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sociallyawkward--fics · 4 years ago

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yeaa since the 2 months since ive sent u those asks (i think it was 2 months ???? idk) ive had a few more minor crises over whether or not i was aro (&a more memorable one recently where i completely convinced myself out of it for a day) bc im dumb& constantly forget that as much as i like to debate over whether im capable of experiencing The Romantic Attraction i have yet to do so -H

also ??? i just realized ??? i always think of romance movies as too quick paced bc who gets together within a few days?? weeks?? months?? obviously u need to know them better before u know if ud be compatible dating. But No That's Not How It Works What The Fuck the only romantics i will accept in this world r demiromantics /lh /j theyre the only ones who make sense -H (i saw smth somewhere abt how u dated ppl to get to know them better& my view of the world shifted drastically within seconds)

wait that reminds me of how when i was younger (younger being like .. a year or two ago) i thought the purpose of dating was to eventually get married so middle school relationships baffled me bc ???? theyre not gonna last that long ???? whats the point ???? but nooo u date ppl bc u enjoy being around them or smth what the fuck when will this stuff stop being confusing -H (why do i even bother questioning if im aro sigh)

theres also alot of theories abt papyrus bc he doesnt appear at all in the game but i am pretending i do not see it i will wait for canon -H

just realized i have no idea whether uve played deltarune but .. im just gonna assume u have ?? if not .. oops ?? i think i was gonna say smth else not pertaining to undertale originally but i got distracted give me a moment -H

oh wait yea i was gonna uh .. gender !! ! me too ! ! i am .. noncis. im not rly comfortable w using trans& nb is ok but .. i do technically identify w my agab so its not rly right. .. so uhhh im arogender !. !! im not sure how much i relate to the def but its also the only label ive found that feels right so ive uh just been using it -H (bc its not as much that my lack of romantic attraction affects my gender than it is uh my gender feels like my aromanticism ???but its a little of both i think)

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Gosh, I am still so sorry it took me two months to answer those other asks, I was way out of my own head for a while there. Thank you for being patient with me lol

And hey, remember: sexuality and romanticism and gender are all fluid. For some people, they change and shift over time. So if you’re aro now, and later on you realize you’re grayro or demiro or something like that, that’s valid. That doesn’t make the time you spent identifying as aro any less valid, either. This is a lifelong journey, for many people, probably including myself tbh. And who even says you need a label anyways? If you want one, then by all means, find one you’re comfy with, but you don’t need one if it’s stressing you out too much. But, hey, identify as aro for now if you want to. If later on you choose to change that, that doesn’t invalidate you or anyone else. It’s okay.

And yeah, big agree, romance movies always seemed p rushed to me lol. I’m here like “what do you mean people date each other to get to know each other??” Like, my aspec self does not understand lol. I think it’s likely why I’m so into friends-to-lovers/mutual pining/slow burn type stuff when I read shippy fics lol, I can’t vibe with the faster-paced stuff because it seems so unrealistic as someone who doesn’t experience the world like alloromantics (and allosexuals) do. Also, I also grew up thinking the point of dating was finding a spouse, but that’s because I was raised in the church and that’s what my dad raised us to believe, and also why my parents’ rule was “no dating before 16 years of age minimum”

I’ve played most of deltarune but I got stuck and then my computer reset and I didn’t finish it lol. But I watched Jacksepticeye play the whole thing!! It’s just been a while so it’s hazy, I didn’t obsess over it as heavily as I did Undertale back in 2015/2016 lol. Still very excited for what comes next though, even though I’m not super caught up with the background lore and the fan theories lol.

Your gender is so valid kiddo, you do you. I usually refer to you with they/them in my head, is that chill or do you have different pronouns you use? I realized I had never thought to ask before even though I really should have lol

I hope you’re doing well!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

#ask #anon #H anon

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oscar-mildes · 5 years ago

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elvira you know I always see what you're hiding in the tags,, I will always read it if you answer all of them abhsjdbs

nev you asked for this and im going to go thru with it bc im an oversharing idiot like oh you asked me how’s the weather i will tell you about all my trauma instead :D

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? i’m cis yo i’m she/her. i’m biromantic ace. thats the label i would put on it i guess. i really just refer to myself as gay bc i like pretty boys who look like girls and pretty girls and pretty nb and queer people and basically i just like pretty people ajsfbjf

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story? theres no story to it. no epiphany or realization. i just always was ok with thinking that girls were pretty and that gay people are cool and it wasnt until recent years that i was like oH SHIT AM I GAY

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it? no i guess bc i’m a girl and id as a girl and have a very obvious girl body

Who was the first person you told, how did they react? i guess my best friend. we’re both very ok with gay shit and we just always made comments about pretty girls and now we’re both pretty gay. i like my big tiddie anime girls and she likes her pretty kpop girl bands

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel? i’ve only “come out” to some of my friends. i would NEVER in my LIFE even imagine telling my mom i like girls. shes homophobic Like That

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react? uhh see above. my mom, stepdad, family members are all homophobic. hispanics in general are Like That rip. i think my dad would be the most ok with it but he lives in mexico and i dont talk to him often anyway. doesnt matter

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality? i hate when people ask me about the ace part. like they have a bigger problem about my not wanting to have sex over the liking girls part tbh. sometimes it’s difficult for me to even describe where i am on the ace spectrum. it’s honestly the more difficult part

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear. basic nerd. you know those fics like “she dressed in a black t-shirt, skinny jeans, and all star converse” yea that she is me

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships? ajkfj this is a good question and canon wise i love Ash and Eiji from Banana Fish, Uenoyama and Mafuyu from Given, Nezumi and Shion from No. 6, and Simon and Baz from Carry On. Not canon i love Kurama and Hiei from Yu Yu Hakusho, Izuku and Todoroki from My Hero Academia, and Inosuke and Tanjiro from Demon Slayer. Note how most of them are anime i

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any? i dont really wear any bc im lazy. if you like it you do you but idrc for it? except for lipstick i LOVE lipstick i have all the colors. i wear it so it distracts people from the rest of my face

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you? ...no

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community? i live in the south so ive heard tons of shit talk about gay people. i dont really have any that stand out. my mom just likes to say that we’re going to hell :D so let’s give em a show ay

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community? i guess i like how we find solidarity in each other just bc we’re not straight. most of the lgbt+ folks i know are pretty chill about everything

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community? terfs but they dont count

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not? i live in a small town and i could never sneak out of my house for that bc i still live with my mom so no

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity? theres so many big celebrities now that id as lgbt+ but im going old school and loving my man, my tumblr url namesake mr Oscar Wilde. my man got put in jail for sodomy

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet? lmao never bc im mean, ugly, and terrible at talking to people irl. i had a bf in middle school? but bc i was 12 i dont count it

What is your favourite lgbt+ book? Carry On and the sequel Wayward Son. (very anxiously waiting for book 3 Anyway the Wind Blows come on Rainbow Rowell)

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened? for being gay? no. bc im not really out. ive faced discrimination for being a brown woman tho :)))

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show? yall i love gay anime: Given, Banana Fish, No. 6, Yuri on Ice yeee. i dont really watch tv with real people but i think that Brooklyn 99 does a very good job with Holt and Rosa yall im love Rosa

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers? theres bloggers??? um idk i love u nev so you count right @why-do-you-pick-flowers

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim? for a while everyone was mad as hell about “im gay for ___” and idk im gay for everything so thats a “slur” i use for myself

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it? ive never gone omg i’d probably be intimidated as hell like i have a lot of problems just existing so to be existing around very flamboyant and extravagant people like that makes me break into a nervous sweat

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you? ive always felt like a girl even tho my mom always said “oh you like boy things??? you should have been born a boy” but like, your likes and dislike dont determine your gender. i like “boy” things and “dress like a boy” but i dont FEEL like a boy. ive never had any desire to become a boy or id as a boy. gender is a social construct fuck society

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not? i have a very complicated relationship with children. babies are ugly and toddlers are annoying but i feel like if i had children i would love them obviously because theyre mine. this is gonna be a weird analogy but like i dislike cats. BUT i have cats. and i love the fuck outta them. so i feel like thatd be me with kids. but im ace so like.... who would even have kids with me. i could not. pregnancy seems like a hassle and adoption is... i have thoughts on that but thats for a different post. also i can see myself being married and not having children OR having kids without a spouse. theres just something complicated about having both??? maybe im just fucked in the head idk bro

What identity advice would you give your younger self? you dont hate girls you like them, dumbass

What do you think of gender roles in relationships? fuck gender roles. get pegged, bros. i also have a very specific dynamic if i ever got into a relationship (which you know. wont happen) but like if i dated a guy i feel like i’d be very top. a MAN telling ME what to do??? fuck that. but if i dated a pretty girl??? top me pls

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender? i think ive already said too much oh god someone is gonna look at this and be like what the FUCK but like lmao dont be afraid to ask me i apparently have no shame

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+? it’s scary at first because you think “im not normal” but like pray tell me what is normal. do what makes you happy. fuck society

Why are proud to be lgbt+? i’m comfortable with the people i like. i might not be very confident and i have depression, anxiety, self esteem issues, probs adhd or ocd idfk but at least i know if i see a pretty girl or smth im gonna be like wow that girl is pretty and have no bad thoughts about it. it’s just how it be. after a lot of dissecting my past behavior, ive always been this way. you cant change who you are. just accept it

#asks #nev you asked for this #oversharing??? me??? never #lgbt stuff #im gay yall

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rontra · 5 years ago

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ANONYMOUS ASKED:

i really like mwot and was wondering, do you wanna talk/loredump/etc about mwot during this blessed month of pride? (if not that's totally cool!!! i really like the au and am curious about it!)

REPLY:

YES!!!!

umineko spoilers below and LONG POST KSDJDKSKD i really went infodumping......you got me right in an infodumping mood....

also im being very casual in this post so if something is like weird or vague its probably because i got tired of thinking about it and skipped ahead. SKJDSJD

mwot is an umi au and its very gay and very trans because i, a gay trans, decided it was TIME to INDULGE

LIKE A MOUNTAIN WIND FALLING ON OAK TREES also known as MWOT, MW/OT, Mountain Wind + Oak Trees, MW+OT, or literally any combination of its parts, is an eva/natsuhi au, set in a vague modern big city setting

https://rontra.tumblr.com/tagged/mountain-wind-oak-trees

it’s a comedy, mostly? it has elements of backstory transphobia and stuff like that but that’s not really the story i want to tell with it, so i don’t go too deeply into it in the main fic. it’s mostly comedy and Self Care: The Story (once these nerds get around to acknowledging that self care is good, anyway!!!!)

Eva is 20, nb lesbian (though she doesnt know half of it to begin with). generally a bitchard at the beginning but also deeply craving that Validation. Invested in making the fic harder to write due to pronoun shenanigans (shoutout to the lengthy section of intimate emotional scenes that uses no pronouns at all for eva but is narrated by them in 3rd person)

Natsuhi is like 21 i guess because im a sucker for her having like an annoying 1-3 years on eva bc eva would get mad about it. Also she’s trans, gray-ace, hopeless romantic, generally full of “quickly raising your eyebrows and looking away while sipping your drink and thinking Yikes” energy. weaponizes indifference but is no stranger to harder means. she’s a smart cookie

Sayo is also 20, gender clown car living her best life. Presents differently depending on mood and whim

krauss is like 22 or whatever. for housekeeping’s sake, rosa and rudolf are too young to matter (8 and 10, or something like that). dont even worry about it

honestly the weirdest part of the au is eva and sayo being the same age

also this au is the origin point of me & my friends using akikaze as nat’s maiden name. the more you know!

USHIROMIYA GOLD dishes up that yellow metal like you wouldn’t believe. led by kinzo whos so fuckin good at sniffing out that sweet sweet gold people are half convinced the man has psychic powers. Any piece of land he’s got his eyes on, he WILL get his hands on, no matter who owns it right now.

the land kinzo wants At The Moment is owned by the AKIKAZE FAMILY who have been notably on the decline recently. they’re in the economic shithole so this land is basically all they’ve got right now, so when kinzo wants it and it suddenly Has Value, they’re like “oh, shit,

anyway the deal basically shakes out that like, he gets the land and all the gold that may or may not be in it. he offers his eldest son in exchange for this land, to marry their daughter: in the bonds of marriage graciously ensuring a part of the winnings will spill over on them, while keeping them under his control without money coming into the picture.

Everything’s working out great and coming up kinzo. the deal is closed and everyone’s happy (i guess). until ONE DAY, just a few narrow weeks before the akikaze girl is set to move in with the ushiromiyas,

KINZOS

OLDEST

SON

DISAPPEARS

!!!!!

Krauss dislikes being told what to do, and his father’s ideals never lined up with his own. He thinks this entire thing is sort of fucked up and can’t live under his dad’s thumb anymore. That's why, immediately following Kinzo’s agreement with the Akikaze family, Krauss disappears. He’s just kinda left for greener pastures, to unfold his own life and pursue his own interests independent of the Ushiromiya name. He leaves behind a letter explaining it & basically he forfeits both name and inheritance, and Kinzo’s incredible deal is suddenly in jeopardy.....

obviously this is kinzo though, and all of his solutions are like, 20 times more complicated than they have to be? he’s DETERMINED to have this land so he’s like “i need an eldest son. shit rudolf is only like 9. fuck. well okay i have an eldest daughter with a deeply complicated need for validation and success entirely driven by her overall neglect at my hands“ and the rest. as they say. is history (???)

Ushiromiya Eva always saw Krauss as unworthy of the inheritance, and to her, his disappearance confirms this. She grew up always being made to feel inferior to her older brother, usually being ignored in favor of him, and it's bred a complex need for validation in her. Her values and strengths are more like Kinzo’s than her brother’s, and Kinzo recognizes this in the wake of Krauss’ disappearance.

basically he concocts this really wild scheme where eva has to pretend to be his oldest son and marry this girl or whatever so he can seal this stupid gold deal and she’s like “well lol if i get to be family heir” and hes like “yes that’s what im saying” and shes like “awesome let’s do it”

all of the servants are in on it too of course. specifically kinzo enlists SAYO who works there as normal staff and isn’t otherwise tangled into this family’s mess in any way whatsoever. she’s just here to serve tea and looks. anyway he’s like “you work on this with eva--i mean evan, my son, you must have misheard--and eva you have to listen to whatever yasuda says” and eva is like “that last part will not be frustrating for me at all”.

Yasuda as reigning Household Gender Presentation Expert is like “i think i just got orders from the master to bully eva?” and eva is like “i wish i could fire you but my dad just banned me from doing that” and then gradually...over the course of the project......they become....friends.........

(the au is tagged eva & sayo for a reason. they become FRIENDS!!)

mostly its just various combinations of shkanon dunking on eva and its all VERY good.

during all these shenanigans we make some startling realizations like “gender euphoria is a hell of a drug” and stuff, which is extremely harrowing for everyone (note: not for everyone. just for eva, who makes 10,000 realizations every day, and should not have been counted.)

(ok sidenote did anyone else put on their first binder & go like “hmmm. i live here now” because. mood. im projecting entirely into this fic)

Gender Clown Car yasuda (currently as lion) is like “you know there’s like more than 2 genders” and eva’s like “you fucking wehat”.

i also make a REALLY INVOLVED JOKE ABOUT CASTIGLIONI GOLD, THE RIVAL COMPANY, and how BEATRICE’S KID LOOKS A LOT LIKE LION, and EVERYONE thinks this is all VERY funny

(i would like to see it. also kinzo owes beatrice castiglioni $20 and she’s never let him forget it.)

now wrapped up in this stupid impostor scheme AND full of big wild nonbinary energy AND!! WITH AN INFURIATING NEW FRIEND!! IN THE STAFF!!! this one funky ushiromiya is all ready to get in on an arranged marriage or whatever. provided NO ONE EVER FINDS OUT that they’re faking it and replacing the Actual Heir, which would no doubt ruin the scheme AND bring kinzo’s wrath on everybody involved, of course.

AKIKAZE NATSUHI IS READY TO PUNCH HER FIANCE IN THE THROAT IF HE EVEN LOOKS AT HER but she understands what’s happening here. she knows she didn’t have a say in this from the very beginning. that the deal was sealed for her as soon as the name “ushiromiya” was said. she knows her family married her off quick in a bid to get rid of her. if she’s humiliated by this ordeal, she is far too proud to show it. she packs her bags and walks into the mansion with her head held high........and immediately has this exchange with her fiance

and this one

so that’s kind of the energy we’re going for with these two.

(natsuhi’s line in the second cap was going to be removed for being Way Too Intense, but everyone i talked to said it was too hot to cut, so i decided to indulge us all. blame the lesbians)

they IMMEDIATELY don’t get along but they kinda agree to like, mind their business, since neither of them are interested in playing house here. if they can get the wedding to go off without a hitch they can basically go back to never talking to each other again.

natsuhi’s entire angle here is essentially: her family was not that good, and this family likely won’t be better, BUT here she has a chance to build something new for herself. she’ll be out of her parents’ house. She needs this deal to stay for her own sake, but she has to get out ahead of her husband and set up a dynamic that favors her. when she meets evan she essentially gauges the kind of person she’s dealing with and picks her approach accordingly: this is not a soft man, and she has to be hard in turn to avoid being steamrolled.

and its VERY hot

anyway some stuff happens and it eventually they both sorta get each other’s secrets. eva is not the firstborn son and natsuhi is not the card kinzo thought he was pulling from her family’s hand and theyre both toast if word hits the public. directly after the wedding they establish a tense alliance of keeping each others’ secrets....

and then they.....fall...in l

there’s some fun tensions and realizations. eva is like “so im quickly catching on that no praise i ever received from dad was on my own merit and he’s kind of a dirtbag all around and his validation is kind of not worth it” and nat is like “word our parents are chains” & they run kinzo over with the down w cis bus. it’s fine. they get postcards from krauss sometimes. he has a motorbike now.

DID I MENTION THE PRACTICE KISSING

BC THEY HAVE TO PRACTICE! FOR THE!! PUBLIC WEDDING!!!!

and thats mwot i guess. it’s my au where natsuhi’s accent color is red and some other stuff happens too. happy pride month

#mwot #second time's the charm

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karak9 · 6 years ago

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Another stupid long post about how I don't know my own fucking gender

This is honestly just copied and pasted from a yt comment I made on an older vid and I figured I'd share it here bc tumblr loves this shit I guess lol. God damn I've been questioning my gender for so long and ik rn im prob not still in the best position to be thinking about deep life shit like where I am mentally and im dealing with a lot in my life and also very insecure about potentially being trans bc a lot of my friends don't seem like they would be very accepting and my bf is only really into girls. I asked him how he would feel if I was nonbinary or looked like a boy and he just said he wasn't totally sure but he's only attracted to girls :c he's the sweetest bf in existence and im honestly so afraid of losing him, so aside from obviously not wanting to deal with all the other trans shit, I definitely hope im not trans bc I don't wanna lose him. Anyways, ill start with my childhood I guess. I was always super tomboyish. My older sisters (im the youngest sibling btw) were always p tomboyish so maybe I kinda got it from them but I kinda felt like I was more tomboyish than them? I felt like I was the most boyish girl I knew, like even meeting other tomboy girls in elementary school I felt like I couldn't really relate to them or like they couldnt relate to me enough idk. I also remember once making up a song about being like so tomboyish that I was basically a boy or something along those lines and sang it to my best friend at the time who I copied like all the fkin time (it honestly wasnt healthy lmao I didn't have good parents, also I think I started making up songs bc she did that and I wanted to like impress her), but she thought it was stupid and weird so I just forgot about it and moved on. I was embarrassed to even enjoy playing with dolls or play dress up games online and was determined to play masculine games like runescape (even tho I ended up doing girly shit in runescape anyways lmao) and considered myself one of the guys. In 5th grade when I started needing to wear a bra I absolutely didn't want to, tho some girls in my class thought it was weird I didn't wear a bra when they found out and that made me more insecure about it, but since then I've p much only worn sports bras. I have bought some more normal bras bc I wanted to look attractive in them for my SO or whatever but I still highly prefer my sports bras and can't stand wearing the other ones unless I have to bc my sports bras aren't clean lmfao. I always hated talking about genitalia and breasts n shit but that could just be bc of how I was raised and how my family was always so strict and such radical Christians and anything sex related was a sin, idk if its dysphoria or not. I've never rlly liked my chest and hated showing cleavage like so god damn much and still do but maybe that's the same thing or maybe I just want smaller boobs and that's it idk??? Like I'd want to appear to have a completely flat chest at least, idk if I'd want to actually like have a guy chest or not? Also huge issue with ppl seeing me naked or touching my boobs but again idk if that's gender related or just a normal issue I have. Tho I had a friend in high school (a girl, a very weird lewd girl) who would occasionally grope my chest randomly and it wasn't a huge issue but kinda made me uncomfortable and more aware of my chest. I really like when I wear big hoodies or when I lean over so my shirt kinda poofs out and it looks like I have a flat chest underneath. Though im not super uncomfortable with my boobs, like normally ill want nothing to do with them but I don't mind my SO touching them especially if they're really into it. I wouldn't say im rlly dysphoric about between my legs either, like yeah I think its weird and I hate monthlies and stuff but I think that's normal. I think if i woke up one day and had a dick I would be fine with it, I'd prob even enjoy it tbh lmao. I once had a dream that i was, well, a male dog like,,, ya know, with a female dog, and not to sound weird af (hey we were both dogs ok) but I think i kinda enjoyed it? I don't really remember any other dreams where I remember actually having a dick or feeling it but I've had several dreams as a male person, but p much all of them were like, I was seeing through a character's eyes or smth, not really that I was a guy, so idk if that's normal. I have the same dreams about being other girl characters, I'd say its split about 50/50. Because of this game community im in, a lot of ppl assume im a guy, and a lot of people still think im a guy and I haven't really bothered to correct them but idk if I find it more enjoyable bc its funny or if I enjoy not being referred to as female for once. I'll admit I feel most comfortable referred to as they/them, like without a doubt, if I could go by only 1 set of pronouns for the rest of my life it would be they/them. But ik that's not enough to call myself trans. I definitely wouldn't want to be 100% male. Like if I imagine myself as a grown man vs a grown woman id prob choose to be a woman. I don't like my voice but I think that's mostly just bc I sound 10 years younger than I actually am, and wouldn't really want a deep/masculine voice. Like a "tomboy" voice would be fine if that makes sense? I don't want facial hair or want to have a masculine body, I like that I have curves and soft skin and small hands. Personally I like my hair long bc its soft and people love it, but sometimes I kinda wish I had short hair and could pass as a boy. Like I'd wanna be a typical cute kpop boy ngl lmfao. I like the whole cute androgynous/feminine boy look and wish I could pull it off. Tho I also like really girly things sometimes and am okay being seen as a girl, i just want to be cute and attractive. Ik whether im trans or not I like being a mix of feminine and masculine, tho I admit in the past I've been kinda insecure bc I used to be super sure I was nb and thought me liking girly things and wanting to still havd long hair and wear girly clothes made me seem like "not trans enough" or whatever. But i guess here I am questioning myself again anyways. If I am nb, it sucks that ill never really be able to be openly myself and all but I've accepted by now that I kinda have to pick a binary and choose what I want to be seen as for the rest of my life, and im ok with being female. There are some things I dont like about my body whether they're really gender related or not but I can't afford to transition and wouldn't like most of the effects of T and am afraid of surgery and not sure I want top surgery enough to ever get it anyways, but I think if we lived in a perfect world and I could magically change my body at will and I wasnt afraid of judgment or being unattractive or whatever, I'd probably want to look androgynous and itd be cool to be able to change my genitalia at will lmao. If I had to choose 1 genitalia over the over I honestly have no idea what I'd choose but I have no desire to ever get bottom surgery, at the same time tho I honestly wanna someday get surgery or w/e to never be able to get pregnant. I just could not handle pregnancy or giving birth and I don't even like babies and breast feeding sounds awful so if I ever have kids they will be adopted 100% and most likely be older and like not newborn babies lmfao, babies are honestly so weird to me and they stink and cry and they're so fragile and im so afraid of like dropping them when I hold them lmao. But I like my nieces and nephews and I like being the cool aunt (is there a gender neutral version of aunt/uncle?) who lets them use my art supplies and helps them do fun stuff even if I get tired of them sometimes lol. Idk if that's gender related either but yeah I guess. This if kind of a more recent thing but I often say I'd make a great bf kinda as a joke bc of how I am in relationships like being the stereotypical sweet bf type who makes things for their partner a lot and wants to be their knight in shining armor and their protector and all that, but again prob not rlly trans related lmao just thought I'd throw that out there I guess. So when I was 17 was when I really started getting into trans stuff, prior to that I mostly just learned from my parents that trans ppl were "against god" and all that bs, and eventually started realizing lgbt+ isn't as bad as my family said and later realized I was bi. But anyways I met an agender person online when i was 17ish and I'd never heard it before and thought it was really interesting and asked them how you know you're agender bc after hearing their explanation of it i thought it described how I felt, but ofc they weren't transmed and just described it as being like a deep feeling or whatever and since then i started calling myself agender (and switched between a few labels but basically nonbinary) until my transmed friend told me I was ridiculous and that I wasn't trans, and honestly he was a huge dick but im a huge pushover lmao and I thought well he's trans so he must know what he's talking about, and though I felt discouraged about it I stopped calling myself nonbinary. Then I began questioning it again after not too long and basically since then I've been questioning my gender off and on. I'm now 22 and god I fucking hope im cis but also I feel like a part of me doesn't want to be cis if that makes sense?? Idk if that's because I don't like being a girl for some weird deep reason I don't know about despite being pretty sure I've gotten a lot of my feelings and their reasons behind them figured out, or if it's because I am trans and dont want to force myself to pretend im a girl 100% forever. At the very least, whatever the fuck my gender is, I want to continue going by they\them wherever I can and pretending to be a boy to strangers online and I'd love to cosplay male characters and bind and occasionally just dress masculine for the hell of it and probably wear sports bras for the rest of my life. I feel like in a way I cang possibly be trans because I can live with all of those things and be fairly comfortable still being seen as female for the rest of my life. But idk, I have bpd and other mental shit so sometimes im not great with my feelings (tho I do try really hard to identify all of my feelings/emotions and stuff) but at the same time bpd can cause weird identity shit so maybe its just a weird mix of a bunch of crap and im not actually trans but just weird and tomboyish enough to question my gender for 5 years and still be unsure. Also I know a lot of ppl suggest talking to a therapist/psychologist/whatever professional and trust me I would love to but I can't currently and am unsure when ill be able to bc they're expensive and I live in the middle of fucking nowhere so finding a decent therapist around where I live rn is going to be very difficult. Also, I have fucking crippling social anxiety lmao like I'd be so afraid to open up about this stuff even to a professional. So if anyone could suggest anything online that could help that would be amazing

#Trans #nonbinary #nb #genderqueer #gender questioning #transmed #pls help me lmao I hate my brain sm #also im so sorry if this post is scuffed af #im on mobile #its 4 am I cba

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useless-sloveniafacts · 6 years ago

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"Universities in Slovenia ban male gender from grammar" i'm sorry but what in the world is happening here? to je čist noro :I

(ok this is completely personal but i haven’t seen barbar//a4u/2c (on whose yt channel you can find a video with this title) have a good take on basically anything ever since that first cursing in slovene video, which i admit i actually quite like)

Anyway, the Faculty of Arts of the University of Ljubljana (UL) (and the Faculty of Social Sciences followed, afaik, not sure tho; in any case, those are the “universities” referred to above, I believe) has recently decided that in the internal acts of the faculty, “the forms in the feminine gender (e.g. profesorica “a (female) teacher”, študentka “a (female) student”, etc.) will be used to refer to any gender” (i.e., študentka is used to refer to any student, no matter the gender) – so far, the masculine gender has been used to refer to both* genders, as the structure of the language takes the masculine form to be the default (so, when referring to people in a general manner, many/most people would use the masculine forms, even if they themselves are women, for example)

*They actually wanted to change the diction “both genders” to “all genders,” but as that was perceived as too ideological, they eventually settled on “any gender.”

The use of feminine forms of nouns to refer to people in a general manner has been the practice of the Faculty for Social Work in its internal acts for more than decade now, but since that faculty is really small (and isn’t seen as the carrier of the humanist tradition in Slovenia or whatever) nobody paid any attention to it, until the Faculty of Arts (which is the biggest faculty of UL and which is seen as the carrier of the humanist tradition blah blah and so on and so forth etc.) decided to do the same.

Everyone and their mother is now acting like this is the end of the world, or worse, the Slovene language! and I have to say that I have not seen a single good take on this in the media, so.. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (to expound on that: on one side, it would be nice of the critics to at least try to present things as they are and not resort to, well, deceitful alarmism (and/or misrepresenting the effects it’s going to have on the language)… and on the other side, it would be good to acknowledge the overall pretty bad and overly rushed way this was put through, even if the intentions were good (like certain people in the senate apparently voted “yes” on this without realizing what the effect of the clause was going to be, so…))

In any case, as mentioned above, the only thing this affects is the words referring to people in a general manner: instead of profesor “a (male) professor”, profesorica “a (female) professor” is used, instead of študent “a (male) student”, študentka “a (female) student” is used. Specific names (which don’t appear in the internal acts of the faculty, like, ever, jsyk) would be accorded the appropriate gender (so no, “Janez Novak ne bo študentka”) and the pronouns with which the formally gender neutral masculine form is used (such as kdo, kdor and the like), will still use the masculine forms as expected and appropriate.

Though I’m presenting this as if I’m advocating for it, I personally am not entirely sure how good this solution actually is.*

*This is at least in part due to the fact that I believe that if you wanted to diminish the importance of gender in a language (or rather: the application of natural gender on grammatical gender in a language), then giving more prominence to the way the language is gendered is probably not the right way to do it – I would especially prefer it if people stopped associating grammatical gender with natural gender ..., the thing is though, considering how present gender is and how people (apparently) perceive it – when refering to people, more specifically – then having feminine forms be used in a neutral way to challenge how masculine forms are used might be a good thing and would shake things up a little bit in that respect (where’s neuter tho :’’ (“dekanè je po vodo šlo”)).

The other solutions that were considered were the use of “/” or “_” to write both forms, e.g. študent/ka (or študent/-ka) or študent_ka, but were not accepted because not only does this lenghten the text, it also makes it harder to read (especially once you get to forms like njenega/govega (= njenega / njegovega) – though admittedly, those don’t really crop up very often, so…) – it might be worth mentioning at this point that I especially like the idea behind the “_”, as it’s supposed to represent a sort of transition from feminine to masculine gender (or vice-versa) wherein you can find included the identities that don’t conform to the binary, which I know some people find ridiculous, but I think it’s really neat, especially considering it was the community of trans and nb people itself that came up with it (though again, I find it hard to read in longer texts – it might only mean I have to get used to it more though). Anyway, some more debate wouldn’t have hurt, though admittedly, hearing how this went down, I think then the result might have been worse so, .. there’s that.

Gender-sensitive use of language in Slovene has been discussed before too, so if anyone is interested, here are the archives: link, link (I think that’s it; parts of it are in Slovene)

#the thing i hate the most about this is that i can just see how all those #'liberal but thinks preventing gay couples from adopting kids is not homophobic'#ppl are drowning themselves in indignation over this #(ok i'll admit this is related to one particular person but i just know the type and i am not over it ok)#anon #ask #slovene #slovenian #slovenia

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ruffboijuliaburnsides · 6 years ago

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im gonna ask you a question. so, right now i identify as female (cis). and i'm not sure about it. how did you realize you were nonbinary? i tried out they/them pronouns once and i didn't like it. but like. sometimes i don't feel right with my name and my pronouns and my body. but that just might be depression or me zoning the heck out haha. i'm young, i have time. but i just want help? ? ? haha thank you and i really love your blog

Aw, no worries, nonny.

So I’m going to preface this by saying that everyone’s experience is unique, I’m not a professional anything, take anything I say with a grain of salt and do your own research and come to your own decisions. I will also mention that I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and one of the major symptoms of BPD is a lack of identity, sort of the… throwing yourself into things and other people and other people’s styles and making that who you are over and over and never quite feeling like you have an identity that means “you”. I mention this because that’s one of the things that currently has the biggest impact on me of all my BPD issues, and that has colored my entire gender journey, which in turn colors my advice and thoughts about it.

So as far as me realizing I was NB, it was a looooong process. I felt kind of dysphoric and maybe not-female for literal years, then I came out as trans because I figured “this probably means I’m a trans guy” and it felt MUCH better but still not quite right. After a couple years I went “yeah, not quite a guy either. …I guess that means I’m neither?” and that’s pretty much how that happened.

All that said, I’ll mention the following things:

1) the more I recognized and processed the internalized misogyny I have, the less dysphoric being read as female has become. It’s kind of plateaued and I think I’ve mostly just hit “i’m nb but more comfortable on the feminine side of things than I used to be” but hey, who knows, right? I mention this one first both to get it out of the way and because of stuff you mentioned in your ask. It’s not unheard of at ALL for cis women to feel very dysphoric about their bodies and uncomfortable with their womanhood. It’s not universal, though, it’s just a possible option. Our society hates women and teaches women to hate themselves, but whether you’re just a woman dealing with the fallout of living in a deeply misogynistic society or a trans person is something only you can decide.

2) I have known more than one cis female lesbians who identified as nb and don’t anymore, or identified as a trans guy and now identify as nb or cis. There is a lot of bullshit that most of us are trained into unknowingly about hating women and hating ourselves, and when we find ourselves loving women, it just compounds like… EVERYTHING. So if you’re a lesbian or bi, this could be something to keep in mind.

3) my most dysphoric moments were also tied to what I would consider my most disassociated moments. When i’m struggling so hard to even feel a connection to my body, things that make me actively NOT identify with my own body are like that much worse. It could also be the other way around, but either way, they can feed into each other. Mental illness can be a huge influence on your identity. That doesn’t mean your identity is wrong just because you’re mentally ill - i firmly believe that part of the reason I identify with nonbinary so hard is because it’s sort of an “in-between, unspecific, not really anything” sort of identity to me, and that’s how I feel about my identity at large most of the time. That said, identifying as NB has been a source of relief and joy, so even if it IS stemming from my BPD I don’t give a shit because it makes my life better.

4) It’s okay to change. If you’re cis now, and you identify as NB or a trans guy later, that’s okay. If even later, your identity shifts again, that’s ok too. Some people find who they are young and never really stop feeling that. Some people are really fluid and have a complex and ever-evolving relationship with their identity. Neither one is wrong. Your labels are for YOU. To make YOU feel like you have a handle on yourself. As your understanding of yourself changes, your labels might change too. That’s ok. Anyone who tells you it’s not is not worth your time.

5) You are valid. I know that’s basically a meme at this point and it’s a funny one, but the thing is that you are. You are you. You’re allowed to be you, and feel your feelings. The important part of any of that is how you REACT and ACT ON those things.

6) You’re allowed to tell people no when they ask questions. You’re allowed to say “that’s personal” or “I don’t feel comfortable answering that” or “sorry, you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock that part of my backstory” or whatever. You do not have to feel obligated to explain yourself and your identity and how you came to that identity and how it affects your sexuality etc etc ad nauseum to everyone who asks. It’s okay not to answer questions about things that people technically have no right to. It’s also ok to answer them if you’re down for it, but you’re not being rude by saying “no, that’s too personal, I’m not comfortable with that”. If they push it, THEY’RE the ones being rude.

7) The last and possibly most divergent from the original topic thing I’m going to say is possibly the most controversial? And it’s more about attraction than gender, but in my experience, dealing with one inevitibly means dealing with the other at the very least inasmuch as where they intersect, but that experience is why I’m including this. Unless nothing else has worked for you, I would stay away, at least initially, from the split attraction model. That’s the x-sexual/x-romantic split, and identifying them separately. I am not saying they’re bad or that they can’t be useful or helpful, but the thing is that they are mostly of use to the ace community, and only to a limited extent. Diving into them when you don’t need to can just over-complicate things; as much as labels are for YOU, it also doesn’t help to be overly specific. If you can be sexually attracted to both guys and girls but you’re only interested in being in relationships with girls? Sure, you could say you’re bisexual homoromantic (as a girl that is) but unless that is something that is NECESSARY FOR YOU, you could also just say you’re bi with a preference, or say you’re a lesbian because yes i think bi women who are still attracted to guys physically but have no intention of or desire to be with men can call themselves lesbians if that’s more comfortable for them. I say this mostly because I and more than a few people I know have done the split attraction model because it’s what is being done or w/e and it messed with them being able to actually deal with issues they were having and correctly identifying their sexualities and etc etc etc. It’s not intrinsically bad or harmful or wrong, but it’s also not intrinsically good, and it’s not useful for anyone. Unless you think it’s absolutely the only way to find your identity, I would largely steer clear of it for yourself. I put this last because it’s the least related to your actual question.

…I can’t think of anything else rn. Use the identifiers and terms that you’re comfortable with but don’t feel bad or ashamed of changing them if you realize they don’t apply anymore. Don’t feel like you have to identify things super-specifically just because it’s common practice. Uh…. idk, i’m a wee bit tipsy but hopefully some of this was even a little bit helpful? GOOD LUCK MY SMOL ONE, EVEN IF I CAN’T HELP I’M HERE TO LISTEN IF YOU NEED AN EAR OR A SHOULDER!

#Anonymous #audience with the gods

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ricekrispyjoints · 7 years ago

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Dima’s top 12 quick and dirty hacks for sounding more proficient in French

Bonjour à toutes et tous !

A friend recently asked for some French help, and I… got carried away. And made this list. There are probably similar lists out there, but I had a lot of fun making this so OSEF (that’s on s’en fout, or “who cares”).

I realize it’s basically all for spoken (or very casual written) French, but hey, talking is hard, but at least you don’t have to spell anything.

I have more or less put these in the order I (from personal experience) consider to be the easiest to the more advanced/difficult to implement. You may have more luck with one further down the list, who knows. À chacun son style !

(NB: I’m a native speaker of American English currently living in France. I started learning French in 8th grade (~13 years old) and fell in love.)

Click here to listen to the sample sentences used in the list.

If you would prefer this list in .pdf format, or have any questions/corrections contact me here.

(Other than typos, I would prefer that only native speakers offer corrections if there is a definition/usage concern.)

At the end of the list is a (short) list of my top English-French resources.

edit: the part about verlan has been updated, thanks to @fcktaken for pointing out the over-simplification.

Bref ! On y va, c’est parti !

1. Oui= Ouais

Okay, this is an easy one. Instead of saying a strict “yes” all the time, try a “yeah” in your speaking. (It sounds like “weh”, in case you weren’t sure.) Ouais, ça va.

2. Double subjects French, especially spoken or casual writing, likes to double subjects. It emphasizes who you’re talking about, especially when you’re discussing or comparing multiple subjets.

Use the direct object version and then the subject version of the pronoun:

Moi, j’aimerais bien. Toi, tu as un stylo à me prêter ? Lui, il est parti. Nous, on a déjà fini. (Notice here that “nous” corresponds to the « on ». see trick 3 for more on « on ».) Vous, vous êtes satisfaits ? Eux, ils parlent espagnol.

It also works for objects (at higher levels you will get yelled at for doing this in academic settings but everyone does it so fight me).

La chaise, elle est confortable ?

Le cahier, il est où ?

Le français, c’est une langue compliquée. (Fun fact: the c’ in c’est comes from ça which comes from cela, which is the official subject form “it”. I did not know this until literal years into my French education. Don’t worry about it.)

In questions, the direct object version (moi, toi, lui, etc) goes at the end :

Tu as des sœurs, toi ?

Il a réussi à l’examen, lui ?

3. “Nous” is out; « on » is in Especially when speaking, but also in more casual writing (and even in some scientific research papers, despite what my professors all say), instead of saying “nous”, use “on”. It uses the same conjugation as “il/elle” singular. –Caroline, qu’est que tu as fait avec ton amie hier ? –On est allées au ciné le soir. On s’est bien amusées ! (Note: you must show agreement with whoever the « on » is referring to! That’s why there’s an extra e and an s here: two girls = es ending.)

Nous, on a déjà fini le projet.

It can also be used to refer to people in general, as in “you have to pass a test to become a teacher”, where “you” is just some person in general, and no one specific. In English, we can also say “one”, as in “one must pass an exam…” but it sounds kind of snooty or pretentious. In French ? Very casual. Very common.

On doit passer un examen pour devenir prof. On dirait que c’est de ta faute !

On est plus fort quand on a bien dormi. (Note : for a general use, no agreement is necessary. So just “fort”, not “forts” or “fortes”.)

4. Drop the “ne” from your negations Ok so your professor might not like this, and you should definitely still write it. But when speaking, most French people (young and old except for absolute sticklers) do not say the “ne” in a “ne__ pas” (or “ne __ rien”, “ne __ plus, etc.) construction unless they are really trying to emphasize the negative. Again, this is for speaking only. J’ai pas de stylo. Vous êtes pas d’accord ?

Là j’ai rien compris.

Il peut plus continuer à courir.

Vous voyez personne ?

5. Contractions with je suis, je sais pas, and tu es/tu as

When speaking quickly, French speakers tend to contract certain sounds. Think of the English “I’m going to” becoming “I’m gonna”. In French, there a few common spoken (or chatspeak 😉) contractions:

Je suis: Chuis contente de te voir! ALSO Chu contente de te voir ! (Remember that in French, « ch » makes an English « sh » sound.)

Je sais pas : Chais pas trop. (Remember, we abandoned our « ne”! For some reason, the affirmative “je sais” doesn’t really get contracted as “chais”.)

Tu es : T’es très gentille !

Tu as : T’as un vélo, toi ?

6. Filler words Get rid of your “um”s and “uh”s and replace them with things like “euh”, “ben” or “fin”: Je suis… fin, je suis pas content de voir ça.

Ben, écoute, il y a plus que ça dans la vie !

7. “du coup” This is a spoken/casual replacement for “donc” and I swear native French speakers use it in every conversation. I honestly thought it was just a random filler word for literally weeks the first time I lived in France. Any time you want to say “so” or “therefore”, try du coup instead of “donc”:

Du coup, j’ai oublié l’heure du rendez-vous.

J’ai raté le train, du coup je suis arrivé en retard.

On comprend pas les consignes, du coup on peut pas finir le projet.

8. « N’importe quoi ! »

Okay this is a very self-indulgent because this is like. My favorite thing to say in French. It’s a very flexible phrase, and hard to “directly” translate into English. Here are a few scenarios where it works well:

· To say « anything »: Tu peux faire n’importe quoi avec un diplôme de Business. (This might be the original usage? But not the most fun…)

· Someone says something totally false or incorrect and you want to call them out (a tiiiny bit rudely): Mais tu dis n’importe quoi !

· Something is ridiculous or nonsensical: C’est vraiment du n’importe quoi…

· When someone is doing who-knows-what: Tu fais du n’importe quoi!

9. Le subjonctif

Listen. I’m really sorry. As a native English speaker, I had no idea what the subjunctive was. We don’t inflect it in English, and there’s a shit load of irregular stems, and sometimes the use of subjunctive seems random and doesn’t follow the “rules” our teachers give us. (Welcome to language, where everything is made up and rules don’t matter.) However, it’s really common in French. Anyway, even if you don’t master this mood, there are a few common phrases and irregular forms you should pay attention to:

· Il faut + infinitive: the easiest one. Seriously, you got this one.

· Il faut que j’y aille : I gotta go ! (aille is from aller) (please don’t ask me what the “y” is for; it’s a pronoun for a place but like… where are you going? Somewhere… Just don’t forget it.)

· Il faut que je fasse… : I have to do/make… (fasse is from faire)

· Il faut que tu sois/ça soit/vous soyez … : You/One/Y’all must be…. (sois/soit/soyez is from être)

10. Complain more

You think I’m kidding ? Okay, I am a little bit. But if you have the opportunity, a little whining never hurt anyone. According to my sources, 25% of French culture is complaining.

Here’s a few phrases to try out:

Ça craint! (That sucks!)

C’est chiant, ça. (A bit vulgar, so mind your audience.)

J’ai des devoirs à faire mais j’en veux paaaaas. (really draw it out)

Mais non, c’est pas possible… (with a sense of despair)

When in doubt, just fais la grève (go on strike).

11.Slang (argot) and swearing (gros mots)

Learning and integrating slang is… difficult. It varies regionally, it doesn’t translate directly, and if you’re only using French in a classroom setting, your teacher probably wants you to use more formal (and polite) French. BUT. It’s fun and if you spend time around native speakers in a casual setting, they will probably use a shitload of it. Here is a small selection of my favorites:

· Bordel: literally a brothel, you can use this to say something is a mess (J’ai pas fait le ménage depuis longtemps… Mon appart’ est un bordel…)

· Je m’en fous !: The more aggressive/vulgar cousin of “je m’en fiche” and “ça m’est égal » (all meaning various degrees of “I don’t care”), tell people you don’t give a fuck with this expression.

· Abréviations communes : la faculté (université) becomes la fac, d’accord becomes d’acc, personnellement becomes perso, ne t’inquiète pas becomes t’inquiète (negation ? don’t know her). There are loads others, but those are the ones that come to mind right away.

· Putain (‘tain): roughly the French equivalent of “fuck”. Use it as an exclamation, or add “de” and a noun to say “fucking (thing)”: putain de stylo ! Il y a plus d’encre !

· Merde/marde: literally “shit”, another common French swear. Merde is the French-from-France version, marde is the Canadian-French version that I also use because I think it sounds better. Feeling really angry? Try combining it with “putain” for “putain de merde/marde” for a nice, resounding “fucking shit!”

· Verlan: I personally don’t like/use verlan, but you might hear it among younger (teen/young adult) native speakers, especially those in urban/immigrant areas. it’s a heavily cultural kind of slang, but many words have entered “mainstream” French. Check out the french wiki for more on verlan (the English wiki is less complete re: cultural significance, but explains the form a bit). This is only on the list so you recognize what the hell people are saying when you hear it. The 2 most common ones I hear are meuf (femme) and ouf (fou).

· Wikebec.org: If you want to learn a lot of very diverse Canadian French (including slang and swearing, which is a whole art), check out wikebec. It is all in French, so if you’re not as advanced you may need an additional French-English dictionary.

12. Punctuation (aka I am passionate about silly things you can honestly skip this one I won’t be sad)

Wow, something about formal writing! So this is getting kind of knit-picky, and if you switch your word-processor language to French, it will do this automatically for you. Anyway, punctuation in formal French writing is a little different from English. Obviously, where and how many commas there are is very nuanced and I’m not going to get into much here, but here’s a few stylistic things to consider for the Advanced Schmoozer Student of French™:

· Commas in a list (virgules dans une série)

Ok so in English, I am an Oxford Comma Stan. The French have cordially invited me to go fuck myself. Here’s an English example WITH the Oxford comma, followed by the French translation withOUT the Oxford comma:

I bought milk, eggs, and fruit at the store.

J’ai acheté du lait, des œufs et des fruits au supermarché.

(The Oxford comma is the one after “eggs” in my example. It’s not there in French. It’s not a thing in French.)

· Quotation marks (des guillemets) You may have noticed in this document that for the French words, there are some accent looking things. Those are quotation marks. In narrative writing, these bad boys are largely ignored, but if you use MS Word with a French dictionary turned on, it will automatically turn your English “ “ into French « ». (See next point for further usage instructions.) « Les guillemets français sont différents de ceux d’anglais. »

· Extra spaces For all punctuation except periods and commas, an extra space is used. This means that colons (:), semicolons (;), quotation marks, question marks, and exclamation points have an extra space. Again, if you set your language to French, MS Word should do this automatically for you, but it looks like this:

Tu parles à qui ?

J’étais choqué !

Il faut faire attention ; sinon on va se tromper.

Danger : entrée interdite !

Le mot « putain » est vulgaire.

Quelques ressources utiles et d’autres conseils

This is by no means an exhaustive list of all the resources that I’ve used throughout my French education. BUT, these are the ones I frequently use and find easiest to navigate.

· www.wordreference.com Ok if you’re not already using wordreference and you are a fluent English speaker learning French, honestly what are you doing. Love yourself. It’s not perfect, but it’s by far the best online English-French dictionary I’ve used. (There is also a Spanish-French dictionary, but as my Spanish isn’t that advanced, I can’t speak personally to its accuracy.) Highlights of WR: easy to use, free app for phones/tablets, audio pronunciation for most (perhaps all?) main entries (and IPA transcription, if you know IPA), extensive phrases/expressions/idioms per entry, lots of example sentences (though not for every definition), forum with discussions of usage in context.

Just like any dictionary, pay attention to the part of speech and context: don’t just pick the first translation! Make sure it’s the version you want for your sentence.

· https://www.linguee.fr/francais-anglais

Another good online French-English dictionary, though I don’t use it as much.

· http://bonpatron.com/ A spelling and grammar checker! The free version has a character limit, but you can just cut your original text into smaller chunks and check it in parts instead of all at once if you pass the limit.

Highlights: Will tell you the general rule for errors it identifies (in English! As long as you make sure the “I’m a francophone” box is NOT checked), distinguishes between “double check this” (yellow highlight) and “just wrong” (red highlight), will check for feminine adjective agreement if you check the “je is feminine” box

· www.french.typeit.org

If you don’t want to install a French keyboard, memorize keyboard shortcuts, or spend 5 minutes searching for your accents in the “insert symbol” menu of word, typeit.org offers a free, online French keyboard. You can use their shortcuts or click on the button with the accent you want. Only downside is that you gotta copy paste it back into your document, but I used it a lot back in high school for typed French assignments.

· http://soutien67.free.fr/francais/francais.htm

Okay, hear me out: yes, this is a site for grade school teachers to help their kids learn French (as native speakers). BUT, there are a BUTTLOAD of conjugation exercises, vocabulary builders, and they all have answer keys! Available in .doc and .pdf format.

“Fiches” is where you want to go for the worksheets. It has downloadable worksheets, and then you can either choose a grade level or just start scrolling. The worksheets are organized by category, like “lire” with short stories and poems (for kids, so eh idk if that’s interesting), “grammaire” (goes more into parts of speech and such, but all in French), “orthographe” (spelling/writing rules), and “conjugaison” (our good friend verbs).

For the niveaux (levels): CP= 1st grade, when kids learn to read. These are likely not what you are looking for. CE1= 2nd grade, CE2= 3rd grade, CM1= 4th grade, CM2= 5th grade. Obviously gets more complicated/harder the higher the level.

So if you can put up with the grade school approach and you want more practice, check out what they have. (If you can’t find what you’re looking for, ask me and I will help you find what you need.)

If you made it this far…. Félicitations. You either have too much time on your hands, are very dedicated to French, or maybe both.

Merci et au revoir !!

#french #french resources #learning french #learn french #language learning #speaking french #casual french #french slang #french pronunciation #langblr #french language #mine #sorry about the formatting i... am too lazy to fix it #bc i copy pasted from a word doc #fle

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slightlyoffcolour · 4 years ago

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Ok. I'm not trying to fan the flames here, but I feel like I need to share my experience.

I'm nonbinary with no alignment, and my partner of nearly 12 years is a straight, cis man. We got together when we were young teenagers, back when I still identified as a straight, cis woman. I have since realized that I'm bisexual and nonbinary, and there is no one in this world who supports me more than my partner. He is always there for me, whether I'm going through a bad patch of dysphoria or I need help with correcting people who use the wrong pronouns for me. I know he would do ANYTHING to make me feel safe and loved. If I asked him to, he would probably start IDing as bi to specifically reflect his attraction to me.

But what exactly would that accomplish? For him to say "Yes, I'm bisexual because I'm attracted to women and also this one nonbinary person with whom I'm going to share the rest of my life"? I just... don't need that from him. I know I'm nb and he knows I'm nb, I don't feel invalidated by the way he labels his sexual orientation. He's attracted to me, he loves me, and that's all I care about. I consider our relationship to be queer by virtue of the fact that I am in it, and I sometimes joke that he is "queer by proxy", but he's not bi.

I understand why some nonbinary people would be uncomfortable dating someone who IDs as straight, gay, or lesbian. And I ABSOLUTELY believe that people who are attracted to one binary gender (even the one that is different from their own) and some nonbinary genders CAN ID as bi if they want to. But I think saying that they MUST do so is painting with far too broad a brush. And I'm still of the opinion that there is room for nb people in every sexual orientation, it just depends on whether the person in question is able and willing to be with someone who operates outside of the binary.

Attraction is complicated and messy and labels are deeply personal. There are nonbinary lesbians. There are nonbinary people who only date men and ID as gay. Part of the beauty of being nonbinary is that we break the rules. We don't always neatly fit into categories, even within the LGBTQ community. And look, if you would feel misgendered by dating someone who IDs as straight, gay, or lesbian, I think that's 100% valid. But I really can't agree that my partner basically sees me as "woman-lite" just because he doesn't call himself bisexual. I think there are plenty of other couples out there who navigate their relationships in a similar way, and I think we should allow room at the table for people who see things differently.

I hope this doesn't come off as disrespectful, because I truly do value your perspectives. I just strongly feel that this situation can be approached with more nuance.

The “B” in LGBT stands for Bisexual, as in ALL BISEXUALS, not just sga ones.

#replies

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haamuressu · 8 years ago

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I'm truly sorry if this comes off as invasive and you can definitely just ignore this ask if you want to but I was wondering if you've come to some kind of conclusion with the gender thing? (this sounds so stalker-y but I remember you hinting at some kind of a confusion a while back and now your about-page says any other pronouns along with she/her are fine so I was just curious.) Sorry again if this is in any way too nosy!

hey, it’s okay! I totally get the curiosity! this is going to be a fricking long rant (sorry for having to scroll through this in advance but read more links won't work with mobile).Also: this is the first time I properly address this publicly on my blog and it feels sort of terrifying, so don’t be surprised if I delete this answer in a couple days of time. the answer is nope, I haven’t really come to any sort of a solid conclusion that I would have been able to stick with for more than a couple of days without feeling like I was over-exaggerating the issue (I don’t even know if there is an issue.) this is not to say that gender confusion isn’t acceptable or normal, I think that it absolutely is, but I really am just such an overthinker that I wouldn’t be surprised if all of this just turned out to be something that I completely made up for myself to be even more confused of what “me” means.that’s a confusing clusterfuck of a statement. I’m going to try again.basically, all I’ve ever addressed publicly on my blog is that I’ve sort of always had weird periods of time where I find myself unsure whether or not I am 100% a girl.Most times this is something I’ve brushed off by telling myself that this confusion only comes from the mindset that society has brought me up with: which is to say that my internalized idea of a girl/a woman is so narrow, that I find it hard to relate to it because I don’t relate/conform to the roles or characteristics that are often associated with my assigned gender.for as long as I know, this could actually be true. It might just be that I still have those ideas so profoundly ingrained into my brain, that something inside me tells me that “no, you cannot be a girl, because you are not like girls are supposed to be” which is bullshit because fuck gender roles and blah blah, so forth.Also: I find no particular discomfort in being referred to as a girl. I understand that that’s at least what society views me as, and I don’t find it necessary to correct anyone, no matter if the confusion actually leads to some kind of a moment of enlightenment at some point. she/her pronouns are also completely fine and so is my name, which is also very feminine.so, what exactly even is the problem? there are a few. first off as much as it’s ok for me to be called a girl, for some reason the word “woman” when used to describe me, feels very off. I don’t know if it’s just an age thing - maybe I’m just so used to thinking of myself as a kid, that the implication of being grown up feels wrong to me. might just be that, or might not be. time will probably tell.secondly: as much as being called a girl and being seen as a girl is okay, I sometimes get the feeling that that’s not the whole picture. when it comes to labeling myself, ever since I was taught the difference between girls and boys, I felt the need to place myself a bit in the middle. this was when I was just a kid. also, at 12, I vividly remember writing an essay about “instead of being blue or red, I want to be purple” (this sounds like a fucking halsey song all of a sudden) and at 13 after learning about nonbinary identities for the first time, I actually went through a short phase during which I identified as demigirl (I stopped when I learned more about trans identities and struggles, and started to feel extremely gross and distasteful for invading something that wasn’t meant for my cis ass.) so, this “problem”(/confusion) has been around for a while.I’ve found it hard to talk about this for the longest time, and I think there are actually like…three people I’ve ever really talked about it with properly? the truth is that as much as I believe that nonbinary identities are valid (science backs me up there) and not about seeking attention or trying to be special, I know that seeking attention and trying to be special are both very strong personality traits of mine so lmaooooo basically ngl I would not be surprised if this is something I completely made up in my head. btw the things mentioned above that cause this confusion aren’t the only things that have made me think about this, but this is where my ability to express them ends. I cannot describe the feeling of something I barely even know myself with words. that’s all it is, really. a feeling, that could also be wrong.then there’s also the whole deal with my body image issues and whether or not they play a part in this whiCH I DONT FUCKING KNOW but we’re not going to get into those bc this would turn into a fucking novel with three sequels if I did thatif you read this whole thing, congrats. basically nothing has to change. I might come into conclusions, or I might not. I do however fully realize that I’m privileged as fuck with all the time I have to figure myself out, and I really don’t want to compare this fuckery to the actual struggles people go through with their gender identities when being trans/nb.btw if all of this is sounds like a bunch of bullshit that I made up to be Cool and Hip then I suggest you move along instead of beating me up about it bc the chances are that whatever nasty you have to say, I have already told myself the exact same thing a thousand timespeace

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lambda7214 · 5 years ago

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I have many thoughts about characters in sword and shield being gay/bi and/or trans and I would like to share... but I am not tagging this post because I am embarassed to share my thoughts... anyways. you will find almost nobody is straight. also for most of the people that I label cis, I enjoy the trans headcanons of (the exception is Rose. Rose is cishet because I don't like him). I'm unsure how to format this I'm sorry if it looks ugly:

Gloria/Victor: they're the player characters it doesn't matter really but I like to imagine Victor as amab nb and bi + Gloria as a cis lesbian.

Hop: trans and mlm but I'm leaning towards gay. him being trans also enhances how much he wants to be like Leon by adding that gender aspect so that pleases me.

Bede: trans for sure like his entire character is so fucking trans you cannot convince me he isn't. Anyways. he's also gnc but I wouldn't say he's nb. also gay. idk I can't see him liking girls.

Marnie: lesbian. I could see her being nb and going by she/they.

Sonia: trans lesbian!!!!!!!!!! I like thinking about her entering the gym challenge as Sonia and Leon just being so supportive like he's her #1 supporter for everything but especially her gender transition.

Leon: I see him as a cis guy. it adds onto my trans hop thoughts of Leon being his masculine cis brother he admires and wants to be just like. I see Leon as bi, and he had a crush on Sonia for a while when they were kids but it never went anywhere because he respects her boundaries like a decent human being :) raihan was his bi awakening.

Prof Magnolia: she seems like the type to not care about labels for gender or sexuality and just do whatever.

Milo: trans and bi. I originally projected onto him when his character was first revealed and decided this. he seems like the type to not bind and has just been really active so his chest just looks like big pecs.

Nessa: cis lesbian. she's dating Sonia. "close friends" game freak just say they're girlfriends. also Nessa totally taught Sonia how to do girl things that you learn growing up like how to hold your keys to stab predators :) ok that's dark and not exactly what I meant but Nessa lets Sonia ask her any "stupid" questions about being a girl and Nessa doesn't mind at all and is glad to help.

Kabu: cis gay. he has a husband. they moved from Johto together so they could get married (since Johto is in Japan and I'm pretty sure gay marriage still isn't a thing there).

Allister: trans nb. I think that's the way to say it right like you present more masculine while nb when ur afab. that's what I mean. he probably uses he/they pronouns and is always too embarassed to correct people if they use the wrong pronoun. I see him as bi and scared of being attracted to guys because he doesn't want to be objectified or infantilized by them :(

Bea: cis lesbian. big sister figure to Allister (as I like the idea of them growing up together and being best friends), and if you misgender him she will kick ur shit in.

Opal: she is absolutely a trans woman ok... the entire fairy gym is transgender propaganda and I love it. I can't decide between her being lesbian or bisexual, but I feel like she had a past significant other that left her after being together for a While, and now she's just written off as the crazy cat lady type lol.

Gordie: I'm unsure if I see him as trans or cis as I didn't really realize he existed until recently (I played shield ok...), but I'm leaning towards trans as I saw some really really cute fanart of it where he's like "mom I'm trans" and shes like "that's cool son" and then he says "mom I'm bi" and she says "me too" and then he says "mom I want to be a rock type gym leader" and that's when she gets upset😭. I also see him as bi. also I think him and Milo would be cute especially because their ship name is big boy shipping I think.... that's adorable.

Melony: cis bi. she probably had a husband who she had kid(s? I think it was mentioned she has more than just Gordie somewhere but I have no idea) with and then they separated and she found out that she's bi and has had a few girlfriends.

Piers: nb gay. also can someone tell me what the fuck his hair is like how did he make it look spiky????

Raihan: cis gay. no fucking straight guy has the ""rivalry"" Leon and Raihan do. honestly most rivalries are gay unless it's between a guy and a girl. two guys having a rivalry? they're covering up their feelings for each other through aggression. two girls having a rivalry? they're using competition to try and impress the other girl. a guy and a girl? they actually are fighting each other very platonically.

Rose: cishet. as a trans mlm I don't fucking claim him. god bless

Oleana: see I can't get a solid grasp on her personality but she seems wlw. also I like the idea of her and Bede growing up in a similar facility/orphanage (I feel like Rose "took her in" like he did with Bede) and Oleana helping Bede realize he's trans because she is also trans. they also fought people together as misunderstood trouble children.

Sword and Shield hair people: choke

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