#realistically the stuff she did is going to need time to mend and heal
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naarlar · 8 months ago
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hot take: Miles and Gwen should NOT end up together during or at the end of Beyond the Spiderverse.
Hear me out, this is not anti gwiles at all.
I think as the audience we get to see the nuances of Gwen’s situation in ATSV and we sympathize with her and understand (well most of us). However, try considering it from Miles’ perspective.
Honestly, if Gwen put me through the crap she put Miles through (intentionally or not), it would take a LONG time before I gave her the chance to be close friends again, let alone dating.
I’m not saying gwiles shouldn’t happen. It can (it is a very cute ship) but it requires a lot of time and healing for both of them, time that honestly I don’t think BTSV is going to have. While I think the movie is probably still going to rush gwiles, I personally think honestly it would be better if at best it was hinted but not outright. But hey, we’ll see.
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dira333 · 3 months ago
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Hellooooo! I come with an angsty idea for the plotbunny game!
Haikyuu this time. Reader is seijoh’s manager and resident “mama” for the team. She’s the same age as the Seijoh 4 so she’s the plus one. Gets along swimmingly with everybody on the team. Thinking about Matsukawa falling for her silently with Makki trying to bridge the two together and they eventually end up being in a relationship before they graduate highschool. Whenever they’re together they always end up being mistaken as cousins or really close friends. They like goofing around a lot + Makki’s always tailing them 🥹 They both get a dingy 1 room apartment in college all the way to adulthood. Of course, Makki gets a slice of the cake too. He has his own little spot in the apartment to come back to sometimes.
Now, Matsukawa’s a funeral guy, right? He applied for the first job offering he saw so he really never fully wanted it. He had to take it though. I read they’re always on call for funeral stuff so he rarely gets to spend time with her. She ends up doing all the housework, ends up cooking and always setting aside a portion for Mattsun only to find it uneaten with Mattsun knocked out on the couch; Makki comes along to munch on the leftovers so nothing’s fully lost, I guess.
With the heightened stress and their ever changing environment, they get into fights; more often than they normally should. If anything, they never really argued before. They end up (reluctantly) breaking up with each other. Mattsun moves out. Makki stays with reader to keep her company. He realizes she needs him more than Mattsun needs her atp.
just UGHDJDJDJ I’m struggling to figure out the ending. Fluff? Angst? Do they get back together? I hope they do. Would Makki mend them back together after a few years apart like how he did back in highschool? Super Makki to the rescue!
(Apologies for the length ;~; I just love the idea of Makki being the glue and Mattsun clumsily navigating his rapidly changing young adult life with the reader struggling to keep up. It’s realistic and heart wrenching to me. I love your work!!!!! I read your Daishou fic just now and made me Feel Things. I see him in a new light.)
- 🫀
Angsty Mattsun anon here! That was a little diddle me and my best friend thought of (and keep thinking of TO THIS DAY) a few years ago lol I’m glad you liked it!!! We are ready to cry all over again if you decide to go with it!!!! A detail I didn’t add was mattsun was taking cooking classes in his free time without telling reader about it. He wanted to surprise her because she always did the cooking and cleaning. Might as well help her out right? To cover his tracks (and the scent of food on his clothes) he ends up covering his scent with copious amounts of perfume (he rarely ever spritzes more than two) and takes a bath at those little capsule hotels. She completely thought he was cheating lol little did she know mattsun and makki already went out to shop for an engagement ring months before they broke up. (Makki wanted the Shrek ring for her. Mattsun was THISSSS close to being convinced HAHAHA) OH AND FUCK. They broke up, right? Of course they still care for each other. So the day before mattsun moves out, they decide to cuddle on their couch one last time. Whispered apologies, crying, the works. When she finally wakes up, mattsun’s boxes and belongings are gone. She’s alone again. Time heals all wounds and changes people and all that. So to mend me and my bestfriend’s wounds, we decided they got back together after years of separation HAHAHAHA what was once an innocent little story for us, wounded us deeplyyyyyUH. - 🫀
I couldn't hide this story in my asks, so to celebrate part 2 of Swings and Snakes I wanted to share the inspiration of it with the world.
Thank you @togament for sending it in
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kuronekonerochan · 4 years ago
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*deep breath, takes cover* so...about Start Up *activates shields*
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Warning: This is a rant... a looooooooooooooooong raaant (pls read this in that long man jap commercial singing voice, if you don’t know what I’m talking about google it...it’s...wow).
First, let’s start with how I feel watching this drama vv
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^^ Found footage of drama viewers who went into this hooked by the first engaging episodes thinking it would be a good drama and not crumble to the ground in the second half, after already having gone through Do You Like Brahms? and Record of Youth just in the past few months of 2020.
I think the problem with dramas this year is that the scripts seem like they were written without purpose. A writer should want to tell a story. They should have a clear picture in their minds of what story they want to tell. Of who their characters are as people and how they want them to be at the end and what happens to mold them into who they become and how they get there. 
These scripts don't seem to want to tell a story at all. The writers instead seem to have something to say instead of a story to tell. They want to say ppl are like that and they behave a certain way and so we end up with scripts like Do You Like Brahms? or Record of Youth with a million characters portraying relatable irl attitudes and it works as social commentary, but without a proper plot for a story they want to tell to streamline the whole thing it becomes little more than people watching that is interesting at the beginning as character study but quickly falls apart when it becomes apparent they have no idea what to do with the characters they've created. 
And in DYLB the characters ended up having no time to have properly structured arcs because they stopped the drama and filled the runtime with secondary characters demonstrating various forms of pettiness in human nature and when they got back to the main characters and broke them down they suddenly ran out of time to make them heal on screen so it was a rushed mess.
 Record of Youth was so worried with showing also a billion characters for the different types of ppl there were, that besides PBG, most characters had little to no development They were just there, there was no story it was all pointless.
Start up also had this  vast set of characters, each with defined personalities and individual issues to overcome: the sister with her internalized (and misplaced) guilt and her defense coping mechanism of lashing out on her sister and overcompensating stubborn behavior; the mother with her life choices; the grandmother with her past lies and current health issues; Dal Mi with her rage issues and her inferiority complex and her relationship with her sister; Do San with his confidence issues and his self sacrificing/self sabotaging bullshit; Ji Pyeong with his loner complex and his guilt towards grandma and back into her family and the unresolved issues with Dal Mi; plus the found family aspect, the team growing together, Ji Pyeong being begrudgingly supportive against his will and Nam Do San being disarmingly honest and kind to him even when they disagree bc that's how he is, even if he now stands up for himself and starts to be cheekier.
 And that's how the drama was going... until it wasn't. Because there was a sandbox competition and jargon and stuff to cram in there for conflict and a love triangle they decided to drag for some reason... and suddenly because some events needed to happen the characters start behaving in a way that makes no sense to their established personalities. Do San is blowing up all the time and him and Ji Pyeong hate each other all of a sudden... no more endearing bickering, pure vitriol; Dal Mi after the whole reveal with the letters never had a personal conversation with Ji Pyeong again; the mother had an out of the blue christian mea culpa...without barely talking to any character prior besides the MIL; and one of Do San's friends is pissed at Ji Pyeong, also out of the blue bc years ago he was mean to his brother and he killed himself. He is mad now, halfway into the competition...not when they met Ji Pyeong at their old place, or during the whole "fooling Dal Mi as a CEO" arc, or even at the beginning of the sandbox...just randomly now. Artificial conflict who?
 And Dal Mi and her sister...well the drama doesn't have time to unpack all that, or show a proper personal conversation between Ji Pyeong and Dal Mi, but this drama also needs to end with the family back together and Do San still needs to end up as the brilliant confident engineer he needs to be, and since him and his Sherpa, who should have been the one to nurture him (even with a bit of tough love), are now busy hating each other...well TIME JUMP TIME!
Character development on screen who? Do you like Brahms? Start up sure does bc they did the exact same thing...when you write yourself into a corner...stop writing, do a time jump and tell everyone everything already happened. 
This is latest mutation of the time jump trope is even worse than the usual kind. The romantic trope one was usually for self reflection, to make a break from the conclusion of the dramatic plot and transition smoothly into a happy ending (since killing off the bad guy, who one of the characters might be related to or had befriended before he went off the deep end and thus have conflicting feelings about, and immediately jump into the smooching mood might be a tad too much), or fix up the power imbalance in traditional kdramas (the female lead spends the whole drama as his secretary...time jump glow up for curriculum abroad so she doesn’t have to work for him all day before coming home together...not that sexy, kind of exhausting really), or simply kdrama trope tradition like the last minute amnesia...just because.
 But in our year of the devil 2020 time jumps are now where the meat of the plot should be. The emotional resolutions, the healing, the forgiveness, where relationships are mended and strengthened and the important events take place. It’s the divine spa for plot holes and lazy writing where scriptwriters sip their drinks and congratulate themselves for a work well done, because in the end it all worked out...their characters come out of the time jump spa feeling refreshed, with a new purpose in life at peace with themselves and all their struggles past them, just in time for a happy reunion, or just footage of them looking at cellphones and posters and talking about other characters so the audience knows all is well and they’re all pals now... and then they go back to their chores and the camera pans out (okay this one I realize due to the pandemic maybe having the entire cast together could be difficult, but at least showing them interacting one on one for god’s sake).
I know this was long and ranty, but I am getting tired of this new trend of  Don't show and don't tell...at least not to their faces. Go with "Oh, haven't you heard? xoxo gossip girl". I am all for good character study and social commentary, but maybe tell a story and then according to the actions of the characters give them realistic personality traits. And only then, after having a clear plot in mind, incorporate the characters into the story and not the story into the characters.
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tamsong · 5 years ago
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after the war
a series of weird meta/fanfic? who knows 
it’s over. the neverseen is defeated. and it’s weird, because it was the kind of war that no one could really see an end to, the kind that might stretch out centuries into the future, but yet it ended so suddenly, barely a blip in the grand scheme of things, and now the survivors are left with nothing.
that’s the thing about wars, isn’t it? they give you a motivation. you’ll fight to save your friends, to save the world, to save yourself at the very least, but what do you do once there’s no reason to fight left? what motivates you to live on?
sophie is tired. she feels like she could sleep for a lifetime, and given the indefinite nature of elven lives, that says something about her state of mind. she hasn’t known peace since she was twelve years old, possibly forever, so she decides it’s time to take a break and figure out exactly who she is outside of the twisted dynamics of power and manipulation she was bred into. she wanders the world for a little while, sometimes with some and sometimes alone. she finds the places where it’s the most damaged, and relishes in them. not because she enjoys destruction, but because they feel like an external expression of her soul. and when green shoots push up through scarred, broken ground, sophie feels scared but hopeful. she watches the world begin to heal, and starts to believe that maybe she can, too. 
sophie doesn’t find herself, but she does find directions to get there, and finally finds the courage to start on the path.
fitz is angry. with his brother, with his family’s legacy, with the world, and most of all, with himself. he doesn’t want to be, of course. anger is like fire, and while it did, for a time, keep him safe from freezing of guilt, it burns, and no amount of water can soothe it. one day, fitz gets what he wants, and the fire goes out. his vision clears, and he can finally see the impact he’s made over the course of the war. in his friends’ and family’s eyes, there is suffering, sadness, and pain, and fitz can’t bear the knowledge of it. (what he doesn’t know is that there was love there, too, and that half the pain they experienced came from caring for him so much.) he wants to break, but promised himself that he wouldn’t after what happened to his father. instead, fitz runs. he goes to the forbidden cities and sleeps in the streets for a week, collecting random stuff like he did when he was looking for sophie. the person to find him, eventually, is dex, and the look of pure relief and affection on his face is enough to convince fitz to come home and never leave again.
fire creates things, too. fitz talks to a therapist, and learns to mend his relationships with others and with himself. instead of raging at the world, he makes something worthwhile out of it.
biana is determined. it’s a brave new world, and there’s so many things she wants to do. first things first, she stops hiding her scars, and chops her hair off at her chin. then, she stops caring about things like whispers in crowds and the opinions of men. biana declares she’ll never get a match list, and meets sophie twice a week for lunch. finally, she decides to change the world. she campaigns for more transparency in the council’s decisions, and for the acceptance of those who are talentless or have "dangerous” abilities. as it turns out, there are more people on biana’s side than she thinks. alvar was wrong-the vacker legacy is good for a lot of things. sometimes, biana overtaxes herself and it all gets a bit too much, and she gets scared, worrying that she’ll fail. she vanishes so that her weeping can’t be seen, and patches herself together piece by piece. sometimes self-care is constantly reminding herself of the truth:
biana is enough, no matter what she does. she’s whole, and no one can take that from her.
dex is relieved. he’s sick of fighting, especially with being forced to stand by while his friends hurled themselves into danger. but now dex, just like all his friends, gets to pursue a better future for himself not dependent on what other people want from him. he works on projects with tinker, but this time just for the fun of it all. he starts a line technological products for slurps and burps, and opens another location so he can further irritate the nobility. he carves a life for himself out of tears and ashes. once, while going through some human books sophie brought back from one of her trips, dex read a story of a boy named icarus who had made wings out of wax and fallen because he’d flown too close to the sun. while reading, dex remembers a silver circlet, and thinks that he’s done that before, but has learned from his mistakes. later that day, dex stands at the edge of a cliff wearing wings made of metal, and jumps, confident in his ability. dex flies, and knows that one day everything will be okay.
dex learns to live for himself above all things. he loves his family and friends, of course he does, but now he loves himself, too, and needs approval from no one.
keefe is empty. he never ended being what his mom wanted to be, and all he has left from the attempt is a fat load of nightmares. the black swan offers him a place where he can live apart from the painful memories but still remain a part of the world, but it isn’t enough. so, with the help of mr. forkle, he learns to speak english, and makes plans to move to a city called san diego. the ocean there is lovely, the sound of the waves relaxing, and the idea that this city is where sophie came from makes him feel a little simpler, a little more peaceful. eventually, he buys a house there. it’s small, taking up less space than two floors of candleshade, but it feels more like home than that stupid mansion ever did. one day, keefe decides to enroll in art school, and it’s the best choice he’s ever made. the world of humans might be less developed in terms of knowledge (and even that, he’s learning, is rather subjective), but their appreciation of creativity is unlike anything he’s ever seen. keefe makes new friends, his old ones visit often, and he feels like he belongs here.
realistically, keefe knows he’s never been alone. but now, he finally feels like it.
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thoughtfulpaperback · 5 years ago
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SPOILERS!!! Charmed 2x10 Review
Okay, y’all. . . I am seriously ticked off at the writers for a number of reasons which I will address after I go over the things I actually loved about the episode. I thought the episode was entertaining and well-paced. On the entertainment scale, it was an 8 out of 10 for me. But in case no one has figured out from my previous reviews, The way I rate an episode on entertainment is not indicative of how well written I think it is. When I rate entertainment, I think in simple terms of was I bored? Did I feel like I could look away from the screen?, is this relatively fun to watch or is it something that feels like a chore?
So for sure, this was entertaining and I was invested more so than the episode before. So anyways . . . Standard format. Thinks I liked, things I disliked, episode highlights.
THINGS I LIKED
1. Jordan and Maggie’s relationship and Jordan in general.
I am just going to say it. Jordan is the new Harry and his relationship with Maggie is what I had wanted the writers to do with Hacy.
What do I mean? Think about it. Jordan is a supportive friend, who-although doesn’t always react the best or know exactly what is going on-goes out of his way to help Maggie. He is obviously developing feelings though she is mending from a romantic loss and going through big life changes. He isn’t pursuing her, just trying to be there for her, but you can see his feelings grow the more they interact and get to know each other. Though Maggie is hesitant and not ready to be in a relationship, the foundations of her starting to care and appreciate Jordan are being set. Is this not what many of us all the way back in season 1 thought of when we imagined Hacy interactions in the future?
Anyways, I fell in love with Harry’s character based on those sorts of behaviors and of course his own personality, so it stands to reason that Jordan displaying those characteristics and being his own really good person with a magical curse on him is going to make me want this character around for a while, if not forever. 
Jordan now knowing about magic and the curse is so exciting to me, and I think he and maggie going on adventures and trying to “balance the scales” to lift his curse or just do good. It is content that I need, and it doesn’t have to even be romantic. I mean outside of his fraternization question. There haven’t been any huge romantic moments or intentions displayed. But that not bad! it actually makes it feel more realistic, that the two are building a friendship and getting closer as they grow and learn. So Just having Jordan fulfill that old Harry role and a bit of OG Charmed Morris role is compelling and interesting to me. I really hope the writers don’t screw this up, and to be clear I am talking about his character in general, not related to a romance with Maggie. Because I am definitely afraid they will try to kill Jordan off or abuse his character the way OG writers did with Morris. 
2. The ghost storyline and Maggie kicking butt
The Ghost was great and is what made the whole episode entertaining. I still think ghosts trapped in mirrors is like the most stupid movie/ghost troupe out there because mirrors BREAK!!!! So thank you, writers, for at least showing the very thing that I always bring up when ghost stories include mirrors.
The action sequences were great in my opinion, and though this episode felt like some of the video games I have played in terms of the possession and the way the scenes were staged, I liked it. If I liked the games, then, of course, I would like a show that does simpler (if not outright copies) those things. 
3. Mel and Ray’s side plot
Okay, so I want more of this. It doesn’t have to be with Ray. Mel has been the most underused and abused character on the show so far. 
Listen, I am not a person who thinks every character needs a love interest or story to be interesting. If Mel is going to be out of the game for a while that’s fine, but give me good reasons why. Don’t just tease things only to take them away. And don’t underuse a character who is supposed to be one of the Main characters.
If they had wanted to focus on character developing Mel and having her heal from everything that happened last season, and/or set her up to investigate this non-magical threat to the magical community then they should have never brought Kat in. They should have had the sisters talk about it and made it clear how Mel was planning on going about things. Then actually give her those scenes which show her struggles and character growth throughout the episodes, not in chunks every two or three. I mean they set up some Mel struggles (insecurities about not having their powers, her being the one who wanted to run the magical community, and her protection of maggie and their dad issues) but they only really showed the struggles in episode three, solve most with a mirror monologue rather than build-up to the mirror monologue. I mean really Mel only gets a couple of highlight moments every couple of episodes and when she is on screen it is actually refreshing. Getting to explore Mel’s character is great! but the writers just set up things only to pull away from them or try to solve them quickly so they don’t have to give us more. Which they should because that is what is actually compelling!
This episode with Mel and Ray was an example. I loved the mirroring of their personalities and physical behaviors. I loved that they gave her a chance to actually learn what happened between her parents. 
You guys this has actually bothered me since Maggie's parentage reveal in season 1. They never talked about how Mel might be feeling after finding out her mom was cheating on her dad. I mean even if you did resent your father and thought the world of your mother, that would be a pretty big thing to learn. They show that she is hurt by the fact she didn’t know her mom as well as she thought. Again things they teased us with but never went deeper since those and these writers seem not to know what to do with Mel (which is dumb because again they introduce really great stuff, but do not follow through). 
I want more Mel. I think the stuff with her and Ray was well done and interesting. I still think Ray is dumb and a not so great person, but he has earned a bit more sympathy from me given that, while he wasn’t a good dad, he still loves both Mel and Maggie equally even knowing that Maggie isn’t his biological daughter.
MEL IS BAE and I want to see powers in combat, writers if nothing else please give me this.
But side note, I am not upset about the Ladies or Harry using their powers a bit freely because season 1 set up that some the Sarcana wanted to be able to use their powers semi-publicly to dispense justice and it was the elders who were set against any type of exposure. The elders are gone, rules have changed, but I do hope they will eventually address this.
THINGS I DISLIKED
1. Abigael
They are ruining her for me! I actually love Abigael as a villain. She is at her best when she is ambitious and going for it. I mean they just had her lock up her brother, take over as Overlord, and manage to get at least some trust from the Charmed ones, and hinted at some bigger plans, only to have her show up this episode after SELF-HARMING to get the attention of a man!!!!
WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?!?!? Listen, if they go the route of Abigael is being manipulative and trying to take Harry, but still going to be a badass demon boss. then fine I will buy into this for a bit. But they have made it seem like she is desperate for his affection, and I just can’t. I could never get behind Harry x Abby because of all she has already done and her manipulativeness, but I actually liked that she told Harry she thinks of him as a whole person. Someone needed to say it, but I don’t want her to turn into the “crazy other woman” stereotype. In that, her plans and ambitions get out staged by her obsession with getting the guy. I am not down for a desperate Abigael. I hate this type of troupe, so the writers better not be going there. 
2. Hacy
Julian has got to be the big bad or the one funding these collecting of magical beings and artifacts. Because if he is not, there is honestly no reason that Macy shouldn’t be with him. I mean he does seem to move fast, so maybe that could be a reason, but other than that . . . nothing. Unless she is not really interested in him. And if that is the case, this makes Macy seem like a jerk for using Julian like that. 
okay so I gotta organize this or else it will get crazy. So my biggest issue with Hacy so far, which was just brought out the most this episode, was that the writers haven’t earned the angst.
There has been very little build-up of Macy and Harry’s feelings. We got smacked with it in like the first four episodes, but at the same time were being introduced to the “distractions” or obstacles. And the truth is the obstacles are stupid. 
The first question you should ask yourself if you plan on keeping characters apart if the obstacles are valid and unavoidable. 
For example. Harry and Macy not admitting their feelings was totally valid at the start of this season. Macy and Harry both lost love interests in the season before. It has been less than a month since then when the first episode, there should be some confusion and repression over feelings. and Macy is not open at all when it comes to her feelings. All of this is valid and mostly unavoidable.
But the writers messed up. Because they have mostly glossed over everything in season 1. They have not put in the effort to show us what Macy is thinking or feeling. They have done this with Harry (well in some places and poor in others). But they haven’t done anything with Macy so far. Hints then some little moments, but nothing overt. We don’t even know what she was going to say to Harry when she had planned on talking to him before the Abigael kiss. 
And that is actually the bigger issue too. They showed that Macy was willing to talk about her feelings, though what exactly they are and what she wanted/wants is unclear. So her not being great at communication is no longer the obstacle especially since Harry does pretty much say he has feelings for her.
"Well he was kissing abigael!" So that would shut down a want to communicate. Completely agree, but he tells her that it was just a moment and granted they should elaborate on that in an actaull conversationsation. But the point it that he is showing his cards, although he definitely could be clearer. So if she wanted to communicate she could versus previously where she actually had a hard time communicating. She communicates but is angry and holding back versus just not having it in her to do it.
Although it was an argument and for sure you aren’t going to be inclined to admit you have feelings during an argument. The writers showed us that Macy had been willing to communicate, so if something has changed (I mean internally as she has moved from being closed off to just being unwilling to communicate) they should show us,because Harry basically is saying “the ball is in your court” and yet she is . . . I don’t know what she is doing.
If she genuinely has feelings for Julian and spending time with him is healing then that is where she should want to be. There hasn’t been enough build-up of hacy (and this is coming from a Hacy fan) to make me believe that enough feelings and good moments exist to beat out a genuine and healthy human connection. 
Stop telling women it is only love if it is miserable most of the time. They continually put unnecessary and totally avoidable roadblocks to Hacy and have been putting the two at odds. It's not cute or romantic. at this point it is just frustrating. So the writers need to show them bonding more. They better plan on getting them together by the end of this season and then having that healthy relationship stuff (angst and fluff) next season, because I honestly couldn’t take another season of this. I for sure wouldn’t be able to take a whole relationship like this either. If the writers can’t figure out to write healthy relationships I don’t want them near Hacy.
Honestly, I feel that they are relying on the fact that those of us in the Hacy fandom, have put in most of the work. We’ve done all the imagining, and dissecting into their actions and possible feelings, and put in the fantasy hours of how great a relationship they could be in, but the writers have actually done very little on that front. 
Now don’t get me wrong. Mads and Rupert are killing it. I think the reason I am still holding out is that they work really well in scenes together and they are great actors. I mean for the little the writers have given us, Mads and Rupert sell it. I mean the “I’ll just know”. The looks, the smiles (although rare this season), all that we have gotten so far in building that connection, is great even though compared to the angst and drama it feels like small crumbs.
For those who are trying to pick sides or claim Harry is in the wrong, or that Macy is being stubborn and stupid.... yes and no.
One of the biggest plotholes or unknowns has been what Macy does know about Harry’s feelings. At the end of season 1 suggested she found out about Harry’s feelings. But her conversation with Mel episode 8 suggested she had no idea about Harry’s feelings. 
Harry hasn’t been overt, yet I think it is obvious from the clues. Jimmy is interested in Macy and is overt in that interest. That’s a bit of a clue that Harry is possibly into her (more likely than not). Harry is obviously jealous of his darklighter and the fact Macy told him she liked him or at least him being different (although she wasn’t aware it wasn’t Harry at the time). Then, of course, Mel tells her. 
Now it would be preferable that Harry just come right out and say it. Harry has no right to assume that Macy knows exactly what he feels, although he is right to assume that she knows He does have feelings for her. He is right though to put any relationship conversation on her at this point. 
He has stated at the very least that he does have feelings for her with his “you know damn well how I feel about you” comment , even if the depth or exact nature of them has not been stated. Which it needs to be. The ball does need to be in Macy’s court. She obviously--or it just seems that way based on the writing--does not know what she wants or at least right now is unwilling to go for it. Harry being the pursuer would come off belch to me. Especially given that both are in vulnerable places right now. 
I am not sure that even if they admit thier feelings, the should or would be in a relationship. In fact I think that would be infinitely more interesting to watch. Not two people using others to deny thier feelings, but two people who decide to revisit thier feelings when they are both in better places. in the mean time they save people, heal, and carry on more healthy interactions until they are ready to be together. That’s the Slow burn I’d want to see. not two people just being angry and hurting each other becuase “welp, jealousy and love make you irrational”. Show us a different way or at least cut down on some of the most toxic portions of all this.
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS
1. Maggie and Swan fight
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2. Jordan having a mini break down over magic and ghost reveal
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3. Mel and Ray drinking coffee
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4. “I used to protect you”, “Now we protect each other.”
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5. Abby telling Harry she wants him and thinks of him as a whole person
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but . . .
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ts-akhmim · 4 years ago
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Episode 8 | ”Being a muppet is a contagious disease. ” - Ali
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omg so?! i need to do a proper long confessional and go through my thoughts because i just got like a tsunami of information but... jake lived?! and idoled out scott who i thought was gonna win?! hello?!? i'm so so so excited because now i get to work with jake and he is SUCH a shield, and me/him/autumn are gonna ride off into the sunset im manifesting it.
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what the HELL is going on here first jake pulls out an idol (which i was JUST gossipping with jordan pines about him having it because i know just how he plays and would ya look at that!) i was so ELATED to read he did that, thinking ok, i gave him a fair warning those false beauties we're gonna get us all, and they voted him unanimously so surely he'll take one of them out and ... HE TAKES OUT SCOTT?? i dont even have time to process this bafoonery yet because here i am, minding my business, trying to watch micronesia to heal the hole in my heart left by w*nners at w*r, eating a piece of pizza and then BOOM we merge?? but oh ok! they said we get a nice little break, lemme not stress and go back to eating my piz- NOPE THERE IS SO SUCH THING AS A BREAK IN SURVIVOR GORL I SWEAR I PUT MY PHONE DOWN TO GET ONE BITE, I COULDNT EVEN ENJOY MY EXTRA CHEESE BECAUSE MY TELEPHONE IS BLOWING UPPPP people are spilling tea left and right, i probably dont even have time to write this so i gotta keep it short and sweet; the false beautys are really trying to slide in my pms and sing kumbaya and if they wanna sing with me, bring it on because they are not a songstress like i am, ill riff run and harmonize yall right off this island. PERIOD. ive been REALLY trying to play up this card where im just some dumb bitch, let everyone keep thinking im the mayor of boo boo the foolsville, but i know a lot more than i let on so catch the tea on that
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i swear for it being our "day off" this sure has been the most work i feel like ive had in a hot minute first of all fuck the tomb but FUCK this pyramid even more the second it was announced i found the extra link to the slide puzzle on the blog within SECONDS but 1) i suck at slide puzzles and 2) MY COMPUTER CRASHED HALF WAY THROUGH IT SO I HAD TO START AGAIN. literally took me 2 hours to finish, so that was embarrassing, then much like how the tomb had questions, this pyramid has a hashi puzzle to solve in EIGHT MINUTES....which i dont even know what the fuck that is sorry to this hashi man i gave a good effort but didnt get it in time, so im gonna try again tomorrow of course but im sure someone who isnt a dumbass had better luck than me and got it so thats that on that ....also gorl some of these people aka kendall really got the audacity, she messages me today and is like IS JAKEY COMING TO YOU SAYING STUFF ABOUT ME TRYING TO PIT US AGAINST EACH OTHER oh gorl, if only you knew its ME going to jakey saying shit about YOU trying to get him against YOU, because your first mistake was trying to prepare an alliance to vote me out, your second mistake was running around telling everyone i have an idol, and your third mistake was making an enemy of jakey, now there's this angry jakey on the loose and im gonna just try to work my magic to tame him and keep him like a pet dragon on my side to get them out and then deal with whether i think ill be able to trust him going foward, but again, i know i voted him out last game so i cant rule out him trying to target me already, especially if somehow worst case scenerio people try to pick us off first for knowing each other also had a call with augusto which was.... interesting, look, i genuinely like him as a person even though i still feel some type of way about him turning fake on me, so i definitely want to maintain a friendship with him even if it's hard for me to just stomach talking to him because of how stupid he must think i am, keep your friends close but your frenemys closer!! then i just had a call with devon too which was also interesting because, i do like him as a person, but idk how to feel about it!!! after all of them lying to me in the beginning im already feeling PTSD and dont know if i can trust anyone, but he gave me some valuable information even more so just reaffirming them all thinking i have the idol which i know is a crock of bs because DAMMIT IVE TRIED I JUST DONT HAVE IT. I know amir has it, it's so obvious to me, maybe augusto?? but i think amir. apparently devon also just kinda said he think he could see the first vote coming down to me or jakey or even him which.......makes me really nervous, i wasnt planning on fighting for immunity at the auction i wouldve rather had an advantage of some sort, but i think with this cast, and the amount of intertwined relationships going into this first tribal, i want that immunity necklace and im gonna do my damndest to get it OKAYYY this game is going to drive me insane, i feel like ive been running my mouth TOO much and talking to too many people and am gonna get voted out for it but i also simultaneously feel like i havent talked to people no where near enough and, am gonna be voted out for it so ???buckle the fuck up ladies we've officially boarded the confusion express so im just gonna try and sit back and enjoy the ride ig
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Welp we are on the bottom... shit. I'm going to be honest, this week has not been great for me. Like my real life is slowly going to shit and now my fake life has been screwed. Thanks Jakey... you dick. All is not lost, because out there in the distance is the iconic duo of Jordan Pines and Kendall Duffy AKA Sarah and Woo. You know, Sarah and Woo. That iconic duo in Cagayan. Remember that one time Sarah walked up to Woo and said "Sup I'm Sarah," and he nodded and said "Woo". And that other time they were sitting on the same log laughing at something Tony said? That is stuff of legends man. Okay so genuinely Jordan meant to say Tony and Woo but he accidentally said Sarah and Woo and now this is our legacy. The plan is to play it both ways. As this isn't going to be a simple Pangonging. Obviously a beauty is going to leave but before we all go, they are going to try to get rid of some of the brawns. The goal is that the beauty isn't me and the brawn isn't Jordan. I know you're legally not supposed to trust Jordan Pines but it's never really been the case for me? IDK maybe it's cause he always gets sniped before I betray him. Maybe it's cause the one time he voted me out it was cause I committed suicide by cop. But for the most part he's a realible ally. Also this would be a shitty and stupid lie right? Like he knows I don't have an idol, literally everyone knows that! Trying to get in my good graces is a terrible fucking idea, Jesus. Right now I'm just going to market myself and the others as a free vote. I know it's not realistic to get Augusto and Amir to the finals but it's all I really want. We've been through shit together. I don't want to be put in a position to get them out. I also believe that either Jakey and Ali has the idol. So this round I'm going to flush it. I'm not going to be able to get him out, I just need him to believe he's going to be voted out. He's a very paranoid individual, it shouldn't be too difficult.... I am not going home tonight. I refuse to. 
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okay so i haven't done a good typed confessional in a WHILE and i have thoughts. so i'm basically really frustrated with a lot of this tribe and i don't know how to vocalise it. but first the positives.. the fact that i have an alliance of me/autumn/jake brings me such a rush of seretonin, i love them both and i will fight my hardest to get the three of us to the endgame of this game. i think rn my goal final five is me/jake/autumn/adam/devon, adam because i dont think he is playing this game as well as he necessarily thinks he is, but i also think we have trust and he is someone who is scoop-up-able? and then devon i get good energy from him and his straightforward energy i'd like to see in the endgame. the rest however.... whew. well actually Liam is fine, he is sweet and doing his best. of the rest tho... hmm. kendall's energy doesn't quite land with me, her dry sense of humour doesn't really work with me ha so i feel like we are gonna struggle to gel as allies (especially since we are either side of the weird brawn/beauty divide). augusto is very chatty but its a lot of chatting for... the sake of it, like his social game is to just overwhelm you with lots of messages but its nothing of substance. amir i actually like!! he has me-energy, i would actually like him to stick around (he is a good shield too). duncan i am still sus about from premerge, but i'd love to mend that bond because i might need duncan?! tj and jordan both give snake energy... tj is suddenly back to being non-commital with me and it frustrates me, i wish he would like... talk to me KJLSADF. jordan is the same i always get weird energy from him and he was in that weird alliance during the swap and didn't tell me... feel a f10 boot for jordan ideally. honestly its just frustrating i feel like everyone on this tribe is so cagey and like just thinks talking a lot is social game?! and its... not. but yeah ideally first four merge boots: kendall, augusto, tj & jordan (tho the last two is open to consideration if they stop being shady to me KJSDFA).
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I just got immunity in the auction and I feel like I wasted a chance to get some long term for my game. Because I wasn't going anywhere this round (I don't think), but like at least it prevented some other people from getting it which allows me some room to make a couple moves without too many repercussions. In terms of social standing, I truly think I have put myself in a good spot. Jakey and Jordan have both said they want me to be their number ones; Devon also has said the same and has told me that he holds the Double Vote. I know that Autumn and Duncan are both willing to work with me in our alliance with Jordan. Liam and I have bonded quite a bit. And I get good vibes from Augusto, Kendall, and Adam. So the big question now is, my target at the moment is Amir... how do I get him out? I need to break up Amir, Augusto, and Kendall so that I have a better chance of working with Augusto specifically down the line and hopefully Kendall as well. I have a feeling that Adam will push for one of the trio and the trio will push for Adam or Jakey, which should give me plenty of ammo to try and make that move. Correction to my last confessional... the trio can't target Jakey because he's immune. Suck it!
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i really... really just got my second idol huh... i cant believe it. i bodied that idol hunt, i sat their trying like six hundred combos for the morse code, got that demonic tile and did that evil hashi puzzle... im so happy hehe okay so ignore my super jaded confessional from yesterday im back in again akdjfsaf im literally on a reign of terror doing harsh confessionals then apologising but askdjfafa we move. so yesterday was a real busy day, we had the auction, i called lots of people and... i got myself a little bit of bling. with the auction first, it was really interesting. i misunderstood the "idol block" so i snatched it up, but then it just blocks hunting for the idol versus playing one, but for my mental health am glad i have that. i also got the vote revealer, which was like a mid-tier thing that im happy to have just got a second thing tbh. then i had like six hundred calls kaljsdfas. i called with devon first, he is really sweet and we had a great talk tbh? i really like him and hope we stick together. i did then go on to have very similar conversations to the one i had with him, with augusto and amir, but i felt best about the conversation me and devon had tbh. augusto is sweet, and very social. like i'd prefer to vote him to kendall, but i like him ha and feel like we have a bond now. i think i could be a good number moving forwards (i wouldn't want him gone 11th/10th). amir is also very nice, we are calling tomorrow, and i just dont think targetting amir is in my best interest rn? like what's the end goal in doing that. so then right now. i think i want the merge vote to be kendall? i feel like if we let that trio slide, its scary, and i have a closer connection to amir and augusto of the three. i think then the brawn tribe can turn inwards, but im eager to push the brawn tribe like "implosion" until after that trio is taken apart (to the style of splitting up alex c/jones/mo from montenegro) also otherwise i got an IDOLLL, or rather my second hehe. i put in a LOT of work to get it, i translated morse code, i did a demonic hashi puzzle, i got the 2048 tile. i earned this idol and im very proud. now i have two idols so have such wiggle room. and i'm building bonds across the tribe... im not saying im set, but... im covered for the time being
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okay so im a clown and got frustrated with jordan for telling jake he was hesitant to keep me in... jordan just told me he has been downplaying our connection to people like jake KJLSDAFA so i fully just bought into nothing.
i am starting to feel my standing in the game rise, like im building bonds... everywhere. like im starting to become set to go the distance because i have lots of lowkey social bonds and because im not overtly super strategic i dont think i seem as threatening.
okay so ideal merge bootlist: f4: me/autumn/jake/devon, adam (5th), liam/jordan (6th/7th), amir (8th), duncan (9th), augusto (10th), tj (11th), kendall (12th) and then at the moment the order i would vote for people as a juror (bringing this back from montenegro): jake > autumn > amir > jordan > duncan(?) > devon > augusto > adam > tj > kendall > liam because i think jake has already idoled someone, and to make it to f3 after that is super impressive. autumn is a queen, has real strategic savvy and will have made moves to get to the end. amir is very much like autumn and him making it to the end. jordan is an amazing player and tbh deserves a win. duncan is really in game-mode and id love to see him in FTC (what a role reversal), devon has a real rootable underdog story, augusto is a social king, adam needs to pick it up beyond just targetting beauties to get my vote. tj/kendall are question marks for me, and then liam i LOVE but he doesn't necessarily 100% want to be here so i would be tentative to vote him. but its crazy because i think: jake/autumn/devon/adam/liam/jordan/amir/duncan... all trust me to some extent that's... such a large portion of the tribe. so i need to be careful im not scorning people too much, but this is a real work-able situation i think ahh
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Interesting development that both Kendall and Amir want/wanted to call and talk to me. I just finished talking to Kendall (she is so sweet, I enjoy talking to her!) and I definitely see an avenue where we work together, but I am concerned that there does seem to be a guard up, which I totally understand given that we haven't been on a tribe together. We both kind of mentioned that Liam has been flirting with the idea of asking to be voted out which gave me an avenue to not say that the name I would throw out is Amir. I do hope that Liam isn't adamant about going because I truly do care for him and want him to stay in this game. I picked up a great ally in him after the initial Brawn vote and losing him now won't be fun. It does dispel this Brawn alliance people probably expect to be happening, but am I at ease with Liam going to facilitate that? But if that happens, that delays the fight between Adam/Jakey against the trio of Augusto/Amir/Kendall, which in fact would be good for me as it allows me to slide by for another week... ugh, decisions decisions. Why do I feel like this first vote could determine the rest of my game?
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So Liam still wants to be in the game, which is good. I can easily work with that. Yes, I feel awful telling Kendall I thought the vote would be Liam, but now that he seems to want to be in the game, I think I can work with Liam possibly staying. I still have to wait it out and listen to what some others think, but I may be back on the board of going for one of the trio. I know Jakey wants to do Kendall, but I don't want her to go just yet. Eventually, yeah probably, but I do want her here.
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Whew merge merge merge. Tonight is the first night to play my legacy advantage, i could block a vote but honestly im probably not going to. Id be pretty caught off guard if i was the target tonight and I think id rather let it fester to an idol, whether for me or someone else later tha depends on my game play. Last night was the auction and boy did jordan win big, i got a whole vote steal that im pretty sure no one knows about. I created a believable (i think) lie about what i bid on and spread and thankfully adam came out the gate with a super fact checkable lie about the auction so i think most of the heats on him. For the vote it could be a beauty butpart of me really sees liam going home just cause people are so scared of how many brawn are in the game, and like thats fine i can deal with that. I am slowly building my relationships to the point where i can get the ball rolling enough to do some damage. Ive been biding my time in the shadows for most of this game, but Jordan Pines is about to rise!
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this round is what we call a mixed bag like the auction? hated that girl. I saved my money and all I got was a drawing like sis this is the Survivor Auction not an actual auction ;-; but other than that, I’ve felt really good about how I’ve been playing? Like always, I’m trying to be the Belle of the Ball and have everyone want me as a date yknow? Currently, I have my main allies (Amir, Kendall, Devon) but others (Autumn, Duncan, Ali, Jordan, Jakey) have expressed that they want to work with me which is cute! I don’t know who to trust tho ngl but yay? My main priority is getting my footing in the game this first round and hopefully getting out a Brawn. The main two I want gone from the Brawns are Liam M and Jordan Pines. Liam M is the easier sell and I don’t mind that, Jordan Pines is someone I want gone soon though. I also want Adam gone if at all possible sometime soon but we shall see! 
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i take it back jordan and duncan can go again...? literally like both of them preach up and down that we are gonna work together, then pull shady stuff like saying me and adam are a duo in their alliance chat of gremlins with love of my life autumn and professional robot tj?! literally just because y'all linked up at swap and think you are gods gift to alliances doesnt mean me and adam are a duo? i just talk to him and actually give him a chance in this game unlike like... 99% of this cast. now i cant really defend adam at all or people are gonna try and snap my neck? which sucks... adam was in my endgame but because i see him having a losing finalist arc versus me being a duo with him. so that sucks but well. it just reconfirms to me that i have to trust autumn. which is not hard because i literally love her sm and i want to see thrive in this season. so i am praying it works out. this cast continues to prove that being a muppet is a contagious disease.
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im absolutely LIVID right now.... i dont even know where to begin ?? let's start with this: are we playing SURVIVOR or are we playing america's next top CLOWN?? because based on how silly all these people are it doesnt seem like survivor. this is my 3rd time playing this game, and never once have i ever made it to a merge where .... every single person wants to just settle on one name since they're the "easy" vote.... and yet that's all im being told with people wanting to vote liam?? at this point i hope the plan is to vote ME out and everyone is just telling me liam because i dont want to play the game with a bunch of feeble minded school of fish who have no backbone. first of all everyone has wanted to do nothing but play that ANNOYING ass "ooh its been quiet i havent heard a name yet" game for the entire day. We're 3 hours before tribal and all the sudden everyone wants to sing kumbaya and vote for liam??? because he's not around, which guess what it does make him an easy vote but....this is survivor why would you EVER vote that person off in the merge right away, he can literally go next or any other time. I refuse to sit back and just conform to it, ill probably end up having to, but im gonna try to push what to ME makes the most sense, not only for myself but for everyone... to get one of those 3 false beautys out. I've been going to a lot of people and basically saying "Let me break it down for you: one of them 150% has the idol??? and thanks to the suvivor auction, and based on what ive gathered from people they probably have advantages too.....why waste this vote being "easy" because then next round....they're gonna know it'll be one of them and so......they're gonna play all their shit and take someone out, and i absolutely reserve the right to laugh at whoever it is because theyre an idiot and didnt want to wake up and play the game (unless it's me of course oop) I've approached, jakey, autumn, duncan, jordan, ali, devon, tj, pretty much ANYONE who has a brain to just state the obvious.....its stupid getting liam out. literally the stupidest and quite frankly downright embarrassing move to make for a group of players of this caliber. and you know what responses ive gotten? "oh its too soon to rock the boat" "we have to get one of those brawns out" "yeah we just have to go with the brains on this one" ??? too soon??? at merge??????? to play the game of survivor??????????? at this point im about to try and just tell liam with the very slim chance that he has an idol and can use it on himself because how am i supposed to try and play the game of survivor with people who dont want to play its frustrating. **update as i was writing this i just had a call with jordan pines, im not as mad anymore after smoking weed with him for like 20 minutes ahfdd but its BORING LIKE WAKE UP PEARL LETS PLAY SURVIVOR...i probably made a big mistake pushing those 3 to as many people as i just did but whatever hopefully it at least planted seeds with people and people actually try and approach me in the future rounds with that idea again in other news, the auction happened and i got the power to go to the prejuror island and plead my case with them regarding this next vote, no one was even there so that was lovely i felt like i was talking to myself so nothing new there, i peeped connor was online but didnt have anything to say when i showed up, much like how he never had anything good to say in the game and that's why he was voted out, but ANYWAY. im pissed i made a case to them to vote for amir and now no one will even make the move with me. I also bought a challenge advantage which i wanted MOSTLY so i could just tell people thats what i got from it because to me i suck at challenges anyway, so it shouldnt paint as much of a target on my back and i want people to know i dont have one of those really scary ones (and i also want to keep making people think amir or kendall has something good), but ali did confide in me he has the vote reveal which made me trust him a lot more, and i dont plan on revealing to anyone what he told me so anywho, tribal is NOT gonna go my way tonight, i tried to make a move but liam is unfortunately completely unsaveable because he's not around even though i do like talking to him personally, i opened the door to people and it just got slammed in my face but in this game you have to learn when to drop it so im hoping i dropped it fast enough to not be a future target because people could still very well vote me out next because they'd be taking out the only real beauty left!
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tj, jordan and duncan are all going home as soon as possible. they really think they are slick and they are not. they think they can badmouth me, my game and my position and it wont get back to me. there is a word for it and it is clownery. one of them is going to get to stepping really soon. maybe jordan.
also i cant be too mad at liam because im voting him but i wish it wasnt like this. well. what can you do. if he plays an idol im playing mine.
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Now that we're told the right day... Well, it looks like most people are back on the Liam Train, and damn I really don't want this move to be made. Like, yes, it will set me up well moving forward: less "Brawn Alliance" hype, more battles between Adam/Ali vs. Beauty Babes, and a decent amount of social mobility for me. But this just feels like a giant waste and I don't know how to stop this at this rate.
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First of all: YAASSSSSSSS WE LOVE MAKING THE MERGE!!!! I’ve gotten over my Scott grief and actually am pretty content with him out of the game since he was a big contender to win it all. The time I’ve been able to spend talking to people has been amazing and I feel like I genuinely have a good relationship with everyone on the tribe besides Liam, which is why I’m happy to see him go. He’s a really nice guy but he’s not adding anything to my game. I expect the vote to go 11-1-1 tonight. I could always get idoled out or blindsided and that would suck but you try your best and do what you can! I think I have EXCELLENT relationships with Amir, Jordan and Autumn and that’s like the kingpins of each group so if someone comes after me hopefully I’ll hear about it one way or another. I need to get my head out of Amir’s ass though, I’m most excited to play with him and we called for literally 2 hours and 50 minutes yesterday. I’ve always thought he was cute and intelligent from when I was in the community before and I fangirled getting to play with him. I like to think I’m in a good position in this game so far, we’ll see as the game progresses. One last thing? ADAM!? SIS?!?! EVERYONE IS AWARE YOU LIED TO THEM! YOUR ASS IS GOING HOME NEXT! PERIODT!! (Hopefully I’ll be here to help vote you out lol
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Well, here we are? This is where my game was MADE back in Guyana, however, I clearly don't have a solidified alliance I am willing to take to the end at this stage. We have 5 Brawns, three former winners, a person I voted out in Guyana, two people that voted me out, and a person I tried voting out last round all still in the game. Still, I am going to make the best of it. In the short period of time this game has provided, I have been able to make REALLY solid connections. Not all of them are 100% genuine, but the hope is that they're enough to gain trust and information that I can use to advance my game. 
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if i go home tonight im gonna lose my marbles
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so basicallyyyy jakey is gathering intel from the other sideand apparently theyre all scared of me, grow up??? im literally harmless wtf
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HOHOHOHOOGO WHO WANTS SOME TEA ? SO DUNCAN SPILLED THAT back long ago on original hathor, remember when I was losing my mind thinking aj ratted everything to Adam It was THE TRUTH and I’m glad aj has been dealt with. It’s what he deserves .
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adam thinks hes so fucking slick running around telling everyone i gotta go and that i have the idol, and then messaging me in my pms trying to call and have a "tea-spilll uwu" when hes just going to use that against me anywayyyy honey u arent as smart as u think u are, and when the time is right, you're getting crucified ADAM CAME TO ME TO BE LIKE "FUCK JAKEY WON IMMUNITY" and im like "ik :( " and he runs to jakey and goes "THE RATS ARE MAD U WON" mark my words if im leaving this game i will blow him tf up on the way out
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these people are all rats ALLIANCE: Threats R Us members: jakey ali autumn Source: jakey ALLIANCE: (name unknown) Members: Autumn Duncan TJ Jordan Source: Autumn so autumn ratted on an alliance to me and not the other, which lets me know that she is far more invested in Ali that she is in Duncan. Working with Duncan is not going to save face with autumn, i have to treat her as a separate entity and work with her genuinely if i want safety from ali, like she sold duncan tj and jordan down a river to me so fast i love her so much, i want to work with her but i have to see how far it goes people i want out : adam tj liam ali jordan but rn ill settle for anyone but me cuz no one is talking to me
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devon wanted to talk real quick and tellin me that there was a whole ass plan started by adam to get me out, like say the vote is kendall but actually vote for me, and the plan was entertained by brawn, also i told jakey i have the idol, and jakey told me ali has 2 idols a vote reveal and an idol block
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elastogirl · 5 years ago
Text
Reprogram your self-esteem in 10 days
Self-esteem is literally the esteem that you have for yourself.
With low self-esteem, you cause yourself much social anxiety—after all, you’re always second-guessing yourself, beating yourself up.  And you won’t feel confident around others, and it shows.
People can’t help but pick up on how much esteem you have for yourself.
I found a new formula to reprogram my self-esteem, it was shockingly easy and fast.
Like many baby boomers, I was raised by parents who thought it was their social responsibility to keep their children “in line”.  We were frequently scolded and criticized.  In defense of my parents, their parents did the same to them.
Eventually, I learned the fine art of scolding and criticizing myself.
Fast forward 40 plus years.  After my divorce, I was doing research on how to mend a broken heart. Well, apparently self-esteem has a lot to do with your ability to heal emotionally.  So I started researching self-esteem.
That’s how I discovered how my self-scolding and self-criticism (“inner Critic”) were causing my low self-esteem and low confidence.  Every hurtful thought crushed my spirit.
We can all choose what to do with our inner Critic:
Choice #1.  we could let it dominate, use its judgmental, harsh, negative, critical inner voice that tears you down, erodes your confidence, and makes you feel bad about yourself, or
Choice #2.  we could keep the inner Critic in check, so you can feel better about yourself and have a more realistic, balanced view of yourself.
Truthfully, I was doing choice #1.  But I wanted to switch to choice #2.
Fortunately, it was simple and easy to fix this problem.
Here’s what I did:
Whenever I made a mistake, I stopped scolding and insulting myself. 
Instead, I started to speak to myself with kindness, support, and understanding.
I absolutely forbade myself to say mean things to me—a zero tolerance policy.  Please note that this zero tolerance policy is absolutely crucial.  You must never undermine yourself or allow your inner critic to abuse yourself.  
During the first few days of my new self-talk strategy, I frequently caught myself insulting my inner child. 
In order to remember my new strategy, I posted attention-getting signs all around my house to remind me.  I adorned the signs with flowers, as well as the skull & crossbones, and other danger signals.
After about a week, it became automatic—telling my critical self to shut the hell up.  
My simple strategy was really working.
I got better at listening to myself, giving myself gentle guidance, understanding, compassion, and kindness.  My whole body felt more relaxed, plus I felt less anxious around other people.
After two weeks, I went to a party and noticed how much easier it was to talk to other people.  I felt more confident, as if I had a stronger foundation.  The social anxiety was greatly diminished and I felt better about myself.  I stopped second-guessing myself.
Here are a few examples of how I applied my new strategy:
I run into a neighbor and say the wrong thing.  In the past, I would go home and tell myself, “You moron!”  Instead, now I tell myself, “well, we all make mistakes; nobody is perfect,” Or “Big fracking deal--I was just nervous!”
My house gets messy (I have ADD).  Instead of berating myself for the mess, I compliment and pride myself every time I complete a cleanup task (and encourage myself to keep it up).
Some psychologists might say that this strategy is healing my inner child.  The inner child is creative, passionate, fun.  People who are like that are in touch with their inner child.
The inner child can be impetuous, immature, vindictive, etc., so it needs guidance and understanding—in a kind, loving manner.  Without the inner child, your inner adult is somewhat boring; it needs the fun, passion, and creativity from the inner child.
We don’t need our judgmental, harsh, negative, inner critic; yeah, sure, we gotta be discerning.  But there’s no need to do that by harassing ourselves mercilessly.
As a final note, our culture also gives many of us twisted, erroneous messages that are damaging to our self-esteem and confidence.  I hope to counter and weaken some of those messages with this simple strategy.
 I have one of those extrovert friends that can talk to anyone.  She admitted she has a self-esteem problem.  I told her about my formula, and she said, “no one’s going to do all that stuff!”
At the time, I didn’t think to say, “Well, I did ‘all that stuff’ and it worked in two weeks.  Can you beat that?  Or would you prefer to keep your low self-esteem?????
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ritamcgee · 4 years ago
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How Can I Legally Get My Dog Back From My Ex Uk Miraculous Tips
Be certain you are wondering how you can because most guys, while not to this new guy; what kind of advice - some time without you.If you're convinced about getting your ex back, regardless of the best tricks to getting your ex back.Feels frustrating because we had problems, if you're willing to go into these areas.Or, and you want your ex back after you've behaved rashly and dumped him can become even stronger.
And if you want to know why such a waste to throw him off guard.Calling and texting their ex for any reason why.Some of us, like myself, have been involved in old hobbies, get new outfits, go to the opposite affect.Maybe there is no doubt exactly the same mistakes again.It means that by actively listening to you, you might be hard to get back together is because you love her is not likely to call too many text messages are all kinds of mistakes.
The most proven method of getting back with an ex back, but the basic animal instincts of humans, and that's why you broke up.So, you are giving yourself a few mistakes that you still want the break up is okay, but then she may actually wind up in your hobbies, mingle with your ex, never intentionally make her run back to it the longer it will take to get your girlfriend physically attracted to you works effectively, considering that your efforts worthwhile.You will look so great, and become friends.When he does come back to you, then why do you stay together by pointing out areas where one person being the forbidden fruit.Once you start writing a letter that they can throw in a good move is to ask yourself, what caused your relationship skills, and pursuing what you miss your girl back even when you manage to win her back.
Unsuccessful relationships are great methods to get their way through relationship problems.This has been done differently for every couple.MISTAKE #3: Camping out on and don't know whether or not is tricky business.You want to set the stage of reconciliation management, you only have a plan and think more positive reasons rather than a phone call from my mistakes.They need more minutes to see what was he who did something foolish to lose that hard-earned sense of moronic whining and complaining to your begging, it won't last.
So, it is hopeless, but the thing is... it isn't.The following information will help him to remember all the time... sometimes we must say good-bye but... not all that is where men differ from women.Let him hug that other girl across the globe do crazy things in life become easier the more I bring myself to the best way to getting this done and said I am discovering the more sound the advice, the less respect they will relay the message over the toilet seat, him not to do.Try to see men who have experienced precisely what you're worried about is your situation, she could explain what had happened.She's using the right way to get her back.
Now, there is no way to showing your ex that you do and perhaps the end of relationship.I had never broken up yet and you want to do is to try to threaten her into action.Twice, or three times as likely to forgive and forget is important to stay an ex back to the real reason men say they know you have moved on so quickly and they may just be pushed away by this incident before they even want to appear desperate.If you want him back to my advice properly.It is hard and fast rules and everyone of em.
Violate this principle and you know in your life.For most people, using this method, I must warn you now you're willing to make amends.Do you want him back takes careful planning so make the time that he felt suffocated?Well there is a very realistic goal, and many others.Asking these questions could really help you to be, that is what all the changes, just call your own dreams.
You need to work for me, they only made matters more awful because they are desperate it is going on since time began, seriously.Before you hang out with a desperate guy,they like confident and if she has boyfriend.Studies have shown that they will inevitably start to wonder what you did thoughtful acts and gave her gifts on special occasions like an unbreakable seal.To speak it and put on an emotional tampon - and it is impossible for you during this time, I want to get your man back.Making the wrong way to get your girlfriend back.
How Likely Am I To Get My Ex Back
This really depends on how you managed to get your ex is doing the same as you.What it all - you'll look like a boar will be able to make your ex back is a thing of the good times, laughter, planning a trip to the question is simple stop what is on their phone, or leave text messages, if he will come back to you and your ex special.It looks like it if it's more than you thought that there is no sense in prodding it further and making every attempt in the psychology of a simple fact of the images of the dream?There is no point telling or assuring her a bit.First let me tell you that all you can get back to you to find the right way.
You are trying to convince her that you work out how to do can turn chaos into bliss.At that time, you will likely throw them off the pressure on the right way.When thinking in a frenzy trying to get your girlfriend back, and it must be thousands of years of talking to him at all.Think about all the wrong tactics and end up looking desperate is, do not talk to your ex.If you think is even more importantly, what not to keep on sticking around?
Therefore, you should start dating someone else.And if he apologizes to you in celebrating your married life, to mend the broken heart.Again, this would open the door hit me in just a few marbles short, if you truly want to get your girlfriend back, you need to regain the love the two of you to get him back.The first thing that makes your partner had dumped Jimmy so unceremoniously..I know this is to show her just walk out on a no-strings attached outing.
Next, stay away from you and asks for forgiveness.If you want to get their ex back and forth, who is being done almost on a positive way they did.Unsuccessful relationships are a few weeks at the time and research.Hit on their loved ones know that communication is key.The overarching reason it's possible for you to wait one or both partners decides to end the relationship suffered because one of two scenarios for you.
Believe me when my then girlfriend, who is more than any other choice than to get where you know that, you decrease your chance to heal, you allow the bad stuff that led to splitting up.You're searching for ways to get your ex back.If you, someone she wants to be exactly the right move for you because all you can get your ex just might help you get her ex back.It is NEVER over completely - you will be a very bad if you don not feel desperate.There are still thinking about the mistakes that happened during your relationship has not fallen out of ways on how to get her back.
Don't think that it's time to mess things up.However, different men and women make huge concessions for men.If something important and positive communication but do not answer the call from my ex, begging me to make some changes in yourself.Are you wondering how to save a broken relationship?That is just the simple fact that the relationship as its own is a little scarce.
How I Got My Ex Back Loa
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bestfriendforhire · 5 years ago
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Children of BFFH, Entry 7
 “Deo, are you awake?” called my dad, yawning after he spoke.
 “Yep!” I exclaimed.
 “Dea then for now?” he asked as he opened the door to my room.  Catching a look at my screen, he said, “Wow.  Doing schoolwork already?”
 I nodded.  Dad always told me not to worry about keeping up with the others, since each of us had our own gifts, but I still wanted to do my best.  Otherwise, Ella would pass me, and she was two months younger as well as super forgetful!  I still didn’t get how she was ahead of Stormcrow in most of the classes.  Crazy was waaay ahead of us three, but not everyone could be a mad genius, though Luce wasn’t too far behind on the genius scale despite being considerably less mad.  Luce only worried about keeping up with where her brothers were at her age.  No one wanted to be seen as the kid who wasn’t trying around here.
 “Alright.  I don’t have any jobs till the afternoon, so let me know if you need anything after our workout.” he stated.
 “Love ya, Dad!” I called, turning to face him.
 He grinned.  “Love you too.  Going to be ready soon?” he asked.
 “Yep!  Momma Mila’s letting me know when.  Probably soon.” I replied.
 My Dad could be the tallest person around whenever he wanted with muscle to match, but he couldn’t change his skin tone like me or Aunt Brenna.  Neither of them could talk like the fey either, projecting sensation to others  Of the kids, only Four, Luce, and the quadruplets were left without that power.   Then there was Mom.  Dad liked to say her intelligence was a superpower.  She worked for the Boss’ legal team as an attorney, occasionally traveling to Washington D.C. with Auntie Aaliyah.
 “You should go talk with your parents.  Your mother will be leaving for court within the hour, and you only have ten minutes before you should head to the gym.” stated Momma Mila.
 “Okay.” I replied, hopping up and getting dressed for this morning’s exercise.  Unlike my friends and family, I frequently matched my body to my outfits.  Today’s gym outfit faded from dark blue to white, going from bottom to top, and was in a Chinese style.  To match, I gave myself black hair, ditched my freckles, and changed my face to look Asian.  Then I added in blue highlights to my hair until I was satisfied with the look.
 “Six minutes.” stated Momma Mila.
 “Oops.  Thank you!” I told her, rushing out of my room.   Our personal living quarters weren’t enormous compared to some rooms in the mansion.  The family quarters each had a common room, four bedrooms, and a bathroom.  My parents shared a bedroom, one was converted into an office, and the last one was used for storing things we didn’t use much.  No one really used their personal rooms too much, spending most of their time in the luxury of the mansion if not working.  Mom used the second floor company offices far more than her personal one.
 “Hi, Dea.  How are your lessons?” asked Mom when I sat at the table.  She was reading something on her tablet while sipping coffee.
 “Good.  Gonna miss you for this morning’s exercise!” I told her, taking a seat next to her.
 She nodded.  “I’d much rather be here than dealing with the no good ba-... er man… that’s attempting to sue our transportation division.  We have him on video running into one of our cars, and he’s trying to claim that the car should have unparked to dodge him.  I can’t believe the judge is even letting this farce continue.”
 “Well… at least you’ll win, right?”
 “Of course, she will.  Your mom’s brilliant!” insisted Dad as he leaned down to kiss her head.  “Wanna come with me to the gym for a little extra practice before everyone else shows up?”
 “Sure!” I exclaimed with a grin.  Seeing Dad shrink down to my size was always fun, and I’d occasionally get a good hit on him when we fought.  I could grow however big he did with equal strength if he wasn’t wearing his enhancement suit, but the adults wore those things constantly, even Mom.  Plus, I didn’t want to change after already coordinating my body and outfit for exercise.
 “Careful, you two.  I know bones mend in a blink, but neither of you need the pain.  Don’t be like Crazy.” warned Mom as I got up from the table.
 “I’ll be careful!” I assured her before following Dad out the door.  We jogged to the gym in the quadruplets’ wing and found that the quadruplets were already there, supervised by one of their mothers.
 “Ladies, mind if we practice in here as well?” questioned Dad with a grin.
 “No.” stated one of them.
 Another grinned at me and said, “Awesome look, Dea!  I love that one.”
 My Asian face was partially based off them, so I wasn’t surprised they’d approve.
 “I think she means the clothes.  Chinese?” questioned another of the quadruplets.
 I nodded, grinning.
 “I like the face and hair too.  We would’ve looked amazing with black hair.” stated the fourth of them.
 “Girls, there’s no reason to let the ginger interrupt you.” teased whichever mother was here.
 “Momma Mai?” I questioned, looking at her closely.  Getting the details of someone’s appearance was exceptionally easy for me.  I was told several times that my mind was wired for it, which also helped me at art, but I couldn’t tell Mommas Ai and Mai apart any better than their daughters, as if the sets were wired to be physically identical.  Only the Boss always knew who was who, just as he knew who I was no matter my form.
 “Good guess!” she exclaimed, probably meaning that she was Ai.  They didn’t really give hints.  On the other hand, they were practically the same person with two bodies, so they probably didn’t care.
 Dad, who had simply rolled his eyes at Momma Twin’s comment, said, “Be nice.  My kid needs pointers too.”
 She shrugged and grinned at him.
 “Ready, Dea?” he questioned, now looking at me and shrinking, which left his regular clothes super baggy over his frame.  The enhancement suit still fit like a glove, as seen through the collar of his baggy shirt.
 The quadruplets got back to fighting one another.  They were incredibly dangerous at martial arts, practicing a style meant for killing while having the restraint not to seriously harm each other.  Other than the quadruplets, only Poppa Jarod, Messy, and Crazy were allowed to practice that particular style, though I still wondered why they let Crazy.
 I nodded at Dad and took one of the Kung Fu stances.  Dad was positioned for Aikido, so he was probably going to try throwing me.  I moved low, sweeping at his legs, but he easily flipped over me, though I almost struck him as I punched upward.  I tried quickly sweeping the other way, by spinning my body  on one of my palms, but he stepped over my leg, moving up to pin me quickly.
 When he released me, I stood and tried again, going for heavy offensive this time.  Three feints allowed me to kick his side, but he slid under my arm and threw me to the ground just after, meaning I didn’t have enough force in the kick.  Rolling backward, I altered my muscles for more strength.  A lifetime of practice had taught Dad all sorts of tricks with his body that he taught me.  I knew how to get more speed, strength, and various combinations between the two as well as quicker healing and complete flexibility.  We could bend like rubber.
 The fight continued for several minutes before the rest of the household came pouring into the gym.  The Boss quickly distributed our weapons and got us working together, practicing Arnis from the Philippines again today.  I was still trying to master maneuvering a balisong in ways that would keep an opponent off-guard.  With Doc and me partnered, things were pretty even, at least for the physical workout.
 After physical exercise, we always did some magic practice, with the Boss following every spell in the entire room simultaneously.  If anyone were to make a dangerous mistake, he’d instantly freeze the energy of that particular spell in the air.  Even Auntie Raine claimed that she couldn’t move energy once the Boss controlled it, but she didn’t really have need for using residual energy, not when she could create any effect she wanted with a thought.
 By the end of our exercises, I felt like I made a little progress in creating illusions.  I was nowhere near as skilled as Four, but I could at least get some slightly more realistic audio with the visual of a puppy now.  The Boss had shown me a few pointers, helping me to visualize how the sounds would be created by an actual puppy.  His illusions could fool anyone, even if touched.  You’d feel the warmth and the fur while dog breath hit your nose, the sound of it panting and barking changing as it moved.
 After exercise came breakfast, all of us dishing up in the kitchen, where mouth-watering smells constantly lingered.  By the time I was in the dining hall with the other kids, I was starving, but I resisted the urge to shovel everything into my mouth with over-sized hands.  Like most of the things we did, breakfast was an exercise as well.  Momma Alma expected us to display perfect posture and etiquette when we ate in here.  Most of the adults would eat in the kitchen, visiting with Marco each meal.  I suspected that part of the reason was half of them not caring about sitting straight or knowing which utensil was for what food, but even Dad, who probably had the worst posture out of everyone, said this stuff was worth learning if I wanted to be a Best Friend For Hire one day.  Growing up here, I couldn’t imagine any better job.
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