words, you were hoping Sebastian would dump you by saying things like “a relationship between servants is not ideal for a healthy environment” Or “I'm not looking for a love life, sorry” But it shocked you, Sebastian said that he has had the same feelings for a WHILE!!!. Oh well, guess we're dating now 😬🤭.

Though somehow your dom character made Sebastian to a sub in the relationship as you thought impossible (i just like making a canonly dom man to a sub😋😓). So he moved into your room and somehow the bed magically got bigger.

When the day comes for the MC to arrive. You were right beside Sebastian as your relationship still stands and it's strong with Sebastian's subtle jealousy and possessiveness and young master Ciel's permission😭. When MC arrived she was different. She didn't come with a white lotus facade but she came in strong and asked for a job????

Afterwards,I thought she would accuse me of stealing Sebastian or something but she didn't care, all she cared about was books and doing her job. Soon she came to me to talk but she didn't sound like she despised me and somehow I accidentally told her you were reincarnated. Then she said she did as well. When we talked about what and where you’re from it turns out this world is currently a BL book and the main character is you. Though whenever she says something that hasn't happened yet you can't seem to hear or understand her. Her writing looks gibberish her words sounds messed up but she's always warning you about something.

One day you saw her talk to Sebastian about something she knows he's doing and asking him to stop. And Sebastian laughing and telling you won't believe her and you won't even be able to hear her. You decide to ignore and continue working. Later that evening you decide to rest, the MC named Alice (i forgot to name her) meet you and told you something shocking and you were able to hear her completely

the day after you turned into a Vampire, What you didn't know was that Sebastian knew the moment a vampire got inside the house but didn't know who until you showed up to work. He was confused on how you became a vampire and disgusted by the thought of being a vampire but the moment he knew it was you, he decided not to care. That evening, after the young master was still working, Sebastian decided to read about vampires.

Suddenly he saw a book, the book felt it was calling him. When he picked it up and read it, he saw a bold text.

“ A VAMPIRE WILL FALL MADLY IN LOVE WITH A DEMON/DEVIL IF THEY SO MUCH AS A DROP EVERY DAY FOR TWO MONTHS” (works with angels blood too~)

Sebastian read the rest of the article saying things like “because to a vampire, a demon’s/devil's blood is like a love potion that if the two months pass, they will never truly hate the demon/devil. Angels have weaker effects because blah blah blah blah” Like being struck by lightning Sebastian knew what to do to poor you. (The “blah blah” is just what Sebastian stopped caring about).

After hearing everything, it all clicked in your head. How you suddenly liked him, how suddenly there was a cup of blood after you turned a vampire and also how suddenly you always felt drinking Sebastian's blood made you fall deeper for him but you thought nothing of it because you trusted him.

you decide to confront him but when you meet him,he was smiling, smirking, unbothered and when you saw his eyes you could think of anything else. Why were you angry, why were you enraged, what made you enraged. After a while of staring into his demonic eyes you snapped out of it. You remembered and asked Him the reason why he did this. He answered that it was because you didn't want to like him anymore so he felt something was missing so he decided to take matters into his own hands and take you for himself.

Usually you would feel betrayed but you felt nothing but affection for the person in front of you for unknown reasons. When you thought of what happened it felt like everything was erased and written back in a way that Sebastian was seen as the perfect man out there, no flaw in his logic, no problem in his love. You felt it was right to be with him.

When you stop thinking, suddenly your body moves, you move in the direction of Sebastian. You feel the need to drink his blood. He then realizes, his blood isn't only a love potion but it's an addiction, where you can't get anywhere else.

After Sebastian was able to shoo Alice out of the Phantomhive manor, he was delighted with the new found knowledge. He feels the rush of edging you when you disagree with him and rewarding you with his blood when you can't stop trying to drink his blood.

He would whine and act pitiful to you, pulling your heartstring but you still lead the relationship but the only reason the relationship even last his Sebastian’s blood

After Sebastian eats Ciel’s soul, he makes a contract with you, as you still had your soul as you didn't die from being bitten by a vampire. And so the both of you stay together with you leading and slowly falling in love with Sebastian and Sebastian getting more and more obsessed with You

___________________________________________

Sorry for not continuing the other story, I had a massive block and can't come up with things to continue the story. I might scratch the one I'm currently writing and re write it for the nth time

#male yandere x male reader #dom male reader #top male reader #sub yandere #yandere x male reader #yandere male x male reader #sub!yandere

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narbevoguel · 1 year ago

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I've always wondered why Aroace peeps feel excluded, when there's lots of cool friendships in media out there. But the more I interact with people across communities, I realize why they feel excluded, especially among their own LGBT peers. Two male characters are really good friends? They must be gay and kissing and doing naughty things! Two women spending time together? Must be lesbians! Two or more characters of any gender getting along just fine? Nope, must be all dating!

Like, I understand shipping characters is fun, I myself do it from time to time, but exploring characters' friendships I find much more appealing cause there's a charm to friendships that I believe romantic relationships ain't got. We gotta learn to appreciate the friends we have, for their unconditional platonic love is as strong as any romantic love, if not stronger.

That's why I will propose to myself a slight challenge: Aroaceptember. Sadly, I can't promise I will be able to draw something daily under this theme because I still gotta work to survive, but I'll try my best to, and in the days I can't, I can talk about my favorite friendship dynamics I've seen in media I've partaken in, or share fanfics/fanart of friendships that I've liked.

If you're interested in that, feel free to stick around, and if you wanna do it yourself, please, by all means. We gotta let our aroace folk know that they're also appreciated.

#random rant #aromantic asexual #aroace #No I'm not coming out as Aroace #But I value my friendships way more #Let the bestiefest begin soon

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kittyscupcakeandbunny · 3 months ago

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My BFF is a Vampire

18+

BLOOD SUCKERS

Characters: ot7 x reader

Warnings: mentions of violence, described sex scenes, death, consumption of alcohol and blood, threesome, male and male intercourse, explicit sexual interactions, sharp objects, knife play, wax play, blood play, and more.

Genre: supernatural, fantasy, vampire, angst, reversed harem, best friends to lovers.

🩸My Master List🩸

Intro;

I knew something was wrong in the small city I’ve been living ever since I was born here and after I graduated from high school I was sure it had nothing to do with the fact that the whole year this small hell of a city called Spring Villa always rained every day.

Every god damn day.

Not that i was complaining, one summer during a high school trip to California was enough for me to realize hot weather was not for me. One day to be more specific, it was my first time and everything seemed so more alive and colorful. But all come to an end since i had to spend the rest of the trip at the hospital with an IV inside my arm due to being exposed to the sun for too long, just one afternoon which was the same as everyone else did but i was the only one who almost died that day for burning on the sun and end up looking like a hot Cheeto. After that i even started to enjoy the cold humid air hitting my face every day when i left to work, the only thing it didn’t change was my hatred for the rain every morning. Getting wet before work was not very enjoyable, everyone could agree on that note.

But the beautiful weather of the city was not the most uncanny thing about it, it has been almost ten years since a serial killer was circling around the Spring Villa. I was only a teen when everything became known to everyone in the city that something wasn’t right, so many bodies were found around Spring Villa along the years people began to stay at home locked away from everything. Some left the city for once and never came back, those who stayed were people who had nowhere else to go, like me.

My father was terrified of the accidents involving the serial killer in town and he too left before anyone else, leaving me and my mother behind. I couldn’t blame him especially after my brother ended up becoming one of the victims, when the police officer called for my parents to identify the body it didn’t felt real to me. I was not allowed to go since at the time i was underage but, I didn’t even got a chance to say goodbye either. My parents didn’t do a funeral for him, it was all too much to bear so instead he was cremated and thrown on a river on the west side of Spring Villa his favorite place to hide with his friends. Ever since that happened my parents have not been the same, I knew that sooner or later this was bound to happen. When father left it was the last straw of sanity of my mother, she became an alcoholic and well… not good.

I’ve been working at the Spring Grill ever since I graduated high school, apart from so many people leaving the city many others came from cities around the town to get a bit of incloser about the serial killer of Spring Villa, he was never caught and that mystery seemed to amaze many tourists around town.

People from all over came to my stupid silly little city to make videos about the killer of my brother, at first I was so angry at them I wished they just didn’t came at all but, over the years it became dull and empty inside my heart. I had more to worry about then that and since I needed money to pay the rent I was more then happy so many tourist came to Spring Villa.

After all I meet my best friend like that.

Notes: Hello readers! Here’s a new story for all of you I truly hope you guys enjoy this work as much as you all been enjoying my old works. This story has been going around my mind a lot and I thought what better time to write then now? So here it is! Taglist is open so leave your request in the comments and I’ll add you! Love all of you, Author. 🩵

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dazed--xx · 2 months ago

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💘When Hearts Collide💘

Member: Non-Idol! Hyunjin x Reader

Word count: 9.9k +fake texts

T/W: angst, mentions of puberty, stereotypes of male and female friendships, teasing (friendly), Underage drinking (PLEASE BE CAREFUL wont say don't do it in my culture its pretty accepted if its a sip or two), jealousy, mutual pining, suggestive behavior but no smut (Theyre minors...like ill imply or mention that they've had sex or not cause their age range is 16-17 years old which is over the age of consent if its with another minor in the same age range but as a 26 year old I wont be writing teenagers having sex just seems odd to me), mentions of suicide but like in a joking way, arguing, Jungkook is legit voice of reason character. anything else that could potentially be a trigger.

A/N: wow i actually like loved this story and I was such a bitch about it. man the "groups chats" gonna love this one.....lol but nah fr I really appreciate the requester for this. i legit wrote it every chance I got these past few days so I hope you enjoy it. Also I might do another one from Li-Rin’s perspective cause it might be really cool and good too do

Can men and women be just friends?

Y/N thought so, for many years, she held her best friend Hwang Hyunjin close to her heart. Seeing him as more of a chaotic twin brother than a romantic partner. They had met at the tender age of 5 years old in kindergarten. She could remember it like it was yesterday when he extended the half-eaten candy bar to her as she wailed about not having a snack. His bright doe-eyed smile as he helped her wipe her tears. The soft pat on her back as she nibbled on the candy. She hadn't realized how this small interaction would develop into the most important friendship of her life.

Y/N will admit, unlike the other girls, she hadn't noticed Hyunjin was a guy until her second year of high school. While plenty of girls in middle school would fawn over him, she never really saw the appeal they had when it came to her best friend. This was the boy she saw cry for hours when his favorite anime was cancelled and he screamed like a final girl when he was tossed into her pool by her older brother. He was the kid she spent her summer nights in a tent collecting fireflies and telling ghost stories with. She saw him throw up on Choi Soojin when they kissed at a birthday party in 6th grade, and cry like a girl when Kim Mina broke up with him to date his friend in 7th.

How could she ever see him as a man?

She would have sworn that she never could if he didn't disappear the summer between the first and second year of highschool. Dance camp was what he had told her when he finally could answer her calls. His voice was deeper than it normally was and Y/N shrugged it off, not bothering to think much of the explanation until she saw him. That's when she realized it wasn't only his voice that could change when he hit puberty. Though she had developed before she started high school, she forgot the changes that came with puberty. No longer did her best friend have a chubby-cheeked baby face, his features were much more defined. Y/N wasn't sure how to handle the way her heart raced when he smiled at her. The way he ruffled her hair before wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into a tight hug.

Y/N felt her cheeks heat up as her breath hitched in her throat. She hugged him back after a moment, before quickly trying to pull away from him. Her eyes avoided his as she continued to rack her brain for some kind of explanation as to why she had felt that way toward her best friend. While she had, had a boyfriend before, he never made her heart flutter like that. She was surprised when she felt Hyunjin's grasp on her waist tighten as he inhaled burying his face in her neck. "Where are you going? I missed you a lot, let me hold you for a second" He whined. She knew her face was a bright scarlet at his words. How could it not be? Her heart was pounding against her chest. "I-I missed you too but I don't want to be late..." She stammered shyly as she went to pull away from him again, this time turning away from him and he kept his arms wrapped around her waist letting his chin rest on her shoulder.

A pout sits on his lips as he stares at her "When did class become more important than me?"

"Will you be able to make my mother not be on my ass about college?" Y/N questioned as she raised her eyebrows as she tried to pry his arms from around her waist. "Stop treating me like a creep let me hug you I haven't been able to annoy you for almost three months" He groans. Y/N shakes her head as she palms herself at his words.

"You are a creep if you hold on to a girl without her consent"

"You're a girl?" Hyunjin asks in disbelief his hands resting on her waist as his eyes travel from her face down her neck, his teeth involuntarily taking his bottom lip as his eyes linger on her chest and hips for a moment. Y/N rolls her eyes at his words not noticing his wandering eye. "I can remind you if you'd like..." She teases playfully. Hyunjin's eyebrow raises in amusement for a moment before he shakes his head to himself before letting her go.

"How's that?" He whispered in her ear. He pressed his chest against her back, and Y/N turned her head to face him. She bats her eyes at him flirtatiously. "Wouldn't you like to know?" She teased as she scrunched her nose at him and walked toward the entrance to the school. Their sophomore year continued with flirty touches and whispers filled with unofficial infatuation. But they were still just friends and nothing more in Y/N's eyes. Nothing too different than normal teasing between best friends, they didn't really mean anything by it.

Right?

The summer proved to be confusing.

While she spent her days either with Hyunjin or at her part-time job, she found her eye wandering in her best friend's direction more and more. She found herself more excited to be at work than hanging out with Hyunjin the more summer went on. The close proximity she and Hyunjin typically kept when they hung out seemed to become overwhelming for her for some reason. Her friend, Li-Rin, swore she was developing a crush on him. Y/N could remember vividly how adamantly she denied the claim.

How could she have a crush on Hyunjin? It's Hyunjin...She never thought she would see him that way, and how could she? They've always been closer to siblings, so much so that their birthdays were separated by only a day. She never once thought that she would feel her heart flutter when he smiled at her. Nor had she expected her cheeks to turn a bright crimson every time he leaned in close to watch a video on her phone or when their finger brushed as she handed him something. She hated it honestly, how could she be one of those girls. She needed time away and felt picking up more hours at work would help her clear her mind and figure out how she felt about him. Spending that time away was helpful but she couldn't avoid him when she got out of work. He was practically part of the family, due to his living at the sharehouse her parents rented out to her and her friends. Her parents adored him and always invited him to holidays.

Y/N thought the party Li-Rin invited her to would finally be her escape. A way for her to get away from Hyunjin and her confusing feelings for him and clear her mind. Maybe even meet a cute boy in the process. But the moment she saw that familiar onyx mop of hair and lanky build with a petite brunette on his arm, she felt her comfort completely extinguish.

How could he be everywhere? she wondered as she made a beeline for the kitchen to indulge. The cluster of colorful glass bottles that sat beside the sodas drew her attention as she reached for a clear bottle with a red seal around the top. "Vodka....You sure that's a good idea?" An unfamiliar male voice questions from behind her. She groans in frustration as she turns to the person "Is that really your--" Her words are trapped in her throat as her eyes meet his. He's almost like a work of art and you weren't talking about the tattoos that littered his right arm.

He chuckles with a smirk as he raises his eyebrow in amusement. "Wow...You're actually speechless. I've never had this happen to me before" He comments. She shakes her head pulling herself out of her trance as she grabs a red solo cup, "I-I was caught off guard..." Y/N murmured twisting the cap off the clear bottle. The guy stares at her worriedly as she pours a large amount of vodka into the cup filling it almost halfway showing her inexperience. "Woah.. that's probably not a good idea" He warns as he tries to grab the cup from her.

Y/N's movements are faster than his as she quickly tries to drink the whole thing but the moment the stinging liquid hits her throat she feels herself gag. "Yup. That was probably a bad idea...." The stranger nods as she coughs at the burning sensation in her throat. She felt the stranger pat her back, comfortingly as she coughed up her lung. "I'm Jungkook by the way" He states sarcastically "You know? Since I have to take care of you now" his lips curl into a flirty smirk. Y/N groaned at his words "Nah, I'll be okay.." His eyes widen for a moment as she goes to walk away from him and embarrassment fills her gut. The lack of experience with alcohol made her body tingle with warmth, the room felt wavy. "W-wait!" Jungkook calls as he grasps her wrist. She stares at his hand as if it was a foreign object and he pulls his hand away.

"Sorry, but you just took a lot of alcohol to the head...you should probably sit down." He states as he lifts his hands in surrender. You stare at him with nervous curiosity. "No funny business and I'll just help you to the couch." He states calmly.

"Why?" She questioned nervously.

"You looked like you didn't know what you were doing when you were trying to get something to drink. I mean you clearly didn't even know that even for a heavyweight that was way too much to drink all at once.." He confesses.

"So what? You're some knight in shining armor or something?"

He chuckles at your words. "Nothing like that. Just want to make sure a pretty girl doesn't get taken advantage of or hurt herself because she didn't have someone to help her learn how to drink" Y/N smiles kindly at him as she accepts his offer.

Maybe she could get over Hyunjin...

It had been a little over an hour and Jungkook being the nice guy he was, he didn’t leave Y/N’s side.

The room no longer spun as she and Jungkook talked about everything and nothing at all. Y/N regretted not being a couple of years older, losing any chance to get with him when she told him her age, and as much as she wanted to forget about him; Hyunjin and his little friend wouldn't leave her mind. What were they doing? She wondered. Who was she? His new girlfriend?

Jungkook playfully taps the rim of his cup on her forehead. "You still in there?" He questions with a chuckle. Y/N smiled as she rolled her eyes at him. "I'm sober now, you know?" She replied brushing over her spacing out. Jungkook raises his eyebrow in amusement "Really? Wanna take a couple tests to prove it?" Jungkook questions with a smirk as he rests his arm across the back of the couch adjusting himself to face her. His free hand reaches out for her chin taking it between his forefinger and thumb as he examines her features. Y/N gives him a look saying 'Are you serious?'

Jungkook nods at her, smiles, and brings his hand down as he notices her relaxed state. "Not completely sober but tipsy, so that's better than before," he says calmly. Y/N was about to say something when someone sat between her and Jungkook. Y/N's eyes widen as she recognizes her best friend, who sloppily leans on her shoulder.

"Baby..." Hyunjin whined as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Y/N sighs as she's greeted by the strong scent of liquor. "Hey, Jinnie..." she coos soothingly. Hyunjin's face lights up as she rubs his back. She gives Jungkook an apologetic look and he gives her a reassuring smile as he lifts his beer toward her before taking a sip. Y/N giggles at his gesture and Hyunjin looks between the pair. His eyes burned holes into Y/N's cheek. "Who's he?" Hyunjin slurs before leaning into Jungkook's face "Who are you?" he questions, a hint of bitterness in his tone. Y/N grabs Hyunjin's sleeve tugging him out of Jungkook's face.

"Sorry, Jungkook oppa...This drunkard is my best friend" Y/N apologizes as she gives Hyunjin a warning look, who stares back at her with a look of disgust as he feels jealousy filling his stomach. "Oppa? Since when have you known each other?" He questions, his tone laced with annoyance. Jungkook answered him this time, "Met Y/N earlier tonight, She was....experimenting and it backfired" He chuckles.

"Was I talking to you?" Hyunjin questions as he gives Jungkook an annoyed look. Jungkook's eyebrows raise in amusement "You're talking about me and in my vicinity, Best Friend Hyunjin" Jungkook's tone is playful and sarcastic as he begins to find amusement in Hyunjin's reactions seeing how red his face turns. Hyunjin scowls at Jungkook as he goes to stand up before Y/N grabs the sleeve of his hoodie.

"Sit." She grits. Hyunjin gives her a look of disbelief, his mouth hanging open partially. "But bab--" Y/N holds her hand up, cutting off his words. "No, apologize...he's our sunbae and he helped me out a lot tonight" Y/N explains. "You're drunk, Jinnie..." She gives him a look of concern as she caresses his cheek lovingly. Hyunjin leans into her touch for a moment before nodding, with a guilty pout. He turns to Jungkook, bowing politely "I'm sorry, I-I've been drinking and I was rude..." He mutters reluctantly. Jungkook gives him a reassuring smile "Don't worry about it, I've done way worse"

"You want me to bring you home, Jinnie?" Y/N asks worriedly as Hyunjin reaches for her hand, taking it into his as he leans on her shoulder and begins to play with her fingers, trying to stop the room from spinning. So cute...Y/N thinks as he pouts as he tries to snuggle into her. "Come on, Let me bring you home." She coos as she stands up. Jungkook helps lift Hyunjin off the couch and escorts him outside. "Y/N, you aren't driving right?" Jungkook questions worriedly. She shakes her head, "No, thank god our share-house is only a 5-minute walk so I didn't drive." She states as the crisp autumn air kisses her skin. Jungkook sighs in relief "You need me to help get him there?"

"No, trust me I'll be fine"

Jungkook doesn't protest as he leans Hyunjin back against her and she lifts his arm over her shoulder. Hyunjin immediately wraps one of his arms around her waist pressing his chest against her back, his other arm wraps around her shoulders and he nuzzles his nose against her temple. "Hmmmnnn..." He sighs "So pretty...."

"Thanks, Jinnie but lets get home, 'kay?"

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Hyunjin questions as he continues to cling to her; making their walk a lot harder than it needed to be. Y/N shakes her head "I don't have to report to you, but I also didn't even know I was coming until I just did" She shrugs.

"I would have come with you. we could've had f-fun together though baby...I wouldn't--i wouldn't feel so worried...right now" He slurs as he tightens his grip on her waist. Y/N raises her eyebrow "Worried? Why?" Hyunjin just shakes his head "You don't get it... you won't understand..." He whines his voice cracking as he rests his head against the back of hers.

"When don't i understand you?"

"Always! you always ignore everything I'm trying to do and think I do things for stupid reasons like because I'm your best friend!" Hyunjin shouts. Y/N feels surprised at his declaration as she tries to hold onto his arm. "What are you talking about?" She questions as she feels him rest his chin on the top of her head. "hey! I'm not your crutch stop, you're heavy" Hyunjin ignores her as he stops their movements hugging her tight.

"Why did you have to be with that guy? Why not me?"

"Jinnie, what are you talking about?"

"That guy! Why were you with him? How long have you known him? Is he your boyfriend now? He's not, right?" Hyunjin slurs his voice full of worry as his grasp on her tightens. Y/N shakes her head "No? I just met him, I drank too much and he helped me sober up. Besides Jungkook oppa isn't interested in a minor, he's 5 years older than us" She retorts. Hyunjin lets out a sigh of relief as he loosens his grip on her and leans in kissing her temple. "Good...you should be mine. Not anyone else's" He mumbles into the kiss.

"God, how much did you have to drink?" Y/N questions. "Not a lot in the beginning..." Hyunjin slurs and Y/N raises her eyebrow, turning her head so she can face him. Her cheeks heat up as the corners of their lips touch and she pulls away slightly.

"And after the beginning?" She asks her voice laced with concern.

Hyunjin hangs his head "I was gonna pace myself, I know I should b-but--why were you with him?" He asks again cutting off his own explanation due to his intoxication. Y/N felt unease settle in her stomach and a subtle sense of guilt. "I just told your drunk ass that I drank too much earlier...Thank god I'm sober enough for this right now" Y/N groans as she tries to get Hyunjin to continue walking but he stands his ground and holds her in place. "Why were you all over him then?" He questions, pain and jealousy laced in his tone.

"I was drunk...you're all over me right?"

"I could be..."

"You are...." Y/N rolls her eyes at his ignorance. "No...not the way I wanna be...can I show you?" He whispers as he presses himself against her. Y/N goes to turn to look at him to scold him, his hand moves from her waist to her cheek as he leans in and presses his soft lips against hers. Y/N's eyes widen as she freezes, Hyunjin's eyes flutter closed as he groans against her lips. She hesitantly responds to his kiss, letting her lips move against his for a moment. She felt her heart swell as he kissed her deeper his tongue brushing over the entrance to her mouth. Y/N goes to pull away, her sobriety making everything seem way too overwhelming.

"No.." Hyunjin whines as his lips chase hers and he turns her around so she is facing him. "Taste so good...don't make me stop" He slurs. His drunken state is more obvious and Y/N can pry herself away from him. "You have to. I need to get you home and you're being a pain" Y/N pouts as she takes his hands in hers comfortingly. Trying to brush over his previous actions, her heart raced a mile a minute as he furrowed his eyebrows. His angelic features looked completely flushed and she felt her guilt grow stronger.

"Kiss me..." Hyunjin whines as he takes his hands from hers and holds her face as he leans in, brushing his lips over hers. Y/N leans back and hurt flashes across Hyunjin's face. "You're drunk..." Y/N reasons as she grabs his wrist finally able to get him to start walking back to the sharehouse. "So?" He questions with a pout.

"I'm not kissing you when you're drunk..."

"I'm not a girl..."

"Being a guy doesn't make it consensual, especially not when you're this drunk. you still don't have a solid mind to consent to anything so don't make me a pervert."

"You just did..." He murmurs as he trudges behind you. Y/N sighs in frustration at his brattiness. "You kissed me, which I will be overlooking because you're what?...say it with me here, Drunk" Y/N jokes but it sends a painful shock straight to Hyunjin's heart.

"So if I kissed you sober? Will you stop me then?"

Y/N freezes for a moment. Her face heated up. "You won't..."

"I want to..." Hyunjin confesses as he reaches out to caress her hip. “If I try to, will you let me?" Y/N raises her eyebrow in amusement. "You'll have to try and see..." she replies, trying to sound nonchalant but flirty. Hyunjin leans over her shoulder, his lips brushing against the shell of her ear.

"You think I won't?"

"You've never shown interest in doing it before," Y/N giggles, trying to lighten the mood as she grows nervous. Hyunjin scoffs, "That's a lie. We kissed at Nam Hyunjoo's party." A look of frustration sits on Hyunjin's features as Y/N shakes her head.

"That was 4 years ago, Jinnie, and a dare" She retorts as she sighs in relief as they finally walk through the gate of the share house. Hyunjin trudges behind her "It doesn't matter it happened..."

"Yeah, Yeah. go to bed" Y/N waves him off as they enter the house. Walking toward the couch she sits down allowing her muscles to finally relax; her head rests against the headrest. Hyunjin places both of his hands on the back of the couch as he leans over her "Stop doing that, Let me kiss you now" He whines as he leans in closer and Y/N leans forward for a moment brushing her lips over his teasingly before shoving him back by his shoulders and gets off the couch opting to escape to the sanctity of her bedroom.

"Sober up first" She states with a wink as she disappears up the stairs.

Y/N thanked GOD that Jungkook helped her out the night before, completely avoiding a hangover and being able to make it for her shift today. The fast-paced environment of the diner on a Saturday morning, the hectic and ridiculous amount of tickets, and not enough coffee to go around. But even in the chaos, Y/N finds herself grateful to find her mind occupied with something other than Hyunjin like it had been for the past 12 hours. She didn't sleep a wink, her heart in her stomach from the moment she went upstairs.

The ghost of his lips lingered on hers. She had a hard time remaining in her room and not taking care of her best friend, but his persistence in her kissing him made her feel butterflies rise in her stomach. She had a hard time accepting how much she enjoyed it, it was Hyunjin; He was her best friend. They'd kissed before, how could it feel so different when he kissed her this time? How could everything be such a mess? She had drifted off into a restless slumber in and out throughout the night until she had to get up for work at 4:30 am.

From the moment she opened the doors, she no longer had time to think about anything but breakfast items and coffee orders. As it began to slow down, she heard the familiar chime from the bell. She greets the customer as she wipes down the counter. "Take a seat anywhere.." She instructs them kindly as she turns around and is greeted with a familiar face. Jungkook stands there with an amused smile and another guy next to him pats his shoulder as he walks toward the bar. Y/N sighs as Jungkook presses the bell, she notices him leaning over on his elbow and he waves playfully giving her a teasing look.

Grabbing a coffee pot she walks over to the pair, a service smile on her lips as she stands in front of them. "How can I help you today?" She asks, professionalism laced in her tone. Jungkook smirks and raises his eyebrow "Half a cup of vodka" He teases. Licking her lips, Y/N looks around for her boss. "Go fuck yourself" she retorts when she doesn't see him nearby.

Jungkook places his hand over his chest as he scoffs in faux offense "And here I came to check on you and everything..."

"No, you didn't. you literally said you were gonna harass me at my job last night"

"Damn, thought you'd be too drunk to remember" Jungkook chuckles as his friend scrolls on his phone completely uninterested in the conversation. "Speaking of being too drunk to remember, You have a hard time with your friend?" Jungkook asks as he flips the mug in front of his friend and himself over and gestures for her to give them coffee. Y/N complies filling both of the mugs as she shakes her head trying to avoid talking about Hyunjin too much. "Nah, it's not the first time he's been blacked out. Kinda always his caretaker" She shrugs. "Are you gonna eat too?" She asks as she pulls her pad out of her apron, clicking the pen. Jungkook raises his eyebrow "Is it free?"

"Broke College student meet broke highschooler" Y/N snorts as she waves her hand in front of her, gesturing toward herself. Jungkook rolls his eyes before scanning over the menu placed in front of him.

"Can i get a bacon egg and cheese bagel?" Jungkooks friend asks and Jungkook nods along with him. Y/N writes their order and goes to enter it in the POS. She feels a tap on her shoulder and turns to see her manager standing there. "Sir?" She questions puzzled.

"Go on your 30 after you put it in, Hera's gonna cover you" He states calmly before turning away from her. Not needing any more instruction you quickly finish entering Jungkook's order and clock out for your break. Walking toward the break room, she stops in front of the lockers grabs her phone, and walks out the back door to get fresh air. Turning her phone on it comes to life with messages from Hyunjin.

Y/N felt her cheeks turn a bright scarlet as she read the pet name. How could such a simple request make her heart race so much? How could she be feeling so excited to go home now? The memory of their kiss lingers in her mind. Brushing her fingers over her lips for a moment before she realizes her behavior. Her eyes widen as she quickly brings her hand away from her lips.

Oh Fuck....She likes Hyunjin.....

Y/N didn't know how to handle her epiphany.

The more she spent with him, the more her feelings seemed to blossom. She felt her eyes searching for him and her heart racing faster when he called her name. Even when the school year started she figured her heart would finally settle now that they were in separate classes and they would only see each other in passing due to her cram school. But she should have realized how persistent her best friend could be, he and Li-Rin rarely got along besides a few tipsy interactions and taking care of the other hungover self until Y/N was available to take over. To say she was surprised to see the pair now getting along swimmingly would be an understatement.

Due to Li-Rin's budding friendship with him, Hyunjin no longer breaks away during lunch and would come with Li-Rin to hang out with them. Every once in a while, he and his friends would disappear for who knew what and Y/N would finally gain the ability to breathe again. She sometimes dreaded these days when Hyunjin needed to be extra clingy before going to his class in the morning. How should she keep trying to play things off how she normally would? For years she would have brushed off his flirty remarks and clingy actions but now she found herself reciprocating. She knew how dangerous this could be, how crossing the line with him beyond a drunken kiss and flirty words could ruin everything they'd built over the years. But as the weeks continued to go by she found herself not caring as much as she once had.

She finds herself feeling more and more eager at the idea of giving in to her emotions and just confessing to Hyunjin. What could be the harm? He was her best friend for a reason. They understood each other on a level no one else could reach. "Y/N, Li-Rin" Hari calls the pair over as they look around the cafeteria. Y/N smiled feeling a sense of relief as she didn't see Hyunjin and his group of friends seated at the table. Walking over to where Hari was seated, Y/N smiled at the 3 other girls who gave her a friendly wave. "Y/N, Hyunjin finally let you off the leash?" Sol-i teases as Y/N sits beside her. Rolling her eyes Y/N chuckles softly "So I'm a dog now?" She raises her eyebrow. Hari giggles as she joins in on the teasing "I mean with the way you two cling to each other you'd think they're married" The girls laugh at the joke.

Y/N feigns disgust "You realize he's just my best friend right?"

"Is that why you guys made out at the party Friday?" Hari questions with her eyebrow raised and Y/N feels her heart drop into her stomach.

"What? What are you talking about?"

Hari rolls her eyes as she leans in closer "I saw you guys, completely sucking face right down the street from Felix's place" She giggles and Y/N's eyes widen as she begins to stammer in a panic "W-what? N-No. No, it wasn't--we weren't sucking face it was just a kiss." The girls gasped "So, it's true?" Li-Rin questions, an unfamiliar look on her expression. Y/N looks at her for a moment "Hyunjin was blackout and feeling clingy so he kissed me. But it was just a stupid kiss, that Hyunjin probably doesn't even remember so it doesn't matter." She argues trying to change the subject. "You guys should totally go out, you guys would be cute" Aera comments cheekily. Y/N groaned in response as she hid her face in her hands.

"Can I just die right now?"

"Why? Because you LOOOVVEE him?" Sol-i teases.

"No, because you guys are embarrassing" Y/N states as she softly throws a fry at her. "Don't get mad at me because you like him"

"N-No, I don't" Y/N lies, trying to keep her feelings private while she tries to work them out. However, She feels a real relationship could possibly work out with Hyunjin. She wouldn't want to ruin any chance she had by involving her caring and loving but nosy friends in the mix. Y/N felt herself grow anxious as Ji-Rin's face lights up at her refusal. "You don't?" Ji-Rin asks her eagerness for the same answer evident and Y/N complies. "N-Not like that. H-He was drunk so..."

"Good." Ji-Rin sighs placing her hand over her chest as if she's relieved. "So, what's everyone gonna do tonight wanna study at my place." She asks trying to change the subject, Hari's eyebrow raises and the other four's eyes meet each other as they feel an awkward tension settle over the group.

Before Hari speaks up "Nah, put that shit in reverse and park it. The fuck do you mean good?" She challenges. Ji-Rin gives her a puzzled look "What do you mean?" she questions with a confused pout her head tilting to the left side slightly.

"What I just said. What do you mean good? Do you like Hyunjin or something?" Hari asks with shock and a defensive tone. Ji-Rin smiles giddily as she covers her face with her hands. "Maybe~" Ji-Rin replies "Kinda..." Hari scoffs and crosses her arms over her chest as she goes to say something to her, Y/N kicks Hari under the table as she notices Hyunjin and his friends making their way over to their table. "But--" Hari tries to argue, and Y/N turns her head away from Hari "Not the time."

"This looks intense." Hyunjin's friend, Jisung comments as he raises his eyebrow in amusement. Y/N gives him a kind smile "No, Missy, why do you look so grumpy" Jisung questions as he ruffles her hair and sits beside her and the rest of the guys go to sit down. Hyunjin stands behind Jisung with his eyebrows furrowed as he stares between the pair, jealousy fills his stomach. "Hyunjin, there's a seat here" Li-Rin calls him gesturing for him to sit beside her, his mouth hung open for a moment wanting to protest but in the end, he slumped his shoulders and trudged over to the seat beside Li-Rin. He grumbles something under his breath toward her and she rubs his arm comfortingly as she whispers something to him and he nods with a sad pout.

An uncomfortable feeling fills Y/N's stomach as she stares at the pair, when did they get so close? Hyunjin said they had gotten along a little easier after Y/N had left her to watch him; but could things have gone further than a friendly understanding being built? Y/N tried to focus on the conversation Jisung had dragged her into but with Li-Rin's previous confession, Y/N could not drag her eyes off the pair. She felt betrayed, how could Li-rin do this to her? No matter how often Y/N denied it, there was a reason the girls always made jokes about her and Hyunjin being together. Li-Rin could see her closeness with Hyunjin, even if she didn't have feelings for him, liking Hyunjin would be crossing the line for any of her friends and they knew this.

Li-Rin was a newer addition to the group, Y/N had met her in her first year and they quickly hit it off. Y/N's longest female friend, Hari, always held a small dislike for Li-Rin. Sol-i and Aera held a neutral stance never showing her disdain but also never getting too close to her. Y/N was the one who trusted her wholeheartedly and accepted her.

how could she like Hyunjin?

Was she messing with her? She had to be. It had to be a joke. How could Y/N confess to him if her friend likes him? That would be so cruel to Li-Rin, no matter the line crossed Y/N wouldn't stand in her friend's happiness. Li-Rin didn't choose who to like, these things just happen. If anyone understood that it was Y/N, but why did it have to be now? Why couldn't it be last year? Long before Y/N really understood how she felt about him and she wouldn't feel like she's being a terrible person if she were to confess. Now that she knew Li-Rin liked Hyunjin, Y/N felt panicked as she watched the way he smiled at her while they talked. While he kept a small distance between himself and her, Y/N could see some form of a connection built between the pair. It left her unsettled as one question lingered on her mind.

Does Hyunjin like her too?

Y/N felt herself panicking during her cram school.

Hyunjin went to study with Li-Rin and Jisung. She felt herself growing nauseous at Li-Rin confessing before Y/N could talk to her about her expose at lunch. She watched the clock as the time continued to drag on. It felt like an eternity as she watched the clock a minute away from 10:30 pm.

As soon as her cram school ended, Y/N quickly made her way to the bus stop and pulls out her phone to text Li-Rin.

As she reads Li-Rins last message, Y/N feels her heart sink into her stomach and she drops her phone as if the device had burned her. Looking around in embarrassment hoping no one saw her, she quickly grabs her phone off the ground in front of her as the bus pulls up and she gets on. Walking toward the back of the bus she sits in a seat in the second to last row, leaning against the window her mind races,

What did she say?

Y/N read the message over and over again, hoping it would change. She felt bile rise in her throat as she contemplated what to reply. She wasn't sure what to do. How should she respond? What could she do? Was being a good friend saying yes? She wasn't sure if she even wanted to. How could she set the guy she likes up with anyone, let alone her friend? She felt tears prick her eyes as she struggled to find an answer as she felt someone tug on a strand of her hair.

Chalking it up to an accident Y/N stares out the window at the bright lights of the city. She almost loses herself in her emotions when she feels the person behind her tug on a strand of her hair again. Feeling irritation swell in her gut she turns around to cuss out the person. "The hell is your--Jungkook Oppa?" She questions her eyebrows scrunching together in confusion as the older male sat there with a mischievous smirk. "Finally you notice me. You know you're quite elusive" He comments with a chuckle. "I tried to say hi when you sat down but I don't think you heard or saw me"

"And you thought harassment was a good way to get my attention?"

"It's fun to annoy you. You look like crap though what's up?"

Y/N rolls her eyes at his comment "Cram school. Why do you always seem to piss me off every time I see you?" Jungkook shrugs as he shifts to sit next to her. "What's up though? Cram school sucks but it doesn't usually make you cry." He questions worriedly. Y/N crosses her arms over her chest and shrugs. "Nothing...Just stupid stuff I guess." She groans. Jungkook shakes his head "Every problem seems like the end of the world at your age but if you talk to someone older they usually seem small" He tries to convince her to open up as he bumps her shoulder with his.

Feeling her resolve crumble to dust, Y/N rambles "Ugh, It's nothing--just you remember my best friend?"

"Vividly"

"Well, my friend said she might like him and ever since the night of the party I've been freaking out because he kissed me and I liked it" She states as her speaking speeds up slightly "But I never used to like him like that before so I wouldn't have cared if my friend liked him before but now I do like him so I do care that my friend likes him" Jungkook stares at you blankly. "Jesus fuck I think you gave me a stroke trying to keep up with all of that" Jungkook jokes as he rubs his temples. "So what you're saying is you and your friend both like Hyunjin?"

"Yeah..."

"Okay? and why is that your problem?" Jungkook asks seriously raising his eyebrow. Y/N's eyebrows furrow in confusion "What do you mean? We both like the same guy, that's wrong..."

"Who told you that?" Jungkook questions with a puzzled look on his face. Y/N stares at him dumbfounded and he sighs "Look kid, there's nothing wrong with you both liking the same guy. It's how you both handle it that will determine if it's wrong to like him or not. Does she know you like him?" Y/N shakes her head "She asked me but I just figured out how I feel so I told her no, but it's cause I thought I would have time to figure out what to do"

"Then you can't be mad at her for anything. You lied so you should fix that first, then you should tell him how you feel and let him determine who he wants to be with before you girls go fighting each other." Jungkook advises.

"She asked me to help her go out with him....am I a bad friend if I don't do it?"

"You are if you lie to her about it" Jungkook shrugs as he sighs "To be 16 and only worry about stupid shit like this again" He states in a wishful tone. "You aren't that much older than me" Y/N comments. Jungkook lifts his hand placing his index finger over her lips as he closes his eyes "Shhhhh....I'm reminiscing"

"Well, Ahjussi, you said you went to Seoul national and lived on campus right?"

"Uh-huh, why?"

"Cause we're driving past it" Y/N points out the window and Jungkooks eyes snap open as he jumps up from his seat staring out the window before he pushes the button signaling a stop and it pulls to the side of the road when it can. Y/N stifles a laugh as she covers her mouth with the back of her hand. "You're embarrassing Oppa" she comments.

"Shut up! but remember what I said" Jungkook waves her off as he rushes off the bus.

Jungkook was right....

It was childish to expect for friends to not eventually like the same person one day. It's a normal obstacle while growing up and people can't control who they develop feelings for. Is what Y/N told herself, but for the past two days every time she saw Li-Rin and Hyunjin together; she wanted to put her head through a wall. It didn't help they were paired up for a project in their class and the time they had spent together doubled as Y/N's time with him dwindled more and more.

While she still occasionally was able to hang out with him in the mornings and at lunch, something felt different about their interactions. They were distant and withdrawn and it felt odd. Y/N wasn't used to not having her best friend cling to her. But for the past few days, she couldn't remember the last time Hyunjin had any physical contact with her. Y/N found herself drifting off into thought as she sat at a table in the library, Li-Rin asked her to study with her earlier in the day and Y/N felt the need to talk to her about her request.

Y/N struggled to find a way to bring it up. How do these types of things usually go? What was it Jungkook said again? She contemplated as her mind went a mile a minute. Honesty. start with honesty she sighs to herself.

"Li-Rin...." She gasps. And the girl perks up lifting her eyes from the textbook "What's up hun?" Li-Rin gives her an innocent expression as Y/N feels her heart sink into her ass. "Uh, S-so you remember what we talked about the other day?" Li-Rin gives her a confused look "What? Hyunjin?"

Y/N nods "Well i wasnt exactly honest with you guys"

Li-Rin shrugs "Kinda figured..."

Y/N looks at her lap in shame "I'm sorry but I don't feel comfortable setting you up with Hyunjin." Li-Rin's eyes widen in surprise "Woah! no it's fine, we already talked and are hanging out alone Friday and stuff" She confesses almost as if she is rambling. Y/N feels her heart stop "Oh? Y-You confessed?"

Li-Rin looks around, a look of panic on her features. "Uh--Y-Yeah...sort of..." She states as she nervously looks down at her textbook, mumbling something under her breath. Y/N's blood runs cold "O-Oh..." she stutters as she bites her lips hesitantly.

Li-Rin looks at her apologetically "Y/N..--Don't let this get in the way of our friendship okay?" Y/N cuts her off as she chokes back her sadness and gives her friend a reassuring smile. "You said you sort of confessed so, I'll take a step back and if he officially says yes to you then I will work on moving on." Li-Rin feels guilt eating away at her. "I'm so sorry, Y/N..."

"Don't be. If he says no to you, then I'm gonna confess...it won't be right after and I'll be there for you wholeheartedly, and you'll still feel complete support from me no matter what okay? But I do think that, if he says no to you, then I deserve to have a chance to see if something could work out between us.....because with our history I really think it can..." Y/N confesses. "So, I'm going to be a bad friend for this one time and this one time only, because you surprising me with your feelings like that wasn't fair, I hope things don't go as you planned and whatever you plan on doing a bird poops on your head while your confessing and he laughs"

Li-Rin gives her a bewildered expression "A-are you alright in the head? You want a bird to poop on me when I confess? What if I'm inside?" Li-rin questions teasingly.

"Then I hope you fall....wait no that's mean no I don't. umm" Y/N struggles to think of something bad enough that she could laugh at her friend but not too bad she could be hurt. "I hope you pee yourself" Y/N exclaims excitedly. "Shhh" The librarian whispers in her direction and Y/N hides her face in her textbook as Li-Rin stifles a laugh.

“You’re an idiot”

Y/N felt her face fall at Hyunjin's obvious anger toward her. It had been two weeks since Y/N and Li-Rin had talked. while Y/N wanted to support her two friends' budding relationship, she felt nauseous and annoyed whenever Li-Rin and Hyunjin appeared together. Why not me? She'd wonder Why couldn't it be me? She felt guilt rising in her stomach. She had been avoiding him for longer, something about this year had changed her. Y/N didn't understand, before the idea of not talking to Hyunjin would be painful but since she had spoken to Li-Rin; talking to him hurt the most.

How was she supposed to move on? How could she be with someone else when, to Y/N, no one else could compare?

She couldn't handle it, and in the nature of honesty, she had kept her feelings for him to herself. Though every day she felt herself struggling to refrain from just marching into his bedroom and confessing. A snap in front of her pulls her out of her thoughts. "Polynomials are frustrating but not that much, which means you're not paying attention so you owe me 5 bucks" Jungkook states sarcastically. Y/N's eyes widen "5 bucks?! We agreed on a dollar"

"You weren't paying attention for 5 minutes"

Y/N gives him a look of disbelief "You took my job! You should know I'm broke." she exclaims. Jungkook shakes his head as he wipes the counter, raising an eyebrow at her "I'm literally working, tutoring you, and reading your texts at the same time" Her mouth hangs open as she goes to argue and Jungkook places his finger in front of her lips. "Shhh. Thank you, Jungkook"

"For what? Being nosy?"

"Being smarter than you"

Y/N rolls her eyes as Jungkook gives her a knowing look. "Don't okay? Hyunjin and I aren't your business" Jungkook snorts as he tosses the rag over his shoulder. Leaning back against the prep line "From where I'm standing there is no Hyunjin and you." Y/N shakes her head as she lifts her math textbook. "Not what we're supposed to be focusing on" She states as she gives the book a gentle tap on the counter. "You got distracted first" Jungkook puts his hands up in surrender. Y/N sits there, staring up at him expectantly and Jungkook raises his eyebrow "What?" he asks crossing his arms.

"Come on out with it..."

"Out with what?"

Y/N gives him a look saying 'Are you serious' with a tilt of her head. "I can literally see you trying not to combust. Holding back from just giving me advice because you know you're too damn nosy" Jungkook scoffs holding his chest in offense. "First of all missy, I'll have you know that you should feel lucky I care enough about you to be nosy." he narrows his eyes. "Oh thank you, I'll appreciate all the gold produced from your touch...."Y/N mocks. She jumps in surprise as she feels a sharp sting on her forehead as Jungkook retracts his hand away from her face. "Did you just flick me?" She exclaims.

"Anyway, why are you here with me, studying math when you could be with the guy you're in love with?"

"Because you'd miss me too much" Y/N smiles and Jungkook rolls his eyes "As much as I appreciate your presence, soul-sibling, I've known you for like 4 months at best and even I know that's bullshit" Y/N groans and covers her face in her hands. "Ugh, I just don't want to see him all over Li-Rin." Jungkook shakes his head giving her a disapproving look "If it was gonna bother you this much then you shouldn't have told her you'd support her if she confessed"

"You act like I knew it would bother me this much!"

"Is that why you haven't clarified our actual relationship to him?" Jungkook raises his eyebrow. "I'll tell him..."Y/N trails. It was Jungkook's turn to give a look of 'Are you serious?' "When? When he and Li-Rin stop hanging out?" Jungkook quips and Y/N smirks "Exactly"

"Bullshit! You're a minor that shit aint happening with my name"

"I'm kidding, Jesus old man take a joke." Y/N scoffs as she closes up her textbooks. Jungkook gives her a stern look "Clarify it or stop coming around me" Y/N's mouth hangs open in disbelief and Jungkook shakes his head in response "Don't give me that look missy. You not clarifying that we only see each other in a sibling way, makes me seem like a pervert." Y/N furrows her eyebrows in frustration "Can't I just make him jealous a little bit? I never insinuated that we like each other"

"No. I'm a fucking adult, Y/N. That's petty kid shit and honestly, you're above it too. You told Li-Rin you'd support her so keep your word or go to her and tell her how you are feeling about it." Jungkook shuts down her suggestion firmly but his tone held a caring concern. "Why do you have to be so annoying?" Y/N scoffs. Jungkook's eyebrow raises "Because I'm right?"

"Yes..." Y/N grumbled as she rested her chin on her hand looking away from Jungkook. "Stop avoiding your best friend too. It's stupid and gonna hurt his feelings. You already hurt him and pissed him off. Do you want to do more damage?" Jungkook lectures and Y/N rolls her eyes. "You do know you're not my real brother, right?"

"Really? You harass me like you're my sister though?" Jungkook scoffs as he shrugs "I mean, it's nothing for me to turn the register back on and cash this out"

"Okay, raising the white flag...hurry up so you can bring me home" Y/N raises her hands in surrender as she gestures for him to mop the kitchen. Jungkook rolls his eyes and shakes his head grabbing the mop

"I should've called out..."

One second....All it takes is one second for a calm peaceful day to turn into a storm.

Y/N sat in Jungkook's passenger seat feeling her drowsiness kicking in as he drove onto her street. The radio was playing some random playlist from Jungkook's phone, but Y/N felt herself finally relaxing for the first time in a while. Her mind sat free of worries and stress as she stared out the window. She felt excited as Jungkook pulled into the driveway. "wow you weren't lying..." Jungkook quips as he parked the car. "You really run a share house with your parents?"

"They come to manage it but they live like 10 minutes away in the same town as Hyunjin's parents. I usually decide residents after background checks since I live here and right now it's just me and Hyunjin and one other guy that's like always at work but he cleans up after himself and doesn't bother anyone so"

Jungkook shrugs as he nods "Want another tenant?"

"And live with 3 guys? I'd rather you hit me with your car." Y/N retorts. As the pair hears a knock on the passenger window, Y/N jumps in surprise. She turns to see an upset-looking Hyunjin peering into the car and she opens the door slightly. "Jinnie?" She questions "What's up?"

"Who is he?" Hyunjin asks as he stares directly at Y/N accusingly and she raises her eyebrow in confusion. "I'm Jungkook, we act--Was I talking to you?" Hyunjin cuts him off and Jungkook snorts "We've gotta stop meeting like this Hyunjin." Hyunjin narrows his eyes at Jungkook as he raises his eyebrow at him "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm not fighting a child. I'll see you tomorrow, Y/N" Jungkook waves Hyunjin off as he holds out his fist for Y/N, who returns his fist bump and exits the car. Y/N stands there as Jungkook drives off and gives him a wave. Hearing a scoff from behind her she rolls her eyes and turns to her best friend. "Jinnie,--no. I'm pissed right now. like are you dumb or just oblivious?" He cuts her off and Y/N stares at him confused. "Hyunjin, what are you talking about?" A figure sitting on the stairs draws her attention, Li-Rin gives her a guilty smile and waves and Y/N looks back at Hyunjin even more confused. Why was Li-Rin here?

"Why are you spending so much time with that guy?" Hyunjin questions. "Like, can you not see that it's bothering me? How long do I have to sit there and just deal with this shit? What do I have to do to get you to look at me? Be your best friend? Support you in everything? kiss you? Oh wait, I've done every single one of those things, and still! still, I'm not enough for you? What is it going to fucking take, Y/N seriously" His voice growing more and more erratic as he stares at her with desperation on his features. Y/N feels her heart race at his rant, what does this mean?

"J-Jinnie...I didn't realize it was bothering you so much. but I don't know w-where this is coming from..." Y/N trails "You're more than enough for me. I don't understand?" Hyunjin groans in frustration "Can you seriously not tell I like you?" Y/N feels butterflies in her stomach her eyes widen and her cheeks turn a bright scarlet, but just as soon as she feels her excitement, guilt replaces it. Her eyes drift over to Li-Rin and she feels Hyunjin's hands encase her arms "Fuck Li-Rin..I'm talking to you!"

"Wow...Thanks dude" Li-Rin retorts sarcastically.

"You know what I mean!" Hyunjin snaps at her "Why are you still here?"

"Jisungie told me to be nosy" Li-Rin quips as she leans back on her hands. Y/N stares at them puzzled. As Hyunjin turns to her "Go home. It backfired and I'm not in the mood right now." Y/N furrows her eyebrows as her ears perk up. "What backfired?" She questioned as she stared at the pair. "Nothing...Li-Rin just agreed to help me and it didn't work" Hyunjin grits as he scowls at Li-Rin who scoffs "It was a stupid plan. How am I supposed to pretend to have a crush on you when I'm dating your friend?"

"Jisung did fine...." Hyunjin argued.

Y/N feels like a bucket of ice was poured over her head. Li-Rin pretended to have a crush on Hyunjin? To help him? Y/N couldn't help the feeling of betrayal that welled up in her chest. Tears burned in her eyes "Y-You guys made a plan?" She questioned in disbelief, her voice just above a whisper. Hyunjin looks at her with guilt in his eyes "I-It wasn't anything bad I promise you...I just wanted to know if you felt the same way" Y/N ignores him and stares at Li-Rin "Am I a joke to you?" taking a couple of steps so she is directly in front of Li-Rin and Hyunjin grasps Y/N's arm pulling her slightly back "Its not her fault..." Y/N shoves his hand off her as she steps back in front of Li-Rin and nods waiting for Li-Rin to answer.

"Of course, you're not a joke to me..."

"So you're expecting it correct?" Y/N asks and Li-Rin nods. Y/N brings her hand across Li-Rin's cheek harshly. "Y/N?!" Hyunjin exclaims in shock as he pulls her back from Li-Rin, who stands up and waves him off "Don't.....I deserved that" Hyunjin shakes his head "No, this is my fault I'm the one that asked for help" He argues to Y/N. Y/N looks away from him as she rolls her eyes "She's a big girl that can make her own decisions." Li-Rin nods as she pats Hyunjin on the shoulder. "See you tomorrow, Y/N" She waves as she walks down the street.

Hyunjin and Y/N stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity before anyone spoke. "Baby,--oh you thought you were pissed." Y/N cut him off and Hyunjin's body deflats. "You manipulated me..."

Hyunjin's eyes widen in a panic "N-No, it wasn't like that I swear" He stammers as he steps closer to her. His heart sinks as she takes a step back "Y/N..." She sighs at the dejected tone in his voice. "Jinnie, Just-just give me a second okay?" she states as she takes a deep calming breath. "Can I ask why you couldn't just talk to me?"

"You always think I'm joking or drunk or bored.." Hyunjin pouts. "How could I ask if you liked me like that? You always said I'm your best friend so I never thought you'd look at me like that" Y/N sighs as she rubs her hand over her face. "We're dumbasses....just straight-up fools I swear" She mutters, and Hyunjin raises his eyebrow in confusion "Huh?" "Nothing, we just both are stupid people who forget the other is our soulmate. Jinnie, of course, I like you that way, how could I not? You're literally everything I would want in a guy" She confesses as she goes to walk inside to bring the conversation out of the cold before it dawns on her "Hold on," She points as she turns back to Hyunjin with a quizzical look "You said I always think you're drunk or joking" a panicked expression flashes across Hyunjin's face.

"You were drunk that night right?"

"I--Well, you see what had happened was..." Hyunjin trails and Y/N's mouth hangs open as she closes the front door. "Nope, you stay in the cold until the conversation is over now. Hwang Hyunjin, I swear to god if you made me basically carry you home and you were almost completely sober I'm telling you now that I will disown you" Hyunjin shakes his head "Was tipsy at best I promise" He puts his hands up in surrender. "Wasn't as drunk as I made it seem 'cause I wanted to kiss you and you always let me when I'm drunk" Hyunjin explains cautiously. Y/N rolls her eyes at him "So you're manipulative? You realize that's a giant red flag right?"

Hyunjin nods "I'll be color blind if you do..."

"You already know, basically born that way" Y/N jokes with a shrug and Hyunjin rolls his eyes at her as he wraps his arms around her waist. "So, we are like, dating now right?" Hyunjin asks as he rests his chin on her shoulder. Y/N shrugs as she doesn't respond pretending to contemplate her answer. "Babyy~" Hyunjin whines as he begins placing soft pecks along her neck. "Don't torture me" Y/N shakes her head and turns around wrapping her arms around his neck "So don't ask a stupid question" She retorts as she scrunches her nose at him.

Hyunjin gives her a small chuckle before pressing his lips to hers engulfing her in a passionate kiss. Their lips danced together before Y/N pulled away "I knew you'd be a better kisser sober..." She joked

"Shut up...."

taglist: @yangbbokari @lovesunshinefelix @tr-mha-fan @threeopossumsinacoat

#skz angst #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #stray kids smut #stray kids reactions #hyunjin angst #stray kids imagines #skz fake texts #hwang hyunjin angst #skz hyunjin fluff #hwang hyunjin fluff #hwang hyujin imagines #hwang Hyunjin request #hyunjin fluff

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incogrio · 1 month ago

Text

monster mash!

SYNOPSIS: in which you go on a pumpkin patch date with your boyfriends!

pairing: : poly!ot5 x gn!member!reader (no gender mentioned, but written with male reader in mind) word count: 1.8k+ genre: enough fluff to heal my soul permanently warnings: cringe? overly affectionate? a changbin joke (in good fun i love him) mayhaps very american view of pumpkin patches,, queers,, etc

AUTHORS NOTE: soooo... yeah i've been gone a WHILE. i would say a lot has been going on but that would lowkey be a lie. i just sort of lost the motivation to... do anything really LOL,,, but i hope u guys have not forgotten abt me!!! i may be a tad rusty, these may be a tad out of character, i may be a tad terrified of posting this. moral of the story, hope u enjoy, i've missed u guys.

fall has always been your favorite time of year. the orange falling leaves, slight chill in the air, and the pumpkin flavored treats never failed to enthrall you. but, being a kpop idol comes with its downsides. the main one: no time off.

and so, you spent every halloween practicing with your members, filming to do specials and squeezing in a singular mini chocolate bar in secret at the end of the night. in many ways, it was depressing. but what the emptiness left behind was love.

you and your members had slowly begun a relationship. in the beginning, it was out of sheer desperation and loneliness. a quickie to get you through a long schedule. but, throughout your years together, all six of you had fallen in love. and today, you were finally getting some time off, and what better way to spend a chilly autumn day than at a pumpkin patch. finally, you had all crammed into the van you’d usually used for traveling between schedules, except today, there were snacks strewn about, no chauffer, yeonjun took that job, blankets and jokes.

“guys, what if we lose soobin in the corn maze, he’ll look just like the scare actors!” beomgyu loudly exclaimed mockingly over the hum of the engine and radio blasting music.

soobin, in the passenger seat beside yeonjun, simply turned to look at gyu. squinted eyes and lips fighting a smile dawned his face.

“guys!” soobin repeated, mimicking beomgyu, “what if we lose beomgyu in the pumpkin patch, he’ll look just like the pumpkins!” huening kai loudly burst into laughter, clapping his hands together.

beomgyu, who was sitting next to you, let his jaw drop in shock. he picked up a bag of chips and hurled it at soobins face, to which the entire van erupted into laughter and claps.

soobin turned once more, “y/n! restrain him!”

you laughed reaching out to wiggle your fingers into beomgyu’s sides, to which he squirmed and loudly squealed.

“ah! stop! i thought you loved me!” beomgyu loudly protested through his laughs.

after much reprimanding from yeonjun for being too loud, soobin delivered a chaste kiss to yeonjun’s cheek. everyone pretended not to see the blush. it wasn’t long until you felt a small tap on your shoulder. you turn to see one of your boyfriends, huening kai. he was dawned in his brown star sweater, black hair all strewn his forehead. he looked like if fall and spring had a child, and if they had named it after their hopes to become summer.

he points to a nintendo ds in his hand, and then glances to the empty seat next to him. you smile at his sheepish request, and climb over the seats to collapse next to him. he immediately covers you up with a blanket, and you lean your head on his shoulder. almost instantaneously, you are enthralled by his soft, deep voice muttering to you his actions on the pokemon game displayed on his screen. you wrap your arms around his, snuggling into him as you slowly close your eyes.

———

when you awaken, you notice that what once was a soft, brown sweater, is now a tan colored shirt. you don’t need to look up to know who it is. you let out a soft hum, and taehyun smiles to himself. he softly shrugs the shoulder you lay on, coaxing you to lift your head. once you concede, you realize the rest of the van is empty.

“we’re five minutes away,” tae says softly. “but beomgyu was gonna shit his pants, so we stopped here. everyone else is getting snacks.” your tired brain takes longer than usual to deduce that you have arrived at a gas station, but once you do, you look back at tae.

“you didn’t want to get off?” you ask, voice deeper than usual from sleep.

tae shakes his head, reaching to you and fixing a stray hair gently.

“wanted to spend some time with you, even if you were asleep.” he says sheepishly, and you internally aw. he leans forward, his bright black eyes glancing down to your lips. you let your lips brush for a moment before taking control, jerking your head forward to close your lips around his. he lets out a deep breath, as though he had been without air for years. you smile against his lips, and allow yourself to get lost for moment.

“guys, stop being gay.” you hear beomgyu say from the open van door. tae separates himself from you, smiling widely, eyes crinkling around his shiny eyes.

you turn to gyu, “if you want a kiss too, just say that.”

“what if i do? i sat next to you on purpose, you know. but then you moved!” beomgyu whines out, to which you chuckle. he was only sated after about 5 kisses and two cheek squeezes.

———

when you all finally arrive at your destination, you were welcomed in by a large “fall pumpkin festival” sign in large, blocky letters printed on a wooden sign.

you pile out of the car, soobin immediately floating to your side and slipping his pinky to wrap around yours. you all slowly figure out where you are meant to go, and begin walking up a quaint gravel path. at the entrance, you were immediately bombarded with the sounds and sights. giant bouncy houses, food trucks, carnival games, corn mazes, even pig races were all at your disposal. immediately, you all gravitated towards the small race course that winded up tiny ramps and around small obstacles.

gyu points at one of the pigs grazing, “look, it’s bang pd!” soobin immediately brings a finger to his mouth, signaling to gyu to stop talking as you all giggled.

“i say the one with black spots is gonna win,” you declare, pointing at the small pig who was currently sniffing his own poop.

“no, the pink ones gonna win.” soobin declared, “he’s bigger.”

“wouldn’t bigger mean he moves slower?” tae mentioned, and soon, you were divided, three vs three, on which pig was gonna win. you, tae, and gyu on the side of the black spotted pig, which you had affectionately named ppulverse pt 2. soobin, yeonjun, and kai on the side of the pink one, whom they had named changbin. when the race had finally begun, you all cheered obnoxiously loud for your respective pigs. ppulverse pt. 2 fell at one point, and gyu dramatically fell to his knees in utter disappointment. it was safe to say that it wasn’t hard for changbin to win. your team pouted as yeonjun, kai, and soobin all exchanged celebratory kisses and pats on the back.

“how does it feel to LOSE!” said yeonjun as he pointed at your dejected faces.

“i’m never fucking you ever again.” you said with a monotone, to which kai once again laughed and clapped.

yeonjun simply laughed with a cocky smile. “aren’t i the one doing the fucking?” he whispers to tae.

soon after, you all decided to try your hand at apple bobbing. and then you were painting your ppulbatu’s on pumpkins and buying them for an absurd amount of money. yeonjun decided to try his hand at a strong arm competition. lets just say, kai gave him lots of ‘you tried your best’ kisses.

“it’s getting dark, lets go into the corn maze.” kai suggested, and you all simultaneously stopped walking. he let out a soft hum in confusion.

“im not doing that.” taehyun immediately protested, and immediately all the other members agreed. except for you.

you sigh, shuffling your feet. “i’ll do it on the condition that i get funnel cake beforehand.” kai smiles, reaching up and doing a salute motion with his hand. kai ordered the cake as yeonjun decided to “prove” himself by winning you a fox plushie.

“watch, baby, watch your sexy boyfriend!” he loudly exclaimed, and you covered your face in embarrassment. he paid the man behind the stand five dollars, and received five rings in exchange. you lingered behind him as he lined up his shot, and tossed them into the rows of empty bottles one by one. as though suddenly possessed by an athletically capable alcoholic, the rings perfectly lined up with every single bottle.

“are you proud?” he asked as he handed you the large plushie.

“very!” you say happily, pressing a kiss to his plush pink lips. by the time you returned to the rest of the boys, they had already begun digging into the funnel cake. you sat down, sitting the plushie next to you as though he were a person. all the members immediately mutter soft ‘woaaahhh’’s at yeonjun’s accomplishment.

finally, after much picking at the cake in slow motion to stall, you had to venture into the corn maze. junnie, soobin, gyu and tae all sat on a hay bale near the entrance to the maze as they hyped you up. the fox plushie in one hand, and kai’s sleeve in the other, you both slowly walked into the maze.

kai walked as though he were walking through a mall at midday. meanwhile, you were practically pulling off his sweater by the sheer grip you had on him. the first scare actor noticed you guys before you noticed them. they took note of your apparent fear, and targeted you instead of kai.

right as you were walking by, a man dressed as a zombie launched out of the corn maze and shouted in your face. you screamed bloody murder, stumbling back into kai and covering your face with your plushie. kai immediately laughed, and you smacked him as he practically dragged you to continue walking. you kept your eyes on the actor as you walked farther and farther away.

the next scare actor targeted kai, determined to make the unfazed man crack. she was dressed as a pilgrim, with a giant axe stuck inside the front of her skull. she jumped out, grabbing her head axe and yanking it out of herself, before maniacally swinging it at you and kai. you, once again, screamed out, pulling kai backwards by his sweater and shaking. kai simply stepped back, letting the woman’s manic behavior come to a halt before laughing to himself and continuing on his way, you in tow.

the woman stopped her acting as you left her sight, letting her axe get stuck back in her head and turning to the zombie actor, shrugging.

for the rest of the maze, all of the actors were targeting kai, desperately trying to get him to so much as flinch, blink, anything! ironically, the only person they managed to scare every time was you. after what felt like an eternity, you finally looped around to the entrance, and saw your boys all chit chatting. you sprinted out of the maze, pulling kai behind you and immediately shouting about what had happened. you described every single scare as kai hugged you, and the rest of the members diligently listened to your maniacal rambling.

despite the scares, you were comforted in the simple fact that no matter how dark or scary a place may be, your boys would always be there to listen.

and so as you snuggled into the van once more, next to tae once more, you smiled to yourself. fall was finally your favorite season again.

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